I Wish I Was Australian

That's a fairly low bar.

I know a girl who moved to Australia. She couldn't get used to walking around upside down and her head exploded. And then she died.

Oh, believe me, Aussie trash is as dumb and fucked up as any American.

What R3 said.

OP, have you ever really talked to any Australians?

You watch survivor? Op is a bogan!

I worked for an international company with Australian operations. They were whiny, passive-aggressive, constantly complaining and always ready to brawl.

Worst, they pronounce H as hay-ch. Fucking annoying as fuck.

What R3 said is true, but we do have a public school system which is, in most places, much better funded and overseen than the US public system. So the rate of complete idiocy per capita is probably less.

That said, reality TV is hardly the place where our public education is best displayed. There was a famous recent episode of another such show, where the himbo asked the bimbo whether she knew where his hometown was. She replied (and the video clip was all over TV for the next two weeks): "I...not really. I wasn't good at geometry."

OP meant to say "I Wish I Were An Australian."

Noooo they have poisonous spiders, tons ofsnakes that will kill you if the spiders dont , the heat of summer !??? Noooo

[quote] Worst, they pronounce H as hay-ch

How do you pronounce it?

Foreskin lovers paradise.

Beautiful beaches but I think I would find the culture alienating. Something about the place makes me uneasy. Then again so do many places in the U.S.

This thread sounds pointlessly trollish designed to elicit massive and pointless generalisations from people who spent a week there two decades ago.

Or perhaps they spent a week there face-down intoxicated while bedding other foreigners at the Sydney Mardi Gras*.

* It used to be the Sydney Gay Mardi Gras but commercialism and the hets have ousted the gays.

No, you don't, OP. Stop deluding your obese self.

Living in Oz would be fascinating for a month or two. Or three. Then you would realize that nothing ever changes. Today was exactly like yesterday. And tomorrow will be exactly like today. That Aussies are as racist and bigoted as everywhere else. That as a geo-politically irrelevant and isolated country, it's the second-most boring place on earth (EnZed tops that list). It might help to remember that in Oz, sports gets far more coverage, is far more important than national/international news. It might help to remember that Kylie and Guy and Nicole, Toni, Kodi, Ben and Simon all had to get out of Oz to be noticed, find fame and forture.

Living in Oz is like being bitten to death by ducks.

[quote] massive and pointless generalisations from people who spent a week there two decades ago.

Yes, see R15.

The grass is always greener, OP. Now go do a bong hit and chillax.

R16 Assume much?

Oh fantastic! Nothing like an Australia-bashing thread every couple of weeks!

At least DL notices Oz exists. Otherwise, it could fall off the end of the world, and no one would notice (or give a stuff).

Did you mean Austrian?

R20 considering that so many of the DL have never left their square state, their knowledge or otherwise of another country is neither here nor there.

I’ve been watching Australian Survivor too, and with all those gorgeous guys Australia is looking very compelling. If I had to leave the US it would be an interesting place to be, like a weird parallel universe. Living on the Gold Coast with Chris Hemsworth as a neighbor sounds nice.

[quote]I Wish I Was Australian

OP, your use of "was" makes your post mean "I Wish I Used-To-Be Australian" because "was" is past tense.

But if that's what you truly wish, that's an odd wish... but you do you.... or, you do what used-to-be you.... whatever.

What I love about Americans is the way they believe that because they speak English, no one else in the fucking world can read it as well. There are many Australians on this Forum. Many English people and Scots, Irish, Welsh, New Zealanders , Canadians, French , Europeans etc. Nearly 25% of Datalounge traffic is outside of US, but somehow it sounds as though you believe the only people who read the Forum must be American. It shows how fucking insular you are.

One of Australia’s finest, actor-singer Tim Draxl

My (straight, male) best friend spent 8 months working in Australia in 2011. He observed that the men were boors, the women were too masculine in manner (although he forgave this because he said they had to be that way to deal with the men) and that racism was a lot more widespread and seemingly socially acceptable, even in the big city where he was. The racism shocked him the most. The food and beaches were his favourite things.

It’s very easy to forget you’re upside down. Somehow, the clever bastards have made it appear that the sky is up and the ground is down, just like at home. I could never figure out how they did that.

Australia = The poor man’s America

We've heard all theses generalisations before.

