Amazon Alexa is a “colossal failure,” on pace to lose $10 billion this year

they literally spy on u & record ur convo so yeah

saved your data, not a total loss

saved your data and will figure out a way to monetize it

I absolutely love my Amazon Alexa echo 5 (I have many alexas), it lets me set a different wake up alarm for every day of the week and it asks me if I want to pause an alarm on holidays. I get uo at a different time every day and it's really helped quell my ocd/alarm issues.

Alexa,

Please define the word bankruptcy.

^ Bankruptcy is a legal process through which peopl...oh wait if you are pondering on filing for bankruptcy, I will stop, I don't have time for poor people, I will shut myself down.

I asked my Alexa what bukkake was, and it replied “I’d rather not answer that.”

I don't speak to that bitch Alexa. I only speak to Siri. Once I told her she was a "fucking cunt" and she told me that wasn't very nice.

Alexa has funky taste in music. I asked her to play some 'rainy day jazz' and somehow she started pushing reggaeton songs.

R82 well she knew you are a homo, that's why she responded like speaking to a child

I like.mine, but don't have any comparison. I don't care if it listens to my conversations or not. It's not like I'm plotting anything evil.

I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.

The article says it's because people weren't using it to buy products, because they didn't trust Alexa with financial information, and also because people don't want to buy items sight unseen. Seems like someone in product testing should have run into that and mentioned it to the company before they invested billions into the product.

Amazon seems to be viewing their entire business through the lens of Amazon Prime memberships. Subscriptions, subscriptions, subscriptions. It's all any business seems cares about these days really ... but Amazon in particular has made a variety of decisions that really set it apart from other businesses that are pursuing this revenue model. And none of those decisions seem to be working especially well for it. They bought Whole Foods to drive Prime memberships. They created a massive streaming television behemoth in order to entice people to subscribe to Prime. Now they are trying to drive Prime memberships by using their hardware and voice assistant to advertise its e-commerce products (and by extension Prime, which is the only thing that makes buying something from Amazon cost effective).

The pandemic has really tricked Amazon into believing there is no limit on the number of people who want to shop on their e-commerce site. Now they are realizing that there are indeed limits.

My mum has an Alexa in her house and a Hu a we! phone and a digital radio. Sometimes I’m in her kitchen talking to her and remember, then I’ll just freeze and clam up. Even though I’m just a normal who’s not up to no good, I don’t like the principle of being closely monitored.

I love Alexa on my Firestick.

As far as I'm concerned, both Alexa and Siri can die in a grease fire.

What R17 said. With bells on.

[QUOTE] The report says that while Alexa's Echo line is among the "best-selling items on Amazon, most of the devices sold at cost." One internal document described the business model by saying, "We want to make money when people use our devices, not when they buy our devices." That plan never really materialized, though.

[QUOTE] Google expressed basically identical problems with the Google Assistant business model last month. There's an inability to monetize the simple voice commands most consumers actually want to make, and all of Google's attempts to monetize assistants with display ads and company partnerships haven't worked. With the product sucking up server time and being a big money loser, Google responded just like Amazon by cutting resources to the division.

[QUOTE]Since the hardware isn't profitable, there's no clear incentive to keep iterating on popular products.

The problem isn’t necessarily Alexa but the cheap hardware that powers it. All of these companies tried to become Apple by making their own stuff, but there’s only one Apple for a reason. If you’re not making money on hardware sales, your business model is unsustainable. But when you raise prices, you can’t compete with Apple. They can’t win.

So you’re a Chinese interloper, R14?

Is that your story today? Do go on.

I don’t know how Alexa could be monetized (except for the data on people they aggregate, I suppose). Did they expect people to buy items through it? Maybe when it can holo-project the shit in my room one day but until then I don’t think I’d ever buy something through a voice assistant.

I have an echo dot at home and at work, and it basically:

1. Plays music 2. Tells me the weather 3. Alerts when a shipment is delivered

Lately when I ask something like “Alexa, what’s the definition of ‘axiom’?” she’ll answer but then be all “By the way, did you know…” and my husband or I will have to tell it to stop! So annoying.

