Attention Kmart Trash: The Rudest Things You Can Do in Someone Else's House

Haha, remember Kmart? The trashiness of some people. Also, I don't go homes where I am asked to take my shoes off. That's so tacky to me, and my shoes are too nice.

I once went to a friend's house and stole some of his weed....just enough for one joint.

I think the rudest thing one can do in someone else's house is drop a deuce in their water closet. Bleeding the lizard is fine, but squeezin' out a fish should be verboten. No one should have to smell your ass funk.

^ You sound absolutely charming. I bet you get asked to a lot of parties.

A gift for the host? But I AM the gift.

I love the one saying don't feed the host's dog because you don't know if they have dietary restrictions. That one should be on the HOST. Don't have your animals running about if you're worried about them getting a chicken potsticker treated to them under the table. Especially if your food tastes like shit.

R6, you are sick. That is very disrespectful. Throw the plate in the garbage, kindly decline 2nds. You don't go to anyone else's home and feed their pets.

Ha, had to snicker at the "don't overstay your welcome" bit in the article.

As a host, I clap my hands and say something along the lines of "Well, it was terribly nice to have you, but I need my beauty sleep/need to get up in the morning/am feeling very tired". Nobody ever minds.

This article reaffirms why I don't like having people over, or house guests.

Not only do I feed my host's pets, I sometimes stick my finger up their butts.

I'd add jerking off in someone's bathroom cuz the host's son is dressed too provocatively.

Of course, another lazy article from Huffington Post.

If you're going to write an article like that, at least identify rude stuff that many people might actually think is acceptable instead of just making crap up that is obviously ridiculous.

Stealing is rude! Gee, d'ya think?

Agree, R12.

^^^^HOLY BOTNESS!

I can't believe someone had to write an article on what should be common knowledge. The only thing I came close to is feeding someone's pet if they're looking at me soulfully as I munch on a snack, but not without asking

r3 Nailed it. If you dump in the quest bathroom be sure you flush a couple of times and stay in there long enough with the fan on to be sure the air is clear 💩

I always found the Kmart clientele a step above the WalMart clientele we see today. No matter how 'low, low prices' they offer, I just can't bring myself to go in there anymore. Last time I was there (before the pandemic) I was standing in the check out line and two obese women in front of me with dollar-store wigs and wearing midriffs and stretch pants decided they're going to 'dance' in the check out line. Thank you - I'll pass.

A friend of mine crapped in my toilet. At the time, I lived in a shitty cheap apartment and the extractor fan didn't work, so the smell lingered for hours afterwards. He also left a skidmark. And no, he didn't have an upset stomach, he just needed a shit. He was my friend's boyfriend and this was only the second time I'd met him.

I still remind him of it.

Leave a used condom under your pillow.

This is too sick for me. Outtie.

Didn't someone post about a dinner guest bringing her own wine and not sharing any? Thar was pretty bad.

People who bring wine or booze over and then TAKE THE USED PART (bottle / bottles ) HOME.

Cheap.

Was staying overnight with friends, and while they weren't looking, I set an alarm for 3:00 a.m. on their Echo Dot. And they invited me back several months later! Fools! The next time I stayed over I changed their Echo Dot (Alexa) so that it spoke with a man's voice rather than a female.

Not necessarily rude, but a lot of fun. My friends are a straight couple, so playing mild pranks is about as much as I dare to do.

I clogged up a toilet at my friend’s place. There were a ton of people there so I just left it. No one knew it was me

R22 that's evil.

R23 A woman is never a lady when she's dumping up a john!

You all have serious gastrointestinal issues!

[quote]R20: Didn't someone post about a dinner guest bringing her own wine and not sharing any? Thar was pretty bad.

If I recall, the anecdote was about someone trying to take an unopened gift bottle of wine back home with them, because it hadn't been used. I don't recall which thread that was; it was sometime during this past summer.

True story... At a company Christmas party an employee and his wife asked the company owner for financial reimbursement because him and his wife didn't drink. He didn't work there long 🙄

^ That's confusing, what I meant to say was "compensation" because he and his wife didn't drink. Although the party was provided by the company he felt that people who drank were getting more than he was

R27 I've only heard that about a marble rye.