I’ve saved this as a handy template for getting it all out there in the regular Datalounge anti-Australia troll posts. Hope that this helps!

All Australians are racists. Every single one of us. All the men are misogynists. All the women are loud and called Sheila. We are all completely homophobic. And gay. A bunch of chronic alcoholics. Setting foot out of our front doors is an exercise in risking death from our killer wildlife. We have no history. None! No accomplishments of note. No cities - we all live in the outback, killing kangaroos for dinner. Avoiding drop bears. Then throwing another shrimp on the barbie. Because the dingo ate our baby! We’re just a tiny little island, regularly on fire, upside down, down under, somewhere down in the Pacific. Or the Atlantic. Maybe the Indian Ocean? Some big ocean, anyway. Somewhere. But definitely full of man-eating sharks and crocodiles.

There's Australia, and then there's Sydney. You need to distinguish.

Like New York, it doesn't give a fuck about the rest of the country, or the rest of the world. Or DL, if it it was even on the radar or mattered.

Sydney gays are just as insufferable, know-it-all, hypersophisticated, and jaded as NY gays.

But if you don't have a body, they'll look right through you. Sydney is the most body fascist city on earth. 'No pecs=no sex' isn't a joke there: it's the law.

Oh, and there are only two topics of conversation in Sydney: real estate and property.

R6, "haych" is taught as part of the alphabet in Catholic schools in Australia, but not in the public school system. It is how you can tell someone went to a Catholic school (and probably not one of the really expensive ones).

Interesting place to visit but you don't want to live there. I have several friends from Australia and they couldn't wait to leave because of the stereotypes mentioned above.

I still think the men can be very cute...

R36, so then is the usual pronounciation the more typical ay-ch?

R31 seems to forget that all of Australia isn't Sydney. Or Melbourne. That while much of his diatribe is erroneously stereotypical ("Sheila"??? Seriously???), racism/bigotry and alcoholism remain an integral part of Oz culture. 6 o'clock closing may be an event of the past, but 4, 5 slabs and as many casks are still typical holiday fare. Oh, and believing that you WON'T be stopped by the coppers standing by the booze bus.

Great whites and crocs are also an integral part of Oz culture. Fuckwits still ignore the croc warning signs in Qld (and DON'T live to tell about it). Surfers on the back beachs of Melbourne and northern NSW still get attacked by sharks (some do live to tell about it).

About the only stereotype that was truly erroneous was Aussies killing kangaroos for dinner. Why bother when kangaroo steaks are sold at Coles New World ("they're eating Skippy!!!!!!").

[quote]"haych" is taught as part of the alphabet in Catholic schools in Australia, but not in the public school system.

Everyone over 30 says "haych", regardless of where they were educated.

Erratum R39 beaches

'A nation of convicts and buggers"..

Ahem….

Aussies, what is the most liberal area of Australia?

R44 Generalisations are pointless.

Generalisations Troll, please unwad your panties. If someone was to point out that the west coast of the USA is - generally - more liberal than rural Texas, their generalisation would not be entirely wrong. Australia's not too precious to escape the same kind of discussion.

R53 That unappealing Scotsman thinks he can make authoritative generalisations about Australia because he spent five weeks there in 1949.

[quote] Aussies, what is the most liberal area of Australia?

What does 'liberal' mean, R44?

Living in the USA would be fascinating for a month or two. Or three. Then you would realize that nothing ever changes. Today was exactly like yesterday. And tomorrow will be exactly like today. That Americans are as racist and bigoted as everywhere else. That as a geo-politically semi-relevant and semi-isolated country, it's the second-most boring place on earth (Canada tops that list). It might help to remember that in the USA, sports gets far more coverage, is far more important than national/international news. It might help to remember that George Clooney, Madonna, Johnny Depp, Jean Seberg and Grace Kelly all chose to get out of the place.

Living in USA is like living in a Civil War.

well, they easily take the bait!

I can understand the high incidence of skin cancer given the extreme thinness of Australian skin.

Given all of the shit that has happened and continues to happen in the US, like actually electing Trump as president, and the slow but steady path towards fascism (don’t believe it? Pay attention more), I find it hysterical that “my fellow Americans” are bashing another country!

I especially found the comments on how racist Australia is to be pretty fascinating, given what a racist shit show the United States is.

