Attn: Fancy DL Gays; What's the Big Deal about the Hamptons?

There are historic village centers, a number of interesting small museums, the beaches (which are lovely, but I prefer them off-season) and some excellent restaurants. The architecture is varied and some of it is extraordinary, but a great deal of it is not publicly accessible or visible from the street. There are enough genuine celebrities present that its reputation as a jet set destination is not wholly illusory, but there's a fair amount of real housewives trash and shitty second-wave yuppies.

Basically, you have to live there to take full advantage of it.

The traffic is awful. I much prefer the north fork or shelter island.

The Hudson River Valley for me.

The schlep alone is not worth it. Yes, it's beautiful and expensive and you can't move during the summer months. Go and see for yourself.

In the Hamptons all seems to breathe freedom and peace, and to make one forget the world and its sad turmoils.

Ugh. No matter what, remember it is Long Island. It’s just a section of Long Island.

It’s great if you have access to a helicopter and a house on the ocean. Otherwise don’t waste your time.

It’s nice, but don’t stand down wind from Ina Garten.

If you aren't "A list" you will find it boring because you will be shut out of all the best parties and events.

It's where Grey Gardens is.

Montauk used to be a middle class Irish American vacation spot and of course a fishing village.

Now it’s something else.

It’s quite beautiful- very affluent of course- a bit of a pain to get to- not for everyone (including me)- but nice to visit as a guest. Not hard to understand it’s charms but it’s a little to close to what I don’t like about affluence, even though I am affluent and grateful to be so, lol. The see and be seen vibe is a bit much. But I’m sure you can live quietly and privately if you want. Nevertheles a bit overrun with the “see” people in season for my tastes.

You need to be S-T-A-U-N-C-H love live there.

Watch out for Liz Grubman reversing in her Merc.

[quote]The Hudson River Valley for me.

I'd take it over the Hamptons too. I'd also take the Berkshires and numerous spots in Northern Michigan or Wisconsin. The US is full of places that are just as nice if you don't care about being seen in the right spot.

A friend worked on a place at the top of Cape Cod and took me out there once - some big finance guy's house - Peter Schiff? Now that was an amazing view.

"even though I am affluent and grateful to be so, lol."

Gurls, smell her!

If you like to swim in human feces, it's the right place for you , OP

No one needs to pay for gas here when Ina's your neighbor!

Anybody who’s anybody is going to the Falklands now.

The Hamptons were wonderful until the 90's when the Hollywood types bought it all up. It transformed almost overnight from a quiet old money playground dotted with working class enclaves into a vastly overpriced Malibu East.

Does anyone remember the Rusty Pots show?

[quote]It transformed almost overnight from a quiet old money playground dotted with working class enclaves into a vastly overpriced Malibu East.

Now they're driving up prices in formerly quiet Northern Michigan counties like Leelanau and Antrim. I'm hoping there will be a housing crash in the next 15 years so I can retire up north.

Well it sure as hell ain't Boca.

I prefer Martha's Vineyard.

I do too r24. I crash at Carly’s house.

OP, you lost me at "my man and I..."

Jill Zarin’s schmatte shop used to sponsor the litter removal for a portion of the highway that goes out that way.

Isn’t Bellport the hot place now?

My Dad grew up in Montauk, my Mom grew up in Amagansett. It's a gorgeous place but it is not tourist friendly. All the beaches from Bridgehampton to Montauk are permit parking only. It has become overbuilt in many places. A very sad upstairs/downstairs vibe pervades the Hamptons now. There is enormous wealth and right along with it you see conspicuous poverty. Mercedes and Range Rovers sit in traffic on Montauk Highway while immigrants with baby strollers and immigrant workers are walking on the shoulder to whoever's home they are either nannying, cleaning, or landscaping. More than half the children in the East Hampton school district are non-English speaking immigrants. My relatives say a third of the people driving in the Hamptons do not have a drivers license. All that poverty overshadows all the wealth with that Marie Antoinette "Let Them Eat Cake" vibe. It's so depressing I can't go back there anymore.

R25 = Anne He he

It’s a mean, nasty, Republican town, OP.

Thanks all for the info. We likely wouldn't go during any tourist months as we don't particularly like crowds these days. We were thinking of just renting a place for a few days and spending more time by ourselves and exploring than doing anything trendy for the sake of being seen. I was more curious as to what it is people do while they are there? Is there a lot of shopping? I assume there are good restaurants due to it's exclusivity, but are there any good hiking or bike trails? I assume it must be similar to Door County Wi or something like that.

