Below Deck Med - (MALTA) Part 3

Someone mentioned in the last thread, that Kyle is going to take a tumble down the stairs.

BWahahahahahahaha!!!!

Can't wait!

OMG me neither. There better be some high pitched screams of agony involved.

So what did Dave do that has so many people pissed off with him again?

Please don't tell me he went crawling back to that whore Natasha!!

[QUOTE] Please don't tell me he went crawling back to that whore Natasha!!

Of course he did!

He thought that he would be given another chance with her given how badly things turned out with her ex. So he made a pass at her during their night on the town and she rejected him. Then he went into another one of his late-night, drunken WhatsApp spirals which did not need well.

Did Kyle fall down the stairs yet?

Someone spoiled in the Part 2 thread that Sam Smith (aka Kyle) gets sent home after falling down the stairs.

YAY!!!!

No more fat, sweaty, obnoxious Kyle stinking up my television screen.

That bitch taking a spill was delicious. I just wish they had caught it from various angles.

[quote] No more fat, sweaty, obnoxious Kyle stinking up my television screen.

Don't mess with me bitch, because I'm not the one.

I'll put you in your place!

What a lazy bitch this Kyle turned out to be!

[quote]Because these threads keep getting shut down after only 100 posts.

Read the room, dipshit.

I feel like Kyle breaking his leg is karma from treating Natalia like shit.

R11=stupid frau cunt.

Natalya is annoying in her own way.

GOODBYYYYYYYE KYLE

So what do you guys think about Storm? I find him sexy as fuck. He is one of those guys who I just want him to stick his whole tongue down my throat.

That fall down the stairs was a tad dramatic. And hilarious. The wailing!

Natalya and Natasha are both boring cunts - and Natasha is lazy as fuck.

The NFL player on the next charter seems like a real loser.....PANCAKES!!!!

Dave is a mean, possessive drunk. This all happened again because he drank. He was cool when he was able to keep his head down while working with her sober. It's when he starts to drink that he gets into this mood and gets bad ideas.

R16 We didn't get to see it though. I'm still mad about that.

Good lord I really wanted to see Kyle's full fall, hitting every step on the way down. We were robbed.

I don't find Storm sexy at all. Nice guy, yes. Sexy, no. He seems like he would smell.

Dave is an odd one. On one hand here is a guy who literally climbed Mt. Everest, has done amazing shit all over the world, etc. but can't get it together when it comes to that skank. I'm sure there are plenty of other women who would gladly fuck him (as well as men and I will volunteer).

I find Dave sexy in such a masculine way.

He's very "male," if you know what I mean. Just crazy over pussy.

Even his unintelligible accent is attractive.

But his body, by far, is the hottest thing about him.

Was that the new stew walking down the dock wearing stripper heels?

Was it a gay male, R24? Lol.

Sandy has no clue what's going on with the crew.

Why not?

I would love to see a hot, straight guy replace Kyle.

R27. Sorry. It’s a ditsy chick.

^ She claims to speak 7 languages and has a master's degree in linguistics.

^ she also can’t work an ironing board or open the glass door.

^ She’s a hot mess but better than fucking Kyle

SPOILER

Kyle comes back for the season finale

GOOOOOOODBYE KYLE!!

Lol R32...

This new stew is the most annoying stew I have ever seen. Ugh. Her voice alone!

Is Norway now the place to visit? The new stew was on a ship in Norway. I remember that incident. It was all over the news here. Nyle was in Norway recently too. PS: why travel in fall? I get that it's cheaper but the weather is going to suck. It has been raining almost every day for a month now.

I'm Norwegian btw.

Reid is so cute. I hope he hooks up with the new stew as he clearly likes her.

Worst BD season ever. I watched the finale on Peacock and it’s a big bore. Kyle returns for the last night out because he’s just so adorable. Good riddance.

This season was a big snooze, and it was painful to watch Dave pine away for Natasha the entire time.

Hated this season.

How did Tashas boyfriend get hold of Dave's number?

I think he DM’d Dave on Instagram, R41.

The dildos used to entertain the guests is a potential lawsuit

Hate Kyle

I seriously hope they never bring any of these people back and that includes Mzi and Courtney. Time for a new captain, too.