Then there are the threads about where is the best place to live or retire in the US and virtually every state and area of the country is bashed.

Yep, we Americans are surely in a position to trash other countries!

They are SO intelligent that they are letting their government lock them up over what is becoming the flu.

I'll pass. I think that now, I don't even want to go there on vacation.

The so-called "lock-down" measures mean only a small number of Australians have died.

Almost a million Americans are dead.

[quote] Living on the Gold Coast with Chris Hemsworth as a neighbor sounds nice.

No, he and his wife Iive at Byron Bay.

Kayne Lawton and his wife live on the Gold Coast.

USA-Lite

Horseshit, R40. I have many friends in their 50s-70s and all of them say "aych" except the ones who went to Catholic schools.

You are probably a young person who doesn't meet that many oldies and, very properly, doesn't ask them what school they went to.

R57 You're an assumptive ass. I'm none of the above. And everyone I know and speak to, from Freo to Maroubra, from Adelaide, Alice, Frankston and Wooloomooloo, regardless of age or education, says HAYCH.

"Coles New World"

LOL it's just Coles, It hasn't been called that since 1989.

R59 It went back to Coles in 1991. The Coles New World down the road from me didn't get around to changing the sign until '98, '99.

All I know about Coles I learned from Australian Masterchef.

What did we do r15?

(I mean, I get it - nothing - but still....)

R62 No New Zealander calls themselves 'Kiwi".

The country is breath-taking in its beauty, outstanding hiking. But so bloody boring, whether you're in Auckland or Hokitika.

r49 No, it's the humidity.

Noël Coward had mixed feelings about the place—

[quote] I come from a faraway land, On the other side of the world. Where no one’s master and no one’s slave; A land that’s primitive, crude and brave,

A koala f-farm...?

^ Koalas can be skinned to make rugs.

I hate that in Australia you are made to vote for 3 levels of Government. Local, State & Federal. If you don't have a good enough reason for not voting you are fined.

On top of that some nutters that want Australia to become a Republic want us to vote for a fucking President! We are over governed.

r63 are you fucked in the head? Born and bred 'kiwi' here and yes I fucking call myself a kiwi.

Are you retarded?

And yes the country is boring as shit.

Australia: the one English-speaking place on earth with urban wildlife scarier than Florida's.

They have the worst accent in the history of man. Anytime I hear their moronic accent I wanna slice their heads clear off w a machete.

r72, what's interesting is, Australians who move to America, and Americans who move to Australia, lose almost all trace of their original accent within ~10 years... but Britons who move to either one still sound unmistakably British after living elsewhere for 50 years (and if anything, become MORE deliberately-RP-posh over time).

I think it's because British accents are deliberately cultured, while American & Australian accents "just happen", so they're more prone to drift to match their environment.

The Australians actually like Vegemite? Need I say more? As to New Zealand, well, it is where the men are men and the sheep are nervous.

R51 made the smartest comment on the whole thread. And the most accurate.

[quote]Are you retarded?

R69 You certainly are, as a New Zealander calling yourself a "Kiwi".

[quote]I hate that in Australia you are made to vote for 3 levels of Government. Local, State & Federal. If you don't have a good enough reason for not voting you are fined.

Oz has compulsory voting because, given the choice, no one would vote. The fine for not voting $20 Australian hasn't changed in 40 years. And then there's preferential voting, where a voter can end up voting for a party they most certainly did NOT want to vote for. Or that for council elections, anyone who owns property in that council is allowed to vote, whether or not they live in that council, whether or not they are an Oz citizen.

[quote]They have the worst accent in the history of man

Aussie upspeak. As if they are so insecure, every sentence must be turned into a question begging validation. Women are the worst culprits to the point that after two minutes of listening, you want to clamp your hands over your ears and scream "STOP TALKING!!!!!!!".

[quote]You certainly are, as a New Zealander calling yourself a "Kiwi".

I'm still not getting this. What are you on about? Do you think Kiwi is a slur or something? lol.

It's what we call ourselves you dumb fuck.

Allowing anyone who owns property in a municipality to vote in municipal elections makes a certain amount of sense, because municipalities are basically a step up from a condo or homeowne's association.

