How do you know if you are attractive?

You get invited to the Hell's Kitchen nudist party, silly.

I was attractive and I knew it. I was confused when I met people who didn't acknowledge it and would obsess over their dismissal. I didn't understand that looks are subjective. How did I know? People would tell me so and I got what I wanted.

You're offered free drugs by people you barely know at parties.

People give you elevator eyes up and down your body, even when wearing something pretty casual like jeans and t-shirt.

Coworkers assume you will be the model for projects that require pics/video, even if you're shy and have no interest.

You are asked out by clerks while checking out your groceries, or during other bizarre/mundane times.

Thanks R2 and R3 you've been helpful 👍

OP, do you still have your cherry?

OP, so how you feeling now? Cinderfella or ugly stepbitcher?

I have a mirror, so I know the answer is NO.

If this is GGG, I’m just going to go out on a limb and say no. No, you’re not attractive. Crazy yes. Attractive no.

"I know! It's so frustrating, isn't it, OP?"

My family never acknowledged that I was attractive, it never came up.

Outside of the home, I would have confusing encounters and complain about the encounters as a means to understand it. I would receive blank stares or criticism from my family when I complained.

I understand now, attractive people receive negative and positive attention. Because I was accustomed to being ignored and criticized at home I fixated on negative encounters and ignored the positive.

My point is, enjoy your good looks and your youth while you have both.

I'm feeling like the fairest one of all R6

Yeah. They’re staring at you because they’re nice. Happens all the time.

I think unsolicited attention or favors at weird times or when you don't know people well is a pretty good indicator.

If someone is dum b and hot, they may assume this kind of behavior (unasked for favors, job offers, etc) is normal.

The smart ones know that this isn't true and you have to dodge lots of anger and entitlement. Like free drugs may lead to an angry demand for a kiss, date, etc. Or people constantly assuming you're an idiot until you get further into a job interview or 1:1 conversation.

Young children speak without a filter. If a five year old calls you pretty, you are.

When a colleague jokes to another colleague that you are flirting with them and the other colleague exclaims "You wish!". It was a really nice ego boost.

I’d love to experience just one day of what you beautiful posters experience. Just one day to feel what it’s like. Not feeling sorry for myself, at least I don’t have major deformities. But I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about. People throwing themselves at you, young children telling you how beautiful you are. It must be blissful and a real ego boost.

I got both, r16 it confused me. I think in black and white.

Someone would tell me I was gorgeous and others would ignore me or worse. I would be confused. Well, was I gorgeous or not?

I was both. I was gorgeous to people who thought so and hideous to others.

The point is this is all very subjective.

R17 It’s not that subjective. The science of beauty is a fairly well documented one.

Omg

If you have to ask, you already have your answer.

I did volunteer work with a small group this past weekend. The others spoke with very little with me and it was only awkward small talk. On day 2, a young good looking guy joined the group and I could see the women, especially an old cougar, talking to him, and smiling, and trying to get to know him. It’s obvious how good looking people are treated differently and I’m sure that they can see for themselves how people treat them differently than others.

[quote] I’d love to experience just one day of what you beautiful posters experience.

It turns into vanity if you’re not careful. Or it could turn into a source of embarrassed self consciousness.

A guy's sex appeal factor does it for me, I find most average Joe's looking for a good time, a big smile, friendly opening line and comfort level, I find all that attractive, BDF/BDE, and they let me put my hands all over them and suck them dry, tickle their balls, chit chat and then goodbye. Men are generally easy, even married ones with free time...

I wonder if I am too. Sometimes I think I am attractive, other times I feel ugly.

I receive compliments, get noticed/"cruised," and also have eyes of my own. I'm told I'm hot, handsome, etc. This isn't constant by any means, nor is it universal; I've been rejected many times. But people have individual types and preferences, so getting rejected isn't proof that you're unattractive, you're just unattractive to that particular subject. And I recognize that there are many men much more attractive than me. I'm well above average, but few would rate me a "10." A solid 7+, maybe a 9 on a really good day.