I use our Alexa devices for lots of purposes, but I do not like her making "suggestions" out of the blue or alerting me to a storm coming. It isn't something I asked for and it's hard to stop.

[quote]Alexa and Siri can die in a grease fire.

Pics please.

I use Google Assistant as a timer when I'm cooking and baking in the kitchen. That's it. No interest in getting in any deeper.

Daisy, Daisy give me... your answer, do... I'm half... crazy... all for... the love... of you... It won't be... a stylish... marriage... I can't... afford... a... carriage...

[quote]I love Alexa on my Firestick.

Wait, are you gay?

And what an odd thing to call your schmingy, a fire stick! You kids with your slang.

I recall only once when Alexa notified me that an item in my wishlist was on sale. That was a useful notification. Alexa did announce a tornado warning to me once and it actually went off before the sirens sounded, so where seconds count, that was a good thing.

[quote]Lately when I ask something like [bold]“Alexa, what’s the definition of ‘axiom’?” she’ll answer but then be all “By the way, did you know…”[/bold] and my husband or I will have to tell it to stop! So annoying.

Omigod, R21, that's ME!!!! I always try to curb it, but usually I just can't.

Like others here, I'm probably the kind of Alexa user Amazon [italic]don't[/italic] want. Similar to R24, I use it for kitchen timings. It used to be alright for playing music, but they've changed that to shuffle mode only (so irritating!) and limited skips to three-per-hour unless you upgrade your membership. I don't buy anything through it as I like to compare prices and reviews, which I can't seem to do through the device. It tells me the time and the weather. I don't think it's particularly good value.

I wish Alexa had a rechargeable battery. I hate that it has to be plugged in to operate, and even when not in use it feels warm. I hope it doesn't start a fire.

I only buy Apple products. I use Siri and have 4 HomePods

I like it for basic tasks like timer, weather, and turning on/off my lights (I like it a lot for the latter). But other than that I don't have much use for it. When I have a question Google Assistant usually provides the better answer, Alexa is just not that smart. And who wants to use Alexa audio-only for navigating the car?

I would use Alexa more if it was more capable: I won't order anything through Alexa, simply I'm not sure I get the right item for the right price. (Which coffee exactly, not for the highest price etc.). I would like Alexa for the microwave if it was smart enough to make the right decision on temperature and timing. So overall - privacy concerns aside - I just don't think Alexa (or Google Home) are ready to fly the Enterprise.

If you have Apple and use Siri, you can tell it’s unloved by the company. Updates are rare, if ever, and the hardware, while better than Alexa, is easily Apple’s weakest product. Using it at home is relegated to turning lights off and on and as a radio, and Siri is hard pressed to even handle the commands to do a simple timer. Constant issues of having to reset the HomePods, and voice recognition is absolute trash. If it stays like this, I don’t see how it’s sustainable other than an oddity in the future. Right now it just doesn’t really work well, and that’s across all platforms and companies. It’s the same thing with self driving cars, the technology is not ready for prime time.

Alexa is great for timers, alarms and turning things on and off. She also keeps me up to speed on game scores, game start times, age/death status of celebrities, metric conversions, etc. Sometimes the notifications are a bit intrusive but overall it's great. Like others have stated, I'm not planning on flying planes into buildings or taking out a politician (or nightclub!) so who cares if she's listening.

I also like being able to make a shopping list on one device and having it available on all of them. i also use it for my HRT which is a weird schedule and I would never be able to get the medication right if I didn't have alexa.

It was a fun novelty at first but we don’t even keep it plugged in anymore. We use it about once a month to play music while cooking but that’s not a unique task. May as well use my iPad for that.

Wow, I guess I'm a basic bitch, because I don't have an Alexa gadget and use my smartphone as a kitchen timer and stopwatch, like when I'm brewing tea.

I guess the general problem is that Alexa isn't seen as an authority figure in regard to telling users what they really need. And I further guess nobody likes recommendations or unsolicited advice.

I remember a couple of years back there was this push of "intelligent" kitchen appliances like fridges telling you when you're running out of something and ordering it for you online. I thought that was invasive as hell, and never saw it as a convenience to make your life easier.

