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I don’t like it when people call me “boss” as a salutation.

As in, “what’s up boss” or the like.

I’m nobody’s boss, but more importantly, it’s condescending. It’s disguised as a friendly gesture, or even showing respect to someone as a casual greeting or as part of transactional conversation but that’s not what it really is.

What it really is is a thinly veiled slight and a personal commentary and frankly it’s tacky and socially awkward.

by Anonymousreply 111February 11, 2024 2:39 AM

Sheesh, ok boss!

by Anonymousreply 1May 23, 2022 1:26 AM

Would you prefer "Ma'am"?

by Anonymousreply 2May 23, 2022 1:26 AM

How is one to respond? If I’m the boss, then what are you?

“Thank’s for asking, employee, I’m well thank you. “

by Anonymousreply 3May 23, 2022 1:27 AM

OK, I'll start salutationing you as CUNT

by Anonymousreply 4May 23, 2022 1:27 AM

Bosslady?

by Anonymousreply 5May 23, 2022 1:29 AM

I shall address OP with, "Out of the way, WHORE!"

by Anonymousreply 6May 23, 2022 1:31 AM

[quote] How is one to respond? If I’m the boss, then what are you?

“Thanks, champ!”

“I’m doing great, my friend, how are you?”

“I appreciate it pal”

by Anonymousreply 7May 23, 2022 1:31 AM

If I was the boss, and was addressed this way, let’s just say that I would not exactly be impressed.

by Anonymousreply 8May 23, 2022 1:31 AM

I enjoy it, since it's so rare.

by Anonymousreply 9May 23, 2022 1:32 AM

OP, what about it seems insulting? Do you think they mean it ironically?

by Anonymousreply 10May 23, 2022 1:32 AM

It’s a gesture of contempt. And it’s offensive.

by Anonymousreply 11May 23, 2022 1:33 AM

OK, twatwaffle.

by Anonymousreply 12May 23, 2022 1:35 AM

Do white people now say boss?

by Anonymousreply 13May 23, 2022 1:35 AM

Okay, OP.

You're the boss.

by Anonymousreply 14May 23, 2022 1:37 AM

Non-thinking people do it non-thinkingly.

by Anonymousreply 15May 23, 2022 1:40 AM

[quote]It’s a gesture of contempt. And it’s offensive.

How so? Please elaborate.

by Anonymousreply 16May 23, 2022 1:42 AM

It's a common enough greeting, quit being such a fussbudget!

"Boss" is gender neutral, so give people props for that!

by Anonymousreply 17May 23, 2022 1:43 AM

It’s the seething resentment of it all.

by Anonymousreply 18May 23, 2022 1:44 AM

[quote]It’s a gesture of contempt. And it’s offensive.

Said no one on earth...until you, precious!

by Anonymousreply 19May 23, 2022 1:45 AM

Would you prefer "Yo, Angela!"?

by Anonymousreply 20May 23, 2022 1:45 AM

Yo! Chief! Just chillax. They didn't mean nothing by it.

We cool brah?

by Anonymousreply 21May 23, 2022 1:45 AM

It’s not like I’m Paris Hilton or Bill Gates for crying out loud. I’m well below any conceivable poverty line. What do you want from me already?

by Anonymousreply 22May 23, 2022 1:45 AM

So tender to the touch!!

by Anonymousreply 23May 23, 2022 1:46 AM

[quote]I enjoy it, since it's so rare.

I get it all the time, mostly from younger Hispanic men. It's meant with respect, sort of a more casual version of "Sir."

by Anonymousreply 24May 23, 2022 1:47 AM

I have no knowledge of this greeting. Is it a Gen Z thing?

by Anonymousreply 25May 23, 2022 1:47 AM

How about hoss?

by Anonymousreply 26May 23, 2022 1:47 AM

I hear you, buddy.

by Anonymousreply 27May 23, 2022 1:48 AM

Completely agree with you. A guy I waited on used to do this all the time, he was such a douche. I don't know why, I was always polite.

It's a way of belittling someone. Or I'm really out of touch with bro culture.

