Joan Rivers Tells Oprah to Lose Weight

Someone! FINALLY!

Does Steadman have a male lover

This really makes me sad for both of them in a way.

Joan always hated her appearance and never got over it. She fueled her career with that resentment, and she redirected her anger into comedy. She was the funniest person on Earth at one time but her comedy usually made fun of people who were not conventionally attractive. She was basically an Uncle Tom, turning against her own for personal gain.

Oprah's an interesting case of having bought into all the standards of appearance, desperately trying to force herself into a mold into which she did not fit at all, and consciously discussing that. She was illuminated and preached self-acceptance and she made a billion bucks on telling women they need to accept and love themselves as they are, and yet it has never stopped her from trying to force herself into someone she can't be and selling that to her audience, as well.

She showed herself sweating like a pig running marathons in sweats with no makeup, she talked about being told she was too black and too ugly to be a news anchor, she talked endlessly about all those fad diets and losing and gaining weight unhealthfully. And at the same time, a good 50 percent of her shows were fawning over celebs and telling them how impossibly beautiful they are and making over plain people into more attractive people. To this day, despite selling and claiming self-acceptance, she is on every cover of her magazine glammed up and Photoshopped, she gets richer off of Weight Watchers, she talks about being inspired by Diana Ross not because of her talent but because of her beauty. It's really sad, especially because the loves of her life—Gayle and/or Steadman—are not physically beautiful, and so you'd think she'd actually be able to believe in her beauty-is-not-skin-deep platitudes, but she can't.

Even in the video above, sure, I'm sure she was hurt but you can tell she actually thought Joan was right and that it was her fault for "eating too much" and not being a skinny white lady. And she still believes it. She got argumentative years ago when someone claimed she must wear wigs or weaves, common among black women, and she made her hairdresser insist her hair is her own hair—a white standard—her skin is notably several shades lighter on the covers of her magazine than in candid red-carpet photos, etc. She isn't capable of practicing what she preaches, and she profits off people who are insecure about their appearances. Neither she nor Danerys was able to break the wheel.

Spot on, R3.

Joan was really at her worst in that clip. "People shouldn't lie to their friends. They should tell them 'you're still a pig, lose more weight.'"

That isn't a joke to Joan; you can absolutely picture her saying exactly this to a "friend." I'll never understand the love for Joan on DL.

Joan used to tell a joke years ago when she would pick on rich celebrities who weren't beautiful. It was more her philosophy than it was a joke... "If you're rich you should look good"

R5 Yes, that was her excuse. And I acknowledge it worked very well for her. She made us laugh and she made several fortunes. But even if she was aiming her cruel jokes at rich and famous people, the punchlines were making everyday homely and overweight people even more insecure, and they were empowering everyday bullies with ammunition to use against the people they mock.

Joan isn’t wrong, stop projecting today’s “morals” and “wokeness” on yesterday’s standards. Oprah needed to lose weight.

I was around in the '80s and thought they were low blows at the time. Many people did; Joan was heavily criticized for her jokes about people's looks.

Oprah is naturally overweight. I sympathize because my sister is, too, and she is very active and usually only eats once a day. She has Hashimoto's thyroiditis and her weight is beyond her control.

Oprah has lost weight in the past but she appears to do so only through starvation and over-exercise. Her body is meant to be big. And I think you can tell that people like she and Al Roker because when they are thin, their heads look freakishly huge—childlike proportions—but when they're fat they look proportionate.

Joan Rivers was a horrible person.

Joan was an example of a generous person who is not kind.

To think Oprah, an overweight woman, is the spokesperson for Weight Watchers. I guess in a way she’s perfect.

R5 she was right!

There's also a major generation difference of perspectives.

Joan comes from the practical generation before there were reliable social support systems. You play the game to survive. The game is rigged in favor of pretty, skinny, young people, so you pile on the makeup, starve yourself and get lipo, bleach your hair, and mutilate yourself to hack back prominent features to get delicate Northern European ones so that you can get work. And if you care about others, you call them stupid when they resist playing by those rules because they know that in the game of life, you won't change the rules.

