I’m a concert and everyone is standing the entire time while filming on their phone.
Let’s be annoying shit
by Anonymous | reply 600 | December 21, 2022 1:51 PM |
I'm every airline
by Anonymous | reply 1 | September 2, 2022 1:15 PM |
I’m a nice dinner out and the pause everyone has to take when one of the guests asks everyone to wait so she can take a picture of the food for her Instagram.
by Anonymous | reply 2 | September 2, 2022 1:15 PM |
I'm the person across from you on the bus. My phone is on speaker whether I'm shrieking back and forth with someone or just playing the latest tune by my girl Rihanna.
by Anonymous | reply 3 | September 2, 2022 1:16 PM |
I'm a ticking clock. I must've driven so many people nuts before that bitch Digital came along.
by Anonymous | reply 4 | September 2, 2022 1:18 PM |
I'm the Lume Lady on youtube.
by Anonymous | reply 6 | September 2, 2022 1:25 PM |
I'm the exhausted person sitting in the seat in front of you and your restless brat who want stop kicking the seat.
by Anonymous | reply 7 | September 2, 2022 1:37 PM |
I'm the coworker who STILL can't figure out Zoom or Teams after all this time.
I also have just one last question at our 430 p.m. on Friday weekly closing meeting.
by Anonymous | reply 8 | September 2, 2022 1:40 PM |
I’m the followers who have to endure R2 ‘s friend’s frivolous posts.
by Anonymous | reply 9 | September 2, 2022 1:41 PM |
I'm people who have to be the first off a plane, even though I'm seated in the last 5 rows.
Only flow one airline where deplaning went row by row front to back (Volaris) and it was so orderly and stress free. Guess what it didn't take much longer, either.
by Anonymous | reply 10 | September 2, 2022 1:49 PM |
I'm the protective foil/plastic seal on almost every condiment, vitamin or OTC medicine bottle. Often, I have no tab that could make my removal more convenient. Sometimes I have a tab, but I'll be sure to fail just to annoy you further.
by Anonymous | reply 11 | September 2, 2022 1:56 PM |
I'm offended at this thread.. eleven replies and you misogynstic poof prancers still haven't included wombyn. the transtapo strikes again.
by Anonymous | reply 12 | September 2, 2022 2:09 PM |
I’m R12
by Anonymous | reply 13 | September 2, 2022 2:10 PM |
I'm the scat fetish that brought r13 to this thread.
by Anonymous | reply 14 | September 2, 2022 2:13 PM |
[quote] I’m a concert and everyone is standing the entire time while filming on their phone.
r1 I always wonder these assholes are going to [italic] watch [/italic] the hundreds of videos they shoot at everything.
by Anonymous | reply 15 | September 2, 2022 2:14 PM |
I'm a transwoman
by Anonymous | reply 16 | September 2, 2022 2:15 PM |
I'm a small penis.
by Anonymous | reply 17 | September 2, 2022 2:16 PM |
I’m R12 and R14 ‘s fragile ego
by Anonymous | reply 18 | September 2, 2022 2:18 PM |
r15 well, there is the benefit that there are some people which will utilize multiple shots to provide a better video experience. Even with better cam tech, theatres and concert halls most recorded concerts are still managed like it's the 50s.
All in all, concerts are too bloody annoying... ticket prices are grossly overinflated, the conditions of many centers are on par with a porn theatre and people are annoying.
by Anonymous | reply 19 | September 2, 2022 2:22 PM |
I'm student loan bailout for r18 who's shining achievement was that line. Oh, the rise of tuition and tuition makes every cent worth it.
by Anonymous | reply 20 | September 2, 2022 2:25 PM |
Weirdo.
by Anonymous | reply 21 | September 2, 2022 2:27 PM |
I'm what you get after eating an entire order of #3 Szechuan chicken with dried chiles, extra spicy. THAT is some annoying shit.
by Anonymous | reply 22 | September 2, 2022 2:34 PM |
I'm a flock of invasive European Starlings on the lawn.
by Anonymous | reply 23 | September 2, 2022 2:38 PM |
I'm the never ending Car Shield Auto Warranty commercials.
by Anonymous | reply 24 | September 2, 2022 2:53 PM |
I’m your camping neighbors who stay up till 3 am screeching around the campfire. I’m poor white trash who can’t afford a motel and ruin the experience for everyone.
by Anonymous | reply 25 | September 2, 2022 3:04 PM |
I'm that lonely little turd that wont flush.
by Anonymous | reply 26 | September 2, 2022 3:05 PM |
I’m having a loud conversation on speakerphone in public because I am very important!
by Anonymous | reply 27 | September 2, 2022 3:08 PM |
I’m Meghan’s fans on DL
Like our idol/icon/future Queen of Montecito, we’re circling the drain.
by Anonymous | reply 28 | September 2, 2022 3:27 PM |
We're the DataLounge queens/shutins who think posting tons of shit and starting numerous threads about a sitcom that went off the air 30 years and involves 4 older than dirt hags is amusing and witty.
by Anonymous | reply 29 | September 2, 2022 3:37 PM |
[quote]I'm student loan bailout for [R18] [bold]who's[/bold] shining achievement was that line.
I'm "Oh, dear." You couldn't keep me away forever.
by Anonymous | reply 30 | September 2, 2022 3:52 PM |
I'm the TCM Wine Club.
by Anonymous | reply 31 | September 2, 2022 3:56 PM |
I am a regional jet. I am old and tiny and don't have any amenities. You'll also have to check your carryon at the gate because the flight is full. Surprise!
I'm gonna be your chariot for a three hour flight from Cleveland to Houston. No snack service, just a cup of water from the Flight attendant who will go around the cabin pouring it from a single bottle like we're on a Guatemalan missions trip.
Also good luck trying to make your connection in 20 minutes at the "real airplane" gates clear on the other side of the airport.
by Anonymous | reply 32 | September 2, 2022 4:10 PM |
I’m the houseguest’s dog. I’m also the houseguest.
by Anonymous | reply 33 | September 2, 2022 4:13 PM |
I'm Marjorie Taylor Green, & Lauren Boebert
by Anonymous | reply 34 | September 2, 2022 4:21 PM |
[...]
by Anonymous | reply 35 | September 2, 2022 4:27 PM |
I'm MSNBC
by Anonymous | reply 36 | September 2, 2022 4:48 PM |
I'm extremely loud music. Kind of like what you would hear when attending a concert.
by Anonymous | reply 37 | September 2, 2022 5:39 PM |
I'm the small rock in your lace-up boots.
by Anonymous | reply 39 | September 2, 2022 6:10 PM |
I'm Lourdes.
by Anonymous | reply 40 | September 2, 2022 6:26 PM |
I’m children
by Anonymous | reply 41 | September 2, 2022 6:50 PM |
I’m people whose worldview is based on Ayn Rand novels.
by Anonymous | reply 42 | September 2, 2022 7:38 PM |
I'm the frau in the grocery store whose attention is more focused on the good old chinwag she's having on her phone with another frau — blocking the aisle, cart placed horizontally, absolutely oblivious to everything in her surroundings.
I am The Frau on the Phone.
by Anonymous | reply 43 | September 2, 2022 7:43 PM |
I'm any CNN article that starts off with the word "Mom" because 9 times out of 10 is some piece of attention seeking shit that wouldn't ever make the feature section of your local newspaper.
by Anonymous | reply 44 | September 2, 2022 7:43 PM |
I'm your mother criticizing everyone yet still believes herself a good god fearing woman. No matter how many times you tell her she's a hypocrite she insists she's not and goes on criticizing everyone.
by Anonymous | reply 45 | September 2, 2022 9:38 PM |
I’m the Christian name “Bebra.”
by Anonymous | reply 46 | September 2, 2022 9:43 PM |
I’m that freezer smell.
by Anonymous | reply 47 | September 2, 2022 9:45 PM |
W&W, r31.
😂😂😂
by Anonymous | reply 48 | September 2, 2022 9:46 PM |
I'm corporate jargon.
by Anonymous | reply 49 | September 2, 2022 9:58 PM |
I'm that protective ice on top of the sherbert.
by Anonymous | reply 50 | September 2, 2022 10:04 PM |
I'm this thread.
I'm so sorry. Was that bad?
by Anonymous | reply 51 | September 2, 2022 10:25 PM |
I'm your friend, getting endless grainy, blurry concert videos from you. Ugh. We get it. You're cool and down with the live music scene.
by Anonymous | reply 52 | September 2, 2022 10:28 PM |
I'm the person in the car behind the frau in the car in front of me at the traffic light. The light turned green 15 seconds ago, but she's been too busy looking at her phone to notice.
by Anonymous | reply 53 | September 2, 2022 10:30 PM |
[quote] I'm the scat fetish that brought [R13] to this thread.
No, it is mentioned in the very title of the thread.
It is inescapable in American discourse.
by Anonymous | reply 54 | September 2, 2022 10:31 PM |
[quote]I'm that protective ice on top of the sherbert.
I'm people who can't use spellcheck.
by Anonymous | reply 55 | September 2, 2022 11:37 PM |
I'm toe fungus.
by Anonymous | reply 56 | September 3, 2022 1:03 AM |
R43 I am the eldergay with opportunistic ingenuity in these situations , upon seeing the Frau, I quickly glide about the store and collect items that would be embarrassing for a white middle aged Karen to have in her cart . These would include yeast infection remedies, contraceptives, incontenience products and lice shampoo . I discretely place them in her cart while she yammers on the phone. . And then watch from afar at check out for a good laugh. " How did that get in here ? I did'nt put that in my cart" Judgmental cashier looks at the Frau and thinks " Sure honey , Sure "
by Anonymous | reply 57 | September 3, 2022 1:21 AM |
R57 A little extra cheese on the taco?
I need a price check on vagicream.
by Anonymous | reply 58 | September 3, 2022 1:32 AM |
I am in my 8th year of a 3 year doctoral Program on Sumerian literature. In between serving lattes at a Starbuck's imitator, I post condescending posts online to remind people that I am relevant.
by Anonymous | reply 59 | September 3, 2022 1:34 AM |
I'm obese
by Anonymous | reply 60 | September 3, 2022 1:36 AM |
I'm the sound of skateboard wheels hitting the ground over...
and over...
and over...
and over..,
by Anonymous | reply 61 | September 3, 2022 2:21 AM |
I'm "the poors"
by Anonymous | reply 62 | September 3, 2022 2:31 AM |
I'm leaf blowers at 7am
by Anonymous | reply 63 | September 3, 2022 3:34 AM |
I am a tonsil stone.
by Anonymous | reply 64 | September 3, 2022 3:41 AM |
[quoye]I'm extremely loud music. Kind of like what you would hear when attending a concert.
I'm the same loud music, kind of like what you would hear from the neighbors down the alley at 1am on a week night.
by Anonymous | reply 65 | September 3, 2022 3:53 AM |
I’m the woman driving her SUV, the construction driving his pickup truck, the teenaged twerp driving his monthly rented brand-new Mercedes, or the senior frau driving her rear-window-stuffed-animals-crammed Civic in front of us using our red light or Stop sign as their personal iPhone messages checkstop.
by Anonymous | reply 66 | September 3, 2022 3:57 AM |
I'm the second and third poop your dog decided to take because you only had one poop bag with you. When freshly stocked with poop bags, I don't make an appearance.
by Anonymous | reply 68 | September 3, 2022 5:12 AM |
r68 Extra WWs for the unintended literal take of the thread title.
by Anonymous | reply 69 | September 3, 2022 5:37 AM |
Oh, R69, I'm the non-American who hasn't yet realised that Americans like using words regardless of their literal meaning.
They seem oblivious to the meanings of words.
by Anonymous | reply 70 | September 3, 2022 6:22 AM |
I’m the new expensive appliances that develop problems in under a year. You should have bought Brand X at Walmart, anyway.
by Anonymous | reply 71 | September 3, 2022 6:30 AM |
I'm the three pop-ups you have to close on every fucking webpage.
by Anonymous | reply 72 | September 3, 2022 7:35 AM |
@r71, Walmart doesn't sell major appliances 🤔
by Anonymous | reply 73 | September 3, 2022 8:04 AM |
I am the thick, hard, plastic package wrapping that you can't open.
by Anonymous | reply 74 | September 3, 2022 8:42 AM |
[quote] Let’s be annoying shit
I'm "be annoying" and I'm a transitive verb.
A transitive verb requires an object to receive the action.
The four letter word at the end of the sentence is the object that receives the action.
by Anonymous | reply 75 | September 3, 2022 8:55 AM |
I'm the caftan that keeps getting stuck in my owners crack.
by Anonymous | reply 76 | September 3, 2022 9:05 AM |
@r75, Well, Professor Fatbottom, give us an example how you would improve that sentence
by Anonymous | reply 77 | September 3, 2022 9:26 AM |
I'm the crying at the funeral of a TikToker who died filming herself performing an attention seeking but moronic stunt. There's someone in the crowd who is secretly snickering at the irony.
by Anonymous | reply 78 | September 3, 2022 10:35 AM |
R74 I am the same fucking, annoying thing!!
by Anonymous | reply 79 | September 3, 2022 10:52 AM |
I’m winter gear.
Good luck finding a place to store me for 10 months out of the year, faggots!
by Anonymous | reply 81 | September 3, 2022 12:52 PM |
I’m a reddish orange stain on your piece of tupperware.
You can soak me until the cows come home, hand wash me, run me through every setting on the dishwasher.
Accept it, you can’t do shit about me, sucka!
by Anonymous | reply 82 | September 3, 2022 12:54 PM |
I’m a carpet buckle that appeared after you slid your dresser across the room during a piped up “redecorating” session.
You could have avoided me by picking up the dresser properly and carrying it, but that would involve another person setting foot in your bedroom…
by Anonymous | reply 83 | September 3, 2022 12:57 PM |
I'm the loud, bald, morbidly obese host on msnbc. i can't express a thought unless i use the expressions "y'all" and "Folk". It's exhausting being so outraged all the time. Can I get a witness?
by Anonymous | reply 84 | September 3, 2022 12:57 PM |
I’m a visible abrasion on your painted wall.
I’m not enough to repaint the wall, but I catch your eye 50 times a day.
by Anonymous | reply 85 | September 3, 2022 12:58 PM |
I’m your old-ass sink.
