Hello and thank you for being a DL contributor. We are changing the login scheme for contributors for simpler login and to better support using multiple devices. Please click here to update your account with a username and password.

Hello. Some features on this site require registration. Please click here to register for free.

Hello and thank you for registering. Please complete the process by verifying your email address. If you can't find the email you can resend it here.

Hello. Some features on this site require a subscription. Please click here to get full access and no ads for $1.99 or less per month.

No Sex before Six

How do you feel about this concept? I was taught this many years ago by a gay man. That you should wait until at least the sixth date before making sexual contact. It has served me well.

by Anonymousreply 64November 24, 2022 4:29 PM

My concept is no sex below 6 l.

by Anonymousreply 1November 23, 2022 4:22 PM

And all this time I thought it meant I couldn't have sex during the day?

Damn.

by Anonymousreply 2November 23, 2022 4:22 PM

6”***

by Anonymousreply 3November 23, 2022 4:22 PM

Before 6pm?

by Anonymousreply 4November 23, 2022 4:30 PM

No one taught you this.

by Anonymousreply 5November 23, 2022 4:31 PM

Why is everyone on here, such a bitch

by Anonymousreply 6November 23, 2022 4:32 PM

OP I feel that concept is shit, if sweet.

I had sex on my first or second “date” with everyone I’ve been with. 2x guys for approx 3 years each, and my husband, been together 8 years married for 6.

by Anonymousreply 7November 23, 2022 4:40 PM

That sounds reasonable, but I think they're more fun when they're at least 9 or 10.

by Anonymousreply 8November 23, 2022 4:41 PM

What is it with men, why does their libido rule them?

by Anonymousreply 9November 23, 2022 4:48 PM

R8 oy vey

by Anonymousreply 10November 23, 2022 4:48 PM

OP no gay man taught you that. You fail. Again,

by Anonymousreply 11November 23, 2022 4:49 PM

Men (straight and gay) are dogs, R9.

by Anonymousreply 12November 23, 2022 4:50 PM

"Why is everyone on here, such a bitch"

Because of unnecessary commas and a lack of question marks.

by Anonymousreply 13November 23, 2022 4:51 PM

R12 woof

by Anonymousreply 14November 23, 2022 4:51 PM

When did any gay man say this? It sounds like something a straight woman would say

by Anonymousreply 15November 23, 2022 4:51 PM

R12 women (straight and gay) are annoying asexual cats

by Anonymousreply 16November 23, 2022 4:51 PM

R6 are you lost?

by Anonymousreply 17November 23, 2022 4:54 PM

[QUOTE] When did any gay man say this? It sounds like something a straight woman would say

It was a middle-aged gay man, not a women, and yes he was a little bit on the heavy side (weight - wise), but sweet.

by Anonymousreply 18November 23, 2022 4:55 PM

If you don't have sex with someone by the second date, you are never going to have sex with them. You either forget about them or they become just a friend.

by Anonymousreply 19November 23, 2022 4:56 PM

Agree with r19, but I’d say third date.

Then again when I’m attracted to someone I usually jump them right away.

by Anonymousreply 20November 23, 2022 4:58 PM

Seems perfectly sensible to me. In fact I don’t mind waiting up to 16.

by Anonymousreply 21November 23, 2022 5:03 PM

When I was younger I dated an older man (in his 40s) who had a similar rule. I thought he just wasn't interested in me, but once we reached the magic number of dates he instantly got naked. Then and now I thinks it is idiotic to have rules about stuff like this. If the chemistry is there and the interest mutual, why not?You have to be really immature to not be able to build a relationship because you've already had sex with someone.

Now that I am old and grey I look back and see the best advice I ever got was to take people as they come -without expectations -and see what happens. If all you had was a sexual encounter, so be it. If he became a friend, that was great. If you expect every guy you meet to be The One, you're in for a lot of disappointment.

by Anonymousreply 22November 23, 2022 5:08 PM

Yes, r20. If I wait until the third date, I either know you enough that I'm no longer interested, or I like you too much to treat you like a dirty little whore.

by Anonymousreply 23November 23, 2022 5:11 PM

R6 I think it's because people use commas so inappropriately.

by Anonymousreply 24November 23, 2022 5:13 PM

I was schooled by elderly lesbians, which means sex on the first date, moving in together on the second, and sharing custody of a child as friendly exes by the sixth.

by Anonymousreply 25November 23, 2022 5:20 PM

No one gay or straight is waiting for the 6th date---3rd at the absolute latest

by Anonymousreply 26November 23, 2022 6:00 PM

1) No one ever said this.

