Let’s be distracting celebrity traits (good or bad)

I am Matt Damon's hips.

I'm Bill Hemmer's facial mole.

[quote] I am Matt Damon's hips.

Are they a good or a bad trait?

I’m Owen Wilson’s broken nose.

I’m Enrique Iglesias’s mole (RIP).

I'm Judd Nelson's nostrils.

I'm Sarah Jessica Parker's wart.

I'm Megan Fox's hideous toe thumbs.

I'm Andy Cohen's wonky eye.

I'm John Hamm's penis.

I'm Chrissy Teigen's beautiful face.

Julianne Moore's beady eyes and rabbit teeth.

I'm Miley Cyrus' gums.

Matt McConawhatever's tiny t-rex arms and predilection for fascism

I'm Faye Dunaway's dentures.

Miss Kay Lenz

R11 MOON FACE.

I’m Angelina’s non-human, blow-up doll resemblance.

I am Whoopi's braids.

I’m Kidman’s frozen forehead which atop sit drawn on, yuck brown, waxy caterpillars.

I'm Jennifer Aniston's dated and unchanging hairstyle.

I am Jake Tappers face

I'm Glenn Close's big nose.

I'm LIZA, with a Z!

I'm Jennifers Grey and Aniston's original noses; one good, one bad.

I'm Alec Baldwin's trigger finger.

I'm Princess Beatrice's bug eyes.

I'm the lack of space between Marjorie Taylor Greene's eyes.

I'm Paris Hilton's baby-doll whisper.

I'm J-Lo's big booty

I’m Whoopi’s eyebrows which fell off, and her indigo purple lipstick.

I’m the lazy, slightly-crossed eyes of Kate Moss, Gwyneth Paltrow and Meghan Markle.

Watch Keke Palmer NAIL that weird thing that Angela Bassett does with her mouth and shoulders. Hilarious. Her Shakira is on pointe too!

I’m Lisa Rinna’s iconic lips and hair.

I am eugenie's bug eyes

I'm Stevie Nicks' garter belt. I'm concealing a stiletto and an eightball.

I am Ariana Grande, Bella Hadid and Megan Foxes Ponytail Lift. AND their canthoplasty!

I'm Pete Davidson's entire face.

I'm that puffy thing between Frances McDormand's lower lip and chin.

I’m the strange line on the right side of Oprah’s face.

I am Madonna's ass (implants) and her Madame X eye patch

I'm Ellen's kindness.

I'm Rachel Griffiths' neck, into which her jawline fades seamlessly.

I’m Lauren Hutton’s gap.

I'm Judy's Pills.

I'm George Hamilton's ever-present (and jarring) tan.

I'm Timothee Chalamet's rat face

I’m Joaquin Phoenix’s microform cleft lip.

I'm Chalamet's flat pancake, barely ass.

I'm A Low Vera and SJP's mouths.

I'm that thing Tom Selleck does with his lower lip and chin.

[quote] I'm A Low Vera

I’m Vera Farmiga’s rolling eyes.

I'm Debra Norville's neck scar where she had her Adam's apple removed.

I'm Humphrey Bogart's little lip scar.

I'm Diana Ross sweeping back her bad hair weaves.

I’m Sharon Stone’s pussy. I’m a movie star.

I'm one of Meghan's limp and scraggly hair tendrils, over processed, dangling on the side of her face.

I'm the focal point of Christian Bale's face.

I'm Julia Roberts' forehead vein.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[quote] I’m Angelina’s non-human, blow-up doll resemblance.

I’m this year’s Miss Paraguay, thinking it’s time for a younger doll

We're Giada's 117 teeth.

I'm Rene Zellweger's squinty eyes (pre-surgery)

I'm Tom Cruise's 3 front teeth (pre-braces)

I'm Jewel's snaggletooth

Chris Meloni's juicy daddy ass

Iconic, R34?

Or moronic?

I’m Reese Witherspoon’s very prominent chin.

Gotta be Miss Lindsey's tongue

I am the unwatchable constant pursing of Bruce Willis's lips.

I’m the misaligned faces on Shannen Doherty, Bradley Cooper and Paul Walker (RIP).

I was Cindy Crawford’s mole.

I am Richard Gere’s gerbil.

I'm Tori Spelling's boob dent

R62 don’t forget about mine!

My snack purse

I'm Timothée Chalamet's bizarre jaw.

I'm also Julia Roberts' grotesque smile.

Lol at R26.

I’m Steve Buscemi‘a bulging eyes.

I am the couch that Tom Cruise jumped on during his psychotic “I’m in love” display on Oprah.

I'm Joy Reids collection of ugly wigs.

I'm Sandra Bullock's man face.

I'm Kristen Stewart's electroconvulsive therapy side effects.

I'm Keanu Reeves constipated look 24'7.

I'm the dyke haircut of Jaimie Lee Curtis.

I'm the inbred overbite of Taylor Lautner.

I'm the sociopathic bisexual dead eyes of Ricky Martin.

I’m distracted by Britney’s new mouth. What’s going on there?

I'm the anemia and all round fucked up genes of Tilda Swinton.

I am Trump’s lack of filter.