You’ve been meaning to tear me out and replace me. As it is, you have to disassemble my pipes to unclog the drain. I’m probably a Euro design from the 70s.
Ha ha!
by Anonymous | reply 86 | September 3, 2022 1:01 PM |
I’m cut flower food.
I exist plentifully, but divided into little packets and located somewhere behind the unmanned flower desk in the grocery store.
Try finding a big bottle of me! Or a small bottle!
Just try…I’ll wait.
by Anonymous | reply 87 | September 3, 2022 1:07 PM |
I am the electronic mailbox that is always full.
by Anonymous | reply 88 | September 3, 2022 1:19 PM |
I’m those spiky gum balls that fall off the tree into your yard.
by Anonymous | reply 89 | September 3, 2022 1:56 PM |
I'm a customer service automated menu that will take you in perpetual circles and never lead you to a live human being. Or if you do somehow reach one, they will end up transferring you back to the land of the endless hold.
by Anonymous | reply 90 | September 3, 2022 2:01 PM |
I’m the SJW Twitter gays who think it’s hysterical to keep joking that Lea Michele is illiterate. God forbid anyone joke about or even suggest the illiteracy of a POC, but THIS joke about a white bitch who threatened to shit in a wig (cancel her forever!!!) is the best. I will keep tweeting that she can’t read and thinking I’m hilarious and clever until the cows come home.
by Anonymous | reply 91 | September 3, 2022 2:12 PM |
I’m the prospect of sending Christmas cards.
by Anonymous | reply 92 | September 3, 2022 2:13 PM |
I'm also this other fucking annoying thing!
by Anonymous | reply 93 | September 3, 2022 2:26 PM |
^^^It was meant to be R79 not R7
by Anonymous | reply 94 | September 3, 2022 2:26 PM |
iI'm the driver ahead of you that thinks that every red light and stop light is an opportunity to check the phone, send texts and make phone calls oblivious to the changing light.
by Anonymous | reply 95 | September 3, 2022 2:29 PM |
I’m the horn button, R95&R66, on a Fleetwood Cadillac which is often used in response to message retrieval by others ahead of wherever I’m going when they’re stopped at a light.
I’m almost as loud as the fog horn on the Ile de France and induce sheer terror in the drivers in front of me.
by Anonymous | reply 96 | September 3, 2022 2:44 PM |
I'm the guy who thinks it's his God-given right to drive 5 miles under the speed limit in the passing lane even when cars are backed up a mile behind him
Out of all the jerk driving maneuvers I hate this one the most 😠
by Anonymous | reply 97 | September 3, 2022 3:07 PM |
I’m a big scuff mark on your dress shoe.
I was not there this morning.
by Anonymous | reply 98 | September 3, 2022 3:19 PM |
I’m the marketing emails that somehow evade capture by Google’s “Promotions” tab.
I make you so angry you almost unsubscribe, but then you think “I always forget about Kevin’s Outdoor, they had some good stuff...”
This scenario will be repeated at least every two weeks.
by Anonymous | reply 99 | September 3, 2022 3:23 PM |
I'm the push this push that listening carefully the options have changed, before you get to the call centre.
by Anonymous | reply 100 | September 3, 2022 3:24 PM |
I’m the first pancake.
I’m a MESS.
by Anonymous | reply 101 | September 3, 2022 3:25 PM |
I'm the egg all over your counter because the shell decided to shatter into a million pieces after a gentle tap.
by Anonymous | reply 102 | September 3, 2022 3:34 PM |
I’m rock hard butter.
Checkmate, ya fat whores!
by Anonymous | reply 103 | September 3, 2022 3:37 PM |
I'm the pan that everything sticks to no matter how much previously rock-hard butter has been thrown into it.
by Anonymous | reply 104 | September 3, 2022 3:39 PM |
I’m the cheap table salt at an expensive restaurant.
I force you to ask for kosher or sea salt, resulting in a barely-concealed eye roll by your waiter, Kris.
by Anonymous | reply 105 | September 3, 2022 3:40 PM |
I am the adhesive residue on your new sunglasses, and other smooth surfaces. My cousins are the small stickers on cucumbers and tomatoes. We’re here to stay.
by Anonymous | reply 106 | September 3, 2022 3:41 PM |
I’m your cast iron pan. I taunt you every time you open that cabinet.
You read a bunch of articles a couple years ago about cast iron, got drunk at multiple brunches and started lecturing the room on the many virtues of this material.
You can’t use me on your glass stove, idiot. Also, is the swipe of oil you rubbed on me two years ago supposed to smell like that?
You actively avoid looking at me now.
by Anonymous | reply 107 | September 3, 2022 3:44 PM |
I'm the English language option on a government agency number in the USA, after the option to continue in Spanish.
by Anonymous | reply 108 | September 3, 2022 4:23 PM |
R93 I’m the electrostatic force that keeps that plastic seal clinging to your fingers as you try to shake me off.
by Anonymous | reply 109 | September 3, 2022 4:30 PM |
Annoying shit? Right wing trolls defined.
by Anonymous | reply 111 | September 3, 2022 4:39 PM |
I'm R105 at a local diner asking for Himalayan pink salt for his corned beef hash.
by Anonymous | reply 113 | September 3, 2022 5:09 PM |
I’m Linda with the Department of Tax Fraud, conveniently located in Peshawar.
Please to be returning call, American silly silly!
by Anonymous | reply 114 | September 3, 2022 5:36 PM |
I’m the fine layer of dust that settles over your belongings when you use Puffs Plus tissues.
by Anonymous | reply 115 | September 3, 2022 5:40 PM |
R115 not Kleenex?
by Anonymous | reply 116 | September 3, 2022 5:43 PM |
I’m the collective mailbox in an apartment or condo building.
I’m a huge fucking hassle.
by Anonymous | reply 117 | September 3, 2022 5:43 PM |
Kleenex is too hard on the nose, breh!
by Anonymous | reply 118 | September 3, 2022 5:44 PM |
MARY!!!!! r118
by Anonymous | reply 119 | September 3, 2022 5:45 PM |
While that is irksome R97, I give you the guy who thinks the interstate is a video game and constantly switches from lane to lane, squeezing into whatever small openings he can find without warning, startling other drivers who often pump on their brakes and barely miss having the cars behind them plow into them.. only to arrive at the toll booth at the same time as everyone else.
He is at least tied with the Slow Passing Lane driver
by Anonymous | reply 120 | September 3, 2022 5:45 PM |
I’m your upstairs condo neighbor.
You’re pretty sure I’m an ISIS sleeper cell, because something keeps dripping from my balcony onto yours.
by Anonymous | reply 121 | September 3, 2022 5:47 PM |
I’m the really old, 1/3 filled water bottle mysteriously sitting in the right hand back seat door pocket that you keep forgetting to throw away.
by Anonymous | reply 122 | September 3, 2022 6:10 PM |
I'm the great mystery of the just-rolled joint - that joint you JUST got twisted into form when something unexpected occurs. The doorbell rings. The phone rings. Pot suddenly boils over on the stove. Whatever. You had to abandon the spliff to take care of something unexpectedly. When you return, you cannot find that joint anywhere. You retrace your steps and movements again and again, and you cannot find it anywhere. Months go by and periodically, you will recreate the scene in the hopes of finding it with no success. It seems to have vanished into thin air. Annoying!
by Anonymous | reply 123 | September 3, 2022 6:32 PM |
^ Tee, Hee... I'm your neighbor who sneaks in and steals your joints when you're so easily distracted.. Good stuff, man 👍
by Anonymous | reply 124 | September 3, 2022 7:00 PM |
I’m the flaw in the corner paint in the hallway of your building that looks exactly like a horrible bug as you approach it.
I get you every time.
by Anonymous | reply 125 | September 3, 2022 7:48 PM |
I'm the college prof using the latest blended pedagogies to partially successfully keep students OFF THEIR GODDAMNED PHONES and interacting with each other and the course subject. The very second any class or task is considered completed, back they go to the ether.
by Anonymous | reply 126 | September 3, 2022 8:14 PM |
I’m blended pedagogies.
by Anonymous | reply 127 | September 3, 2022 8:18 PM |
I'm the day in your 40s when you look down and realize you have hairless old man ankles.
Now I'm the many days you spend on public transport marveling at young men's virile healthy pilosity continuing down the shins to the feet.
by Anonymous | reply 128 | September 3, 2022 8:18 PM |
I'm the crowded city bus without air conditioning.
by Anonymous | reply 129 | September 3, 2022 8:19 PM |
Im a yellowed toenail that’s caught your eye in public.
by Anonymous | reply 130 | September 3, 2022 8:19 PM |
I'm that moment at 4 AM when you feel that you're about to fall asleep finally when all of a sudden you hear the sound of a mosquito!
by Anonymous | reply 131 | September 3, 2022 8:22 PM |
I'm the vintage 80s powerhouse fragrance that has miraculously survived the decades intact, top notes included, until the one day this year you revisit it, but now it's gone off. Bye bye! 😭
by Anonymous | reply 132 | September 3, 2022 8:22 PM |
Dang, r132
:(
by Anonymous | reply 133 | September 3, 2022 8:24 PM |
I'm the young folks out on the city streets in the middle of the summer night passing under your window, having a good time. Our commotion isn't annoying at all, it's gorgeous, rather the sad nostalgia we sometimes evoke in the old coot on the 3rd floor is.
by Anonymous | reply 134 | September 3, 2022 8:26 PM |
I'm the phone call asking about your car warranty.
by Anonymous | reply 135 | September 3, 2022 8:27 PM |
I'm the jar of Italian delicacy hauled all the way back from Italy, smashed in a fragrant oily mess of roasted radicchio and glass shards, on the kitchen's tile floor.
by Anonymous | reply 136 | September 3, 2022 8:29 PM |
I'm the price of basil when you don't have a place to grow your own.
by Anonymous | reply 137 | September 3, 2022 8:30 PM |
I’m that funky, barely perceptible smell when the fraus in the office are hosting Aunt Flo.
I’m unbelievably distracting and foul.
by Anonymous | reply 138 | September 3, 2022 8:30 PM |
I'm the apartment neighbor who hangs her laundry outside on the common lines in such an expressionistic way that a dozen items take up all the space that could handle 6x that number.
by Anonymous | reply 139 | September 3, 2022 8:31 PM |
I'm "what are you looking for?"
My brother is called "into?", his ugly sister goes by "xxx pics?"
by Anonymous | reply 140 | September 3, 2022 8:32 PM |
I'm the person, 85% of the time a cunty woman, in your building who places one giant very sturdy intact cardboard shipping box, the exact size of the enormous "paper and cardboard" recycling bin, into the bin 2 hours after it's been emptied, entirely filling it for the next 6.5 days.
by Anonymous | reply 141 | September 3, 2022 8:35 PM |
I’m a faulty onion brought by the Instacart guy.
To an amateur, I appear fine, but you instantly note my lack of firmness, my breached hull, my discolored and exposed membranes.
You frown at me.
by Anonymous | reply 142 | September 3, 2022 8:36 PM |
W&W, r141.
by Anonymous | reply 143 | September 3, 2022 8:37 PM |
I'm the mid-sized city that just lost its last locally owned expertly staffed hardware store. I'm the same city a year before when it lost its last locally owned and expertly staffed farm and garden centre.
by Anonymous | reply 144 | September 3, 2022 8:42 PM |
I'm the trainee cashier who is gobsmacked when someone hands her a hundred dollar bill and 3 in change for a 12.99 pack of beer. I am frozen, unable to manage.
by Anonymous | reply 145 | September 3, 2022 8:47 PM |
I'm the stupid "good samaritan" who puts out his arms to block everyone and to usher the lady with the double stroller to get on the city bus first. Then, her double stroller effectively blocks the passage to all the others attempting to board the bus.
by Anonymous | reply 146 | September 3, 2022 8:50 PM |
[quote] I'm the protective foil/plastic seal on almost every condiment, vitamin or OTC medicine bottle. Often, I have no tab that could make my removal more convenient.
I JUST had to open a new bottle of vitamins, encountered this exact thing, and IMMEDIATELY thought of your post, R11.
by Anonymous | reply 147 | September 3, 2022 8:52 PM |
i’m the asshole at work that wants to “solution a problem” by looking for a “solve’ for the ask
by Anonymous | reply 148 | September 3, 2022 8:55 PM |
I'm the person you got on the phone for technical help with a computer issue. I am from another country. I have a thick accent and I get curt with you for not understanding me and behave as if you are stupid.
by Anonymous | reply 149 | September 3, 2022 9:03 PM |
I'm that phone call you just picked up warning you that your car warranty is about to expire.
by Anonymous | reply 150 | September 3, 2022 9:06 PM |
I’m the slight delay on the cable remote.
by Anonymous | reply 151 | September 3, 2022 9:09 PM |
I'm your boss.
by Anonymous | reply 152 | September 3, 2022 9:10 PM |
I'm reading a post with no punctuation.
by Anonymous | reply 153 | September 3, 2022 9:13 PM |
I’m Microsoft Office Suite.
Subscribe or fuck off, cunts!
The one and done purchase is dead 💀
by Anonymous | reply 154 | September 3, 2022 9:27 PM |
[quote]I'm the jar of Italian delicacy hauled all the way back from Italy, smashed in a fragrant oily mess of roasted radicchio and glass shards, on the kitchen's tile floor.
I feel your pain. This has happened to me.
by Anonymous | reply 155 | September 3, 2022 10:13 PM |
[quote] I’m a concert and everyone is standing the entire time while filming on their phone.
Not just filming, but holding their phones way up in the air so the people behind them have an even harder time seeing the band. At one concert, some asshole held his drink up in the air with one arm and his phone up in the air with the other for song after song.
by Anonymous | reply 156 | September 3, 2022 10:34 PM |
R90, R100, I'm the attempt to mash zero 15 times to reach an actual human. I only work five times out of 10 tries. My Act Two is sending you back to the on-hold-song-that-never-ends.
by Anonymous | reply 157 | September 3, 2022 11:12 PM |
I'm the neighbour's dog shit and the plague cloud of flies that accompanies it.
by Anonymous | reply 158 | September 3, 2022 11:43 PM |
People who insist on writing their names in all lower case.
by Anonymous | reply 159 | September 3, 2022 11:46 PM |
Oops. Trying again.
