This European Island Is Like Hawaii Without the Tourists

Regardless of where you’re staying, you’re pretty much guaranteed to find a beautiful trek within a 25-minute drive. There are 1,200 miles of trails and every single corner of the island is gorgeous so wherever you end up, prepare to be dazzled. Some of the treks are quite advanced – think full-day, peak-to-peak mountain hikes that require significant experience – while others are easy jaunts along (mostly) flat wooded and waterfront trails.

Early on in my trip, I did a guided hike with Madeira Adventure Kingdom and proceeded to harass my guide, Fabio, on WhatsApp for a week, asking for his recommendations on where I should hike solo. Obrigada (thank you), Fabio! Fabio, who does not have a long, thick blonde mane, guided us through a sort of United Nations of a forest: pine trees from America, eucalyptus from Australia, floral trees from Kenya, Kalahari ginger lilies from Africa, a banana-shaped passion fruit from the Himalayas, and a sort of South African daisy from the Cape Town area.

For those of you without a Fabio, Madeira’s Levadas and Trekking page has a rundown of some of the most popular hikes and levada walks but I found the AllTrails app to be more useful since I could quickly see all the hikes on a map, along with photos of the trek, distance and elevation profiles, and descriptions left by recent hikers. Levada hikes are hugely popular in Madeira and the word means “to take” since the levada irrigation canals were built to take water from the north slopes, where it exists in abundance, to the south side of the Island. While there’s trails for all skill levels across the country, the most mountainous routes exist in the center and northern part of the island.

A note about hiking in Madeira: it’s not uncommon for treks to end in an entirely different place than where they started. For flat 2-3 mile “out and back” treks, you can easily just retrace your route to the start but if you want to attempt a 10-12-mile hike, it’s unlikely you’ll want to do that. Some guided day trips offer a drop off at one end of the hike and a pickup at the other end. Alternatively, you could drive your car to the end of the trail and arrange for a taxi or tour operator to bring you to the start. Or, if you’re like me, after hiking 11 miles and 2,500 feet of elevation and discovering the trail dumps you on the main road, three miles from your car (surprise!), you can hitch a ride back with a couple Germans driving a MINI convertible. Obrigada!

Portuguese cuisine is known for its fresh seafood and Madeira is no different. A couple local specialties you’re unlikely to find elsewhere are limpets (chewier than oysters and similar to mussels) and black scabbardfish (a horribly ugly fish you’ll find in just about every restaurant). Several of my tour guides mentioned how some restaurants serve the black scabbardfish with another only-in-Madeira product, miniature bananas, but don’t fall for this. I didn’t try the dish but word on the street is that the combination tastes as bad as it sounds and restaurants only created the dish for unsuspecting tourists.

George Washington is said to have drunk Madeiran wine every day. The sweet dessert wine was also drunk during the signing of the Declaration of Independence and was mentioned in several Shakespeare plays. Madeira wine is famous (even if those drinking it aren’t really sure where Madeira is) so don’t miss the opportunity to try a few varieties during your visit. When in Funchal, consider stopping by Blandy’s Wine Lodge for a wine tasting and/or tour. While it’s unlikely that you’ll find a bad Madeiran wine, Blandy’s wine is special because it’s a traditionally-produced wine that is stomped by foot then aged in hand-made oak barrels. If you plan your visit during the wine harvest season in September, you can even join a daytrip (with Blandy’s or with another tour operator) to head north to the mountains to harvest and stomp some grapes yourself.

Whatever you do, do not leave Madeira without trying their typical bread, bolo do caco. The bread resembles a large English muffin (about six inches in diameter) and is served sliced, toasted, and drenched in warm butter with fresh, raw garlic. Pro tip: Always go for the bottom slices, which are extra rich and drippy in buttery goodness. Fancy restaurants don’t serve bolo do caco but you’ll find it in just about every non-bougie restaurant and bakery on the island (many also use the bread to make sandwiches). I was so obsessed with the bread that I ate it at least once or twice a day and also brought several bags back to my apartment rental to make my own. You can get a bag with two breads in it for about a dollar or you can pay $5 at the Madeira airport. Obviously, $1 is a better deal but the bread is definitely worth $5.

Most Madeirans will tell you to rent a car for your trip since it would make getting around much easier. While this may be true, know that a car is not completely necessary. I met quite a few couples that were enjoying a car-free vacation on the island. One American couple (the only Americans I met during the 12 days I spent in Madeira) stayed in Funchal for five days and booked hiking and waterfall canyoning day trips through Airbnb and TripAdvisor that included pick up and drop off from their hotel. They also downloaded the Bolt app (similar to Uber and available for Android and IOS) for quick, cheap rides around the city and to/from the airport.

A German couple I met on a hike told me they were getting around by a mixture of buses and taxis. In several cases, they would hire a taxi to take their luggage from one town to the next while they hiked there. Germans, I love you because you’re consistently adventurous. You could also opt for a hotel like Quinta do Furão (reachable by bus or taxi) that is walking distance to some levada hikes and offers on-site bread baking, punch making, and Portuguese language classes. I didn’t stay at this hotel (though I wish I did!), but I jealously explored the entire property when I had lunch in their restaurant. The hotel’s pool, which sits in front of a mountain and is surrounded by a vineyard, was Madeira’s most Instagrammed location during the pandemic. Couples requested rooms overlooking the pool so they could get shots of each other looking down from the room, into the pool. If you don’t want to be bothered with all that, request a room looking out over the vineyard and onto the mountains, which is an even better view and is quieter since there’s no patio tables or chairs below.