Meanwhile, Millennials and especially Zoomers reject all those old rules and insist that standards be redefined based on different norms.

I work with a black woman who will be 70 next year and she is exasperated by young women. I watched her argue with someone about how women present themselves. She said it's dangerous for a young woman to wear high heels, load themselves up with big bags, put on sunglasses and ear phones and walk down a city street at night. The young women said that no woman should have to worry for her safety anywhere or anytime. She said yes, you are right, they SHOULDN'T have to, but they DO have to because rapists don't play by your rules of an ideal world. And all the young women insisted that would-be rapists HAVE to play by those rules because their generation is changing the rules. And the older lady threw her hands up and was like, "OK, well, I hope for your sake you don't wander in front of a rapist on a dark night with your heels and your earphones, you naive little things."

Joan was thin. Orca was fat. It's all factually based, innit?

Well. Thin, anyway.

r3 in short Oprah was like most women in America aspiring to look a certain way for other people. That is why she became wildly successful, she connected with women going through the same thing in their lives.

Now I think people here need to stop talking like we are still in mid 80s when she was a young woman. Oprah is almost 70 years old, practically retired, has more money than God, and she is certainly is not "sad" in anyway. If that's sad I want to be sad! She is content with herself, and has been for a long time.

[quote]Joan was an example of a generous person who is not kind.

She thought being generous MADE her kind. It didn't. A lot of people in this world are mean and judgemental and awful, but have a little handful of things they do that they think makes up for it, so they can fool themselves into thinking they're good people.

I have a very low tolerance for people like Joan who aren't kind, but do performative things to make people believe they are.

And at no point was it ever socially acceptable to tell someone you didn't know that they needed to lose weight. That was always rude, and would be regardless of the topic. "You need to dump your boyfriend, you need to get a degree, you need to wear better clothes" to someone you don't know is rude, full stop. Trying to frame this in some kind of "Joan is right because she wasn't woke" nonsense is ridiculous.

R14 I like that co-worker of yours. She deals in reality.

One might speculate that a kind of "survival of the fittest" effect will take place over time.

R7 go woke your momma. Funny how in the fight for gay rights I'm sure you never mentioned "wokeness" to dismiss it

R9- and his backhanded compliments

When Joan wasn't using herself as a punching bag, she projected her insecurities onto other women - while often funny, there are definite moments where she crossed the line, while these moments could be incredibly interesting and raw (she was a great interviewer when she was really on), there are times where I need to take a break from watching/listening to her.

R7 was on the "Black women are the absolute worst" thread complaining about a Matteo thread being "too homophobic," and when I went to see what he meant, I discovered HE was the one posting the homophobic posts.

I would doubt he fights for gay rights. I would doubt he fights for anything but the last bag of Cheetos at the corner store.

Oprah ❤️❤️❤️‘S her food.

actually I take that back about her projecting, love Joan Rivers, I don't know what it was exactly, I think she thought she was helping more than anything else, relating, it's just when it's done in front of an audience it becomes something else

R25 That interview does showcase Joan's weakness and Oprah's strength. Oprah is empathetic and diplomatic.

Joan was a pushy "fixer," the stereotype of an overbearing Jewish mother I've seen on TV all my life. Oprah was a "helper," trying to draw people along—including herself—to acknowledge what needed fixing and then to help themselves. This is what draws Oprah to Marianne Williamson, "The Secret," Joel Osteen's prosperity gospel bullshit, the Transcendental Meditation scam, vision boards. She's willing to believe in magic if doing that offers hope.

Joan's approach was, stop waiting for God to fix your life; here's your problem, now go fucking fix it so you can enjoy your life!

Oprah's weakness is that she is empathetic and not sympathetic—putting herself in others' places rather than simply feeling for other people's plights—and so she relates emotionally and ends up making every conversation about herself because she feels others' emotions acutely because of how she has been hurt herself. But she cares and she shows that she cares. I got to a point of finding her earnestness and her narcissism trying, but I've always admired her goodness.