I'm the person who insists on writing my name in all lower case letters.
I'm usually in an MFA program.
by Anonymous | reply 160 | September 3, 2022 11:51 PM |
I’m multi-factor authentication.
by Anonymous | reply 161 | September 4, 2022 12:13 AM |
I'm having to show my ID to buy booze, even though I'm clearly a classmate of Methuselah's.
But it's not the cashier's fault, so I smile and hold it up every time.
by Anonymous | reply 162 | September 4, 2022 1:28 AM |
I'm the relentless Kevin Hart Freedom Visa commercials on Comet Channel that are turning my weeknightly attempts to enjoy binging "X Files" reruns into hell!
by Anonymous | reply 163 | September 4, 2022 3:41 AM |
I’m the thousands of steps involved in buying gifts to send to ungrateful cunt family members in another state, wrapping them attractively yet securely, putting them in a special decorative cardboard interior box, padding everything so the corners and bows won’t be smashed, ordering shipping boxes and bubble wrap and Kraft paper and shipping tape to be delivered from target, assembling and taping up the shipping boxes, padding the interior decorative box inside the shipping box so absolutely nothing moves, taping up the shipping box, weighing the shipping box, looking online for a decent shipping deal, paying for two day shipping with UPS or whomever, typing up the shipping info on the label, printing it out, cutting the label off the paper, taping the label to the box so that the bar codes aren’t obscured by tape, double checking the hours of the distribution center, taking the boxes down to the car, loading them, driving to the distro center, waiting in line to make sure the hag at the counter scans them in, then collapsing in your car in silence, while smoking a cigarette, contemplating the meaningless of all human endeavor.
by Anonymous | reply 164 | September 4, 2022 3:56 AM |
Send gift cards, r164. And stop smoking.
by Anonymous | reply 165 | September 4, 2022 3:59 AM |
I’d be disowned, r165.
Nevertheless, enjoy it while it lasts, cunts!
by Anonymous | reply 166 | September 4, 2022 4:03 AM |
That rotten bellybutton smell, on oneself or other.
by Anonymous | reply 167 | September 4, 2022 4:10 AM |
A mysterious longish hair and some crumbs in your car’s cup holder.
by Anonymous | reply 168 | September 4, 2022 4:14 AM |
^^ *I’m that…
by Anonymous | reply 169 | September 4, 2022 4:14 AM |
I’m the large intake vent in your building’s hallway. About once a year, I emit a strong and peculiar smell. One year it might be dill, another year, stuffing that’s gone bad.
Maintenance will swear to Allah they cannot smell my odors. After two months of threatening calls, the office will grudgingly call a technician to come poke around inside me and will inevitably find a pool of stagnant water, dead raccoon, grey water contaminatia, a smoldering Sumerian witches’ Zisurrû, or god knows what. When you pass the Cuntessa property manager in the mail room, she will give no hint that a solution has been found, and could have been found two months ago.
You will have to get the goss from your neighbor across the hall, who hates you because Amazon once left a package at your condo door instead of the mailroom.
by Anonymous | reply 170 | September 4, 2022 4:24 AM |
I'm here just to talk about your car's extended warranty.
by Anonymous | reply 171 | September 4, 2022 4:37 AM |
I'm the social media post from baristas and waiters with dead end jobs, complaining and making fun about people orders. We make them feel "superior"
by Anonymous | reply 172 | September 4, 2022 4:51 AM |
I'm the family of five that insists on leisurely strolling arm in arm, creating a wall of people on the sidewalk directly in front of you, especially when you're in a hurry.
by Anonymous | reply 173 | September 4, 2022 5:15 AM |
I'm the screaming lap babies in 5C and 8B.
You are the passenger in 6C, getting it in stereo.
by Anonymous | reply 174 | September 4, 2022 5:19 AM |
I’m the crying baby at Target. My pig of a mother won’t smother me, but every other shopper gladly will.
by Anonymous | reply 175 | September 4, 2022 12:23 PM |
I’m the $2000 worth of unpaid parking tickets a friend found stuffed under the driver’s seat of her car, leading to the end of her relationship with her BF. He was two-timing her with a “lingerie model” whose apartment did not have ample free parking nearby.
by Anonymous | reply 176 | September 4, 2022 12:43 PM |
I'm the annoying frau wife who has always to butt into her husband's medical related phone calls.
by Anonymous | reply 177 | September 4, 2022 1:01 PM |
I bought your work email address on a list of live sales leads, and I’m emailing you a fourth time because you deleted my first three chirpy emails asking to to “hop on a call or zoom” to see how we can “help each other” and align brands. I want to sell you the same list of emails I bought to reach you. My digital strategy is the best…
by Anonymous | reply 178 | September 4, 2022 1:45 PM |
I’m that DL poster who posts the same comment that someone posted earlier on a thread that only has a dozen replies. I don’t read other comments, obviously. Am I interested in other people’s opinions? Of course not. I only care that I am heard.
by Anonymous | reply 179 | September 4, 2022 4:06 PM |
I’m your twitching eye lid.
by Anonymous | reply 180 | September 4, 2022 4:33 PM |
I am the young cashier chirpily asking if you're a senior. Uh why? Because then you get a brown paper bag(cost 10 cents) for free! God will you cut short this young life? Like now?
by Anonymous | reply 181 | September 4, 2022 4:34 PM |
I'm the annoying glum photos of Fat Albert of Monaco and his sullen wife and their despondent looking children of the corn in the Daily Mail.
Get the fuck divorced already! I'm tired of ghostly Charlene's wan pained expression. She was smiling just fine in South Africa. No she can't have custody of the kids but it's not like she wouldn't see them ever again. It wouldn't be any different than a divorced father seeing his kids on weekends, may once during the week and during school breaks. How much does she see them now anyway what with nannies doing all the routine day to day things with them.
Perhaps this is the real reason Muriel has banned Daily Mail links, she doesn't want to see this ghoulish, morose family either.
by Anonymous | reply 182 | September 4, 2022 5:13 PM |
R181 I’m at the next counter, asking a customer 18 items if they’d like a bag.
by Anonymous | reply 183 | September 4, 2022 5:14 PM |
Hi! I am Neighbor44 on the Ring Neighbor app. Somebody broke into my 2005 Altima last night. Yes my doors were unlocked. No they got nothing of value. I just felt like everybody needed to know this at 7:15AM on Saturday morning. Lock your doors people!
by Anonymous | reply 184 | September 4, 2022 6:03 PM |
W&W, r184
by Anonymous | reply 185 | September 4, 2022 6:07 PM |
I’m LED lights.
by Anonymous | reply 186 | September 4, 2022 6:18 PM |
I'm the asshole neighbor setting off fireworks at 2:00 am just for shits and giggles. I'll do this repeatedly throughout the summer.
by Anonymous | reply 187 | September 4, 2022 6:18 PM |
And I am Neighbor44 on the Ring Neighbor app asking if that was gunfire I heard.
by Anonymous | reply 188 | September 4, 2022 6:25 PM |
I'm the parents who think nothing of bringing a screaming baby or bratty, bored, restless toddler to a coffee shop where people are trying to work or have a conversation.
by Anonymous | reply 189 | September 4, 2022 6:27 PM |
I am the bombastic man of God known as "Rev" when I appear on TV or even on my own show. I make no apologies for the liars and con artists I have advocated for (You are welcome Ms. Brawley). I survive on outrage and frequent flyer miles from jetting around the country exploiting people's grief. I should fire my barber but his malfeasance is my trademark. I offer no positive solutions just grievances. Without the media , I am nothing....not even a street corner preacher.
by Anonymous | reply 190 | September 4, 2022 6:35 PM |
I’m the rapid-fire vocal fry of a fresh out of college recruiter from a creative talent placement agency that ghosts you after one week. And I’m the other recruiter that presents you for jobs that are misaligned to your skills and decides she will not work with you anymore.
by Anonymous | reply 191 | September 4, 2022 7:02 PM |
I'm the last three or four inches of dental floss on the spool.
You pull me out, expecting there to be a lot more of me... but there isn't.
You can't wrap me around your fingers. Trying to use me is futile because I'm not long enough.
I immediately wind up in the garbage.
But I'll be back when you get to the end of your next spool.
by Anonymous | reply 192 | September 4, 2022 10:24 PM |
I’m the ‘please see cashier’ message on the gas pump.
by Anonymous | reply 193 | September 4, 2022 10:50 PM |
Good one r193
by Anonymous | reply 194 | September 4, 2022 10:56 PM |
I'm the automated voice at any self check out!
by Anonymous | reply 195 | September 4, 2022 11:15 PM |
I'm the pedant who applauds R148.
by Anonymous | reply 196 | September 4, 2022 11:29 PM |
I’m that great movie you are enjoying that leads you to the end like a dog on a leash and then sticks on an ending that leaves it up to you to decide what happened.
by Anonymous | reply 197 | September 5, 2022 12:12 AM |
I’m the check engine light.
by Anonymous | reply 198 | September 5, 2022 12:15 AM |
I'm the unexpected red light that makes you look like an asshole after you've zoomed past someone for going too slow.
by Anonymous | reply 199 | September 5, 2022 3:58 AM |
r199 I'm the 97-year-old assisted living resident who was driving 15 miles under the speed limit and made you catch the red light in the first place.
by Anonymous | reply 200 | September 5, 2022 5:31 AM |
I'm the automated checkout voice telling you to "Please remove the last unscanned item. Always remember to scan items before placing them in the bagging area" followed shortly by "Help is on the way."
by Anonymous | reply 201 | September 5, 2022 3:03 PM |
I’m the sidewalks of San Francisco.
by Anonymous | reply 202 | September 5, 2022 3:29 PM |
R201 😉
by Anonymous | reply 203 | September 5, 2022 4:10 PM |
I am covered with annoying shit. I am the condom that you used after your partner assured you he was clean and douched. surprise!! Double surprise: I broke and you might want to get tested.
by Anonymous | reply 204 | September 5, 2022 5:42 PM |
I'm the very rare Datalounger (R204) who has a grasp the English language.
by Anonymous | reply 205 | September 5, 2022 10:05 PM |
I'm the motorist in front of you, doodly-doodly-dooing down the road obliviously under the speed limit, until the light turns yellow and I hit the gas, leaving you at the red.
by Anonymous | reply 206 | September 5, 2022 10:40 PM |
I’m the shit you have to take now that you just got out of the shower.
by Anonymous | reply 207 | September 5, 2022 11:11 PM |
^ Good one
by Anonymous | reply 208 | September 5, 2022 11:24 PM |
And I'm the buckets that you sweat after showing.
by Anonymous | reply 209 | September 5, 2022 11:41 PM |
And showering.
by Anonymous | reply 210 | September 5, 2022 11:41 PM |
i am the chorus member who has to sing louder than everyone else rather than blend because the rest of you have neither the talent nor the training that I so obviously have.
by Anonymous | reply 211 | September 6, 2022 1:28 PM |
I’m the faucet in your office kitchen, always mysteriously left in “spray mode”, to splash water all over you when you turn it on. Seriously, the toggle valve on a kitchen faucet sounds like a good idea, until you get splattered.
by Anonymous | reply 212 | September 6, 2022 11:25 PM |
I’m the dishwasher that looks like it was loaded by a drunk and blind amputee.
by Anonymous | reply 213 | September 7, 2022 12:38 PM |
I'm trying but failing to ignore that no variety of Guerlain terra cotta quite works with the state of the art bluetooth and voice controlled lighting you've installed in your salon and boudoir.
by Anonymous | reply 214 | September 7, 2022 12:45 PM |
I’m light misty rain that sort of spits in your face.
by Anonymous | reply 215 | September 7, 2022 12:48 PM |
I'm the idiot driving straight down the middle of a two-lane parking lot row. I will reluctantly veer to the correct side when you're approaching and will give you the skunk eye as you pass me even though I am the idiot in this situation.
by Anonymous | reply 216 | September 8, 2022 6:49 AM |
I'm a little penis riding a crotch rocket without a muffler.
by Anonymous | reply 217 | September 8, 2022 7:54 AM |
R164 You need to post this on the 'overwhelming' thread. I was exhausted reading it.
by Anonymous | reply 218 | September 8, 2022 8:03 AM |
I'm the skin tabs that have shown up on my body since I turned 60. WTF are these things? EG pimples?
by Anonymous | reply 219 | September 8, 2022 8:07 AM |
R219 ugh! I have them too. Seriously thinking of having them lasered off. They're disgusting. Mine started around age 50'ish.
by Anonymous | reply 220 | September 8, 2022 10:11 AM |
I’m your car’s tire pressure warning light, flashing menacingly on an unusually cool morning. Go ahead…ignore me. Just wear clean underwear for the EMS team.
by Anonymous | reply 221 | September 8, 2022 10:49 AM |
Bored, sullen sub-teens walking around on the street outside, endlessly bouncing their stupid basketballs. Yeah, OK, buck: You're a jock! Go somewhere and shoot some hoops. Or put it the fuck away.
by Anonymous | reply 222 | September 8, 2022 1:53 PM |
I'm the lawnmower at 6am.
by Anonymous | reply 223 | September 8, 2022 3:05 PM |
I'm the ebay seller that has Make an Offer but is only willing to accept a piddling reduction of the item's price.
by Anonymous | reply 224 | September 8, 2022 3:56 PM |
And they have no concept of negotiating, r224. I've stopped with them, unless it's something I really want.
by Anonymous | reply 225 | September 8, 2022 4:14 PM |
I'm cruising down the highway on your motorcycle with no helmet and a tank top when it begins raining. Annoying, and that shit HURTS!
by Anonymous | reply 226 | September 8, 2022 9:37 PM |
I'm the item that you wanted at the grocery store and the empty shelf where it is normally housed.
by Anonymous | reply 227 | September 8, 2022 11:03 PM |
I'm the grocery store that moves your favorite items to new locations it seems every six months.
by Anonymous | reply 228 | September 8, 2022 11:46 PM |
I'm the 24/7 multiple days of coverage of some Queen's death.
by Anonymous | reply 229 | September 9, 2022 1:02 AM |
Sending an email at 4:36 pm, then calling the next morning at 8:06 am.
