Why so much self-hate on Datalounge?

It's the opposite. DLers lash out at "Gen Z" and millennials because they're old and jealous

They hate fat women like Lizzo and Chrissy Metz. Many are fat men themselves so they don't hate fat men as much

First rule of Datalounge...nothing you read at this forum is representative of "gay people."

OP, it can be seen from space that you started this thread because you are mentally ill and your personality disorderS know no bounds. I'm sorry you've been banned by other message boards. But please stay the fuck off DL because you're boring. No worse insult can be hurled at anybody than that, m'kay?

Lots of trolls on here trying to convince us that anti-gay laws aren’t really anti-gay

Zem3n-Wambuis, YOU are calling me unfit for datalounge, YOUUUU? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

OP, stop being such a hateful turd.

Just be the turd you are.

Shut up, you decrepit fat whore!

Where are you reading this OP?

For example in the thread asing if all models should be physically perfect specimens. My goood, the hate in the comments...

I don't read those threads. Must be why I've avoided those "self-loathing comments.

We don’t hate ourselves, OP. We only hate you.

[quote]I'm no psychologist and can't explain why gay people HERE SPECIFICALLY hate what they are so much.

You're obviously new here, dear. DL gays have ALWAYS despised:

1. Frauen. Partially jealousy – they get to fuck so many of the men DLers desperately want – but also annoyance, because ... well, they're frauen. That goes double for any frau who's either fat or fug and still manages to land a hot guy.

2. Any out gay people. After spending decades either cowering in the closet or dealing with their own repulsive physical appearance, DL gays DESPISE anyone who has it easier than they did.

3. Any/all hot men. Again, DL gays have zero chance of ever fucking any of them (either gay or not), so they express their internalized hatred over it via posting the worst types of bile here.

Only a fatass would ask that question.

R12, that's a great response. And, by the way, are frauen all women or a specific type of women? I never could understand.

You miss OP’s point, r12. He’s saying we hate ourselves, not people we envy.

Frau is an archetype. Anyone who thinks all women are frauen is probably a frau.

Because half are undercover far right 4chan trolls

There's a good number of gay men here are realistic and don't live in fantasy like the straight women and some of the other gay men. We can see a fat woman and say explicitly and correctly that her fat makes her grotesque. We are not going to falsely say that she's actually "beautiful". Concerning the Florida law, or trans news, any story that we are expected to toe the line on the approved narrative, we are going to look at the reality of the situation and state things the way they are, and not go along with saying how wonderful the emperor's clothes are.

THIS: 3. Any/all hot men. Again, DL gays have zero chance of ever fucking any of them (either gay or not), so they express their internalized hatred over it via posting the worst types of bile here.

OP it's not us we hate, it's you.

One of the things that has always bothered me about DL, as much as I love it here, is that when DL wants to trash somebody the first thing they usually go to is some kind of homophobic slur or insinuation. I have never understood why implying that someone is gay is considered a putdown on here - and not in a fun kind of bitchy way - but I guess it's part of the culture here.

There are also a lot of people who live in bubbles on here and somehow think that their experience is the only experience and so you see a lot of trashing of things that they just don't understand.

Good point. And they insinuate dudes are gay or effeminate with nasty relish, as if being gay or effeminate is bad. And then you have the types who use female names and pronouns to refer to gay men or nonmasculine men. Very offensive and ignorant

I refer to someone on DL as "she" only when it appears to me that she is straight woman.

R18, so if "the way things are" is a homophobic, restrictive reality, we must kowtow to it and play along with the hate du jour? What a grotesque statement.

r24, the kind of lies you use are the ones people like you try to use to keep everyone in line.

r22 I refer to someone as "she" when they're either a woman, a drag queen. or because it's funny. Not much more thought goes into it than that.

R25, lies? Wtf are you talking about?

The bigger question, OP, is why you come to a site that has a specific flavor, terms, and rituals, and then complain about how things are here and try to change everything to suit your own personal view of how things should be. If you don't like it, go to a site with more moderation and rules.

Good point, r28. It's the squatters on the site, who don't belong here, who do most of the complaining.

Who's complaining, R28? I only see a question. Besides, shouldn't we try to improve our surroundings instead of running when we don't like something? Your reasoning is outdated and flawed.

Those self-loathing fat homos are mostly QAnon loons and Log Cabin cunts. They are here to lash out at us, happy, pretty homos, out of envy, of course.

[quote]We don’t hate ourselves, OP. We only hate you.

Why are "we" trolls always so wicked?

