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Let's Be a Lesbian Thanksgiving

I'm the tofurky.

by Anonymousreply 280November 29, 2022 12:41 PM

I'm the cranberry sauce dripping down my inner thighs.

by Anonymousreply 1November 10, 2022 8:42 AM

I am the bucket of KFC that always arrives with at least one lesbo.

by Anonymousreply 2November 10, 2022 11:29 AM

I'm the five canes in the hallway by the door. Judy, Judy, Pat, and Mary Jane are using theirs in the house however.

by Anonymousreply 3November 10, 2022 11:38 AM

I’m the pick up

by Anonymousreply 4November 10, 2022 11:42 AM

The street and driveway in front of the host house has more Subarus than the average well stocked Subaru dealer.

by Anonymousreply 5November 10, 2022 11:45 AM

I'm the quinoa salad molded in the shape of the turkey that won't be served on Vegetarian Thanksgiving.

by Anonymousreply 6November 10, 2022 12:01 PM

I’m the Indigo Girls cassette playing in the background.

by Anonymousreply 7November 10, 2022 12:04 PM

I’m the 15th iteration of this singularly wit free thread.

by Anonymousreply 8November 10, 2022 12:07 PM

I'm the pot. Copious amounts.

by Anonymousreply 9November 10, 2022 12:14 PM

I’m the fish smell that is rampant.

by Anonymousreply 10November 10, 2022 12:37 PM

Mein Furher!!! There was already a thread about this years ago.

by Anonymousreply 11November 10, 2022 12:51 PM

I'm the football blaring on the TV.

by Anonymousreply 12November 10, 2022 1:40 PM

We're Pat and Kathy. We're not sure why we were invited.

by Anonymousreply 13November 10, 2022 3:23 PM

I'm the Turkey baster loaded up with baby batter.

by Anonymousreply 14November 10, 2022 3:35 PM

I'm the stories that are meant to be funny but somehow just...aren't.

Did Mary Jane tell you what happened to her at Costco yesterday?

by Anonymousreply 15November 10, 2022 4:42 PM

I’m the snatch breath on Etta Mae. She loves eating pussy!

by Anonymousreply 16November 10, 2022 5:59 PM

I am the butt crack showing when I bend down just like straight fat white dudes.

by Anonymousreply 17November 11, 2022 2:31 AM

I'm the free bread pudding

by Anonymousreply 18November 11, 2022 2:35 AM

The Turkey blaster cannot be used for food.

by Anonymousreply 19November 11, 2022 3:17 AM

I'm the processing through tears coming up after dessert.

by Anonymousreply 20November 11, 2022 3:19 AM

I'm the nutloaf stuffing. And the nut-free, 'mock nutloaf stuffing' for the allergic gals amongst us.

by Anonymousreply 21November 11, 2022 3:52 AM

I'm the crate filled with "Free to a loving, and intensively investigated home" [bold]Thanksgiving Kittens.

by Anonymousreply 22November 11, 2022 4:08 AM

I’m the “NO SCENTS” sign hanging next to the doorbell.

by Anonymousreply 23November 11, 2022 4:27 AM

I'm the "queer" friend, who really wasn't invited but shows up anyway, and has never actually been with a woman, but I talk about our collective struggle as often as I can.

by Anonymousreply 24November 11, 2022 4:52 AM

I'm the Birkenstocks lined up in the entryway.

by Anonymousreply 25November 11, 2022 5:31 AM

I'm the winged mullet that transitions from the lumber counter at Home Depot to a "Friendsgiving" feast.

No working stylist can replicate it, but half the "sisters" in attendance have been rocking it since the 80's.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 26November 11, 2022 8:37 AM

I'm the out of touch old gay man who thinks his wildly outdated and utterly unrealistic caricatures of gay women are amusing somehow. I'm so predictable and kind of an embarrassment..

by Anonymousreply 27November 11, 2022 8:46 AM

I'm the Pumpkin Cheesecake Bars, because Pumpkin Pie 🥧 is a disgusting symbol of the patriarchy!

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by Anonymousreply 28November 11, 2022 9:50 AM

I am the Lemon Drop shots to separate the boys, er um, the dykes form the fems.

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by Anonymousreply 29November 11, 2022 10:23 AM

I’m the bitter manhater who can’t take a joke, used to be Michfest regular, and still call myself a separatist. I just can’t seem to get away from men though.

by Anonymousreply 30November 11, 2022 2:16 PM

I'm the insensitive dyke who brought her penised person child.

by Anonymousreply 31November 11, 2022 2:56 PM

This thread is NOT funny.

by Anonymousreply 32November 11, 2022 3:03 PM


by Anonymousreply 33November 11, 2022 3:05 PM

I'm "A League of Their Own." I've been waiting in the DVD player since last year's festivities ended early and abruptly. Thanks Sarge.

by Anonymousreply 34November 11, 2022 4:19 PM

I'm the pot of giblets simmering on the stove. They're for the blind and incontinent rescue foster dog brought along for the day because Pat didn't want to leave him alone all day. He would have been much less stressed out at home.

by Anonymousreply 35November 11, 2022 6:56 PM

I'm turqoise jewelry, feathers, imitation buckskin wearing pretendian Vulva Raindancesongwind, my pronouns are them/they, i'm neurodivergent and only have 1 spoon left to give for my dear sweet cista r27 who is right this so outdated, which is why i'm smearing my face with period blood and protesting this entire colonial transphobic event.

by Anonymousreply 36November 11, 2022 7:56 PM

I am the vegan, gluten-free stuffing. Except with the hair or two from the cats and/or dogs, it’s not truly vegan.

by Anonymousreply 37November 12, 2022 12:36 AM

I am the boy with two butch moms who has no friends because he is approaching puberty and already looks like a chubby baby dyke. Mom A is trying to do a good job, but Mom B wants nothing to do with a growing penis in her orbit. They try to have male figures come around once in a blue moon but it never rubs off because they are seen as necessary evils for the child's development and not something they enjoy or would do if they didn't feel obligated to.

by Anonymousreply 38November 12, 2022 11:22 AM

I’m Barb. I’m the elder Lez who settles all disputes amongst the girls each holiday after I’ve had Turkey. My judgements are strictly followed by everyone in our circle.

by Anonymousreply 39November 12, 2022 11:31 AM


by Anonymousreply 40November 12, 2022 11:50 AM

I'm Sal. There are stories how this now ancient dyke was once the hottest lipstick in town but internalized misogny screams out it's a trap. Every twenty minutes she leans to the side and raises a buttcheek, realsing a massive fart as she cackles and slaps you on the back. Your eyes water, your nostrils enflamed, you swear you can taste it. You're ready to crawl into under the house and die.

by Anonymousreply 41November 12, 2022 11:58 AM

I’m Big Ann. Make sure I have a real dining room chair and not some kind of folding chair, but don’t say anything out loud about it or there’ll be an incident.

by Anonymousreply 42November 12, 2022 12:09 PM

I am large Marge and will always be in charge.

by Anonymousreply 43November 12, 2022 12:14 PM

I'm the beer and cigarette run at 11am. There's no way the 4 bottles of wine on the counter are going to put the happy in this Thanksgiving.

by Anonymousreply 44November 12, 2022 12:52 PM

I'm the gluten-free vegan meal offered to those who are gluten-free AND vegan. Dammit why did you have to invite Brenda?

by Anonymousreply 45November 12, 2022 12:59 PM

I’m the 3 rescue pit bulls and their owners’ automatically defensive speech about how wonderful of a breed we are. “Don’t worry they won’t hurt you, they’re super sweet. You know they get a bad rap, but it’s all in how you raise them.”