Ideally, municipalities would be bicameral... one body elected by legal residents with one vote per person with jurisdiction over laws governing behavior, and one body elected by property owners (say, one vote per {n} thousand dollars paid in municipal taxes since the last election, with {n} doubling for every order of magnitude(*) that allocates funding & can veto legislation passed by the first with a 3/5, 2/3 or 3/4 supermajority.

Say:

* popular body passes law with simple majority: property body can veto with 60%, mayor can override if veto < 66%

* popular body passes law with 60%: property body can veto with 66%, mayor can override if veto < 75%.

* popular body passes law with 66%+: property body can veto with 75%+, but mayor can always override.

* The ratio of dollar-votes to popular votes is determined, and the property body gets to decide how the smaller percentage of tax dollars gets spent. Corporate property owners vote too, with ballots cast after vote of board of directors.

Americans love calling out other nations on their intolerance and bigotry when…well, never mind. Why state the obvious? I have been to Australia three times during my military career. Beautiful place to visit. But I am American. I prefer living here, warts and all. I like cars with the steering wheel on the left side.

They assume every white person shares their racist opinions and won't hold back from sharing their archaic view of the world.

R80? Sounds like where I live in Deplorable Haven, FL. As long as you're white, they assume you're a racist and a Trumpet.

I always thought the comparisons were that Sydney is like LA and Melbourne is closer to NYC.

Is that true?

[quote]I always thought the comparisons were that Sydney is like LA and Melbourne is closer to NYC.

Assuming you're talking about the gay boys/gay scene, Sydney could be compared to LA, I guess. But Melbourne is nothing at all like NYC. Melbourne has that definite small city vibe, which is def not NYC.

Australia hosted the summer Olympics around 20 years ago, and the gymnasts were all seemingly choking on the vault. It went on for quite a while, until one of the teenage gymnasts was finally able to convince the Australian officials that they had set it at the wrong height. I happened to be working with an Australian at the time and he was an idiot. I also remember the Crocodile Dundee era, when Australian tourists in NY were prone to saying “G-day mate!” over and over for no reason other than it was a way to elicit low-quality attention.

It’s weird how a few experiences can really color your attitudes. I tend to think of Australians as buffoons. I very much doubt that’s a fair assessment, but I can’t help it. I’m sure my opinion would change if I let more, or spent time there.

Too many poisonous things and even the ocean sounds dangerous.

[quote]It’s weird how a few experiences can really color your attitudes.

Not weird, just very telling of the person forming the attitudes. Holy fuck R84, you sound awful.

A younger relative was in the Navy and said US sailors can get laid easily and often marry Australian girls due to the girls finding Ameican guys nicer all around than Australian men. As mentioned above, chauvinistic and boorish for the most part.

The Murdochs are Australian. Their media & tabloids have done much damage in the U.S. & elsewhere.

[quote]The Murdochs are Australian. Their media & tabloids have done much damage in the U.S. & elsewhere.

The Trumps are American. Their politics, corruption, greed, and criminal activities have done much damage in the U.S. and elsewhere.

True R89 but the Murdochs started their shitstirring long before Trump and have abetted him and their media outlets have only gotten more fascist leaning.

[quote]but the Murdochs started their shitstirring long before Trump

Got it. So Australia sucks because the Murdochs are Australian, but the United States doesn’t suck even though the Trumps are American, basically because the Murdochs “started it”, like in a children’s playground.

You make a lot of assumptions and inferences plus you sound like you are pouting R91. No where did I say what you're implying.

Lots of foreskins for you to nibble on down there, OP.

I like Australian men all right, but only the smart ones. Idiots are the same and the majority in every culture. Australians are pretty insecure and anxious so I like making them laugh and relax. I'm American and had am Australian boyfriend for awhile. He was clever and good company but the stereotype of them being easy-going hasn't been confirmed by the ones I've known.

I wish I lived on bondi beach back in the 1980s and 1990s.. not only for the lifeguards, but the muscle hunks and bodybuilders in bikini's and thongs year round! oh yeah!...

I went to high school in Sydney (Cranbrook) and I loved living there. I was so sad when my parents announced we were moving to the US.

Funny r87, I recall a newsfrau interviewing DL pinup Brenton Thwaites talking about her preferences for Australian men. She found them to have more swagger than American men or something.

This is the interview IIRC…

You sound like a prissy dick, though, R86.

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Melbourne small town vibe? Nearly 5 million population? Really?

Bogans don't count.

Australia = Cockney Texas.

