Sad But True Things About Yourself

I drain my pasta.

I used COVID as an excuse to subsist on the lowest of low rent junk food for at least a month, with no signs of stopping.

There are no vegetables at all in my refrigerator rn

[quote]Going onto to Datalounge everyday is THE gay highlight of my day

Why is that sad?

We're fabulousness incarnate.

Awww love you OP. Not sad at all.

Datalounge, TV and vodka.

Checking for likes or on DL, WWs, on social media boosts dopamine levels. Same as alcohol and nicotine.

R6- WWs

Weight Watchers ?

I believe the world went to shit in 2015 and as a result live in the past.

Also, pretty much every job I’ve had I’ve ended on bad terms. I think the problem is me. I think deep down I’m incompetent at things to do with people. But I have to earn a crust so I inflict myself on the working world.

It’s ok, Miss Gurl R8 ! Everyone at work is an insufferable cunt, that’s why they call it work instead of happy hour.

You’re a job creator!

I loathe my brother’s cunt of a wife, and have ratcheted up the pettiness to an unbecoming degree.

But she was rude first, so fuck her.

R7, no Rose you fat whore, not Weight Watchers. WW on DL means Wit & Wisdom, the first blue circle that is marked WW, next to FF for Freaks & Flames in orange and block, also in orange. WW is the same as a like and I suspect some DLers (that’s Dataloungers) get off on racking up FFs.

You think you've got it bad?! I'm a straight guy and this place is my last resort.

Once or twice a year I get myself a trashy Marketside French Style Cheesecake dessert at Walmart and devour the whole thing. They have a single serve version in a cup but that won't do. I don't know why they call it cheeseCAKE it's more like a mousse.

Going to bars and meeting friends used to be the end of the week treat for me. When COVID happened and the one particular hangout I enjoyed reopened with outdoor seating, I felt like life had returned. Less than a year later, it was open inside and little by little everyone began coming back. Now it takes a lot of energy to get enthused about it as if the time off changed how important it was to me.

I have to force myself now to get even to the grocery store, but enjoy cooking. I'm much more content not seeing people at all, but every two weeks make a point of meeting up with friends. I'm enjoying the video collection I created, burning discs for later viewing, and now taking the time to watch fictional people and not caring much anymore about real people. Datalounge gives me some laughs, but I can tell by the posts whom I'd never want to encounter. I'm the get off my lawn curmudgeon without the lawn.

I actually enjoyed COVID after the first month or two. Not having to leave the house or make an effort. I saved a lot of money by eating at home and lost weight by having time to go for long walks. I caught up on movies and TV shows I'd put off, too. It was like the whole world stopped for a bit and gave me time to catch up. It allowed me to think about what I really want in life and what makes me happy and I've discovered that I can survive a long time without a lot of human contact. There weren't that many people I missed seeing.

The sad part is that I think I've developed a bit of agoraphobia, because my social anxiety gets worse if I have to leave the house for too long. I was never a very social person and my home was always my comfortable fortress where I felt the most alive and happy, but it's becoming the only place I want to be. There have been weeks when I've only left my house once or twice.

Relating to most of these comments. Spend too much time alone, doing nothing constructive, dwelling on negative thoughts. Life is passing me by at a pace.

R14-Your last name per chance is not Claxton as in Frieda Claxton?

Everything in my pantry is labeled and alphabetized.

I hear ya, R15 and R16.

I very bad luck.

I get very scared sometimes and only want to be held and told everything will be okay.

I find The Data Lounge far more interesting than Facebook or Instagram.

Generally I don' t know if people like me. I think they tolerate me. They think I'm useful and I can get things done, and can be witty at times, but I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea. Mostly I just want to be alone and in my little bubble at home, with my pets; with husband if he's not working (we have different schedules), and watching TV, movies, reading or listening to music.

I don't like most of my family, but they are all I have.

R17 I can be if you have fresh prune danish.

Totally hear you, OP. I come to DL for the clever wit, kindred spirits, amazing bulk of historical and current knowledge, aaaaand of course misspellings.

I have a bad habit of not finishing my

[quote]Everything in my pantry is labeled and alphabetized.

R18, I know I don't know you, but I might love you.

I iron my underwear!

DataLounge is my catty yet cozy corner on the dark, world wide web.

I spend too much time here. But it's the last vestige of social media for me, the only place where I might enter into an argument with a stranger, and where I can freely discuss meaty bubble butts and the ultimate egg benedict recipe in one and the same post.

r27, I also love a fellow MGSS (Monica Geller Syndrome Sufferer).

Are you referring to “The Season,” Rod @ r28?

I've been coming to DL since its infancy, truly. I'm 48 and started reading it when I was like 20, a little gayling. It gives me a lift every day or so and I learn a lot! I just wish there were more celebrity nudes.

R29 Meaty bubble butts and my obsession with them are what keep me alive. Don’t know if that’s sad or not.

I’m a slut

I sometimes fly economy.

R32 Yes to more celebrity nudes! And I’m 58.

I miss lockdown because it was the only time I didn’t have FOMO.

There's a can of allspice in my cupboard that expired in August of 1960

For R32 and R36

They aren't celebs per say but hot enough to be posted on the datalounge.

A couple of weeks ago I really missed being in my 20’s, FIERCELY. It’s not that my life was great, but my attitude and outlook was so much more positive, innocent and straightforward. Now I have to think twice before I speak and manage a bunch of personalities at work.

I like to kick, stretch and KICK!

I love getting stoned, watching Murder She Wrote, laughing at JB Fletcher’s huge googly eyes and blowing my man. And eating snacks with voracious munchies.

My house is messy.

I work in a warehouse and I’m 49.

I have been on Datalounge nearly every day since I found it in 2011.

I’m lazy. I hate having to do anything especially work.

R42, your first sentence sounds like heaven.

My life was truly ruined at the age of 21.

Wow, what happened, R45?

^I started drinking heavily and got arrested for DUI and went to jail where I was raped

With the exception of a few friends and family, I stopped seeing or calling other people since COVID-19, and I can’t say I miss anyone.

I'm so sorry, R45

I was drugged and raped at 16. It’s something you never get over.

I thought Jan Hooks' Sad Last Days — living in a cabin, not caring about your weight, having cigs and liquor and food delivered, watching old movies all day — sounded like a fine way to go out.

I made my mind up back in Spokane/When I go I'm goin' like Jan ...

People think I am living a terrific life but if they actually saw me in my apartment they'd know that I seldom go out, I eat junk food, I wear old clothes that I don't bother to wash because who cares, and I spend more time with my cat than I do with any person. I talk to my cat more than I do any person. Datalounge is the most social activity in my day. And night. And in-between.

My career really does define who I am. Retirement is going to hit me hard.

I’m walking away from a guy one day at a time and if I have to spend hours a day on this site instead of communicating with him, then that’s what I’m going to do.

I had ended it and it stayed ended for two years and then he got bored and contacted me (that was last March) and he’s still the manipulative POS he always was. And I was still in desperate need of a friend, so I tried it again.

I may get fat, I may sleep all day, I may take unaffordable trips, I may obsess on the gym: I don’t know and I don’t care as long as the drug I go for is NOT HIM.

That is grim, R12.

I learn a lot and laugh here, in-between the rampant cock and shitposts.

I look like a ghoul.

[quote]I’m walking away from a guy one day at a time

This sounds like one of those gin-and-regret songs, except performed by Bonnie Franklin.

My family is a bunch of losers who judge me because I'm not living the same loser life they chose. My parents haven't wished me happy birthday in years, as if my life means nothing to them.

Their toxic and dysfunctional and student individuals - but it still hurts.

So I lash out and have Karen moments... BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE DISMISSED AGAIN.

R53 so don’t retire! Or become a consultant / coach in your field, mentor others on a voluntary basis, become a member of a board, write articles on LinkedIn and hit the speaker circuit..

There are many ways to stay connected and relevant in your profession after retirement — that is, assuming you actually like your career.