We’ll wait under a table for scraps and hopefully it’s enough food, because if someone rubs us the wrong way we might rip a face off tonight.

Our names are Angel, Teensy, and Spencer.

by Anonymousreply 46November 12, 2022 1:11 PM

I’m the endless conversation about Tàr.

Does a great lesbian artist need to be a great lesbian person?

by Anonymousreply 47November 12, 2022 1:16 PM

I’m the icy 🥶 Schlitz Beer cans and the American Spirits

by Anonymousreply 48November 12, 2022 1:20 PM

R48 actually Donna didn’t put enough ice in the cooler last night, so they’re tepid at best.

by Anonymousreply 49November 12, 2022 1:23 PM

I'm the vicious argument over whether the tea is pumpkin spice or chai.

by Anonymousreply 50November 12, 2022 1:50 PM

“Bev, I’m not telling you again… that goddamn tea is fucking Pumpkin Spice! I know, because I bought it at Dollar Tree years ago! If Donna finds the box you’re gonna be proven wrong.”

by Anonymousreply 51November 12, 2022 2:05 PM

I'm Rosie O'Donnell's latest foster child, hiding food.

by Anonymousreply 52November 12, 2022 2:45 PM

I'm the same thread from 2018

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 53November 12, 2022 3:23 PM

We can’t be NEW & IMPROVED

by Anonymousreply 54November 13, 2022 6:43 AM

I'm the mid dinner lecture about how Thanksgiving is a patriarchal colonialist construct. Yet here we are anyway, celebrating OUR version of it.

by Anonymousreply 55November 13, 2022 6:50 AM

I'm the next idiot that will complain but there can't be another thread like this every fucking year because we did one way back when and the thread is closed. Waaah. Pass the giblets.

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by Anonymousreply 56November 13, 2022 6:56 AM

It should be a Happy 😃 DL tradition

by Anonymousreply 57November 13, 2022 6:58 AM

Mock all you like, the fact is that Lesbians tend to be awesome people and we should appreciate them.

I was at a wildlife preserve today, there was a sick bird by the trail and everyone who walked by asked if anyone was "... going to do something". Well, what do you think happened? Some unfeminine older women came along, threw a jacket over the bird and bunged it into a dog carrier they happened to have along, and said they knew where a wildlife rescue place was open on a Sunday! If something needs doing, and it needs to be done quickly and competently, ask a lesbian.

by Anonymousreply 58November 14, 2022 3:15 AM

There's nobody to fly the plane!! Are there any lesbians on board?

by Anonymousreply 59November 14, 2022 4:00 AM

There’s nothing wrong with a little humor, dear. For Gawd’s sake don’t summon that Womanface troll who will hijack the thread to rant about drag queens more than any Trumptard you’ve ever met. Ugh.

by Anonymousreply 60November 14, 2022 4:49 AM

They just happened to have a spare dog crate and know a wildlife center that was open Sunday? How fortunate.

Too bad the bird can’t tell us how it got “sick.” No matter—rescue was at hand. Bird gets saved and the ever-prepared lesbian gets rescue karma and a story that will be well-told.

by Anonymousreply 61November 14, 2022 5:19 AM

I’m the endless sight of cargo shorts. Just like the turkey, my private region has been groomed and stuffed to appear larger for this evening’s “dinner”…

by Anonymousreply 62November 14, 2022 5:26 AM

I’m the omnipresent giblets—and not just the ones that go with the turkey.

by Anonymousreply 63November 14, 2022 6:42 AM

I'm the sick bird, nursed to a healthy weight by heroic, hunter-gatherer lesbians. I'll be served next to the tofurky.

by Anonymousreply 64November 14, 2022 9:51 AM

Everyone be dancing like Ellen

by Anonymousreply 65November 14, 2022 3:42 PM

We're the LL Bean Fleece-Lined Primaloft Vests everyone wore to the dinner, and now covering the couch in the den. We're an assortment of colors in burgundy, glacier and spruce pine - all in XL.

by Anonymousreply 66November 14, 2022 3:56 PM

I'm the nutloaf at 10 p.m. Only one slice of me was taken all day. I will be taken home, frozen and then thawed out on December 31 for the New Year's Eve potluck.

by Anonymousreply 67November 14, 2022 4:08 PM

Again, I'm the impromptu yoga class in the den, held in silent protest of that folksinging going on in the living room.

by Anonymousreply 68November 14, 2022 4:10 PM

This is remarkably hate free, we have to respect our rather larger sisters even as we comedically celebrate them

by Anonymousreply 69November 14, 2022 4:25 PM

I'm the Melissa Etheridge catalog playing on a loop in the background.

by Anonymousreply 70November 14, 2022 4:28 PM

Not finding homophobic and misogynistic "jokes" about gay women is man hating, R30? If we spouted the same disgusting, ignorant filth about gay men you'd accuse us of homophobia, you loathsome hypocritical prick. Homophobia seems to only ever apply to gay men..

by Anonymousreply 71November 14, 2022 4:35 PM


by Anonymousreply 72November 14, 2022 4:54 PM

No, r72, you aren’t.

by Anonymousreply 73November 14, 2022 4:56 PM

I am the actual lesbian Thanksgiving potluck full of women with interesting lives, who don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of their style choices. Since there is a James Beard Award winner attending, the turkey will be amazing, with white truffle stuffing. She's made a walnut pate with caramelized onions and cognac for the vegetarians. Her partner is a world renowned pastry chef, who has made 3 different pies and a cheese cake. We are thankful there are no prissy men to take credit or all of the air in the room.

by Anonymousreply 74November 14, 2022 4:58 PM

We're the hurt feelings. Because no one as hurt our pussies in years.

by Anonymousreply 75November 14, 2022 5:24 PM

[quote]who don't give a fuck what anyone thinks of their style choices

Those are choices?

by Anonymousreply 76November 14, 2022 5:27 PM

DIAGF, you humorless cuntress, R71.

by Anonymousreply 77November 14, 2022 9:28 PM

Instead of telling competitive stories about our children, the talk is competitive stories about what we rescued our pets from!

by Anonymousreply 78November 14, 2022 9:47 PM

I'm Mel, and after eighteen Thanksgivings with my gal pals, I was told this year I wasn't invited. Why ? Because I made the transition from 'Melanie' to 'Melvin' - and now I'm no longer lesbian but transgender. And unwelcome.

So this year, I shall be alone at my kitchen table eating Thanksgiving dinner - but actually starting anew tradition of 'Transgender Thanksgiving'.

by Anonymousreply 79November 15, 2022 1:29 AM

^Now I’m sad. Thanks, Mel.

by Anonymousreply 80November 15, 2022 4:43 AM

I'm large Marge, ready to hit Home Depot at midnight, to save on Black Friday deals for a new snow plow for the home. Big Angie said she's interested in one, too so we'll go up together.

by Anonymousreply 81November 15, 2022 4:19 PM

I'm the Judy Chicago inspired dinner plates and setting.