I think Joan cared but her only language for caring was trying to help people by fixing what she perceived to be holding them back from their potential.

And while Oprah's confidence and caring led her to make herself a saint via charity and trying to empower girls and empower systemic change in South Africa, Joan's confidence and self-righteousness led her to go on a rant about Palestinian children deserving to die in their schools because "they started it!"

I never thought Oprah’s message was about self-acceptance. It was about self empowerment and a lot of that was centered around self-improvement. She was big on taking responsibility for one’s choices and that included confronting her weight issues. She liked to do that publicly in a very shaming way. It usually involved a big article in Oprah magazine where she would talk about it. I don’t think that means she was okay with Joan Rivers telling her to lose weight but it took awhile before Oprah realized she needed boundaries in her life.

R27 In the video above with Joan, Oprah mentions AM Chicago, the morning show she cohosted before she had her own talk show.

It was 1985 and her show began in September of 1986.

That was a different Oprah. She was in a people-pleaser mindset. She was told by her Baltimore station she was too fat and too black and too ugly, told to straighten her hair, her hair fell out and she was fired. She was brought to Chicago and she liked it.

This was when she was on the brink of getting her own show and she was going out into the world broadending her audience beyond Chicago. She had been conditioned to be afraid of people criticizing her appearance. It cost her work. So when someone powerful like Joan Rivers on the Tonight Show said "You're fat! Lose weight!" she certainly did not have a magazine through which to exploit her self-empowerment.

She was really being bullied here, and she managed to turn that inside out eventually after all her stunts.

Joan was a cunt who stopped being funny for me when she relentlessly mocked Elizabeth Taylor for being fat, and I'm not even big fan of Elizabeth Taylor.

Jews don't embalm, do they? I wonder when they did up Joan's rotting corpse in the future, all the silicone and fillers will still be stuck to her skull.

I posted without watching the clip before, I really think it was a mix of Joan trying to help, her own insecurities and warped sense of self, *and* enjoying giving a lecture in front of an audience - almost like she was admonishing to her past self and getting adulation for it - I thought both ladies bounced off of each other very well, and Oprah handled herself like a pro.

I just watched the clip, Oprah went on to be 10X the star Joan was. Success is the best revenge 😏

It's also a kind of sweet revenge that Joan always lamented that she was never accepted as an actor, as that was her life's dream and she considers acting to be a great art and comedy to be a grind.

Meanwhile, Oprah is a *brilliant* actor, she would not have had the roles she did had she not looked the way Joan disapproved of, and despite being a great actor, Oprah has done it only now and then, a mere trifle and superficial distraction from her altruism—and her wealth accumulation.

If you consider Joan as suffering from body dysmorphia her behavior makes a bit more sense. She had a deep self loathing about her own looks and fears about her own weight. I think she looked at Oprah and couldn't help bring it up because she thinks no one would be happy looking like that, and feels it is ok to say because she feels she is fat and ugly herself, as shown when she brings up that she is trying to lose weight.

It’s hard to know what Joan was going through (she also lost her husband) because I think she tried to do what the Patsy stone character was doing. I also think she tried to do what Dolly Parton does in that she’s mocking the quest of being “beautiful” while participating in the process as a sort of performance art.

However, Dolly knows it’s a joke Joan started to believe that the whole plastic surgery merry go round was reality. It also makes me sad when people that have Joan’s look try to alter their looks because I think they are beautiful. They just don’t think they’re beautiful and up until recently so called conventional beauty was very narrowly defined to the point where everybody starts looking the same and being super boring.

R33 Yes. She was being 'loving.'

Now imagine what she told me all my life about my looks.

I remember the first show of a new season long ago when Oprah walked out to the stage and was slim. My jaw dropped.

Oprah could've clapped back and told that bitch to buy a new face, now that would've been some teevee right there lol

And where is Joan now? Exactly.