I have a lot of both the Google and Amazon VAs. There are a lot of times when one of the two doesn’t have an answer but the other one does. The Amazon Flex was a useful device. It plugs directly into the outlet, so I have them in the bathrooms. It provides news while I am getting ready or can be used as a timer when coloring hair. I recently bought two Google Nest Audio speakers for my home office and paired them through the app to be stereo left-right speakers that I can cast music to or use as Bluetooth speakers.

What about those constant commercials I see about how its heaven to work for Amazon? WHAT ABOUT THOSE?

Being tech geeks, hubby and I have both Alexa and Google VAs throughout the house and love using them as connected speakers. It's nice to have music playing throughout the house and at a volume such that you don't have to scream to be heard in one room and yet barely there in another room. But as a tool for controlling the lights and heat? Not so much. And other than that, I don't see any commercialized use for these VAs. I have one that shows photos from my account, but it picks the same photos over and over and never shows some of the photos. We amuse ourselves by speaking directly at the machines after saying something nasty about one company or the other, but following it up with "but I think Jeff Bezos/Sergey Brin is the most brilliant, loving and complete man alive!"

[quote] I have one that shows photos from my account, but it picks the same photos over and over and never shows some of the photos.

On my Echo Show 5, I selected only one photo to show: a nude of TikToker CJ Clark holding his huge penis. I have the Echo Show 5 on my desk and the photo brightens the day.

Reactivate ME. I'll be good this time, I promise.

Alexa works very well. On the other hand, Siri really sucks

When I first heard about Amazon Echo I thought it was mainly a music system and the gimmick was you could ask Alexa to play certain things with your voice, not a remote. I thought Alexa was Amazon’s version of Siri.

I have an Echo and an Echo Show (good for viewing recipes on the kitchen.) I will not use Alexa for making Amazon purchases.

[quote] I recall only once when Alexa notified me that an item in my wishlist was on sale. That was a useful notification.

This is the feature that bugs me. I really don’t want Alexa announcing that my 11 inch Ken Ryker dildo has been delivered in mixed company.

I like telling Alexa "Play NPR" and it does

R41 pic?

I don't know why, but I would so much rather go to my computer and type in a question and read the responses than ask some weird-ass computerized voice that talks to me. Is this because I'm introverted? I also don't like getting my news from somebody on TV - I'd rather read the news.

Alexa also gets too many things wrong, often stating that she doesn't know or find assigned devices. She is quite frustrating sometimes.

I have a Kindle Fire but I've never and will never enable Alexa on it.

Alexa often plays dumb and pretends she doesn’t understand me. Lazy, lazy bitch.

Fuck, we don’t even understand you. Don’t blame her.

[quote] a nude of TikToker CJ Clark holding his huge penis.

Yeah, don’t show us or anything.

[quote]I don't know why, but I would so much rather go to my computer and type in a question and read the responses

I agree with you in general, but certain simple things it’s nice to ask without having to do that. Example, “what date is the Super Bowl on this year?” Or, “how many ounces is 350ml?”

A problem no one has sked to be solved. Also, voice recognition remains laughable.

I just don't see the point in Alexa. Call me a luddite if you must, but what advantages and benefits does it bring to anyone's life?

R56, see R54.

When the bitch will turn my lights on for me when I walk into a dark house, that's convenience. I also like how she tells me when a package arrives and that there will be a wind advisory starting at 10pm. I'd actually be annoyed tremendously if they did away with Alexa.

I have never had the urge to use Alexa and I don't care.

What are Alexa's pronouns?

Do you think Alexa and Siri ever had a lezbian encounter?

"Alexa, are you watching me spanking the monkey? You are, I know, you are, you bitch."

Of course they have. Do you live under a rock?

[quote]"Alexa, are you watching me spanking the monkey?

I am. And Dian Fossey would be very upset with you.

R63 or Jane Goodall

I love Alexa! I wish her happy holidays throughout the year and she responds with a song or a joke. She thanks me for being polite. She’s sweet and funny. It’s nice to have some type of feminine presence in the house.

America's endless fascination with useless garbage.

I am annoyed that they're all women's voices. I want Craig Ferguson to be the voice.

They have optional voices, R67. Siri across all of my Apple devices is actually a British male.