My pussy stinks!

"Checking for likes or on DL, WWs, on social media boosts dopamine levels."

How does the opposite affect you, like when you get called dumb or fagtard or they urge everyone to ff you?

I still think about this very good looking cool guy that cruised me a few times in 95/96 at Splash Bar NYC - EVERY DAY even though I have not seen him since December 2001.

I guess the problem is - nothing was ever consummated so I never got his very good looking cool self out of my system.

EVERYBODY , including my family, tells me that I'm a sociopath and raging asshole. Sad, but true. I'm hotter than the sun though. a blessing, but a curse. But a blessing

R64- Be bold post a photo of yourself. Share your HOTNESS with your fellow dataloungers.

R65, all I can say is, I've just celebrated my 52nd bday, and don't look a day over 41, and still score tons of young dick

I don't enjoy children. It has cost me some friendships.

R67- I don't like Biden. It has cost me some friendships.

Did you vote for Trump in 2020, r68?

I’m 41 and would stay in bed for weeks on end if I could.

- Sue Mengers’ Other Stretch Pants

R64 = Christopher Plummer in Royal Cunt of the Sun

R69- I never voted for Trump. I did not vote for Hillary or Biden either. In 2020 I wrote in Bernie Sanders name on the ballot. I was never excited about him but at least he wasn't corrupt unlike Hillary, Biden and Trump.

I hate trees! I hate people!

Sometimes I get up in the morning and see absolutely no reason to be awake, so I take an Ambien and have a cup of tea spiked with vodka (equal parts).

I don’t give a shit about climate change.

R2- Is there any fruit 🍉 in your refrigerator?

It's not sad for me that DL is a highlight.

I've learnt a lot from some threads. There was one with something along the lines of what information did you get too late in life?'

Also, it's given me a perspective of life when I get older, the types of things I need to do to prepare and how information on how to navigate things that straight people don't have to navigate.

I've also learnt to be a better bitch!

I’m a hoarder. I pity my family when they have to dispose my stuff when I’m gone

R78- I'm a SLUT. I pity my family when they have to dispose of my SEX toys when I'm gone.

I am mixed race and wish I were darker. My best friend is essentially the same background as me and is darker and I'm jealous. I have also never completely gotten over the crush I had on him 30 years ago.

Also my family was conservatively religious but had some really saintly people in it. I respect that more than I respect progressive religions. I've tried the gay friendly progressive religious groups and don't get it. I say to myself "What the fuck are you people doing here. Just join a political group or go pick up trash in the park." There's nothing there. I don't understand what they are doing.

I wanted to go into politics, but I figured too much scandalous shit would come out from college and 20s, so there went that idea.

I never look at myself in the mirror.

Who knew Defacto had that many accounts on DL.

I am not happy with my life and I regret that I was even born. No one knows this. Not even my therapist. All my friends and coworkers say I’m jolly and full of joy.

I love caffeine

I eat raw cookie dough.

I like to watch trashy reality shows while I eat dinner every evening.

As much as I try not to be jaded and cynical, something/someone always comes along and puts me right back in that mindset! It's actually sort of sad for me.

OP, I’m in the same boat. Outside of my Discord friends, the DL is my main source of gay wisdom and socializing. It gives me a taste of normalcy in my otherwise topsy-turvy life. Lately I’ve been stuffing my face relentlessly at my computer. I feel the weight gain in my tummy and it SUCKS. But at least I have the fellow fat whores on here, so I’m not alone.

My penis is really small.

R90, does it work? Mine doesn’t and I have no interest in doing anything to jumpstart it.

[quote] As much as I try not to be jaded and cynical, something/someone always comes along and puts me right back in that mindset! It's actually sort of sad for me.

With age comes knowledge of all kinds of possible shitty outcomes & shitty revelations on humans. As long as you're not discouraging someone (e.g., a younger person) from trying, then I think it's (cynicism) a normal byproduct of years on Earth.

I'm a user. I'm a bad person. Ive hurt good people.

^ I learn to catch myself from verbalizing/acting on my cynicism, or share them only with select people who share the same views. I feel like it's a healthy compromise. I also try to be randomly kind to people who seem open to it (not all are). That helps too.

R89- I went shopping at my health food store today. In the same shopping center is a Dunkin Donuts. I walked in there just to see what they had. I bought SIX donuts from the nice portly bearded young man. I was going to put them in the freezer and save them for a rainy day- alas today we had no rain but I finished all SIX of the donuts- 3 jelly donuts, I Boston cream, 1 apple crumb and 1 cream donuts- I'm disgusted with myself.

R23 yes it's the same for me. And as for R15.

Rarely do I socialise or leave my house unless I have to, and I was like that long before COVID. Haven't ever had a friend in adult life (last ones were in College, they ended badly), and wasn't ever very good at the whole friendship thing either. Never had a partner or S.O. in my entire life, not even casual FWB. I find it overwhelming and depressing and anxiety-provoking to spend time or energy around people, unable to cope with anything more than a few hours or for anything more than superficial one-and-done chats--I've been this way since puberty (though oddly my parents have said I was a sociable child...weird). It's unbelievably stressful for me to work around others, so I just live way below my means and try to avoid it, which is hard.

Honestly, my close-in-age sister is my best and only friend, and we're still tight like we've always been, but I know when she gets married or has a kid she won't have much time for me anymore. Besides her, all I have is my Mom and my puppy. Even trying to make friends or acquaintances saying "hi" and stopping to chat when walking my dog is a struggle, for me and anyone I meet--COVID having atrophied the social skills of others as well as my own.

And it all feels insurmountable, being that I'm 30, and everyone says it's going to get more difficult and lonely from here. Really, I'm at a loss for what to do or how to cope. It's easy to say, "I'll just live without people", but connections give us more than just companionship. A network is necessary for opportunities, perspective, learning, security and protection, help when we need it, a sense of acceptance. It's also easy to say, "just get therapy", but therapy of any quality or specific help is out of reach financially for most.

R88 it sucks, right? My father is relentlessly and vocally negative, and as a depressive ruminating and panicky/paranoid personality type, I have to limit severely the time I spend around him, otherwise I get panic attacks or just fugue out.

I've successfully networked an IBM Wheelwriter 10 Series II® & can use it as a wireless printer, via WP 5.1 from within Windows; my monthly check transmittal notes to the association are beautiful! (Love those old-school fonts!)

I also use a completely restored IBM series "M" keyboard--nothing beats the tactile return & keyboard sounds!

[quote]I also use a completely restored IBM series "M" keyboard--nothing beats the tactile return & keyboard sounds!

Nothing was more annoying to me than the sound of that keyboard, r98. Happy was I when a friend showed me how to silence it.

[quote]Sad But True Things About Yourself - Going onto to Datalounge everyday is THE gay highlight of my day.

Aww honey, it's not that bad.

You've found a place where you're surrounded by your own...

Back in St Olaf, we used to say, "Look on the bright side!"

We can all look forward to the Day of the Princess Pig when we have the pig crowning, not to mention Hay Day. You know, that wonderful day when we all celebrate hay!

And I'm not promising anything, but later today...I may make a big batch of Sperheoven Krispies.

[quote]And I'm not promising anything, but later today...I may make a big batch of Sperheoven Krispies.

While we do not eat the Sperheoven Krispies in my village...

we do find them very useful for keeping the files away.

Datalounge is the highlight of my day as well. The conversations here are more interesting than with people that I know.

R8 I can identify with you. When I was younger I burned bridges. I don’t do that now, but I still feel icky after leaving some jobs, and like I never clicked with the people there.

R104 again - I also feel like I suck at my jobs and have imposter syndrome.

Listen, I don't like other people generally...

But if it'll make you feel better, stop by my place later and we can watch my slutty neighbor having sex...I have a terrific view of her bedroom from my house,

I'm pretty sure some of the stuff she does is illegal, but I can promise it'll be like nothing you've ever seen before.