You should see large Marge eat from me sans a knife and fork. She just gets stuck in, face down and munches from the plate. Brine or gravy dribbling down her chin!

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 82November 15, 2022 4:24 PM

I'm the sense of humor, and I was pointedly NOT invited.

by Anonymousreply 83November 15, 2022 4:31 PM

We're the regulars, outside drinking beer, playing cornhole, throwing lit butts at feral cats, and ignoring the dinner inside that was done hours ago. Some of us head in to check the score, drop a deuce, grab some chips and send a text. Oh shit, we're too drunk to text.

by Anonymousreply 84November 15, 2022 5:34 PM

I'm the overused toilet in the guest bathroom. 'Nuff said.

by Anonymousreply 85November 15, 2022 10:47 PM

Mel, you should start your own thread.

by Anonymousreply 86November 16, 2022 7:09 AM

I'm the King Size Avocado mattress the hosts just bought a few weeks ago for the master bed, and has kept quiet about. They remember when they bought the Purple mattress a few years ago and told the gals - everyone decided to 'try it out' before they left and ruined the mattress beyond warranty. The last thing the hosts want is for these amazons in the dining room to come in here and make 'snow angels' on me.

by Anonymousreply 87November 17, 2022 1:46 PM

I'm the argument over money wasted on fresh cranberries, when the canned and long-expired kind found in the garbage room of the apartment complex would've been sufficient.

by Anonymousreply 88November 17, 2022 1:57 PM

are all Lezzies poor?

by Anonymousreply 89November 17, 2022 2:14 PM

As someone who used to work at a mattress store…I totally laughed out loud at the above mattress post.

I don’t know how or why but lesbians always ruined their mattress beyond warranty when I worked there….and was always upset when the said warranty wasn’t eligible.

by Anonymousreply 90November 17, 2022 2:19 PM

[R90] I'm glad I gave you your laugh for the day.

It's funny because I know a lesbian couple (average sized) who are constantly buying top-of-the-line mattresses, and then calling the store within a year - complaining something isn't right with the mattress. Somehow, over the past ten years or so, they must've gotten five new mattresses from their original purchase.

I don't know any gay male couples or straight couples who go through mattresses so quickly.

by Anonymousreply 91November 17, 2022 3:31 PM

Have we run out of ideas ? It's too soon to run out of ideas !

by Anonymousreply 92November 20, 2022 3:58 AM

I'm saying "what does this remind you of" while stuffing the turkey.

by Anonymousreply 93November 20, 2022 4:06 AM

R41 lmfao. One of the best posts here for sure.

by Anonymousreply 94November 20, 2022 4:54 AM

These anecdotes about the lesbians and mattress warranties. Are dykes stingy/frugal or just always ready to complain?

Considering lesbian bed death, I'm surprised the mattresses need to be exchanged so frequently.

by Anonymousreply 95November 20, 2022 6:42 AM

I’m the unshaven chins, legs, pits, and wildly overgrown beavers that are on full display. My body, MY FORREST!!!!!

I’m also found in most of the food that Sammee and Tylur bring because their homeopathic treatments for treating alopecia are stupid.

by Anonymousreply 96November 20, 2022 7:51 AM

[quote] I’m Barb. I’m the elder Lez who settles all disputes amongst the girls each holiday after I’ve had Turkey. My judgements are strictly followed by everyone in our circle.

The Court of Ellen and Terminer

by Anonymousreply 97November 20, 2022 7:56 AM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 98November 20, 2022 8:23 AM

I’m the stretch pants!

by Anonymousreply 99November 20, 2022 8:28 AM

I'm the U-Haul parked in front of house.

by Anonymousreply 100November 20, 2022 8:44 AM

I'm the talk of the unseasonable warmth for this time of year.

"Hillary could've stopped this"

"You mean Jill Stein"

An awkward silence and then the conversation moves onto Megan Rapinoe.

by Anonymousreply 101November 20, 2022 10:32 AM

I'm the curt reminder that I will be having a showing of my work in January and you are ALL expected to attend. I will be sprinkled liberally into conversation throughout the whole evening.

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by Anonymousreply 102November 20, 2022 10:35 AM

I am this photo. One of the two that spring to mind whenever this event takes place.

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by Anonymousreply 103November 20, 2022 10:38 AM

I am this photo. One of the two that spring to mind whenever this event takes place.

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by Anonymousreply 104November 20, 2022 10:38 AM

Most lesbians I know are either feminine or have a casual look. This sounds more like stereotypical lesbians from 1970s and 80s, when all the feminine ones were invisible, since people thought all lesbians are butch Harley Davidson driving, mullet having ones.

by Anonymousreply 105November 20, 2022 10:40 AM

R105 That's the problem with these threads....there are as many different kinds of lesbian archtypes as there are gay male. The DL being mostly gay male and older has issues with keeping them 'straight' so to speak. They really love to mix up old school dyke types of the mullet wearing/softball playing, beer drinking, blue collar persuasion with the old school militant radical lesbian feminist types who are the ones who tend to be more p.c. and eat nut loaf.

The DL isn't very interested in actual mainstream lesbians who are quite a lot alike mainstream gays....they live in nice boring homes and wear nice boring clothes and have a bit of money and try to take care of themselves and eat right and exercise. But, they're boring and not much fun to make fun of.

by Anonymousreply 106November 20, 2022 10:57 AM

[quote][R105] That's the problem with these threads....there are as many different kinds of lesbian archtypes as there are gay male. The DL being mostly gay male and older has issues with keeping them 'straight' so to speak. They really love to mix up old school dyke types of the mullet wearing/softball playing, beer drinking, blue collar persuasion with the old school militant radical lesbian feminist types who are the ones who tend to be more p.c. and eat nut loaf.

That's what great about this Thanksgiving -- they're all invited!

by Anonymousreply 107November 20, 2022 11:00 AM

I'm the prescription pill bottles in the hall bathroom medicine cabinet. I have every guest's fingerprints on me.

by Anonymousreply 108November 20, 2022 11:09 AM

I'm the softball injury the joint pain that necessitates said pills is attributed to. My weight will have NO BEARING on my joint pain.

by Anonymousreply 109November 20, 2022 11:13 AM

[quote] I’m the 15th iteration of this singularly wit free thread.

