I'm a very unattractive guy that's in his late 30s. Should I give up my hopes of ever meeting someone?

Have you tried Chaturbate? Even the uglies get tips.

Yes.

Has wearing masks during Covid helped?

The answer that's just gut-honest is "Yes". The nice, diplomatic answer is "No". The answer that's probably the most realistic is: "Even in the gay community, your face and your body aren't everything."

Is there someone for everyone? Probably not, but late 30s is still awfully soon to call it quits on the whole thing. Maybe when you're 70, you'll meet a nice 67-year-old guy who lost all his looks and now isn't getting any and bingo! - you got yourself a date for Wednesday night Bingo.

also: 99% of the guys here (even the ones that think they're hot) are not gorgeous specimens of male hunk. You're in good company, cuz these guys are all fat, balding, and hideous... they just sound like superficial airheads.

Post a pic and we’ll be the judge if you should give up or not.

My experience is that guys tend to think they're more unattractive than they actually are. I bet you're not very unattractive at all.

There are ways to take control in some ways if you are unhappy with yourself. Exercise helps, because people who exercise do glow, and just look better, irrespective of if they end up with a standard muscly body and typical looks.

Save some money up for a decent set of clothes. Go and get advice on what looks best on you. Looking good helps you feel comfortable and more confident. The more you exude a happiness with yourself, the more people will be drawn to you. You really only need a small handful of clothes to rotate.

Don't give up on yourself, and don't put all your hopes on this one path in life either. Find enjoyment and happiness in other things too. Make your life so that if you do end up single later on, you will still be happy.

A lot of people are very negative about life, and I think humans are often geared to look for the negative, but it doesn't have to be that way. At least try to avoid being overly negative about things for your own benefit. You need to live you with you, so you may as well make it as fun as possible.

Yes. Can I have your stuff?

There is a pot for every lid, OP.

I agree with R7, you're probably not as unattractive ad you think. Join a club or team and meet people organically. Don't give up. You're young and you deserve love. Perhaps if you stop actively looking and stressing it will come along. In the meantime, be your own great love. Go on a holiday. To the theatre. Live a full life and don't hide yourself away.

Even if you're not pretty-in-face, you can develop your body.

R10 - that's true. Exhibit A: Adam Driver.

OP are you going for guys out of your league? If you’re willing to be with a guy on your level looks-wise, there’s still hope. But if you’re one of these delusional gays who thinks he deserves a man with a six pack, a foot long dick, tall, dark, handsome, and rich, then yeah, you should just give it up.

Defacto, it's not just your looks that turn people off. If your personality had a physical manifestation, it'd be the Elephant Man.

Post your pic op

I’d encourage you to work on your self esteem first. It sounds like you don’t think very highly of yourself. To go into a relationship with this attitude will invite users and bullies. I speak from experience. Please work on yourself. Anyone, anyone who posts a thread with this kind of title should not even entertain the thought of finding anyone. Not yet.

OP, I empathize. And it's frustrating when you see people like 1000-lb. Tammy having boyfriends.

Don’t give up. Remember there are a lot of great looking guys but it only goes so far, pretty is as pretty does. I love to meet a guy who slowly becomes more attractive as you get to know him. Do not underestimate the allure of clean, fresh appearance and smells good, sweet and decent man. Positive and kind disposition. You may not be a flash in the pan but you may be a hidden gem. You don’t need to turn everyone’s head, just one person who sees the real you.

I see a lot of very ugly people out there in the world who are partnered up... so anything's possible.

Weren't you paying some guy you met on Instagram for sex?

Go to the gym, get a nice haircut, be well groomed and well dressed, read some books and acquire knowledge, learn new skills, don’t be racist, don’t be a deplorable, and work on your self esteem. And if you’re really Defacto, then I’m not surprised that you’re such an asshole. Same advice still applies.

Here’s a sorta pic. Won’t give away my eyes.

R7 is right. Exercise and eat healthy. Get a well fitting wardrobe. Read and make yourself a more interesting conversationalist. You will be attractive than most people.

OMG, you are hot OP. Stop fishing.

It's not your looks that are poor, OP, it is your self-esteem.

Very cute...hush it!!

If that is really you, what is the problem. Do you have a hump on your back or fur like the werewolf on the rest of you.

that photo is 4 1/2 years old. how do you look NOW, fatty?

Yes.

Gained 50 pounds.

It's probably your personality that's the problem.