They have health care and gun control, but other than that, yuck. Their politicians have been slimier than even the American crew for a very long time. And they appear to be unable to conceive of doing anything socially that does not involve at least one person throwing up.

That said, a lot of talented actors, performers, pop musicians, etc.

[quote] And they appear to be unable to conceive of doing anything socially that does not involve at least one person throwing up.

Are you alluding to something in particular?

In comparison to New York City, most places have a small-town vibe, R101.

Even leaving aside the Financial District., Melbourne has a very small CBD in comparison with Midtown Manhattan, and then the suburbs start in surprisingly quickly. The concentration of apartment buildings and townhouses is nowhere near the same scale.

I have family in Australia and have visited for extended periods. I always feel like I'm being cheated at restaurants and stores. Even at places like museums, Australians make me feel uneasy..

R106 Have you discussed your mental 'uneasiness' with your family in Australia?

They may be sympathetic to your distress.

It is possible, R106, that you're finding prices higher because we pay actual salaries to our hospitality and shop workers. Thus we only tip when the service is really good, like when an executive gets a bonus.

[quote]Melbourne small town vibe? Nearly 5 million population? Really?

I actually said small city vibe, not small town vibe. It was in response to someone who was comparing Melbourne to NYC, which is completely inaccurate.

If Melbourne has the vibe of any larger city, it's London. Sydney and LA are definite sisters.

Yes, R108. Australia's system is so much more rational than the awful American system which relies on emotional blackmail and utter servility.

Oh, shit, they're going to stop talking about tipping.

And after that?

Their cunting shit-water coffee.

They’re Right-wing cunts.

R112 I thought that Australian coffee was supposed to be so good?

The coffee available in Australia is the result of generations of Italian, Greek, South American and Turkish migrants who brought THEIR coffees to the country, along with the taste for it. I've never heard it referred to as Australian coffee, it's just what you can get at any good cafe.

Here is a serious question. Is it possible to live in Australia and never see a Huntsman spider?

Stick your drink up your arse, Tania.

R116 No. They are even in the cities. I live a half a walk from the CBD of Sydney and we have had lots of Huntsman spiders lately. They don't bother me, they are harmless and the cats love hunting them down and tearing them apart so I always try to get them out of the house before the cats spot them.

Well good on ya mate!

I hired an Aussi many years ago as a warehouse manager. He always called the delivery trucks "utes". He was so well thought of by his American subordinates most of them started calling them utes too.

I’m Australian born, but also a U.S. citizen (almost 20 years between NYC / SF), moved back ‘home’ 3 years ago. If I compare the countries, rather than cities, I’d say Australia comes out on top. It’s one of the wealthiest countries in the world, the education system is excellent, free healthcare, infrastructure is generally new, geography is stunning, people are kind. On the American side, there certainly is more opportunity in a general sense (and if you’re smart/driven), geographic diversity and travel is easier. And to the huntsman point, you do see them pretty regularly. They’re harmless, but I remove them from The house as they can move quick which freaks me out.

And do people live in fear of Sydney Funnel Web Spiders? Do people see them often?

The problem with Australia is it is in the middle of nowhere. If you want to leave Australia be prepared for a long flight to get somewhere else, you are isolated.

No. But I'm speaking as someone that lives a half hour walk from the CBD. They are in the suburbs so I think people are aware of and wary of them but they are not a major concern.

Anyway, hospitals are equipped to deal with any bites quickly and effectively. I can't remember the last time I heard of anybody dying from a funnel web spider bite. Like I'm talking years and years ago.

Nobody has died from a funnelweb bite since anti-venenes started in 1981. The deadly species is confined to Sydney, which is full of good hospitals, so nothing to fear even in a worst-case scenario. (And you certainly won't find them in your 4-star city hotel.) The other poisonous spiders might kill a child if not quickly attended to, but would struggle to kill an adult. And there are anti-venenes for them too.

You can also swim without fearing sharks or the vicious Australian tidal rips*, since we have a lot of beautiful ocean pools. These have high walls on the shark-facing side, with narrow slots to let the ocean water in and out at high tide.

*Of course, DLers may prefer to court the vicious tidal rips in order to be saved by an Aussie lifeguard, who is the only type of first responder to wear a skimpy swimming costume, and who will probably save you by dragging you onto his surfboard and paddling you back to the shore.

