Let's be things from "Seinfeld" episodes

I'm sponge. And you're not spongeworthy!

I’m spongeworthy.

Seriously, R1?

I'm Fusilli Jerry. And I'll end up inside Frank Costanza's rectum.

I'm bro. Or "manssiere", if you find "bro" too ethnic.

Newman's fleas.

I’m the art book that George takes into the bathroom at Brentano’s.

I'm food shelf manager Rebecca DeMornay.

I've never been able to understand why they didn't call it the Bro-ssiere, R5.

That chocolate babka came from Brown's bakery in North Hollywood. My mother used to get a couple of them to freeze for when the neighbors came over for coffee. The babka was really good and so was their rye bread and bagels. I loved that bakery.

"They call them cups. You got the A, then the B...." - George's dad preparing him for a bra salesperson interview.

I've always said the Costanzas should have had their own spin off.

I'm Elaine's diaphragm; I went sliding across the coffee table.

I'm the marble rye that Jerry steals from the old lady.

I'm the master of my domain.

[quote] And I'll end up inside Frank Costanza's rectum.

I’m the million to one shot it takes for this to happen.

I'm the Assman.

I'm JPS from GH mesmerized by "Desperado".

"I’m the art book that George takes into the bathroom at Brentano’s."

And I'm Rebecca DeMornay (again), threatening to jump over the counter and punch George in the brain for trying to pass off his nasty bathroom book as new.

I'm the "thing" that gets taken out in the car at the end of Elaine's date.

I’m the Tweety Bird Pez dispenser sitting on Elaine’s purse that nearly ruins a piano recital and a relationship. I clap at the end of the recital, though.

I'm the dingo that ate the woman's baby.

I'm certainly NOT the sofa that Poppie sat on and it's not dry anymore.

I am the AIDS ribbon and by fucking god you WILL wear me

I'm the 'Kenny Roasters' sign that keeps Kramer awake.

I'm Kramer's [italic]The Coffee Table Book Of Coffee Tables[/italic]. I also convert into a mini coffee table.

And I'm the coffee he spits all over Kathy Lee Gifford!

I'm Puddy, "the man Elaine is currently sleeping with" and recovering germophobe (10 years). Peggy is appreciative that Elaine has brought me over to talk to Peggy in the hospital.

I'm Vegetable Lasagna.

I'm the muffin stumps. To make a great muffin top, you have to make the whole muffin, pop the top, and discard me. You can't just make the top.

I'm the black and white cookie.

I’m the homeless still pissed off at r29.

I’m the puffy coat.

I'm the Tupperware and with a piece of Tupperware you just assume!

I’m the rat hat from Bob Saccamano for 40 bucks.

The difference between me and sable is negligible.

I'm Lenore Sokol, my lovely daughter Susi dated George briefly. He was so CHEAP he took my daughter out for dinner to McDonalds.

I'm Johnny Carson's old set.

No R36, you're my old set!

I'm the toothbrush that fell in the toilet.

I'm the nipple on Elaine's Christmas card.

I’m Elaine’s nephew. Don’t ask me why you can’t find r39. I don’t know.

I'm Elaine's immaculate hair. You can serve dinner on it.

I’m the pen George left at home because he’s afraid of puncturing his scrotum.

I am thickly drawn sharpied eyebrows

I'm the rollaway bed Jerry brings over for his lady friend who's staying overnight with him.

I’m all of these bologna sandwiches.

I have no idea what Mrs. Costanza is going to do with me.

I took it out.

I'm Claire and I work at Pete's You'll see me once and never again.

I’m Courtney Cox’s breasts. I’m real and I’m FABULOUS.

I'm Puddy's hairy chest, taunting you bitches to a watch a TV show you wouldn't look at twice without me.

I'm Mulva.

^ That was Teri Hatcher's breasts, R48.

Meanwhile, I am Terri Hatcher's breasts and *I * am real and fabulous

No, you’re spectacular

I'm the big salad that George paid for!

I am older, they've been downgraded

I'm the red dot on the cashmere sweater George bought for Elaine.

[quote]I’m Courtney Cox’s breasts. I’m real and I’m FABULOUS.

That was Teri Hatcher.

I am shrinkage. It was COLD

I'm the pastry that George fished out of the garbage can, ready to eat me. I was mortified!

I'm Karl Farbman.

I'm the postage stamps that killed George's fiance.

I’m the mutton. Mmmmmm, MUTTON. I hope you didn’t cut the fat off!

I'm JFK Jr deflowering Marla the Virgin.

I'm the Glamour magazine that George uses to please himself before his horrified mother catches him.

I'm "the swirl." Puddy has ruined me.

I'm Elaine's dancing style, AKA: spastic kicks and two thumbs up!

Oopsie

I’m the Wiz and nobody beats me!

I am the bubbleboy

I'm beefarino.

I am the love letters from John Cheever to Susan’s father that were hidden at the cabin. The aunt in the wheelchair knew about him from the beginning.

I'm the soup Nazi.

I'm Rusty the farting carriage horse.

I’m huge.

I'm the Man Hands

I’m pastrami, the most sensuous of all the smoked meats.

I’m the 8-Ball on Puddy’s jacket: all signs point to yes.

I’m Bosco, George’s ATM password.

I’m “Jerry Seinfeld is the Devil,” Sally Weaver’s performance piece.

I’m an UNVITATION.

I'm Jon Voigt's car!

I'm Jerry's pressed blue jeans. Sometimes there's a hint of VPL.

I'm the later dinner hour in the retirement home, AFTER 6:00. You can have dinner at my time, but it's unheard of!

I'm the Queen of Confrontation.

I am the dangling Twix.

I’m the beltless trenchcoat. Morty Seinfeld invented me.