IT'S DELIBERATE!

I do what I want, bitch and if you don’t like it…GOOD.

Drop the Bomb.

Ahem. There should be no pet around guests!

If there is, then the host is the rude one.

I heartily dislike doing anything, even "hanging out," in someone else's kitchen, from looking for a utensil to getting something from the refrigerator to---especially---washing any dishes. So I never ask at the end "if I can help."

I much prefer helping on the front end, like bringing food/dessert and/or giving money in a card to the host to defray his costs.

[quote][R20]: Didn't someone post about a dinner guest bringing her own wine and not sharing any? That was pretty bad.

Was it Ramona Singer and her pinot grigio?

Don’t blow the the host’s boyfriend while he’s downstairs doing the dishes. Quite unkind.

Showing up with cut flowers is not a warm-hearted gesture because the hosts have to stop greeting guests and go find a vase, water and arrange the cheap daisies you thoughtlessly grabbed at Duane Reede's.

^ I like bringing flowers to my host ☹️

Sorry, I always check their medicine cabinet for Vicodin. I've even substituted similar looking aspirin for the vics I took.

Mention to the kids that they’re adopted and mommy’s first two marriages. (I thought they knew, I swear I thought they knew.)

Hostess: Have you met my husband Tom? Me: Sure. I know Tom. He’s had his finger up my ass. Hostess: How droll.(the bitch actually said “droll.”) So you’re one of my husband’s ,s patients? Me: No. He just had his finger up my ass. Hostess: How droll ( that word again) Tom darling, can I see you in the kitchen? RIGHT NOW!!!

R33, I love animals, but I'm hospitalization asthmatic. I couldn't agree more, but of course I demur an invitation if it's a problem to keep the pets locked away.

The rudest thing a guest can do is sit in the chair that is not meant to be sat upon.

Has it come to this? DL taking a listicle in HUFFINGTON POST seriously?

[quote]Showing up with cut flowers is not a warm-hearted gesture because the hosts have to stop greeting guests and go find a vase, water and arrange the cheap daisies you thoughtlessly grabbed at Duane Reede's.

This. It's a pain in the ass to arrange flowers when you're so busy dealing with hosting duties.

Here are a couple more:

1. Don't bring a dish that will take up a lot of fridge space or hog my oven. I don't have the room for it.

2. Bring your own serve-ware if you bring a dish. Don't expect me to go routing around for corn cob holders or a shrimp platter.

3. Don't bring nautical tchotchke hostess gifts to my beach house. Dear God, I have a junk bin full of that crap.

^Just *bring* some wine.

R45 if you have a junk bin filled with ugly hostessing gifts, the laugh is on you, you nasty cunt.

Do not wipe your ass with the guest hand towel, that’s so déclassé.

I cannot believe that people need to be told to avoid doing things that any five-year-old would know to be unacceptable. Seriously, what sort of mentally ill person opens drawers and medicine cabinets in a stranger's house, helps him/herself to food and decides to start grabbing things and having a look at them without asking for permission first? I also find it shocking that people would need to be told that you always bring a small gift when someone invites you into their home. Come on! These are things that are so basic, that even a little child would know them!

The rudest thing I have seen a guest do is to order food to be delivered at someone's house because he was "on a special diet", only to then hide it all away once it arrived and start asking other people if he could taste what was on their plates, instead of requesting the host to simply serve him the same that everyone else was eating. It was so offensively disrespectful and despicably selfish - you order food without telling anyone, make a fuss about not being able to eat what is being offered (which made the host very uncomfortable and forced him to apologize), then put your food away so you won't have to share it with others while demanding that they share what they're eating with you? How repulsive.

I don't think I need to say that I completely lost whatever respect I had ever had for that person. Petty, inconsiderate and scandalously selfish behaviour in social situations tells you A LOT about who an individual truly is.

I've hosted a lot of dinner parties in my life and anything a guest brings is warmly accepted and appreciated, because it's good manners to bring something and it's common courtesy to accept any gift graciously

Get some manners you pigs 😠

Climb atop their piano.