I'm the insufferable, fucked up voice of Jadyn Wong.

I'm the hypocritical and cowardly religiosity of Christ Pratt.

I'm Olivia Wilde's square head.

I'm Britney's track weave. Now that she's free - I'll be back real soon, y'all!

R93 how embarrassing for her…

I'm Olivia Wildes noticeable tranny look.

I'm the fugly appearance, boring personality, and ambiguous sexuality of plain Jane druggie Tove Lo.

I'm the stomach pumping medical procedure of Adele.

I'm the dyke hair and pant suits of Demi Lovato. When I transition to FTM soon, I'll wear overalls and get manly tattoos, and go full crew cut.

I’m Brenton Thwaites’ endlessly long torso.

I'm Brendan Thwaites cowardice and closeted bisexuality.

The mole on Christian B's face drops his looks about 80%. Instead of being an 8, he is a 0. I can't watch his movies because all I see is the fucking mole.

Jennifer Lawrence’s dead eyes, flat face, big forehead, pointy chin, sausage fingers, plethora of moles and lack of bone structure.

I’m Gisele Bundchen’s close set, beady eyes.

I'm the foul odour of Rebel Wilson, whether the bitch is fat or skinny.

R102 OMFG. I love you. Lawrence is truly the most repulsive cunt that ever cunted.

I'm the "Queer" and NPD CUNT status of Lee Pace. I'm such a bi pussy fucking coward who thinks I'm creating "positive change" and "positive representation" as a "Queer" person.

I'm Gwyneth Paltrow's scalp lift and possible scalp transplant included. My vagina scented candles aren't actually made of wax, but from the heated discharge of my vagina sculpted into candles.

I'm John Legend's rat mouth.

I'm Tyler Posey's extremely crooked jaw.

Now THAT is truly distracting. I can't bare to watch him because he looks as though he was pulled out of his mother's poosey by the chin.

I'm Hilary Baldwin's fake Spanish accent.

I'm Tony Curtis' totally natural hair

I'm Dr. Dre's arm that whips the bitches' asses

I’m Jamie Oliver’s thick, protruding tongue.

I'm Nicole Kidman's surgically enhanced chin, forehead, cheeks and neck!

I’m Susan Dey’s condolences.

I'm Shirley MacLaine's sharp lips.

I am Linda Evans’ shoulder pads.

I'm Jane Fonda's fine-tuned plastic surgery.

I'm Sigourney Weaver's underbite.

I'm the deep-set and almost-but-not-quite symmetrical lines on either side of Tobias Menzies' face.

I'm Eminem's dead eyes.

I'm Donald Trump's STD infected anus mouth.

I'm Lawrence Chaney's hair line

I'm the bow ties I used to make myself look harmless to children so I could get close and molest them. Just ask my good friend Matt Gaetz.

I'm Mark Wahlberg's third nipple.

"Bitches like to suck it."

I'm Donald Trump's tiny hands.

We're the ears and jaw which are usually kept under wraps. We hate it when a mugshot outs us or the wind blows her hair back and exposes us.

Just focus on her glasses the way you're supposed to! Please!

As we said, we HATE the wind. And the cruelty of daylight.

I'm Donald Trump's piss-soaked cotton candy hair.

I’m the creatures from MIMIC that resemble Marjorie Taylor Greene.

I'm Norma Shearer's wonky eye!

I'm Kay Fwancis' inability to say the lettew "r".

R132, that’s reawwy wude of you. Pwease don’t wepeat that.

R127 She looks just like Margaret Hamilton in profile.

I am Walton Goggins's TEETH. It's all I can see when he's onscreen.

I am Sarah Paulson's elusive come andngo lisp. Hate her.

I'm Penelope Cruz' hawk nose, despite having the one the most brilliant, beautiful eyes on an actress.

*having the most

I am Meryl Streep's long witch nose.

R134, is that your work in the Miss Gulch thread? If so, good job!

R139 The resemblance is uncanny.

I'm the lack of space between Penelope Cruz's nose and upper lip.

Tom Petty's piranha mouth

I'm Hilary Swank's tombstone teeth.

Ali Larter's rabbit teeth

I'm Renee Zellweger's squint!

I'm Ezra Miller's hideous toes.

I'm Daniel Craig's majestic ears and, yes, I do nibble myself.

Prince Harry’s beady, close-set eyes

Jon Hamm’s (rumored to be) huge dick

Tommy Girl’s actual height without shoe lifts

Britney’s vacant eyes and crazy face

I’m Keira Knightly’s clenched jaw.

I'm Colin Farrell's soulful eyes.

I'm Halle Berry's perfect symmetry.

I'm Michelle Pfeiffer's natural grace.

I've always loathed Roger Howarth and every character he has played. On GH now he looks like a fucking corpse and his huge monkey ears literally make me vomit a lil every time he shows his ugly monkey mug.

I'm the lush double row of eyelashes on Elizabeth Taylor and Tyrone Power.

I'm Chrissy Teigen's Thomas the Tank Engine face.

I am Tommy Flanagan's Glasgow smile

I'm Aaron Eckhart's butt chin.