This interview shows why Oprah became the powerhouse she did, not just a mere popular talk show host but hugely influential cultural icon. She handled that perfectly. Thanks for posting this OP. My nostalgia is running high

Joan's interview with Jaqueline Bisset was very enlightening, and Bisset wasn't easily pushed around here so it made it interesting

Can you imagine doing a nationwide interview about your job on the most-watched show on television and being confronted by an interviewer who says, point blank, "You're fat! LOSE WEIGHT! Lost some? NOT ENOUGH! LOSE MORE!" Good God.

I wonder if Oprah put a hit on Joan. Just bided her time and then bam! Cause you know Oprah is one to hold grudges.

Joan was a bitch. I know...the reason why so many people like her. She was funny, but can be very cruel, too.

A lot of Joan’s barbs about weight were very much a result of her own insecurities and self hatred. She was funny as hell and sharp, and yet clearly considered herself to be some kind of ugly beast. She was rather cute when she started out as a regular on Carson, but turned into some plastic surgery Frankenstein. All self loathing women are like this - they hate how they look so much they attack other women for their looks and weight as way of projecting their insecurity.

She must have been so grateful to Joan for pointing this out to her. Most overweight people are completely unaware of it and they need people to remind them or they'll just not notice it.

Conversations that would never happen today.

let's review the 600lbs threads next

healthy at any size

Oprah did say she felt shamed by that moment. Poor gal.

People keep posting that Joan said that because of her own insecurity. yes, but it was also very much a power trick. If she really wanted to help oprah, she would have said that offstage.

Joan wanted to bring Oprah down a peg because she was competitive. She wasn't a kind person--she was a huge narcissist, and the only people she ever cared about besides herself were her daughter and grandson because they were projections of herself.

[quote]she would have said that offstage

Exactly

Anyone who has ever seen Robert Mercer's daughter knows no amount of money will make you look good.

R53 Oprah was not known to people outside of Chicago and Baltimore yet at that time. Joan was not checking her ego. She was a small fish regardless of her weight. It was just mean.

Oprah's FIFA moment from R50 is here...John Secada sings from "the hole" at 6:45 lol

Joan Rivers would've been a Deplorable. I don't doubt it for a second.

"Oprah did say she felt shamed by that moment."

She should feel greater shame for foisting Dr. Oz and Dr. Phil on the general public.

^ I'm glad you mentioned that. Oprah has lost a lot of cool points with me because of Oz, Phil and others

If I was married to Joan, I, too, would have killed myself to get away from the septic cunt.

Edgar did kill himself because Joan blamed him for all her failures. Finding death preferable to life with Joan Rivers says a lot

Good for Oprah handing it like a pro good for Oprah handing it like a pro 👍

R58 She said she wanted him to be president.

[quote]Oprah did say she felt shamed by that moment. Poor gal.

Cry me a river.

Why? What happened to Toni?

R64, no surprise. She's typical of her ilk - like Jackie Mason

Eldergay here. I watched that interview the night it aired and still remember how mean it seemed.

I was a child and I have no idea but I imagine Joan might have stirred up buzz and sympathy for Oprah before Oprah went national. Everyone watched and talked about the Tonight Show back then. I bet millions of people chattered about what she said to "that poor black woman last night!"

I don't think Oprah is overweight. She just got fat bones.

Oprah has always looked fat. Even when she was pulling that wagon of fat she lost, she still looked fat.

Oprah ripped Toni a new one on her talk show back in the 90's for going bankrupt. Toni felt Oprah humiliated her and has never gotten over how she was treated by the big O.

Here's Oprah greeting Sheryl Lee Ralph at the Emmys after a win. You need boots to wade through this performance, but Sheryl clearly isn't going to "sister girl" Oprah.

Was Oprah really even that big when Joan gave it to her? The shiny white pantihose did her legs no favours, but had she worn an ankle length gown her legs wouldn't have been seen.

Also, what a shame that instead of her gurus, she had just sought out the best shrink and therapist. She wouldn't have been able to sell that approach to her fans, but she would be In a better condition mentally about her weight, as well as in a better state physically. A really good shrink will insist patients exercise regularly, eat properly and drink lots of water

Does Oprah ever talk about exercise?