I hate buddy too. Best, and take care as well.

by Anonymousreply 28May 23, 2022 1:51 AM

[quote] I get it all the time, mostly from younger Hispanic men.

I get it occasionally from Aboriginal Australians of both sexes.

by Anonymousreply 29May 23, 2022 1:54 AM

I think R24 is on to something. I ride the bus a lot in a Southern city and find the younger black drivers often call me “boss” but never “sir”. I really don’t sense any sarcastic intent as I an a regular and always refer to them as “sir”. not “driver” or worse like many passengers. I hear it from young white guys too. They sometimes call me “Pops” which I don’t like much.

by Anonymousreply 30May 23, 2022 2:01 AM

What about Guv? I like it.

by Anonymousreply 31May 23, 2022 2:19 AM

I never consider it any kind of passive-aggressive type of intended greeting, IMO anyway. I've just always thought of it as a sort of friendly, respectful way to greet someone. For instance, at the gym I may see familiar faces or someone might hold the door behind them as they see me also on my way out behind them, and I might even say in response to them, "Thank you, sir," or "Hello, my man!" Maybe I shouldn't (?). I mean nothing but goodwill by using such expressions when greeting others, guys anyway.

by Anonymousreply 32May 23, 2022 2:29 AM

It used to be Cap'n from the blacks.

by Anonymousreply 33May 23, 2022 2:29 AM

One great thing about being a tall old white man is the way young white guys call you “Sir” and their duskier counterparts call you “Boss.”

by Anonymousreply 34May 23, 2022 2:34 AM

^ it's ironic then when used by African Americans.

No offense, Big Man.

by Anonymousreply 35May 23, 2022 2:40 AM

I wished someone Happy Birthday on Facebook and he responded "Thank you, sir." It wounded me. (I'm 25 years older than him, but don't rub it in)

by Anonymousreply 36May 23, 2022 2:46 AM

Respond by addressing them as "insect."

by Anonymousreply 37May 23, 2022 2:47 AM

It’s usually a friendly overture, in my experience. I like humor in greetings..maybe They’re being friendly. In rare case could be hostile, but try to take it as someone being irreverent and friendly.

by Anonymousreply 38May 23, 2022 2:52 AM

I see no offense at all.

by Anonymousreply 39May 23, 2022 2:53 AM

Anyone is welcome to call me boss, but no one ever does.

by Anonymousreply 40May 23, 2022 2:54 AM

[quote]I get it all the time, mostly from younger Hispanic men.

My Mexican lawn guy occasionally calls me "Jefe." It's clearly just learned politeness.

by Anonymousreply 41May 23, 2022 2:54 AM

I prefer "Jermajesty."

by Anonymousreply 42May 23, 2022 2:58 AM

OP, it sounds like you were misgendered...

by Anonymousreply 43May 23, 2022 3:02 AM

I call Op "white man" as in "hey, white man."

What I mean is "hey, crazy white man".

by Anonymousreply 44May 23, 2022 3:09 AM

In this case, I would go with how it is said Rather than sticking on the word choice. We all say stupid stuff at times. Hopefully they’re trying to be sociable and funny with you. I like it when people say random greetings.

by Anonymousreply 45May 23, 2022 3:14 AM

MISS OP HAS STATED HER BOUNDARIES!

by Anonymousreply 46May 23, 2022 3:15 AM

[quote]I wished someone Happy Birthday on Facebook and he responded "Thank you, sir." It wounded me. (I'm 25 years older than him, but don't rub it in)

Pshhh. I’ve had guys call me “sir” while I was fucking them. (And yes, I was 25 years older than them).

by Anonymousreply 47May 23, 2022 3:15 AM

Mostly straight men say this, especially black men. It's a familiarity I also dislike (much like when they shorten my name as if we're buddies).

"Boss" is the least annoying in my opinion. I'd rather hear that instead of "Big Man!" or "Chief."

by Anonymousreply 48May 23, 2022 3:17 AM

OP is telling you NOW so he doesn't have to tell you THEN.

by Anonymousreply 49May 23, 2022 3:19 AM

[quote] Would you prefer "Ma'am"?

