Outstanding caks you make

I don't care how good your cak or graxy might be, it isn't worth a pin in the ass!

Are Caks homosexual cakes?

One Christmas I made several Buche de Noel for family members. It was a lot of work, but looked fabulous, right down to the meringue mushrooms. Actually, it was fun too.

I've always wanted to try one of those R3. What recipe did you use?

[quote] Greg I've blocked you so feel free to pass this one up.

Never would I! It's not all about you, Karen. You spent two days making a cake and still find the time to come on here and act all cunty and proud? Walk tall, little man.

My dump cakes bring all the boys to the yard!

OP, pins go in the cake slices you feed to children on Halloween, not in your ass.

I make a chocolate cake that uses mayonnaise. It’s similar to a famous “blackout cake”. It’s very dark and moist and not too sweet, like the cookie part of an Oreo.

Someone please pass my sweet regards on to OP. I miss him so much.

Interesting R8. Do you frost it?

My carrot cake with cream cheese frosting is pretty damn good. Easy as well.

I made this pumpkin cake last weekend and it was excellent. The orange zest in the cake and frosting really made it amazing.

I make a sixteen layer chocolate-almond truffle torte. When I bring it to the table to slice, we all chant how many pounds of chocolate, how many pounds of butter, how many cups of heavy cream, etc went into it. It get cut into very thin slices because it's more than incredibly rich - and yet, I've had some guys come back for seconds. I have no idea how they can handle that much of it.

Pound Cake

Hungarian Esterhazy torte. I make it every year for my mother’s birthday and it’s a hit with everybody.

R2 I believe "CAKS" is the plurality of penis to a Wisconsite.

My Carrot Cake is always well-received, it includes a cooked filling(thank you, Steve Poses) between the layers. Works equally well as a sheet cake or cupcakes.

Welsh Seed Cake is a rich, dense and not too sweet pound cake, flavored with chopped candied orange peel and caraway seeds that have been soaked in orange liqueur. Great with coffee or tea.

Tomato Soup Cake(Shut up!) for Thanksgiving and Christmas. A toothsome spice cake with raisins, candied peel and nuts(not too much of these so the cake itself can be enjoyed)

My husband's aunt was famous for her Chocolate Upside-Down Cake. Delicious, decadent and easy to put together, even as a last minute dessert. It is served right out of the oven, topped with vanilla ice cream.

The first time my husband took me to meet his folks his mom gave me the recipe for her Wacky Cake, I think she knew I was going to be the new 'daughter-in-law.' It goes by other names: Lightning Cake, Quicksilver Cake, One-Bowl Cake, etc. Quick and easy with plenty of chocolate flavor, and gets better after a few days.

R10, usually I use a cooked chocolate frosting that’s like pudding, to keep the “blackout cake” thing happening. So delicious. But I’ve used a poor man’s whipped cream vanilla frosting that makes it like a whoopie pie.

R4: I used the recipe from Julia Child’s “Mastering the Art of French Cooking.” Can’t remember offhand which volume (1or2) it’s in. He recipe is very detailed and pretty, easy to follow.

My banana cake is moist and delicious!

A thread designed to separate the old-timers from the newbies.

"No one bakes a cake as tasty as a Tastykake!"

I've never made a cak. I should try it sometime.

[quote]Are Caks homosexual cakes?

So naïve!

It's almost adorable.

You all know what I made.

I want to make a decent vanilla cake to layer with ermine (aka poor man's buttercream) frosting and raspberries. Anyone have a good recipe for a cake to stand up to this?

R4, this version of a buche de noel has been a big success when I’ve made it. When you’re doing the white chocolate shards, spread the chocolate as thin as possible. I decorated it with a light dusting of cocoa powder and sugared mint and berries to look like mistletoe.

CAK???? That is the noise my cat makes when he has hairballs.

Los Angeles: I made a cheese cake from a very pared-down recipe from a distant second cousin (literally) 30 yrs ago for a few potluck type parties. People kept telling me it was so good I should sell it, so that's what I did. It was a small but successful operation for two years.

NYC: During quarantine I decided to re-boot the cheesecake company as a side hustle. Unlike LA, the response from the nine nearby deli's/cafes that I can deliver to on foot was lukewarm—everything in LA is easier—but I am working on it. It does sell via a social media platform/start-up, and initially they were like "We're sure it's good, but we aren't really a dessert platform. We're more into healthy meals" Then they tasted it and loved it, and it started selling. Now their tune is "This is the best chee$ecake ever!" lol.