^^ Not anymore.

During her talk show years, she talked obsessively about exercise. One reason I admired her as a teen was that she was all glammed up on her show but she would have a crew follow her while she was preparing for a half marathon or something, with no makeup, no fake eyelashes, no glam at all, huffing and puffing and yelling at people to stop bothering her like a real human being would do.

One of her Oprah™️ gurus is Bob Greene, and his role was her and America's fitness adviser. He's still making money for her, hawking her endorsed products on home-shopping segments on that great journalistic endeavor called The View.

Oprah's marathon.

Fat = more to love... for women anyways.

[quote] That interview does showcase Joan's weakness and Oprah's strength. Oprah is empathetic and diplomatic. Joan was a pushy "fixer," the stereotype of an overbearing Jewish mother[.] ... [Oprah's] willing to believe in magic if doing that offers hope.

I don't see Oprah's pushing her "magic" (quack doctors) as being a positive.

Joan was brutal with the ugly truth.

And yet, if someone told the "brutal truth" about her daughter's looks, she'd be the usual, deplorable hypocrite who dishes it, but can't take it.

You could tell Joan was thrilled her grandson didn't turn out homely.

r80 celebrites, politicians, their wives and really, most people in general. .. very few have much empathy for those outside of their cliques, communities or other tribes. Just imagine if we started talking about hillary and how many would be foaming at the mouth, throwing out the most bigoted slurs, issuing threats and proclaiming to snatch people's cards or genitialia away. but of course, typical of magats too.

Still this thread is just full of fatties.

then you have the antisemites vs the racists.

R82 And what the fuck are you?

R82 with the "antisemite" bullshit when no one attacked her for her Judaism. Meanwhile, Joan was a hateful Zionist who thought Palestinian children deserve to die, but if you say that about Jews, somehow, the targets become human to those same, racist idiots screaming about "antisemitism"

She is no different in her mentality from Jackie Mason or Roseanne or Ben Shapiro or Jared Kushner or the countless other racist Jewish people who get away with saying some vile shit. No surprise she was a deplorable. They don't give a shit when Trump is hateful and disgusting towards other groups.

I think Joan would have eventually ended her Trump support if not for the simple fact of being business savvy. Being a republican is one thing but being a Trumspter is another animal especially as he doubled down on his ignorance and craziness throughout his president. One thing about Joan is she knew her audience. They would have fell out and he would have bashed her on Twitter.

That was funny as hell.

R85 Her audience was left wing = LGBT, Jewish, more 18-40 than older ages (except for the wealthy seniors who could afford her shows) & women.

None of that stopped her from being a repub for the last couple decades of her life (both quietly in the 80s & out & proud in the 90s onward) & sucking Trump's dream cock for the White House. Joan & Missy supported anti-gay Steven Forbes who tried to distance himself from gay daddy to dazzle the religious right. It failed completely. She'd be 89 this year & a frequent Fox News guest on how Trumpy was robbed & how his tax cuts improved everything (She was all about the $$$).

Try again.

Miss Fire Prevention. She won because she couldn't start a fire with her bad looks.

R26 Good post, but I personally prefer Joan’s approach. Oprah is pure emotion, which is why she is so successful but also why she has contributed so powerfully to the tragic dumbing down of American women.

Calm down, R84. Jesus.

Oprah, "oh Joan, I see why your husband had to kill himself just to get away from you"

R91 Fair.

Joan would have supported Trump wholeheartedly -- remember, she had no problem saying Palestinian children should be exterminated and constantly claiming Obama was gay, as an insult, and Michelle was a secret trans -- and then marketed herself as a victim of cancel culture when she got called out on it.

That is exactly where her career was headed, and we've seen it with dozens of others, and she would have been no different.

Just to clarify, Joan's husband killed himself several years after thos interview.