I agree R23 and average Joe's tend to be better in bed than above average attractive guys, although I don't know why that is.

very early , when I hit 14 yo, I started having older men hitting on me, then gradually, it became anyone, women in public transports, taxi drivers, people stopping me in the streets telling me that I was gorgeous, etc. It was kind of scary. It seemed every body was a predator. I didn't have any friends. Half my acquaintances wanted to fuck me, the other half hated me because I was pretty. Then people started putting me in movies, modelling agencies offered to sign me, before I realized what was happening I was a professional model/actor. I didn't enjoy any of it, to be honest. I fucked a few A-listers, travelled and enjoyed myself a bit, and I stopped early and chose another, less glamorous, more interesting path. I am over 50 now, and I 'm still being hit on by men and women alike, and always offered things in stores. The good side , I very often don't have to pay for things, or am offered an extra silk tie "because it suits you, sir". I'm still very shy, and I don't think I ever had the opportunity to feel confident enough to sustain a healthy relationship, but there is always someone else for me. But I 'm aware that I was, by and large extremely privileged. I didn't chose to be attractive. I have incredibly good genes. Both my parents were gorgeous, and I have to best of both, in terms of built, skin, eyes, teeth etc. I know it's unfair.

A rude, unhelpful comment , r18. Also inaccurate.

I suffered from low self esteem throughout my life. Its something that Ive dealt with most of my life. When I was in my late teens and early 20s...and even later, I started to question why (I know why based on my childhood) when I would go out and drinks would line up on the bar for me. People would make comments, etc, and I did manage to score some hot boyfriends. But something always popped up to screw with my self esteem again. Once, while living in LA, my husband and I went to a club...the doorman looked at my partner and let him in, no charge while practically drooling. He then glanced over at me and said, OH, are you together ? Like I wasnt worthy. All I can say is fuck all of them. Most hit a wall in their 30s and 40s, and I still can pass for a prime piece of ass...although Im done with dating and hookups at this point...no more drama and I like being alone. I will add that as much as I lack self esteem, I look at photos of me back then and I was hot...I just wish I knew it at the time.

I once read an observation from a friend of Elizabeth Taylor who asked how Liz felt after she gained a ton of weight are was aging. It didn't seem to bother her at all, the friend said. She thinks of herself as a beautiful woman and she just shrugs off what she sees in the mirror.

I feel a bit of the same. I'm closing in on 60, 20 pounds overweight and greying. But I still think of myself as attractive even though my mirror thinks otherwise.

Honestly, it's all about how you think of yourself. Many people are objectionably attractive by societal standards. But confidence and a healthy sense of self make someone who isn't traditionally attractive exceedingly winning.

Easier said than done, but if you feel good about yourself, others will as well.

You have a standing reservation at the STD clinic.

If people are very nice and helpful to you and smile and try to be your friend.

Does it really matter? You are what you are, all you can do is attempt to maximize what you do have. If you have spent anytime on DL you will know that no one agrees with who is attractive and who is not. Posters post photos of models and half of DL can find major flaws in their looks.

Frau here. I've frequently gotten free drugs and drinks from gay men and straight women so I don't believe sex was their ulterior motive. I look alright naturally, but when I wear a little bit of makeup, I get compliments on how pretty I am from random people. Once, I hooked up with a friend of a friend without knowing he had a gf, and later, when the gf ended up visiting my place, she said she'd been upset at first but understood when she saw how pretty I was. That was awkward.

R18 Yes the objective factor is youthfulness, facial symmetry, healthy hair, straight type, clear skin and firm and muscular bodies. Tall height and broad shoulders and deep voices for men. And perky breasts, wide hips and round buttocks and high voices for women. Now what is subjective is what people are sexually attracted to, factors such as personality, status, skin color, eye color, body type, fashion sense, etc is more subjective and culturally influenced.

*straigh teeth

Bryan Singer asks you to his home and the next morning you find yourself on the floor remembering nothing, with your pants around your ankles and a tender butthole.

I was quite pretty when I was young. I even was told I was beautiful...though, I was never that. A more accurate description is that I was very cute, paid attention to how I dressed and makeup. I exercised and worked at it. Without all of that, I was average pretty...a dime a dozen. I'm very shy and awkward, even now, with people, and looking good made me feel like people will like me better, maybe admire me. Some did, but I was never popular....or had a ton of friends and dates, and others didn't like me much. It was a shield of survival back then and thought it would make up for my awkwardness. It did to an extent, but as soon as people got to know me better, it fell flat. False advertising...lol. It was a crutch. Yes....people will look at you, sometimes get catcalls and unwanted attention. That could be unconfortable, especially when you feel self conscious. Now....much older, I've lost most of my looks and now I'm invisible. I'd like to get some of it back, not looking like I did at 20, but an attractive version of myself at my current age. Being attractive can be a blessing and a curse. In hindsight, I think being average, but nice looking, is much better.

*uncomfortable^^

You get propositioned anywhere there's gay men.