2) If you guys haven't hooked up within the first few dates it means that you aren't really sexually attracted to each other. If there was heat there it would be happening.

by Anonymousreply 27November 23, 2022 6:07 PM

It really bothers what big whores people are on here.

by Anonymousreply 28November 23, 2022 6:58 PM

R28 Your writing is a bigger problem.

by Anonymousreply 29November 23, 2022 6:59 PM

[QUOTE] When I was younger I dated an older man (in his 40s) who had a similar rule. I thought he just wasn't interested in me, but once we reached the magic number of dates he instantly got naked. Then and now I thinks it is idiotic to have rules about stuff like this. If the chemistry is there and the interest mutual, why not?You have to be really immature to not be able to build a relationship because you've already had sex with someone.

The problem we see with it is a smothering sense of "too much too soon". How can you take it slow when you've already slept together within an hour of meeting for the first time.

And more important than sex is the communication between lovers, before and afterwards.

by Anonymousreply 30November 23, 2022 7:08 PM

Six dates is nothing, I've also heard some women make a men they're dating wait 3 months.

by Anonymousreply 31November 23, 2022 7:08 PM

[QUOTE] I've also heard some women make a men they're dating wait 3 months.

And no man who's not a complete cad and a bounder would object to this.

by Anonymousreply 32November 23, 2022 7:10 PM

^^granted I am a bitchless celibate unfuckable weird girl, so my opinion may not count for much, but a girl nonetheless, and imo female reticence such as it is when it comes to jumping into bed has a lot to do with safety concerns and reputation monitoring as much as anything else. STDs have more ramifications for women, as do accusations of being a whore, then there's risks of pregnancy even with the greatest of precautions. Fucking minefield when you've got working ovaries and uterus, I tell you. So yeah, I don't think prudishness and being a high-maintenance bitch has as much to do with the choice to wait and see as some of you assume.

by Anonymousreply 33November 23, 2022 7:13 PM

And once you get a rep as whore it never goes away. Time to transfer colleges (to an other state or across the country, preferably) if that happens.

by Anonymousreply 34November 23, 2022 7:19 PM

[quote] "It really bothers what big whores people are on here."

I do love sarcasm!

by Anonymousreply 35November 23, 2022 7:20 PM

When I was in college there was a girl that got this rep. She was ok looking but not great. The kind of girl that men will fuck and then throw away.

I was informed by a concerned third party that she was "double teamed" by the football team and that she was "leaking cum".

Her solution to the issue was to lay low for a semester and then to come out as bi.

by Anonymousreply 36November 23, 2022 7:23 PM

[quote]f you don't have sex with someone by the second date, you are never going to have sex with them.

That is not true in my experience.

by Anonymousreply 37November 23, 2022 7:24 PM

R31 six dates could easily take three months. I’m not waiting a quarter of a year to get laid. Actually back when I was single, I didn’t date until after we’d already had sex. Which is how every gay man I know operates. Fucking is a basic physical need. Dating is desire to make an emotional connection.

by Anonymousreply 38November 23, 2022 7:24 PM

R32 That's why he's on Grindr.

by Anonymousreply 39November 23, 2022 7:28 PM

If you have to date a guy six times before you know he's the one, then you're a miserable, clueless twat. But if he's not meant for you, and you keep on dating him 6-7 times before you can fuck, you are even more miserable, clueless, and stupid twat.

by Anonymousreply 40November 23, 2022 7:29 PM

No one said you have to "keep dating" fool. If there's no chemisty you're allowed to stop seeing each other.

by Anonymousreply 41November 23, 2022 7:31 PM

Imagine investing all that time only to find out that he's a bad kisser or a lousy lay.

by Anonymousreply 42November 23, 2022 7:35 PM

R42 exactly why it’s not a good plan.

by Anonymousreply 43November 23, 2022 7:39 PM

Usually I had sex BEFORE the first date. Then if he was any good in bed, we'd exchange numbers for a future rendezvous, which might include dinner or a drink - or maybe just another bout of sex.

What is this "Dating" of which you speak? Do gay people date?

by Anonymousreply 44November 23, 2022 7:50 PM

As several posters have stated…this Jane Austen shit about glacial courtship is bizarre. It took a few minutes of interaction for me to know if I wanted to get sweaty with a guy. It usually took one fucking to know if there was potential for ongoing primal recreation together. One post-coital recovery to know if he was a confident autonomous human. And one interaction socially after that, to know if he was mature enough to repeat the process with. Only then did I begin to want to [italic]know[/italic] him intimately.