I'm the mood of the party the thread must have accurately captured then.

by Anonymousreply 110November 20, 2022 11:31 AM

I'm the petition being passed. Everyone must sign me before dinner can be served.

by Anonymousreply 111November 20, 2022 1:06 PM

I’m the thermostat in the photo at R104, set at a nice, comfortable 58 degrees. Since we’re having company, my owner turned me up from my usual 55 degrees.

by Anonymousreply 112November 20, 2022 1:13 PM

Regarding R104, that photo is the archetypal lesbian get together. Zero interest in fashion, middle aged men's haircuts, stood around talking about power tools or u-hauls.

by Anonymousreply 113November 20, 2022 2:21 PM

If R104 was a still from a movie I'd accuse the director of being unsubtle.

by Anonymousreply 114November 20, 2022 3:31 PM

I'm Rosie, and I'm here to mention our friend Pam from the 90s is opening a new dyke bar tonight, down on Main Street where Pep Boys used to be. I look around the table to see who wants to go - the target audience is 55+ lesbians. We all feign interest and say we should support this newest business venture she's starting, one of a dozen over the past 25 years.

by Anonymousreply 115November 20, 2022 3:46 PM

I'm later in the evening when the girls begrudgingly decamp downtown to the bar. We arrive to discover a loud shouting match in the kitchen, the words 'ADVOCAAT IS COLONIALISM!' scrawled on the walls, and the all-female staff sitting in a protest circle in the middle of the floor chanting something about patriarchy and capitalism.

by Anonymousreply 116November 20, 2022 3:52 PM

I'm the deck that collapses and the drama that ensues afterwards.

2,400 lbs of a dozen dykes collapse the deck that Fran built herself. Half of the dykes launch a lawsuit against Fran and in court reject her legal defense's fatphobic arguments. The other half accuse that half of being patriarchal handmaidens for suing a strong woman who built a deck with no help from a man. The friend group will split down the middle forever.

by Anonymousreply 117November 20, 2022 5:03 PM

I'm R106. I'm the reason stereotypical lesbian threads exist.

by Anonymousreply 118November 20, 2022 5:04 PM

We're the two Eldergays the lesbians invited for dinner

We've been sitting in the corner all night making jokes about nutloaf, Nan Michiganwomyn, vagina capes, Subarus, body hair and Meredith Baxter Lesbian.

We become very offended however, when one of the lesbians asks us who we are rooting for on RuPaul Drag Race this year because why do they assume that all gay men are into the same things?

by Anonymousreply 119November 20, 2022 5:07 PM

[quote]We become very offended however, when one of the lesbians asks us who we are rooting for on RuPaul Drag Race this year because why do they assume that all gay men are into the same things?

No, we don't become offended. We happily discuss how much better this season's Snatch Game than last season's and then laugh at what a hot mess everyone -- including ourselves -- are!

by Anonymousreply 120November 20, 2022 5:10 PM

We're the bloodied and bruised from R117 , crawling off into the dark night because those court orders we've dodged all these years are not going to catch us over some shitty deck fail. Fuck you Capital One!

by Anonymousreply 121November 20, 2022 5:10 PM

I love that R120 is offended by a hypothetical.

by Anonymousreply 122November 20, 2022 5:12 PM

I'm the potluck math: every dyke thinks it's acceptable to bring five pounds worth of food, yet expects to consume ten pounds worth of food.

by Anonymousreply 123November 20, 2022 5:14 PM

I'm the irony of R105 bemoaning supposedly non-existent stereotypes beneath that photo at R104.

by Anonymousreply 124November 20, 2022 5:18 PM

I'm meat. I'm allowed but you're not allowed to actually enjoy me or suggest I'm superior superior to vegetarian alternatives. It would probably be easier if I went back to being disallowed at this annual shindig as I was from 1994-1998 and 2008-2019.

by Anonymousreply 125November 20, 2022 5:23 PM

I am the cans of La Croix.

by Anonymousreply 126November 20, 2022 5:53 PM

I'm Steve, the host's 50-something younger brother who stops by for dessert every year. I've been through three marriages and five kids so far. I've been working security down at the hospital for the past 27 years, and on Thanksgiving I work 7 - 7. I had a free turkey dinner in the cafeteria, and now I stop by for coffee and pie. And every year, I ask "Any of you women find a guy to marry you this year ?" never adept at reading the room.

by Anonymousreply 127November 20, 2022 7:28 PM

Safeway flavored seltzer, R126.

by Anonymousreply 128November 20, 2022 7:36 PM

Serious question. Why are they wearing parkas INSIDE the house at R104?

by Anonymousreply 129November 20, 2022 7:48 PM

To avoid the male gaze.

by Anonymousreply 130November 20, 2022 7:51 PM

r129 see r112

by Anonymousreply 131November 20, 2022 7:59 PM

I'm the lies about any and every thing.

by Anonymousreply 132November 21, 2022 5:47 AM

I'm the smell of fish.

(Fish is not on the menu)

by Anonymousreply 133November 21, 2022 5:52 AM

I’m the carb heavy menu which is tackled with relish & abandon

by Anonymousreply 134November 21, 2022 7:50 AM

^I’m the thick fatted Graxy that weaponizes said fare

by Anonymousreply 135November 21, 2022 7:55 AM

I'm the furious lesbian posting on Datalounge in the middle of dinner. "So hypocritical. Can you imagine if we made jokes about gay men!"

Clueless to the fact that gay men would be the first to join in making jokes about gay men.

by Anonymousreply 136November 21, 2022 8:13 AM

I'm the health ailments which dominate conversation. Trick knees, fibro, Morgellon's, CFS, and, most of all, gallstones... which lesbians get at a higher rate than straight women.

by Anonymousreply 137November 21, 2022 8:15 AM

Question. Just curious. For you hard core lesbians, if you see an image of a vagina do you get throbbing clitoris?

Would you eat out a passed out straight drunk woman whom you have the hots for? I.e. she’ll never know.

Would you force sex in prison?

Just curious…

(Honest answers from lesbians, sil vous plait…).

by Anonymousreply 138November 21, 2022 8:23 AM

To follow up: is it a moral quagmire to take advantage of a person whom you strongly believe are victimized by the male population as it is already?

by Anonymousreply 139November 21, 2022 8:25 AM

Wish most lesbians were like DL describes them. And not usually the coolest chicks. Then I wouldn't constantly falling for them.

by Anonymousreply 140November 21, 2022 8:28 AM

Who wouldn't fall for someone you could share tools and work boots with?

by Anonymousreply 141November 21, 2022 9:09 AM

Snort. Gay men are notoriously thin skinned about being the object of any kind of ridicule.

Now, many gay men enjoy ragging on anyone they feel SUPERIOR to....including other gay men not up to their standards.

But, if you made fun of your average snotty 20something/ 30something to their face they're either going to get defensive and mean and bitchy and retaliate quite viciously or fall apart and leave the room in tears.

by Anonymousreply 142November 21, 2022 9:39 AM

"Now, many gay men enjoy ragging on anyone they feel SUPERIOR to....including other gay men not up to their standards."

Good thing you're on this thread R142 , because that's not what's happening here.

We're ragging on Lesbians and their Thanksgiving hilarity.

by Anonymousreply 143November 21, 2022 9:55 AM

I'm the straight women they invite who never come.

by Anonymousreply 144November 21, 2022 9:57 AM

I see the Daughters of Bilitis has arrived. Bizarre that you’re here complaining about gay men. Have you ever met one? No, your family members don’t count, nor does anyone you met pre-Stonewall.

by Anonymousreply 145November 21, 2022 9:58 AM

Really, R127? He goes to a lesbian Thanksgiving EVERY year, has a sister who is a lesbian......and he doesn't know they are all LESBIANS.

by Anonymousreply 146November 21, 2022 10:30 AM

R142 = the truest stereotype on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 147November 21, 2022 10:33 AM

I love the open box of cookies @ R104. The cookies still in the package insert, sitting on top of the box. The host at that gathering really doesn't have any fucks to give. LOL.

by Anonymousreply 148November 21, 2022 10:35 AM

I’m Barb

by Anonymousreply 149November 21, 2022 10:43 AM

Order of supremacy in R104

Second from right

First from left

Third from right

Second from left

First from right

by Anonymousreply 150November 21, 2022 12:03 PM

[quote]sil vous plait…).