Obviously, this gal is a "ma'am."

by Anonymousreply 50May 23, 2022 3:20 AM

And the name isn't 'Boss,' it's 'Janet.'

'MISS JACKSON,' IF YO' NASTY!

by Anonymousreply 51May 23, 2022 3:20 AM

I'm a female teacher, and I have a Ph.D., and some of the male students call me "doctor" or "doc." It sounds so stupid because really you'd only call a medical doctor "doctor" and especially "doc." But they are being polite so I don't say anything.

by Anonymousreply 52May 23, 2022 3:22 AM

Ok well if it’s just me then it must be my issue. Not sure why it comes across to me that way. Maybe I’m just taking it the wrong way.

by Anonymousreply 53May 23, 2022 3:23 AM

Sir is different.

by Anonymousreply 54May 23, 2022 3:23 AM

R52 not this fake ass shit again.

by Anonymousreply 55May 23, 2022 3:24 AM

I am just "being waiting" for my PR card in the mail, Boss.

by Anonymousreply 56May 23, 2022 3:55 AM

Butch Assurance!

by Anonymousreply 57May 23, 2022 3:58 AM

Emily Post in her 1920s version of her famous etiquette book said while traveling or away at boarding school, etc. it is the height of rudeness to sign your informal correspondence as follows:

YOURS IN HASTE! TIMOTHEE

THE REASON BEING it’s a subtle boast on your part about how your life is just so fabulous and full, and boasting is very unseemly.

So of course I use it all the time in notes to my sister.

by Anonymousreply 58May 23, 2022 4:06 AM

Here’s Miss Post herself::

Not Good Form

Cordially” was coined no doubt to fill this need, but its self-consciousness puts it in the category with “residence” and “retire,” and all the other offenses of pretentiousness, and in New York, at least, it is not used by people of taste.

“Warmly yours” is unspeakable.

“Yours in haste” or “Hastily yours” is not bad form, but is rather carelessly rude.

“In a tearing hurry” is a termination dear to the boarding school girl; but its truth does not make it any more attractive than the vision of that same young girl rushing into a room with her hat and coat half on, to swoop upon her mother with a peck of a kiss, and with a “——by, mamma!” whirl out again!

Turmoil and flurry may be characteristic of the manners of to-day; both are far from the ideal of beautiful manners which should be as assured, as smooth, as controlled as the running of a high-grade automobile. Flea-like motions are no better suited to manners than to motors.

by Anonymousreply 59May 23, 2022 4:11 AM

My husband is a man in uniform. He says he gets this ALL the time. He has also said that if he had to work with children he would call all the boys chief and all of the girls princess.

by Anonymousreply 60May 23, 2022 4:13 AM

Today a hot cashier at a minimart in Mokelumne Hill, CA, called me “boss.” I didn’t mind one bit.

by Anonymousreply 61May 23, 2022 4:14 AM

I don’t mind it. What should they call me, just Hogg?

Offsite Link
by Anonymousreply 62May 23, 2022 4:18 AM

I usually hear it from young (white) male store clerks. They also say “no problem” instead of “you’re welcome.” I’ve gotten used to both. It slightly bugs me, but it’s not worth getting upset about it.

by Anonymousreply 63May 23, 2022 4:23 AM

[quote]He has also said that if he had to work with children he would call all the boys chief and all of the girls princess.

That’s cultural appropriation and gender stereotyping! Would he be wiring with indigenous children? He needs to call them all “small persyn”.

by Anonymousreply 64May 23, 2022 4:37 AM

"Big Man" means you're a fat btw.

by Anonymousreply 65May 23, 2022 12:24 PM

You want to know where beef jerky is being? Second shelf where is the slushie machine, boss.

by Anonymousreply 66May 23, 2022 1:10 PM

Never had anyone call me boss except for when I was actually their boss and even then not very often, but I use to know a couple of people who would call me "Guy" Like hey what is up Guy? they would call a lot of people that, I figured they were just bad at remembering names.

by Anonymousreply 67May 23, 2022 1:18 PM

I prefer to be called: "Fucking bossy-bitch" It's more appropriate to who I truly 'am, and it's not the least bit condescending.

by Anonymousreply 68May 23, 2022 1:39 PM

My father told me if I ever have a problem with a crew of non-English speaking laborers, don’t attempt to have a conversation. Just go up to one and in a deep , gruff voice bark sharply “Boss man! BOSS MAN!”

