Let's be Qatar!

I'm horrible Anglo expats from the UK, South Africa and Australia, braying about how jolly it is to finally have a maid who really puts her back into it.

I'm gold-plating. I adorn unlikely things, such as breakfast muffins, toilet paper and band-aids.

I'm Morgan Freeman, selling right the fuck out.

I'm Dantean levels of architectural horror.

I'm workers washing in a Turkish toilet (hole in floor) because there is no shower.

I'm no beer. Surprise!

I'm the deadly Kafala system. Half step up from slavery.

I foster terrible human rights violations, yet at the same time I’m too high minded to allow the drinking of beer in my stadiums.

I'm the al Thani family, counting our $75 million that we bilked out of Budweiser while laughing at the stupid, gullible Westerners.

We’re four official tops in your hotel room, and we’re ready to par-tea!

R7 Kafala, practiced all over the Gulf and Middle East is not "half a step up from slavery". It is the continuation of the identical slavery practiced by Muslims over a millennium.

I'm a stadium shaped like a gigantic cunt.

I'm HAF Sheikh Mohammed bin Hamad bin Khalifa al Thani

Just don't think about the 3 million slaves in my realm. Or do, if that gets you off!

I'm your passport. You won't be seeing me again for a while.

I'm David Beckham, I'm a shitbag.

I'm the grim urban hellscape that extends in every direction until the next equally fucked up country.

I'm 120 degrees in the shade.

There is no shade.

We're the gay men and women of Qatar. Whose, like gays in every Muslim country, live lives of daily terror at exposure. Who are distraught that the West, who support and champion gay rights, threw us under a bus in fear of a yellow card.

I'm all of the extravagantly-priced yet tawdry architecture.

I'm rising sea levels and temperatures.

They're coming to get you, Barbara.

I'm Steve Bannon, impressed and inspired!

I’m all the gay sex happening in the royal palace

I can't decide whether I'm pronounced Ka-tar or Kutter or Gutter. It seems to change day by day.

I'm the corpses of non Qatar nationals, worked to death on hundreds of unsafe construction sites.

I’m primitive, ridiculous people running around in gowns murdering each other over slights, riding camels, but then noticing sticky black stuff under the sand.

Then fast forward a century, and I’m the same devious buffoon, but with billions of dollars.

I'm the shitty muslim religion, second only to christianity in making the world hellish.

Can you get a hot dog there?

Sure thing, R27. Lock a poodle in your Porsche for an hour.

R23 it’s Cut-aR

Both of which came from Judaism, the most empty and arrogant religion of them all, r26.

I'm hair-trigger tempers balanced atop a mountain of resentment and the bottomless pit of a national inferiority complex.

I’m Janet’s undeniable presence.

I'm a Qatar prince's bodyguards beating the shit out of an Austrian businessman in a hotel bar for not agreeing to fuck him.

I'm Dubai.

I'm worse.

I'm the opulent yet dreary and tasteless shopping malls that provide the only activity for the female population.

Those not chained to the vacuum cleaner at home, that is.

Hoya, oim Jack, from Englund. Oi caime ovah to play football. Oi onlay joost got here, and, uhhh...there’s lowds of sand abowt, ain’t there? Oi weren't sure if it was real or not til oi tooched it. It was sow hot when oi did!

When oi got off the plane, somewon gave me a boonch of roses, as loike, a presunt, sow oi sed, “that’s noice of yow, oi’ll let you fook me if you loike”. Ownlay fair, ya get me?

Yesterdai oi went onna a camel’s back, it wuz big and scarey. To be fair, oi roide big hairy animals in moy spare toime quoite a lot, but usuallay oi do that inna bed...

I was going to ask, R34, for a comparison between the biggest/tourist-y city or cities in Qatar and Dubai UAE. People from all over the globe go to Dubai to party and seem to get away with a lot that would technically be forbidden or illegal. Same with Qatar? I mean under everyday circumstances, not necessarily when the World Cup is happening.

I'm the unlucky few (hopefully) visitors that will run afoul of some Qatari law or rule while at the World Cup and my world will be turned up side down because I happened to be in the wrong place with the wrong authorities and the law will actually be enforced.

We're the residents of Qatar who face such life-altering consequences on a daily basis and in much higher numbers.

I'm Lindsay Lohan. If you want a beer, you better come with me!

I'm Nicki Minaj, motionless like a roach in a corner, hoping nobody notices I am part of this shit show while watching Maluma get chased with a can of Raid.

what a shit show

It's like Nazi Olympics 2.0

[quote] I'm the opulent yet dreary and tasteless shopping malls

Richard Ashcroft said about this years ago tbf. He warned us. Did we fuck listen.

I am sand, the only thing passing for nature in this hellhole.

I'm the giant gold phallus in the souq, pretending to be a thumb

I love the discreet boys

R15

Becks: Qtar spokesmodel

I'm the Qatar football team.

I suck even by the standards of Qatar.

I'd lose a match to the Darfur Orphan. The Vassar College Croquet Club could beat my sorry ass. Kathy Griffin and Amber Heard would win over me in a fight with a pile of octopus shit (although the pile of shit might get the drop on them both immediately afterward). I couldn't lick a fucking stamp.

[quote] I’m primitive, ridiculous people running around in gowns murdering each other over slights.

That's DL in a sentence gurl we can't throw stones!

Yank “soccer” team begging it to Taylor Swift. Men used to go to war

I'm Harry Kane's big gay bougie Rolly for all the haters at FIFA!

I am the baby incubators Bush claim were disconnected by the bad Arabs ( with live babies in them ) in order to get Americans psyched into getting into yet another war