Another one here for the gorgeous Hudson Valley. I'll that that any day over the congested, overcrowded, pain-in-the-ass Hamptons.

The Hamptons, where rich Save the Earth types bravely defy global warming and spend tens of millions of dollars to buy beachfront property just slightly above sea level.

And get to and from the Hamptons in their helicopters and private jets, r34.

My friend had an apartment on Shelter Island and invited me one summer to stay at her place. The ferry had a rule that one can only make a round trip once per day. Delis' price their prepared food by the 1/2 pound instead of by the pound. Someone told me now they price by the 1/4 pound. Lots of bait and switch all around. Locals have only a small window of the year to make their money. Local renters get kicked out every season for tourist willing to pay two or three times more for rent. It's quite brutal!

Nah, why would a gay couple bother with the Hamptons and a bunch of pretentious breeders? When I'm in NYC if I want Long Island, I go to Fire Island!

Long Island has some of the coarsest, trashiest people I've ever encountered, and I've traveled extensively throughout the Deep South.

'I've traveled extensively throughout the Deep South."

Stop bragging, hun. It's unseemly.

Bedford, where the real A-listers live.

I can't believe no one said that they'll arrest you for wearing red shoes on a Thursday in east Hampton.

What town is OP's pic?

Get out of your basement r39

r42 Southampton

R32 you'll find people bicycle all over East Hampton and Amagansett - the side streets, everywhere. Bicycling is perfect in East Hampton. There's a bird sanctuary on David's Lane in East Hampton. The restaurants are astronomically expensive, as are the shops. If you want very reasonable, try East Hampton House Resort, very plain, unpretentious and clean. $600 a night in the Summer, but about $180 this time of year. Wi-fi is a problem throughout the Hamptons. Very uneven and unstable.

I like Nantucket.

"Recently my man and I were discussing potential destinations and he mentioned Long Island. Are the Hamptons actually a good place to visit? Or is it just overrun with social influencer wannabes and a total tourist trap?"

Scene-y ageing queen says what now?

R47, I really regret using "my man." That phrasing was chosen because we aren't married but we are beyond just being boyfriends too, so I don't really know what to call him haha. But it comes across as clunkily expositional so I can't defend against any criticism. But we really are hardly sceney or queeny. We've just been checking certain US destinations off our list and the Hamptons was on mine for a long time, and he was interested as well. I've heard it's stunning views, but what R29 describes is a part of the culture that I just don't want to experience anymore. And I am sick of dealing with uppity socialite wannabes and rich people generally. We visited family in Door County Wisconsin last year (I do realize they are worlds apart socially and commercially speaking) and the whole visiting town after town each day, getting drinks, eating out, shopping, etc., got really really old after two days of all that. And I do wonder if that's ultimately what visiting Long Island would be, zipping from town to town looking in shops at stuff I'd never buy. And I do wonder if, now that I am older and not as enamored with the ideal of being seen and envied, not as in shape, and just generally jaded, if it's "charm" may be lost on me. R45, thanks so much. Those are the types of things we'd probably find ourselves doing, and going off to hike in any wilderness or natural preserves. Would anyone suggest maybe going to the North Fork? Would that be more to our liking, and maybe just drive into the Southern part once or twice to just experience the Hamptons scene?

R29, what do you mean that the area isn't tourist-friendly? Isn't tourism one of the areas bigger economic drivers?

OP wants to know if there are any good cruising areas.

The Hamptons are so much more enjoyable and more beautiful than the north fork, upstate, Hudson, the Berkshires. (IMHO)

The best of the Hamptons is from Bridgehamton to Amagansett. Southampton has all of the same things as the other towns, but to me it feels more congested and more like Long Island. Further east feels more like you’re “away.” Montauk also has great destinations- the area around the lighthouse, good restaurants, etc., but the homes/businesses/landscaping is not as manicured and perfect as other areas. It’s worth a trip to see and if you want to eat at a particular restaurant, but I wouldn’t stay there.

The gay things do pretty much only take place in the summer (except for private events) and are Thursday nights at the Club House in East Hampton, Friday nights at Almond in Bridgehampton, and the gay beach (Two Mile Hallow in EH).

All of the towns have good restaurants, shopping, small museums, hiking trails (just search them online), beaches… it’s really lovely. There are always cultural events taking place- not as great as NYC, but they’re still worth experiencing.

The problem for tourists is that beach parking requires a pass during the summer. I’m familiar with EH. If you’re a resident of the village, you get a free pass to the ocean beaches (like Two Mile Hallow). If you don’t live in the village, you can purchase a $500 annual parking pass. Day passes are available, but not on weekends. This is great for residents because we always get a parking space right at the beach. It also keeps the beaches uncrowded. Anyone can walk, bike or Uber to the beach since beach access is free at all times.

