Mario Lopez Parades his Package Around for Halloween

No, just no. So dated.

Starting his sons out young and teaching them to be narcissists. You know what they say: Like father like son.

Is that bulge padded?

Mario doing it is one thing. But including the son is just weird.

He looks like Roy Orbison with a Baywatch body

No calves.

Did he wrap his dick in gauze about 40 times?

The older he gets the more Asian he looks in the face. He needs to lay off the stretching and lifting.

Can we send him out in a boat with Madonna?

Two old whores that won't let go

He missed the boat on not being gay.

[quote]Did he wrap his dick in gauze about 40 times?

Wonder Bread r7, Wonder Bread.

3 slices. 4 if it's cold out.

On one hand: bitch looks GOOD. On the other hand: I’d like to not need this kind of validation when I’m pushing 50. On the other other hand: aging men need fitness role models, too. I’m very conflicted.

But I have always found him so oddly unsexy for someone with such a handsome face and killer body.

He's too thin. I was a low body fat young stud. I was even bi in college. An old girlfriend met me in my 40s and said it's good I got hunky because "a mature man needs some meat on his body".

Why do a parody if you can't afford the rights to the actual song?

[Quote] Why do a parody if you can't afford the rights to the actual song?

I think the song was included in the actual broadcast.

R13 there is plenty of meat on his body, I think you mean fat. None of us need fat.

He must be hung like a bullet train.

That's what's odd about muscle bros. Hunky looking but the low body fat means you are really thin.

If that makes sense.

That Risky Business attempt was pretty graceless & clumsy.

Yeah, he has a great body for a 48 year old, but he was dancing like he has a touch of arthritis.

Mm. Probably shouldn’t have done this with the kid, but Mario still looks hot. Anybody who has a problem with his package, I’d be glad to help Mario hide it from you.

His face always looked a little busted to me, and it’s getting worse as he gets older.

Are those Depends for Men ?

What movie did you say that was from? Sorry, Boomer, never heard of it.

Fun fact: Tom Cruise did NOT wear Ray-Bans in the original scene. Most people mis-remember it. The Mandela effect again?

Lopez shoots ropes of warm, mozzarella-like semen! News at 11.

Hot body, but never could stand that weird face. Minimal talent who has done well.

I love that they were too cheap to pay for the real song.

Remember when Mario was in public in his underwear because he "lost a bet with a friend"?

Sure, Jan.

I tuned in for the package and I feel cheated. Not that it wasn't a fine package, but we barely got a good look at it.

[quote] That Risky Business attempt was pretty graceless & clumsy. Yeah, he has a great body for a 48 year old, but he was dancing like he has a touch of arthritis.

The original is graceless and clumsy. He's parodying bad dancing.

Why hasn't Mario been cancelled for being a rapist yet?

The flex/attention whoring of recreating the Tom Cruise scene doesn't bother me at all. I'd flaunt my 48 year old body if it looked like that (if I had a chance). But, the kid? No, just, no.

She’s thirsty.

And including the kid reminds me of Carlos Danger. It’s icky.

[quote] And including the kid reminds me of Carlos Danger. It’s icky.

What if they were going swimming? Would that be "icky" too? The "icky" part is what you read read into it. You're a pervert.

The point of Cruise in his tighty-whities was for the sex appeal, r34. At least a swimsuit wouldn't have been so blatant.

It's cute when a teenage character does it. Though of course now that would be impossible.

big package...

a rapist and a trumpie

[quote] [R13] there is plenty of meat on his body, I think you mean fat. None of us need fat.

We do if we want our faces to look good when we're past 45.

Better body than Cruise, and somehow even gayer.

[quote] The point of Cruise in his tighty-whities was for the sex appeal, [R34]. At least a swimsuit wouldn't have been so blatant.

If he danced in tight jeans or short shorts. You could make the same argument. Parents swim (in public) with their children dressed in swimsuits all of the time. Its only "icky"; if you choose to read "icky" into it.

It's not like JonBenet talking around the house in a thong and pasties.

In "Risky Business," Tom Cruise had his shit buttoned and only showing a glimpse of his tighty whiteys. Why is Lopez's shirt unbuttoned? Lopez looks obnoxious and desperately seeking attention.

One trick pony

R37 "Ellen is the only person who can get me to take off my clothes."

Apparently, he knows a lot of Ellens.

Well, it's sad what he's had to reduce himself to in order to remain relevant.

Substitute a girl that age in panties and get back to me, r41.

You guys are picky. I’d hit it I don’t care.

He’s a giver. I like that.

Mario Lopez has always been too vanilla to be sexy.

Is his dad still pimping him?

😍

Doing what he does best.

Good grief, trans are still in an uproar over something he said and later apologized for YEARS AGO. Let it go already!

