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When do you report possible child abuse?

I’ve heard quiet weeping from the apartment building next door at all hours of the night and day. Not my complex but the one next to us. I’m a nosey Parker so I’ve walked around it. I’ve heard the mother, or whatever she is, speaking matter-of-factly about “oh stop it, you’re all right” and tonight telling said child (or person whatever) not to do something overnight, couldn’t hear exactly what. Been about a month or longer since I noticed this weird weeping. It’s just so odd and I may be the only one around and about at odd hours with my dog hearing it. When I lived in Baltimore 20+ years ago a little girl was starved to death by her mother, sister, and sister’s boyfriend, in front of everyone and her school. What would you do?

by Anonymousreply 53November 25, 2022 11:22 PM

Call and report it. They probably won't do anything but you need to start a record - and don't let it drop.

by Anonymousreply 1November 3, 2022 7:51 AM

Agree with R1. It might be nothing serious, but in the event that something terrible happens how much worse would you feel knowing that you'd done nothing?

by Anonymousreply 2November 3, 2022 7:53 AM

There’s no harm in reporting, OP, but there’s every harm in not.

Last year I called the police when I noticed a child in a locked car next to mine for about 10 minutes outside a shopping strip. I wouldn’t have noticed unless it had not been a particularly hot day and if the parent had an accident inside the centre the child would have fried. I didn’t have to stick around and left once the cops pulled up sirens blazing 3 minutes later at the same time as the father.

by Anonymousreply 3November 3, 2022 7:58 AM

Perhaps it is the work of a foreign faction? Best report it.

by Anonymousreply 4November 3, 2022 8:00 AM
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by Anonymousreply 5November 3, 2022 8:01 AM

Gather whatever information you have (the address, etc.) and just call. If it turns out your wrong it won’t hurt anything… if it turns out you’re right it will make a huge difference. Like others have said, they still might not do anything anyway.

by Anonymousreply 6November 3, 2022 8:01 AM

I wouldn’t bother, OP. Sounds pretty normal to me.

by Anonymousreply 7November 3, 2022 8:13 AM

Thank you all. Will slip inside complex tommorrow to get building number and Apt # as close as I can. It’s gated but slack, kinda like mine. I Iive in a redneck town and the sheriffs dept is the “law” right up the street. They are notoriously non-reactive to any kind of domestic violence call, as I’ve experienced from reporting my neighbor’s wife screaming for help for 10 minutes and the 911 operator hearing it as it happened but trying to negate it as me being an hysteric.

by Anonymousreply 8November 3, 2022 8:22 AM

If you local LE is generally unresponsive, call in CPS and report it. Call a state agency, call a children's advocacy group, GET HELP. Don't just say 'oh well....' and wait for worse to happen.

If you want it investigated, make sure that it is investigated. Who else is there to reach out and help that child? Crying all day and night is not normal behavior. Get off of your ass and DO SOMETHING.

by Anonymousreply 9November 3, 2022 10:55 PM

Many jobs and professions have a legal responsibility to report suspected child abuse. Here are federal and state info you may find helpful.

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by Anonymousreply 10November 3, 2022 11:09 PM

According to the info linked in above, 18 states require residents to report suspected child abuse. The state laws are listed in the link.

by Anonymousreply 11November 3, 2022 11:11 PM

[quote]I’ve heard the mother, or whatever she is, speaking matter-of-factly about “oh stop it, you’re all right” and tonight telling said child (or person whatever) not to do something overnight, couldn’t hear exactly what. Been about a month or longer since I noticed this weird weeping. It’s just so odd and I may be the only one around and about at odd hours with my dog hearing it.

OP, have you never been in a position where you've had to care for children in any capacity whatsoever? Maybe it's the way you're explaining it, but this specific portion doesn't sound alarming to me. A child crying and then an adult saying "oh stop it, you're all right" doesn't raise red flags for child abuse to me. Mostly because I had to care for a fair share of kids myself (younger siblings and nieces) and have had incidents where they have screamed bloody murder because I told them they couldn't have McDonald's because I already cooked.

Can you give a little more detail why you suspect child abuse? I assume it's more than just this and the sounds are "alarming" enough, but just this description didn't tip me off, personally. But, yes, as others have stated, your local law enforcement's non-emergency number should suffice to at least document the situation if you're that concerned. I can't say it's not because I don't know exactly what you're hearing.

by Anonymousreply 12November 3, 2022 11:14 PM

^For example...

(But yes, it's nothing wrong with playing it safe OP)

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by Anonymousreply 13November 3, 2022 11:21 PM

I think you should go with your gut. Just make the call.

by Anonymousreply 14November 3, 2022 11:21 PM

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

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by Anonymousreply 15November 3, 2022 11:21 PM

OP is looking for permission to do a "Do he do THIS? Do he do THIS and THIS?!" routine to spice up the peeping hobby. Peeping can be so lonely.