Since I discovered DL I’ve lost interest in other social media. It doesn’t compare.

I have been posting here for about 10 years. I love it. I always find something to laugh about, even if the other poster is saying something that doesn't agree with what I wrote. I read in this thread that many people are antisocial. So am I. Covid didn't bother me so much because it gave me a legitimate reason to not go out and see people. My husband is as antisocial as I am, so that works out.

R84 That is sad, Bodega Cat. I love reading your posts.

[quote]I am not happy with my life and I regret that I was even born. No one knows this. Not even my therapist.

I'm not trying to be snarky but what good is a therapist if you can't tell them the truth? Either open up or save the money.

I think I’m always going to be fat.

[quote]I am not happy with my life and I regret that I was even born. No one knows this. Not even my therapist.

I'm not trying to be snarky but what good is a therapist if you can't tell them the truth? Either open up or save the money.

I’m the Fredo in my family.

There’s this game no on my phone — I can’t remember how I came across it in the first place — in which the screen is a jumble of what at first glance appear to be random letters. Actually, though, if you look closer they form words.

The game offers you tournaments on the weekend. I always do really well. I start playing at the first opportunity and feel that my weekend is nicely scheduled.

A friend assures me that I’m not playing against real people at all. She’s sure it’s bots. She’s probably right. One weekend, a player named Just Me (or something like that) was the winner and I have since looked for that name and have never seen it.

Not only do I spend my weekends playing a video game against non-existent opponents, I MISS THEM WHEN THEY LEAVE!

I have told this to no one. Especially not the friend I first talked to. I would be absolutely humiliated if anyone knew this was my life.

I used to be better at hiding how weird I am. I would see the expression on a face and know it was time to steer the conversation back into safer waters. Now that I’m retired that need is gone but so is my skill at seeming chipper and involved in life. I’m not.

I'm not poor and I still watch tv on a Sony 20 inch Wega that I bought at the Wiz in November 2000.

I like to drive around with the seat belt dragging around on the street making sparks while blowing my rape whistle.

The biggest reason I like working from home is because I fart a lot. Big loud smelly ones and I'm so glad I don't spend half my work day having to squeeze my ass to keep them in.

During the height of Covid masking I realized I could forego brushing my teeth. So I didn't sometimes. It was like a strange guilty pleasure to hide my unbrushed teeth behind that mask. So stupid!

Listen OP, you're not alone...

My life has passed me by and the best years of my life are gone…and they sucked

^ I know that feelin', honey, but you can still try something new...

"Your Good Girl's Gonna Go Bad"

I've never seen the inside of a bar room

Or listened to a jukebox all night long

But I see these are the things that bring you pleasure

So I'm gonna make some changes in our home

I've heard it said if you can't beat'em join'em

So if that's the way you've wanted me to be

I'll change if it takes that to make you happy

From now on you're gonna see a different me

Because your good girl's gonna go bad

I'm gonna be the swingin'est swinger you've ever had

If you like'em painted up powdered up then you ought to be glad

Cause your good girl's gonna go bad

I'll even learn to like the taste of whiskey

In fact you'll hardly recognize your wife

I buy some brand new clothes and dress up fancy

For my journey to the wilder side of life

I’m the Wiz, r115!

And noooooooobody beats me!

R118 it took my dentist changing to a cute young woman (I'm lesbian) to get me to start using interdental brushes daily and brushing in the morning. Before that I had never bothered.

I have time for DT.

I'm not one of the POORS but I'm still driving my 2009 Volkswagen Rabbit that I bought brand new in March 2009.

R125 is one of the poors.

I'm secretly handsome.

Old TVs, old cars, why "sad"? It's smart to be living below your means. When the shit hits the fan, you're not the one with a bunch of loans you can't pay.

R68/r72 so essentially you gave your vote to Trump and handed him the Supreme Court. That is a sad and embarrassing thing about yourself for sure.

Yeah, I can understand parting ways with "friends" who voted for Trump. But to lose friends over Bernie vs. Biden, that's crazy, unless you have friendships to burn.

And, yes, silly not to vote after Bernie lost the primary.

R128- That's true. I'm not one of those people who buys things

They Don't Need And Can't Afford.

From 2005 to 2018, I drove a 2001 Pontiac Grand Am. I was making $120k a year and was single. I used owning that car to judge people who would judge me for driving a beater. If they judged me by what I drove, they were gone. I met my partner in 2008. I got his mother's 2011 Chevy Equinox when she died in 2018. It had 53K miles on it. She literally used it to go to church and grocery shopping. I work from home. It has 63K on it. It's in great shape. My partner has the new car that we use when we go out. I'm great with living below my means. I'm 66 years old. Should I buy a 2023 convertible. It seems kind of silly.

R132-Oh yes, I agree, buying a convertible at your age is silly.

It was a rhetorical question. I have no intention of buying a convertible sports car. My partner bought the car I would have bought last year if I was inclined to buy a car. One of our friends has a Jag convertible. He's 69. I love him but I don't want to be that guy.

I don't think that's sad, OP, I think we here at Datalounge are simply the center of the gossip and social-trends universe when it comes to the truest information and opinions -- if that doesn't come across as too subtle or vague (?) -- and I'm proud of those things and us! :)

I pick my nose.

R133- I was just being humorous but I agree if you want to be average then live beyond your means. I don't get high from spending my money I get a high from saving my money and spending wisely.

After I’ve done my weekly housecleaning I look around thinking, see what a nice clean house you have? and feel very happy.

People assume I'm a happy-go-lucky person. In social interactions, I am energetic, humorous, and easily make small talk. I'm not being fake; I'm living in the moment. (Afterwards, I feel drained and want to be alone for many hours. Maybe I'm an introvert at heart.)

They assume I've got it together because I seem self-assured. (I hide my insecurities because people use them against you.)

They think, since I'm considered attractive and sound positive, that life must be easy for me. (I've dealt with depression since high school. Instead of therapy, I distract myself with various forms of entertainment. I have manipulative relatives. I've known my share of backstabbers and users.)

I make an effort to look groomed and polished in public because then I get better treatment. It's just a reality of life. (At home, I'm a slob. My hair is usually a mess. My clothes are wrinkled and stale. Yes, I'm wearing sweatpants. If I am not careful, I could be a hoarder.)

The only unconditional love I've ever experienced came from animals. God bless them. That's not unique, of course. Needless to say, I like animals more than people.

I'm a cynical gay male, mid-forties, with ingrained trust issues. So, does that mean I'm a member of the majority here on DL?

Sweatpants on the VGL are permissible, r139.

If you’re rich, you can also turn your life over to obesity!

I'm not rich, R140. I'm middle class and slim (from a fast metabolism. I know I'll get hate for that).

It's just as well that I'm not rich. It might corrupt me, make me arrogant, entitled, AND a hoarder of expensive trinkets. The sweatpants would be cashmere, I'm sure.

I’m secretly gay

After Covid lockdown and realizing how easy it was to basically drop out and disappear, I’ve made an effort to be out and active when I’m not at work. I don’t have a partner and I’m not dating for the time being because I live at the epicenter of Monkey Pox, Fort Lauderdale.

My family know I have depressive tendencies, but they overestimate the severity and depth of it, not accounting for my natural preference to be reclusive, avoidant, dour and not talkative. I believe some of them think I'm heavily medicated, and forgive me a lot of shit or hold back from making demands because of that wrong assumption. They're just relieved they don't have to be in proximity to a depressed person, like it's contagious or something.

In reality, I do have mild depressive stints, have done since puberty and probably will do all my life, but I'm pretty functional and relatively ok. Certainly not zonkered on pills. I just hate them as people, all their boring shallow soulless aspiration, and would rather curve them if I can help it. Afaik not a one of them realise yet that I dislike them and their revolting soulless social-climbing and drunken manipulative BS specifically.

I always fall in love with straight men who never love me back but flirt just enough to lead me on.