Oh dear!!!

by Anonymousreply 151November 21, 2022 12:17 PM

So they finally let Big Patty Krenwinkle out

by Anonymousreply 152November 21, 2022 12:21 PM

I'm the five foot, 2012 Justin Bieber lookalike with a tattoo sleeve and various minor misdemeanor convictions. My age is uncertain. I could be fourteen or forty. By the end of this evening some of the silverware will be missing. I will be responsible.

by Anonymousreply 153November 21, 2022 12:25 PM

I am the boundaries that have been clearly stated

by Anonymousreply 154November 21, 2022 12:34 PM

[quote] Clueless to the fact that gay men would be the first to join in making jokes about gay men to prove that they, in fact, are superior to, and unlike most gay men, who are, after all, a bunch of hopeless sissies and flaming harpies who probably should just have transed


by Anonymousreply 155November 21, 2022 12:35 PM

R141 Because lesbians that you are talking about here make maybe 10% of the lesbian population. The majority of them are the coolest chicks

by Anonymousreply 156November 21, 2022 12:40 PM

I'm walking on broken glass -- in reference to both the Annie Lennox song that is playing in the background and the general atmosphere of the party.

(And later the literal broken beer bottles following the scuffle on the deck)

by Anonymousreply 157November 21, 2022 12:42 PM

R150 Jesus, you sound like me when I was explaining to my mother what social hierarchy rank her pack of 5 horses and ponies had. (Except it's much easier to tell - it's the order in which they got to eat from the food bucket that tells it.)

by Anonymousreply 158November 21, 2022 12:43 PM

The best thing about these threads is that the stereotypes Eldergays have about lesbians and straight men are remarkably similar.

by Anonymousreply 159November 21, 2022 12:44 PM

I'm the acoustic guitar the guests spot sitting by the fireplace and internally groan at as they enter.

by Anonymousreply 160November 21, 2022 12:45 PM

I'm the one who hasn't been vegan for a decade. I keep up the pretense when I see the girls here once a year though. I'm too embarrassed at my previous stridency to back down from it. I will be hitting up KFC on the way home.

by Anonymousreply 161November 21, 2022 12:49 PM

I'm all the clutter guests have to move to make room on to sit down on the couch: thirty year old psychology textbooks, a cat or two, pruning shears, and a beaded car seat cover.

by Anonymousreply 162November 21, 2022 12:52 PM

I'm R156 sharing lots of judgement of what others post, but no clever retorts to dispel any of it.

by Anonymousreply 163November 21, 2022 12:55 PM

I'm the one who managed to write a journal article about the evening.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 164November 21, 2022 1:00 PM

No answers?

by Anonymousreply 165November 21, 2022 1:12 PM

my dinner with andre (a non-binary queer friend)

by Anonymousreply 166November 21, 2022 1:16 PM

Lesbians are cowardly hypocrites that perpetuate male dominance and envy male sexual prowess. That’s all I can deduce now due to non-response to probing questions.

When it comes down to sexual issues, it seems lesbians are similar to male proclivities.

by Anonymousreply 167November 21, 2022 1:32 PM

R163 Are you touched in the head? Don't answer.

by Anonymousreply 168November 21, 2022 2:02 PM

Fun thread, regardless. Continue..

by Anonymousreply 169November 21, 2022 2:10 PM

R156 nice try Trixie, I’m having toooo much fun 🤩 to guilt trip me! you can go back to blowing Fred(also a lesbian, 2nd from right)

Just because we make fun of them, doesn’t mean they aren’t cool 😎 chicks

by Anonymousreply 170November 21, 2022 2:26 PM

I'm the quick, furtive glances thrown around constantly.

by Anonymousreply 171November 21, 2022 2:39 PM

‘nice try Ethel’ just didn’t have any melody 🎶

by Anonymousreply 172November 21, 2022 2:40 PM

I can’t believe no one’s talking about Krenwinkle’s jailbreak considering what hell Kasabian’s parole brings up

by Anonymousreply 173November 21, 2022 2:47 PM

I am the Album covers of Tori Amos hung up on the wall. I am the listening to Raspberry Swirl by Tori Amos.

by Anonymousreply 174November 21, 2022 2:56 PM

I'm Greta, the owner / operator of "Fantastic Sam's" about a mile down the road. I gave these twelve women the same $10.99 Flowbee "special" the past three days at the salon. This is why they all have the same haircut, though in different shades of silver and gray.

by Anonymousreply 175November 21, 2022 3:53 PM

I'm tears, screaming, hard-flung Joni Mitchell cassettes, and shattered breast casts that mark the evening's end.

by Anonymousreply 176November 21, 2022 3:59 PM

I'm the topics of conversation: toxic shock syndrome, WNBA, and cat care.

by Anonymousreply 177November 21, 2022 4:29 PM

I've been in this thread so long that my period is synchronizing with those dykes.

by Anonymousreply 178November 21, 2022 5:17 PM

[quote]I don't know any gay male couples or straight couples who go through mattresses so quickly.

Is that what is meant by "lesbian bed death?"

by Anonymousreply 179November 21, 2022 5:18 PM

I'm the copy of "Rubyfruit Jungle" still on the coffee table from last Christmas. Everyone pretends to have read me, but still nobody has.

by Anonymousreply 180November 21, 2022 5:20 PM

I'm the intense, intense planning in the groupchat before the event. Thousands of messages are exchanged discussing who's bring what, who's allergic to what, and any other special requirements or 'boundaries' that might be relevant.

Less planning went into D-Day.

by Anonymousreply 181November 21, 2022 5:41 PM

I'm the autographed poster of Leather Tuscadero in the bathroom.

"To some "cool chicks" love, Suzi"

by Anonymousreply 182November 21, 2022 5:56 PM

r53 Thanks for posting that. Now THAT thread was funny. This one is painfully blah.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 183November 21, 2022 7:01 PM

Lesbian threads usually lose zest when a lesbian comes along to say 'That's not funny!'