"Pound Cake

—Sara Lee"

No!

Greg got his ass pinned so he's not having and more Cak

R30, I haven't seen pound cake at Dollar Tree in over a year. The 99 Cents store sometimes has the same brand DT used to carry ("American" something or other) in various flavors, and the price has stayed at $1 so far.

^ Actually Aldis has the best pound cake in a variety of flavors, but it's only in their "Here today, gone tomorrow" section and they sellout quick

No Aldis stores in Silicon Valley, R33. I'm jealous!

^ Really? Man, I thought you guys had everything

[quote] Greg got his ass pinned so he's not having and more Cak

Not even sure what this means. My favorite cake will be shared in a few moments.

If you don't get "cak" you are a newbie.

Greg, I want to know your favorite cake

r29 Are you a very endearing but snappish Brit, with a boyfriend who looks like Walter Matthau?

Oh hell I've made a ton of different ones. For example my favorite is the cocoa bundt cake with chocolate ganache. Then of course the famous Strawberry cake, pineapple upside down, peach upside down too. Then this one with yellow cake, crushed pineapple and oranges with a little freshly whipped cream. That one is awesome.

Easy, quick and delicious cake my mom made that's always a hit called chocolate pudding cake.

1 box of devils food cake mix 1 box of instant chocolate pudding 2 c. Whole milk Semi-sweet morsels

Mix cake mix, pudding mix and milk together. Pour into a prepped pan and sprinkle top with chocolate chips, bake at 350.

Big hit at those dreaded office potlucks.

R41, what size pan?

13x5. Bake about 30 min or the toothpick is clean. It's incredibly moist.

Ahh, that prick last night was indeed a pin in the ass.

But he made a great cake, nonetheless.

R43, do you mean 13x9? I've never seen 13 x 5.

R44 Honey if you pricked him in the ass and it came out brown it wasn't cak you were seeing.

Yes R45. My bad. 13x9.

[quote] Greg, I want to know your favorite cake

One of my favorite cakes is the French classic, Gateau Reine de Saba (Queen of Sheba cake). It is a delicious and rich chocolate almond cake.

Thanks, R47 -- I'm going to try it. Assume the pudding mix is the smaller size (~ 3 oz that calls for 2C milk), rather than the larger size (~ 5 oz that calls for 3C milk)?

Yes, small box R49.

MY specialty is a sachertorte.

GBBO has piqued my interested in meringue cakes. I’m not even sure if I care about tasting them…but the Spanische Windtorte cakes were so beautiful. Has anyone made anything similar?

I love a good cak

[R13] oh so yum, i want a slice

Back in the early 90's the Omni Hotel in the Galleria area would put out a midnight Viennese coffee and pastry spread for people coming from all the theaters. It was beautiful to look at and mouthwatering.

And let me know how your cak turns out R49.

[quote] MY specialty is a sachertorte.

I do love a Sachertorte. But I don't believe that Gregg has ever made one.

I will, R49 -- as soon as I find a Devil's Food cake mix. That particular flavor must be stuck on unloaded ships backed up in some harbor.

Wrong, Greg.

Again.

Torta di noce, Calabrian walnut cake. Easiest cake to make. Eggs, walnuts, sugar, lemon.

Spice cake with caramel fudge frosting.

[quote]My dump cakes bring all the boys to the yard!

Where they promptly take a dump.

Solo poppy seed cake with the addition of the zest of an orange and only 2/3 of the sugar in the recipe.

A cak, Frac, is made with flower and water.

[quote] Wrong, Greg. Again.

Okay. Whatever you say. It's just that your posting history shows a contempt for good food, so you can't fault my disbelief.

Oh, is Greg skulking around? I've got it blocked. His various personas are always dull. I guess he got bored with GGG?

[quote] Oh, is Greg skulking around? I've got it blocked. His various personas are always dull. I guess he got bored with GGG?

Skulking around! Oh, I like that! So, yes—I am skulking around. And I can't say that I have any feelings whatsoever about you blocking me. Seems like the thing to do for a certain type of person out here.

What I do take issue with is your saying that I have "various personas." I am just me. That's it. Dull or otherwise.