This isn't the first time I've heard it, and certainly understand the thinking behind it, but I'm not going to stop bringing flowers when I'm an invited guest. As much as an inconvenience as it may be in the moment, you forget all about it when the party is over and you have beautiful flowers to enjoy for a week or so. On the opposite end of things, I always love when guests bring me flowers. If I run out of vases and have to use a pot as a vessel, so be it. Not a bad problem to have.

Well you're silly R50. I warmly ACCEPT every hostessing gift but they are not always appreciated in a practical way. Bringing food to an invitation to dinner is very often a very clumsy and thoughtless thing to do. Even though the person might think it's thoughtful. Of course accept it warmly but then have a shot of whisky in the kitchen trying to figure out what do do with some cunts Mac n cheese when it goes with nothing on your planned and prepared menu.

I will never forget my visit to a couple I was friends with who happened to be vegans. Since I am not a vegan, I got their permission in advance to stop at the grocery store and pick up a few items of junk food to store in their fridge/freezer for me to snack on during the week. These were the type of foods that they were very against, being vegans, which is why I asked for their permission first.

A couple days after I arrived and had stowed my treats in their fridge and freezer, I went to take something out. There was nothing left of the food that I had bought. Confused, I asked my friends if they had any idea what had happened to my food.

They'd helped themselves to it and eaten it all. They weren't embarrassed in the least, either.

They also adamantly refused to set foot in any restaurant that served any kind of product derived from animals. The rest of the week, I either went to restaurants by myself, or got fast food and sat in my rental car and ate it.

I can understand if the host wants you to take your shoes off (I would leave that optional even though I'm in a "no shoes" house), but who wants to put on a manky pair of slippers that who knows how many people have worn. That's pretty disgusting.

Fungi should be in the meal not the slippers.

@r53, "Well you're silly [R50]"

Ok and this is why you've probably never been invited to a dinner party at my house 🙂

Also, who wants to walk around someone's house in stocking or bare feet? Ick. My shoes stay on. It's not like I live in India or San Francisco where everywhere you look there are feces on the ground. My shoes are very clean to begin with, but just in case, they get double wiped before entry---on both the outside and inside mats. It's never an issue.

I had a Grindr hookup that found RID in the medicine cabinet and confronted me with it. Belonged to my slutty roommate. I sent him packing. I sorta understood his concern but it was the nasty confrontational tone he had.

He didn’t give me a chance to explain.

Hey flower givers, you can still bring flowers. Get them pre-arranged in a glass vase. I've gotten some gorgeous arrangements that I didn't have to do anything with but put them on a table.

R57, it is considered the height of rudeness in Honolulu to enter a home with your shoes on. Different cultures, I guess.

R53, R33 Here. I would, of course, have discussed ahead of time with the host about any dish I might bring. If the response is all, "Oh, thank you, but I've got it all covered!" then wine or $$ card it is.

I'm a host(ess) who appreciates a guest's desserts, because, well, put it this way: I've never made a cake or pie from scratch in my life.

@r60, This, most people would have a general understanding of their hosts and any cultural customs they may have

In Boston in the early 90’s, took my fabulous older waitress friend Donna McDonald (that worked at Mario’s on Church St.) to an exclusive South End gay party with a bunch of super rich A Listers. She was still wearing her stiff white nylon waitress outfit, all the gays absolutely ADORED her back then.

Then she went to the bathroom, and drunkly caterwauled through the door, “Jesus Christ, there’s no toilet paper in here, I had to pick some outta the trash barrel!

Both hosts turned beet red and we were never invited there ever again.

My follow-up to r33:

The dessert I once took to a friend's dinner was scarfed up by all! Delizioso Tiramisu Cake from QVC.

@r63, A lady always brings a wad of toilet paper pinned to her brazier, because one just never knows what situation one may encounter

[quote]I'm a host(ess) who appreciates a guest's desserts

Same. I love it when people bring dessert. It's one less thing to worry about and lets the evening end on a high note for the guest(s) when everyone oohs and ahhs over their decadent creations.

I fucking love Donna. She would be the first I would invite to a party. I love broads.

[quote]Sorry, I always check their medicine cabinet for Vicodin. I've even substituted similar looking aspirin for the vics I took.