Yes, I think a report should be made. But not the one OP suggests...

by Anonymousreply 16November 3, 2022 11:24 PM

If you think it, report it. I have been on both sides- I remember every single person who knew and did nothing when I was a kid. I also had calls on me as a parent and I was like 'yay, you're doing your job!' because I was doing nothing wrong (teen parents get calls about them).

by Anonymousreply 17November 3, 2022 11:26 PM

NOW.

by Anonymousreply 18November 3, 2022 11:32 PM

[quote]I also had calls on me as a parent and I was like 'yay, you're doing your job!' because I was doing nothing wrong (teen parents get calls about them).

This is the normal response, I think r17. If a parent gets mad the police were called because of suspicions of child abuse, I'd say it's likely those suspicions are valid. Most people would be happy that the well-being of their child was being considered by the community.

There was an incident in a store where a little girl screamed "stranger danger" as she was being pulled out by a man into the parking lot. It made the news because law enforcement was called and everyone was looking for the identity of the man and the little girl.

Come to find out, the man was her father and she was throwing a tantrum because he wouldn't buy her something in the store. Both parents were glad the cops were called and that their daughter's cries were taken seriously. They obviously had a talk to her about not screaming that when it wasn't true, though.

by Anonymousreply 19November 3, 2022 11:33 PM

I agree r19. I mean, it's scary of course but it can also be an opportunity. I called on myself one time when he was almost 2. I had no friends, no family, no money. He had chronic ear infections and was weening. I was, with no shame admitting it, going to beat the shit out of him if I didn't get help. They sent a visiting nurse, got him into childcare and me into college.

by Anonymousreply 20November 3, 2022 11:42 PM

OP here: Did hotline call to CPS and was relentless. Concerned civilian line never answered in 2 hours 43 minutes. Called mandated reporter hotline with better results. I have been a healthcare worker so I used that to report my concerns. If I was wrong, okay; if others had called before then add my name to list; if a disabled or autistic child and uses those sounds out of need call me A Nosey Parker; if a childcare worker who doesn’t like her job or the kid, the parents or guardians should know it. I talked with 2 neighbors about it and now I’m considered nuts here, but whatever….

by Anonymousreply 21November 24, 2022 6:42 AM

When I was kid and we went to other states on vacation with my family and us kids acted up, mom would tell us it was legal to best children in these far flung places. Somehow us kids believed it.

by Anonymousreply 22November 24, 2022 6:51 AM

Legal to beat the children *** Muriel, get us an edit feature for Christmas

by Anonymousreply 23November 24, 2022 6:52 AM

[quote] Thank you all. ... I Iive in a redneck town and the sheriffs dept is the “law” right up the street. They are notoriously non-reactive to any kind of domestic violence call, as I’ve experienced from reporting my neighbor’s wife screaming for help for 10 minutes and the 911 operator hearing it as it happened but trying to negate it as me being an hysteric.

There is nothing alarming in the OP, quite frankly. And you've reported before and you were told you were being hysterical. Might the problem be on your end? I'm not making any judgments, just positing.

by Anonymousreply 24November 24, 2022 6:59 AM

Nothing about that sounds alarming. It sounds like a toddler whining and the mom doing the right thing by trying to minimize it.

by Anonymousreply 25November 24, 2022 7:05 AM

Turn up the volume of the TV, so you don't have to listen to the annoying alleged "abuses"-- er, um-- which are probably just 'bed-wetting' bad dreams'!

by Anonymousreply 26November 24, 2022 7:07 AM

r26 "Patsy Ramsey", shut it. You keep trying to make the same dumb point and fail. You're an alarmist. Lets all call the cops every time some brat cries. I'm just happy I'm not a breeder.

by Anonymousreply 27November 24, 2022 7:24 AM

Huh? I have no idea what you just said, which means IT WASN'T FUNNY or you're NEW to DL.

You're DEAD TO ME!

by Anonymousreply 28November 24, 2022 7:53 AM

How cliché

by Anonymousreply 29November 24, 2022 8:44 AM

Queerface = not even a 'registered poster" LOLOLOLOL.

Burn in hell, BITCH, (via a DUMPSTER FIRE!)

by Anonymousreply 30November 24, 2022 8:58 AM

r30 "Patsy Ramsey", shouldn't you be sneaking around outside breeder's windows looking for crying babies to report?

by Anonymousreply 31November 24, 2022 6:20 PM

r31 Just give up. You're not funny. Just tiresome. Take an improv class or something, so you can work on your sense of humor, and them come back and try again.

by Anonymousreply 32November 24, 2022 7:37 PM

Patsy, who's trying to be funny? There's nothing hilarious about crying babies. Call Child Protective Services immediately!!! You may save a life!!! The more phone calls to the authorities the better!!! Some squalling brat's life hangs in the balance!!!

by Anonymousreply 33November 24, 2022 7:47 PM

I called social services about a young girl I knew who was obviously severely depressed at ten years of age. Her parents weren't abusing her but they clearly weren't getting her proper help. She was already known to SS and I suspect my call was one of many that helped trigger a counselling (and possibly meds) regime. She's all grown up now and I hear she's fine.

by Anonymousreply 34November 25, 2022 12:46 PM

Better safe than sorry.