[quote]shouldn't we try to improve our surroundings instead of running when we don't like something

You say "our", but if you don't fit here, then it's not your surroundings, it's someone else's and you should go worry about and improve some place that is "yours".

R33, people like you slways talk like you're the only ones in the world and everything belongs to you but... you're not. And it doesn't, lol. Sorry.

Lots of “gay teachers should keep their mouths shut about their personal lives” and “gays would live in equality if it wasn’t for trans.”

Trolls, not real gay opinions

R35, exactly

[quote]We can see a fat woman and say explicitly and correctly that her fat makes her grotesque.

The only thing "grotesque" here is your own fat-phobia, which presumably stems from either being fat yourself or – much worse – being a former fattie who now feels holier than thou (more like cuntier than thou) after starving yourself down to a 30-inch waist.

[quote] One of the things that has always bothered me about DL, as much as I love it here, is that when DL wants to trash somebody the first thing they usually go to is some kind of homophobic slur or insinuation.

I often think this. I thought a lot of the comments in the kindergarten teacher thread were homophobic as well, like r35 said. I'm a straight woman and I don't give a fuck if you call me a frau or make fun of fat women.

R38, well you should. Because it's cruel and not nice. Don't you have any self-respect as a woman?

[quote]The only thing "grotesque" here is your own fat-phobia, which presumably stems from either being fat yourself or – much worse – being a former fattie who now feels holier than thou (more like cuntier than thou) after starving yourself down to a 30-inch waist.

Remember, r37, fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life. I hope that admonition leads you to reducing to a healthier weight, even as you hold on to the other two attributes.

R40, we understand that you're Alain Delon?

r30 of course OP is a complaint and it's completely disingenuous to claim otherwise. It's not "just a question". Your idea of "why shouldn't we want to improve our surroundings" implies that other people agree with you that there is something _wrong_ with the existing site, its terminology, its rules, etc. Your definition of "improvement" and other people's definition of the same are not going to be equal, and it's pretty presumptuous to think you know what's best for everyone else.

Call it outdated if you like, but a lot of times things are the way they are because people like them that way. You may not like them, but that does not necessarily mean it's bad, or needs to be changed.

OP, take your smug bullshit and shove it into your disease front hole.

[quote][R38], well you should. Because it's cruel and not nice. Don't you have any self-respect as a woman?

Fat jokes make the internet go round, like it or not. DL is about the comments, not about trying to convince readers that you are or are not a thing. If you get wounded by anonymous criticism on the internet then fuck off to Facebook where you can tie comments to personalities.

This is why we can't have nice things- like datalounge

R44 don't you tell me what to do, you pathetic fat pick-me marmosette!

R44- I'm a FAT WHORE and proud of it.

In what way are any of the examples self-hate?

OP is right, of course. There are some posts here that would lead to a ban for homophobia on most non-gay boards. Unfortunately, self-hate is a very common disorder among eldergays.

[quote]There are some posts here that would lead to a ban for homophobia on most non-gay boards.

I've only seen straight women on DL use the F word in a derogatory way and I have seen them wish gay men would become infected, and that's definitely homophobia from the women but obviously is not self-hatred. They hate us, not themselves.

R50 there absolutely is rampant homophobia from men here - against lesbians, against trans people and against other gay men, especially bottoms. Are you new here?

r51, you're saying that you don't recognize that the people making the statements are straight women.

I love guys feet

Absolutely OP and anger- almost unbridled at all successful famous people- and even those who are not famous. DL is home to and a forum for angry unhappy (mostly) gay men. I’m convinced.

R52 no, I don't recognise any such thing. If you really think so, this is your own misogyny you need to deal with.

OP is a smelly cunt.

R51 You left off your list the ugly shite about femmes. I like all types of men, and many femmes have a lot going for them. Many are sweet, and kind, and don't deserve to be dragged so much on a gay forum. Easy to bully people online, I get that, but the lengths some posters go to here is really sad.

OP if you want a kinder, less controversial gay forum go to askgaybros on Reddit. That’s just not what we do here. But we do show up for each other when someone is sick or loses someone or is facing some serious crisis.

Also, Reddit won’t make you lol like datalounge does. They just don’t have the wit.

Anonymity...it's a gift...

r55, so you are saying that you yourself are female and you are here to criticize gay men.

People who attach "self hate" to others are typically the ones with horrific self esteem and self loathing. I hope you get help, OP.

This went well.