That's pretty fucked up. Steal the drugs if you must, but don't replace them with aspirin, r39. You could kill a person that way.

^ I think he was kidding 🙄

My friend threw a party and our obese boss was there. She sat on the toilet and broke the seat in two! That was pretty rude.

If you dare plug up the toilet do not return

Also as mentioned in the link…. Do not overstay your welcome. A couple of hours or 3 tops then LEAVE.If I change into my night clothes you have definitely overstayed. Thankfully my dog is trained to whine and moan at my guests at the 2.5 hr mark.

[quote]I clogged up a toilet at my friend’s place. There were a ton of people there so I just left it. No one knew it was me.

We knew it was you, Kirker.

I threw a dinner party and my boss took two servings of Veal Prince Orloff, leaving one guest without any. I pulled him aside and he replaced one. How embarrassing.

Call me crass, but I don't think it's rude to ask someone to take their shoes off when entering your home. I live in the central city where the sidewalks are often host to piss/feces of the animal/human variety. I don't want that tracked into my home for me to then walk upon in my bare feet. Plus my friends all know and joke about how anal I am about a clean home (as are most of them).

I hear ya, R52. I have crystal and milk glass vases inherited from my Mom and the odd vase from deliveries. Who doesn't have a few vases stashed away? "Bring me a new vase" LOL no bitch I bought these at Kroger. Love it or shove it!

A smart host / hostess would have a few vases (large and small) filled with water , set aside somewhere so if flowers are brought, they can easily plop them into a waiting vase. It would take less than three minutes of their time. At the end of the dinner party, if no flowers have been brought - then dump out the water and put the vases away for the next party. Such an easy solution to be 'proactive' than 'reactive' in situations such as these.

I love the story about the vegans who ate the crap snack food in their fridge. R54 Some thoughts: 1) it has happened to me so I would have expected them to help themselves and brought a LOT. 2) I say NOTHING and when its all gone I bring/order MORE.

Let those vegans pig out on your delicious (to them) forbidden snacks.

Life is a banquet!

It seems weird though, to sit in your car to eat fast food. Why didn't you eat the food that is offered? Whats the point of visiting friends if you can't share a meal with them.

None of the above, OP.

R77 Just leave vases of water sitting around, assuming flowers will be brought?

Sounds like a recipe for a spill/break to me.

A smarter host would make friends with people who don't bring cut flowers to a small dinner party. Flowers are useless. You can't eat them, and they die messily a few days later. Guests should bring wine, a dessert, or a tasteful male escort. Save the flowers for Aunt Myrtle's funeral where they belong.

[quote]I'm not going to stop bringing flowers when I'm an invited guest.

Then I wouldn't invite you back. Back in the 1980s, I stopped having people over for dinner as often because of the hostess gift issue. No matter how much I insisted that people "don't bring anything but yourself," there'd always be some aggressive twat like r52 who HAD to bring flowers because he "couldn't imagine showing up empty-handed."

Please, show up empty handed. I don't need gifts. All I want is your company. Honest.

Fucking your hostess' husband.

@r82, "Then I wouldn't invite you back"

Good, your dinner parties suck 😠

What kind of tight-assed snobbish cunt gets put out over receiving flowers?

Oh, wait, there's one such cunt in this thread.

honestly this is a question of class milieu and how close you are to the hostess.

You most certainly do NOT have to arrange them that evening. Take off the paper and stick them in a heavy vase in the kitchen. Mention how thoughtful or how lovely.

Don't bring flowers to a rich woman or man who is pretentious or if you don't really know them so can't know their likely reaction.

for working class and lower middle class invites, I believe they are universally welcome and seen as a nice gesture.

don't bring them to college or young adult dinner parties in stead of booze. Always bring booze. But DONT Bring booze to a rich person unless it's spectacular booze AND you know the host and know he's not a control freak.

No wonder some people don't leave their homes. I get the urge to bring something to a host's home. I'm also of the opinion that politely asking via text or quick conversation "can I bring anything?" is very appropriate. Your host either says, "no, please don't...just bring you" or "just bring what you'd like to drink if you don't like booze." What happened to just being honest and transparent without making your guests face an awkward social dilemma? If you take your drink of choice home with you, however, that's another subject. That's cheap and embarrassing on your part.