I’m attracted to and gravitate toward self actualized humans who don’t look to anyone/everyone around them to [italic]provide[/italic] them with validation or attention, wrapped in a bow. That goes for guys I’ve slept with or platonic friends, woman, whoever. The ppl I’m attracted to find meaningful stratified validation in the fullness of their experiences, as I do.

If we had an Olympic throw down and a guy needed me to coddle him like a puppy, or text/DM at predictable frequency, when we barely knew each other, no need to proceed, it wasn’t a match. I grow tender when it is the natural evolution of the relationship.

by Anonymousreply 45November 23, 2022 8:20 PM

Menluving, yes gay men date, some even get married, imagine.

Someone mentioned women that make guy wait for few months, before they have sex. Living in a catholic society, I know the cases of young hetero couples saving themselves for the marriage. I think every guy in such a relationship is closet case.

by Anonymousreply 46November 23, 2022 8:50 PM

No one, gay or straight, should be dating someone they are not sexually compatible with.

by Anonymousreply 47November 23, 2022 9:08 PM

I thought we had to wait until six guys showed up.

by Anonymousreply 48November 23, 2022 9:14 PM

Are you trying to convince us you actually have a 2nd or 3rd date, much less a 6th, because I don't think you do ... like EVER.

by Anonymousreply 49November 23, 2022 9:18 PM

Fuck that. I had sex with my husband the night we met. And it certainly wasn't a "date."

This advice would not have served me well.

by Anonymousreply 50November 23, 2022 9:22 PM

I would like to try the three date thing but we never get to three dates because so many gay guys lay out all their baggage and talk endlessly about their exes. That's a big turn off when you are looking for a relationship. Or they ghost me or I end it before three dates. I don't think gay guys date for the most part like in the heterosexual world. Maybe there's some logic in doing it first and then seeing if your personalities match. I want to marry every guy I have sex with. That's another problem. I know. Issues.

by Anonymousreply 51November 23, 2022 9:28 PM

what is this, the 1890s?

by Anonymousreply 52November 23, 2022 9:35 PM

R52 people in the 19th Century were filthy y'know..

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 53November 23, 2022 9:50 PM

I try to adhere to "don't have sex at the house" before three. I don't want strangers to see my house and often I don't want to see their house, but there are plenty of other places to have sex. BTW, I would never have sex in my car but I don't mind his car.

by Anonymousreply 54November 23, 2022 9:52 PM

r9 you must not be a guy if you are asking that question.

by Anonymousreply 55November 23, 2022 9:54 PM

[QUOTE] I grow tender when it is the natural evolution of the relationship.

Are you tender to the touch?

by Anonymousreply 56November 23, 2022 10:00 PM

There is a guy who is giving advice on bottoming on You tube, a very young guy, I believe a zoomer, who is advising bottoms not to give up "bussy" too soon, cause tops won't respect them.

by Anonymousreply 57November 24, 2022 7:50 AM

R57 great, Neo-Puritanism. I’ve never not respected a guy who does what he wants with his body. I cohabitated with two guys long term and married a third, who I fucked about as soon as I could get their underwear off and spit in my hand.

by Anonymousreply 58November 24, 2022 12:05 PM

For me, part of determining if he’s “the one” is seeing how compatible we are in bed. Why wait 6 dates for that?

by Anonymousreply 59November 24, 2022 1:34 PM

Can you imagine waiting 6 dates only to find out he can’t suck cock worth shit?

by Anonymousreply 60November 24, 2022 1:36 PM

R60 I know. If I had to wait 6, I’d be plying him with phallic food and challenging him to see how few bites it would take to consume

by Anonymousreply 61November 24, 2022 1:39 PM

R61 A bananarama?

by Anonymousreply 62November 24, 2022 4:11 PM

Are you kidding, OP? If they don’t put out by the fourth date there won’t be a sixth.

by Anonymousreply 63November 24, 2022 4:21 PM

Link, R57?

by Anonymousreply 64November 24, 2022 4:29 PM
Loading
Need more help? Click Here.

Yes indeed, we too use "cookies." Take a look at our privacy/terms or if you just want to see the damn site without all this bureaucratic nonsense, click ACCEPT. Otherwise, you'll just have to find some other site for your pointless bitchery needs.

×

Become a contributor - post when you want with no ads!