I am the WALL of hair on the front of the head the method actress playing Elaine in the sitcom pilot "Jerry."

HIGHER! I must be HIGHER!

I'm the bar underneath the mattress in the sofabed owned by Jerry's parents.

I am the pen the astronauts use. I write even upside down.

[quote]I'm the postage stamps that killed George's fiance.

Envelopes, not postage stamps.

Fiancée, not fiance.

I'm Uncle Leo

I'm the amusement park that George treated his body like.

I'm JFK, Jr., and I was supposed to be inaugurated as vice-president today.

I'm the close talker played by Judge Reinhold, who got an Emmy nomination for the role.

I'm the eyebrows Elaine draws on Uncle Leo in the hospital that make him look incredibly angry.

I'm J. Peterman, the owner of the J. Peterman catalog/company. I once fell under the spell of Opium (or Yam Yam in Burmese). Elaine failed a drug test, testing positive for opium and I fired her and told her to get help.

Also, that bra top that I saw Sue Ellen Mischke is brilliant and I've decided to include it in my new catalog.

I am Junior Mint, rejected by Jerry and catapulted into the air, landing in the abdominal cavity of Elaine’s formerly fat ex. Who’s going to turn down a junior mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint, it’s delicious. It’s very refreshing.

I’m the poisonous wedding invitations.

I'm the actor who played J. Peterman and later became a vocal Trump supporter. Fuck him wherever he is now looking for work.

I'm the blue plate special.

I'm George's fiancee's doll who looks like George's mother.

I'm every hot chick getting rejected by four* of the ugliest men in NYC.

I'm public urination.

I'm not a square to spare.

I’m the extra 5 cents to recycle bottles and cans in Michigan.

I'm George doing the opposite.

I'm the urban sombrero.

I'm the pigeons George kills with the car. George thought humans had a deal with us.

Giddy up

I'm the garbage disposal Puddy helped Kramer install in his bathtub. I'm also the broken pricing gun Kramer (as A.G. Pennypacker) used to (unsuccessfully) help Elaine put Putomayo out of business.

I fucking love this show.

I'm the worlds ugliest shoes from Botticelli's.

I'm the look that should be me looking at him about YOU!

I'm the second spitter.

I'm uromycistysis

I'm the bad haircut.

I'm also Mulva.

And I'm the rental car reservation that can be made but not kept.

I'm JFK's golf clubs.

I'm also the slice of the Duke of Windsor's wedding cake that Elaine ate.

I'm also the golf ball lodged in the whale's spout.

I'm the $1200 jacket with the pink and white candy-stripe lining.

I'm also the Baybeeeeee!

I'm the high talker.

I'm also the Virgin.

I'm the re-gifted label maker. No one loves me.

I'm the Jujyfruits Elaine bought after hearing Jake Jarmel was in an accident.

I'm the $500 worth of triangles George buys.

I'm the pudding skin singles that George plans to sell.

I hate men but I'm not a lesbian!

"IS ANYONE HERE A MARINE BIOLOGIST?"

And I'm going to a lesbian wedding, but I'm not a lesbian!

I'm the dresser. I was designed by Karl Fargman.

I am Puddy's car radio buttons all programmed to Jesus stations.

I'm Little Jerry Seinfeld

I'm Soda and Buck Naked

I am the socks Elaine must purchase for Mr Pitt.

I am the flinty voice you will never forget.

I am all the orgasms Elaine faked with Jerry.

Fake! Fake! Fake! Fake!

I'm the bellybutton with the funny voice: "Helloooo... la, la, la"

I'm Bookman, library detective, and if you think you're gonna get away with that copy of Tropic of Cancer, you got another thing coming, joy boy!

I'm Art Vandalay.

I'm a Snickers bar being eaten with a knife and fork.

I'm definitely not "Suze"!

I'm the muffin tops.

I'm Queen of the Castle.

I'm also the pirated film.

I'm also the Clown.

I'm people you'll never understand. I'm the worst!

I'm Rochelle, Rochelle. Nothing's going to stop me so get out of my face!

And I am a young girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk!

I'm the Moops, Bubble Boy's nemesis.

r140 [with the dreadful American Music] oh dear.

I'm Raquel Ochmonek pretending to be Jerry's mother.

[with the dreadful American Music]

oh dear

[quote] oh dear

what

I'm not gay! Not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'm the Hudson River that Kramer woke up in.

I'm the Kavorka!

I'm the too high button on Georges shirt. I bookend the entire series.

I'm the crappy wheelchair Kramer bought for the handicapped woman.

R147, I'm Latvian Orthodoxy, a very obscure Orthodox denominations.

I'm the Festivus pole and the airing of grievances.

R93 I’m the poppyseed roll that caused Elaine’s positive drug test. POPPYSEED!

I’m Moland Springs.

I’ve yada yada’d sex.

I'm the lobster bisque, and I'm the best part of the whole damn yada yada sex.

I'm Poppy, and i don't wash my hands after i urinate. You're going to LOVE what i cooked for you!

I'm Donna Chang, duping people into thinking they're getting advice from a real Chinese woman.

"The sea was angry that day my friends..."

I'm Dr. Tim Whatley and you're an Anti-Dentite!

I'm the piece of vintage wedding cake that Elaine found in Peterman's refrigerator. "Is it still with you?" he asked Elaine. Hilarious.

I'm the exclamation point at the end of the store name Top of the Muffin to You! that irritates Elaine.

I'm the 3-D poster that stymies Mr. Pitt.

I am the extra in front of George who GOT SOUP FOR ME!

I’m Elaine’s encyclopedic knowledge of big-band records and successful identification of “Next Stop, Pottersville!” on the radio.