Traffic during peak season can be significant, but everything is so close, that you get to most places you want to be within 20 min. The traffic is only bad on the main streets, so it’s possible to get around without much trouble.

To get to the Hamptons from the city: I recommend driving at night. It’s 2 hours from Manhattan to East Hampton- slightly less time to Shouthampton. If you leave during the day or the evening, it can take 3-4 hours! The express train gets you there in 2 hours, the local is 3.

Most people I know go to get away and relax, not to be seen. Most houses have enough property and strategic landscaping so you don’t see or hear anyone. Being in your yard is really paradise. Most people host dinner parties and pool parties and in turn get invited to them. It’s often hard to make it to all the parties because there are so many. With my group, it’s MUCH less see-and-be-seen than the Pines. Much less pretentious. No drugs, not as much pressure to sleep with everyone. In the Hamptons people genuinely enjoy hanging out, having conversations, making meaningful connections.

It sounds like literal hell on earth.

It’s weird. Not at all tourist friendly - starting with few lodging options. The inability to get to the beach - because it’s not walkable from town and only residents are allowed to park in the lots - is the ultimate tourist buzzkill. Beautiful beaches - if you happen to live in walking distance for $10 million. To me it’s like Beverly Hills - gargantuan houses made to display wealth. Pretentious people trying to impress each other with their displays of wealth. I’ll take Fire Island or upstate/Berkshires any day.

R45, one third of Shelter Island is a nature preserve with 11 miles of hiking trails. Off-season the restaurants are only open on the weekends. We’ve gone a couple of times since the pandemic started since it’s an easy drive and stayed in an Airbnb with amenities. If you want to hike and sit on beautiful beaches and appreciate lazy relaxing days in front of the fire, it’s delightful. And both the Hamptons and the North Fork are just a short ferry ride away if you get bored and want to go shopping or (not particularly good, but fun) wine tasting.

I also have a completely irrational love of the IGA on Shelter Island which carries a limited, but fabulous variety of foods.

I’ve got to get out of East Hampton.

It’s jumped the shark. Cape Cod, Cape Ann and Maine coastal towns are better options. Don’t do p-town. Tacky gay marriage grad from Memorial Day to Labor Day.

One of the saddest things I witnessed at the East Hampton beach was a Hispanic man sitting in his car in the parking lot so that his kiddos could enjoy the beach without them getting towed. The Hamptons is very unfair towards the service class.

[quote] r32 It sounds like literal hell on earth.

^ ^ ^ This. Why the fuck would gay men waste their time? There are so many better options. Someone mentioned Fire Island.

The Hamptons are overrated, overpriced and overcrowded.

R58,

It depends what you’re looking for. If you like ease of access (no ferry = you can come and go any time of the day), culture, good restaurants, civilized people, privacy, peace and quiet, sane parties, you go to the Hamptons.

If you want to be able to walk to you the beach from an inexpensive (relatively) house, don’t care about a small yard, smaller house, want to do drugs and take loads all of the time, you’re a tweaker or a nymphomaniac, go to Fire Island.

R57,

How do you know he didn’t have a parking pass? Maybe he didn’t want to sit on the beach.

R48 You went to Door County and didn’t visit any of the parks or preserves? They’re the whole reason to visit.

R62 we do all the outdoor stuff when we are in Door County, but my boyfriend's family there isn't into rugged outdoorsy stuff so whatever we do with them is usually something of bopping around from town to town shopping, drinking and eating; that all gets very old after the second day. And don't get me wrong, I love exploring any new area, but if the only thing to do there is just go from one little town to the next eating, drinking and shopping while admiring pretty buildings and gardens, that may be tough to justify an extended stay. Also, is there a night life in any of the towns? Are there any bars open until later or does everything shut down earlier than in more metropolitan areas? I'm basically just trying to get the vibe of the place, because we were in Honolulu last winter and the prevalence of influencer-culture there really soured the vacation. I don't mind people taking selfies in front of a beautiful sunset, but it's an entirely different animal when there's a small production team at the table next to mine doing an IG photoshoot of the food. Some (admittedly very beautiful) Insta-whore was in our hotel in a super revealing swimsuit writhing all over one of the lobby couches while two guys photographed her. It truly was grotesque.

What is this Door County, Wisconsin? Is this the new hot place to go? This is the first I have heard of it. Is it on a lake?