What are some real bogan names?

R125 Justin, Jason

R126, you need to get out more. Those are perfectly acceptable names. They do appear more often on sports people than is desirable, but you could feasibly be Dr Justin Something.

Real bogan names are either made up (Jayden is king here) or tragic misspellings/adaptations of normal names (Haisley, Bylinda, Mykal, Kai-lee). Sometimes these occur because the parents didn't know how to spell it, and other times because they wanted their child to be unique. In both cases the real reason is that they are from a disadvantaged socioeconomic group, don't have the education to understand either mistake, and often had children when young and fanciful. The overwhelming majority of people with bogan names in Australia are white. The only time you see these names in higher socioeconomic groups is on sports people or their wives/GFs, or on social media influencers or reality TV "stars". These occupations are bogan-rich.

People with bogan names who manage to become educated professionals (difficult, but not impossible) just change them or spell them properly.

Paxton or Jaxon. Yikes.

Saxon too.

Nobody would name their spooge midget Saxon. Jesus.

In the late 80s, when I was in grade school, my best friend's divorced dad married a woman who legally changed her first name to Saxon. It is the only time I've ever heard of someone having that name and she chose it as an adult. Even as a little kid I wondered why.

Watch out for Drop Bears.

This Saxon used to be cute

R133, does he have a brother called Salton?

Sydney is slowly, very slowly, emerging from the Omicron disease.

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Sing ‘em muck!

That panellist is an Indigenous university professor, R136. How (and in what city) would you NOT expect her to make derogatory comments about white males?

R136 that white cow is supposed to be Aboriginal? Fuck that. Abs have dark black skin.

So who else is watching Aus Survivor with Sandra ?

[quote] Did you mean Austrian?

i would want to be Austrian, if I could be guaranteed as ass as high and tight and plump as Rolf's in "The Sound of Music."

R140 Sandra is a cow. I change channels when she's on.

if i had a time machine and money, i would move to bondi beach in the 1980s and 1990s and early 2000's to see the COUNTLESS gorgeous muscle men and bodybuilders in speedos and bikini's strutting around 7 days a week...

R139 revealing the depth of knowledge and sensitivity out there towards Australia's First Nations people, and why they might have the shits with white men.

[quote] revealing the depth of knowledge

It's hard for outsiders to appreciate that knowledge when

1. A people have no written history or documentation of anything.

2. They enclose it behind a veil of 'secret men's business' or 'secret women's business'.

It is very well known within Australia, and clear in its TV and movies, that most Aboriginal people by now have some white blood, and many could easily pass for white. (Many also have intermarriage with Asian races in their bloodline.) They are a tiny percentage of present-day Australian society (2-3%) so over 250 years of course this will have happened. Not to mention that "assimilation" was government policy for decades. Relatively few Indigenous people are still very dark in colour. These facts do not rely on what their culture does or does not reveal about them: you just need eyes and the most superficial knowledge of their history since 1788.

It is agreed by the authorities in Australia (though not by right-wing loons) that if people identify as Aboriginal and they have Aboriginal ancestry, they are Aboriginal. This commentator is a professor of Indigenous Studies so she's put her money where her mouth is.

"Secret men's business" etc is not kept hidden for nefarious purposes. Aboriginal education is graded, just like the West's. White people can only be taught about as much of it as a primary school aged Aboriginal child. After that the knowledge of the two genders starts to separate and in any case you need ceremonies before you can move to the next level, just as you do in our schools. I understand that the same Dreaming stories can be used at several different levels, gaining complexity and pointing to different moral teachings as you progress. All of the stories are designed to have implications for the manners and values a child, and then an adult, needs to know and abide by. This is how the laws are taught. Otherwise every generation would have had to make up its own laws -- for 60,000 years.

Even if they had a writing-based culture (and it was in fact song- and visual art-based), it would be out of character for Aboriginal people to keep "history" as we understand it, because our history is dependent on the order in which things happened and their conception of time is quite different (to quote Dr Who, "it's more a wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey thing" in which the past is literally present all of the time). Obviously those who have had a western education can learn and teach post-colonial history in the way we're used to, but it's not how they really upload it.

I am not Aboriginal myself, nor an expert, but this is what I've come to understand. If anyone knows more feel free to contradict me - but please, if you know LESS, don't help.

