What are we getting Miss Lindsey for her birthday today? She's 67 years young!

Oooh, she's a cancer? Well, that's what I wish her, then.

I'd love to shove a white hot poker up this piece of shits flabby, white, entitled ass, but I know she'd enjoy it too much.

And that's 67 dog years.

A quiet dinner at Morton's with his beau Brett.

Everyone knows I'm turning 29. That Wikipedia page is fake!

Are his eyes digitally enhanced for colour in this photo?? Good god.

An energetic mandigo.

A case of smelling salts.

An evening with Nestor

A fainting couch with a fan that matches the upholstery.

A weekend at Dollywood dressed as Dolly.

A gift set of Chantilly eau de toilette, dusting powder, and body lotion

Some vintage Summer's Eve.

Is he really only 67?!

Another lawn jockey for her private collection

A soul.

I know what she wants...

Omg he’s only 67?? By the way, his initials are LOG.

I can't believe I'm older than Miss Lindsey... I'm so much cooler then him 🙂

Bachelors' night out!

Nick German NYC

A rag drenched in TFG’s ball sweat.

R21, I already have that

[quote] Omg he’s only 67?? By the way, his initials are LOG.

Amazing! .. He doesn't even look 50 yet!

^ You're drunk again, Lady G

There's really only one possible birthday gift for Lindsay.

I've got what you need, Lady G...

Monkey Pox.

The same thing Jimmy Fallon got for his birthday, but the guy has to be better looking than Seth Rogen.

Lube for his cellmate.

We can't get him a rent boy. He hires one of those every week.

An indictment would be perfect.

Subscription to Noirgay.com.

Subscription to Black Inches

Measurements are 34/38/40.

Lady G is a pear? 😳

I have a wish for his 71st birthday: I hope he receives a reporting of a scandal which destroys any chance he has to get reelected or achieve any political office in the future.

Maybe a Conscience?

Waterboarding and genital electrocution at Gitmo!

A spine.

I suggest a cyanide tablet.

NO! Two cyanide tablets!

Handcuffs.

^ Aww, you like me, you really like me 😍

R41, my gentleman caller, Mr. Kavanagh, is bringing those tonight! *giggle*

A Kinkade painting…

A sequined enema bag.

R45, already have one! I'm the girl who has everything

Wikipedia says: "Graham has never been married and has no children."

I am actually surprised that he has never married, even briefly, just to try to keep up appearances, considering that he is from South Carolina and a Southern Baptist.

Acid pie in the face.

Testosterone implants.

A red.velvet.cake shaped in the form of a double dildo. Tinkerbell and the Cock Gobbler can each take an end.

A Rhett Butler teddy bear that wets itself.

@r47, "Graham has never been married and has no children."

Miss Graham has always been devoted to the well-being of the people of South Carolina and never had the time to pursue something as selfish as marriage and family. He's "married" to the people he serves... Just like Jesus 😂

A visit from the Ghost of Christmas Past, John McCain, to tell him that he's in great peril and needs to redeem himself, lest he lose everything & go to jail for his Orange God

Do you think we could get Aaron Schock to pop out of a cake?

R47, she's too busy juggling her gentleman callers

How about an environmentally safe way to eradicate his ladybug problem? Perhaps a lovely praying mantis or a cute little green anole lizard.

If not that, is cancer an appropriate present for someone who is a cancer (astrologically and to democracy)?

That is a disgusting old fat queen, give her some Bugoff !

RAID!!... Kills ladybugs dead 😂

A big black dodo for that pasty saggy ass

A replica of Trump's fat ass so she can continue her kissing.

(R43) Still laughing.

^ Already have 12 of them

I refreshing glass of iced oleander tea.

A bowl of Pussy Noodles

Anyone else thinks that photo is adorable?

I hope she doesn’t already have one. If so this one can always go in her master bedroom in South Carolina.

I got him this robe.

The Clay Aiken and Meghan McCain Christmas album.

A bludgeoned death by a fat black dildo

I second the cyanide capsules.

It's the thought that matters...

A romantic trip to Cancun with Lyin’ Ted.

Lindzey Belle would prefer this robe, R67, though she doesn't have the figure to pull it off.

Ewww r71. Not with ole booger eater. A proper lady does have her standards.

I want to go with my dear Brett,

Warthog stampede with a twist of nitric acid for flavor.

A very sharp and shiny pike for his head to be mounted onto.

She is going to celebrate by treating herself to 12 thick inches of uncut black sizemeat!

That’s good pussy.

[quote]Trump, Kavanaugh, and Manchin

Do tell us more you foxy vixen.

She looks like she collects Precious Moments figurines.

An indictment, handcuffs, and a walk of shame to the Atlanta courthouse.

Belles - By George

This selection would look eloquent on Miss Lindsey.

I thought "eloquent" and "elegant" meant different things.

Please, can we go back to the cyanide?

Kneepads

A jail cell with a little teaset, an American Doll, and daisies in the potty.

A corset

A Colonial Beehive Wig

In the moonlight, strolling through the garden at Mar-a-Lago.

Her well worn copy of Mandingo. She identifies strongly with Blanche, the bored plantation owner’s wife who fucks the black slaves.

A lap dance at Scores (strip club)

[quote]Oooh, she's a cancer?

Difficult sign, Cancer. Very tricky.

Gift certificate for AAA Rent Boys.

Perhaps a painting of the purported huge mushroom head of Trump's penis.

I repeat. I am no floozie. I am a sophisticated lady that interest very respectful gentlemen with needs for gratification.

A Port-A-Potty" because she's full of it.

Hard kick in his groin fat

Donald doesn’t move fast. He watches in a recliner and orders Junior to chase me around the Mar-a-Lago pool, catch me by my bikini, tickle me all over, and turn me over to him for more discretionary fun.