R60 no, but your misogyny is showing YET AGAIN.

r63, so you are proving again that you are female. I'll give you credit for so far not lying and claiming that you are not.

So, because I'm not a misogynist and don't like people who are, I must be a woman? Make it make sense.

R60 Something to consider...Lesbians have little tolerance for misogyny, and they should be welcome to voice their thoughts and opinions here, even if and when the misogynist happens to be a gay man. Being gay doesn't give you an automatic pass for being unevolved. Stop being an ape, or excusing the apes.

It's not a mystery OP

Many, if not most DLers are lonely Eldergays who grew up at a time when being gay was considered by many to be a fate worse than death.

They got the message from everyone they knew that gays were bad people and that being gay was a moral failing of sorts.

Throw in AIDS ("And see! Even God thinks you're evil!") and you have a lot of people who lash out.

The whole "Miss Thing" "Well smell her" and other attempts to insult gay men by calling them by female names and pronouns is one manifestation though the Eldergays are so Stockholm Syndromed they try defending it as good old fashioned humor. But clearly it's not and the intention is to say "You are gay so you are not a real man. You are less than a man, you are a woman."

Which is exactly what they were told back in the 70s and 80s

R67 Spot on

[quote]I must be a woman?

You are female. I leave it to you to say whether or not you must be.

I find it so pathetic that you are trying to make me confess to the UNSPEAKABLE CRIME of being a woman. No, I'm not. But what if I was? Well? What?

Most of us are raised to seek other people's approval. It starts with the parents, who push us to be obedient in order to receive the reward of their love. And if you don't get their love, you did something wrong, or you are wrong or damaged.

We are conditioned to chase after people's approval, because that is the only thing that matters. We repress our own needs in favor of making other people like us. We start to hate the things about us that make it more difficult to get other people's approval. And we hate ourselves for caring so much about what other people think or say about us. Self-criticism, self-hate, and self loathing become second nature to us.

[quote]a woman. No, I'm not.

I was giving you credit before for not lying about it, but now that you are lying, I have to withdraw the credit. Sorry.

R69 Not the poster you're volleying with, but let it, or her go mate. Woman, or "female" shouldn't really be a default dig or slur here. You're making it one by carrying on. One can make valid points or quite acceptable criticisms by using some adjectives preceding the word, which describe a particular sort of woman people don't find popular here, but woman on its own is quite painfully unevolved to me.

R72, I'm DEVASTATED!

Your the psychologist, OP. Gay,fat,old are effective insults.

[quote]Woman, or "female" shouldn't really be a default dig or slur here.

It's not. Is there anything else you are mistaken about you want to interject?

R76, go away already. You are Zemen-Whatsitsface, aren't you?

R75 "Your the psychologist"

Oh, dear

R76 When it's used repeatedly, like the poster is being interrogated; it's a cheap shot really. I'm sorry you feel differently, and seem to be oblivious to it.

😴 OP a.k.a. Rip Van Winkle

r79, her gender is a settled issue, so the only one keeping it going is you.

Many in their own minds fancy themselves as clever, and entertaining here when they're insulting others, yet in reality there was more wit here in the past, especially with some of the one-liners...I don't go for the witless "charm" of simply being a disagreeable cunt. LOOKING AT YOU R81!

Posters like you are the first to insult, but cannot even take some honest criticism when YOU'RE NOT BEING INSULTED... typical bully mentality. Suck it up buttercup, you've got a bit dripping down your chin there...

Fact. The vilest cunts here always use 'but we're witty!' as their first line of defence. No, you're not. Never been, never will be.

[quote]Posters like you are the first to insult, but cannot even take some honest criticism when YOU'RE NOT BEING INSULTED... typical bully mentality.

This is exactly what I wanted to say about you, r82. Thank you, seriously, for helping me find the words to describe you.

R84 I'm actually very mild mannered here... actually what you would call sensitive really. I only attack when provoked, and when calling out misogynists, racists, conservatives, and bullies. Whatever I've dished out here, the you and the other cunts have deserved.

You can check my posting history, as O don't come here to be an arse and a cunt. I try to be respectful beyond what is generally warranted here.

^I don't come here to be. My first comment on the woman shite is @ R66... Quite reasonable, and ought not to provoke any of you.

OP Oh fuck off you fat frau. This thread stinks of gay hating sad ladies.

[quote]I only attack

It's good, r85, that you recognize that you are doing that. Now you can work on stopping doing that.

If you can dish it out, but you can't take it, DL isn't the place for you. Throw shade and don't get mad when someone is shading you. Being told to die in a grease fire isn't the end of the world. DL is supposed to be fun, not some war zone.