I'm Del Boca Vista, a retirement condominium complex where Jerry's parents Morty and Helen reside. We have the sofa pullout with the bar that fucks Elaine's back up.

[quote] I'm Uncle Leo

Hello!

I’m the Willard (note: not a Wizard) that Norman Burgerman won’t need. He won't be leavin' any tips where he is.

I'm Babu Bhatt, owner of the Dream Café.

I'm the Maestro.

I'm "the move." I feature a clockwise swirl.

I'm Elaine's medical chart, where she's labeled as "difficult".

I'm the jimmylegs!

There are more! Keep them coming!

I'm the shoelace on Jerry's sneaker. I came untied and touched the men's room floor so I'm going straight into the garbage. Oh! Hello belt.

I'm the only copy of Breakfast At Tiffany's and I've been rented.

I'm mango. I get things "moving" when they weren't. I'm a miracle fruit.

I’m Todd Gak. What is that, Dutch?

I'm the girlfriend who gets the heaveho over soup

I’m Kevin, Gene, and Feldman.

I’m the new arrival who just scrolled through this thread increasingly incredulous and delighted that at this late date I was going to get to be the Festivus Pole. I made it to r151.

I’m the ASS-MAN license plate.

I’m the Supreme Flounder.

Festivus for the rest of us, R180. i used to have a t-shirt. i do believe it was mentioned upthread though, along with the Grieving of Erronces.

I'm the slice of cake from the wedding of the Duke of Windsor and Wallis Simpson, circa 1937.

Am I still...with you?

I'm the bike hanging in Jerry's apartment. I'm really just there for show.

And I’ll be some of Jerry’s VHS tapes, of which I’ve spotted True Colors, Arachnophobia and The Hunt for Red October.

I'm that one rattan piece in Elaine's living room, which seems oddly out of place.

I'm "Hello and thank for calling Moviefone."

I'm the foul smelling mattress.

I'm also a pony country.

*thank YOU for calling moviefone

I’m the cereal boxes.

I'm the kevorka.

I'm the rickshaw brought in from Hong Kong. Mind your pace, boy!

I'm the shuffleboard court. The Costanzas are going to be all over me.

I'm Jerry's act, performed at Del Boca Vista last year. You all saw it. He's lucky he can pay his rent.

did anybody mention the "breathtatking" ugly baby yet?

I'm the board Izzy Mandelbaum wants you to sleep on. Toughens the vertebrae.

It's go time!

I’m Babs Kramer.

I'm The Chinese Restaurant. Television critics will be writing about me until the end of time, like I'm goddamn Pulp Fiction.

THAT’S Jimmy! That’s how he talks!

I'm the waitresses at Monk's that all have big ta-tas. I turn out to be the daughters of the owner.

I'm the halibut omelet. Surprised?

I’m the argument over whether “things” includes people and places.

I am the toilet paper square that can’t be spared.

I'm the poster of the Three Tenors, signed by that third guy. Not Domingo or Pavarotti, but that other one.

I'm Beth, the girlfriend who ended up being anti-semitic. (played by soon to be Will and Grace - Debra Messing). She is also an anti-Dentite.

I’m a calzone from Paisano’s.

I'm George's napping desk. I will be destroyed by that idiot Steinbrenner, and replaced by a lucite table and four legs.

I'm the air conditioner that fell out of Jerry's window.

I'm the parade of different Mac computers Jerry never uses.

I'm Sack Lunch. You'll never get to see me, or know how the people got into that paper bag.

I'm Kramer's front porch in the apartment hallway.

I'm the entire roasted chicken Elaine had to eat before visiting the bubble boy.

I'm the picture Jerry refused to sign at the diner on the trip to the Bubble Boy.

I'm manhands

or maybe I am a low talker

I'm the Puffy Shirt.

[quote] I'm the jimmylegs!

I’m the jimmyarms. Yes, you can get me in your arms too.

I'm George's toupee. Elaine doesn't like me, and here's what she's doing with me...

I'm the iron that ended George's hand modeling career.

I’m Eric the Clown.

I’m Newman. I’m home today because it’s raining.

I don’t work in the rain.

I'm Crazy Joe Davola, obsessed with Elaine.

I'm the couch grass that sent George to the emergency room in an ambulance that crashed.

I'm the drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers.

r224 - ??

I’m the “Holy Cow!” Phil Rizzuto keychain.

R225, I’m not him, but really?!

Have you ever seen the show?

Yeah, i love and watched the show over and over. i don't recall that at all...link? maybe i'm slipping lol

Bookman said delinquents like Jerry defaced library books with drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees.

r224 here. This, r225:

Well, let me tell you something, funny boy. Y'know that little stamp, the one that says ‘New York Public Library’? Well that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me. One whole hell of a lot. Sure, go ahead, laugh if you want to. I've seen your type before: Flashy, making the scene, flouting convention. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. What's this guy making such a big stink about old library books? Well, let me give you a hint, junior. Maybe we can live without libraries, people like you and me. Maybe. Sure, we're too old to change the world, but what about that kid, sitting down, opening a book, right now, in a branch at the local library and finding drawings of pee-pees and wee-wees on the Cat in the Hat and the Five Chinese Brothers? Doesn't HE deserve better? Look. If you think this is about overdue fines and missing books, you'd better think again. This is about that kid's right to read a book without getting his mind warped! Or maybe that turns you on, Seinfeld; maybe that's how you get your kicks. You and your good-time buddies. Well I got a flash for ya, joy-boy: Party time is over.

The comment is at 1:47

Thanks, r230. i didn't memorize that part. :) i do consider myself to be a Seinfeld-ese. I've been schooled! i love this show, no matter what anybody else's opinion.