Love Mzi but he's wasting his time being friendzoned by the very common blond. That girl, Ray-gun had me dying back with laughter.

Mzi is so not yachting material. He needs to stop emulating his older brother and find what he’s good at. He’s a nice person but he’s a deckhand fail.

Spoiler alert!

Next week, Sandy says she was expelled in 11th grade for drugs. Only thing good about that episode.

That was such a reveal, R48. I had to rewind it. Good for her. Someone obviously helped her out.

Kyle reminds me of Sam Smith. He keeps wearing hideous, high-waisted palazzo pants which make his gross fat ass look even more feminine. Vomit.

SPOILER

Ummm can we talk about the new stew licking Courtney’s nipple in the finale.

I agree with R45. We don't need to see any of these folks again.

Natasha is one of the worst people I've ever seen on this show. And she keeps saying how good she is at her job.....she's awful and personality is repulsive.

Goodbye, forever!!! Please. And take Dave with you. I could almost take another with some of the others....but those two are Must Miss TV.

This is why threads about a shitty reality show few people waste their time to watch get closed

I was going to post some spoilers but there really aren't any; it was all just a big nothing. Hate Natasha and Kyle so much.

Kyle ticks all the boxes of a gay male stereotype, irritating.

I have a crush on Tom Pearson from Below Deck Sailing yacht.

He's the one who let the boat drift onto the sand during anchor watch, then got fired.

Tom is cute as hell.

Sigh

^is that the rich charter guest he hooked with?

R58. Nope. Someone else.

I'm sorry, but does someone really need to "rest" after twisting their ankle? Stay off it, sure.. but "rest"? That fat fuck Kyle sure took advantage of laying in bed for hours on end.

I guess the boyfriend has a Sam Smith fetish.

I'm watching Below Deck Med Mallorca, and it's the biggest shit show of all seasons!

First, the Italian girl is a massive CUNT, then she walks off the boat and quits.

Bugsy replaces her and a few episodes later accuses Pete of being a sexual predator.

Pete almost gets fired (but gets edited out of the rest of the season) because of a supposedly racist and sexist meme that he posted to his social media.

Then Kiko gets fired for being a terrible chef, and finds out before the charter is over. So he has to work the rest of the charter knowing he's off the boat.

And to icing on top of the season was Hannah getting fired for taking drugs on board!

What a clusterfuck!

Someone also posted this, calling Malia a druggie.

R62, that season is amazing. Highly enjoyable, especially Hannah’s fraying throughout the season (Kiko leaving is a big blow for her) and then her total flame-out and firing.

I think Sandy almost followed her into the bathroom to make sure she wasn’t flushing her stash!

Jess was a terrible Stew, R64.

Lazy, always focused on Rob and making out with him in secret (totally wasting time).

Kiko always cooked the same thing.

Filet Mignon, Carrot Cake, and Mucaca.

The only bright spot was Pete because of his hot body and constantly talking about needing to get off.

One thing I never understood about that season: why did Sandy let Kiko go before she secured a replacement? It makes the whole MY BOYFRIEND TOM IS COMING FOR A VISIT AND HE’S A CHEF! seem staged. And I hate Bugs so much it almost made me feel sorry for Hannah.

R62,r64 loved that season

[quote] why did Sandy let Kiko go before she secured a replacement?

Probably because he was super sweet, so she knew he would stick it out for the rest of the charter.

Also, they were out at sea, so he couldn't leave any way.

This closet queen Justin Thornton was also on that season.

No surprise he's a MAGAT. His dog was cute, though.

The episode where Hannah got fired just reminded me what a shitty person Malia is.

She was totally set up by Malia because she wouldn't change cabins.

That thing about Valium being "drugs" was so stupid.

Malia purposely took those photos of her Valium and set her up.

The way she was dismissed by Sandy was so dirty.

Tasha is terrible at this job, Natalya is batshit but crazy enough to be perfect as chief stewardess

God, Kyle and his crying when he sprained his ankle was peak drama queen. Good riddance to that useless bitch.