I live in a rural area so the only men I interact with are straight so it’s all I have.

I used to dream a dream in time gone by that I would meet someone who loved me back in the way I loved him.

But those dreams are gone.

I work from home now so I don’t think I’ll even have the opportunity to develop a crush on someone anymore since I don’t even work with the public. As awful as this is it might be better than falling for another straight guy that probably secretly resents my attention or makes fun of it.

I love my sisters but I always wanted a brother. I’d be so happy if even today my mother or father were to tell me that I wasn’t in fact their only male issue but that they had given up a son for adoption back in the day and that I had a brother somewhere out there.

I pride myself on being extremely bitter.

I've only really been in love once in that obsessive, stomach churning kind of way where, when they're not around you, you think about them all the time and think you see them everywhere you go. He broke my heart and moved away and I've been in another relationship for close to 10 years now and, while I do love him, it's not the same kind of love. Maybe it's a healthier and more comfortable love, but a part of me feels horrible that I don't feel as strongly about him as he does about me. I know sex isn't everything in a relationship, but I miss the passion and sexual chemistry of the previous relationship. I find myself fantasizing about this guy all the time. I wish I could simply snap my fingers and forget him.

I know I sound like a dumb torch song. I find myself thinking "am I okay with living the rest of my life with lousy sex for the safety and comfort of someone who really does love me?" I weigh the pros and cons a few times a year.

I am well past my prime.

It's 1995, and I don't know whether to vote for Kennedy or Nixon. Probably because I still like a good Dick every once in a while.

I'm in my 50s and realized I foolishly let my family walk all over me. I was the only child with a sense of duty and they all took advantage of it. My siblings left my parents' care up to me and like an idiot I've been a full-time caregiver for 12 years. My mother died and my father has dementia. He has no friends and he alienated his relatives. He only has me. I'm miserable and burned out and my siblings rarely visit. I am quietly getting my ducks in a row. I will just inherit a small house; there is no money. When he dies I will inform my siblings I won't have anything to do with a funeral and will not see them for a very long time. Maybe ever. I'll just live again. I can't wait.

Grow a spine and ditch your dad R151. Wtf do gays always complain about being the only child to care for parents when it's completely by choice?

I saw a video about a Montessori-type home for the olds in Australia. It was nice because they had the old guys rolling bandages and delivering mail down the hall and shit.

Maybe you can get your dad to start earning his keep by making him rake leaves and dust the baseboards while you have a few beers.

R152, I can't afford to leave and lose the house. If I put him in a Medicaid home they take all his money and I have to pay his debts and mortgage until he dies, and I never retire. Yes I'm a poor and I fucked up. That's why I'm posting in the SAD BUT TRUE thread.

I'm easily entertained.

You only truly fall in love once in your life. The love of my life is with another man, and now sex for me is an addiction. Just for pleasure. I will never have true love again.

R152 is clearly speaking from a position of relative privilege.

R151/R154 your situation sounds dire,y heart goes out to you. Your freedom is the most valuable thing, and the loss of that is devastating. It sucks that parents seem to assume that their kids will/have to give up these adult lives for them, and make no arrangements themselves. People can be so selfish.

The same is true of my mother and grandmother (why can’t the homophobic old vulture just die?), and I’m worried that cycle will repeat with me (30, eldest daughter). Being on or under the breadline, and us having no white-collar/special skill work, there’s no option to just pay for home help or ship off the elders. That said, I would love such a choice.

Is there anything you’d have done differently a decade or so ago to ameliorate or even avoid this plight R151? Maybe there’s a recourse I haven’t thought of.

R156 lesbians fall in love with a new different girl every year tbh😂😂

I would trade IQ points for a better body.

I've never been in a relationship and I'm 56 years old 😥

[quote] I drain my pasta.

I assume you mean you "rinse" your pasta. Pasta has to be drained. Who wants to eat pasta sopping wet in cooking water? But pasta should never be rinsed because whatever sauce you put on it will just slide off.

R161- Not only that but if you rinse the pasta you're cooling it off. Who wants to eat lukewarm pasta.

R145 Why don't you live where the men are?

I’m a 24 year old female posting on a site meant for gay men. I’ve also never had a boyfriend, never had sex, and don’t have many friends.

R164- Being 56 years old and never having had a boyfriend is certainly sadder.

I do empathize though.

I drive a Kia.

R166- My car is sadder.

I drive a Camry ( not a V-6 or a Hybrid) just a Camry.

I wish I were a little more straight passing.

R168- Do you look and sound gay or just one of those?

Exactly R162. You were obviously raised right.

I feel a lot better about the state of my life after reading these responses

R159, I'd trade IQ points if it made me less neurotic.

Often, when I'm sick or have some symptom of illness, I secretly hope that it's some illness (usually cancer) that will finish me off within a few months.

I was closeted until this year (I’m 32) and I feel like I missed my best years. And all of that makes me irrationally angry with people who don’t deserve it.

My doctor has advised that, as of Thursday, I am fat. I celebrated by coming home and eating a bag of chips.

R145- I kinda get you. I live in a "better" area than you, but certainly not a gay hub and also in similar employment situation. 43, and this place really is my only connection with the gay world. I just don't "get" most of it-

But what I DO get is how brutally funny everyone here can be, and it really brings me a lot of laughter- generally.

I wish I would have found a partner, that's a small regret, but I have lived a pretty much ruleless life- completely unorthodox and most definitely mine. And for that I am grateful. It gets lonely sometimes, and honestly that's my own fault.

R149- How old are you?

[quote] Is there anything you’d have done differently a decade or so ago to ameliorate or even avoid this plight [R151]? Maybe there’s a recourse I haven’t thought of.

I'm not R151, but I think you have to speak up for yourself, right away. The siblings should get together & talk, at least one time. The cost (of caring for a parent) should be shouldered equally. If someone can't put in the time, then they should put in the money.

You may end up with one sibling saying, fuck it, I'm not spending the time and I'm not spending the money, either. At least you have heard this from his / her mouth and they're forced to say it out loud.

[quote] Do you look and sound gay or just one of those?

R169, a little of both. I love and accept my gay self but it does bug me somewhat that others are able almost instantly to clock me as gay.

R157, thank you for your well wishes. You have 20 years on me and I’m happy for you for that. You have time but you need to start setting boundaries NOW. See a therapist on this issue if you need backup.

R178 is absolutely right: I never put my siblings on the spot and forced them to admit they weren’t going to contribute. They just made themselves unavailable when push came to shove. Make them say “not my problem” out loud and then you know how to act. Do what you can to save money in case you eventually need to move away from them, for example.

I wish I’d have put my foot down with my mother and said “Listen, I’m the only one who does anything for you. In the event that I need to get Medicaid involved with you or Dad, you need to give me access to your finances and let me keep track of your statements since you’re so disorganized. Work with me or you're on your own.”

Don't just go with the flow like I did. Things that seemed relatively minor at the time only now reveal a consistent pattern of entitlement. I was the only one who took our parents to doctors’ appointments. I often did favors for my siblings like pet sitting. I’d cook all day on holidays and they would show up empty-handed to stuff their fat faces and leave. I implored my mother to ask them to contribute, but why would she make the effort? I was always there. It all adds up. If you enable them on the “little” things they think that’s your role and eventually you will too. Stop being available for every little thing so they don’t get used to the idea that they can always use you or they will.

Is there any property? Do you live in a “Lady Bird” state where a house can be transferred directly to children outside of probate? Do you or your siblings have co-ownership of any bank accounts?

Find out how Medicaid works in case it comes to that. I had no idea about the five year lookback. You’ll need all those bank and credit card statements and have to account for everything. If your mother or grandmother wrote personal checks for non-business purposes, that gets counted towards the “Medicaid Penalty” and will delay placement in a home. Talk to a lawyer. It’s not that expensive to just get an introduction to these issues.