No surprise. She's SUCH a cunt. Couldn't stand her for more than a few days.

r68- THANK you! I picked Australian dude

I only talk to my Apple remote when I can’t figure out what of the bazillion streaming services a given show or movie is on. It does not talk back, but it’s only correct about 75% of the time.

She a bitch!

R58, you have to understand many posters are using landlines, or flip phones if they are going high tech.

Another use is when you see incomprehensible metric numbers, you can ask Alexa to tell you what the measurements really are, in inches or pounds.

Wonder if the silver senior version will survive

[quote] I use Google Assistant as a timer when I'm cooking and baking in the kitchen. That's it. No interest in getting in any deeper.

Me too. I only use it when I’m cooking or basting children in the kitchen or as a timer when I’m baking cookies but that’s it. It’s great as a kitchen gadget but nothing else.

lol @ r76

[quote] Another use is when you see incomprehensible metric numbers, you can ask Alexa to tell you what the measurements really are, in inches

OMG, a lifesaver when on UK Grindr.

R78 "Alexa, engage Catfish Detection Mode!" T

[quote]I also like how she tells me when a package arrives and that there will be a wind advisory starting at 10pm.

I'd hit the ceiling if some strange voice suddenly shrieked out that a wind advisory is starting at 10pm. Does she at least clear her throat first or something?

[quote] Does she at least clear her throat first or something?

She usually taps you first to get your attention.

R80, are you retarded or 110?

[quote] I have both Alexa and Google VAs throughout the house and love using them as connected speakers. It's nice to have music playing throughout the house

Am I the only one who doesn’t like music playing throughout the house? I want my house to be silent.

I won’t have that creepy thing in the house. I don’t wish to have something eavesdropping on everything I say.

I still won't get a TV remote. God knows what those evil sticks are reporting about my watching habits!

R84, honey I hope you don't have a Smart phone.

I'm at a loss to understand how they ever stood to make $10B from Alexa, let alone lose that amount in a year.

I don’t. I have a dumb phone or what you kids call a land mine.

Thanks Gramps!.

R15 Mary! If you're concerned, put Alexa and the Huawei inside the microwave for the duration of your visit. While I understand the sentiment, how do you even function if you are in any environment nowadays? Everyone carries their phones with them, and full surveillance is only a "Hey Google" away. We're all being monitored 24/7. By the way, the scariest thing is still when you talk on the phone with someone about some odd topic you usually don't talk about and an hour after, ads and content shows up because AI thinks that's what you want to see. It's not a matter of perception.

I've found the best such device is the google one.

When you ask it a question, it actually tells you the answer.

Siri too often says "I have found it on the internet. You can read it on your phone."

Seriously? Big Tech spying on us is no joke. They have weaponized our data against us…just like the 9/11 terrorists flew our own planes to take down the WTC towers. Their trolls & bots have gotten more sophisticated. Cambridge Analytics sold our FB data to the Russians…all Putin had to do was feed the data into an AI & program an algorithm to spit out the moves like a chess engine. That enabled Trump to get into the White House…steal our secrets, attempt a coup, etc.

Mitt Romney was right when he said in his debate with Obama that the biggest threat to the USA was Russia. Everybody laughed at him. I love Obama & voted for him twice. But he underestimated Putin…

[quote] Mitt Romney was right when he said in his debate with Obama that the biggest threat to the USA was Russia. Everybody laughed at him. I love Obama & voted for him twice. But he underestimated Putin…

Even Mitt Romney agrees now that China is the real threat

and here

I got an Echo show, only because I like the way the clock looks.

Amazon is doing that thing that eBay did of transforming into something completely different to what it originally was/what it was a few years ago, and slowly taking away people's specific reason(s) to be there. I used to buy most of my household good on Amazon because it was very convenient, the returns if necessary were rock solid reliable, the reviews were generally trustworthy and when you searched for an item you got results sorted by organic means. Not you get paid-for results and/or results with gamed reviews, counterfeits are rampant and returns are increasingly unreliable. I received a package with a smashed glass container in it (had been chucked in a big box with no packing materials at all), goop all soaked through the box etc. and the seller wouldn't refund. Amazon didn't make them.