I’m the armoire. I can’t be moved in today, it’s Sunday.

I’m Kramer’s car which doesn’t start in the mall parking garage. According to the script, I was supposed to start and drive away. I was tired and didn’t feel like it.

I'm one young girls erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.

I'm the Twix bar Mr. Pitt is eating with a knife and a fork.

I'm Sue Ellen Mischke, using a bra as a top.

i wish i had this on Netflix so i could have it on in my background all the time! so many great plot points!

I’m Manya’s pony. When she was a little girl in Poland, they all had ponies. Her sister had pony, her cousin had pony…

I’m a Van Buren boy.

I'm the Elaine dance.

I'm the doorknob Elaine coughed on.

I'm "The English Patient" and Elaine's hatred of it.

JUST DIE ALREADY! DIE!!

Was that wrong?

I'm a dip. Puddy's still wondering why I can't be a meal.

I'm schiksappeal.

I'm the dip George double-dips into.

I'm the bag of dirt.

Elaine could drop a Costanza like she could drop me.

I'm the Maestro.

I'm the Constanzas.

The Seinfelds never liked us. They called us exhausting, "like being in an asylum."

I'm Dr. Martin van Nostrand. I'm sometimes a dermatologist and sometimes an actor/model and Elaine's fiance. We have sex three times a week. Giddyup!

I smell like The Beach

I am Elaine's oxfords and short white socks.

I am screaming, "SHUT UP! SHUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!" at a dog yapping outside all night.

"I'm the iron that ended George's hand modeling career."

I am Ray McKigney. My hand became a gnarled, deformed mess and I was no longer master of my domain, so George inherited my hand modeling career.

I'm Even Steven.

I'm the face of George Steinbrenner. You never see me.

I'm Susan's cousin's baby Seven.

We're the stolen lobsters (and we're not Kosher).

Someone should be the fruit that can't be returned.

I'm fruit and I'm a gamble.

I’m Jerry’s kitchen cupboard. I’m full of cereal boxes.

We’re the chopsticks in George’s pretentious girlfriend’s hair.

I'm Elaine's apartment at 17 E. 7th St., NYC that she sublets from her former roommate, Tina. Although the exterior of the building shown is actually 448 Central Park W., multiple episodes reference Elaine living downtown, and the official Sony Pictures “Seinfeld” map shows the 7th St. address. Elaine gets evicted from me for buzzing up a jewel thief on Thanksgiving, buzzing up Jehovah’s Witnesses, and for using Canadian quarters in the laundry machine.

I’m the nipple on Elaine’s Christmas card.

I’m Kenny Banya’s dinner at Mendy’s.

I’m the PigMan!

I’m the mannequin guy who recognizes Al Roker eating a gyro on the 7 train.

I'm the eclair in the trash that George ate.

I'm the skinny mirrors at Barneys; we convinced Elaine to buy that hideous black dress that she returns.

I’m this, that, and the other.

I'm the little bit of lemon they added to the tuna salad at Monk's. Elaine loves me.

I'm Frank Costanza's collection of TV Guides.

I'm the inability to call someone from a car to coordinate arrival times en route to The Hamptons in the era before cell phones.

I'm Keith Hernandez, one of the 25 celebrities who had cameos on the show.

[quote] I'm Dr. Martin van Nostrand. I'm sometimes a dermatologist

Actually, you're a Juilliard trained dermatologist.

I’m Jerry’s act. I’m just so much… fluff.

I'm Raquel Welch and I'm not moving my arms while walking.

I'm non-fat frozen yogurt, that causes everybody to gain weight.

I'm pasta Primavera.

I'm the Laundry Day routine.

I’m the cigar store Indian

I'm Robert Wagner and Jill St. John as Mickey Abbott's parents.

This thread is great! I can revisit all the great moments of Seinfeld without actually having to watch it again. Thanks!

I'm Elaine's crazed effort to dump a guy at the airport.

I'm cherry binaca

I'm Elaine on painkillers yelling, "STELLLAAA!!!"

I'm Rava, a great Finnish literary talent. And all of you are jealous of the love Ray and I have for each other!

I'm Bob and Cedric, the gay ruffians.

I'm Gladys Mayo, owner of two competing Peruvian junk stores.

I'm the surprise $20 Jerry finds in his jacket pocket after Elaine throws one out the window.

I'm the copy for J.Peterman's catalog, written by Elaine's protege, Eddie: " It's a hot night. The mind races. You think about your knife: the only friend who hasn't betrayed you, the only friend who won't be dead by sunup. Sleep tight mates, in your quilted chambray night shirts."

I'm one of the cheap envelopes that was responsible for Susan's death.

I'm a Kramer girl.

I'm Kenny Bania. I've been working out. I'm huge.

I'm Kramer's dog. I appear in the pilot and am never seen again.

I'm Monya's pony. I'm beautiful and she loved me.

I'm Timmy and I won't stand for any double dipping.

I'm the butcher-boy mohel.

I'm Jerry's fake wife Courteney Cox. I get custody of the maple syrup when we break up.

I'm Olive with the back-scratching fingernails.

I'm The Baby.

R88, HELLO!!

I'm the Woody Allen movie that didn't get made because of George.

I'm the parking space that George and the jerk fought over all night.

I'm Joe and I'll ban anyone who tries to buy fruit for Kramer.

I'm the chopsticks in the crazy accountant's hair.

I'm the pitch to NBC executives for "the show about nothing."

I’m a pirate. Jerry doesn’t want to be me.

I'm Dan, the high-talker.

I'm George's worlds colliding.

I'm crazy Joe Davola's gallery of photos of Elaine.

I'm the $10.00 bet Kramer lost due to looking at a naked woman in a window.