Not sure what GGG is, so I can't tell you if I've grown bored with it. Maybe!

If R41 is still around, I've got one more question: how long is the baking time? I finally found a devil's food cake mix and hope to try your mom's chocolate pudding cake this week.

I love spice cake. And a classic damp gingerbread for the holidays.

Well, I hope some of you are happy. All the negative comments and vibes about fruitcake have undermined my chances of baking this year. The standard fruitcake mix, various candied peels, cherries, pineapple etc. have been unobtainable in grocery stores this season. I've barely got enough leftover from last year to make one basic recipe. None of the store workers know what the deal is, and no one remembers even making out a order, which is usually done a month or so in advance. We routinely had just the one chance to order enough to last the entire holiday baking season. Guess I'll have to order online. Grrrr......

Not only did I always count on a supply for current holiday baking, but the after Christmas sales always afforded me some great buys to stock up for baking throughout the year. What evah' shall I do???

What's the next thing, no tomato soup?

[quote] Well, I hope some of you are happy. All the negative comments and vibes about fruitcake have undermined my chances of baking this year. The standard fruitcake mix, various candied peels, cherries, pineapple etc. have been unobtainable in grocery stores this season.

I wouldn't buy these things in a supermarket. I always order my candied peel, etc. from Nuts.com — it's a great way to order what you need and the pricing is reasonable.

Is this why people hate me? Because I try to be helpful?

Black forest cak but my cream filling wasnt as good as the ones i purchased at the german bakery.

r71 Thanks much for the heads-up, Greg. I was unsure if this stuff would be available at all this season, glad to see that everything I'd need is on their site. It all looks good, and as you noted prices are reasonable.

If I'm unable to find what I require locally I will consider trying them. I'm already overdue, my fruitcakes should be mellowing by this point.

May I ask why you wouldn't buy these items in a supermarket? I have done so for many years, and have always been satisfied with the results.

After I serve the cak at my parties, we play a game where the guests try while blindfolded to stick a pin in the ass.

Greg coming to the rescue of a fruitcake.

How surprising.

[quote] Greg coming to the rescue of a fruitcake. How surprising.

Yes, how surprising that I would try to help someone out here! It's surprising because there are so many unkind assholes out here who think it's funny to mistreat others.

[quote] May I ask why you wouldn't buy these items in a supermarket? I have done so for many years, and have always been satisfied with the results.

Hey BronzeAgeGay, nice to know that someone else appreciates the Christmas tradition of making fruitcakes. If a good recipe and quality ingredients are used, fruitcake can be delicious.

l don't purchase the candied peel, dried fruits, and glacéed fruits in my local supermarket because they don't carry it. They sell the type of fruitcake fruit linked to below, and I don't care for it.

OP, can you make also make a Cuban Pinga Cake? With white icing?

R73 - My black forest cak recipe is four layers of chocolate genoise, filled with whipped cream spiked with kirsch and sour cherries. what do you use? (My recipe was given to me by a friend. I have no idea what a “real” black forest cake is supposed to be like!)

Why do people bake cakes? Don't you have bakeries where you live? I don't bake cakes. I also don't bake bread. I don't even bake Jiffy brownies.

Everyone is different, R81, and derives pleasure from different things. That’s something I realised when I was two years old. Perhaps it’s just taken a bit longer in your case.

I will only buy Black Forest cake from the German bakery. Unfortunately, it’s a 45 minute drive from my house, so I only buy it for my partner’s birthday (it’s his favorite). They use a chocolate sponge cake soaked in kirsch with sour cherries and whipped cream.

Who decided that raspberry and chocolate go together?

R84, same weirdo who decided that orange and chocolate go together?

I once made a Betty Crocker cak and it wasn’t very good which is why I rely on my friends at the Publix bakery.

Please stop talking about that caaaaaaaaaaak.

"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" A local market just got in their supply of glaceed fruit( no citron available this year), so I will be able to make all the fruitcakes I had intended.

Making some as bundt cakes, a triple recipe to get a nice long one( I have a special loaf pan just for this) for easy slicing(it's the only one I frost, with mock fondant, and decorate with royal icing holly leaves and berries), a few in 1lb. loaf pans and will also do some cupcakes.

I am pleased I can continue this tradition that has been in my family for as long as I can remember.

