Morbidly Obese Bear Has Broken into 28 Homes in Lake Tahoe

200 lbs is svelte for the bears I know.

Fat whore!

Please stop with these cruel jokes. I have not broken into 28 homes. It was just 23, and I was looking to put on some weight for my hibernation period, which was right after Friends: The Reunion, in May of 2021, to my shaggy appearance in The U.S. Sun, February 11th, 2022. I can't help it. I like leftover pizza and porridge. I am fine and send my love.

His name is Brad Kalvo

Sadly, they are going to kill the poor fellow.

When wild animals like that no longer fear humans, they usually kill them.

He may get some sort of reprieve as long as he doesn't actually attack a person. But, game over if he attacks a person while on one of his foraging expeditions.

Apparently, the Tahoe Keys neighborhood HOA (where Hank has been hanging out a lot) prohibits residents to have Bear Boxes -- animal-resistant garbage-can enclosures -- because they are "unsightly". Idiots.

The Gayle Grinds of the animal kingdom!

Ugh I wish they could relocate him to a sanctuary. Poor guy. It’s not his fault and I feel so sad for animals in this situation. Poor guy.

Can someone post his picture alongside a recent one of Lens Dunham

TIA

Is the plan to kill him? That's so unnecessary. Surely something else can be done to remedy this situation. Killing him would be so cruel.

[quote]That's so unnecessary

Sadly R11, it is necessary. This is a 200 pound wild animal that now associates food with trash cans.

It won't take long for a person to try to get between Hank and their trashcan, and Hank will win, because he doesn't give a shit.

Another DL icon is born!

OP- This is a GREAT BIG FAT BEAR not a great big fat person.

There was an episode of the Munster's when Herman is on a diet and he's strapped down in the dungeon so he's not tempted to fall off of his diet on Thanksgiving. He breaks out of the straps and goes out of the house down the street to a family having their Thanksgiving meal , sits down at the table and demands - PASS THE CRANBERRY SAUCE- he was a GREAT BIG FAT FRANKENSTEIN'S MONSTER

This must be the BEAR KING we keep hearing so much about.

Godzilla v. Kong, as is its wont, provides solutions to all of life's conundrums.

Lure him to a net with the strength to hold several hundred pounds. Catch him, her or whatever its preferred pronoun.

Three or four helicopters should do the trick to haul it deep into the Land of Heavy Set Bears.

He’ll make one hell of a rug.

I had to do a second glance. First glance registered Kirstie Alley.

R9 & R11: A few sanctuaries have offered to take Hank when captured. The California Dept of Fish & Wildlife is still evaluating. Here's a part of their most recent statement (from link):

[quote]“While the Lake Tahoe area has a healthy and dense bear population, euthanizing an animal is always our last option. CDFW is currently evaluating the possibility of placement of this bear when captured. As detailed in our recently updated Black Bear Policy in California, there are several requirements that must be met to consider placement of a wild adult black bear.”

[quote]“Placement of adult black bears can have significant negative consequences on their mental health and must be considered when evaluating placement options. To quote from our Black Bear Policy: ‘Adult bears may be poor candidates for placement due to the chronic stress of adjusting to captivity after living in only wild conditions.’ To be considered, placement facilities must be accredited, have necessary state and federal permits to receive animals, and meet CDFW’s standards for quality of facilities. At the time of this post, CDFW has not identified a placement option for this bear that meets the criteria of the Black Bear Policy.”

Does Hangry Hank come with a big dwong

link:

Damn, I hope they don't kill him. What an awful, awful thing to do, to end an animal's life just because he's, through no fault of his own, come to associate humans with a food source. It's us humans who are encroaching on his territory.

What's in his snack purse?

[quote} it is necessary.

Can't the tranquilize him and take him to another location? Better to do that than just kill the poor animal who is just being a bear.

Please, please, don't let him be . . . . .

Too late.

Weight Watchers could use this bear as a spokesbear. Fergie and Oprah are too high brow.

Have they tried hiding his CPAP machine? If he doesn't get a good night's rest then he'll be too tired to forage in the morning.