If you are a man, you are not

Huh?^^ what do you mean R42 ? What is a good looking man called then?

That's a contradiction

[...]

OP, adults start telling you constantly from the time you are a small child. Not just your Grandmothers and Aunts, complete strangers in stores, in parks, walking down the street.

You know.

People want to fuck you. That's how you know.

R45 You sho is ugly.

People told me directly. It started in my early teens. So I started working the advantage. By my late teens it had become an important part of who I was. In my 20s I was pretty and glossy. Looks became more masculine and then peaked 35-45. Then stasis. Pretty sharp decline from 55-60. But I think I might rally as an elegant old gent.

I stopped by a friend's apartment to say hi and she had some other friends there I did not know. I hung out for a while and then said my goodbyes. I left and shut the door behind me and one of the guys said really loud, "oh my good she's gorgeous." I knew I was cute but that was when I realized it was more.

If you are good-looking, everyone smiles and becomes more talkative when you pass them by. They want you around and invite you places even if you aren't all that interesting. Seriously, many people who were chubby or unfortunate-looking as kids and teens will tell you how drastically different people treat you when you blossom into your looks. I remember when I started losing weight and working out and changing my diet and got a new haircut, everyone became more joyful when they saw me. As opposed to my awkward teen years where everyone was just overly mean and critical towards me.

Also people give you free things or favors if you are attractive. If you are average or ugly, people are less generous.

Not only young children, R14, but adults with learning disabilities. When my mother was at an assisted living faculty, a woman who worked in the dining room took one look at me & said, “You’re beautiful.”

Just recently, at the advanced age of 65, as I exited my car in a shopping center, I could hear a youngish sounding woman yell in my direction, “Damn, you’re fine.”

I was always pale white like a ghost. People remarked on it so much that I felt like a freak. I always wondered if I would have been considered at least OK looking if I had been able to tan. Now I'm old and red and don't care anyway.

You shop in the clothing section, as opposed to the shower curtain section.

Men tell me. I only have value in another man’s eyes.

[quote]I was always pale white like a ghost. People remarked on it so much that I felt like a freak. I always wondered if I would have been considered at least OK looking if I had been able to tan. Now I'm old and red and don't care anyway.

People are racist as shit. They have learned not to offend colored people, but they are surely taking it out on pale ones.

If you are a woman, men will treat you more closer to a person and be nice to you rather than be indifferent and rude like they are to fat, ugly women. Women may be jealous of you and give backhanded compliments or try to be your best friend and compliment your looks all the time. If you are a man, men will try to be your friend in hopes that you'll attract women for them to rebound and women will be super friendly and smile at you and even offer you things.

I'm starting to think there are more gay men than previously thought 🤔

The way straight men treat women based on attractiveness is the same as how gay men treat men. If you are a fat and ugly man, you are basically invisible and gay men will be indifferent or rude towards you. If you are good-looking, gay men will trample and fight each other to get to talk to you and older ones with money will even buy you stuff.

Daria got it right. Their first day of school, Quinn goes out and is surrounded by horny boys and envious girls who want to eagerly befriend her and compliment her. While Daria gets no reaction. And in one episode, Daria does attempt a makeover and becomes even more popular than Quinn. And Jane in another episodes joins the cheerleading squad and becomes popular. Which shows that even a slight makeover that enhances your attractiveness will result in people treating you entire differently.

I have always been so confused about my looks. I went through a period where I literally thought I was the ugliest person in the world because no one responded to me at all.

And then in my 20’s, everything suddenly changed. People would comment on how handsome I apparently was. A colleague told me I got a job because I was so handsome that the interviewer, a woman, said she almost fell off her chair.

I moved to NYC and suddenly no one noticed me again. No one asked me out. I’d get rejected on apps a lot. Yet, when I visited Chicago, so many random guys asked me out that I thought I was being punked.

I’m still so fucking confused but, as I grow older, I’m so happy not to care much any more.

My friends who are minorities complain that white guys generally ignore them no matter how objectively good looking they are. They think that the white guys who have determined they will only have sex with it date other white guys wont even consider them as a sex partner.

It’s tough for them because, in the US especially, white is pushed as the sexual ideal and these guys grew up with that. So when they want to have sex with white guys and get rejected, it’s weird psychologically

I noticed older white men are more upfront about having sex with men of color but that could be because they are older and while not always bad-looking, they can't compete with younger white guys in getting good-looking white men. So they are more open to different ethnicities which may or may not be flattering. It's not always easy for Black gays to date other Black guys because so many of them are snow queens (at least on Grindr, lol at them putting "mixed" instead of black) and have high standards towards their own.