Repeatedly not doing business correctly, like not following instructions. This goes for co-workers and other businesses as well. Like when I tell one of my suppliers that *I* do ALL the ordering, and email is the best way to communicate. He stops by the office ALL THE TIME & will stand and talk to two other co-workers (their desks are closest to the door, unfortunately) about supply orders, questions he had, telling them stuff where they have no fucking clue what he's talking about. They have told him he should email that info to me *wink wink* but he still doesn't get it. Doesn't help that my coworkers are attractive females and I'm an ancient homo.
by Anonymous | reply 230 | September 9, 2022 1:31 AM |
[quote]I'm the phone call asking about your car warranty.
I'm the next call asking about your home mortgage (you live in an apartment) and the call after that suggesting a reverse mortgage (on the home you don't own because you live in an apartment).
by Anonymous | reply 231 | September 9, 2022 4:29 AM |
I’m your partner’s friends from before the two of you were a couple.
by Anonymous | reply 232 | September 9, 2022 4:31 AM |
I'm the act of waiting in line at a convenience store before work while someone goes through 50 lottery and scratch tickets at the counter while engaging in conversation with the employee for a good 10-20 minutes.
by Anonymous | reply 233 | September 9, 2022 1:29 PM |
I'm the cashier whose brain visibly short circuits and goes full deer in headlights because you've asked them for anything even slightly out of the ordinary like extra pickles or split payment.
by Anonymous | reply 234 | September 9, 2022 5:15 PM |
I’m one of five subscription cards that fallout of the car magazine. The one that I already subscribe to. D’oh!
by Anonymous | reply 235 | September 10, 2022 4:04 PM |
I'm the person in the big SUV blocking the mini-mall driveway as I wait for the heavy traffic to clear to make my turn. I've maneuvered onto that imaginary line separating incoming and outgoing traffic because I just don't care.
by Anonymous | reply 236 | September 10, 2022 5:03 PM |
I'm "speakerphone".
by Anonymous | reply 237 | September 11, 2022 3:08 PM |
You're
by Anonymous | reply 238 | September 11, 2022 3:08 PM |
I’m the millennial/late Gen X children of friends and relatives who, like lemmings, all decided to get married in 2020, 2021, and 2022. The unprecedented avalanche of wedding, shower, and bachelor/bachelorette party invitations creates interpersonal turmoil and financial hardship among family members and friends who are suddenly expected to shell out thousands of dollars in gifts. Elderly, immunocompromised relatives must also obsess over whether or not they should go to Madysyn’s 2022 wedding when they had to skip Bailee’s 2020 wedding because of COVID because it wouldn’t be fair to go to one grandchild’s event and not the other’s blah blah blah.
Even though these couples are in their 30s and 40s they expect ALL THE TRAPPINGS of a Cinderella wedding RIGHT NOW!
by Anonymous | reply 239 | September 11, 2022 4:09 PM |
I'm a TV reporter, interviewing a child who's been dragged along to something they basically don't understand.
by Anonymous | reply 240 | September 11, 2022 6:29 PM |
I’m those irritating tourists from China poking innocent onlookers in the face with selfie sticks in every European city.
by Anonymous | reply 241 | September 11, 2022 6:33 PM |
R222 is Frieda Claxton
by Anonymous | reply 242 | September 11, 2022 6:45 PM |
I’m the brand of dried fruit your partner suddenly demands. He claims he saw me at your local grocery store, but no one at said store has ever heard of me.
You happen to see me three months later. I am displayed on two shin-high shelves in a remote and untrafficked corner in the produce section, under the specialty onion bin.
by Anonymous | reply 243 | September 11, 2022 7:17 PM |
I'm seeds in oranges.
by Anonymous | reply 244 | September 11, 2022 7:24 PM |
I'm the ludicrously long standing ovations at international film festivals.
by Anonymous | reply 245 | September 11, 2022 7:26 PM |
I'm tired of the "there's already a thread on this topic" trolls. This must be all they do all day, search DL for duplicate threads. Who cares? Is it such an imposition on your time to post to a couple similar threads or ignore them?
by Anonymous | reply 246 | September 16, 2022 3:49 PM |
I’m your favorite grocery item that has now disappeared because the company has gone out of business.
by Anonymous | reply 247 | September 16, 2022 6:13 PM |
^ I'm the discontinued pet food that will be a bitch to replace because it's the only one your pet will eat.
by Anonymous | reply 248 | September 17, 2022 2:02 AM |
I'm the fucking asshole who leaves a 5 star rating for an online recipe, titled FANTASTIC!. In the fine print, I admit that I did not actually follow the recipe. " I made the shrimp scampi but with salmon and tomato sauce instead of shrimp and garlic. Also I served it on rice instead of spaghetti. Oh and I added turmeric rather than lemon juice. And instead of white wine I used hummus. Yum!". These stupid assholes always drive mediocre recipes to the top rated section.
by Anonymous | reply 249 | September 28, 2022 4:20 AM |
I'm the whining American non-entity.
by Anonymous | reply 250 | September 28, 2022 4:25 AM |
I'm the person who keeps insisting I can film things on my phone even though my phone contains NO film. I suppose I could say with more accuracy that I record things on my phone, but why?
by Anonymous | reply 251 | September 28, 2022 4:52 AM |
Could it be like calling lps albums when they were no longer kept in albums?
by Anonymous | reply 252 | September 28, 2022 5:01 AM |
The current online epidemic of using language like "Meet the Ashton Pant" in pretentious advertisements for overpriced, underwhelming clothes.
by Anonymous | reply 253 | September 28, 2022 12:35 PM |
I'm waiting on hold. I'm also that warning that they won't tolerate abusive language etc. That's we really don't give a shit, we now so don't give a shit we're going to push you past your breaking point and we still don't give a shit.
by Anonymous | reply 254 | September 28, 2022 2:06 PM |
R253 the most annoying and pretentious advertising cliche is “the edit,” as if Anna Wintour herself is curating my online search for a pair of jeans:
The Holiday Edit
The Fall Edit
The Wedding Edit
The Stick Your Hand Down Your Pants Edit
And so on….
by Anonymous | reply 255 | September 29, 2022 1:32 AM |
I'm a bathroom with no fan or ventilation.
by Anonymous | reply 256 | September 29, 2022 2:23 AM |
[quote]I'm waiting on hold. I'm also that warning that they won't tolerate abusive language etc.
I'm the first thing this person says after they reach someone: " I have a really odd question / I have a weird request / I'm kind of in an odd situation / so this is kind of a long story... "
by Anonymous | reply 257 | September 29, 2022 2:28 AM |
I'm the person in the audience who, when handed the mic for a question, begins with "This is more a statement than a question, but ... "
by Anonymous | reply 258 | September 29, 2022 11:29 PM |
I’m the four different supermarket customers with four separate shopping carts that seem to have just converged at precisely the same time and at exactly the same spot as you in the aisle you just entered, which 10 seconds ago was entirely empty. And you just chose that aisle because no one was in it.
This seems to happen to me a lot, and not just in supermarkets but department stores as well.
by Anonymous | reply 259 | September 29, 2022 11:54 PM |
I'm the 350 pound mailman who crams oversized packages into a mailbox because I am too lazy to walk it to the door. I also throw my spent cigarettes on the ground in front of my customers' homes.
by Anonymous | reply 260 | September 30, 2022 8:20 PM |
I'm Xfinity Customer Service.
by Anonymous | reply 261 | September 30, 2022 8:23 PM |
I’m the gay porn star who sucks FTM clit.
by Anonymous | reply 262 | October 1, 2022 7:35 AM |
Your call is important to me...
by Anonymous | reply 263 | October 2, 2022 1:49 AM |
I'm boomer women, like my sister. I don't like to text, I find it frustrating because my thoughts are complicated and I have to EXPRESS myself. Even if it's only to confirm a date and time, I must move my jaws and emit sound for 20 minutes straight, and you are required to listen. Call me. Or pick up that phone, whatever you're doing. I WANT TO TALK ON THE TELEPHONE.
by Anonymous | reply 264 | October 6, 2022 2:22 PM |
I'm the Apple terms and conditions that are updated every 2 days.
by Anonymous | reply 265 | October 6, 2022 2:51 PM |
I'm the musty, lingering smell of weed in the Uber.
by Anonymous | reply 266 | October 6, 2022 2:54 PM |
I'm the shopping cart left in parking spaces in the car park, instead of returned to the cart return corral.
by Anonymous | reply 267 | October 6, 2022 2:55 PM |
Easy- at least half the brainless posts on DL!
by Anonymous | reply 268 | October 6, 2022 2:58 PM |
I'm a website layout that is 75% advertising
by Anonymous | reply 269 | October 6, 2022 3:00 PM |
I’m the Jerkmate ad.
by Anonymous | reply 270 | October 6, 2022 3:47 PM |
Oh, and I'm also the sour comment my boomer sister made when I returned her call just now:
"Your timing sucks, I'm about to have lunch."
by Anonymous | reply 271 | October 6, 2022 6:36 PM |
I'm the demand to prove you are not a robot that is on ebay and paypal now.
by Anonymous | reply 272 | October 6, 2022 7:46 PM |
"Check all the boxes with traffic signs."
* squints to see if that yield sign crosses over to the next box even one pixel, wonders whether that tiny object in the distance is a billboard or a traffic sign, etc *
by Anonymous | reply 273 | October 6, 2022 11:18 PM |
A follow-up to the "bagging area" gripe. Would it KILL these bitches to label which of the two sides is the damn bagging area? Each side is a logical contender.
by Anonymous | reply 274 | October 6, 2022 11:35 PM |
R274 I'm annoyed because I can't find the post you're referring to!
by Anonymous | reply 275 | October 7, 2022 5:18 AM |
R275 see R201
by Anonymous | reply 276 | October 7, 2022 8:39 AM |
I agree with R274. it used to be easier when they had plastic bags on the bagging side.
by Anonymous | reply 277 | October 7, 2022 9:49 AM |
how my phone keeps defaulting to the 30 second screen display and doesn't stay on 30 minutes.
by Anonymous | reply 278 | October 7, 2022 9:51 AM |
Insipid startup names like Openly, Grammarly, Talently, Brainly, Scopely, and Leafly.
by Anonymous | reply 279 | October 7, 2022 10:23 AM |
I am that bouncy annoying-as-fuck basketball or soccer ball that some asshole finds in the sporting goods section .
by Anonymous | reply 280 | October 7, 2022 10:40 AM |
Boarding group D.
by Anonymous | reply 281 | October 7, 2022 11:55 AM |
[quote]Your call is important to me...
The but if you lose your shit, we're hanging up warning.
Fair policy, no need to rub it in.
by Anonymous | reply 282 | October 7, 2022 1:56 PM |
I'm the little speck of something on the carpet that the vacuum will simply not pick up! The person vacuuming will run over me 20 times before finally giving up and bending over to pick me up.
by Anonymous | reply 283 | October 7, 2022 2:37 PM |
Dirty window screens that aren’t easily removed for washing.
by Anonymous | reply 284 | October 7, 2022 3:23 PM |
I'm the DL thread about Vivian Vance.
by Anonymous | reply 285 | October 7, 2022 3:37 PM |
When my Tramadol wears off
by Anonymous | reply 286 | October 7, 2022 3:49 PM |
R283 I'm the splotch next to you that's actually part of the Persian rug pattern, but my frustrated vacuumer still tried to pick me up every single time.
by Anonymous | reply 287 | October 7, 2022 3:52 PM |
I'm gender pronouns. God only created two sexes: woman and man.
by Anonymous | reply 288 | October 7, 2022 4:05 PM |
I'm walking directly behind you on completely empty street for no reason other than
by Anonymous | reply 289 | October 7, 2022 4:22 PM |
I'm the person at a concert, the theatre, a religious gathering, a dinner party -- whatever -- who NEVER airs out seasonally stored clothing and SMELLS LIKE MOLD. Believe me, that is a smell that is hard to get outta your nose once you're forced to sit next to/near someone who reeks of it.
by Anonymous | reply 290 | October 7, 2022 4:23 PM |
[quote]young men's virile healthy pilosity continuing down the shins to the feet.
Damn. This turned me on a little.
by Anonymous | reply 291 | October 7, 2022 5:21 PM |
I’m r230, ironically complaining about not doing business correctly by not following instructions on a “let’s be” thread.
Bitch, your whole post didn’t follow instructions.
by Anonymous | reply 292 | October 7, 2022 5:23 PM |
[quote]Could it be like calling lps albums
I’m the lack of proper capitalization that made all of us read that as ips.
by Anonymous | reply 293 | October 7, 2022 5:24 PM |
r293, I knew "lps" meant 12" phonograph records (though I likely would have typed "LPs," too).
by Anonymous | reply 294 | October 7, 2022 5:28 PM |
12”?! Oh, you’re way, way off.
😂
by Anonymous | reply 295 | October 7, 2022 5:29 PM |
R293, And I read your comment as "ass lips". You guys slay me
by Anonymous | reply 296 | October 7, 2022 5:30 PM |
I concluded people who deliberately congregate in previously empty store aisles are either shoplifting or store loss prevention agents looking for shoplifters.
Shoplifters look for distractions in order to steal, your presence is the distraction.
by Anonymous | reply 297 | October 7, 2022 5:37 PM |
I’m the ethnics who bring the entire extended clan to the ER, the grocery, the big box store.
by Anonymous | reply 298 | October 7, 2022 5:47 PM |
R298, It's so irritating and obnoxious.
by Anonymous | reply 299 | October 7, 2022 5:50 PM |
I’m group text messages.
by Anonymous | reply 300 | October 7, 2022 5:59 PM |
I’m the middle aged Frau that is bending her head down to your crotch level while you’re reading a product label in the grocery store isle. She doesn’t say excuse me, she just tries to reach closely around your ass to get a can of crushed tomatoes off of the shelf while smiling.
by Anonymous | reply 301 | October 7, 2022 6:03 PM |
I’m the Filipino mother-in-law who microwaves dried fish in your house.
by Anonymous | reply 302 | October 7, 2022 6:03 PM |
I'm the obnoxious queen who feels like he the owns the aisle. My gay friends tell me to just smile and keep it moving. It's not worth the mental fight.
by Anonymous | reply 303 | October 7, 2022 6:08 PM |
why are you reading labels inside of a store.
