Will you be going to see Alexander’s hot body in “The Northman”?

Alexander is looking great.

He's always seemed like he'd be a lot of fun on a date and in the sack.

Sounds like a Hamlet ripoff. I saw something this morning about White Supremacists latching onto this movie. I didn't get a chance to read the article, it is in my queue to read later.

Nazis have always loved the Vikings.

[quote] Sounds like a Hamlet ripoff.

Admittedly so. It’s based on Hamlet.

I loved Robert Eggers' previous film, The Lighthouse, and this has a solid cast, so, yeah, I'm going this weekend and I hope its good.

It is fun and weird - not as weird as The Lighthouse was, more familiar in that it's based on the story that inspired Hamlet so you can see where the story's going from the start. But Robert Eggers crams in all kinds of weirdness where he can. I liked it but I foresee it still being too weird for mainstream audiences, who seem to only want Marvel slop slopped down their slop-holes anymore

I thought he was going to be nude in this movie. Parents Guide doesn't say so on IMDB. I'll pass.

Norseman!

There's a naked fight in the end but they're CGI schlongs.

That photo at OP does not seem to be of Skarsgard, although whoever it is of sure has a great body.

Nope, this fall far below my threshold for seeing a movie at the theater during a pandemic. If it hits a streaming service I subscribe to I may watch, but it'll be for Dafoe and Kidman's acting, not to ogle AS.

R10 it’s him, you blind bat

He sure looks different if it is.

Nah. His ugly face ruins it, and his lanky body looks weird with chemically enhanced muscles.

Alexander, CGI dicks, and Björk? I'm in.

Anna Taylor-Joy's accent sounds ridiculous in this, like she trained at the Jared Leto school of voice acting.

Cannot stand Anya Taylor Joy. Talk about someone who’s bought into her own hype. No one loves her more than her. And she looks like a praying mantis wearing a wig.

She does look like a praying mantis wearing a wig but that's why I love her! She's a total freak. Her eyes are insane. She's got a face I'll never get tired of gawking at. That is a movie star face.

All I can think of when I see Anya Taylor-Joy is the Geico gecko.

No, too much heterosexual drama. Like the entire premise of the film depending on him being straight

“Historical accuracy” was Eggers’s excuse for an all-white cast

[quote] Sounds like a Hamlet ripoff.

[quote] Admittedly so. It’s based on Hamlet.

Supposedly, it's the other way round.

[quote] Very loosely based on the story of Amleth, which appears in the Gesta Danorum (History of the Danes) written circa 1200 by Saxo Grammaticus - but based on earlier oral traditions. Amleth inspired Shakespeare's Hamlet, though it is doubtful that Shakespeare read Grammaticus directly.

R22 sure , because, as we all know, Scandinavia circa 900 AD was just teeming with blacks, Asians, and Latinos.

I saw it yesterday and enjoyed it. There is not a single boring moment in it.

Not sure it will make back its budget of $90 million -- it is not for everyone. It has plenty of violence and gore. This is not a date movie or a family movie. I guess you could say it's an action adventure movie, but not for the superhero loving crowd. The language is archaic in a way you would expect in a Robert Eggers film; because of this, there were times when I was confused about what was going on in the plot.

Eggers does not pander or dumb it down for anyone. This movie is very unapologetic about being thoroughly and completely what it is -- violent tribal warfare and Norse mythology.

As a previous poster mentioned, white supremacists love the vikings. But I don't think this movie would appeal to white supremacists; they are not smart or educated enough to get it.

Last comment: Alexander looks great in this movie, but he is usually covered in dirt, flesh wounds, and blood. There is only one moment when he looks sexy. I saw zero schlongs, CGI or otherwise.

[quote]There is only one moment when he looks sexy

The scene after sex where him and ATJ are laying naked beside each other in the moonlight right? He looks SO FINE right there, and we were so close to seeing his dick. I wish she would have stood and given us a show.

R26, yes, that is the scene. Both of them look like romantic ideals in that scene.

I thought it was good, but the mysticism parts were a little too weird. The film is visually stunning, unapologetically violent and totally committed to the history of the time period it covers. No way does it make back its budget.

Alexander looked great in this, but I found myself really hot and bothered by Claes Bang, who played the wicked uncle. There is a great shot of him naked from behind with his glorious ass on full display. I wanted more.

Does Timothee play the Northman?

I liked the sexy cousin

R24 excuse me, there are plenty of folx tales of brave African seafaring warrior in Scandinavia then. There were also many Asian traders. Many of them have fluid sensuality, so they are proto Trans women of colors.