At the very least I wish I'd gotten my parents to sign off on a life insurance policy that I would pay for. It would have helped a lot in getting started once my father is gone. I get the house via Life Estate Deed – the “Lady Bird” Deed that’s available in some states. I’m co-owner of his meager bank accounts. Therefore I get to avoid probate, thank God. I have a small home business that will pay the bills so I won’t starve.

My biggest regret is not facing honestly how fucking selfish my family was/is. They never had a hard time saying “I love you” “I really appreciate you doing this” etc – but I see now they were just blowing smoke up my ass. Talk is cheap.

I drink piss

I wish I was a younger girl!

I wish I was an older girl!

R180, I'm glad you are getting a house at the end of all of this. I lived with my mom at the end of her life. One day, my younger sibling came over to "help," bringing her laptop computer and her partner, as well. They ended up not doing much (worked on their computers) and I ended up feeling like I was taking care of 3 people (mom, sister, and sister's partner). I was pissed.

I’m in debt.

Op = mega spaz

^Beyonce

I never forgive, probably because I never considered anyone worthy of forgiveness.

W&W, r182!

I shitpost on a Malaysian basketweaving forum for fun.

I was a weird ass child who eventually became a weirdo adult. I was simply born weird.

R146, this happened to me in real life, I have a brother but always wanted and begged my mom for a sister, and one day a woman contacted me through FB.

She was nine years older than me, a carbon copy of myself- and unfortunately an emotional mess. She wanted to know more about my (and her) dad, who had passed away decades ago. I had NO idea if my mom knew he’d been married, about her, or that he’d been divorced as a teen before they met.

My brother absolutely thought she was a fraud after an inheritance, and didn’t want anything to do with her. All the dates she and him met matched up with his stint as a teen in military training, though, she had a picture of him and her mother, and the mother was unstable and having been spurned and then divorced by my father as a teen, kept any info about him from her and denied he was even the father!

It was as though the fabric of reality tore open. My father never mentioned her, but when he discovered the mother was going to put her up for adoption, he sent money to the grandmother to care for her. I didn’t have the best childhood, but my heart absolutely broke for hers when I spoke to her for four hours on the phone. It really was awful.

Unfortunately we agreed to meet, but there were NO sparks or feelings of being siblings at all. She was going through several serious emotional issues with an ex, moving, etc. and I wasn’t ready to deal with her bringing all of that to the table. She was looking to know about my dad, not especially more about me and it showed.There was no denying she wasn’t my sister. She couldnt look any more like my dad and still be a woman, LOL. She even had the identical cowlick on her forehead!

She asked me to take a DNA test and I refused, and that chilled our relationship. Then she said something about another man being her father instead and I kind of let her go.

The worst part is when I finally asked my mom, she said my dad mentioned it 15 minutes before they married, then never said anything about it ever again. She has dementia, and when I brought it up again a few years later, she didn’t remember anything about it- then got really upset, saying with tears in her eyes, “Why would you tell me this? I wish I never knew!”

It was awful and I never mentioned my half sister ever again to her. Be careful what you wish for!

I don't know whether this is sad or not, but I have extreme trust issues with people I don't know. I'm 69 years old and I've had more people than I care to remember attempt to get something out of me they didn't deserve. Money & favors being the top two. I guess because I'm a small guy people have seen me as probably being a pushover, and they are shocked when they find out I'm not. But after so many decades of putting up with that kind of crap I am at the point I don't seek any sort of relationships with new people. I have my small set of true friends and I am completely happy & content with them and need no more. I'm also completely content with being alone a lot of the time.

^Hi Leslie Jordan

Thank you r191. Sometimes it’s best to let the past stay in the past.

I’m hot.

R195- Have a large glass of cool water.

R42 I think I love you

So many of you act like you're dead and can never find a partner.

I will never get 3 more inches to make it 12.

I like watching videos like this.

The skater guy in the last scene got totally mowed down

I'm reduced to eating Top Ramen as I type this. Actually, it's some no name brand from Walfart.

R201- Please refer to that company by it's proper name

CHINAMART

Yes, Thank you. I'm changing it to CMart. Even sadder was that the ramen was/is labeled chicken vegetarian. What kind of PFAS, forever chemical, frankenramen is this?

I’m lost

I’m insecure and self-conscious. I hope to find love someday but it’s a struggle due to social anxiety and fear of rejection.

^work on self-love first and everything else will follow

I put cat urine in the mustard pot of a French landlady who had treated me badly. Bon appétit, Madame D!

Bona Petit!

R205- Those are things I’ve struggled with for many years too and are probably the main reasons- especially fear of rejection- that I’ve never been in a relationship.

....

I too have put cat piss in my landlady’s mustard.

R211/R207 my landlord and landlady just left after the weekend, but I kind of wish I'd spit in their drinks.

I buy junky candy and eat it in private.

I'm 68, have a pulmonary fibrosis disease and currently on oxygen 24/7. Prognosis is not good and may have two years remaining. On top of that, I'm having trouble maintaining an erection that even Viagra can't help.

Thankfully, I have lovely friends who care and help me when needed. Maybe for Christmas, one of them will find me a hooker so I can have sex one more time. I don't care if I orgasm, just want to bottom one more time.

I’m secretly a bottom

R215=Alec Baldwin

R214 I'll donate to the GoFundMe, bitch! Smooches!

Like many, Covid has made me a happy homebody. Partner and I go out to dinner earlier now too. We want to get home and have time to stream something good before going to bed. I also think that weed is the greatest thing that ever happened to my mental health. But that's a whole other story.

R218 weed and all its various methods of ingesting is fantastic. I've all but quit drinking (just on Saturdays), but every evening includes a few drops of tincture and it's so much better than booze.

Back to the topic at hand.

I really wish I could go back on the blow. Those were happy days.

So many casual drug users and pill poppers on this forum, whilst at the same time looking down their nose at those who drink alcohol. The hypocrisy is breathtaking.

I enjoy bad thrillers. I mean the kind of films you see on Lifetime level bad. But when someone asks me " have you seen any films you enjoyed lately?" I respond by praising whatever is currently being fawned over by NYT critics.

Because alcohol is aging, Mary!

R223, yeah and walking around like a pill popping zombie stoner is such a great look.

R221 ime alcohol is ironically the drug that makes people more antisocial. It triggers people—men especially—to be violent and belligerent and pushy, shutting off all empathy.

Some drugs do that too (Tina...), but more often than not party drugs open the heart and the mind.

I have 3000 pairs of shoes

That’s too many, breh.

I think Insta-hoes are doing the Lord’s work.

R167 Toyotas are good cars. I had a Toyota before and it was a more solid and tight car than my Kia.

[quote]I will read news stories at bbc.com and nyt.com

I consider this the saddest thing about you, OP.

^^^^^ yes

R226= Carrie Bradshaw

^more like Imelda Marcos to me

Same here R68

Great-great grandparents on my great-grandmother's side died in a murder-suicide.

My great-grandmother's older sister died when she was a toddler when an oil lamp fell on her and my great-grandmother also lost one of her brothers in a fire and one of her own children died after falling into a bathtub full of boiling hot water.

My great-grandfather's father was actually his stepfather (my biological great-great grandfather was a bigamist). We only found this out nearly 15 years ago and were shocked.

Two of my great-aunts and two of my cousins have been married three times each. One cousin has been married four times.

Another great-aunt was raped as a teenager, impregnated and sent to live in Chicago to conceal the pregnancy and give the baby up for adoption since it was the 1960's, my great-grandparents were religious and the rapist was African-American.

She later got married and had 3 kids until her husband was killed in a freak construction accident (closed padlocked casket at funeral) she then married some asshoke who was physically abusive to her. She left him decades ago but they never divorced. She's been an alcoholic for 60 years.

^how will your life end

For those of you who are alone...

interested in boy from North?

My husband died on Wednesday.

I’m sorry, r238. :(

I am sorry R238

I'm a FAT WHORE

Thanks R239 and R240. It really is unimaginable.