Well, now we know that the multi-year western drought has come from Miss Lopez lying on her back sucking the moisture out of every cloud that has hazarded by.

Keep her thirst away from the Great Lakes or there won't be anything but desiccated lampreys and the Edward Fitzgerald on the crusty bottom.

I think he's beginning to think it's still 1983..

Still fuckable.

I want to take a bite out of his full sized candy bar

So desperate. Ugh. Latinos.

[quote]Tom Cruise had his shit buttoned

Pics please.

R58

please. White faggot instahos that you all fawn over are 100x more thirsty.

[quote] Good grief, trans are still in an uproar over something he said and later apologized for YEARS AGO. Let it go already!

They hold their grudges pathologically, just like their fixation of being the opposite sex.

[quote]Tom Cruise had his shit buttoned

Tom taking his dumps to the Chinese laundry is so on brand.

Is he Mayan or something?

Not hawt.

has lopez ever done a full on soft core porn sex scene in anything he has ever done? just wondering...

I worked on that new Saved by the Bell series and the tranny kid on it is tragic. He's a really young kid that they have dressed up in hooker heels, with a big blonde wig, and plastic mini skirts. It's just disturbing. I overheard some extras talking about how "problematic" Mario Lopez is but they also didn't even know exactly what he said. They just knew that internet headlines were calling him "transphobic." Fucking exhausting.

This is how you do it...

Leave it to Ricky to put a modern spin on it with boxer briefs!

[quote]He's too thin.

Only in America.

You must be the size of the truck R13. Are you rolled out of bed by your Feeder?

Sol Lopez is uncut right? He was born in Mexico.

Saying that a super-hot brown-skin man is a Trumper is a very serious charge. Please provide receipts.

r69 He was born in San Diego.

Celebrity Hispanic manwhores imitating Tom Cruise.

Viejo puta.

He pings…big time.

I’d choke on his Chalupa any day.

He really just has ended up being another Hollywood ass-clown.

His performance as Greg Louganis was so bad, I don’t think that I’ve ever really forgiven him…

Now, I think he's gay. Especially that move where he's on his back on the couch, knees in, kicking his feet. I realize that's probably what Tom Cruise did on Oprah, but still.

Also, good thighs, but I think he is camouflaging his calves with the socks being pulled up so high. If he had better calves, he would have pulled those socks down lower.

Mario's career peaked with Saved By The Bell. He's always on TV hosting a talk show or game show. Just like Alfonso Ribeiro, another beefcake who's career peaked with Fresh Prince. Though to give Alfonso credit, he was a talented comedic actor and he can dance and played a younger version of Michael Jackson. Mario on the other hand, has no talent and his botoxed face is so punchable. Seems completely phony and phony too. Mark-Paul Gosselaar had a better career being in a few hit shows (NYPD Blue and Franklin & Bash) which is helped the fact Mark-Paul can actually act.

[quote]That's what's odd about muscle bros. Hunky looking but the low body fat means you are really thin. If that makes sense.

I THINK I know what you mean, but you don't seem to have the words to express it clearly.

He always seemed gay even on Saved By The Bell. In fact, you could read his character A.C. Slater as a closeted gay jock with all of his macho and sexist talk as a front. He was secretly in love with Zack rather Kelly hence his obsession with keeping her away from him. Jessie was just a beard.

The writers should have used that in the reboot. Though Mario would never agree to it.

Slater and Zack were two of the most obnoxious jerks ever on a kid’s show, yet they were portrayed as the good guys.

I seem to be the only person in the world who remembers this or ever talks about it, but I very clearly recall that, many years ago, Mario had a disturbingly homophobic moment on a talk show. What happened was that a male celebrity guest on the show made some sort of joke about being attracted to Mario, and the turd replied something like, "Maybe you'd like my fist in your face?" -- but he delivered the line as sort of a throwaway and immediately went on to something else, so I guess that's why it didn't register with a lot of people. But I sure do remember it, and at the time, my reaction was: "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

Because the writers of SBTB were Reagan era conservatives. Zack and Slater were rich and attractive athletes, so "good" despite the fact both could be bullies. Jessie the feminist usually had valid points though she was portrayed as annoying, shrewish and in the wrong. While Kelly the super girly and nice one was portrayed as the better of the two. Very reminiscent of John Hughes who liked to portray spoiled, rude and obnoxious privileged rich kids as heroes in his teen movies. While nerds, minorities and strong-willed women were the "bad guys".

So glad I never watched Saved by the Bell.

Not gay, total douche, used to fuck my friend Aubrey, she said he has a big one and knows how to use it.

Well, R86, he could ALSO have gay thoughts and be terrified of them, hence his homophobia.

He's like Dean Cain. Loves the attention and money from gay men because of vanity and ego. But still hates them.

Would be considered Hollywood C-List, or Hollywood D-List?