I’m the weird thing my brain does when I can’t sleep, or have a lot on my mind: I try to remember all of Jerry’s girlfriends, or Elaine’s boyfriends in my head. Works every time.

I'm O'Brien.

I'm Alton Benes, Elaine's intimidating father.

That guy scared the crap out of the cast.

Is that real fur?

I'm George's Gore-Tex jacket. I wreak havoc in the liquor store.

I'm the van full of stoners who wanted to make Kramer their leader.

I'm the dry cleaning ticket that Kramer writes Uma Thurman's phone number on.

I'm the blatant product placement in Jerry's kitchen.

I'm Fred Savage fleeing in terror from Kramer.

I'm Erik the clown I put the fire out with my big shoe.

I'm Darren the Kramerica intern.

I'm the spatula Jerry unceremoniously drops in the garbage can after Kramer uses it as a back scratcher.

I'm the Drake.

I'm Newman.

I'm Elaine's dead goldfish.

I'm the lobster traps that Kramer robs illegally.

I'm the Jewish jokes that Dr. Whatley crack after converting.

I'm Mr. Field. Would you change my diaper before you go?

I'm the reverse peepholes on Newman & Kramer's doors.

i <3 this thread. it was a great show, despite what so many say.

I'm low-flow shower heads.

I'm the eggroll Jerry offers Elaine fifty bucks to take off someone's plate and eat."

I'm Tim Whatley's Thanksgiving Eve party. I take place in his great apartment on 77th Street, overlooking where they inflate all the huge balloons for the Macy's Thankgiving Day Parade.

I'm Jason Alexander's favorite line from the show.

I'm Frank Costanza's cabana clothes.

I'm Cynthia's eyebrows.

r338 you're late to the show. that was done upthread. please don't re-review stuff that's already been called out.

I'm the bottle of BBQ sauce that Sally brought Jerry (instead of the bottle that looked like Charles Grodin).

I'm Mr. Heyman's baked-bean teeth.

Why don't you just TELL me the movie you want to see?

Get a good look, Costanza?

I am a desk. I wish if someone were going to crawl under me for a nap that it would not be short, fat, bald man.

I'm Jerry's first father. I was also Mary Hartman's father. Does that make them half-siblings?

I'm Mr. Pitt's Hitler moustache.

I'm Patrick Warburton's shirt. Is there an episode in which I am removed?

I'm Pinter/Peter's Indian wedding to Sue Ellen Mischke.

I'm Frogger.

I'm Elaine's mannequin doppelganger.

I'm the Green peace boat with Larry David

[quote] ^ That was Teri Hatcher's breasts, [R48].

I'm the movie [italic]Soapdish[/italic] where she was allowed to refer to them as "tits."

I'm Lupe. Tuck or no tuck?

[quote]I’m Patrick Warburton's shirt. Is there an episode in which I am removed?

On the far left next to Jerry.

I'm Jan Hooks with the goiter.

I'm the chocolate eclair George fished out of the garbage to eat. Mmmmmmm...

r357 Time to stop the thread due to repetitions.

I'm Jack Klompus' astronaut pen. Jack feels socially pressured to give me to Jerry. Hilarity ensues.

Fun-busters at R341 and R357.

R356, that was Jan Hooks? The woman who had an affair with Ghandi?

I'm the alternate side of the street parking rules.

I'm also the IQ test.

Im Mrs Sokol...George dates my homely daughter to keep his unemployment benefits

I’m all the repeats in this thread because idiots can’t be bothered to read other’s contributions.

[quote] I'm pasta Primavera.

Did you know your name means spring in Italian?

We're the racial slurs Michael "the bad guy from [italic]Problem Child[/italic]" Richards shouted at Black hecklers.

I'm Frank Costanza's lawyer, also played by Larry David, and yes, this is a cape that I'm wearing. I don't follow the trends.

I'm Jerry's penis and brain playing chess.

I am r364 who seems to believe everyone is going to plow through 368 posts on a silly thread to make sure we dont add duplicates.....not happening

I’m r369 who believes only HIS posts are important on a message board. I can’t be bothered to go through anyone else’s posts because I don’t care. They’re not important. Only MY posts are important, regardless of whether what I mentioned has been mentioned five times already.

It’s all about me. ME! ME!!

I’ll never understand people like r369. Half the fun of these posts is going through them and seeing what people said. Reading it is most of the fun. Why wouldn’t anyone read the thread?

I’m the show’s mantra: “No hugging, no learning”

I am the goiter on the woman who rubbed oil over Ghandi.

I am JFK's golf clubs being hurled onto the highway.

I am the guy who thinks Jerry is a big phony, pulling my car into the parking space front first.

I am into being a Latvian Orthodox for the hats.

I am the psychosexual hold the southern accented cashier girlfriend has over Jerry that makes him somehow not mind her long voice messages, "Jerry, I just don't know..."

I am mutant BO.

I'm the prison sentence the cast received in the last episode, a fate the cast of [italic]Friends[/italic] deserved even more.

I am the motorboat Elaine gave George between her breasts when he complained about not getting a Nipple Xmas card.

[quote]I am the goiter on the woman who rubbed oil over Ghandi.

[quote]The woman who had an affair with Ghandi?

Oh, dear x2.

It's GANDHI, you fat stupid whores!

I'm Bette Midler thinking that if I can handle being a guest star here and on [italic]The Simpsons[/italic] that I can carry my own sitcom.

I am the horny/corny faces of the three guys looking at Elaine after she revealed she was the sexy voice on Jerry's tape recorder.

[quote] I’m the show’s mantra: “No hugging, no learning”

I'm the reality that all that hugging and learning he complained about is actually beneficial for the social development of children.