R226 I have 3001

I’m a man child

I have a small penis

R238 - I'm sorry for your terrible loss.

I never had an orgasm

^I’ve had orgasms (self-administered), but I’ve never had so much as a kiss let alone sex with someone else. Partly by choice, but partly by circumstance.

The worst part I find isn’t the absence of experience itself (it’s just mashing body parts and skin together, so what?), but rather the feeling of alienation from an experience that seems to be common or even near-ubiquitous. Makes it hard to connect with or relate to others, sometimes.

Oh, well, there’s other life to life. With every passing kissless and celibate year as an adult, I do get significantly less sad and worried by the fact, so there’s that. At 16-21 I genuinely thought I’d pass away from lack of intimacy. At 30, I’m only slightly depressed. If I make it to 50 or 60 years with no change, I probably won’t care anymore; maybe I’ll even want to celebrate it.

My condolences, R238

I love Miracle Whip.

I don't like Kerrygold butter. Actually, I don't care for any of the European butters .

I prefer Breakstone. Land O Lakes if the Breakstone is out of stock.

My favorite type of Cranberry sauce is still the kind that comes out of a can ( I do have standards though- it must be served chilled).

R238, I'm sorry for your loss.

I let my dogs eat my ass

I'm attractive, fit and have good job. An optical catch, but I have a lot of childhood trauma of physics; abuse, gay rejection, and shaming. I am so afraid of people other than my trusted close circle of childhood friends that I hold on to for dear life, but they are good people. I want a partner and I think I have a lot of love to give, but I am so scared and just can't seem to get it right. I am really trying everything - workouts to keep fit/mainly reduce anxiety, a wonderful therapist, meditation, medication, and even a support group for men who come from abusive families. I also came from a wealthy family which does throw a juggernaught in all of this well. I match with other guys like me, but most had happy families and I'm estranged from mine (RED FLAG), I'm into monogamy and I guys who are very sexually active is a turn off when that's what they and I should be doing as single, youngish gay men (RED FLAG), I don't have a group of gay friends and often feel distrustful of gay men b/c I grew up in LA and was out as a teenager so I saw a lot a young age (RED FLAG). I am just a bunch of red flags and even though I have been very fortunate in many ways. I can't seem to shake these issues that hold me down, even when I am trying my best. I also don't want to lie about who I am. I'm OK going it alone and more comfortable as time goes by, but I feel like if I don't really try to go for it, trying to find a relationship, I'll regret. At least if I try and fail, I know I did my best. Ugh! Life is tricky and getting trickier.

I used to go to work, at my white-shoe Manhattan law firm, high as a kite. Nobody knew for sure—or did they?*

*I had enough sense after a few years to quiT “cold turkey” and not 👀back. I was very smart, and at the same time a feckin’ idiot🤷🏻‍♂️

Cocaine, r256?

R255- You seem to have a RED FLAG fetish.

You don’t have to fly your red flags, you know. We all have them, just keep them in a box under your fishing tackle.

[quote] You don’t have to fly your red flags, you know.

This is true but when even mundane conversation is a red flag (are you close with your family, etc) the red flags pop up immediately. Estrangement is very taboo.

[quote] when even mundane conversation is a red flag (are you close with your family, etc) the red flags pop up immediately. Estrangement is very taboo.

Yes, unfortunately people are too quick to judge such situations without having full context.

For example, I was estranged from one entire side of my family as a child, because my parents both had an inheritance dispute with my father’s siblings after my grandparents’ deaths. I was eight or nine years old when it happened, and was forcibly cut off and moved away by my parents against my will and understanding, so what could I have done? Plus my family members didn’t try to challenge the estrangement or make amends later on, which made it pretty clear to then-teen mind that they couldn’t have wanted to stay in my life that badly. So I lost a dozen relatives, the people who’d raised me, for something that had nothing to do with me and that I had no choice over.

But unless I get a chance to explain all that to someone, saying “I’m estranged from my Dad’s family, and my Mom’s family emigrated” (again, nothing to do with me, they left when I was little) makes people really nervous and puts them off.

Just lie! It’s none of their business anyway!

Some of you need to really work on your social skills.

My pussy stinks.

Imagine telling a person you’re not close to that you’re estranged from your family. Bitch, what???!!

Just say they live in Jersey and Mother’s family lives abroad and and then turn the convo to the other person.

It’s rude and strange to go into uncomfortable personal details during small talk. Get it together, ho!

Not to mention COVID, “We hope to get together this year, but COViD, you know…”

When someone asks at a cocktail party , “How are you?” Do you reply “honestly” with “MAH COOTER ITCHES!!!” ??

I, myself, haven’t seen one branch of my family in 35 years. I’ve never mentioned it because no one cares.

You need to go on.

[quote] [R211]/[R207] my landlord and landlady just left after the weekend, but I kind of wish I'd spit in their drinks.

Let’s call them by their real names, shall we?

“Mom and Dad”

R268 nope, my parents live in a Winnebago and I will inherit nothing from them, so guess again, hon.

Shill!

I don't think most people would consider it estrangement if you don't talk to your aunts, uncles and cousins. Most of us don't. What makes some people uneasy is when you don't talk to your parents and siblings (not me, though - I barely speak to my own father).

But who’s going to know unless you blab it?

You can finesse anything, even if you’re married.

[R257] No; not coke.

I’m cheap

I'm more or less asocial. I just avoid being around other people irl most of the time and always have, since childhood (long before COVID). People annoy me.

^That’s why I have dogs instead

I've only ever had one regular adult job and that was just filling in for someone else while they were away on maternity leave. I've always made money through art, but it's never been steady and, because of that, I've never been the breadwinner for my relationship. He always told me he was fine paying most of the bills, but I always feel like a failure. If I'm meeting someone for the first time and they ask what I do, I always tense up. If I tell them the truth and say I'm an artist, they usually follow up with "oh! Nice! So, what do you do for money?" It makes me feel like shit.

At times, I feel like a 50's housewife. I make a little money and have enough to pay for just about anything I want in terms of material things or food if my husband is off somewhere, but there's still this feeling of dread when I think about what would happen if he were to die or if we broke up. I'd be like Blanche DuBois having to move in with family and slowly lose my mind.

[quote] I'd be like Blanche DuBois having to move in with family and slowly lose my mind.

If it makes you feel any better R277, I've had 'adult jobs' and non-creative roles in the past, and due to bad luck/judgement/timing have still dropped out of the workforce and ended up with my family and losing my mind. It's not the fault of Art, and your creativity is probably your best quality and salvation.

I justify eating white bread because I freeze, defrost and toast it which supposedly lowers the glycemic spike.

This tidbit would probably be better suited to the "Underwhelmed.." thread but I'm locked out of that. However, I feel the need to share this about myself. Is that sad?

There's a pubmed about this theory but this article is easier to read:

I’m sad that I live alone in my beachfront property in Malibu

R238. I am so sorry about your husband. Having them here one day and gone the next is soul crushing.

On a happier note, I don’t have a family. I have a brother, but after years of trying to make amends, realize it is never going to happen.

His contempt for me is frightening

I suck dick for coke.

I suck dick for cum

I eat corn and it do not care

I've been dead for 25 years.

Don't hate me because I am beautiful!

When I was at school I was picked on quite a lot (surprise), was small and thin. One afternoon, I was beaten up by a kid who had just started junior high. The worst part was that I was in final year senior at the time. I was really smacked around. I can still hear the relentless thudding of his fist on my face and bystanders clapping and screaming him on.

I will never forget the feeling of overwhelming shame, fear and sadness I felt walking into that school the next day. I was a complete outcast and object of ridicule for the remainder of the year by practically all the students in the entire school.

Nothing in my adult life since (35 years) has been as bad.

^virtual hig

When I was six years old my uncle Tony Soprano-ish grabbed me by the neck, slammed me against a wall and said I had "disgraced the family".