And, don't feed the trolls.

I’ve been wondering the same thing OP.

I

SMELL

CUNT!

R88 You remind me of the people who argue Ukraine shouldn't defend herself either, and everyone else except the aggressor is the real problem. You can't even be reasonable here, without resorting to cherrypicking and editing my remarks to make your point.

Better yet, why don't you provide a specific example of me doing the bullying? Some people deserve to be put in their place as it were, and you've placed yourself amongst them. Now try to make us laugh a bit, rather than insisting on being in the witless charm camp:

[quote]Better yet, why don't you provide a specific example of me doing the bullying?

I accepted your explicit admission that you attack people, r92.

You called?

R93 Sending you a virtual hug and a gentle shoulder rub, you wounded little thing. If you were here in person, I'd offer a valium, a toke, or a martini as well. Shalom

I've just come from the Alexander Skarsgård thread where some deranged troll heaped abuse and insults on Jack McBrayer calling him too "ugly" to be anywhere in proximity of Mr Skarsgård. They actually believe what they perceive as "hot" people should only be around each other and attacked me when I asked if they've been out in the real world lately and seen some real, genuine non-superficial couples and friendships.

I think this extent of superficiality is exclusively American and doesn't exist in any other culture.

No R96

It's yet another odd facet of DL where unattractive men make themselves feel better by pointing out minor flaws in the physiques or facial features of very handsome men.

It's why 80% or so of the comments on any given Instaho thread are along the lines of:

"His left nipple is bigger than his right. Pass!"

"Those eyebrows are too thick. He looks Neaderthal"

Etc., and so forth.

You don't need to be Freud to figure out that those comments stem from "I will reject him before he (hypothetically) rejects me" and that the DLers in question act this way in real life too.

R96 Agreed, and IRL, I've found those sentiments more pervasive in places on the West coast... Orange County, LA, but jot so much Northern California. I think gay men tend to be pickier here more than others about looks, and who they deem ugly. It's most certainly overused.

r95, you having indicated that you were only trolling and making stuff up was sufficient.

R99 No, sincerely trying to de-escalate, and my peace offerings, (though virtual) were plentiful. Why is a post defending woman, and championing those speaking out against misogyny considered bullying? I'm not the aggressor here, It ratcheted up quite a bit before I unleashed a snarky one-liner... hardly anything hideous according to the standards here, or lack thereof.

My observations here of the prevalence of "You must be a woman" retort, or the repeated interrogation were denied, and I politely responded that I'm sorry you feel that way, and oblivious to it here... nothing needed to ensue from those statements, but again I don't come here to he nasty to people. If I do put someone in their place, after enough provocation, I try to be funny or witty.

And whatever AM I making up? I've had that "You must he a woman" remark thrown at me a gazillion times here. It's stupid.

^oops, defending WOMEN

r100, you're backtracking already? You're not going to do better if you only keep making excuses for yourself.

R102 I already explained, and offered you a "Shalom" Over and out mate.

r103, I already said that you having indicated that you were only trolling and making stuff up was sufficient.

I've also noticed the "gay is evil" and people accusing everyone they don't like of being gay. It's hypocritical. Anyone who does that obviously thinks they're inferior themselves and assumes that because they share a trait with others i.e. their sexual orientation then everyone else with that same trait must be exactly like them in every other way as well. Their way of putting down someone is calling them whatever they themselves are (gay). Sad.

^ Which leads us back to the OP's question: "Why so much self-hate on Datalounge"?

My guess is that these are mostly baby boomers who were raised to hate themselves growing up with 1950s values. This inferiority complex can be seen in their elevation of straight, white, often homophobic, men as their ideal. It manifested in the noughties when they were the main drivers and consumers of gay porn due to having more disposable cash than younger gay men. This was when the "gay-for-pay" scourge was dominating.

Say what you want about millennials and, especially, zoomers, but they almost never entertain the notion that they're inferior due to their sexuality.

R106 you're probably right. I even think the rampant musogyny happens because gays were thought of as 'effeminate'.

r107

100% R107

It is "I may be less than a man, but at least I am not a woman!" writ large

I mean there's a reason there are thousands of posts on here about "fraus" which all take the same tone "See!! I may not be a real man, but at last I am not as bad as these women!"

r106 you just sound really young.

this thread STILL reeks of heinous cunt

Heinous ghastly cunt trash R111

The DL Trifecta

Why so much nostalgia music threads??