During the quarantine when we were forced to line up outside to keep the number of customers inside low, I would still see shoppers inside reading labels while others were shivering outside waiting for their time to shop.
by Anonymous | reply 304 | October 7, 2022 6:08 PM |
I'm the person who refuses to alternate in the double lane fast food drive through. My need to be first is so great that I fuck up the sequence of everyone's orders and cause mayhem for the staff.
by Anonymous | reply 305 | October 7, 2022 6:20 PM |
I'm the obnoxious frau who cunts into a thread on thick dicks and shrieks when she sees that gay men are posting pictures of men with thick dicks.
Seriously, r303, I'm having such a hard time perceiving you as an "ally," I wish you'd get the fucking fuck out of here, where you so very obviously DO NOT BELONG. And here's Diego. He doesn't appreciate your cunting all over the thread in which he parades proudly his penile perfection.
I don't know where you belong, r303, but it ain't here.
by Anonymous | reply 306 | October 7, 2022 6:21 PM |
I'm the straight woman whooping it up on Datalounge .
by Anonymous | reply 307 | October 7, 2022 7:14 PM |
Hunny, I'm hardly middle aged. I just turned 40 this year. And I've always felt that about explicit images on this site male or female in the past 2 years I've been coming here. I will not be going anywhere it is a free country. I will continue to enjoy this site now that I know about the settings feature.
I love my life and refuse to be put in a box.
by Anonymous | reply 308 | October 7, 2022 7:34 PM |
I'm sure the makers of this site do not intend for it to be a pornsite.
by Anonymous | reply 309 | October 7, 2022 7:39 PM |
And I'm sure you didn't intend to be the new Defagto, r309. But here you are, KatherineWhoGrates.
by Anonymous | reply 310 | October 7, 2022 8:33 PM |
[quote]I will not be going anywhere it is a free country.
You'll surely be going to the MAGA rally, invoking that kind of bullshit as a justification.
Less is more, dear.
by Anonymous | reply 311 | October 7, 2022 8:51 PM |
I humbly submit this grating commercial as well.
by Anonymous | reply 312 | October 7, 2022 8:58 PM |
R311, wrong. Im indifferent to Magas but do not like Trump. I am republican, it is just how I was raised. Voted for Hillary in 16 with much trepidation but it had to be done. I intended to vote for Obama in 12 but my hair appointment ran late. When you assume you make an ass out of...you know the rest. Proud Bush supporter in 04 and yes I'm ashamed to say I voted McCain/Palin in 08.
by Anonymous | reply 313 | October 7, 2022 9:08 PM |
Very fuckn weird
by Anonymous | reply 314 | October 7, 2022 9:29 PM |
r313 may actually be Defuckto.
by Anonymous | reply 315 | October 7, 2022 9:32 PM |
Weirdo
by Anonymous | reply 316 | October 7, 2022 9:35 PM |
[quote]I intended to vote for Obama in 12 but my hair appointment ran late.
You can't make shit like this up. Thanks, KathWhoGrates.
by Anonymous | reply 317 | October 7, 2022 9:45 PM |
Its completely making the shit up. Very dumb.
by Anonymous | reply 318 | October 7, 2022 10:02 PM |
R317, definitely you can. Blocking it.
by Anonymous | reply 319 | October 7, 2022 10:14 PM |
I'm the phone call that came in 5 minutes after the email you just sent. I would answer you, fucker but I'm still listening to the voicemail you left 10 minutes ago. Get a grip, YOU'RE NOT THE ONLY PERSON AT THIS COMPANY. Pick one fucking method of communication. If you even think about Pinging me I will block you.
by Anonymous | reply 320 | October 7, 2022 10:21 PM |
Fireworks anywhere are very annoying so that probably counts for this thread. The most annoying thing is hurricanes though
by Anonymous | reply 321 | October 7, 2022 10:26 PM |
^Dayum. Lolz
by Anonymous | reply 322 | October 7, 2022 10:27 PM |
R322 was meant for r320.
by Anonymous | reply 323 | October 7, 2022 10:27 PM |
R304 you dumb bitch.
by Anonymous | reply 324 | October 7, 2022 11:02 PM |
R324
Fuckn weirdo
by Anonymous | reply 325 | October 7, 2022 11:19 PM |
^^die in a fire
by Anonymous | reply 326 | October 7, 2022 11:23 PM |
^^^Grease fire
by Anonymous | reply 327 | October 7, 2022 11:24 PM |
Weirdo. Creep. Mouth breathing freak
by Anonymous | reply 328 | October 7, 2022 11:26 PM |
Oh you’re so vicious r328 are you posting from your room at the nursing home?
by Anonymous | reply 329 | October 7, 2022 11:58 PM |
Oh god, is Davida back?
Jesus H. Christ.
by Anonymous | reply 330 | October 8, 2022 12:32 AM |
I'm the person R320 mentioned standing behind his desk chair waiting for him to notice me so i can ask him if he read the email yet that I sent 5 minutes ago.
by Anonymous | reply 331 | October 8, 2022 12:38 AM |
This thread has turned into its topic: annoying shit. Once again, a couple queens derail an interesting thread with their petty posts.
by Anonymous | reply 332 | October 8, 2022 12:39 AM |
^^Eat shit n die trash
by Anonymous | reply 333 | October 8, 2022 12:40 AM |
Mouth breather who reads labels in busy stores with his festering monkeybox ass turned upwards.
by Anonymous | reply 334 | October 8, 2022 12:41 AM |
I'm the FedEx delivery guy who doesn't fancy exiting his damn van to ring your bell to deliver the package you've sat on your ass awaiting all day long, but decided to hit "delivered" anyway.
by Anonymous | reply 335 | October 8, 2022 12:44 AM |
I'm streaming services that force you to reenter your name and password about once a week, which you have to do by using the remote control to up-down and left-right to spell them out using the remote control.
by Anonymous | reply 336 | October 8, 2022 12:45 AM |
[quote][R313] may actually be Defuckto.
More likely Erna.
by Anonymous | reply 337 | October 8, 2022 12:50 AM |
Carrot Top.
by Anonymous | reply 338 | October 8, 2022 12:50 AM |
People who are in the stall grunting like they are birthing twins and them come out and leave without washing their hands.
by Anonymous | reply 339 | October 8, 2022 12:54 AM |
The “TQIA+” in LGBTQIA+.
by Anonymous | reply 340 | October 8, 2022 12:54 AM |
Asian people who complain about being victims of white racism, and then immediately turn around and talk shit about black people.
by Anonymous | reply 341 | October 8, 2022 12:58 AM |
I’m a slow driver in the left lane.
by Anonymous | reply 342 | October 8, 2022 1:23 AM |
^^And I never turned off my left turn signal. It will be blinking until I arrive home and park this beast in the garage.
by Anonymous | reply 343 | October 8, 2022 1:52 AM |
I'm the restaurant or food review that uses the word "mouthfeel."
by Anonymous | reply 344 | October 8, 2022 6:54 AM |
R298, you don’t to be ethnic to unload your whole fucking family at McDonalds or KFC.
Everyone stands there en masse, with big huge DUH FACES - looking up at the wall menu behind the counter.
Something that could have been a simple: “Everyone find a seat,” becomes a 20 min ordeal as everyone voices an opinion.
THREE BUCKETS TO GO PLEASE!
by Anonymous | reply 345 | October 8, 2022 10:25 AM |
I’m the receipt you now have to ask for.
by Anonymous | reply 346 | October 8, 2022 12:26 PM |
I’m the sleep timer on the TV clicking off just as you’re dozing, actually waking you up with its silence.
by Anonymous | reply 347 | October 8, 2022 1:56 PM |
I’m incessant tv commercials
by Anonymous | reply 348 | October 8, 2022 3:14 PM |
^^by lawyers, about lawsuits
by Anonymous | reply 349 | October 8, 2022 3:26 PM |
1-877-kars 4 kids
by Anonymous | reply 350 | October 8, 2022 4:12 PM |
I’m looking down in a meeting and noticing you have one inexplicably grimy fingernail.
by Anonymous | reply 351 | October 8, 2022 9:26 PM |
If it’s the middle finger, I can explic it.
by Anonymous | reply 352 | October 8, 2022 9:30 PM |
It’s shit underneath your mail from wiping your asshole using one section of paper.
by Anonymous | reply 353 | October 8, 2022 11:22 PM |
I'm the strangled scream in my throat every time the word "impactful" is used.
by Anonymous | reply 354 | October 9, 2022 1:48 AM |
You wipe your ass in a mailbox?
by Anonymous | reply 355 | October 9, 2022 1:49 AM |
I am the Aedes mosquito that has invaded Los Angeles. I got here on a slow boat from China a few years ago, and I am indestructible. Nothing repels me. I’m fast and near invisible. I’ll bite your ass and you’ll never see me coming. I’ve pretty much ruined Southern California, which never had a problem with my ilk before. Ha ha, bite me.
by Anonymous | reply 356 | October 10, 2022 3:24 AM |
I'm your neighbor's dogs barking day and night.
by Anonymous | reply 357 | October 10, 2022 3:46 AM |
[quote]I'm the Jerkmate ad.
Specifically, the one with the jumping fat girl just before a gay porn clip.
by Anonymous | reply 358 | October 10, 2022 3:15 PM |
I’m team building exercises.
by Anonymous | reply 359 | October 11, 2022 6:20 PM |
I'm a multimillion-dollar home in an exclusive neighborhood with a sanctimonious sign: IN THIS HOUSE WE BELIEVE.....etc. None of what my occupants "believe" touches their lives in any significant way, and they don't particularly want it in the neighborhood. They just want to signal what good people they are, while all they're really doing is annoying passersby. Don't blame me - I'm embarrassed by the sign, it makes me look like an ass.
by Anonymous | reply 360 | October 14, 2022 4:23 AM |
I’m extreme far right and extreme far left people who actually believe that they’re really different from one another
by Anonymous | reply 361 | October 14, 2022 4:29 AM |
I'm the Ziploc-style closure on packages of sliced cheese.
My relatives that zip-loc every other food item work fine. I NEVER, EVER work properly, leaving you to cut open the package with scissors and then seal in a zip-loc bag.
by Anonymous | reply 362 | October 14, 2022 4:30 AM |
I'm that one leaf that won't sweep.
by Anonymous | reply 363 | October 14, 2022 4:38 AM |
Censuring words. I understand censoring N words , but shit, sex, bitch, slut, rape, assault, retard, sometimes even God, just insane. I was reading an article that seems to *** so many word, it was impossible to read. Blurring middle fingers too, really? Its a fucking finger!
by Anonymous | reply 364 | October 14, 2022 3:17 PM |
[quote]I’m team building exercises.
I’m exercises.
by Anonymous | reply 365 | October 14, 2022 5:46 PM |
I'm your alarm. I go off exactly 2 minutes after you fall asleep after tossing and turning for the last 6 hours.
I'm the junk mail you get in your mailbox. I'm usually for a lawn care or siding company (I live in a condo so don't need either service). You find me in your mailbox when you return from work; ironically, I arrive on paper recycling day so I'm the first piece of recycling that won't be picked up for 2 weeks.
by Anonymous | reply 366 | October 14, 2022 7:07 PM |
I'm the little chirpy smooching sound effects used in every love scene in every movie and TV show. I'm nauseating.
by Anonymous | reply 367 | October 16, 2022 4:12 PM |
Jezebel.com
by Anonymous | reply 368 | October 16, 2022 4:17 PM |
Privileged white female college students with colored hair.
by Anonymous | reply 369 | October 16, 2022 4:21 PM |
Birds chirping at 4:00 AM in the summer.
by Anonymous | reply 370 | October 16, 2022 4:29 PM |
R370 The worst part is that after they wake us up, they turn quiet for a few hours while we're now wide awake.
by Anonymous | reply 371 | October 16, 2022 9:02 PM |
'Walk Alertly' as opposed to Watch Your Step Moron.
by Anonymous | reply 372 | October 17, 2022 2:11 PM |
[quote]Privileged white female college students with colored hair.
I’ve got my eye on you, Mister.
by Anonymous | reply 373 | October 17, 2022 5:45 PM |
I'm the "Oh dear".
by Anonymous | reply 374 | October 17, 2022 7:03 PM |
People who only speak in the latest catch/social media phrases.
by Anonymous | reply 375 | October 17, 2022 9:22 PM |
Order online the weekend. Then Monday everything you have just ordered is now 20% off.
by Anonymous | reply 376 | October 17, 2022 9:28 PM |
I'm R374 who does not know there is a comma in "Oh, dear."
Oh, dear.
by Anonymous | reply 377 | October 17, 2022 9:30 PM |
I'm the deluge of pointless, cookie-cutter, unilluminating Twitter comments that "news" outlets insist on quoting in their postings order to illustrate the latest online backlash that some dullard is getting, though the entire (non)story is based on them. (So I'm annoying in a very meta way.) Along the lines of:
"One Twitter user, who uses the name WaxCrak3, posted 'hey brah way to read the room this is not cool.' Another, Pr3ttyLadie, added "Do better, this is not okay, anyone else agree?'. Finlaysmomxoxo wrote 'Very problematic you need to Delete this post rite now,' and FuffytheBambiSlayyyer opined '“Is this not incredibly tone deaf to anyone else?'"
by Anonymous | reply 378 | October 24, 2022 1:05 AM |
AOC.
by Anonymous | reply 379 | October 24, 2022 1:12 AM |
The latest Arby’s commercial
by Anonymous | reply 380 | October 24, 2022 1:16 AM |
Squeaky windshield wipers.
by Anonymous | reply 381 | October 24, 2022 1:09 PM |
A cold snap.
by Anonymous | reply 382 | October 24, 2022 1:25 PM |
R381 Agree. Every time my windshield wipers fail to do the job, I drag out that old chestnut: We put a man on the moon over half a century ago, and they still haven't figured out windshield wipers?