Two younger children up the street from where me & my family lived in my teens were being beaten and raped by their stepdad. There weren’t any obvious signs or sounds, the kids were still being fed and clothed well and given toys etc., and so no one in the sleepy otherwise rather upscale and Happy Valley village had an inkling. The kids would tend to act out and cause minor delinquent trouble or otherwise act sullen, so everyone assumed they were just brats.

Chilling to think back and realise the little boy who liked to chuck road gravel at me, while I was dead on my feet and checked out on teen angst while freezing cold waiting for the school bus at 6 in the morning, was actually non-verbally trying to tell me he needed help from someone older outside his family.

by Anonymousreply 35November 25, 2022 3:28 PM

It doesn't even sound like you're 100% sure there's a child inside the residence, OP.

by Anonymousreply 36November 25, 2022 3:37 PM

R36 true, could be an agere Fet situation, in which case you don't want any part of that.

by Anonymousreply 37November 25, 2022 3:40 PM

Do they live on the second floor op?

by Anonymousreply 38November 25, 2022 3:43 PM

Is it Luca?

by Anonymousreply 39November 25, 2022 3:43 PM

Music heals

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by Anonymousreply 40November 25, 2022 3:53 PM

When I hear quite weeping I just roll over and tell the hubs to keep it down!

by Anonymousreply 41November 25, 2022 3:54 PM

Personally I'd have second thoughts - CPS is feckless. If they do anything it could be sending them to foster care which might as well be called the John Wayne Gacy foundation. If they don't do anything the parents will become enraged and escalate the abuse.

by Anonymousreply 42November 25, 2022 4:11 PM

Not all children are little angels, OP.

Sometimes, mommy's little angel deserves a whipping for being daddy's pint-sized harlot.

by Anonymousreply 43November 25, 2022 4:15 PM

Just don’t ask me how I am. Just don’t ask me how I am.

by Anonymousreply 44November 25, 2022 4:23 PM

[quote] Better safe than sorry.

r35 The OP admitted he called 911 about another example of "child abuse" and he was told he was being hysterical.

Stop encouraging this nutjob to make false reports.

by Anonymousreply 45November 25, 2022 6:58 PM

I have reported abuse, OP. It isn't easy to do either, because you just aren't sure. I called the cops on my neighbors because I suspected it. The cops didn't do shit. So I confronted the bitch Mother myself. It wasn't pretty, but it did resolve her fucking mouth from screaming at her whole family night and day. We have to live in this shitty apt for now ( long story), and I've known the Father/ Husband since he was a kid. Their kids are 4yrs and about 5 months old. She screams at that little girl like she is another adult. Horrible and hard to listen to. Call the cops. Tell them you don't want it known that YOU called, they'll respect that. If you feel something is wrong or have heard upsetting things, then call. Do it anonymously though.

by Anonymousreply 46November 25, 2022 7:15 PM

R46 what scares me is what if the cops leave without doing anything and now the dad is so mad he beats that kid even more? It isn't that simple. Doing the right thing can absolutely backfire and do more harm than good.

by Anonymousreply 47November 25, 2022 7:16 PM

It isn't simple at all R 47. I didn't mean to imply that it is. It got to be enough that I couldn't ignore it anymore. I ended up having to confront the Mother myself. That isn't easy or always the right answer either. It just seemed to be the only thing I Could do. It was easier to confront her than to imagine what might be happening. I probably could have handled it better, but I would confront that bitch again. I probably should kept calling the cops, and that's what you should do. Just keep calling and calling. Don't take matters into your own hands. Sorry, if I sound misleading, I'm not trying to be at all.

by Anonymousreply 48November 25, 2022 7:33 PM

[quote] what scares me is what if the cops leave without doing anything and now the dad is so mad he beats that kid even more? It isn't that simple. Doing the right thing can absolutely backfire and do more harm than good.

r47 Or it could be that you should mind your own business and stop assuming things about your neighbors. A parent scolding a child is not abuse.

I can tell you what cops think since I live with one - stop wasting their time because you're bored and have nothing else to do but snoop on your neighbors.

by Anonymousreply 49November 25, 2022 9:37 PM

If you hear something late at night Some kind of trouble, some kind of fight Just don't ask me what it was

by Anonymousreply 50November 25, 2022 9:42 PM
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by Anonymousreply 51November 25, 2022 10:59 PM
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by Anonymousreply 52November 25, 2022 10:59 PM

Is there a father, "or whatever?"

by Anonymousreply 53November 25, 2022 11:22 PM
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