I saw this at an early showing and really loved it. The opening shot sold me. I haven't always been a Skarsgard fan, but his performance here and in the last season of Succession has really won me over. I thought Kidman was going to ruin it with another one of her attempts at an accent, but she was great in the third act. The violence was about what you would expect for a Viking tale, but I didn't find it at all gory.

The young kid who plays Hamleth as a boy was terrifically hysterical. I liked the actor who played the uncle's first son, as well. And that whole scene with Stellan and Dafoe was wonderfully creepy.

I really want to see this! His body looks amazing, but I've never really found him hot. I usually like Anya Taylor-Joy, though I feel like she's become way too skinny lately.

Hmm he’s mighty fahne!

r29 Claes Bang showed off his rather attractive arse in Dracula. Hmm, very bitey.

R36 he is hot as fuck, but unfortunately has very tiny meat (probably a grower, but I expected it to be bigger).

I didn't realize it was Ethan Hawke rooting around like a dog until later.

Aren't steroids great?!

Northman? Is this a movie spun out from True Blood?

I expected better.

Still, it’s alright.

Hated the ending.

Just got back from seeing it. I did enjoy it, but the trailer did kind of misrepresent the movie. The plot is there, but the movie is kind of bonkers. Like Excalibur from the 70's with the strangeness X 10.

My theater was quite full kind of surprised me, but then didn't, and I would bet most people (including myself) was not expecting that kind of movie.

Saw it two nights ago. Visually stunning, well acted, extremely violent. The director has a clear vision and he realized it. Not for the stupid or unengaged viewer. I predict it will be a bomb because the movie going public are morons.

The Northman is an EXPERIENCE, as was The Lighthouse. Not enjoyable all the time, but it will change you while you watch it and will leave you with much to think about after it ends. .

Looks like the Northman bombed at the box-office. The movie only made $12 million on its opening weekend and only made $41m globally after its international release two weeks ago. The movie had a budget of $90m, marketing and distribution not included.

I feel sorry for Alex. He doesn't seem to have much look as a leading man. Is the Northman too violent? Gladiator and Braveheart were also violent movies and still very successful.

If the studios were not in such a hurry to put movies on streaming, I think this movie could have cracked $100 million based on steady word of mouth over time. But I suspect The Northman will be available on streaming in about a month from now.

I found Nichole Kidman’s presence in the film somewhat distracting. I kept waiting for her face to move.

[quote]Historical accuracy” was Eggers’s excuse for an all-white cast

There is nothing wrong with being a white European. Not every story has to include people of color just for the sake of pandering. Tokenism is racist.

The media has punished the movie for not opting to have a kick-ass black warrior queen. That's why it's not doing well: because it's being deprived of buzz for the cardinal sin of not being diverse (i.e. black) enough.

Gladiator and Braveheart were big event movies from major studios with enormous marketing. They also were beautiful to look at and had huge stars.

Northman is a specialty feature and will never recoup its cost… it will do about $50-60 worldwide. Focus should not have spent so much money on it.

I'm a massive Robert Eggers fan and I saw this movie the second I could but I couldn't believe it when Is aw they spent 90 million on it -- it was always way too weird for that kind of money. I think the money's on the screen though and this movie will have a very very long shelf life, but whoever greenlit that budget should probably have their brain checked

R48 injecting black people into this story would have cheapened it and been utterly ridiculous. Anyone who thinks that is a good idea should be put in a psych ward. It's the equivalent of casting Nicole Kidman in a period historical drama about the Sandawe people.

Laverne Cox instead of Nicole Kidman as Queen Gunhild

Finally got to see this weekend. I liked it more than The Witch but not as much as The Lighthouse. It's visually dazzling, with glorious cinematography, special effects, and I thoroughly appreciate the historical accuracy (both in the casting and the production/costume design). But the narrative was all plot for the first two thirds, with little in the way of character development. Then, thanks to a fantastic monologue by a terrific Kidman, the movie becomes emotionally engaging in the third act, then bumbles it by going through with an unnecessary climax.

And I don't know that the brutal violence was needed: the movie could've curbed that, retained everything else, gotten a PG-13 rating, and maybe performed better at the box office.

R51 This is why Bridgerton is so ridiculous and I refuse to watch it. I watched Anatomy of a Scandal on Netflix last week and I was surprised the leads were all white and even the friends and employees were mostly white (besides one paralegal). At first I was really confused the show did not include any gay or trans characters, black friends or a biracial couple they now have in every show. Of course later we find out that the prosecutor's best friend has a black husband. Diversity is great, but I don't need it on every show or in movies/series that cover a specific time period.

Those shirtless muddy Viking male extras were hot as fuck.

Are all the guys wearing body suits like the did in the movie 300?

This was incredible.

I agree that giving Eggers all that money to make a movie was a bad investment from a financial perspective (I thought this before it even filmed), but, artistically, what a gift we as an audience received. I was moved. Surprisingly so, as I don't think of myself as his audience, or the subject matter's.