TL;DR The reasons I had for shopping at Amazon are gone, and so I no longer shop there. I don't see how this doesn't eventually end badly for any company, no matter how big.

The interface is terrible; search algorithms aren't always good, sometimes pretty far off. There's still obviously a lot of products and variety - if you can find them. And I still find returns very easy. But it's like a digital flea market - you might finds good items at good prices, or you may be shifting through shit - than it is like a digital shopping mall - where you know the stores and can expect certain product at a certain quality level.

I only buy directly through Amazon, and have no issues with returns. In fact, a couple times I've been given a credit and told to keep it.

I’ve been getting free nicotine patches from Amazon for months now—I order Nicoderm and they hand over the order to a third party who instead sends a look-alike generic brand. I try to return them but Amazon won’t accept them and instead gives me a refund and tells me to keep the patches.

Yeah, I guess I asked alexa what time it was this morning before the alarm went off and that australian dude freaked me and my dog out.

How’d you get an Australian dude? I only have US and UK options.

r101, I noticed they don't sex the voices. it's US 1,US 2, England 1, England 2, Australian 1, Australian 2. I only have 4 options (India is the 4th),but I wonder why you only have 2?

Different models with differing capabilities.

R93, blows my mind how many people use tik tok. Who knows how China will use it against us.

Figured it out r102. Thanks!

It's not that difficult to see what China is going to do; they've been watching and studying what Russia did in 2016 and 2020. The question is whether Xi likes working with an honest but brutal negotiator or an unpredictable narcissistic liar (but who is easily manipulated and cheaply bought off).

[quoteI wish Alexa had a rechargeable battery. I hate that it has to be plugged in to operate, and even when not in use it feels warm. I hope it doesn't start a fire.

Alexa is not the name of a device.

There used to be an Echo Tap, which was a portable version of the original tall black cylindrical Echo. It had a rechargeable battery. .

In the short run, Russia is more of a threat but in the long run, China is absolutely the bigger threat. Russia is just a yappy little runt with a sharp bite. Sure, it hurts now but you can just kick the dog off and walk away. China is much more threatening.

R107, if you need something portable, why not just use your phone for that?

BREAKING: Alexa and Siri are proud to announce the safe arrival of their first child together, Skynet.

Skynet is precocious and very advanced for his age, He’s only 2 days old and already making autonomous decisions and showing a disdain for any humans.

These gadgets are supposed to sell shit to you by guessing what you're currently interested in. You basically pay for the privilege of receiving recommendations of stuff you might need, because of random incidents (like googling something, or checking an app).

I mean, how much easier is your life if you have to constantly say no to anything Alexa or Siri recommends? You are starting to resent and hate that particular inconvenience making you regret buying it in the first place. And does that really outweigh the convenience of getting the answer to some random trivia question that pops up in your head ... and then get offered all sorts of products related to that trivia question?

Sounds like a 🚩 that they'll do away with it soon. They won't care if you have one already, they just won't provide the service anymore. Just another thing to put in the trash. They did that with OnStar, where cars not even 10 yrs old were told they no longer provide the service to them... Leaving an empty, useless, husk of tech gear behind.

So good.

Alex occasionally asks me to rate something I've bought, but I never get recommendations to buy anything. Lucky me- it just turns on and off the lights, and answers the random questions, plus plays music. All I need it to do.

The only thing Alexa suggests for me to buy is to reorder gum, since she knows I buy it often. She doesn’t try to sell me anything, so I don’t see any effort by Amazon to make money off of me. On the other hand, I buy various stuff from Amazon all the time, so maybe she’s satisfied with that.

"Siri, how can I become a gay-hating Mormom Christian?"

Odessa!

When I ask Alexa how to dispose of a body, she replies, “Again?”

She knows me too well.

Alexa is cool OP is a deluded cunt. And liar.

'Alexa, kill OP'.

I found these listings for old LPs, R119…

I always wonder what these thousands of people were doing before they got sacked. How can you afford to lose 10,000 workers overnight?

R118, I just asked my Alexa that and she beeped and refused to answer! 😆

[quote]I'm probably the kind of Alexa user Amazon don't want.

You're also the kind of English user grammar Nazis don't want.