PS Homer and a great deal of the Bible were passed on as oral history long before they were written down, but outsiders managed to get up to speed, and they didn't have Google.

[quote] It is agreed by the authorities in Australia (though not by right-wing loons) that if people identify as Aboriginal and they have Aboriginal ancestry, they are Aboriginal.

Yes, it's just the same as men who want to identify as women, well, those men ARE women!

R144 Fuck off. A white girl can never be considered Aboriginal. She's just white, which means she is less than nothing.

I migrated from Europe to Australia some 20 years ago and it was the best decision I made.

Like everywhere there are idiots and great people too. We have a corrupt moron prime minister atm who we're hoping to vote out in May.

I live in Sydney which is a fantastic city once you get to know the hidden parts only the locals know about.

No worries Americans, we're fine here!

OP Do your country a favour and emigrate there. No nation needs people who subscribe to fairy tales about other places.

Australians are vulgar. They named a district out in the bush after a penis.

How did Australia get so well known for the quality of its coffee? I’d have thought that Down Under they’d be more partial to tea, due to the nation’s British roots and all.

Search me, R152.

They started letting in Italians 50 years after North America did and after beating them up for the next 30 years decided that the coffee culture they brought with them was something unique and the best of its type as opposed to, for example, how people in some part of the world happen to like their coffee. Really: tell anyone in Brazil or New Orleans or Vienna or Turkey or Iran or Vietnam or Cairo that the Australians have the best coffee and they will laugh, quite deservedly, in your face.

Even funnier is that the Australians frame this as "café culture". Now, elsewhere that means glamourous people having deep thoughts while someone sings "Don't Explain" over someone else playing the xylophone. No, in Australia it means "places where people buy take-out coffee." Which is sort of the opposite of café culture.

But hey - these assholes celebrate the Autumn festival of Halloween during a heatwave, so up is down, black is white, etc.

Didn’t Australians learn how to grow their own coffee beans because they were so far away from the main coffee centers that it would arrive on ships stale?

Coffee bean production in Australia is tiny.

It commenced in the 1980s and is only grow on around 300 hectares.

I inwardly giggled every time I ordered a long black.

Do you like single-story homes, OP? That’s all they have there. Or so I’ve read here on the DL.

[quote] They seem so much more intelligent than the average American.

Especially when Americans use "was" instead of "were".

[quote]So who else is watching Aus Survivor with Sandra?

Her daughter is playing too (it's a Blood vs. Water twist).

But the fucking spiders….

Maybe you could arrange a night of passion with now legal Robert Irwin. 2:30.

R6 Passive-aggressive, yes! I have extended family there, sourpusses all. It's the cultural cringe, they're so far away from everything that they have a chip on their shoulder. They're very ambitious, though, and they LOVE celebrities. I noticed a lot of the home decor there was very dated, like stuck in the 70s.

I've met some lovely Ozzies.

And, some real nobheads.

[quote] It is agreed by the authorities in Australia that if people identify as Aboriginal, they are Aboriginal

It is agreed by some authorities in Australia, the US and UK that if persons with a penis identify as a person with a vagina, therefore they have a vagina.

All I want to know is if aussie hunks and bodybuilders still wear bikini's and speedos on bondi beach?!...

I have a question about the beets on everything. I am one of those weirdos who loves beets. Are they the canned pickled kind, the fresh roasted kind or what?

R165, is the US familiar with Aussie reality/documentary series Bondi Rescue? It is a DLer's (very) wet dream.

Hunky lifesavers in Speedos saving people from sharks, ocean currents and (face it) their own stupidity, while hunky Aussie surfers sometimes swoop in to get to the drowning person before the lifesavers make it there from shore. You can learn all about the dangers of swimming off Australian beaches and how to avoid them, while you're swooning at the scenery, natural and human.

If nobody's streaming it in the States, the gays should lobby. It's been on here for a while, so there are many episodes.

P.S. It's Mardi Gras in Sydney tonight.

Tonight? Isn't it Saturday over there r167?

Yeah. We always hold it on a Saturday night.

This year it's in the Cricket Ground again, which provides thousands of seats and great camera angles for the TV coverage. It was last year as well, because the crush on Oxford Street is too Covid-unsafe. But Covid willing, next year when we host World Pride the parade will return to the streets.