Meanwhile - I'm people who text and run. I send you a text. You instantly respond, perhaps with a follow-up question. But I'm already gone, this conversation is over for me. Did I just press send and put my phone away, or am I being passive-aggressive and rude because I don't care about you and your concerns? You decide, I don't give a shit.
by Anonymous | reply 383 | October 24, 2022 2:04 PM |
I agree that squeaking windshield wipers are annoying. Here's a link to an interesting movie about wipers!
by Anonymous | reply 384 | October 25, 2022 9:46 AM |
I'm an Amazon product review, complaining that the box arrived dented.
by Anonymous | reply 385 | October 30, 2022 3:03 AM |
Big wet nasty pussy stinkin up the house
by Anonymous | reply 386 | October 30, 2022 5:40 AM |
I’m the in-office week where you get 60% less work done because the higher ups are obsessed with keeping the “culture” alive and blocking out your calendar with bullshit. The post-Covid culture wants to be at home avoiding a daily commute and not having to wake up two hours early while losing another hour+ getting back home too, physically and mentally exhausted to do anything else at the end of the day. Stop trying to fix something that is not only broken, but has actually gotten better. Why am I in the office just to have video calls without having to sign onto the VPN first? Also, office toilet paper should be federally outlawed.
by Anonymous | reply 387 | October 30, 2022 5:54 AM |
*not broken
by Anonymous | reply 388 | October 30, 2022 5:55 AM |
Not getting my housework done because I’ve got the trots.
by Anonymous | reply 389 | October 30, 2022 1:06 PM |
I'm little lectures on social media:
"If a teenager comes to your house on Halloween, GIVE THEM CANDY. Let them be young as long as they can! It costs nothing to be kind!"
"Do you know what the elderly want for Christmas? Not candy, not clothes — YOUR ATTENTION AND TIME. You will be old someday too! It costs nothing to be kind."
FUCK. OFF.
by Anonymous | reply 390 | October 30, 2022 7:49 PM |
I'm your new credit card company which won't address your complaint until you tell it your credit card number--but your complaint is that they still haven't sent you your new credit card, so you don't know the number.
by Anonymous | reply 391 | October 30, 2022 9:03 PM |
R391
by Anonymous | reply 392 | October 30, 2022 9:06 PM |
I'm posters like r392, who block someone yet must see their every reply, anyway.
[quote]Asian people who complain about being victims of white racism, and then immediately turn around and talk shit about black people.
I'm the same offense committed by black people who make antisemitic statements and Jews who accuse every black person of "playing the race card."
by Anonymous | reply 393 | October 30, 2022 9:20 PM |
I’m r393 a piece of shit
by Anonymous | reply 394 | October 30, 2022 9:30 PM |
I'm r394, a humorless twat who mistakes DL jokes for reality.
by Anonymous | reply 395 | October 30, 2022 9:39 PM |
I’m vaginal dryness.
by Anonymous | reply 396 | October 30, 2022 9:48 PM |
I’m Caitlyn Jenner, who hasn’t yet been attacked with a hammer.
by Anonymous | reply 397 | October 30, 2022 9:50 PM |
I'm most packaging.
by Anonymous | reply 398 | October 30, 2022 10:45 PM |
I’m adults having Halloween parties and cunts that use fireworks on July 4 and New Years
by Anonymous | reply 399 | October 30, 2022 10:51 PM |
R395 is insufferable
by Anonymous | reply 400 | October 30, 2022 11:41 PM |
I’m the chia seeds stuck in your teeth all damn morning.
by Anonymous | reply 401 | October 31, 2022 12:54 AM |
I'm the office chat application (like Slack) where your co-worker interrupts you and wants your attention right now! Drop what you're doing and answer my question! It also prohibits you from going off and taking a nap.
by Anonymous | reply 402 | October 31, 2022 2:06 AM |
I’m a pain in the neck from sleeping on my stomach last night.
by Anonymous | reply 403 | October 31, 2022 12:37 PM |
I'm the cheerfully patronizing recorded voice who interrupts 37 minutes of static-y, awful musical hold at regular intervals to rhetorically ask you whether you're aware that you can find the answer to most questions on their website. As if you'd be putting yourself through this kind of telephonic masochistic hell if you'd been able to.
by Anonymous | reply 404 | October 31, 2022 1:14 PM |
I agree with R399. The whole infantilization of the culture. Blockbuster action and comic book movies. Halloween is for children. Grow up people! You want to wear a costume? Save it for the bedroom.
by Anonymous | reply 405 | October 31, 2022 1:33 PM |
[quote]I'm TQ+.
Darkgemini, you have offended A by excluding them. And you how sensitive they are, you will make them lose appetite, poor things have already lost sexual appetite.
by Anonymous | reply 406 | October 31, 2022 1:36 PM |
I'm the sibling that only calls you when they want money.
by Anonymous | reply 407 | October 31, 2022 1:45 PM |
I'm the name Jermagesty
by Anonymous | reply 408 | October 31, 2022 2:03 PM |
I'm the name Jermajesty
by Anonymous | reply 409 | October 31, 2022 2:07 PM |
I'm the gym member who brings their 4 and 6-year olds with them, turns them lose to play on the treadmills, then gets offended when told children are not allowed on the gym floor.
by Anonymous | reply 410 | October 31, 2022 2:52 PM |
I'm the Kohls cashier begging you to take the survey on the receipt and to give them a "10" in every category.
I'm also the Kohls cashier informing you that you saved $105.00 on this transaction! No mention of the fact that the original prices was grossly inflated to offset their ever present 30% coupons and Kohls cash.
by Anonymous | reply 411 | October 31, 2022 3:21 PM |
R405 do you ever wear costumes in the bedroom?
by Anonymous | reply 412 | October 31, 2022 3:38 PM |
[quote]I’m adults having Halloween parties and cunts that use fireworks on July 4 and New Years
I'm the gunshots that rednecks and hoodrats replace fireworks with on New Year's.
by Anonymous | reply 413 | October 31, 2022 5:19 PM |
The DL creep who started the Genoa City thread and replies to his own questions
by Anonymous | reply 415 | October 31, 2022 6:58 PM |
^^He also started the Night Stalker thread. He’s got a crush on the dead murderer. A true psychopath.
by Anonymous | reply 416 | October 31, 2022 6:59 PM |
I'm Ye
by Anonymous | reply 417 | October 31, 2022 9:59 PM |
I'm the Youtubers repeatedly asking you to "buy them a coffee". (I'm looking at you River.)
I'm the Youtubers repeatedly sponsored by Thrive Market and who subject their viewers to yet another Thrive unboxing. (I'm looking at you keto king and over-the-top type A personality Thomas Delauer.)
by Anonymous | reply 418 | November 1, 2022 2:44 PM |
Pigeon shit
by Anonymous | reply 419 | November 1, 2022 3:06 PM |
I'm the lack of capitalization and punctuation that's slowly becoming more commonplace. I think I'm pretty cool, but I'm actually just displaying my ignorance.
by Anonymous | reply 420 | November 1, 2022 3:10 PM |
Dog shits on pee pad the minute my tired ass gets into bed. Forcing me to go to the laundry room to pick up the excrement and flush it.
by Anonymous | reply 421 | November 1, 2022 3:10 PM |
I'm Elon Musk!
Annoying enough for you?
by Anonymous | reply 422 | November 1, 2022 3:20 PM |
God yes! Didn’t you see my Musk Musk Musk thread?
by Anonymous | reply 423 | November 1, 2022 3:22 PM |
R421 Do you flush the pee pad along with the shit? If so, you're the reason my building's drains are constantly clogged.
by Anonymous | reply 424 | November 1, 2022 6:40 PM |
[quote]turns them lose to play on the treadmills,
Oh, dear!
by Anonymous | reply 425 | November 2, 2022 3:49 PM |
R391 that just happened to me a few weeks back.
I was stunned.
Speaking of credit cards:
I’m the takeover of your old credit card by a new bank which promptly sends you a new credit card. This time with a different fucking number, which means anything scheduled to be charged will be denied and your payment will be late since your online banking still has the old account number.
by Anonymous | reply 426 | November 2, 2022 3:51 PM |
R390 and I just got engaged.
I lurvs him!
by Anonymous | reply 427 | November 2, 2022 3:52 PM |
I'm the asshole friend who thinks it's legit 'staying in touch' when he just sends me music clips (boring and interminable), political rants, and articles (usually long, overwritten dreck from NYT) that he thinks I will like. Never writes a message. Never discloses anything that's going on in his life. He's cool in person, and used to not be such a fucking boor. I KNOW he would NOT like to sit there and review stuff like the above if I sent it to HIM.
by Anonymous | reply 428 | November 2, 2022 3:54 PM |
I'm Xfinity Customer Service.
by Anonymous | reply 429 | November 2, 2022 8:39 PM |
I'm the numbers on credit cards that always wear off.
by Anonymous | reply 430 | November 2, 2022 8:43 PM |
I’m sharp toenails.
by Anonymous | reply 431 | November 3, 2022 3:24 AM |
I'm the chirping smoke detector somewhere in your house.
You unscrew and destroy about four perfectly fine ones before you find me.
by Anonymous | reply 432 | November 3, 2022 3:28 AM |
I'm the message "you can't use your previous password" when you reset the password you "forgot"
by Anonymous | reply 433 | November 3, 2022 3:42 AM |
I'm the DLers accusing anyone who criticizes Hunter Biden or doesn't find him attractive of being a repug or boris or some such nonsense.
by Anonymous | reply 434 | November 4, 2022 1:16 PM |
R432 when my Boston terrier hears the chirping smoke alarm batteries he trembles with extreme fear.
by Anonymous | reply 435 | November 4, 2022 5:11 PM |
Those little white yappy dogs with the curly fur. God those little fuckers are annoying. Why can’t people just get labs and golden retrievers instead? So much nicer.
by Anonymous | reply 436 | November 6, 2022 4:39 AM |
The most annoying shit is the fact that Drumpf is still in our faces every fucking day. He needs to be shunned by media outlets, they need to stop giving this POS a platform.
by Anonymous | reply 437 | November 6, 2022 5:02 AM |
M-80s in leaf piles.
by Anonymous | reply 438 | November 6, 2022 12:15 PM |
R436 not everyone thinks like you.
by Anonymous | reply 439 | November 6, 2022 12:30 PM |
I'm K. Kardashian and K. Jenner
by Anonymous | reply 440 | November 6, 2022 2:42 PM |
I’m that asshole who sings a country song during karaoke at a gay bar. No gay man wants to be reminded of rednecks.
by Anonymous | reply 441 | November 6, 2022 2:59 PM |
^^^Especially I’ve Got Friends In Low Places by Garth Brooks
by Anonymous | reply 442 | November 6, 2022 5:14 PM |
I’m a destination wedding.
by Anonymous | reply 443 | November 6, 2022 5:18 PM |
r436 You leave bichon frises out of this! They're adorable!
by Anonymous | reply 445 | November 6, 2022 10:29 PM |
The Lume bitch and her crotch odor score
by Anonymous | reply 446 | November 6, 2022 11:09 PM |
I'll be Noel and Matt from the British Baking Show.
by Anonymous | reply 447 | November 7, 2022 12:27 AM |
r447 they truly are fucking annoying. Noel and the other Norwegian lesbatarian were okay, but Matt...
by Anonymous | reply 448 | November 7, 2022 10:18 AM |
R446
I hate the Lume bitch, too, and I'm usually a feminist.
She's such a complete embarrassment to women. I wish she'd get some crotch-rotting disease so we wouldn't have to hear more stories about her rancid vagina.
by Anonymous | reply 449 | November 8, 2022 2:18 AM |
Anything "Christmassy " since November 1st. Fuck red and green glitter.
by Anonymous | reply 450 | November 8, 2022 2:52 AM |
I'm the people who post that insipid, overused response gif of the woman in green laughing and spewing coffee.
by Anonymous | reply 451 | November 8, 2022 3:15 PM |
R451 I'm agreeing with you about the glitter when I vacuum - you'll never get it all. But I had a friend who'd ALWAYS throw a little extra glitter in the Christmas card envelope. Some of which would always end up on the rugs. He's been dead for almost 15 years and whenever I see a tiny, shiny glint of red in the carpeting, I think about Bobby.
Glitter's annoying, but there's a backstory.
by Anonymous | reply 452 | November 9, 2022 11:19 PM |
Wiping your ass with your fingers only
by Anonymous | reply 453 | November 9, 2022 11:31 PM |
I'm coming back to your car in the parking lot to find two gigantic SUVs parked on either side of you, giving you no way to get out safely but to back out inch by inch and hope no one hits you.
by Anonymous | reply 454 | November 9, 2022 11:31 PM |
R452, I think you meant to address R450. That said, feel free to throw some glitter into that woman's coffee cup! Incidentally, I'm a fan of glitter too, even the particles that wind up on my feet and in the vacuum many years later (mingled with needles from the Christmas trees of many yesteryears). And now I'll think of Bobby too.
by Anonymous | reply 455 | November 10, 2022 12:23 AM |
Hallmark movies, all reality show scum, HGTV shows with whining fraus needing a huge kitchen with a huge island, paranormal TV shows with no actual scares, I'm looking at you Zack Baggy or whatever your fake name is.
Too much else to list.
by Anonymous | reply 456 | November 10, 2022 1:33 AM |
Noisy self-absorbed neighbors who act as if others do not exist. This self-absorbed behavior even goes on in expensive condos and co-op apartments. The nouveau rich have no shame.
by Anonymous | reply 457 | November 10, 2022 1:34 AM |
Pimples right on the vermilion border of your lip, which everyone notices and stares at when you’re talking.
by Anonymous | reply 458 | November 10, 2022 1:59 AM |
[quote]I hate the Lume bitch
I like her! She appears to be a real person, no bullshit. Why the hate?
by Anonymous | reply 459 | November 10, 2022 3:15 AM |
some DL threads. there is one or two in particular who create instantly identifiable posts. they're all alike and always proliferated by the op throughout the entire thread.
by Anonymous | reply 460 | November 10, 2022 10:07 AM |
R452, I choked up a bit. Thank you for that.
What a beautiful thing.
by Anonymous | reply 461 | November 10, 2022 9:45 PM |
I’m going to prepare foods. Then eat it. Hee hee.
by Anonymous | reply 462 | November 10, 2022 9:53 PM |
[quote]I like her! She appears to be a real person, no bullshit. Why the hate?
I guess people are jealous of the LUME woman, because this product will eliminate all the fragrance products that both women and men use to cover up their various body odors. For some people deodorants don't even work on their armpit odor.
