Pregnant woman to husband, âYou are taking care of me. I wish you would see someone and get help for yourself.
Audience: HEâS SICK! MEDICAL CRISIS COMING!
The man whose wife is about to give birth: âI have such headaches lately.â
Audience: BRAIN TUMOR!
âMakes it difficult to seeâ
BRAIN TUMOR!
Pregnant wife: âHow can you drive a train if you canât see?
Audience; TRAIN! BRAIN TUMOR!
Crow lands on porch and Sister Monica chases it away.
Audience: TRAIN ACCIDENT COMING!
Dr Turner, after attendance at conference with Sister Julienne and Irish Chipmunk: âHere are our train seats. Oh Iâm so glad I didnât drive my car. Train is much better.â
Audience: HOW LONG WILL THEY DRAW OUT THIS LEAD-UP TO TRAIN ACCIDENT?
âCall the Midwifeâ writers and producers: âOh weâre going to draw this out for the last half of the show, at least. â
Audience: OHHH, RIIIIGGHT, THEY HAVE TO GET THE TRAIN TO POPLAR SO FRED, VIOLET AND REGGIE WILL GET THEIR WEEKLY ALLOTTED SCREEN TIME. GOD KNOWS, WE DONâT SEE ENOUGH OF THEM.
Old Cockney Woman: âAllo sister! Allo, doctor. You remember me? Iâm big and strong anâ a true salt oâ the bloody earth type. âAtâs roit . âAd a load-a big fat bye-bees back inna day. Strong as an ox, I amâŠ.and ever so grite-ful to yuz. Oy represent Poplarâs past of sturdy, working poor muvvers who got along wiff nuthin. Them wuz the dyes, eh?â
Audience: HOORAY! SHEâS A GONER, MEANING SISTER JULIENNE WONâT DIE!
Brain tumor train conductor husband of pregnant lady sways at the controls.
Audience: HOORAY! HEâS BITING THE BIG ONE TOO, MEANING DR TURNER WONâT DIE EITHER
Call the Midwife producers release memo to tabloids: âTwo beloved characters from Call the Midwife are lost in this weekâs tragic episode. Will Poplar survive? Will Sister Monica finally cork it and fly off with the crow?
YOUNG SISTER FAT-FACED WIDE EYED NUN: Iâm young! Iâve lately been feeling Iâm missing out on so much by just swooping in, delivering babies, then heading back to the convent for the Great Silence. I especially feel this way when Iâm around other young people. Iâm needed! I think Iâm going to work with troubled, rat-faced, ignorant low class babu-factory teens who have no support. Iâm going to become a social worker and sex educator, recommending birth control and referring young girls for abortions. Iâm leaving the convent! My future lies in NHS as a specialist in human sexuality. Iâm ready for the showâs annual cast change!