It's almost like a no-win situation being a guest. If you bring something...that's wrong....then, if you don't bring something.....the host/hostess could hold it against you. I don't see bringing a small gift, like flowers a problem....or a bottle of wine that could be enjoyed later. It's just a token of thank you.

Why does it have to be flowers? No one said a small, tasteful gift is inappropriate. How about a small box of Godiva chocolates, some gourmet jams, flavored vinegars/olive oils........or a bottle of wine? It's not rocket science.

Love r88's take. Why flowers?

Here you go. Good article with suggestions on what you can bring.

The hiccup with R88's advice is that Godiva chocolate is pure shit in the USA, and they closed all brick-and-mortar shops during the pandemic.

Just so there's no confusion, I always kick my host in the cunt bone upon entering the dwelling. At least they know where they stand with me.

When I've had overnight guests I always make sure I put a box of matches in their loo. Nothing kills the stink of a ripe dookey better than striking a match. And a can of Lysol is always there too, to kill the stench of the match sulfur.

R93 Instructions unclear. Your guests have just created a handheld flamethrower!

A week is a long time to be staying with friends, IMO. Maybe that's why they got rid of all of your food.

[quote] Instructions unclear. Your guests have just created a handheld flamethrower!

You don't hold the lit match to your ass as you fart. You simply strike one in the room after you've flushed It's a very old way to kill the stink of a big ol' hockey.

But if you spray an aerosol can at a lit match, what happens then?

Nobody goes to r82 unless they’re left overs from a bar.

Febreze - designed by chemists to neutralize odors. It works. I don't take stinky dumbs but put a bottle in every bathroom so guests can use it if they feel the need.

All my guests are high class. Their bowel movements are perfectly formed and odor free.

Love threads like this where everyone tries to out-snob each other...

"My doublewide is better than your singlewide any day"

"Well, my trailer park isn't nearly as trashy as yours"

"I'll have you know I only shop Target and wouldn't be caught dead in Walmart"

😂

Exhibit D: aspirational Godiva

I remember in DL a queen who fainted over the couch after a frau guess showed with cupcakes FROM A BOX! for dessert and ruined his perfect soirée.

Do not relax on my furniture! You sit there with your knees together like a prude

Child keep ya knees together, else you'll show your business to all the young men. They'll think you a common hussy.

Not surprisingly, the HuffPost list is witless and almost pointless.

Thinking about the subject I've been quite lucky it seems. About the worst I've had happen is to have.people set a drink beside a coaster and walk away, probably to get another to do the same.

I think every host has had a guest show up with someone uninvited/unannounced in tow, though it's not a problem if it's not a dinner party and of the tag along guest is at all pleasant.

Thanks everyone ! These suggestions are very helpful! More please

Back in the early nineties, invited a crowd over to my shiny new flat and someone brought their interior designer partner. She insisted on a tour of my 2 bed, 2 bath then over dinner gave a detailed critique of everything that was wrong with my pad: ‘mirrored wardrobes!’; ‘plastic bath and shower tray!’; ‘fully fitted carpets!’. It was a time and a place and these were normal in a decent starter flat. I felt embarrassed and deflated. Now acknowledge that I’d met my first cuntiest cunt that ever cunted.

R108 why didn't you shut her down immediately?

I was young, naive and relatively socially inexperienced r109. It was a big unfamiliar thing to have a dinner party at my new place. And she was an obnoxiously self-assured cunt.

This is why I never, ever hosted anything at my home. Really - why bother ? Snooping guests, crticism posed as a compliment, special dietary restrictions, etc - who needs it ?

If I want to get a group of friends together for a dinner, I invite them to a nice restaurant and pick up the tab - usually no more than 6 - 8 people, so we can all enjoy each other's company and conversation. Some will always takes care of the bar bill, some will always take care of the tip (in lieu of 'hosts gifts' ) - so it works out well, around twice a year (summer and fall / winter).

R111 That's how they do it in Europe

Nothing like going on vacation only to find out several members of your extended family toured the inside of your home while you were away. Thx to mom and her extra key.

