Marriage is …

Correct

insurance that someone would take care of you in old age

A life sentence.

An economic advantage.

Co-mingling of money

A lifelong relationship that requires a lot of patience, allowing both persons to grow and change, and accepting that everything is not always going to be perfect, your way or even "good" at times.

You have good times and bad times. It's a partnership. You weather storms together and laugh, cry and love together. Otherwise, what's the point.

A way for governments to make sure the workforce stays focused on work instead of constantly looking for sex

unnatural in apes, including humans

The kiss of death for one's sex life

A fat boor.

- Mayor Pete

For lesbians...

For Old Folks

What OP used to post before bitterness and disillusionment set in.

Prostitution.

A good way to get a new washer and dryer.

Love and companionship for life.

Risky. Your spouse probably won't murder you, but they might.

Caftans.

Earrings.

- Liz Taylor

Horse and carriage.

For children and property.

OP = Erma Bombeck

It's a legal contract. Nothing more. Done in olden times to protect wealth and assets. Frau broads and yaaaas queens invented this whole It's my princess day bullshit.

Sponsored by Hyundai.

For getting laid while fat.

What is marriage?

"Nate Ford," Tim Hutton's character in [italic]Leverage[/italic] said it perfectly:

[quote]I mean, what is marriage? I mean, is it running around rooftops in Paris?

[quote]I don't think so. No. It's pushing a cart around the Home Depot.

[quote]It's pushing a cart around Home Depot. That's what it is, it's hard work. Hard, hard, hard, hard work, people.

[quote]I-I mean, you know, some people don't understand how hard a real relationship can be.

[quote]But... but luckily, luckily, luckily, Adam and Maria, they don't have such problems. No, because, you know, Maria, despite all the fear and doubt that life brings, Adam, when he looks at you, Maria, you know, he knows that you have made him a better man, a better version of himself.

[quote]And now that he's known you, he can never go back. And, Maria, you know that, when you look at Adam, yes, you know you've made him a better man and that he should probably just give up and agree with you.

Stifling and trifling!

To be avoided at all costs.

Immediately changes the dynamic of the relationship. DON’T do it bless there is a huge financial incentive.

The foundation of family law and the reason that many attorneys who practice it enjoy vacations to far-flung places, purchase luxury automobiles, and live in very fine homes which may or may not need to be accessed by automatic gates and which offer luscious views of a city, although some prefer a more rural setting so that their horses and small vineyards can thrive.

Get a pre-nup, kids! Amber Heard began her divorce litigation with a spousal support demand of $50,000 a MONTH.

Marriage was invented so that men with property could ensure that the sons who inherited their property were actually theirs.

Complicity.

... incompatible with parenthood.

You can either build a loving, accepting, and passionate relationship over time, or you can partner up to raise children. You can't do both at the same time.

…for others.

A contract.

Let's be honest, here.

At my previous job, being married elevated your status. Having a child or two (but not too many) kicked you up a notch, as well.

There was a scene on "The Departed" where the Alec Baldwin character summed it up to the Matt Damon (?) character: "You gotta get married [to a woman] so that everybody knows you're not a fag; then you gotta have a kid so that everybody knows your dick works," etc.

Are married people actually happier? Maybe not, but there are social advantages.

The best thing that ever happened to me!

I was never really interested in getting married, probably because it was an institution out of reach to me for the first 50 years of my life. I met the best guy in the world and have never been happier. I hope he’s even half as happy in our marriage as I am; he does tell me every day that he loves me!

Between one man and one woman.

A scam

The last and often unnecessary step in the formal progression of a satisfying primary relationship.

After all, many successful unions do not require a legal contract to promote their value.

I'd like a millionaire husband with a house across the street.

A lot of married couples are trapped and putting on a public front

I never understand why people say marriages are hard work. I’m married and it’s easy. I love him, he loves me, we watch TV.

....DEAD TO ME!!!!

For Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!

The death knell for a relationship. Feeling bound legally and financially creates a sense of being trapped that eliminates any sense of freedom.

Marriage is a contract. It's a way of specifying how property is distributed after death. That's all. If someone thinks it's anything more than that, they're insane. Crazy. Religous = crazy and fucking stupid.

The pot is calling the kettle beige at R46.

Rape-as-practice.

The only worthy partner bond is a handfasting, between two women, performed illegally on sacred land and with no ritual references made to a male or masculine deity.

A useful capitalist strategy of convincing people that their problems and unhappiness are not primarily due to gross inequality, dehumanizing jobs, lack of access to medical care, stagnant wages, inferior education, few to no mental health resources, economic and food insecurity, discrimination, but rather that the real issue is your spouse and his inability to meet all your needs.

.....big business! Dating, engagement rings, weddings, receptions, honeymoons, homes, children, keeping up with the Jones', divorce!

...I've done it three or four times!

As a straight, divorced, male co-worker said to me, "Marriage is buying a house for someone you don't really like."

Catchy!!! :)

.....health insurance.

Marriage was the culmination of a relationship that had seen 38 years by that point. Many years prior we had our lawyer draw up all sorts of legal documents protecting us, and each other, as far as it was possible tp do so before marriage was an option. Once married, we were SUPER DUPER protected, nothing wrong with that.

We still felt the same about each other, there was no earth-shattering change and I would've been surprised if there had been. We married on a Wednesday, and quick like a bunny we had to get my newly-minted husband back to his dialysis clinic in Philly, and I had to go to work. The next night we hosted some friends at our favorite restaurant, it was one of the few nuptial "standards" we decided on, plus being married by a judge and getting wedding bands.

I lost him five years later when his heart did him in after a dozen years on dialysis. I have his wedding band which I'll wear occasionally along with my own, I still sleep on 'my side' of the bed, and I'll occasionally re-read the memory book I'd complied for his 50th birthday celebration(not that I needed testimonials from anyone to remind me that I had found the best man on the planet)

Was marriage vital to our relationship? Not really. If it had never become an option we would've been fine without it, because we knew that being together was the important factor, and was always foremost in our life together.