He claims they all know that this means you mean business, and to get the supervisor on the double.

by Anonymousreply 69May 23, 2022 1:57 PM

It goes back to slavery days when blacks would say: Meesa be seeing you massa. Latahs, boss.

by Anonymousreply 70May 23, 2022 2:00 PM

So many of you constantly looking for reasons to be offended.

Is it because you were constantly bullied as kids for being femme and you just think everyone is still mocking you?

by Anonymousreply 71May 23, 2022 2:13 PM

It has been used to me intending a playful level of real respect, in a "I defer to your expertise, pal" kind of way. The only time it made for bad vibes was once when the person said it when my own boss was in attendance. She gave me [italic] such [/italic] a look.

by Anonymousreply 72May 23, 2022 2:29 PM

Jagmeet is not liking it when people call him that too, boss.

by Anonymousreply 73May 23, 2022 9:49 PM

I'd agree that many of us seem to stretch a point looking for offense when none is intended. For myself, I have never been able to hear the now ubiquitous "No problem" without it slightly rankling me, for no logical reason. On the other hand, this thread made me realize that the shop owner of the local little grocery that I frequent has always called me boss. He clearly means it respectfully, he is just about the nicest shop owner I've ever known, a total nice guy.

by Anonymousreply 74May 23, 2022 10:07 PM

Props to r17 for using “fussbudget”!

by Anonymousreply 75May 24, 2022 12:55 AM

😂🤣💀, R44

by Anonymousreply 76May 24, 2022 5:14 AM

[quote]I'm a female teacher, and I have a Ph.D., and some of the male students call me "doctor" or "doc." It sounds so stupid because really you'd only call a medical doctor "doctor" and especially "doc."

Many people in higher education call a Ph.D. holder "doctor." On campus, anyway. It would be weird at the grocery store or any other non-educational setting, though.

by Anonymousreply 77May 24, 2022 5:20 AM

[quote] I have never been able to hear the now ubiquitous "No problem" without it slightly rankling me

It infuriates me, R74.

I don't need staff who are paid to fix problems impertinently telling me—

1. That they have no problems (I don't care!).

2. That I have no problems (I do and that's why I'm speaking to you).

by Anonymousreply 78May 24, 2022 5:28 AM

R28, maybe it's because you were practicing your skills in handling irritating situations. And you did it well. I hope you've been rewarded for being the adult in the situation.

How about being hones, OP? Point out that it is only at work and since you are both off duty, you can relax and unwind.

by Anonymousreply 79May 24, 2022 5:37 AM

The one that drives me fucking ballistic is "No worries"! Grrrrrrrrrrr. I once went to a drive thru Starbucks and the stupid fuck said "No worries" three times so then I started screaming it back to the fucking cunt.

by Anonymousreply 80May 24, 2022 6:19 AM

“No problem” is just as bad. It’s too informal for the majority of cases in which it is used.

It’s generally bad form unless you use it with someone you know personally.

by Anonymousreply 81May 24, 2022 6:21 AM

“No worries, boss.”

And you’re fired.

by Anonymousreply 82May 24, 2022 6:33 AM

Yes, or they will have a new hole that needs to be dilated every day.

by Anonymousreply 83May 24, 2022 7:05 AM

It's right up there with "Bro", "Dude", "Bud", "Buddy", "Faggot"....

by Anonymousreply 84May 24, 2022 7:23 AM

Take it easy Champ, it’s only a nickname!

by Anonymousreply 85May 24, 2022 7:26 AM

Whatever you say, shithead.

by Anonymousreply 86May 24, 2022 7:41 AM

Beats kiddo or toots.

by Anonymousreply 87May 24, 2022 10:22 AM

[quote]R77 Many people in higher education call a Ph.D. holder "doctor."