[Quote] Not gay, total douche, used to fuck my friend Aubrey, she said he has a big one and knows how to use it.

R86 More info please, details! What are we talking about in terms of inches? Ask Aubrey!

[Quote] has lopez ever done a full on soft core porn sex scene in anything he has ever done? just wondering...

Yes he has, in a terrible movie called “The Journey: Absolution”. Clip is worth checking out, he gets a boner through his boxer briefs in it!

No boner, queen. You're imagining it. Barely side butt.

R92 Boner in the boxer briefs is visible at 0:34 seconds and close up shot at 0:47 seconds

I thought that Dean Cain was known as a big closet case?

Wow, watched the video and it was super cringe. And not too smooth. But if I was his son, I’d be turned on, and not know exactly why. Too much sexual confusion for a little boy.

[quote]Mario's career peaked with Saved By The Bell.

But he's making a lot more money now than he did then. I think it was pretty clear, even to him, that he wasn't going to have a big acting career.

Every time I check into a hotel, he's the first thing I see when I turn on the teevee, hawking way overpriced bad movies that I wouldn't have paid full price for in a theatre. He's way too "on" and dimply fresh, I just want to throw something at the teevee.

I think he's wearing a Steve Grand bikini with inflatable pouch.

In that SBTB photo he looks like a trans Zendaya.

I think hell must be having to make witty banter on air with a co-host with whom you have no chemistry.

I call gay.

Mario on the other hand, has no talent and his botoxed face is so punchable....

And action figure body by HGH!

Yikes that video is awful. He’s clumsy and not too smooth, and uses the “F” word. Just terrible. But if I was his son I’d be strangely turned on. Although it’s very sexually confusing for a young boy.

Nice package

^^^ I see no VPL

[quote] Now, I think he's gay. Especially that move where he's on his back on the couch, knees in, kicking his feet. I realize that's probably what Tom Cruise did on Oprah, but still.

Cruise did it in "Risky Business" in the scene he's imitating. So, not a gay thing he's adding/

[quote] Now, I think he's gay. Especially that move where he's on his back on the couch, knees in, kicking his feet. I realize that's probably what Tom Cruise did on Oprah, but still.

You think this whole thing is a parody of what Tom Cruise did on Oprah’s couch?

[Quote] ^^^ I see no VPL

R103 here’s one from the same beach session. Mario was freeballing for the cameras.

^^^looks very, very small…unless I’m missing something.

[quote]So Lopez is uncut right? He was born in Mexico.

R69. Yes, Mario's penis is intact as is his son's. Mario was born in San Diego, California.

I bet Wilmer Valderrama has a bigger one than Mario Lopez.

Is that a commercial for Depends?

NAMBLA in the thread.

He’s uncut. Just no.

Ok, who has the dick pic?

Mario discussed him and his son being intact on his reality show a few years ago. He's very proud of it and doesn't believe in mutilation.

So everyone on Saved By the Bell was uncut?

He's no Gayle King.

I like mijos style.

Schtuped By The Bell

Miss Lopez is a bottom R118!

R118’s photo made me bark out an ugly snort-laugh. So stupidly funny. Love it.

R69 - Uncut. He’s spoken out about it.

You can have him.

Stank. Sleeve.

He should do an infomercial/tutorial video on how he cleans his uncut dick and washes his foreskin. It can then play on the hotel TVs after his movie shilling segment ends.

His Halloween costume circa 2007. Some things never change.

Can't wait until Christmas!!

Way too on is a perfect way to describe him, r97. He's very hot but a total preening narcissist. He's a hot version of Ryan Seacrest.

In the old days we would have called him an exhibitionist.

I've literally had him and that is a super fake peen you're looking at folks

R69 yes uncut

R123 - don’t uncut men believe they are maintenance-free and self-cleaning? No tutorial necessary.

For some reason I had it in my mind that this guy was guy. Not that I'm really familiar with him, though.

He’s quite effeminate.

She's all cake and no cock.

Exhibitionist indeed. Lots of flopping in his gym shorts and a nice bulge at the end when he’s with his dad. Definitely not wearing any underwear.

More Exhibitionism: Commando Jogging Session featuring Mario’s swinging meat

Exhibitionist Exhibit #3: Freeballing Cycling

Pay close attention when he gets off the bike and walks with it. Cock and family jewels are dangling. Also some shots of his shorts hugging his ass.

So much floppage in those videos

Republican Trump Supporter.

I know he’s cheesy and a complete douche, but he’s been my celebrity crush for YEARS since I was a young gayling.

Still hot to death

Forget his uncut status, does he willingly bottom?

King

[quote]Forget his uncut status, does he willingly bottom?

I don't want to forget it. His intact status is very appealing.

He's one Restalyn injection from turning into PSY and going Gangnam Style.