I am the Commando 450 made for washing elephants.

I'm the thinly veiled racism behind the bashing of so-called "Very Special Episodes," i.e. anything that tries to call attention to real-world social problems in order to inspire viewers to actually do something about them.

I am the striped fabric inside Jerry's extremely expensive leather jacket that gets ruined walking in the snow with Elaine's grumpy drunk father.

I am Jerry’s best t-shirt, Golden Boy.

I'm the hugging and learning that Jerry was doing with the VERY young Shoshanna Lowenstein in real life.

I am Tawny Kitaen.

and then I died.

I'm the piece of gum that got stuck in the hair of Jerry's look-alike girlfriend Janet. I'm the cause for the haircut that again showed how much Janet and Jerry looked alike.

I want to be your latex salesman.

I'm the decline in the writing quality after Larry David left.

You, r392?!

I don’t think so.

I'm Bozo the Clown. George should forget me. I'm done. I'm finished. It's over for me.

I'm the Castle Rock logo at the end. Yes, the same studio that made a bunch of Stephen King adaptations is responsible for this show.

I'm the time Elaine's hair looked like crap.

I am serenity now, insanity later.

I'm Brandon Tartikoff quitting NBC right before this show hit its prime.

I'm Elaine's style that JLD had a lot of influence on.

I'm Sherry Becker's orange dress, which was actually purple.

I’m the bell people kept ringing while Kramer was fighting off the muggers and driving the bus. Like Batman.

I’m George’s women’s glasses.

We're all the stupid and unfunny ripoffs this show enabled.

We're the 1970s and 1980s Black Sitcom Renaissance making this show pre-emptively pointless.

I’m the busboy’s missing cat

I'm Puddy's "man-fur" coat.

And I'm stacked alphabetical R262 and R191!

I'm the oranges the starving Japanese tourists plead for.

^^Gandhi^^

r410 see r381

I'm Macaroni Midler!

I’m Snapple. I’m too fruity.

I'm Kramer's entrance

I'm that goddamn slice of wedding cake, and I've already stated my presence three times in this goddamn thread.

I’m the concierge at Del Boca Vista.

Some of you don't seem to understand that you don't actually have to read through every response to see if it was said. Ctrl/F, bitches. I typed "eclair" and "pastry" to make sure no one had mentioned George eating out of the trash before I used it myself.

And then someone came along to repeat the George/eclair one. Bitch, ya should've searched first!

I'm the curtain blocking the woman getting bathed when George visits his mother in the hospital.

I'm gold, Jerry! Comedy gold!

I'm missing Golden Girls for this.

I am the thick-lens glasses from the lost & found at the movie theater that Jerry wore so Lloyd Braun's feelings wouldn't be hurt.

I'm sex to save the friendship.

I'm George's glasses from the Gloria Vanderbilt collection.

I’m the shoelaces that Susan says she’ll pick up for George.

R423 is a fucking moron.

Barely 20 posts ago.

JFC.

I’m the stuffed cabbage Kramer dropped in the elevator.

What’s more annoying? The repetitive posts, or the posts bitching about them? I would say the latter.

I'm a decaf cappuccino.

I’m the air conditioner Kramer lugged all over the mall garage. I wasn’t supposed to be in the box since it was only for TV, but Michael Richards insisted I be in the box to make his carrying of me more realistic.

I'm the balm Kramer used on his coffee burn. No one told him to use a balm!

I'm opening a pickle jar naked

I'm the 90 to 95 percent of the population that Jerry says is undateable.

Pardon the interruption but what was the name of the ventriloquist dummy Jerry heard pitter pattering around in Kramer's bedroom when they switched places?

R433 Mr. Marbles

Thanks, R434!

I'm the cassette tape Jerry helps George swap out of his girfriend's answering machine.

I'm a shmoopy. No, you're a shmoopy!

I am five cups chopped Porcini mushrooms, half a cup of olive oil, three pounds of celery...

I'm the luggage that a vengeful skycap sends to Honolulu after Elaine objects to Jerry paying his suggested tip.

I'm the hot fudge sundaes in first class!

I'm the insurance I'm purchasing on this car rental because you people don't know how to "hold" the rental car so I can pick it up.

I'm Puddy and I'm just gonna stare at the back of the seat in front of me the whole flight home.

I'm the coke machine that gets rocked back & forth a few times before it tips over.

I’m Tuscany, and there are no villas to rent in all of me, according to the maestro.

I’m the one First Class seat. Elaine has never flown me, but Jerry has. So Elaine has no idea what she’s missing, but Jerry does. And he can’t go back to coach. He won’t!

I'm Pinter/Peter.

[quote] Mr. Marbles

You’re harmless!

I'm "Get out!"

I don't care about any other post in this thread. I haven't even read one single post.

Still, I am the boyfriend of Puddy. I have thought about him for decades. Our life together. The small little fights and the makeup sex. Our marriage and honeymoon to a ski resort in Vermont he loves. The way he hates it when I ask dumb questions about car maintenance. The way he loves it when a rub his belly after he eats a little too much. Oh, Puddy. Thanks for giving my life meaning.

I'm the Big! News!

[quote]I'm the 90 to 95 percent of the population that Jerry says is undateable.

And that ugly motherfucker doesn't think he's in that group.

I'm shaving...then sunbathing...with butter!

I'm the Schwinn Stingray Elaine tries to get off the display wall that gives her a pinched neck.

I'm the jungle music Kramer and Tina conga line dance to as Elaine comes into the apartment.

I'm the rationale for The Deal.

I'm the puffy shirt!

I am stink on a monkey, working a simile.