I loved "The Witch": Ralph Ineson, who played the father, was amazing. He's in "The Northman" too, but I haven't seen it yet.

The lack of diversity and inclusion in The Northman is problematic.

[quote]sure , because, as we all know, Scandinavia circa 900 AD was just teeming with blacks, Asians, and Latinos.

That's actually not a problem in modern Hollywood. They don't care anymore, they'll insert POC into stories where their presence is ridiculous and anachronistic but that's what's happening now.

Amazing film. The (CGI) penis bit was way overhyped, though. It's a dark volcano pit (like something right out of Star Wars) and the guys' bodies are mostly hidden in shadows and darkness. I loved the theater stage sort of feel of some scenes. Like the rites of passage ritual at the beginning with young Amleth and his father.

According to IMDB trivia:

[quote] In the scene with Heimir The Fool, played by Willem Dafoe, jested to Queen Gudrún during King Aurvandil returning ceremony the comically large phallus shown was in fact the actor Defoes' true anatomy. Eggers, the director, decided to preserve the authenticity of the scene by keeping it in, assuming that no one would believe it to be authentic.

If true, that's got to be the most weirdly shaped penis ever.

[Quote]That's actually not a problem in modern Hollywood. They don't care anymore, they'll insert POC into stories where their presence is ridiculous and anachronistic but that's what's happening now.

Aka Bridgerton on Netflix. We all know hot black dudes were living their best life during that time period.

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It's a really silly movie. They were trying for something epic but it just came off as ridiculous and mannered. The only reason to se it would be all the shots of Alexander Skarsgard's ripped sweaty torso.

I couldn't understand why Nicole Kidman had a different accent from everyone else.

It's very campy. The audience I saw it with cracked up when Amleth's little half-brother Gunnar leapt up on his back and started stabbing him with his tiny little blade, and then when Skarsgard threw him off and killed him with his big blade everyone applauded. Of course since this is Robert Eggers there had to be a ridiculous scene where Ethan Hawke showed he was an animal by belching loudly before Willem Dafoe, and then his son the child Amleth had to fart loudly (Eggers seems to have a farting fixation).

I would say each of Eggers's big screen releases has been a step down in quality each time. This was worse than THE LIGHTHOUSE, and THE LIGHTHOUSE was a huge step down from THE WITCH, which was brilliant.

Hated, hated, hated The Witch. Loved, loved, loved The Lighthouse. Meh, meh, meh The Northman.

[quote] I couldn't understand why Nicole Kidman had a different accent from everyone else.

She was a slave originally (just like Olga) and the King used her first as his fucktoy (like Fjölnir attempts to do with Olga) and then took her as his bride after she gave birth to Amleth. She reveals her slave branding to Amleth when he confronts her in her chamber.

The reviews were certainly not good. The ones that count, in any event.

Who are "the ones that count" exactly? The movie has an 89% rating on Rotten Tomatoes with positive reviews from Vox, TIME, Chicago Sun-Times, the Boston Globe, the BBC, New York mag, Slate, the Wall Street Journal, the Atlantic, the New York Times, the Washington Post, the Chicago Tribune, the Los Angeles Times, the Observer, NPR, Deadline, Entertainment Weekly, Empire, the Irish Times, RobertEbert.com, TimeOut, The Wrap, The Times,, the Telegraph, the Hollywood Reporter, IndieWire, The Playlist, and the Guardian... I suppose it did get a bad review in The New Yorker and Variety so there's that!

I know some filmmakers are eccentric (or insane?) but why would you make a movie where half the dialogue is unintelligible thanks to a lot of bizarre names and words most of us have never heard? I am glad I watched at home so could put subtitles on.

It's a shame that for all the effort that was put into this there was so little pay-off. I saw this a few weeks ago and it hasn't stayed with me at all.

This needed peen.

[quote] If the studios were not in such a hurry to put movies on streaming, I think this movie could have cracked $100 million based on steady word of mouth over time.

Wow. I don't think you could be more wrong. Like someone said above, it is a specialty movie and not a popcorn movie. It's a story that's been done to death with some weird and baffling mystical/supernatural elements randomly thrown in.

ALso, it got a "B" Cinemascore which might as well be an F

It is so bizarre how some people obsess over how much a movie cost to make and fret over its box office. I cannot think of why anyone besides the producers would care about that.

[quote]Nazis have always loved the Vikings.

So what? Hitler loved dogs too. Are we supposed to hate the dogs cause Hitler loved them or what was in your little head?

The Northperson is now streaming on Peacock.

Liked it a lot, but should have filmed in Iceland. It looked like typical dank Ireland.