IIRC, LUME can be used anywhere on the body where you have bad odors. Of course, if the odors are extreme and you bathe daily and use LUME, you might need to see a doctor. There is that rare illness where people have extreme body odor which smells like rancid fish, this odor is not just coming from a woman's crotch, men and women can have this disorder. I forgot what this illness is called, what an awful thing to have.
btw, the LUME woman is a gyno, she came up with this product. She's not just some spokesperson, it's her invention.
by Anonymous | reply 463 | November 10, 2022 10:01 PM |
I've actually used LUME before just to try it (the unscented version). It actually does work. What it doesn't do is stop you from sweating, though, because it's not an antiperspirant. I went running in the middle of July to test its strength. I definitely worked up a sweat but there was no actual "sweaty/ripe" smell afterward. I was completely odorless, just sweaty.
So, I don't know what people's problem is with her or the product. Maybe they tried LUME, too, and it didn't work and they're eternally pissed about it. If that's the case, I condole them, and can only suggest they see a doctor. Because that stuff it pretty powerful with blocking odor, unless you have a condition that is even more powerful causing your stench.
by Anonymous | reply 464 | November 11, 2022 2:10 AM |
^ *is
by Anonymous | reply 465 | November 11, 2022 2:11 AM |
I'm the snarky box you have to check on some sites to decline to receive their email newsletter or coupons: "No, I don't want to save money" or "No, I don't want life saving tips sent directly to my email inbox weekly".
by Anonymous | reply 466 | November 11, 2022 11:41 AM |
Unsubscribing to product advertising emails. It never works.
by Anonymous | reply 467 | November 11, 2022 11:16 PM |
I'm the fucking leaf blowers ruining the quality of life in the 'burbs, oblivious to screams of "IT'S FUCKING 7 O'CLOCK ON A SATURDAY MORNING ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MINDS?!"
And I own this thread.
by Anonymous | reply 468 | November 12, 2022 4:25 PM |
Actually, R486, I own you.
by Anonymous | reply 469 | November 13, 2022 1:39 PM |
I'm the laptop being slammed closed on tv and movies that doesn't need the internet or wifi to be disconnected or the computer to be shut down beforehand.
by Anonymous | reply 470 | November 13, 2022 1:59 PM |
I'm the entire block's leaves that are now on r468 's lawn.
by Anonymous | reply 471 | November 13, 2022 5:58 PM |
I’m your airport turkey sandwich that cost $14.79.
by Anonymous | reply 472 | November 13, 2022 6:52 PM |
I’m the website that pops up when you type part of the url of the site you actually want to see. Outfits now target parts of URL’s to popular sites, on the chance that we might land on the competitor’s site and think “Wow! I should open an account here, too!”.
My cousins are the sponsored advertising that appear on top of your search results.
by Anonymous | reply 473 | November 13, 2022 8:17 PM |
R469 Can I have a ride in your time machine?
(We haven't gotten to 486 yet )
No worries, we k ow you meant me.
R468
by Anonymous | reply 474 | November 14, 2022 11:47 AM |
The lotions and shit that come in a pump dispenser, which always stops working whilst there is still 25% left at the bottom of the dispenser - they do this on purpose to force you to throw out the last bits and buy another one before you need to.
Fuck that shit. I unscrew the top and use up the rest before buying another.
by Anonymous | reply 475 | November 14, 2022 12:47 PM |
R471 I'm the high school kid hired to rake up all those leaves, which are now piled up at the edge of the street waiting for the leaf mulchers to come and get them. Costs a fraction of those chiseling landscape companies, doesn't pump carcinogens into the air, pollute the environment, and make the town sound like it's under attack.
Just FYI: some towns are starting to put in ordinances that the leaf blowers have to 1) use electricity, not those filthy gas powered blowers, and 2) can only work on specified days of the week and between certain hours.
R468
by Anonymous | reply 476 | November 14, 2022 12:51 PM |
R468, I can empathize with you. There's a strip mall behind my condo. Whoever owns the mall has a street sweeper come in a couple times a week . . . at 5:30-5:45 am!
The same mall has an Outback Steakhouse. The trash company comes through every day at 5 am to empty the dumpster. I get to listen to the machine lift the dumpster, empty it, and then shake it back and forth about 3 times. Nothing like hearing the clanging of the lid repeatedly when you're trying to sleep.
by Anonymous | reply 477 | November 14, 2022 1:33 PM |
I am Froy.
by Anonymous | reply 478 | November 14, 2022 2:27 PM |
The extra loud vehicle’ idling in the neighbors driveway
by Anonymous | reply 479 | November 14, 2022 3:46 PM |
I am the car with windows tinted so dark it looks like black paint. It's against the law in most states but no one seems to care.
by Anonymous | reply 480 | November 14, 2022 4:11 PM |
Yeah, what’s up with tinted glass in the front windows now? It seems unsafe not being able to make eye contact with another driver, especially as a pedestrian.
by Anonymous | reply 481 | November 14, 2022 5:54 PM |
I'm the bit you have to peel before you can get to the sticky part so you can slap a holiday ribbon on top of the giftbox, only there's no corner to grasp and down and you cannot fucking separate me from the sticky part, and then I watch in amusement as you end up ripping up the sticky part too, so the bow is useless and you tear up the entire bow in a rage, and the cat gets it and thinks it's the greatest thing since catnip and drags the shredded ribbon all over the place.
by Anonymous | reply 482 | November 15, 2022 1:03 AM |
[quote]Just FYI: some towns are starting to put in ordinances that the leaf blowers have to 1) use electricity, not those filthy gas powered blowers, and 2) can only work on specified days of the week and between certain hours.
Je je je, just try to stop us from blowing debris all over you during your 6am walk to work!
by Anonymous | reply 483 | November 15, 2022 6:41 AM |
R385 – worse than that. I’m the Amazon comment “Sorry I don’t know” from some dip shit member of the public responding to a question someone else has raised about a product.
by Anonymous | reply 484 | November 15, 2022 10:20 AM |
I’m ads on YouTube.
by Anonymous | reply 485 | November 15, 2022 10:20 AM |
I’m the person on the bus or train with their bag next to them on the aisle seat. Or worse the window seat.
No I don’t really want to sit next to you either, but it’s fucking public transport, and I want a seat.
by Anonymous | reply 486 | November 15, 2022 10:21 AM |
I'm the coupons offered on every ebay sale.
by Anonymous | reply 487 | November 15, 2022 10:44 AM |
[quote]I’m ads on YouTube.
I'm posters who haven't figured out Adblock Plus and/or uBlock Origin.
by Anonymous | reply 488 | November 15, 2022 12:44 PM |
I'm the shopping carts left in spaces in the car park because the last user was too lazy to push it back to the cart corral.
by Anonymous | reply 489 | November 15, 2022 1:02 PM |
I'm the driver who is waiting to make a right onto the road you're on, and then pulls out when you're three metres away even though there isn't anyone behind you for 15 metres.
by Anonymous | reply 490 | November 15, 2022 1:05 PM |
Can’t believe no one has mentioned me! I’m the annoying commercial from some ambulance chasing shyster offering money to anyone stationed at some fucking base called Calo Lejeune. I run at least 4 times an hour and take 5 minutes to run.
by Anonymous | reply 491 | November 15, 2022 1:39 PM |
I’m the annoying attention seeking co-worker who after the entire group except him agree on a plan, has to come up with some lame objection and the wimpy meeting moderator lets me drone on for 15 minutes in a topic nobody gives two shits about and it is a 4:30 meeting on Friday. The rest of the room wants to kill me but I’m entitled to my opinion no matter how idiotic and uninformed it is
by Anonymous | reply 492 | November 15, 2022 1:44 PM |
I’m the persona few yards ahead of you on the sidewalk who is absorbed in a video chat blaring on speakerphone. I amble along at a leisurely pace while drifting from one side of the sidewalk to the other, making it impossible for anyone else to get by. It’s not that I lack situational awareness, it’s just that I’m utterly unconcerned with anyone but myself.
by Anonymous | reply 493 | November 15, 2022 2:34 PM |
I'm the people having personal conversations on their mobiles on trains, buses, and in supermarket aisles.
Snippet overheard and relayed to me by an American friend getting into her car in a supermarket car park in Orangeburg, NY (wherever that is), by a woman parked in front of her with her door open and one leg hanging out: "Can you believe he said that to me?! So I sez to him, Schmuck! Who do you think you're dealing with here, some babe in the woods?!"
by Anonymous | reply 494 | November 15, 2022 2:38 PM |
I'm other people.
by Anonymous | reply 495 | November 15, 2022 3:02 PM |
R492 Surprised to see you posting here, Clare.
She did 20 minutes yesterday on how walking is the least polluting way to commute and why the company should give us all free sneakers. And that’s just this week….
by Anonymous | reply 496 | November 15, 2022 4:57 PM |
Flight attendants who do “comedy” over the PA.
by Anonymous | reply 497 | November 21, 2022 12:47 PM |
When there are no more chocolate chip cookies left, only oatmeal raisin.
by Anonymous | reply 498 | November 21, 2022 1:50 PM |
I'm air travel under First Class, and I own this thread.
by Anonymous | reply 499 | November 21, 2022 3:08 PM |
I'm the disproportionate rage xe has when you misgender it even though it looks like a bloke called Kevin.
by Anonymous | reply 500 | November 21, 2022 3:13 PM |
I'm Kaylee, who won't shut up when she's being murdered in her college dorm.
by Anonymous | reply 501 | November 21, 2022 3:14 PM |
I'm everyone raving about 'A Little Life', 'Hamilton', or 'Ben Platt' or worse all three.
by Anonymous | reply 502 | November 21, 2022 10:21 PM |
I’m Americans.
by Anonymous | reply 503 | November 28, 2022 4:05 PM |
I'm a middle aged blond woman and my friend and I have decided that the best place to have a conversation is directly in front of the only entrance to the grocery store, just contort yourself and lift your cart up at an angle to pass by us we are not going to acknowledge you no matter what.
by Anonymous | reply 504 | November 28, 2022 4:43 PM |
I'm the Europeans who live here because of job opportunities yet disparage the country unrelentingly.
Still I won't go back to my shithole country.
by Anonymous | reply 505 | November 28, 2022 6:13 PM |
I'm old age and I own this thread.
by Anonymous | reply 506 | November 28, 2022 7:59 PM |
I’m Emma Watson.
by Anonymous | reply 507 | November 28, 2022 9:33 PM |
I'm old age and I own DL.
by Anonymous | reply 508 | November 29, 2022 3:28 AM |
I'm the crowd of poseur hipster interlopers standing in the middle of the sidewalk in our new gentrified formerly working class industrial neighborhood.
We are more important than the original residents of this neighborhood, we sure want them to know that! We have our trust funds and can afford to purchase any overpriced crap we want. We just bought a $15 grilled cheese sandwich and a $10 latte at that new cafe.
We will continue to block the sidewalk as long as we want to. Got a problem with that???
by Anonymous | reply 509 | November 29, 2022 3:32 AM |
I'm the entitled brat who comes to DL (1 of the few sites where the elder gays can talk about the good old days) and complain DLs aren't talking about what I want and they disagree with my (alway right) opinions, when I have the 99% of internet for that.
I probably think they are to many kids in Chuck N Cheese
by Anonymous | reply 510 | November 29, 2022 2:21 PM |
I'm the obnoxious human "cause" spam strategically positioned on the streets to sabotage your path no matter where you're hoping to go. I leap in your way doing the maniacal wave, yelping out compelling engagement phrases like "HEY--- Got a minute? I really want your opinion on something" or "LOOOOOOOOOVE your style!" in order to engage passersby and rope them into monthly auto-pay donations to whichever cause they're paid to fundraise through annoyance. At my worst, I'm the spammy waver who then bellows "OKAY, I guess you don't care about abortion rights/gay rights/animal cruelty, but you do you" to the non-responder-- despite the fact that said human has probably done way more for said cause than I ever have (which includes having done nothing).
by Anonymous | reply 511 | November 29, 2022 4:56 PM |
[QUOTE]Let’s be annoying shit
Dr. Rachel Levine and Sam Brinton
by Anonymous | reply 512 | November 29, 2022 6:02 PM |
I'm the disheveled-looking passenger in the middle seat who opens a ZipLok bag of cheese that smells exactly like dog shit, mid-flight. Munching away.
by Anonymous | reply 513 | November 30, 2022 3:39 PM |
I'm Nicola Sturgeon.
by Anonymous | reply 514 | November 30, 2022 6:54 PM |
I'm the weather.
by Anonymous | reply 515 | November 30, 2022 6:54 PM |
I'm the elderperson on DL who refuses to subscribe "on principle."
Last night, I had an incredibly funny post idea, but could not post because the thread was closed to non-subscribers.
Today, I've forgotten my idea and the thread is open. Feeling sad and old.
by Anonymous | reply 516 | December 1, 2022 4:40 AM |
I'm the stye that has formed over the past two hours for no goddammed good reason at all.
by Anonymous | reply 517 | December 1, 2022 4:41 AM |
People who say-
That CRACKS ME UP!
by Anonymous | reply 518 | December 1, 2022 5:14 AM |
A headache from one measly glass of wine. Good night and may tomorrow be a good one for you.
by Anonymous | reply 519 | December 1, 2022 5:21 AM |
I'm land acknowledgements.
by Anonymous | reply 520 | December 1, 2022 7:14 AM |
Movies that use popular songs that overwhelm the dialogue. eg Janis Joplin singing Summertime in Parallel Mothers. Janis Joplin is not background music.
by Anonymous | reply 521 | December 1, 2022 7:59 AM |
I’m Spandex. What’s going to happen to you when I lose my stretch?
by Anonymous | reply 522 | December 1, 2022 11:49 AM |
I’m an overdue expense report.
by Anonymous | reply 523 | December 1, 2022 12:31 PM |
I'm pistachio-flavored...anything.
by Anonymous | reply 524 | December 2, 2022 5:11 AM |
I'm peanut butter flavored anything that's not peanut butter.
by Anonymous | reply 525 | December 2, 2022 6:28 AM |
Peloton commercials. "CAMM-oannnn! You GAT this! Wooooooooo!"
by Anonymous | reply 526 | December 3, 2022 3:27 PM |
The Lume cunt continues to deserve to have her pussy, ass, tits and armpits whipped with a thorn bush until they're raggedy and thrown into a stock tank full of rubbing alcohol.
by Anonymous | reply 527 | December 3, 2022 3:31 PM |
I'm the smell of toast.
by Anonymous | reply 528 | December 3, 2022 10:19 PM |
I’m anyone who adheres to gender extremes. Think women who wear pink and bows, men who act like loggers, and femme bottoms. Butch dykes are cool though.
by Anonymous | reply 529 | December 3, 2022 11:17 PM |
When they're out of an item I want at the supermarket. I have to re-plan my day and decide which other store I might try. A hassle.
by Anonymous | reply 530 | December 3, 2022 11:49 PM |
I'm the dudebro in the gym having a god damned business meeting on his fucking phone through his earbuds while he works out, talking loud enough to be heard at the other end of the gym floor, and I scowl at the guy who gives me attitude.
by Anonymous | reply 531 | December 3, 2022 11:49 PM |
R531 I’m the same guy. I’ll wear all my workout clothes (hoodie included) and shoes that step in dogshit right up into the sauna and the steam room, where I’ll listen to a baseball game or rap music on speaker, so I can unwind. I wear my clothes in there because I don’t want you fags to get the wrong idea. Also, my shoes have black mold growing under the insole from doing this.
by Anonymous | reply 532 | December 4, 2022 12:06 AM |
[quote]The Lume cunt continues to deserve to have her pussy, ass, tits and armpits whipped with a thorn bush until they're raggedy and thrown into a stock tank full of rubbing alcohol.