I'd like to bitch slap that asshole cruise guest over his fucking pancakes.

Hey, Dave, even Granny Clampett can make a fucking pancake.

Kyle was hilarious talking about how he was going to push through the pain so he could stay on the boat then went to bed and stayed there. Two nights later he’s back partying with the crew and walking just fine.

Kyle really went all out with blowing up those balloons.

R72. That guest looked like an asshole in the coming attractions (sneaky editing) but he was actually a sweet guy who was fussy about his pancakes. At one point the pancakes were raw but told the stew not to tell Dave because he didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

[quote] I'd like to bitch slap that asshole cruise guest over his fucking pancakes.

Even worse was him taking an expensive neck chain that cost him the price of a house, into the ocean... and then LOSING IT!

And then expecting the crew to go diving in the bay into 40 METER DEEP WATER to go look for it.

What a fucking idiot.

You can tell that everyone else thought so too.

[QUOTE] Even worse was him taking an expensive neck chain that cost him the price of a house, into the ocean... and then LOSING IT!

That was the OTHER black guy on the charter.

No racism, R77.

They kind of look like brothers.

They were both assholes.

Looks like there won’t be a reunion. Even Bravo knows this season sucked.

[quote]MY BOYFRIEND TOM IS COMING FOR A VISIT AND HE’S A CHEF!

Ah yes, the whiny one who served boiled meat.

Tonight is the finale!

Did Kyle come back?

Kyle came back for the last night out. And they did film a reunion airing next Tuesday at 8.

Ah I'll check PEACOCK for the reunion, but I can't promise to watch all of it.

Boy, Kyle sure recovered from his horrifically debilitating ankle injury quickly, didn't he?

Looks like Natasha skipped the reunion. I hope this means we’ll never see her on BD again but I fear KYLE will return as Chief Stew.

R87 Kyle could never be chief stew. He's a lazy fuck who half-assed his way through the season and faked an ankle injury to get some time off.

Lazy chief stews: Hannah, Jenna, Natasha.

Didn't see a reunion on PEACOCK yet.

Jesus... Kyle as a chief stew. Can you imagine?

Sorry, ladies but Captain Glenn might be off the market.

R92 Glenn looks like he's put on about 60 pounds.

^ I guess that is what being in love does to a person. He does look like he porked out.

The reunion is a bore. Dave is clearly still in love with Natasha. Mzi looks cute in glasses. And, for some reason, Reid is dressed like a priest.

Totally boring reunion.

Natasha is such a chickenshit.

She didn't go to the reunion because she knew she would be called out for being a manipulative WHORE!

Even Kyle looked like he wasn't friends with her any more.

[quote]Ray-gun had me dying back with laughter.

I loved Raygan. She reminded me a lot of Bubble from AbFab. Pretty much didn't know how to do anything in her job description and "bone idle," as Our Hyacinth would say. After she got fired she went private on social media, so it was surprising that she showed up.

Kyle got fat. Not surprised, since he's such a lazy ass. It also looks like he used an eyelash curler before the cameras rolled. I'm guessing he never heard again from the gay charter guest he was crushing on, since he didn't say anything about them getting together after the show. That guy was just trying to get his 15 minutes on TV, and he saw an easy way to do it by pretending to be into Kyle.

God, that Natasha is one messed up bitch. That video message of hers, "I met my soul mate for life three months ago..."

She is the living, breathing definition of "serial monogamist," a woman who absolutely cannot be without a boyfriend for even one minute. Dave doesn't know how lucky he is to be disentangled from that emotionally stunted mess.

Did anyone else notice Shandy's gums when she smiled? They weren't a normal pink. They were kind of a weird beige. I think she's wearing a full set of dentures. All of her real teeth probably fell out when she was a stumbling drunk.

Summary of BD gays: Fraser is delightful to watch. Hardworking, funny, quirky and a little bit bitchy. Kyle is lazy, loves to play the victim and inappropriate with guests.

R100 Poor Fraser, though. He has GOT to chill out. He's gonna burn himself before the first charter is even over at the rate he's currently going.

R99 I didn’t notice her gums but it was the first time I noticed her dentures. When did that happen?