[quote]Some of you don't seem to understand that you don't actually have to read through every response to see if it was said. Ctrl/F, bitches. I typed "eclair" and "pastry" to make sure no one had mentioned George eating out of the trash before I used it myself.

Don't bother. You're talking to people who can't even be bothered to use spellcheck.

I'm the cinnamon babka.

Ha ha.

I’m George’s ATM PIN that only J Peterman’s mother knows.

I’m the excessive amount of paella cooked by Estelle Costanza now that the Seinfeld’s aren’t coming to dinner. What is she going to do with me?

I'm the armoire stolen from Kramer by the gay couple. It also contained the Soup Nazi's recipes.

I'm "Schindler's List." Jerry loved making out to me.

I am Susan's parents forcing George to drive us to a house we know he does not have in the Hamptons.

I'm the hen. Who's having sex with me?

I'm the nervous mohel who cuts Jerry's finger.

I'm an Oh Henry! candy bar.

I'm Fusilli Jerry.

I'm the regrettable quip that Jerry writes on his photo at a diner near where the Bubble Boy lives. "Nothing could be finer than eating at your diner."

I'm the Ross/Costanza dinner party.

I'm the soup withheld as punishment from the unruly, obnoxious characters who lost their right to deserve to be served it! :O

I am the wig master.

I'm the velvet scrunchie Kramer gives to the woman in the bookstore.

I'm the sidler.

I'm the toy collection.

I'm Elaine's gay friend Robert! She beards for me and couldn't get me to switch teams.

I'm the cafe latte Kramer consistently mispronounces.

I'm the dresser filled with Japanese businessmen.

I'm Baboo, and you're a very bad man, Jerry! Very bad man!

I am the lipstick Elaine is applying when Jerry asks if her new perfect boyfriend is pro choice. When she turns her head to ask, "What?" she draws a line across her face with me.

I'm Kramer's green '73 Chevy Impala.

I'm Poppie's pee puddle on the sofa.

I'm the Jon Lovitz character Gary Fogel, pretending to have cancer.

I'm the van that's a-rockin.

I'm the hideously ugly neighbor kid Kramer goes to Karate with.

I'm gay and straight porn star Andre Bolla. I'm an extra in two scenes in "The Soup Nazi" episode.

I’m the gallon-size can of baked beans eaten by Kramer’s carriage horse.

I'm Moops

I'm Moors

i am the dead parrot, exhumed in the night to retrieve Kramer's key.

I am Keith Hernandez and the 3rd base coach isn't waving me home.

I'm just a salad. Just a salad.

I'm the alarm clock that didn't ring so the African runner was late to the marathon.

I'm the birthday wish used for spite.

I'm making sure you see ,=me putting the tio in the jar.

I'm tryptophan in the turkey. ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz

I'm not as good as the risotto.

I'm the unbearable stench Elaine has to endure to use the restroom on an airplane.

I'm the pre-emptive breakup.

Probably repeat but...I am the Junior Mint that miraculously saved patient in surgery and would probably be good for coronavirus too.

I'm Denim Vest.

I'm the lighting that makes Gwen the "two-face" look gorgeous or hideous.

I'm "Inna-Gadda-Da-Vida" that Elaine is cranking at max volume to drown out the howling cat.

I'm the thin layer of gabardine standing between Kramer's genitals and everyone else in the room.

I'm the enema bag Kramer used.

I'm Kramer's pimp strut.

R371 - Not when there's 368 out of them. It gets so wearisome after a couple dozen posts, you know?

So there's a few dupes. Who the fuck cares?!

I'm the movie The English Patient and Elaine was correct, I am indeed boring.

I'm the song Desperado.

Maybe they have a job or kids to care for or perhaps just a life beyond their computer and dont have time to go through 500+ posts to make sure they dont post a duplicate. r371.

It's not about not reading a funny thread, it's about not caring about duplicate answers...jeez, have you ever had any real life trauma or is this it for ya.

"So there's a few dupes. Who the fuck cares?!"

r508

Too many obviously ..... r370 and r371 to tag a couple

As has been pointed out, you don't need to read through all 500+ responses. Just hit CTRL+F and look for the key word.

[quote]Maybe they have a job or kids

Dataloungers don't have either.

I'm Ovaltine and I wonder why I'm not called Roundtine.

I'm the flock of pigeons that takes flight.

I’m the baseball bat George used to show Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams how to hit the ball.

I'm Larry David yelling for a marine biologist to help get a golf ball out of a whale

I'm the subtle middle finger the waitress gives George.

I'm DeDee Pfeiffer, Michelle's sister, whose character is attracted to "opposite George."

I'm the suede jacket never to be worn outside again.

How about I put it out in your face!

I'm the original Frank Costanza.

I'm the bird that flew into Elaine's oversized head.

I never knew there was another frank costanza

I am The Human Fund, the fictional charity devised by George one Christmas. The accounting department would like to know more about me.

I'm Cable Boy.

I'm George's Rascal scooter.

[quote] I am The Human Fund, the fictional charity devised by George one Christmas.

Fictional?

I'm separate schools for dentists, proof of anti-Dentite bigotry!

I’m the fat bastard Jerry wants to watch the surgeons cut up.

I'm ... "refunding."

I'm Milos the terrible tennis player

We’re all the fake movies: Sack Lunch, Rochelle, Rochelle, Blame it on the Rain, The Muted Heart, Death Blow, Prognosis Negative, Chunnel

I’m Meryl Streep; Jerry says I’m a phony baloney.

Why did Jerry’s decor in his apartment NEVER change in all the years the show was on?

I'm George's girlfriend, Tracy Nelson, who looks like Jerry.

R536 No doubt there would be a public outcry if the set changed.

I'm George's keys that say "do not duplicate," which is why he doesn't have a spare set.