What would their reaction be if it were, ”Hi’ya, Doc,”?

by Anonymousreply 88May 25, 2022 12:45 AM

Hey ke-mo sah-bee, hey amigo, hey pal.

by Anonymousreply 89May 25, 2022 3:52 PM

“Buck up Buttercup!”

by Anonymousreply 90May 26, 2022 6:37 AM

Rochester always comes to mind when I hear "Boss!"

by Anonymousreply 91May 26, 2022 6:48 AM

What is it, you cuntface?

by Anonymousreply 92May 26, 2022 6:50 AM

A simple “What are you doing here?” is a perfectly fine salutation to use on OP.

by Anonymousreply 93May 26, 2022 8:38 PM

Prickly people are wearying.

by Anonymousreply 94May 26, 2022 8:45 PM

Fuck you then

by Anonymousreply 95May 26, 2022 9:41 PM

There was a I think Haitian guy working on the crew doing some electrical work at our house today who called me “Papa.”

by Anonymousreply 96May 26, 2022 10:06 PM

I love it

by Anonymousreply 97March 24, 2023 3:29 PM

R7 in England, ‘pal’ is considered to be rather hostile and passive-aggressive (and American), while ‘boss’, ‘our kid’, ‘mate’, ‘butty’ and the like are all purely friendly.

by Anonymousreply 98March 24, 2023 3:35 PM

As a woman, I hate it when anyone calls me ‘Miss’ or ‘Ms.’. I’m not a fucking teacher, my marital status is none of anyone’s business, and I have a first name for a reason. And ‘Ma’am’ would be mortifying. I’m not the Queen, am I?

Something more neutral like ‘boss’ or whatever would be nicer to hear.

by Anonymousreply 99March 24, 2023 3:37 PM

how about "sport"?

by Anonymousreply 100March 24, 2023 3:39 PM

It's like the middle east where people may refer to you as "afendi" which means boss. It's a cultural carryover term.

by Anonymousreply 101March 24, 2023 3:40 PM

No, "Champ" would be passive-aggressive condescending. "Boss" is not. Get your head out of your derriere OP.

I prefer "My Liege"

by Anonymousreply 102March 24, 2023 3:42 PM

[Quote]Do white people now say boss?

Some of the blue-collar white guys in New York say boss.

Some of the latino guys say "pa."

by Anonymousreply 103March 24, 2023 3:50 PM

Don't take it so personally, OP.

"Boss" in your case is just short for "Bossy Bitch."

Oh, wait. The OP posted this six years ago and with that personality we know something has happened to her in the interim that takes her out of being concerned about what people called her.

by Anonymousreply 104March 24, 2023 3:55 PM

Man up and stop being he weird OP

by Anonymousreply 105March 24, 2023 4:00 PM

R99, you’d prefer a stranger call you by your first name rather than “Ms.” and your last name?

How is anyone to know the unique things that offend people? It’s a minefield out there.

by Anonymousreply 106March 24, 2023 4:01 PM

I get it. I was bullied too. And learned to read relaxed jocular man energy as a threat. But as an adult, at some point, you have to get over it and understand that when straight guys use language like this they are 90% of the time not being sarcastic or "impertinent" (Mary!) but friendly. Guys tease each other. they bust each others balls. Sometimes theyll call you "Boss" in a passive aggresive way but most of the time, they dont.

Gay culture does the exact same thing with "gurl", "mary" etc etc.

And as with Gay culture this can slip into the toxic, but theres definitely no reason to run to the lifeboats when the dude at the gas station answers your question with "whatever you say, champ"

Even if he deos mean it snakily, who the fuck cares? you shouldn't. go live your life like the boss he thinks you arent and dont let it eat at you.

High School is over.

by Anonymousreply 107March 24, 2023 4:06 PM

'sup boss.

by Anonymousreply 108February 11, 2024 2:05 AM

Boss is common term in New York City, especially but not exclusively by immigrants. It is similar to affendi which means boss and is still used in the middle east. I'm not a fan of the term but it's doesn't upset me.

by Anonymousreply 109February 11, 2024 2:33 AM

Call me Diana...

by Anonymousreply 110February 11, 2024 2:38 AM

OP?

Lighten up, Mary!

by Anonymousreply 111February 11, 2024 2:39 AM
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