[quote] Some will always takes care of the bar bill, some will always take care of the tip (in lieu of 'hosts gifts' ) - so it works out well, around twice a year (summer and fall / winter).

The bar bill is probably more $ than if the guest just paid for his / her own meal. Same with the tip.

Clog their toilet.

The worst history I remember was in a party many years ago. Two guys decided to hookup on the main bathroom, apparently someone wasn't ready to bottom and they left evidence of that on the bathtub as 2 shitty handprints. Everyone knew who were they.

Actually I experienced a prime example of something you don't ever do when you visit someone's home. Many years ago I had a small gathering at my place. I'd invited about 10 people. One of the guests asked if he could bring a house guest who was visiting him from California, and of course I said that was fine. The tagalong was about 3 sheets to the wind when they arrived. He walked around the room picking up things and giving them the once over, looking dismissive. When he walked over to a tall glass cabinet saw 2 antique silver drinking cops that came over on the boat with my grandmother's family from Portugal in 1898. They were already over a hundred years old when they brought them to America. He did a PFFFFT and said loudly "I can't stand cheap silver plated crap". I informed the fool in a very harsh tone the cups were over 200 years old and were solid silver, then I looked at my friend who brought him with an equally harsh look. The friend got up, took the drunk by the arm and said "let's go, we're leaving" and literally had to drag the asshole out. Everyone there just sat stunned at what an idiot the guy was.

So kids, don't visit people's homes drunk, and keep your opinions of their belongings to yourself.

I swiped an entire pint of Haagen Dazs from their freezer and then went to their powder room and ate it all. Took me all of 5 minutes. They were WASPs and were absolutely starving their guests. It was decades ago but I still remember how satisfying it was.

I stole Camilla's tampon when I was visiting her k in 1985. Five years later, I sold it to Charles on eBay for thousands of dollars.

I liked KMart, but I'm OCD so I've always left people's homes nicer than I"ve found them. I'm a sicko.

^ Can you come over next Tuesday and spend the afternoon? 🙂

Yes, I'll be there with my rubber gloves and cleaning caddy.

^ 😍

Reviving this thread, in honor of Kmart AND rude house gays.

Why is Hillary Clinton holding a bottle of wine in OP's pic?

Thank God I've never been asked to remove my shoes in someone's house or apartment because I would probably have to leave. I'm not walking around in socks or bringing slippers.

^^^^same here.

As a host, I loathe people who show up with an unprepared dish, and want you to provide a knife and cutting board, turn on the oven, provide a serving dish, etc.

Also, stay out of the kitchen if there’s no reason to be in there! I always have the food and drink set up in another area. Go, enjoy, and get out of my way. I don’t need any nonessential staff underfoot.

Take a shit so big that it clogs their toilet.

Many years ago my (then) partner and I would stay a week or so in P-Town with some close friends. One of them was a bank officer, and his boss invited us all over for a drink. His boss and his partner owned a beautiful home in a nearby town, and he was excited to make a social connection with him. We met another couple that we all knew, and they were invited along. We all got to the home and were invited to sit in a small den just off of the kitchen where they had put out some snacks, wine etc. One of the other couple asked to use the bathroom - awkward already as it was a small bathroom right there off of the small den. He goes in to the bathroom as we are all getting acquainted and the hosts are pouring drinks.....several minutes go by and we are looking at each other a nervously wondering what is happening in there. All of a sudden, we all start to detect a horrid stench - and I mean like the worst you've ever - like a bloated rhinoceros carcus roasting in the equatorial sun horrible. The boss looks at our friend and says, OMG is your friend OK? We all kind of stood around and made small talk when finally he comes out of the restroom looking refreshed. My friend apologized to his boss and said they were running a little late for a dinner reservation and we really should be going. When we got into the car the bathroom mans parter said 'What the fuck is wrong with you" - it was really out of character for him and really funny to all of us. Maybe you had to be there - but as people have said on this thread - number one if you have to, but never number two.

r130. Hilarious ❤️

Well that IS a mite unusual. I think the average person without super-smelly feces can feel free to take a dump. What else can you do?

R130 “How could such a tiny man make a stink that BIG?”