The 2018 thread was an outlier in relatively little of that. This one had a lesbian arrive at R8 so it never stood a chance.

by Anonymousreply 184November 21, 2022 7:10 PM

Gay men don't like to criticize lesbians. There's a weird unreciprocated deference to them among some gay men and it goes to not liking to make even light-hearted kidding like on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 185November 21, 2022 7:11 PM

I'm laughing at r61s implication that the rescue dyke has Munchausen by proxy, except for a bird. I guess it's plausible.

by Anonymousreply 186November 21, 2022 7:17 PM

I'm laughing at R185 .

by Anonymousreply 187November 21, 2022 7:30 PM

R185 what? Gay men constantly criticize lesbians, it's lesbians who never go after gay men. And these threads definitely go beyond light kidding, though they are very funny

by Anonymousreply 188November 21, 2022 8:03 PM

Many of Datalounge's most homophobic posters are lesbians.

by Anonymousreply 189November 21, 2022 8:12 PM

I'm the one who has a friend who has a friend who has a friend who has a friend who knows Tabatha Coffey and I invited her to Thanksgiving dinner here with us. Tabatha never responded. We should keep a place setting at the table just in case she does show up.

by Anonymousreply 190November 21, 2022 8:24 PM

I make a toast to Rachel Maddow before dinner begins, and lament on her Monday night schedule for MSNBC. We all place bets on whether Symone will leave her husband for a woman by the end of next year.

by Anonymousreply 191November 22, 2022 1:52 AM

R188 I'm snorting at your assumption that lesbians don't make fun of gay men.

Of course they do! Why wouldn't they?

Gay men are RIDICULOUS!

by Anonymousreply 192November 22, 2022 5:05 AM

I'm Claire bringing dessert.

You'll never guess what it is!

by Anonymousreply 193November 22, 2022 10:40 AM

I'm Eve, Gail's biological 20-something daughter she had when she tried heterosexuality in her 30s. I'm here to support my mother and her friends, and to announce I'm sexually fluid. I wear the "Free Iran" tee shirt in solidarity with those women, as well as the "one love" armband. The other women look at me 'dismissively'.

by Anonymousreply 194November 22, 2022 1:26 PM

I'm the fact that, no matter what the drama, the misunderstandings and the past, the women at the table are truly glad to be together grateful for their fellowship.

Even if Mary Mack doesn't know shit about carving a turkey.

by Anonymousreply 195November 22, 2022 1:31 PM

Late for the kickoff.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 196November 22, 2022 4:52 PM

Link not working, R196.

by Anonymousreply 197November 22, 2022 4:56 PM

I’m Barb. I always get the first plate. I always get the best cut of meat. I always get the warm roll. I always get the refill of Dr. Pepper. I always start the conversation. Nobody gets up from the table until I’ve finished my first plate. I never clean the table. I never do the dishes. The tv gets turned on to my channel and my program.

I never say goodbye, the girls say goodbye to me.

by Anonymousreply 198November 22, 2022 8:08 PM

Barb better be filthy rich.....and generous.

by Anonymousreply 199November 22, 2022 8:21 PM

Who invited Barb?!!!!

by Anonymousreply 200November 22, 2022 8:55 PM

I’m Margie. I’m the Elderlez who—after her third beer—insists on playing her “K.D. Lang’s Greatest Hits” playlist through the house speakers and will play nothing else for the rest of the evening.

by Anonymousreply 201November 22, 2022 8:55 PM

I'm Kristen Stewart....

Just kidding! But I made you all look!

by Anonymousreply 202November 23, 2022 3:22 AM

I’m the Maga loon hiding in the shrubs at this big dyke party ready to get my 15 minutes of fame.

by Anonymousreply 203November 23, 2022 6:21 AM

Was Joan Crawford the Barb of her day?

by Anonymousreply 204November 23, 2022 6:24 AM

I'm James Coburn, here to research a new role

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 205November 23, 2022 7:43 AM

I’m the house mittens Harold wears on all four paws when he visits. He’s not allowed near the mountain of Cole Haan and Camper shoes at the entryway. His outdoor mittens are parked over there.

by Anonymousreply 206November 23, 2022 7:49 AM

I'm the formerly straight one who one day woke up and decided she was a lesbian. I've brought along the two kids from my now-dissolved marriage. The little girl is fawned over. The little boy is banished to a table in the garage.

by Anonymousreply 207November 23, 2022 7:53 AM

I'm 10 pm when 'Big Boned Gal' by kd lang comes on. All the girls begin encouraging each other to get up and dance as they all sing along.

by Anonymousreply 208November 23, 2022 8:00 AM

I'm the OP getting suffocated by huge 500 pound Bertha from Alabama. She didn't know she sat on you.

by Anonymousreply 209November 23, 2022 8:02 AM

I'm the expelled gas after the legume heavy dinner. Don't like my smell? You'll be accused of loathing womyn's bodies.

by Anonymousreply 210November 23, 2022 1:31 PM

I'm the shigella outbreak

by Anonymousreply 211November 23, 2022 1:31 PM

I'm the hot tub they all squeeze into after dinner.

Squeeze being the operative word.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 212November 23, 2022 2:07 PM

I'm Terry, another Elderlez who is trying to gather the girls for 'midnight bowling' tonight, instead of hitting the shopping outlets for Black Friday.

by Anonymousreply 213November 23, 2022 2:18 PM

Have we achieved lesbian thread death?

by Anonymousreply 214November 24, 2022 8:54 AM

I'm the logic puzzle of seating guests: Pam can't be seated beside Deb beside Deb hasn't apologized for what she did in 2004; Kel can't be seated beside her ex Kelly or Kelly's new girlfriend, Kellie; Fran requires additional space on each side; Kim insists on being seated across from Kris who is The One (having known her for three days).

Where can Nan sit?

by Anonymousreply 215November 24, 2022 9:24 AM

I’m the inevitable “what’s THAT supposed to mean?” that will devolve the evening.

by Anonymousreply 216November 24, 2022 11:41 AM

I'm the loaded response: "[italic]You should know[/italic]"

by Anonymousreply 217November 24, 2022 11:42 AM

I’m the dream catcher on the rear view mirrors of every one at r5.

by Anonymousreply 218November 24, 2022 11:43 AM

R215 Has seen every Golden Girls episode 100 times. It has sharpened her wit and then some. She finds the tea rather moist as well.

by Anonymousreply 219November 24, 2022 12:00 PM

I’m the rescue dog eating the Turkey while the guests argue

by Anonymousreply 220November 24, 2022 12:11 PM

I’m nearly-70 years old Ida, who even though she hadn’t had an orgasm with someone in nearly 20 years, swears that she “can still do sex”. If only Cricket would respond to her flirtations.

by Anonymousreply 221November 24, 2022 12:13 PM

[quote]Where can Nan sit?

My face, of course.

by Anonymousreply 222November 24, 2022 12:15 PM

I'm the Cowboys game on the big screen.

I'm ostensibly a big part of the yearly celebration, but in reality only Rusty and Alice are watching me, parked on the couch in their Dallas jerseys, screaming at the TV.

The others ignore me, because only real, true, honest-to-God bull dykes, like Rusty and Alice, actually watch football. The rest of them are a bunch of posers who can't even install a toilet or switch out an alternator.

by Anonymousreply 223November 24, 2022 12:41 PM

I’m “this is a Friendsgiving,” which someone at some time will feel they MUST say. *sigh*

by Anonymousreply 224November 24, 2022 3:43 PM

I'm each of them vying for the opportunity to be the first to launch into a withering critique of the misogynistic colonialism of Pilgrims. Just need to wait for the right moment so it isn't so obvious I rehearsed what I was going to say beforehand.

by Anonymousreply 225November 24, 2022 4:23 PM

I’m Helen. I’ve had a little too much even at this early hour. I’m “taking a nap” (read: passed out) on the couch where I’m mumbling something-something ‘misogyny’ and something-something ‘patriarchy’ between burps.

by Anonymousreply 226November 24, 2022 5:36 PM

I'm the cornhole game being played raucously by the neighbors. All we have over here is the dog's frisbee and Trivial Pursuit.

by Anonymousreply 227November 24, 2022 5:41 PM

I'm the annual queefing contest!