The woman in the ads is the actual doctor who created Lume. Are you jealous that she created these products and has made millions?
What ideas have you come up with?
by Anonymous | reply 533 | December 4, 2022 12:08 AM |
I'm Splenda.
by Anonymous | reply 534 | December 4, 2022 8:05 AM |
I’m the bloating Splenda causes.
by Anonymous | reply 535 | December 4, 2022 12:42 PM |
I am the lady at the lab who is chatting on her phone at 100 decibels. The lab is filled with people not thrilled because they are waiting for their blood to be drawn.
I’m poster r536 who told that lady how inconsiderate she was and “no one wants to hear or cares about your conversation, take it outside”
Of course the reason she gave for annoying a room full of patients was “ a friend died”….sure Jan
by Anonymous | reply 536 | December 4, 2022 12:54 PM |
I'm Emma Corrin and her gender identity.
by Anonymous | reply 537 | December 4, 2022 2:44 PM |
I am a Christian
by Anonymous | reply 538 | December 5, 2022 12:04 AM |
I'm the eBay shipment delivered with an insert declaring that it hails from a "smoke-free, pet-free, Christian home."
by Anonymous | reply 539 | December 5, 2022 12:49 AM |
r539 I'd much rather buy something from a smoke-free, Christian-free home, with two dogs and a cat.
by Anonymous | reply 540 | December 5, 2022 3:24 AM |
I'm the young actor who thinks the past participle of 'cast' is 'casted'.
by Anonymous | reply 541 | December 5, 2022 3:28 AM |
I'm the cunt at R308
by Anonymous | reply 542 | December 5, 2022 3:34 AM |
I'm the customer service agent from way too many companies who ends the conversation with, "Have a blessed day!"
WTF?
by Anonymous | reply 543 | December 5, 2022 7:43 AM |
The thing about the Lume Dr is that no one wants to hear about stinky pussy on live TV. Or dick, for that matter.
The age of disclosure is getting really old. Just wash with soap and water, and spare me the details.
by Anonymous | reply 544 | December 5, 2022 7:51 AM |
EG here. I remember the first time condoms were advertised on TV. I was shocked! Then came tampons, menstrual medications, ED pills and now HIV Prep commercials. R544 - times change.
by Anonymous | reply 545 | December 5, 2022 4:03 PM |
R544 I get SPAM advertisements for Lume Deodorant often. I have never heard of it before.
by Anonymous | reply 546 | December 5, 2022 5:19 PM |
Im the fat lady on the toilet with my pants around her ankles who is telling g the world that “women poop"
by Anonymous | reply 547 | December 5, 2022 6:41 PM |
I'm ordering groceries and then getting a teenage grocery picker that nets you ten pounds of rotten produce.
by Anonymous | reply 548 | December 6, 2022 3:43 AM |
[quote]The thing about the Lume Dr is that no one wants to hear about stinky pussy on live TV. Or dick, for that matter.
Have I told you about my fetid asscrack yet?
by Anonymous | reply 549 | December 6, 2022 3:59 AM |
I am irrationally annoyed by that Queen of Denmark's yellow teeth.
I thought Denmark was voted one of the happiest places on earth to live. Are they happy because they never have to endure the discomfort of a dentist appointment?
What's up with that?
by Anonymous | reply 550 | December 6, 2022 9:04 AM |
I’m a weak, wheezing restroom hand dryer instead of paper towels.
by Anonymous | reply 551 | December 6, 2022 12:23 PM |
I'm the automatic knob-less restroom faucet, which you discover doesn't work, after you have a handful of soap foam.
by Anonymous | reply 552 | December 6, 2022 1:32 PM |
I am this……..it’s been part of the notifications on DL since 1995. I guess it will forever be a “work in progress”, nothing more….
“ We are testing notifications for mentions and likes. This is a testbench page. Work in progress. Nothing to see here - yet.”
by Anonymous | reply 553 | December 6, 2022 8:44 PM |
I'm the news reporter asking the dumbest, nastiest, toothless person to describe that hurricane damage or fire or flood.
by Anonymous | reply 554 | December 6, 2022 9:17 PM |
The woman with her boyfriend touting her numerous UTIs and saying she has the cure. Later commercials, they're married! She introduces him as her husband. Yikes. The got married because of the money they made off the uterine pain she could have prevented just by peeing after intercourse?
by Anonymous | reply 555 | December 6, 2022 11:12 PM |
I’m the feces they’re finding ALL OVER the self serve checkout lines
by Anonymous | reply 556 | December 6, 2022 11:47 PM |
^Where do you shop??
by Anonymous | reply 557 | December 6, 2022 11:54 PM |
I’m the UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA.
by Anonymous | reply 558 | December 7, 2022 12:30 PM |
I’m the grid on my phone, full of pictures of lame ass guys with small dicks lol
by Anonymous | reply 559 | December 7, 2022 12:43 PM |
I’m the unexpected refreshing of threads on DL when they get past a certain number of replies.
by Anonymous | reply 560 | December 7, 2022 7:59 PM |
🍝 I'm buying everybody I know a brand spanking new collapsible silicon pasta strainer for Christmas.
🤗 [italic] Màngia !
by Anonymous | reply 561 | December 7, 2022 8:48 PM |
R561 I just gave away my silicon strainer. Maybe I wasn't using it correctly but it didn't work well for me. When I poured all the water and vegies into it, it didn't didn't 'open' -- it remained flat and all my vegies went into the sink.
by Anonymous | reply 562 | December 10, 2022 2:16 AM |
R562, your vegetables heard you calling them "vegies" and they got out however they could.
by Anonymous | reply 563 | December 10, 2022 2:37 AM |
r562 you're supposed to manually "pop" it open BEFORE you try to strain anything.
by Anonymous | reply 564 | December 10, 2022 10:48 AM |
I'm the Youtuber whose EVERY video is sponsored. Usually by Thrive Market.
I'm looking at you keto guy Thomas DeLauer, Chef Brian Lagerstrom and Stephen from Not Just Another Cooking Show.
by Anonymous | reply 565 | December 10, 2022 11:05 AM |
The ubiquitous WineClub advertisements on my beloved Turner Classic Movies. Who buy that piss?
by Anonymous | reply 566 | December 11, 2022 11:29 PM |
I'm kitty litter that promises to dessicate and deodourise your pet's shit and pee and does neither.
by Anonymous | reply 567 | December 12, 2022 11:34 PM |
I’m the pomegranate seed you dropped. You can’t find me for the life of you, but soon you’ll step on me - splat! - and stain your rug. Ha ha ha!
by Anonymous | reply 568 | December 13, 2022 9:40 AM |
PR peons infesting DL.
by Anonymous | reply 569 | December 15, 2022 10:44 AM |
Pedestrians and cyclists. Since the prevailing orthodoxy that all drivers are bad killers, they seem to have decided there's a forcefield around them based on moral superiority, so they needn't look twice or both ways or over their shoulder. I know the onus is on drivers, rightly, but realistically everyone has a part to play in their own safety.
by Anonymous | reply 570 | December 15, 2022 12:25 PM |
The White Lotus threads on DL.
by Anonymous | reply 571 | December 15, 2022 12:44 PM |
I’m people who talk incessantly, mainly about themselves. I go on and on with my monologue, no detail spared, nary a space for any interruption (I hate interruption). I tend to be older. There are many of me. I don’t ask you anything about yourself or your opinions, because I’m not interested. Just sit there quietly and listen to me.
by Anonymous | reply 572 | December 19, 2022 4:46 AM |
I am all those people who get out of their seat at the cinema, the minute the movie ends.
by Anonymous | reply 573 | December 19, 2022 4:56 AM |
The media always reporting the minute details of Drumpf. Enough already.
Reality show trash.
by Anonymous | reply 574 | December 19, 2022 7:12 AM |
I'm spell-check, and I should go duck myself.
by Anonymous | reply 575 | December 19, 2022 4:17 PM |
[quote]Dataloungers always reporting the minute details of Drumpf. Enough already.
Fixed.
by Anonymous | reply 576 | December 19, 2022 4:21 PM |
No, R576, it's the media.
How would DL posters be reporting on Dump if they didn't read an article about his every move which was published in a newspaper, reported on all TV news channels and on online websites?!
It's the media, they ALL need to shun that orange motherfucker. However, since reporting on that fool brings in lots of money, talking about that freak won't stop anytime soon.
by Anonymous | reply 577 | December 20, 2022 9:50 AM |
[quote]How would DL posters be reporting on Dump if they didn't read an article about his every move which was published in a newspaper, reported on all TV news channels and on online websites?!
Oh, r577, I get it: the "David Tyler Muir made me do it" defense.
by Anonymous | reply 578 | December 20, 2022 12:35 PM |
[quote]Oh, [R577], I get it: the "David Tyler Muir made me do it" defense.
Damn are you dense. I don't know what the "David Tyler Muir made me do it" defense is, as I never watch that plastic guy.
People only repeat what they hear on TV, read online and if they still read daily newspapers, in the fucking newspapers, otherwise, how do people absorb information?
What are their sources? Certainly not DL. A large percentage of info on DL is coming from other sources.
Where the fuck do YOU get your information about anything? By hearing about it in some form of media.
by Anonymous | reply 579 | December 20, 2022 5:29 PM |
I'm dense, r579? No one is forcing you to post Trump bullshit on DL. You choose to do it. The media isn't coming here and pasting his ugly mug at the top of threads.
by Anonymous | reply 580 | December 20, 2022 5:31 PM |
I'm the last five posts.
by Anonymous | reply 581 | December 20, 2022 6:07 PM |
Expanding on R581's post. I'm the petty squabbles that break out on the DL over the dumbest shit!
by Anonymous | reply 582 | December 20, 2022 7:52 PM |
I’m the “new and improved” pride flag because nothing says progress more than shitting all over a perfect, simple all encompassing design!
by Anonymous | reply 583 | December 20, 2022 8:12 PM |
Just alter the “new and improved“ Pride flag into a pennant. Problem solved.
by Anonymous | reply 584 | December 20, 2022 8:15 PM |
Or just burn it.
by Anonymous | reply 585 | December 20, 2022 8:17 PM |
[quote]I'm dense, [R579]? No one is forcing you to post Trump bullshit on DL. You choose to do it. The media isn't coming here and pasting his ugly mug at the top of threads.
Why ASSume I post "Trump bullshit" on DL?! Nowhere in my posts did I state this. I choose to do none of what you are accusing me of doing.
I actually never go into Dump threads on DL. I try to avoid reading any reporting on him in all media and that includes DL threads. However, it is difficult to avoid. That was my MAIN point, which you twisted to fit your agenda and which you are, apparently, too dense to comprehend.
Once again, beyond Dump bullshit being posted here at DL, most of the DL threads ARE sourced from other areas of the media, otherwise, there wouldn't be anything here to post and others to respond to.
Most DL posts consist of links from other news sources or websites. Unless people are responding to advice threads, old TV shows/film/celebrity threads or the 100th thread about the Dollar Tree, even the porn threads are linked from other sources, especially social media links. Use your eyes.
Yes, dear, you are quite dense.
by Anonymous | reply 586 | December 21, 2022 4:40 AM |
[quote]Expanding on [R581]'s post. I'm the petty squabbles that break out on the DL over the dumbest shit!
This usually begins at about the 20th post, fades, and then repeats every 20 times.
by Anonymous | reply 587 | December 21, 2022 6:13 AM |
Frau suburban cunts in their massive SUVs who treat 2 lane city streets like their own fuck’n personal drag strip.
by Anonymous | reply 588 | December 21, 2022 7:46 AM |
[quote]Frau suburban cunts in their massive SUVs who treat 2 lane city streets like their own fuck’n personal drag strip.
People who complain about "frau suburban cunts" must have personal experience because, sadly, they must live in a frau infested suburb.
I condole you.
by Anonymous | reply 589 | December 21, 2022 10:52 AM |
I'm the cunt trolls who post on the DL. They comprise 100% of the posts. Ain't nuthing good about here no more.
by Anonymous | reply 590 | December 21, 2022 12:07 PM |
We are Meghan and Harry Markle. We own this thread.
by Anonymous | reply 591 | December 21, 2022 1:06 PM |
Close
by Anonymous | reply 593 | December 21, 2022 1:50 PM |
Down
by Anonymous | reply 594 | December 21, 2022 1:50 PM |
This
by Anonymous | reply 595 | December 21, 2022 1:50 PM |
Thread
by Anonymous | reply 596 | December 21, 2022 1:50 PM |
To
by Anonymous | reply 597 | December 21, 2022 1:50 PM |
Vent
by Anonymous | reply 598 | December 21, 2022 1:50 PM |
About
by Anonymous | reply 599 | December 21, 2022 1:50 PM |
The Ridiculousness of modern life
by Anonymous | reply 600 | December 21, 2022 1:51 PM |