R112 rotting stinkfish!

Let Datalounge be GAY again....these fraus can all fuck off back to LiveJournal, Tumblr or LSA

Okay, maybe not just SELF-hate then...

R114 wow. Just wow.

How do you know these people spewing hatred (I won't say self hatred) are even gay men?

Sounds like frat Bros trolling most of the time.

I spew hatred against my own personal dislikes::rich vampires who bleed the rest of society of money and power while lording over and pretending to be superior to those people whose actual labor supports them.

And I'm pretty damned unrepentant about that.

[quote]How do you know these people spewing hatred (I won't say self hatred) are even gay men?

That is another thing I love about Datalounge. The call is NEVER coming from inside the house. It's always iVillage or Free Republic or Stormfront or the Obamabots or the Soap People or Justin or EDB or the visitors from Entertainment Weekly or some other mysterious outside force that decided to descend upon the hallowed threads of DL. It's never Dataloungers. We're perfect here. We're not homophobic. We're not racist. We don't hate women. It's all those OTHERS. They come here and wait for primetime to be over to post their bile. It's ain't us.

Dataloungers wouldn't hurt a fly.

There's self-hate (and racism, misogyny, transphobia, elitism, etc) but most of this site is just made up of trolls, homophobic straight people, lonely old queens, bots, mentally ill who make the same threads over and over, etc. The actual gay and lesbian DLers who want to have discussions and have a sense of humor seem more and more rare.

Anyone can find this site and old design and anonymity make it appealing for fuckery and trolling. How many threads have been just one crazy person talking to themselves or two trolls trying to out-troll each other?

R117, as someone who has been on the internet since it was available to the public, there's a few sayings:

. There are no women on the internet, silly! . We are all dogs on the internet.

Don't forget know-it-all armchair psychologists/mind-readers like r118!

Oh look, another thread complaining about Datalounge, a site created for gay men and filled with gay men for years. Another thread filled by fraus who have come into our online home and decided they don't like the furniture, or anything else about the place, and sit loudly and complain about it.

We never tire of that energy

Because a lot of the posters are actually fraus and transes.

Then they should hire Mediapolis to build them their own board.

I am free to express my hatred toward good looking gay men. As an ugly gay man I have THE RIGHT and will continue to do so here!

Then the gay men who post at this site - a site for them - are free to continue to call out the smell of your stinking cunt.

THE END

Not this thread again.

Many annoying posters here using classic DARVO techniques. Then they carry on relentlessly here.

You seem to be under the impression that gays have feelings, and we don't, you rancid cunt.

Listen to Alok talks about love. It is soul healing.

Everyone logically hates fat and old people. It's in human dna. Ain't no changing biology, bitches.

Problems? It must be the women and trans. Never would DL gays cause any problems! Never! We are perfect.

[quote]Everyone logically hates fat and old people. It's in human dna. Ain't no changing biology, bitches.

Again, American conditioning. Intergenerational friendships are not uncommon here in Europe.

The only homophobia is internalized, when obviously gay men are living their lives in the closet. Lucky for them I’m here to expose these FAAAAGS for what they are!

OP does not understand self-deprecating humor. He/she/it/xem/xir is another humorless twat only fit to serve drinks to "their" betters.

Trust me, R134, I and everybody else are perfectly capable of making the difference between self-deprecating humour and pathetic, bitter, self-loathing, LGBT-hating remarks, the likes of which you so aptly demonstrated yet again.

Touché OP... R134's classist remarks re: you're only fit to serve him reveals him not only as another witless poster, but also a gormless twat who missed the mark here. He had a perfect opportunity to inject a bit of self-deprecating humour here about himself. He simply comes off as another prickly funt IMHO. And in 3, 2, 1, cue the crazy DARVO techniques....

^ prickly cunt

R135 you write in the style of what a dumb person thinks a smart person sounds like.

Breeders do not know how to throw shade.

Female breeders think it just means hurling insults, and male breeders think it means making threats.

Stinking, rotting, oozing CUNTS BE GONE

Stinking, rotting, oozing CUNTS BE GONE

Stinking, rotting, oozing CUNTS BE GONE

Stinking, rotting, oozing CUNTS BE GONE

Stinking, rotting, oozing CUNTS BE GONE

^DARKMINGELORD, time to take your meds.

[quote] internalised

Morning guv! Bob’s yer uncle!

The self-haters are just exposing how old they are. Thankfully soon the world will be free of these geriatrics who did nothing to progress the gay movement.