Who will be crowned this year's "Queen Laqueefa"?

by Anonymousreply 228November 24, 2022 5:45 PM

I'm the one person at the table who brought a small turkey breast because I eat meat everyone else is vociferously "vegan" and the I'm the one person at the table who didn't get any.

It never made it to the table.

And the rest of the food is getting cold because there are lines at the two bathroom doors as the other guests and hosts purge the shameful meat and crispy skin from their offended gullets.

Little Eve is crying with guilt for eating a birdy.

I told the hosts an Everclear punch before dinner was a bad idea.

by Anonymousreply 229November 24, 2022 5:54 PM

I'm the hackneyed phrases in defense of pitbulls: "Not if you raise them right"; "bad owners, not bad dogs"; etc...

The guests nod along while always keeping an eye on the nearest exit wherever the brute-faced Susan B. happens to be.

by Anonymousreply 230November 24, 2022 7:19 PM
Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 231November 24, 2022 7:24 PM

Hearing the obligatory "Defense of the Pittys," we are the several owners of Pomeranians, Lhasa Apsos, Chihuahuas and Toy PugTeseCockapoos who are pursing their lips in a flat lipless line, the way many lesbians do to show they're holding their tongues, "BUT..."

We are joined today by Meg'-h'AnnE, who works in a Ghetto Rat Home & Sanctuary for rats injured by stray cats and especially dogs, almost all of which are pit bull mixes today.

And Meg'-h'AnnE is thinking, "... because people who have these and other potentially dangerous breeds that require special training and management are the assholes who have made the problems. And in the end it's the innocent Norway and black rats who suffer, when all they want is love.

by Anonymousreply 232November 24, 2022 7:45 PM

I'm Haley (Mary Lee's new, young, plus-one she met in September) , and at the end of the dinner I have the nerve to ask, "Who's turn is it hosting Christmas dinner this year ? "

by Anonymousreply 233November 24, 2022 7:55 PM

I'm the phone alarms going off throughout the evening reminding the fat and old group to take their meds.

by Anonymousreply 234November 24, 2022 8:08 PM

I'm the decision to get out of the patriarchal kitchen and enjoy Thanksgiving at a restaurant.

When the bill comes scientific calculators and Excel phone apps are whipped out.

by Anonymousreply 235November 24, 2022 8:09 PM

I’m the mess in the kitchen. I can wait until tomorrow or even Saturday.

by Anonymousreply 236November 24, 2022 9:19 PM

I’m Cahrwyn and I’m in charge of compost. Carol, your greens have avocado oil on them and have to go in with dairy contamination because you won’t let me use anymore bins!

by Anonymousreply 237November 24, 2022 10:01 PM

I am the ~350 days until the next iteration of this thread comes out with "fresh" content!

by Anonymousreply 238November 25, 2022 4:05 AM

I'm the mobility scooters (multiple) parked outside

by Anonymousreply 239November 25, 2022 7:46 AM

If most lez turds are vegan why are most of them so vociferously huge/obese with horrible skin.

by Anonymousreply 240November 25, 2022 8:20 AM

[quote]If most lez turds are vegan why are most of them so vociferously huge/obese with horrible skin.

This question has been asked a million times and has never been answered.

It's a mystery for the ages.

by Anonymousreply 241November 25, 2022 9:09 AM

I’m the cat hair in all the dishes.

by Anonymousreply 242November 25, 2022 3:59 PM

[quote]I’m the cat hair in all the dishes.

It complements the pussy hair in all of the teeth.

by Anonymousreply 243November 25, 2022 4:12 PM

I'm Kristen the professional cat sitter. I was late for the dinner because I had to check on half of my kitty clients whose families were out of town this weekend, and I had to leave before the pies were served because I had to go and take care of my other half of kitty clients around town - changing the litter boxes and putting the food down. I'm lucky because I missed all the pre-dinner drama and the after-dinner drama.

by Anonymousreply 244November 25, 2022 5:45 PM

So much pent up aggression in R205's pic

by Anonymousreply 245November 25, 2022 8:15 PM

R235 for the win!!!!!

Never was a joke more true.

by Anonymousreply 246November 25, 2022 8:21 PM

Why are lesbians so stingy? What is it about them?

Gay men can be more flippant with their finances- I'm thinking of all those Tasteful Friends homos.

by Anonymousreply 247November 25, 2022 8:57 PM

Women earn less money than men r247.

by Anonymousreply 248November 25, 2022 9:03 PM

Yes, perhaps but that doesn't answer my question which focusses on lesbians.

Straight women might earn less than men but they SPEND SPEND SPEND.

There's something so stingy and tight when it comes to lesbians and money.

by Anonymousreply 249November 25, 2022 9:11 PM

I’m the woe that is me. Constantly.

by Anonymousreply 250November 25, 2022 9:18 PM

I'm the collection of footware tossed in the dryer to remove the smutch and provide perfect audible cover for the smut taking place as two cheaters make the best (you ever make love on top of a dryer with twenty pairs of orthopedic shoes, boots and birkstockings shaking under your derriere?) of these holidays gatherings unbeknownst to all.

by Anonymousreply 251November 25, 2022 10:22 PM

r248 Most females are drawn to shitty majors, in turn, shitty jobs.. We could say a lot of this is related to having significantly less testosterone and so, most lack that fighting edge that motivates most men to compete. They have to rely on will, drive, other motivators. They're less likely to work overtime, to seek out promotions, and tend too stay too long in the same companies, males ar more likely to pick up and go regardless of family or hustle, hustle, hustle, and whatever it takes to continue to move forward. Most females settle for the first plateau. The biggest trouble for women is the bucket of crabs analogy. . . the crabs can escape the bucket but there's always one behind them trying to pull them back into the bucket. You can examine this through multiple media, research and studies. I'd recommend those male vs female survival competitions. They frequently overestimate their abilities because most have grown up coddled in a girl power world that still treats them with kids gloves. We all know crusty old dykes that are worth ten men but often they're stuck in the bucket too. Those that get out often repress a lot of shit, end up with more social and financial cred but end up with a lot of the risks men have from working themselves to early retirement or death.

by Anonymousreply 252November 25, 2022 10:38 PM

[quote]I'm the collection of footware tossed in the dryer to remove the smutch

Eeeew, disgusting.

by Anonymousreply 253November 25, 2022 10:41 PM

R252 women will never be happy and they’ll try their damnedest to make sure men are not happy either.

by Anonymousreply 254November 25, 2022 10:45 PM

R252 But don't lesbians have more testosterone than straight women, and by that logic should be more successful and make more money?

by Anonymousreply 255November 25, 2022 11:33 PM

If y’all are going to go completely off topic, women make less than men on average at the same job with the same education level and performing at the same level even before you see monetary losses from behavior such as taking time off to raise children.