I'm Sarah Jessica Parker's mane

I'm the jawbreaker in Cher's mouth that she's been sucking on since the 70s.

I'm Mindy Cohn's laughing Buddha eyes.

I'm Lisa Whelchel's eternal youth.

I'm Don Jr's weak chin.

I am Brian Bloom's eyes. Nothing more needs to be said.

R161 Second that. Just dreamy.

I am the bags under Don Lemon's eyes.

I am the lack of a proper chin, haunting both Dorothy Kilgallen and Cynthia Nixon.

I'm the bottom half of most Brit bitches face that is usually missing due to genetic defects and inbreeding.

I'm the completely natural grace, poise and charm of Don Jr.

I'm baby mushroom dicks that all the Trump men possess.

I'm Dakota Johnson's scraggly, natural teeth and undereye bags.

And I am Taylor Swift's freaky veneers.

I'm Steve Harvey, the most repulsive man alive, whose cave-man politics make me insufferable. My face looks like a real life Mr Potato Head.

I’m Jared Kushner’s penciled on eyebrows. I’m doing a drag show tonight.

I'm Justine Bateman's gracefully aging skin.

I am Nene Leakes flapping bottom lip that shows all her bottom teefs.

I’m Jennifer Saunders’ frozen/paralyzed upper lip

I’m Russell Crowe’s wonky eye.

R141 and I’m the way too much space between Jamie Lee Curtis’s nose and no lips.

Meantime someone fill me in on what they mean by Goop’s scalp transplant?

Shall be the perfection of Caitlyn.

I’m Merle Oberon’s exquisitely large fivehead…

I'm Armie Hammer's diet.

I'm Nicki Minaj's huge repulsive black ass that she uses to rub against everything and everyone and makes it all smell like shit!

I'm Caitlyn Jenner's penis.

I'm Kimberly Guilgoyle's enthusiasm.

R180, I feel sorry for the bear with all that vag juice on his leg🤮

I’m Rhianna’s big, bulbous forehead.

I’m Chrissy Teigen’s new eyebrows.

I'm James van der Beek's forehead, so huge you could project films in Cinemascope onto it.

Can't think of anything,

I'm the three-inch tall soles on Robert Downey Jr.'s sneakers.

I am Joan Crawford's gross tonnage of make-up.

I am Veronica Lake's hair.

I am Tom Daley's eager-beaver facial expressions.

I am also his smackable butt.

Regarding Tom Selleck’s facial mannerisms, I chuckled at your reminding me. I witnessed that trait many times but the first time I met his dad I nearly laughed out loud at how similar their faces were.

Tom is a wonderful guy whom I witnessed going from bit jobs on various tv to superstardom. And a nice man throughout.

I was his art dealer during his Hawai’i filming days. He became a passionate collector of some wonderful artworks including Luigi Kasimir etchings. He gifted his cast mates, crew and his family with Kasimirs three years running). His gifts grew more extravagant after a huge pay increase - that year he switched gifts from artwork to Ferraris for his costars.

I am still friends with people I met thru Tom including his Manager, agents, publicists and the guy who created Magnum, Don Bellisario. Don asked me to play the organ for his wedding held at his house.

I kept my gallery opened late since we were located next to the hottest Italian restaurant in Brentwood that was often frequently filled with famous faces. Thus, It was a no brainer to keep the gallery late. After a great meal and plenty of wine you might be surprised how much art can be sold at 1am.

Tom was always being set up with the “bimbo of the moment” as his manager, Betty used to call them. He would often bring them to the gallery since he knew I would entertain his date. They were always clingy and fake and he would just roll his eyes at me.

Later, Tom was in London doing a play for a bit and upon his return he came in one night very happy. He excitedly told me about the girl he met during the play. “She is the one” he said. He proudly showed me her pic. Jilly was/is the polar opposite of the empty headed starlet. Not conventionally beautiful but stunning in many other ways plus a wonderful personality. They just were perfect together. I was and am quite happy for Tom. The first time Tom brought Jilly to the gallery she.gave me a huge hug and kiss saying “Tom said I will love you and I do!” I was surprised but instantly fell in love with her and her slightly Cockney demeanor. I was pleasantly shocked at how perfect they are together. Jilly doesn’t take Tom seriously, which was what he needed - someone to see thru his shit.

For their wedding my husband and I shared how similar our meeting was to their own. We instantly knew we would spend our lives together. J & T had the same experience — that same spark and deep love.

I must write them. I haven’t since that mini-scandal Tom had over water for his Avocado farm when I declared Tom was going to “water jail”. He called me a bitch.

Great guy, that Tom Selleck.

I'm Tammy's center front tooth.

I'm that forehead mole on the otherwise radiantly beautiful Marion Cotillard.

I'm Anya Taylor-Joy's eyes.

We miss each other since we're so far apart.

I'm the large papercut on Kenneth Branagh's face, otherwise known as his mouth.

^very clever

Aren't you forgetting me, and my nose, my teeth, my mouth, my jaw, and even my chin? Some could even argue I'm the original "dropped pie" face.

^for R71

Pics, people! These posts are useless without pics!

I’m Courteney Cox’s big stick out ears - because she needed to have one flaw.