No gay man has ever told me I'm attractive. Straight women do. So there we are.

R64, my best friend is a hot Cuban guy. His skin is darkish and says that his sexual journey has mainly been with older white men. White men his own age don’t respond much to him sexually at all. Older white men are much more willing.

It could because the older white men can’t compete for young white guys but it could also be that older white men, in their maturity and experience, have opened their sexual horizons to men of color.

As I get older, I’m also willing to try guys I wouldn’t normally.

Those men need professional help R63 They are not entitled to white guys nor are white guys required to like them back. Sounds like massive self esteem and racial issues

[Quote] Those men need professional help [R63] They are not entitled to white guys nor are white guys required to like them back. Sounds like massive self esteem and racial issues

Get a grip! No one is demanding that white guys like them. They are just relating their experiences with white guys.

R67 Yeah. I'm black and it reminds me of how straight dark-skinned black people act towards light-skinned or biracial black people who only date light-skinned black/biracial people or nonblack people. Usually the ones who whine about colorism in sexual/romantic relationships don't consider dating others with their complexion. Not saying there isn't white supremacy and colorism in the beauty standard but deprogramming yourself can help fix the issue.

I think it's a bit of both R66 young white guys can afford to be chosey, but they aren't all turning down MOC. Maybe for long term relationships which I'm not interested in anyway, but hookups they are usually down. To be frank, I've never had a white guy young or old turn down sucking my cock just because I'm not white.

How about straight white men not wanting to date me. How is that fair? They should become more mature and open their sexual horizons to men.

[quote] They are not entitled to white guys nor are white guys required to like them back.

Nobody's saying they're "entitled to white guys," just relating experiences. Geez.

A lot of people aren't attracted to white men though. I know Hispanic, Indian and Black gays who don't date white men. I have had white, Arab, Indian and Hispanic queens begging to suck me off and the first thing they is "are you hung?" and I'm a light-skinned Black guy.

"entitled to white guys ?

the weirdos and kkkreeps are here with their ignorance and bull.

Well, they remained disappointed when they noticed you are not hung, R73

After having too much attention in my 20s and 30s and beyond, I know what it's like to not be desired/attractive in my late 40's. Now I like being invisible in my 60s. You just know you got it or ya don't.

John, you're not attractive. Hear it, process it, accept it, and move on instead of constantly asking us about the looks of every single human currently living.

Oom, I fink when men tooch yow a lot? Or they, loike, pull yor hair and that, ya get me.

1. I've never been turned down

2. I pull more hot 20s and 30s dick at 52 than I did when I was in my 20s and 30s.

3. Men love fucking me.

Women hit on me all the time... but men do not find me attractive at all. In all my life I cant recall being hit on or even given a second look by a man more than a handful of times. Oh well...

When people would say I looked like an attractive celebrity. When someone would say that, I'd think "really? He's gorgeous. People really think I look like that?" It's all fun and games until someone compares you to Chris Farley and you have a whole crisis. How can someone say I remind them of Rob Lowe on Tuesday, but Chris Farley on Thursday?

I thought everyone could pretty easily tell how attractive they are just by people commenting on it throughout their young life. Plus, the pecking order at school. By high school, I certainly knew I wasn't one of the hot boys.

But I was thinking about when the Colt Studios guy said that one of his models (I think "Moose") had no idea he was sexy or good-looking until all the attention he got from the photos he did.

I was tall, skinny, and gay....in the 70s and 80s. Jr High and High school were hell. But every now and then I would hear comments about my looks...from the girls...about how good looking I was. Guys just called me a fag. Someone explained it to me once. I was good looking, but I didnt know it because of the ridicule...which made me withdrawn, and people perceived it as my being arrogant. Once out of school, I would get comments all the time...are you a model ?, are you an actor ? I just never saw it. I do acknowledge that I do withdraw, especially in groups and crowds, so I can be perceived as arrogant, but people still comment on my looks. I used to laugh when old ladies come up tome to tell me how handsome I was...very European looking. I know Im not ugly, I just never thought of myself as good looking.

A lot of people blossom after high school. If you peaked in high school you're probably not attractive.

I love being stared out. So I must be attractive. I don't know why people shake their head when walking away though. Maybe because I look 20 years younger than my real age.

^ I love being stared at by men who’re with their wives.

After a less than stellar start on the job, my married boss, almost 30 years my senior, told me he would keep me on because of “my looks.”

I look in the mirror

"I was once considered a great beauty."