Unfortunately, heavy rain is predicted for tonight :(

Um, if you're confused, we do celebrate actual pancake day on a Tuesday. But the big gay pride march is always on Saturday and called Mardi Gras or, in Aussie-speak, "The Mardi."

Can someone answer my beet question?

I am starving

R167... yes, i have seen that show, but besides the lifeguards doesn't look like anyone else of great looks and big muscle and cockiness is strutting on bondi in speedos and bikini's? Perhaps i'm missing the right episodes?...

You're right, R167, the specimens on 'Bondi Rescue' aren't inspiring. They're dumb part-time council workers.

There are many full episodes of Bondi Rescue on youtube. My, uh, friend told me.

1st season or two of Baywatch ALWAYS showed background extras who were handsome and built and yes some in bikini/speedos! as the years went by, of course, the culture and style changed and it became "board shorts" and "swim trunks"...

at least we had david chokachi and the other lifeguards who kept the speedos on for the most part when they weren't wearing those red shorts..

What’s Australia’s premier university?

Still. Waiting. To. Get. My. Question. Answered. About. Beets. You. Cunts.

R177 It depends what you want to study.

lots of prisoner irish and a love of root veggies?

Beets were grown in hot northern Queensland along side the pineapple plantations.

They are canned in sugared beet juice by a company called "Golden Circle" who also did the pineapples

P.S to R180

I'm using past tense because although most Aussies bought these canned pineapples and beetroot they have gone out of fashion (and perhaps they've been replaced by cheap labour sourced in Taiwan or Fiji or Malaysia)

I love you r181. Thanks!

R167, it depends what you want to study. On international comparisons, best-rated is the Australian National University in Canberra, followed by the two oldest "sandstone" universities, the Universities of Sydney and Melbourne respectively. In practice, if you were a comfy middle-class family in Sydney or Melbourne, you would still aspire for your kid to get into one of the sandstones to study medicine or law. Those unis were also tops in the Humanities in the days when that was a thing to study, but as those subjects have been eclipsed they've lost some lustre.

There has been a big increase in the number of universities since the 1980s, and that means that if you have a particular aim in mind, there might be a university that provides a course perfect for that outcome, which is much sought-after even though the institution as a whole might not be high on the list.

[quote] I have a question about the beets on everything. I am one of those weirdos who loves beets. Are they the canned pickled kind, the fresh roasted kind or what?

Most people used the dripping, canned, sugared beetroot.

Natural beetroot is similar to turnips isn't it? Lots of fibre and minimal flavour?

[quote] I am not Aboriginal myself, nor an expert, but this is what I've come to understand.

How many do you know?

Do you invite them into your house?

Do they look like this?

Aboriginals are dark black. if they are white, they are white. Nice try.

[quote] Nice try.

Who are you talking to?

Not you, Forrest Gump.

Pauline for PM.

I was shocked at how right wing Sky News Australia is…

R190 But did you survive your shock? Were you able to go on living? Did your shock mean a loss of income?

Yes, Australians like beetroot. Fresh beetroot is sold in the produce aisle alongside other root vegetables and is usually boiled and cubed for salads. We also like pickled beets and use it as a relish, to add a bit of sweet/sour at the side of a meal.

Back in the 1930's Australians wanted to try that exotic American delicacy "hamburger" but nobody knew what they actually tasted like. So the recently arrived Greek migrants who were opening small shops decided to give it a go. They looked at the photos and read the description; bun, meat patty, onion, pickles etc and did their best with ingredients available. For the bun they used a toasted Scottish bap, they used a typical greek meatball with lots of garlic and parsley and flattened it before grilling along with the onions, for pickles they used pickled beets, because that was what was available. They added cheese, lettuce and tomato, because that's what customers liked. It's a pretty decent meal if you're in a hurry. I remember being a bit shocked when I tried my first McDonalds hamburger...it kinda looked like a "proper" hamburger but the flavours and textures were all weird.

Sky News is the Murdoch channel, R190. If you can still be shocked by the Murdochs you ARE a precious innocent thing.

Anything interesting going on in Perth? It seems like a very remote place in a very remote part of the world.

[...]

I believe Perth is the most remote capital city in the world, R194. But it is a thriving city (WA has vast mineral wealth powering it) with beautiful scenery and weather, on the edge of a famous wine region.