In case you're curious he's on Growlr and Grommr as TahoeTank, and he identifies as a super chub, gainer and encourager.

Ok bitches. Who's had him?

"There goes my hero..."

already a thread

[quote]It's us humans who are encroaching on his territory.

The bear should be left alone. It's HIS home that's been invaded by humans. THEY should be shot/moved.

They like bears a lot in China, they would pay $$$$ for a big bear.

If there’s not a facility that meets their Black Bear policies, then one of those activist celebrities should erect one or bring a sub-standard one up to code and then pay for Hank’s transfer.

Angus T. Jones really let himself go, didn’t he?

This reporting is incredibly bigoted. This gentle bear of size & color was simply seeking delicious reparations from the colonizers that stole the land this bear's proud ancestors called "home".

Don’t mess with a hungry fat bear. He’ll twerk until you throw food at him.

He really is magnificent…

He is 500 lbs not 200.

Has Nikocado Avocado been accounted for?

Just some Restorative Justice program will cure his recidivism. He's a good bear and planned to enroll in college in the fall.

Fatt LeBlanc must be breathing a sigh of relief.

My brother is a long time resident of Lake Tahoe. He says that many if not most locals are outraged at the proposal to kill Hank and are advocating for his capture and relocation. If the authorities do kill him, things will get ugly. There are many many bears in the area who break into houses, raid garbage cans, etc. Hank is just particularly adept. My brother had to lock his freezer which was kept in his garage, because the bears figured out how to break in and would open the freezer to eat the ice cream. This, after raiding the pantry where large jars of Costco peanut butter were stored. They are a nuisance but they were there first.

[quote] The bear should be left alone. It's HIS home that's been invaded by humans. THEY should be shot/moved.

Black bears aren't native to Southern California. 27 black bears were captured in the Yosemite area and released into the San Gabriel and San Bernardino mountains in 1933 (by the California Fish And Game Service). Grizzlies were in the region for thousands of years but in the 1800s began to be a menace to farmers. The last grizzly in the region was killed in SoCal in 1908.

I'm not sure why the black bears were introduced, but they sometimes have invaded yards and even attacked humans, occasionally, in places like the greater Pasadena area.

How do you trap a gay bear?

With cheesecake and a Golden Girls marathon.

R43. Yes, it's great to not want the bear killed. Then residents have two choices. One is that they accept the damages that Hank does, stop filing police reports and learn bear management skills so that residents will be able to remove the bear from their premises without the need of costly law enforcement involvement (F&G are a branch of LE).

The second choice is for the local town/jurisdiction to file a levy on all residents to pay for the construction of a proper sanctuary for Hank, as there is no local sanctuary that can accept a 500 lb bear.

See how easy it would be for Tahoe residents to save this bear? Oh, but they will have to sacrifice their property and pay for this.

Hank will be killed due to the locals not caring enough to pay for his rescue.

Let's all pray that Hank won't be killed. Poor guy.

That’s some good blubber.

Why not get those nice Trump boys to shoot Hank dead?

Was he a big fat animal?

Yes sir, he wuz a big bear.

Looks who's on the California state flag. Hank's a State Treasure who deserves relocation.

It's 500 lbs not 200 lbs.

Everyone who wants to save the bear , i volunteer you to be the committee that catches him. First you smear yourself with peanut butter grab a net and wah laaa

DL needs to set up a GoFundMe to save our new DL mascot, the BEAR KING.

Is this BEARKING NEWS?

R51:

BEARKING NEWS: A reprieve for Hank the Tank!

DNA evidence proves that at least two other (fat) bears committed some of the break-ins attributed to Hank. The article is in the Sacramento Bee (which DL won't allow me to link).

Bearking and Entering perpetrated by other bears!

How embearrassing for his accuser!

J'adore these fat whores.

That bear is undoubtedly suffering from anorexia nervosa!

It's more of a "Woot Woot, Motherfuckers! I'm a bear!" situation at this point and I condone it.

I also want free range American badgers on meth.