Here's a CNN interview that is kind of interesting. She says it's ok to be mean to because she's telling the truth and saying what people say to their friends, and the people she is saying it about are wealthy actresses. Then she continues that if you can make a joke out of something you should. Then she walks out of the interview after being asked about wearing fur because the interviewer is being 'negative'.

^ Poor Joan, she could sure dish it out, but sure as hell couldn't take it

Joan was a Republican, so she didn't care if she hurt anyone's feelings.

Well, somebody had to do it.

She is correct.

There should be more fat-shaming. Fat is not natural, normal, or healthy.

Colon cancer is surging in people under 50 because of obesity and poor diets.

Feel great about yourself! Until you die 30 or 40 years before your natural life expectancy.

^ If it's ok to fat-shame, let's also plastic surgery-shame. It's not healthy to be overweight, but it's also not healthy to subject yourself to all those plastic surgeries and pretend you don't have a psych problem.

True, Oprah is fat and happy (and alive!) and Joan was thinner but unhappy. Her first marriage failed, her second husband took his own life to be done with her, and she had a very turbulent relationship with her own daughter. No Joan, people wouldn't rather have been you.

I loved Joan. I miss her. She was funny, smart, and bold.

Oprah must've been surrounded by Yes Men back then if she was hurt by that comment. Hadn't she been hearing from others every day?

Oprah is a rich bitch now, so she gets no sympathy from me and my fat ass.

SNS

Yea, Oprah's very wealthy but so was Joan, who was worth about $150M. It's one thing to encourage someone to get healthier, it's another to say it in front of millions of people.

holy shit there's a lot of fat cows here tonight.

She would just say MOO.

R105 No, Joan would say, "Oh, MOO! It's like!"

Joan was like Omarosa. She loved Trump because he chose her to be a favorite and she believed he was a billionaire. The difference is that Omarosa's ambitions were political and so she petitioned for a fake job at the White House, she got it, he predictably betrayed and insulted her, and she turned on him. Joan never would have had any kind of White House role and she would not have criticized him publicly except maybe lighthearted and obvious hair jokes, and I think she would have died as a Trump supporter even if she had lived until 2025.

Oprah wasn't even that fat in that clip, especially by today's standards. Can you imagine if Lizzo was on Joan Rivers's show back in that era?

Mutual admiration society.

R108 Lizzo would not have been a celebrity during that era because of her size and her self-presentation. And if Joan were alive today, first, she would know better than to say such a vicious thing to Lizzo's face (only behind her back as comedy), and second, Lizzo would tear Joan apart if she did and Lizzo would have all the public support—EXCEPT from MAGA adherents. Which is why Joan would probably be the Trump administration's only legitimate celebrity spokesperson. She was the funniest person on Earth IMO. She was also incredibly cruel, and when she switched from speaking in one liners that you couldn't help laughing at to speaking sincerely, it became clear that she was hypocritical, just as mean-spirited as she is in her comedy, spiteful, vengeful, and there really was no limit to her cruelty.

She was very much like Trump.

It's notable that Melissa, protector of her mother's legacy, was silent during the Trump era.

Fat shaming doesn't help, and in fact has been shown to actually make things worse, r99.

People have known this for years. Anyone who insists that fat shaming should be done because it will reduce obesity is either willfully ignorant or lying to excuse their own behavior.

R111 Joan was ancient and she was clearly fat shamed by her own family when she was young. She would not have cared what studies say.

She'd have said, "Oh, boo hoo! You wanna talk fat shaming? I was fat shamed my whole childhood! And you know what? IT WORKED! No man ever told me I was beautiful but NO MAN EVER CALLED ME FAT! THANK YOU, MOTHER. Get your studies and your fat positivity away from me! Fat is a DISEASE! And it's a CHOICE! You wanna have a big fat ass and a big fat face? FINE! But be prepared to be the butt of people's jokes "

Basically, she and Bill Maher shared a mind.

R32- Oprah was NEVER an actor

She’s an ACTRESS.

I loved when she'd get pissed because people would point out Melissa was a no talent uggo.

[quote]R111 Joan was ancient and she was clearly fat shamed by her own family when she was young. She would not have cared what studies say.