There is not a lot of longevity on that side of the family, most only live into their late sixties and a few into their early seventies. This bastard lived to the ripe old age of eighty-eight despite multiple heart attacks, cancer and smoking like a chimney since he was thirteen.

When he finally died I danced around my house to Pharrell's "Happy".

What had you done at age six, r289, to "disgrace the family"?

My mother and I had gone to my grandmother's house for some kind of ladies sales party like tupperware. Grandma's house was an inner city three story row house with basement and houses very close together.

While the ladies had their party in the living room I colored or whatever at the kitchen table by myself. I heard a commotion in the basement and for some reason went down to basement to investigate. I don't know why as I'm not sure I would do that as an adult. Uncle Tony Soprano-ish was beating up my grandfather on the concrete basement floor and cussing about some construction job. I screamed bloody murder and all the ladies from the party came running in addition to the next door neighbors as the basement door was open. After ambulance left with grandpa and everyone had cleared out that is when he slammed me against the wall. In his warped mind the problem wasn't what he had done, the problem was my screaming that alerted everyone thus airing family dirty laundry. He also hated my mother because she was divorced, him being the morally superior mobster and Catholic he was. The police were told grandpa fell down the basement stairs.

Grandpa had a heart attack in the ambulance and died.

^that’s awful. That must have scarred you for life growing up in that environment

R291 I'm surprised someone in your family didn't kill that murdering bastard.

[quote]that’s awful. That must have scarred you for life growing up in that environment

Thankfully my mother and I only had to see him occasionally at my grandmother's house and at weddings/graduations since he otherwise shunned my DIVORCED mother. After grandma died that decreased contact with him even more.

[quote] I'm surprised someone in your family didn't kill that murdering bastard.

Everyone was afraid of him even his brothers. All the local politicians attended his family functions. I foolishly tried going toe-to-toe with him a couple of times as a teenager in defense of my mother, that was before I fully understood the scope of his power... I moved away at 18 and only had to cross paths with him very infrequently at major functions after that.

I'll shut up about this now, thanks for listening!

R291, do you recommend putting a whole porch chop in the sauce as it cooks?

I’m assuming you brown it first?

Thoughts on lamb vs pork?

* Pork chop

In my 40s, and my primary drug of choice has become sleep.

I’ve never been to me.

I'v never even been to Chicago.

The Polish guys are HAWT and BLOND and HUNG r299!

R297- MY drug of choice since I was a teenager has been sweets.

R297 why is that sad or weird? Most people 40+ favour reasonable bedtimes and 8 hours shuteye, don't they? That's normal, I thought.

I’ve never been kissed

I’ve never been fisted

I put my bread - in the REFRIGERATOR

R303 me either. You’d be surprised how many adults walking around haven’t, it’s more than you’d think.

How old are you, out of interest? I just turned 30.

r306 r303 Why have you never been kissed? Have you never had sex?

R307 well, I’m R306 so I won’t speak for R303. In my particular case, I haven’t had sexual or romantic physical contact of any kind, and barely any online either.

Since my teens, I’ve had at least two dozen offers despite shy (borderline asocial), and while I can fairly be seen as boring or sheltered as partners go, I’m certainly not offputting in other ways, I.e. I’m not rude or mean or cheap or fat or smelly or all that ugly. When people do notice me or get to know me, they almost always like me.

The reasons for my celibacy up to now are myriad, so I won’t bore by posting the whole list with footnotes & backstory. Nutshell—overly quiet, passive, avoidant behaviours predominating due to: depression since teens+unresolved grief and survivors’ guilt+iatrogenic and neglectful mishandling of medication+mild-moderate bullying at home & school (not as far as extreme abuse, more exclusion and mockery) creating low self-worth and concept. Plus low libido and unconsciously self-closeting. It all creates a seemingly insurmountable block on the adult passionate self. I also struggle with pursuing ‘passions’ more generally.

Someday your prince will cum, r308. And so will you. I hope you and r303 can get to osculating ASAP.

I’m scared a lot of the time. More like frightened, but I do weird things that put me in fucked up situations. Something is really off with my judgement lately.

I have never fully recovered from Pat Nixon's death.

I’m outwardly handsome, confident, good-looking, and successful, but I had a really rotten childhood full of all kinds of abuse that I struggle to overcome, even at 40.

My family is ghetto trash that I struggle to connect with on basic levels. They’ve all treated me like shit my entire life and I don’t interact with them much at all. I’m not even seeing them for Christmas this year, I’m likely going to some resort alone.

I am resented because I “got out,” have an Ivy-league degree, and pull in about $250k+ a year which I still don’t even think is enough because I know people worth millions and I fear I’ll never get there.

I left my husband - still one of only two people in the world who have never betrayed me - 2 1/2 years ago and I miss him a lot. I traveled the world and fucked around and it doesn’t matter I want to do things with him. Sometimes I just want to run away with him and go somewhere and fix our marriage but I know that’s just me being in a weak moment talking.

I have to make some big changes. The reason I can’t be with my husband is we both have shitty family situations and it makes it too hard for us to be together. I dream of partnering with a man from a decent family so I can have in-laws I connect with.

My lack of family is my biggest barrier in life.

R312 I can so relate. I always roll my eyes whenever I see a movie or TV show depicting proud, poor parents beaming with pride over the graduation/success of one of their children. It is simply not like that. Lower-class families are CRAZY about policing people who move out of their social class.

I can't swim.

Before the pandemic, I roasted my friends about binge-watching tv shows. I thought it was a waste of time.

Now I binge watch all the time. Damned Covid. I will stay up past my bedtime to see another episode.

Thank goodness I work from home.

[quote]I believe the world went to shit in 2015 and as a result live in the past.

I sorta feel the same, and what's very sad about that is that I was only 33 then, haha.

Also, I do remember suddenly finding the preoccupations with youth and desperation to still seem in your 20s that my friends were doing at the time seemed so unrelatable to me. Sadly, I have always been too old for my years. Sometimes I look back at my young self and wonder why I didn't make more use of those years.

I spend way too much time in nostalgia, particularly for years I wasn't even a live or was just a baby in. But I do genuinely feel that a lot of the entertainment and aesthetics of those times are just more interesting. I appreciate modern day health and gay rights, and that's about it.

R314. It’s not too late to learn. Any YMCA or local pool will give you the basic skills in a few hours of lessons. You’ll want more—it’s fun. And it really is a skill that could save someone’s life (even your own)

I am a self-diagnosed control freak but cannot control my eating. I have lost weight on diets so I know it’s possible. I lost 30 lbs. on WW in 2019. But COVID hit and i just said ‘fuck it.’ I just don’t want to put in the work. What sucks is I hate the way I look but, apparently, not enough to do anything about it.

R315- Are you FAT too?

That would be the REALLY sad but true thing about yourself.

R318- You have to be motivated to lose weight. At my peak in May 2021 I weight 274 3/8 pounds. I've lost 38 pounds as of this morning- some days I weigh a bit less and sometimes I weigh considerably more- I do still binge on occasion.

It's a never ending battle. Weighing myself every day is important to stay on the wagon- ONE of the important ways.

I was a leftist until my 30s and now I can't stand anything left/woke/progressist anymore.

I hate being gay

I hate R312, too stupid to live.

I preach to people about the importance of voting, yet I haven't voted in Canada since 2006. I just became a citizen of the US last year, and will vote in November.

Data lounge is the last thing I look at before I go to bed. It has probably cost me years of my life.

R313 It was true in my case, no one in my family ever went to college and I was the first one, and my parents did beam with pride at my graduation.

R255 You're on the defensive. Maybe you're being your own worst enemy. "It's complicated" or "Long story" is probably all the explanation you owe a person you don't know well yet. If someone gets to know/like you I doubt they would care if you're estranged from family members. You seem a little too focused on your own issues. Sometimes therapy can do that. You can get stuck in a self-analyzing mode.