One of my best friends growing up was a charming, athletic, stocky, handsome boy who was the best looking and most popular kid from 5th to 8th grade. It was already clear at 7th grade that he was no brain and not ambitious or sophisticated and he quickly faded in social clout, year after year and was invisible by HS graduation. By then he wasn't even remarkable in looks.

Meanwhile I was a fag and people said so, yet my friend was very faithful and stood by me and encouraged me to pursue all my jock ambitions despite being a fag. He was such a nice guy. A hero who peaked at 14!

In HS it was revealed that I was in fact a potential swan. I became ever better looking, managed a respectable performance as a jock and also academically, and at HS had transformed into a golden boy, headed to the Ivy League. I knew it was an assumed identity, but it was effective so I played that well into my 30s, maybe beyond.

Much of it was really built on my looks and the confidence that gave me. People often argue about who is the best looking guy in a defined group. The best looking guy at the party. On campus. On the team. At the office. In the club. And so on. Most agreed I was the 2nd best looking. Or "one of the best looking". I was almost universally agreed to be "very handsome". Tall, slim, bright, hardworking. I deliberately cultivated a seamless persona and was creepy and Patrick Bateman about it. It worked. I manufactured a smooth impeccable face and body and personality and identity. So that the eye and thought couldn't latch on to anything unlikeable or unattractive about me. This culminated in three decades during which I would receive comments like this, whenever I had a success or challenge. "Oh, you're so handsome and smart, everything comes easily to you." "You always land on your feet. Always." "You can do anything you want. Anything". This was true but really because I was a hard worker, generous to people, gave them what they wanted and needed, AND I was handsome. There was no magic.

There were others like me. The best little gay boy all grown up. If they were naturally 5s they transform into 7s. The worlds capitals are filled with natural 6s, gay men, who are functioning as 8s. Some even become deluded they are naturally 8s. They are not. A trained eyes sees this, the average person the street may not.

I suppose by 18 I was a 8.5 who became a 9.5. Or an 8 who became a 9. But factor the height and fitness, the good and open intellect, and by my 20s the fancy diplomas, which I didn't deserve, but asked for them, and did what was required so voila.

The only thing I did NOT have was a big hot dick. 😲🤡😱 It didn't hurt my sex life and love life.

People know that gay power, prestige and allure is manufactured in the trifecta power generators: a handsome face, a gorgeous body, and a big hot dick. And you can do well with 1, and fine with 2, and are golden with 3. And you sub in an out compensating qualities.

I'm decent looking (let's say a 7 on an average day at the grocery store), but I can sort of relate to the thing about being invisible to white people due to ethnicity. I'm a dark skinned arab and every time I'm in the SWANA region or even South America I get so many marriage proposals from women... ha. Although more recently I've found that I'm finally getting attention from gays (some even fetishising my background). Maybe culturally people are getting over those barriers. I think tik tok and IG may have exposed people to hotties of other ethnicities too, as dumb as that might sound.

Anyway, despite being well-built and attractive within my ethnic group, I spent most of my life feeling like shit about the way I looked and wishing I was fair skinned and blue eyed and blonde. I'm 29 now and as I enter my 30s I hope to care less and less about it. There's no doubt conventional beauty opens many doors for you, but those conventions don't interest me as much now as a spectator. Everyone is *someone's* reason to masturbate.

There is simply nothing sexier than an attractive man who doesn't seem to realize just how attractive he actually is. Nothing.

It's all about feeling comfortable in your own skin and really not giving a shit what others think of you. By this I mean not projecting your own insecurities, desires, etc. while also being self contained, open, and aware. Looks, in the conventional sense, are secondary.

An old boyfriend of similar attractiveness used to get irritated and comment when I would get all the looks/attention while he was ignored. My response; I'm not paying them any attention (as I'm with you) so of course they will look. Humans are not that sophisticated as emotional beings. We complicate our lives with a ton of thinking that has no benefit other than to build anxiety.

Age also helps. Was the bright and geeky guy until I turned 40. Grew a beard and viola! daddy time. What helped was knowing that the beard and salt and pepper hair were merely surface affectations and that I was the same person I was before. The key then-- is not to turn into an asshole.

If you have to ask, then the answer is no.

Agreed R94. You hear and see that you are on the faces and comments from those around you, strangers and friends and loved ones, regularly.

If you're attractive, people of both sexes will treat you better, and they may not even realize they're doing it. They're more likely to smile at you and say hello, offer help if it looks like you need it, agree with you, find your jokes funny rather than offensive.