Straight women generally have or hope to have some straight man to bail out their poor financial choices.

And lesbians on average have better math skills than straight ladies so not only are they going to tip poorly, they are going to do precisely and fairly.

Which is how demographic averages and gross generalizations result in a funny joke. Don’t try to analyze it too much. It was probably the only one worth keeping on this thread.

by Anonymousreply 256November 25, 2022 11:45 PM

[quote] I’m the woe that is me. Constantly.

I read this as “I’m the woke that is me,” which also works.

by Anonymousreply 257November 26, 2022 1:55 AM

Mostly all the lesbians I know are in well-paying jobs in the health field (nurses, doctors, PAs, NPs, medical researchers, therapists, etc) and in the financial industry. I honestly don't know one who is hurting (unlike my gay male friends).

by Anonymousreply 258November 26, 2022 2:07 AM

We're the uninhibited and highly audible post-dinner farts. We are even more uproarious than the slighter silent killers that occur while everyone's still at the table eating (or just drinking).

by Anonymousreply 259November 26, 2022 3:52 AM

I'm the hilarious bad-asses who are amazing conversationalists.

by Anonymousreply 260November 26, 2022 4:29 AM

R258 Fuck off with your lies. Most lezzies are poor and work shit jobs. That is a well known fact.

by Anonymousreply 261November 26, 2022 6:39 AM

Now that Thanksgiving is over the drama will finally begin in earnest. I will be these:

I'm the Blogspot blog that has gone untouched since 2010, but is now suddenly active again with long passive-aggressive essays that start "I don't know if anybody is even reading this, but I just have to put it down somewhere..."


I'm the dissertation-length email June finally sent to the attendees after ruminating increasingly angrily on the events of the party for 9 days.

Each time she ran over them in her head, she found more obvious proof that everyone was in the wrong but her, and she was unfairly ganged up on. The email consists of several long, aggrieved introductory paragraphs, laced with barbed sarcasm, followed by a numbered outline list. Each numbered grievance has several bulleted subsections. All the attendees are individually named, shamed, and thoroughly blamed.

None of the recipients remember any problems or unpleasantness with June at the actual party. "She seemed to be having a great time," Jak tells Mo when they discuss it on the phone. "She was smiling and laughing when she left. I don't get it."


I'm the passive-aggressive, six thousand word Wordpress blog post written by the one who claimed to have had a great time at the BBQ. I was written the second she got home and I feature nothing but barely veiled allusions to every imagined slight my authoress thinks she experienced at the party. I have a title like 'On Toxic People' and by the following day I have been read by everyone in attendance last night after Marj linked Deb's blog to Sue who sent it to Nan who sent it to Nicki and so on.

I begin with the line, 'Okay, I just need to vent about *some* people...'

by Anonymousreply 262November 26, 2022 1:37 PM

We're your hosts, Jan and Diane who have just read through every vitriolic blog post, email, and group text message each of our ungrateful guests have circulated in the past twenty-four hours. So now you're saying you don't like the pies Jan spent all night baking, even though each of you scoffed down two slices of each over coffee. Another one of you ladies didn't like the choice of wine (a gift for our tenth wedding anniversary we shared with you all), and someone else was offended by the home-made stuffing Jan made, taken from her recently deceased Mother's cookbook.

Well, screw all of you. We are never hosting a holiday meal for you bitches again. None of you are welcome in our beautiful home ever again. And don't try to invite us to anyone's gathering this Christmas - we're taking off for a quiet little weekend in Northampton, MA - where we know we'll be appreciated and accepted.

by Anonymousreply 263November 26, 2022 6:10 PM

And to lick your open wounds/gashes

by Anonymousreply 264November 26, 2022 6:18 PM

Cathy Cross and Sylvesters are both closed forever. Holidays in Northampton will never be the same R263.

by Anonymousreply 265November 26, 2022 9:02 PM

r255 re-examine developmental literature and videos

look at the biological changes at different stages of life. . .

the whole picture instead of just hormones,

though the hormonal surge in the stage of puberty does leave most males to be more competitive, quicker and longer sustaining muscle growth, and far more head into the trades or take on pragmatic majors.

Still, there's a greater number of women with graduate degrees.

while you do find many lesbian tradies as well. . . the majority follow suit with other females in white and pink collar jobs.

feminist theory has many theories about the wage gap and often tries to conflate international stats to explain western conflicts as if it's still relevant in the first world than addressing the immediate problems, even sans it's reluctancy to recognize the innate biological differences between males and females, onto the psychological and social.

It's hardly surprising that many of the most independently successful women don't consider themselves feminists.

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 266November 27, 2022 3:22 AM

R266 posted by a lesbian.

How do we know?!

by Anonymousreply 267November 27, 2022 11:22 AM

R266 No one gives a fuck what you just said. Especially on a site meant for gay men only. Take your lezbo crap somewhere else.

by Anonymousreply 268November 27, 2022 12:17 PM

I’m Loretta, getting ideas with the turkey baster.

by Anonymousreply 269November 27, 2022 12:23 PM

I'm the sink full of dirty dishes, four days later. I'm gonna be here a while.

by Anonymousreply 270November 27, 2022 12:37 PM

I'm the clogged toilet(s).

by Anonymousreply 271November 27, 2022 12:42 PM

I'm the ex who claimed she was too drunk to drive home and spent the night on the couch.

I am still here four days later.

by Anonymousreply 272November 27, 2022 12:47 PM

[quote]I am still here four days later.

Corrected: I am still here four YEARS later.

by Anonymousreply 273November 27, 2022 3:33 PM

My uhaul is parked outside too.

by Anonymousreply 274November 27, 2022 3:41 PM

OMG! R272 and R273 are SO on point.

by Anonymousreply 275November 27, 2022 3:45 PM

I'm Monica. I brought the other tofurkey but I made everything from scratch unlike the one that Pam brought which was pre-made at Whole Foods with that awful, bland mushroom gravy. She didn't even season it. It tastes like a sodden glove left out in the rain! I made mine with tofu and seiten that I made with my own hands! That's why I'm wearing my carpal tunnel glove and a compression sleeve on my elbow! It took 6 hours total! I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO IT BECAUSE NO ONE GIVES A FUCK ANYWAY! THEY'LL EAT PAM'S NASTY SHIT, EVERYONE LOVES PAM, EVERYBODY WANTS TO FUCK PAM BUT THAT BITCH WON'T EVEN LOOK AT ME! Fuck it, I'm having a rum and Coke. I hope these bitches choke to death on Pam's dried up tofurkey.


by Anonymousreply 276November 27, 2022 4:42 PM

I’m the addict Dyke who empties your medicine cabinet and wallet.

by Anonymousreply 277November 27, 2022 5:00 PM

I’m the pathological lying.

by Anonymousreply 278November 27, 2022 5:00 PM

Zooey Deschanel and untouched trust fund.

by Anonymousreply 279November 27, 2022 5:11 PM

R266 they say they aren’t feminists but they stand on the shoulders of the achievements and struggles and hard fought breakthroughs of centuries of feminists

by Anonymousreply 280November 29, 2022 12:41 PM
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