You're not defined by your past or who you're related to. I also think you seem too concerned about having the right relationship, or being hurt. That isn't how it works. The more you do it the more you'll get used to it.

I was unable to cycle until I taught myself in my mid-twenties. My father didn't relate to me easily, so he never taught me although he taught my sisters. We lived in an isolated place and I had no friends, so there were no contemporaries to teach me either. I'm still shit at cycling (how is that even possible, you may ask) but at least I can do it now. I am a tiny bit proud of myself for having done it, however small it may appear to others.

R320, I agree. I need something else to motivate me. I don't want to be on blood pressure meds and statins when I retire. That's an expense I'm pretty sure I can control now. I used to use my in-person Dr. visits as a motivator but just chicken out and do video calls.

I do weigh myself everyday, when possible. That doesn't seem to motivate me either. I just have to stop being lazy and be more conscious of what I'm eating and why.

R328 Don't weigh yourself every day, it can un-motivate you. If you have a weight gain even though you feel like you're starving (it happens) you will very likely decide to give up.

I second that, R329. Day-to-day weighing is not helpful because you may be digesting a large meal, for example, which gives a false image of your weight. Week-to-week checking is both regular enough to keep you on your toes but far enough apart that you can see clearer trends over time.

Weighing yourself can also be misleading if you’re just equating a loss of weight with losing fat or a gain with gaining fat. Putting on muscle with increase your weight, losing muscle with reduce your weight.

*’with’ should be ‘will’ above.

IMO, you *should* weigh yourself every day. I lost weight, long-term. This is one of the things I did and will continue to do. What you monitor, you manage (eventually, at least).

The trouble with weighing yourself everyday is how demoralising it can be when you don't drop weight one day or even seem to put on a little bit. Weekly/fortnightly is much better so that you don't demotivate yourself.

I say once you get to your goal weight then start weighing yourself every day.

You shouldn't weigh yourself every day. Or rinse your pasta.

I’ve only had sherbet and vodka today.

R337 = DeFuckto

I’m not him r338. Why are calling me that?

Probably because DeFacto is reputed to be an alcoholic, R339.

Thanks, r40. I’m in bad company it seems. Maybe I’ll think about cutting down.

I’ve never audibly laughed.

R342- LOL !

I hate being gay. It has never brought me anything of lasting value.

I have never made love. I have had plenty of sex though. And I rarely if ever come. My hand and mind are the best lovers I have ever had.

I also am always attracted to straight men, although as I get older they lose their allure as well- they to have never brought me anything of value.

Although I am loved ( very close to my family) being single and gay- if I would die tomorrow they would all get on- quickly!

Maybe you could bump some threads from 2015, R344?

OP are you me?

OP are you me?

I repeat myself.

Are you there Judy? It’s me God.

There are days I don't say a single word to anyone. It doesn't dawn on me until the following day.

No shame in loving DL, OP. It’s the smartest, funniest place on the internet—a safe refuge—unless you drain your pasta. Honestly, don’t know what I’d do without it—particularly in the past two dark years.

I’m hot af

I love my fiancé, but the sex is terrible and I have a collection of dildos I've hidden and use on myself from time to time to pretend I'm still getting banged by lots of different guys on the regular.

I've lived life as a lesbian for 20 years and have only recently come to a realisation that I was probably straight all along. I was married to a woman and everything and feel embarrassed and pathetic.

I wanted to see what a condom felt like when I was a kid. So I wrapped my dick in clingwrap and masturbated. I threw the cum-stained clingwrap into the toilet.

Later, as it turns out, the clingwrap had failed to flush but, instead, formed a seal at the drain. The net effect was that the toilet overflowed, and my dad marched me and my brothers into the bathroom and demanded to know "WHO DID THIS! THIS!!!!!!" as he thrust in our direction a toilet brush with a cummy piece of clingwrap on the end.

I blamed my older brother.

ROFL 🤣🤣 r355 for the win!

I’ve been alone for a long, long time. No friends, no family. I have many interests so I keep busy. I’ve always been a little socially inept except on my own terms. I just accepted it long ago and stopped trying to be “normal”. I can interact fine with clerks and such, but I can’t do small talk to neighbors or people I meet outside. I can’t smile anymore at people either tho’ I laugh at stuff on TV. It looks like a grimace. I don’t really know why. I’m blessed in other ways so there’s that and I don’t feel sorry for myself. Just stating this fact.

I love to walk naked on the shore of a nude beach, wearing and carrying nothing. I used to be a bodybuilder, and I don't do any manscaping, so I do stand out from the rest in a crowd. But, I'm equally happy being alone on the shore. Being one with nature makes me so calm. I have nothing with me which can hide who I am.

The sad thing is other people think it's creepy or they think I'm showing off. They don't know until they try it.

I understand & like you r357.

R357 r359 I do too. I went to a party recently where i went through all the motions. I dressed up, appropriately, took a gift, greeted the host and hostess, smiled for the cameras, talked to people who knew me without them know I had no idea who they were... And all the while I felt removed, elsewhere. I have renewed my vow never to attend these social functions again, ever.

R357 R359 R360 You're all suffering from depression.

R360 r357, Last Saturday night I was in your shoes. I got dressed appropriately, grabbed a bottle of wine for the hosts (next door neighbors,) exchanged pleasantries with them and as soon I lost sight of them, I left.

I went back to my place, keeping all the lights off. I stayed in my bedroom, eating sherbet and drinking. No names to remember, no boring stories, no introductions….blech! They’re very nice people, well dressed and attractive. But I’m me…getting more uncomfortable everyday.

R362, are R337?

*are you

I look great. So what. I am alone.

If you're gonna do that much humblebragging, R358, at least post some pics.

I’m easily dickmatized.

I look lousy. So what. I am alone. No one will notice.

R363 Ha ha, yes.

The less I see my friends, the less I want to be around them. I could easily be housebound and withdraw from the world. I'd rather be with my partner and my family. They're the people who matter.

R362/R337, do you eat the sherbet and drink the vodka separately, or do you pour the vodka over the sherbet? Or maybe put a scoop of sherbet in a shaker with vodka and mix 'em up? Because sherbet+vodka sounds delicious!

Also, do you have trouble finding sherbet nowadays? I grew up eating it as a summer dessert treat, but it's hard to find around here. That is, I can get it, but the variety of flavors and sizes isn't what it used to be.

Before anyone comments: Sherbet is not the same as sorbet. Sorbet is not a sherbet substitute.

I'm 38 and have never once had a man reciprocate my interest. The most recent was being brutally rejected by an older male colleague last weekend. I'd been sure going for someone a bit older would up my odds. While I'm not a model in my looks or body, I'm not obese, nor do I have any obvious disigurements or issues that would lead to constant rejection. I wish someone could tell me what's wrong with me.

R371, thank you! It is delicious.

Sometimes I spike my tea with vodka and eat the sherbet separately. Sometimes I do this: in a metal shaker, one scoop of sherbet and enough vodka to cover. Give it a few shakes, just enough to loosen it up & pour it into big cup/glass. Top with a little more vodka & club soda.

As far as availability of sherbet, I’ve only got two connections. Baskin Robbins or the Hispanic market around the corner from my house. Generally, orange & rainbow are all I can find.

I'm easily irritated if I'm interrupted.

I've tried working on this over the years, but it's just too difficult to remove myself from this. When I'm listening to someone, I give my full attention, and engage. I wait until they are done talking to start responding, and I don't get distracted if something strange occurs. I get irritated because that favor is so infrequently returned. People ask a question, and they don't stick around for the answer....

I'm not nearly as good a friend to others as I require them to be to me.

I'll be 50 in early 2023. I know it's super gross, but I had a weight problem in the distant past and have been alternately anorexic and bulimic for the past 20 years.

I come to Datalounge every day.

No matter how crappy it is, I'm here for you, baby!

I have no social skills. Chronically shy. It tends to drive people away.

R344 this resonates so much with me. Though I haven’t lost my taste for straight men yet.