My Cak puts the Cak in Bu-Cak-ee

BronzeAgeGay, I'm glad you got your glacéed fruit. If you need or want citron, I get mine from Nuts.com and it's very nice.

I'd love to have your recipe for fruitcake. Also, I'd love to know where you got your loaf pan—can you provide a link? Thanks!

r90 The recipe is my mom's version of Tomato Soup Cake. There's a decent amount of glaceed fruit, nuts and raisins in it, but with enough cake so you can appreciate the moist spiciness of it. It makes one nice size bundt cake, or you can use a standard angel food cake pan, or as my mom used to call it a 'Turk's Head' pan. It is dark and rich, a good keeper and takes well to being boozed up. I will post the recipe.

I will look on my triple-size pan and see if there is a manufacturer. I believe I bought mine here in Philly, at Fante's in the Italian Market. They are well-known for all sorts of supplies for all levels of cake baking. I was there last Saturday and their stock on many things appeared to be low or non-existent, so much so that their large display room in the rear of the store was empty and cordoned off. If I knew how to post/provide a link I'd consider myself fortunate. Never learned how. A couple of the more patient posters here have tried to tell me what to do, but I need someone watching over my shoulder.

I think I'll forego the additional citron this year, the mix I bought seems to have enough in it to suit me.

Hey Greg, the triple loaf pan is made by WEAR-EVER. On the bottom of the pan is the company's name and the words MADE IN USA within an etched rectangle. The number 2769 appears above the rectangle. The recipe for the triple pan is actually 2.5 times my mom's standard recipe, and will make make TWO triples or ONE triple and THREE standard loaf pans, or SIX standard loaf pans. I would suggest using a stand mixer as this is a lot of batter:

-Cream thoroughly 5 sticks of butter(my mom used margarine) and 675 grams of granulated sugar.

-Make a well in the middle of the creamed mixture and pour in 2 and 1/2 cans of condensed tomato soup(the 10 oz size), stir 2 tsps. baking soda into the soup. Let it sit one minute, the soup will bubble up. Blend well to combine. Mixture will be curdled but don't worry.

-Measure out and sift three times: 700 grams A-P flour, 5 tsps. ground cinnamon, 2 and 1/2 tsps. ground cloves, 1 and 1/4 tsps. salt and 1 TBSP baking soda. Reserve 2 TBSPS. of this dry mixture, then add the rest to the wet ingredients alternately with 1 and 1/4 cups of milk(add a few drops of vanilla if desired). The color of the batter will be a salmon-y pink.

-Toss the 2 TBSPS. reserved flour mixture with: 400 grams mixed candied peels, 250 grams of raisins and 100 grams chopped nuts( I prefer walnuts, but pecans can be used) Fold this mixture thoroughly into the batter.

-Spoon batter into the triple pan(remember, this makes TWO) which has been greased well, lined bottom and sides with parchment paper, greased again then floured. If using standard loaf pans( I use the disposable ones, some come with clear plastic lids) a thorough greasing and flouring is sufficient, no parchment paper is needed. Level the batter, slightly higher at the sides and ends.

-Bake the triple @ 350℉ for approx. 1 hour and 25 minutes, test for doneness with a wooden skewer. Bake the loaf pans for approx. 65 minutes, same temp.

-When baked remove the loaf pans to a rack and let cool completely, you can leave them in the pans. The triple should sit in its pan on a rack for 20 minutes(in order to firm up) then turn out onto a rack and cool completely. Wrap tightly in parchment paper so it keeps its shape, then plastic wrap it. Store the triple in a large plastic bag, the loaf pans can go into one gallon freezer Ziplocs.

-I use those wettable cake strips on the outside of the triple pan, so the cake bakes to a uniform height.

Ta Da!

Here's the Fante website, Greg and Bronzie. The store is a wonder to behold.

Nana's Devil's Food Cake, a classic recipe.

r93 Fante's was always a Fantasy Land for anyone who cooked or baked. I first got to know the place when I became interested in cake decorating. My grandmother told me about the place and I was hooked after my first visit. You could easily spend an hour or two there, and wind up spending a mortgage payment or two because there are so many interesting things you simply MUST have.

I hope the store can return to its previous heights, it'd be a shame to lose such a resource.

Thanks for sharing your recipe, Bronzie. And thanks for the link to the Fante website, R93.

lol at r87 and it is perfectly timed as reply number 87. I like obscure references and that certainly is one.