I'm Kramer's "comfort problem."

I'm the original title of "War and Peace."

I'm the true spirit of Christmas

I'm the sea, angry like an old man trying to send back soup at a deli.

I'm Gladys Mayo, I own both stores.

I'm Elaine, all fucked up on muscle relaxers!

I am Jackie Childs. "Who told you to put a balm on?"

I'm Newman, the scofflaw.

I'm the various boxes and pillows and loose clothing JLD would use to hide her pregnancies during the show's run.

"I'm George's Rascal scooter."

And I'm the hickory cane that goes upside George's head after he dents my owner's "ride."

[quote] I'm Newman, the scofflaw.

You’re the white whale!

I'm George's disgusting fingers in Jerry's peanut butter. I'm a sickening display.

I'm the pouch envy that male kangaroos have.

I’m shirtless George getting Kramer to take a seductive picture so he can impress the photo clerk.

I'm the meta sauna.

I'm the dinner fork that Newman accidentally sits on as he sits down on his couch, and surreptitiously slides out of sight. He's the Devil, of course, and the fork is his pitchfork. I think he also stamps his little hooves in that same episode, or maybe another one. He is clearly meant to be Satan. "NEWMAN!!" (I went to college with Wayne Knight, was acquainted with him slightly, through others in the university drama department. He was just the same, but quieter, devilish but very shy).

^Can I also be the enormous "puffy coat" that George wears into the liquor store during icy weather (while double-parked outside), and then bumps into a vodka display with it, and destroys several hundred dollars' worth of liquor?

I'm also the oversized art book that George is not allowed to return to the bookstore, because "it has been in the bathroom."

(Frankly, this is getting to be like Walt Whitman's "Leaves of Grass"): I am also the old sewing machine out on the dark highway, that wedges tightly underneath Newman's mail truck as he is bring loads of frozen fish into the City (to satisfy Elaine's unnatural desires), and which sparks the fire under the truck, that seemingly would have killed Newman, finally, but mysteriously didn't ("Oh, the Humanity!!")

I'm George Steinbrenner: "BUK-buk-buk-buk-bukbuk!!")

I'm Putumayo, the 'natives': "their condiments, their unmentionables..."

I'm the bucket, in Elaine's bedroom, being used by her heroin-addicted "boyfriend", who is going through withdrawal and vomiting, while she's on the phone with Jerry [looking back, over her shoulder, into the bedroom behind her, casually: "Use your bucket!!"]

I'm the brass candlestick in Elaine's apartment that, she realizes, she could easily use to kill the bent-over phone company workman who is down on all 4s in her living room. It's simultaneously revealed that he was also contemplating the temptation of killing her in exactly the same way...

I'm Mr. Pitt and these are the wrong socks, Elaine!!!

I am Rudy Giuliani's blood cholesterol level.

I'm Tim Watley.

I'm the unauthorized "Hi."

I'm the posters of Jerry's mail fraud and George's ill-conceived mail-order pornography ring, as exposed and clicked through by Newman.

The timeless art of seduction!

I'm Dan Cortese.

568 posts and no one is the blowhole?

Yep, pretty sure that's upthread w/a guest starring role for Larry David asking if there is a marine biologist who can help!

r569 I can't believe no one said 'mimbo'

George Costanza had a bro crush on me.

I am hyperkemia! NOT metabolic acidosis!

I'm Giuliani's gums. Rick does me.

Elaine actually took down some decent dick.

I said hyperkalemia!

I'm "uromysitisis," a not-real disease Jerry claims to have when he's caught urinating in a parking garage.

I’m the last Twix bar being consumed by the short-named mechanic at the Saab dealership. I’m the only candy bar with the cookie crunch.

He's right about Twix - it was about the only candy bar i liked growing up as a kid (and having to sneak them because my parents didn't allow refined sugar in the house). Kit Kat was okay too. Now they both have a fake taste.

I'm the Merv Griffin set from the 1970s. I stink almost as much as Jerry's latest dating story.

I'm right behind John John Kennedy in aerobics class!

I am number one position on speed dial!

I'm the big-breasted waitresses at the diner. Elaine suspects they are being hired for their "bountiful" qualities and applies for a job, which she doesn't get. When she puts up a stink, she finds out they are the diner owner's daughters.

I am a two-line phone, and a caller on one line can hear everything I say to a caller on the second line!

I am the Yankees' new cotton uniforms.

I'm Morty Seinfeld's wallet, lifted from the examination room when I had to step out.

I'm the goldfish that dies when they can't find their car in the mall parking lot.

I am Elaine, sweating to death in a Holly Hobby flannel nightgown at the Seinfeld's condo in Boca Del Vista.

I'm the watch that Uncle Leo finds in the trashcan after Jerry throws it out. Who throws out a perfectly good watch?!

I'm the Cel-Ray Jerry occasionally drinks.

Yes, a celery-flavored soda. It's real, and people drink it.

I'm the flower Elaine's new (poor) boyfriend picks and hands her.

I am a Drake's coffee cake.

I'm Kramer's theatricalized gonorrhea.

I'm converting for the jokes.

I'm the lobster from the illegal traps that they serve to Jerry's girlfriend for breakfast during their group weekend get away. Boy was she pissed when she found out there was lobster in the breakfast dish served!

I'm Mickey and Kramer fighting over who gets which girl on the double date.

I'm never using the bathroom during a trip to India.

I'm a surly doorman.

I'm Mickey and Kramer acting out illnesses to train residents to diagnose them based on their symptoms.

I am the security guard, peacefully sleeping in a rocking chair while the store is robbed.

I'm the tits everyone gets to see before George does when his new girlfriend sunbathes topless.