So fucking what? R99 said we needed to bring back Joan Rivers-style fat shaming because it'll reduce the number of fat people.

That's untrue. Who the fuck cares if Joan would have said otherwise?

I just want to say there used to be a time when certain people who are naturally meant to be big, but were proportion right and didn't look slovenly. We called these people big boned. I'm quite aware there was a time when Oprah was bigger than she appears to be in Joan's clip. Oprah is not fat there, she just big boned. I mean technically yeah she's fat. Anyone get what I'm saying and remember when our culture was like this. What started happening is all these young people getting so dam big in their early 20s because of terrible eating habits. They are fat. We stopped using the term big boned to not offend these young people, and it all just became fat as certain fatties started claiming the word as empowerment.

R116 I am with you; however, when I was growing up, "big boned" was only used as a pejorative to call people fat without saying "they're fat." It was never said without laughter.

My sister is big boned and I am small boned. Today, NIH has a BMI calculator that is adjustable by small, medium or large frame, which means the same thing.

I have narrow shoulders, long arms and legs, a long torso, and my limbs are gangly and delicate. (I'm male and was a fey young gay.) Putting on 10 pounds of weight for me makes me feel bulky and uncomfortable. I currently have a 34" waist and I feel positively fat and I have a tire around my gut.

My sister is broad and stout. I'm 5'11" and she is 5'4", and yet her wrists and fingers are considerably thicker than mine are. Her arms have always been enormous. She is naturally muscular even when she isn't very active, but she's a lot more active than I am. She takes yoga and kickboxing classes. She doesn't have a belly.

She told me a few years ago that her longtime doctor, an endocrinologist who manages her thyroid disease and came to serve as her primary care doctor, apologized to her out of the blue. She told my sistet that every single time she has come in over the past decade or whatever length of time, she has judged my sister, spoken down to her and lectured her about losing weight. And she said recently, doctors have become more aware that different people's bodies are different, and she realized my sister has a large frame—literally her bone structure, which can't be changed—and despite thyroid disease, her weight is stable, not fluctuating. And more importantly, although her BMI is higher than average, she's not obese, she is very active, and her bloodwork shows she is healthy with no weight-related health problems. So, she said, I am sorry that I may have made you feel bad about your body because the only thing wrong with it is your hormonal balance, not a lifestyle-affected issue, and I am ashamed that I didn't realize averages don't apply to all individuals. That meant A LOT to my sister. Her voice trembled and she got teary. She's a stereotypical Leo and she always knew the doctor was wrong and that her body is normal, but she still liked hearing the apology.

Our grandmother also had thyroid problems and she basically starved herself often to remain thin. She used to encourage my sister to eat less and to drink more coffee and tea to burn more calories.

^ I have a completed dead thyroid and I'm a skinny old Gay man

^ completely* 🙄

R119 Thyroid imbalances can cause both weight gain and weight loss.

R87, you completely missed what I was saying but ok. I'll try harder and break it down for you. Hollywood republicans existed Trump. Joan was successful on E! with her brand of humor and was a proud republican. I clearly stated she would have been a lapsed Trump supporter. It is my opinion that she would have fell out with him as he continued to tweet, obstruct, and lie unlike any other president before him. Hollywood adored Reagan. I actually imagine Joan would have used her falling out with Trump to her advantage really sticking it to him with her wit on Twitter. Trump would not have been able to handle Joan.

Should read Hollywood Republicans existed before Trump.

This is probably why it was best that Joan died when she did. She couldn't have survived this climate and would have been cancelled. During the Trump years, the first time she said something nice about him or refused to comment negatively on him, she would have lost what was left of her fanbase.

Exactly, R123.

@r120, Yes, but I have the kind of thyroid issue that's suppose to make me fat. Doctors are always surprised at how thin I am considering my blood work ups. I'm just not that into food so it doesn't really make much difference in me. In other words diet is still the main culprit in obesity

R125 Yes, as well as inactivity, but there are still exceptions.