For my first five days in Madeira, I was based in Funchal and explored much of the island via day trips with different tour operators. As mentioned previously, you can book some of these via Airbnb or TripAdvisor but you’ll also find loads of companies selling day trip tours around downtown (one of the prettiest is to the natural, ocean-fed pools in Porto Moniz). For my last week in Madeira, I decided to rent a car and stay in Sao Vicente, a small, quiet village on the north coast of the island, because I wanted to hear the ocean, not people or cars. One of the home’s online reviews complained that the ocean was “too loud” (how is that possible?), which sounded right up my alley. The home was about 30 feet from the ocean and the nearest stores and restaurants were a five-minute drive so bolo do caco was easily accessible. Perfect.

Though a rental car isn’t necessary if you’re based in Funchal, I knew I wanted a car for the second half of my trip in the north. When I went to pick up the Fiat I had reserved at the airport (I’d never driven a tiny car and was excited to try it), the clerk informed me that I had reserved a manual car. Since pretty much every single rental car in the U.S. is automatic, it didn’t occur to me to confirm this. Note to travelers that don’t drive stick shift: Make sure you reserve the right kind of car! A Fiat would have been about $400 for the week (much cheaper than in the U.S.) but since the only automatic they had left was a luxury BMW, I was informed it would cost an extra $180. Oops.

Madeira is a former volcano that’s blanketed with mountains, many with tunnels drilled through them to allow for swift access across the island. The roads are narrow, winding, and thoroughly terrifying when attempted for the first time at night and in the rain. For the first three days, I drove extremely slowly around the sharp curves, dodging the rocks and red dirt that had fallen onto the road during the rain. I actually skipped some hikes I had planned to do because I was too scared to drive to the other side of the island. By day three, however, I was getting the hang of it. When it was time to return my rental car at the airport, I took the long route to check out some towns I hadn’t yet visited and I had to stop myself from fulfilling the jackass American stereotype, honking at the slow amateurs in front of me.

Both Portugal and Madeira require travelers to provide proof of vaccination or a negative COVID-19 test (either a PCR test taken within 72 hours of boarding or an antigen test within 48 hours of boarding). You’ll need to fill out a Portugal Passenger Locator Card before departure, along with the Madeira Safe form. Both forms are pretty straight forward (name, flight number, passport number, phone number, etc.) and take only a few minutes to fill out. If you decide to do a multi-day stopover in Lisbon (shout out to TAP Portugal’s free stopover program!), unvaccinated travelers may need to get another COVID-19 test in Lisbon to meet the 48-72-hour window.

Regardless of vaccination status, all travelers will need to show proof of a negative COVID-19 test to return to the U.S. (taken 3 days before the flight if vaccinated and 1 day before the flight if unvaccinated). If you log into the Madeira Safe profile you created before arrival, you can click the “request a COVID-19 test” button on the home screen and you’ll be emailed a six-digit code that entitles you to a free test. Woohoo! Otherwise, the test costs about $30 USD. I scanned the handy QR code displayed on the door of a local pharmacy to book my test then gave them the six-digit code I was sent. Because my name and passport number were already in my Madeira Safe account, that information was conveniently included on the (negative!) test results that the pharmacy printed out for me after a 30-minute wait. Walk-up visits are also possible (and there are pop-up COVID-19 testing tents around downtown Funchal) but if you plan to do a walk-up test, check with the site a day or two before to ensure they have wide availability.

Until recently, most flights in and out of Madeira were through Lisbon, though there’s a handful of direct flights from a few European cities every day. Note that the Lisbon airport is large, busy, and known for delays so if you fly through Lisbon make sure you have plenty of time to make your connecting flight. On Nov. 29 direct flights launched between New York City and Funchal on SATA Azores Airlines, the official airline of the Azores, Portugal’s “other” archipelago. The direct flights are scheduled to run each Monday through March 2022 and if the route is popular enough, it might become permanent.

Given the potential stress and delays associated with flying through Lisbon, why not book that flight this winter, when the island’s mild winter will be a welcome relief from the cold and snow many of us endure across the pond? Since I plan for Ronaldo and me to have a waterfront home on the island once we get married (and I’d still want to keep my apartment in New York City,) I’m relying on everyone to make this new flight route successful so I can fly back and forth with ease. I’m also relying on someone who knows Ronaldo to put us in touch so we can both finally know true happiness.

Obrigada.

Hello Madeira Chamber of Commerce. Welcome to Datalounge.

Bon dia, cunt/R5!

Was there 30 years ago and it was enchanting. It was before they extended the runway. What the article doesn’t mention: there are no beaches. People looking for that sort of holiday go to the Canary Islands.

....

Stop trying to make Madeira happen!

[quote] there are no beaches

But there are swimming pools.

Beaches are over rated.

This looks like a beach.

Not the best beach, but still...

And you can swim in these thingies...

1. No one's real name is "Cassandra Brooklyn"

2. The article reads like something a 10th grader would write for a "what I did on my summer vacation" article. It's truly awful and gives no details the reader might want to know--what was the rental house like? What sorts of hotels are there? What can you do other than hike? Do most residents speak English or do you need to know Portuguese... or even where the fucking island is in relation to Lisbon and how do you get there--only by plane or can you take a ferry from mainland Portugal? Which airlines fly directly there?

3. In the single photo that accompanies the article, the island looks nothing like Hawaii or the Caribbean. It looks VERY Mediterranean with all the red tiles roofs.

4. It seems to be a promo for her business and she is hoping that people who read it will click on the link. I'm thinking she probably wrote it for free in exchange for the link.

Think of a beach!

These little pools are better than a beach.

No pesky sea creatures to deal with.

I prefer controlled environments like this.

R12, damn that looks pretty nice.

I'm curious now

Bump

[R6] did you mean "Bom dia?"

If you like a walking/hiking vacation, Madeira is quite good for that - there are lots of levadas to walk along although if you have a fear of heights, I don't recommend it. I used the Underwood guidebook and took buses to various trails.