Boyfriend Acts Visibly Bored While With Partner's Parents

Yes, he's a rude so-and-so. Dump him. He'll get bored in the relationship, too.

EVERYONE is bored when visiting their significant other's parents!

Yes.

Disrespectful and graceless.

Only keep him if he's hotter than any other prospects at the moment.

Dump him. What an ass. He will only get worse.

R2 Getting bored I get but why roll your eyes when they are right next to you?

[quote]Is it bad if a boyfriend acts visibly bored while with their partner's parents?

Yes, this is an obvious red flag.

The fact that you needed to ask this at all is a big red flag about you.

Have never had in-laws or a girlfriend (I’m a lesbian), so idk how I’d hypothetically behave in that situation. Tbh if I hated a serious girlfriends’ family that much, I’d probably have to ditch her, because I’ve had enough trouble with my own family and am not looking to inherit or import more from other people.

Like the last few weeks: I’ve had to visit and host distant straight relatives and their grubby little hellspawn too, on behalf of my old disabled grandmother (I’m one of her carers). These people are money-grubbing vultures and social climbers, as well as judgemental classists and covert homophobes, and so I do not bother to mask the boredom and disdain I feel when around them. They look down on me and will never do anything for me, so fuck them.

Yes, but the OP left out the part that the family and boyfriend were looking at photos of his Ex, and favoring him over the current one.

How soon after meeting/dating, did OP bring boyfriend to see parents?

R9 I know you are joking but no the photos were not of any exes. Hahahaha

R10 been together around 3 years. Parents knew about him after a couple of months.

Three years...wow and he's like this. DUMP him now. Rude, disrespectful and a bad sign of things to come. Imagine what he'll be like at your family get togethers- when the focus is on people other than him.

R13 He has never cheated but always acts strictly platonic in a group setting. He will even go stand next to someone else when photos are being taken. Is he just a very private person?

R1 well it has been 3 years

If it were that he feels comfortable enough around your parents to roll his eyes and feign yawning at the family photos, that could be good sign. But I'm guessing it's not that.

I don't think your boyfriend loves you. He may not even like you, but he's just sticking around for whatever reason.

R17 what makes you think that? Because of how he rolled his eyes? And because he acts platonic in a group setting and poses with other people in our friend group? Is that really enough to draw a conclusion?

R18, if this is love, I'd hate to see what he does to someone he really doesn't like.

Also when he walks in public he will walk a short distance behind while looking down at his phone. Even when going up escalators which I find dangerous.

I think this is what OP is referencing.

Social media (instagram etc) on both accounts do not have any permanent posts together (only stories-those expire). Worrying?

[quote]Social media (instagram etc) on both accounts do not have any permanent posts together (only stories-those expire). Worrying?

Are there photos of the boyfriend alone? with other groups of friends and acquaintances, just not his boyfriend? Maybe he just doesn't like to be photographed at all, and, when unavoidable, he moves to the back or away from the spotlight. However, if he has loads of photos of himself and all his friends and familiars, - except his boyfriend - and he's not shying away from the camera, that would be a bit sinister.

Before I can give you my expert advice, I need one vital piece of information that you haven't shared. How big is his wiener? Is he a top or bottom?

Also, is he employed or unemployed / student?

R23 when standing together and a friend indicates a photo will be taken, he moves away. He is not particularly active on social media but is willing to take photos front and centre with his friends. In social settings he acts mildly friendly and not romantic. R25 working

Face it, OP. He’s just not that into you.

As if.

R28 as if what?

"Also when he walks in public he will walk a short distance behind "

Is OP an Arab/Muslim and the boyfriend is actually a wife in a burkha?

R30 no...

OP, is he in your program?

Rolling one’s eyes is effeminate.

That’s the larger problem.

R32 very funny

Sounds like he's closeted or is uncomfortable with people knowing he's gay.

"Their"? Oh dear.

As if OP has a boyfriend.

He sounds immature.

It's a sign that he doesn't respect you (in addition to being rude).

[quote] How soon after meeting/dating, did OP bring boyfriend to see parents?

Why ask? We all know it was the first date. Blind date at that.

Had OP put the boyfriend's shit out on the curb with a "FREE STUFF!" sign, and sent a photo of it to the new ex?

Is OP stationed inside looking out the window waiting to roll his eyes and act visibly bored?

No? What's that? He has more details/bread crumbs to lay out before forming an opinion?

Well my partner's parents are Trumpeters so I roll my eyes too. And they LOVE talking about politics. I swear they are trying to troll me some times. So I just kind of BS them. "yeah, just because I am a liberal Democrat I agree with you the only way into this country should be legally." Shuts them the fuck up, they have no one to argue with. Sometimes they will even repeat their stupid statements to see if I change my mind.

I am deeply ashamed i used to do this.

R43 used to do what? You used to roll your eyes in front of you partner's parents? Judging by R2 's likes, it doesn't seem to be a big deal

No i wasnt so crass are to roll my eyes but I'm afraid i was probably visibly bored. I'm sorry.

R45 are you being sarcastic? Implying I am being ridiculous?

Most partners parents are boring. Especially when they start pulling out all the old pics talking endlessly about them for hours with not a single one of your partner in them or of anyone you would know.

I'd get rid of someone like that. If they're so obvious in public, then behind closed doors they're probably a nightmare.

We all have to do things that bore or annoy us from time to time, but most have the decency to be polite and have a bit of dignity.

R47 they weren't looking at old photos they were taking new ones and reviewing the ones they had taken.

R14 Standing next to someone else for photos is just very odd behaviour. There is also no excuse for sitting around acting bored. He can make himself useful or go for a walk if he feels it's unbearable to him. Being an adult also means keeping your shit together in most settings. He is definitely weird. Do you love him? Want a future with him? Why? Do you still have sex? (No need to answer, just ask yourself a couple of questions along these lines.)

R48 He heaved an obvious sigh and rolled his eyes. To me this is bad behaviour but I grew up with strict parents so I don't really know if I am the exception not norm

Hell, I enjoy visiting my boyfriends parents more than I enjoy visiting my own.

Why is the OP surprised? I'm sure it's the same behavior the BF had been exhibiting in bed for years.

Your parents obviously accept you and your relationship. They welcome your boyfriend into their home. Your parents are hurt. His rudeness is inexcusable, immature and cruel. Your tolerance of this, directed at your parents, in their own home, is far worse. What does that say about your character?

Insane that the boyfriend places himself away from OP when posing for pics. Walks behind OP. Is he ashamed of you or himself? How did you meet? Are you the more active participant in the relationship?

It sounds like the boyfriend is marking time.

Is your boyfriend Andrew Cunanan? No wonder he is odd about being in pictures, he doesn't want evidence to show up later after he murders you in bed one night.

R50 yes I find it really odd. During group photos, instead of standing next to or directly behind, he will go to the edge of the group and lean in towards the group with a slightly sheepish expression or stand at the back . The thing is, while he is only with his good friends he will pose confidently. Also had to work until midnight the day before his birthday, Friday (his birthday fell on a Saturday)

He wasn't raised right. Move on.

r58 Yeah I too put the eye rolling thing down to casual rudeness. TBH I doubt most people are as sensitive as me.