My mother had to have a fecal matter transplant years ago. No one in my family had ever heard about the procedure. I read about it and got a little freaked out, because there have been cases of people who are a normal weight or underweight having such transplants and ending up enormously overweight practically overnight without their changing their diets at all. It turns out that gut microbiota also have a major role to play in metabolism and weight management. Some people's bodies put on weight and some do not.

I think there's a tendency to blame all overweight people for eating too much and not moving enough—guilty—but I am certain all of us have know very skinny people who eat like horses and are lazy and yet can't put weight on. We accept that some people are exceptional in being naturally thin, but any heavy person has to be an indulgent hog.

[quote]Feel great about yourself! Until you die 30 or 40 years before your natural life expectancy.

Why on earth do you give a shit when some random fat person dies? Just own the fact you like to judge fat people.

To the poster who linked that video of Sheryl Lee Ralph and Oprah, that was bizarre. At first Sheryl looks at Oprah like, bitch, don’t even try it. Then she totally gives in. I guess all the cameras around them made Sheryl rethink snubbing the O.

Joan was right, but she was wrong to do that publicly. That was not giving caring input as a "friend." That was humiliating someone in front of millions on television to garner views and get your show talked about. Of course, there is certainly the argument that O does not hesitate to ludicrously and grossly inappropriately assume the role of a healthy-living guru to millions of gullible viewers when she is the last person with any standing to do so. On that basis I guess O deserved to be called out. But it was still small of Joan, and she demeaned herself by doing it.

Needless to say, whose grave is O dancing on today? What does it matter how thin you are and how healthy your BMI index is if your addiction to grotesque and highly risky plastic surgery and disregard of due diligence precautions gets you killed? Not exactly healthy living there, was it.

r116

How come Sheryl Lee Ralph didn't want to hug Oprah?

I don't think Oprah is as happy as she professes to be.

Monique lectured black women about not going out in public wearing hair bonnets. Yet, she posts videos of herself where she is looking wack and like she just got out of bed, herself.

She doesn't look THAT big in that clip. Probably 175 at most?

And that was long before the age of great shape wear that wasn't an actual girdle.

R133 My sister works for child protective services and she said that that is true. She said it is very complicated dealing with sexual assaults among many children because kids are groomed to trust the person and then the person does this thing that feels good to them but also feels wrong and they are confused and conflicted by it, not understanding it's abuse because they love and trust the person. And for anyone who'd say "well then that's not abuse because it doesn't traumatize them," it is abuse. It makes sex very complicated when they are older and have sexual feelings. Usually the abuser ends up threatening them to keep it secret, and even if they don't, that kid learns as they grow up what sex is and who it should be with and they harbor extreme shame and internalized resentment.

This is interesting. It just popped up on my YouTube feed.

Joan was on Graham Norton's show so long ago she actually looked like herself. I didn't realize Graham has been around so long. I forgot he had the trophy boy thing on his old show, as all.

Joan seems unusually tame here. Graham made a little dig at Minnie Driver, baiting Joan, and Joan said "it wasn't....the best choice of an outfit for an awards show." That's a long way from her normal sort of, "Oh, was Minnie there? I missed her. But there was a strange woman with a praying mantis head wearing a trash bag!"

Her face was pulled too tight in that video, R137.

Joan was such a shallow and insecure bullying bitch. She dished it out but couldn't take it.

I hate bullies.

Egads, Oprah’s exposed thighs there are two California giant redwood tree trunk bases encased in Diana Ross Pantyhose!

Joan had a thing for humiliating globally famous women. Before Mariah Carey was about to sing her duet with Whitney Houston at the Oscars in front of a billion people, Joan greeted her by saying "Everyone said you gained weight...you did not..." Joan said she looked nice, but why even say that to someone who is insecure and not as skinny as they once were?

Mariah said it helped her losing weight. Shade to Joan.

When she can’t control the script.

"Unsolicited advice is always self-serving."

--Amy Dickinson

Joan does say Oprah is a pretty girl which I would not.