Studies have shown that parents favor their attractive children over their plain children. Teachers are more likely to call on young students who are deemed to be attractive. The extra attention and praise starts early. Even later in life, people who are attractive are more likely to win jobs and promotions and be awarded higher salaries. They're considered more trustworthy and believable. They're likely to get less harsh sentences from judges and juries.

Growing up I believed I was bottom of the barrel looks wise, plus I was a really fat kid. No one ever wanted anything to do with me, it was lonely. I have clear memories of other kids telling me I was ugly, and adults grimicing when they met me. My youngest brother was the opposite and the most popular kid throughout his school life. Athletic and very good looking, he once won a national 'Boyfriend of the year' competition in some 90s teen girl magazine after being discovered in a mall. I'm 5 years older than him.

At around age 36 the compliments started creeping in. I was losing weight without actively trying and just taking better general care of myself. In 2019 I went back to my hometown for a funeral. People who I hadn't seen in years first thought I was my youngest brother. Jaws dropped when they discovered it was me. This was hilarious to me, not so much for my brother, who was well beyond his prime years by then. Hes fat, balding (I'm not!) and has too many cum pets. This was the moment I knew I was finally attractive.

I'm 44 today and notice all the differences attractive people receive. I used to get eye rolls and instant dismissal at bars and restaurants, and now it's all great service and preferential treatment. Owners/chefs come out and greet me and my parties personally in most establishments, and I only see that happening at our table. In clothing stores, ladies treat me like a doll and have great fun dressing me up and down. I let them pick out most everything I try on.

The irony is, even today I have never seen a different person in the mirror or photos. Most of the time I feel like I'm still 280lbs with dry snot on my face and baked beans stained on my t-shirt. I know it isn't the case, but I think it keeps me somewhat humble instead of letting my ego get out of control. I'm still kind of lonely too, but I realize that is by choice.

In my experience, attractive people aren't delivered to a promise land less attractive people are barred from.

Your looks can attract negative and positive attention. Complimentary attention can feel intrusive and be unwelcome at times.

Supplement plain looks with muscles and money.

This I isn’t s question that would occur to you if you were.

op is correct in a way. "cute" and "boyish" do not necessarily translate to "sexy" or "handsome."

just be a freak in the bed and you can't get rid of them.

I’ve been labeled a pretty boy most of my adult life. I was androgynous-looking as a 10-year-old. When my curly hair was longer I was sometimes mistaken for a girl. That made me self-conscious. Whatever your age, it’s true that the discomfort you feel about being the center of attention is often misinterpreted by others as arrogance.

In high school, girls and boys responded to me, but I thought it was because of my silly humor. I was too focused on and insecure about my skinny frame (from a hyper metabolism) to realize that some of the positive reactions were because of my face.

When teenage guys noticed me, I was confused. I wasn’t sure if they thought I was attractive. Were they really attracted or did they see my looks only in an objective way? Were they straight boys who were reacting to the pretty, androgynous aspects of me and that’s as far as it went for them? I didn’t know what to think. It didn’t help that I was in the closet. I was an anxious teen who tended to overanalyze things. Weren’t we all?

It wasn’t until my twenties that I developed a lot more self-esteem. At this point I was still considered pretty by both sexes, but it was less androgyny and more boyish youth. Older men were certainly checking me out. I was into guys my own age, so I thought these older men were dirty pervs. I think I missed out on knowing some interesting individuals.

Yes, people were accommodating and sometimes I’d get free items. I didn’t believe I was entitled to freebies. My parents didn’t raise me to have that attitude. They also stressed the importance of good character over appearance. I was more flattered if someone complimented me on my personality rather than on my full lips.

If I were a manipulator, I could’ve accumulated more gifts. Hey, I probably could have gotten easy A’s from a few teachers in college. Instead, there was the awkwardness of feeling obligated to give something in return for any generosity received. No, I’m not talking about putting out.

I became less social in my late thirties, due partly to other people’s drama. You get tired of the negative things: others frequently invading your space because they want your attention or something, catty behavior from competitive people who view you as a threat even when you’re minding your own business, being put in the position of gently rejecting so feelings aren’t hurt… stuff like that. I like my alone time. I don’t need the validation. Attention whores who are good-looking would disagree with me. They live on this shit. And they will die a slow death without it.

Obviously that's not true based on some of the responses in this thread R100 get over yourself.

Random people from out of nowhere will just start humping your leg.

OH DEAR! R100

When people are either overtly nice or mean to you for no particular reason.