According to who? Are you basing your standards on what you find attractive and it's not you? You've gone way beyond self-acceptance. I came out in the early 2000s. I came from a small town in Ohio where I was considered a 9 to weho where i was a 3. I had guys flat-out tell me I was ugly and beneath their standards. You can believe it or not. I chose not to. I decided to change the things I could easily. I changed my diet, started working out religiously, and dropped the extra 30 I was carrying. I went from not even being able to look at myself in the mirror out of the shower to, damn, I look good. Just that level of confidence can change your whole outlook. The best compliment I ever got was guy hit me up on an app I previously met up with who rejected me. He came to my place and we fucked for hours. Afterward, I asked him if he remembered me..he didn't. I told him he rejected me and he laughed and said "Well I was an idiot." Change the things you can change.

No one wants a guy with emotional problems. Someone who eats enough to gain 50 pounds has emotional problems.

[quote] Should I give up my hopes of ever meeting someone?

If your outlook is

[quote] I'm a very unattractive guy that's in his late 30s

then no, you will never, ever, ever, ever, EVER meet anyone.

Who the fuck would want to be with anyone whose first thought is, "Gee, I'm ugly?" I'd run from that person like I was on fire.

I'm willing to bet you're a decent looking person who compares themselves to porn stars, twinks and other similar guys and just cuts yourself off from any realistic relationship or encounter you might have.

But hey, if you keep your goals unattainable then you never have to look very deep at why you didn't attain them......clever boy

[quote]No one wants a guy with emotional problems.

Everyone has emotional problems.

I don't believe you're unattractive, OP.

I just believe you should edit and proofread your posts a little better before sharing them.

You're a handsome young man, OP. If you've gained a significant amount of weight, and you're not satisfied with your appearance, then lose the weight. Eat a lot less, and move a whole lot more. Fast walk steep hills.

Manifest a better self image. Write down five positive short sentences re your true self image. Repeat those things to yourself as you go to sleep. You'll reprogram your psyche as your subconscious mind begins to accept those positive statements as truth. DO THIS! Begin tonight!

Best wishes, pal. I hope you overcome all.

R31 So basically your self-esteem is just as pathetic if you were willing to fuck someone who turned you down before. Congratulations! You’ve become the typical vapid WeHo queen.

OP - that’s a cop out. Plenty of average and unattractive people have boyfriends. And that’s assuming you’re even unattractive.

It’s not as simple as a person’s looks. Things would be a whole lot easier if people were single strictly based on their appearance. It’s likely a lot deeper than that for you. So it’s easier to blame things on being unattractive.

Never too late if you really, truly want to be with someone.

Don’t give up.

[quote]And it's frustrating when you see people like 1000-lb. Tammy having boyfriends.

That must be some really good fat poosie.

Trans & find a hot straight guy.

Good health is attractive, OP.

Back in the early 1990’s I was rejected left and right by guys I met through the Village Voice personals. I don’t know which hurt more- being rejected by a good looking guy or being rejected by someone who was totally average looking and not out of my league. It would take me days to recover from those rejections. I started lifting weights almost by accident ( I didn’t know at the time 1992 that having a build was a type of currency in the gay world)and by the summer of 1993 when I started going to the bars semi regularly I started getting noticed/cruised by good looking guys. By 1995 I was going to bars heavily and would- some nights - be cruised by two guys simultaneously on my right and my left. Having a build made all of the difference in the world. Unfortunately I was never really able to cash in on my so called curb appeal because I found it too difficult to talk to anyone- oh well. But still it was a great feeling back then having these good looking guys be very attracted to me.

[quote]Unfortunately I was never really able to cash in on my so called curb appeal because I found it too difficult to talk to anyone

For Christ's sake R43! There I was thinking - this is a feelgood story and he's gonna show them all and then you go and ruin it.

R44- Sorry 😞

I was really just thinking what a pity you wasted the hot body chances R45. I'm sad for your lost opportunities is all. It was such a great story until the end.

If the OP is R21 then your aesthetics aren't unattractive. Lots men could never wear a vest in public.

I always found it hard to talk to people when out and about, even in the office I can't make small talk, but at 50 now I'm quite comfortable with single life, and have got over the awkwardness of travelling alone.

I had one friend who could never face single life and had a succession of unhappy relationships which would continue for as long as possible because being single was worse than being in an unhappy toxic relationship.

But if you want a relationship it isn't going to fall in to your lap. You gotta be more Charlotte.

R10 makes a good point but even slightly modified...

[quote] Even if you're not pretty-in-face, you can develop your bank account...

If you've got the money, I've got the time!