are the folks on HOARDERS really that bad?

No, because usually by the time they call the show, the family has already done a cleanup various times and they re-hoard or pull things that were thrown away out of the trash.

R1, you're probably right. I would say I'm hoarder adjacent. I've been hanging onto way too much stuff, but tomorrow I'm going to start trashing stuff; stocked up on a lot of trashbags and am trying to get in the mindset of 'if I haven't worn it in a year am I ever going to wear it again?'

Wish me luck!

Yes - I love the show Hoarders, but realized I too hang onto stuff because I don’t want to deal with the anxiety of getting rid of them. I started selling stuff on Facebook Marketplace and when you realize how little people will actually pay (or pick up locally) it makes you think about what things are worth keeping—and what is easier to donate/sell/throw away. Dealing with flaky people, people who ghost you, and people who offer you nothing (or have weird expectations despite photos and exact measurements) has been rough, but have sold things to some nice people as well. However, it has made me think twice about what I buy now and made it easier to get rid of stuff. I am definitely on a path to simplicity and no longer want so much stuff.

It’s also a lot of work getting rid of stuff. It takes rune to sort, organize, sell, etc. I’m doing it now so I don’t have to do it later.

*time

Yes, hoarding is real. And it really is that bad (like on the show called "Hoarders"). There's another show called "Hoarders: Buried Alive."

It's like going to an alcoholic's house and pouring all their booze down the drain. They will immediately go out to the liquor store and buy more booze. A hoarder will immediately go out and start acquiring more junk if you clean out their house.

My fave was the folks that had a burst septic tank that resulted in a literal river of shit through their house.

I have the hoarder gene from my mom and it’s terrible. I had moved into an apartment with double closet with nothing but a duffle and suitcase and when I met my husband three years later was able to fill an entire moving van right to the roof when I moved in with him. I was walking down with the last two items- an old iMac and a laptop tray for bed-and he made me throw them out then and there on the street. I would keep really nice gift wrap, high quality paper, etc. and for awhile would hoard things like towels and socks- when they went on sale.

I’ve since learned to curb my habits, but I have a white shirt fetish- about 50 that I have to stack and restack in my closet because they fall down and I catch myself thinking about buying any more- and have to stay away from the aisle when shopping because I’m attracted the new crisp white look of them, Mary! LOL

What about the rat hoarder?

I grew up to be a tosser because of hoarders.

I intentionally stay out of people's personal stuff because my first instinct is to toss shit as soon as their backs are turned.

Clothing is easy because you pare down to what you actually need and toss/donate the rest. I bought three nice wire bins from The Container Store and figured out how many shirts, pairs of pants, underwear, socks etc I actually needed and only what fit in those bins and donated everything else. Also only kept one type of shoe (sandal, boot, tennis shoe, etc). I also have four long sleeve and four short sleeved button down shirts., etc it’s amazing how much you can offload and it makes you less inclined to impulse/sale buying because you know what you need.

Does anyone have any book recommendations for help with getting rid of stuff?

The shows where all the bathrooms in the house are piled floor to ceiling with junk so they're unusable, so the hoarders are shitting in the backyard and using the garden hose as a shower. OMFG!

I think hoarders are reverting to an earlier primate/mammalian behavior of nesting in order to self-soothe. Surrounding yourself with soft materials can be comforting, even if it looks like hell from outside. If you've ever had small mammals as pets you know what I mean.

I think people are fascinated with hoarders because they get off on feeling superior and grooving on the suffering.

My mother is pretty bad because she always thinks she can sell stuff.

"Oh I can get $5 for that at a garage sale"

Even broken shit. It is really frustrating.

It’s a mental issue that is linked to depression.

Getting rid of all the stuff without mental health treatment concurrently will only cause great anxiety and won’t stop the problem at all

I’ve seen hoarding start by my parents and uncle as they got older.

My rule is...One item in, two items out!

I adore Matt Paxton, and he is the least fucking judgmental guy out there. He's got his own horror stories about being homeless and ready to die under a bridge. I think he had a horrible gambling addiction that nearly did him in.

He sums it up by saying something like "we are all 5 bad decisions away from shitting in a bucket". I've heard different numbers, but talk about splitting hairs. 4? 5? But he says it with compassion. What a guy.

My mother is a hoarder, the shit is literally piled up to the ceiling, two rooms in her house can't even be entered because there is too much shit. Her mother was the same way.

When a date asks me - What are your deal breakers? Hoarding is def on the list. I can't stand stuff and things everywhere. It's suffocating. I dated this amazing guy years ago.. a serious catch - and serious hoarder. He had bags full of stuff pilled up to ceiling in his 2 bedroom. The whole apartment was a disaster. I lasted about 3 mos.. and had to break it off.

I have it too, I MEAN MY FRIEND DOES but it's not so much clutter, it's grub. There needs to be a show called Grubbers.

My boss has the kind of hoarding we see on TV that is so bad that when I don't hear from him in two days I assume his hoard fell on him. I'm stunned he hasn't been reported by the few times the utility companies have had to show up.

R15 similar to the people that watch My 600 pound life

r15 Holy shit. My long estranged eldest sister would say about a messy place, either her or her own, without apology, "it is very nesty in here" And that was ancient times. Glad to have found this thread.

I've known four hoarders. One of them on Sunday drives would pick up junk at overpasses; another could not bear to empty a cigar box full of thread, broken buttons, and hairpins. The third when she sold her house actually moved her "stuff" to rental storage places because her new apartment didn't have enough room. The fourth was a compulsive overeater who stored junk in her shower/tub. She would go a friend's house to shower. She was so fat she hadn't seen her feet in 20 years.

I always knew my mom had hoarding tendencies but it really got bad as she got older. I'm sure it's a part of dementia.

Anytime I tried to throw something away, she would attach some meaning to it and why it couldn't be given or thrown away.

When she died, I just went like a bulldozer and threw everything away without looking at what most was.

R27 here again--The reason I am so vigilant about my own home and making sure there is NO clutter is the fear that I will end up like my mom.

Of course, some may think I have a mental issue in the other direction.

[quote] Clothing is easy because you pare down to what you actually need and toss/donate the rest.

Not trying to argue, but nothing is easy for a hoarder.

I lived by a couple who were on the show. They were divorced and fighting over the crap in their house and it was all just trash. Gorgeous Victorian in Lower Haight in SF. People started staring at their house more after the show aired and one day the wife came out and freaked out on some lookie loos. It was kind of awesome.

The rat hoarder at R10 was surprisingly very sympathetic. Dr. Zasio ended up adopting one of the rats.

Yes, love Matt Paxton. Didn't realize he was a gambling addict. Ugh!

Hoarding would be a deal-breaker for me. No way in hell would I try to combine households with a hoarder.

[quote] The shows where all the bathrooms in the house are piled floor to ceiling with junk so they're unusable, so the hoarders are shitting in the backyard and using the garden hose as a shower. OMFG!

Totally agree! Why would you not "preserve" the functionality of your toilet? How is that not a priority? I can understand hoarding up a kitchen and then subsisting on takeout, but to sacrifice your toilet? SMH.

I used to work/was friendly with a woman who was a hoarder. Her house and her car were filled with STUFF and trash. She came from a wealthy family and had plenty of money that she blew on crap like collecting Happy Meal toys.! I went to her house a couple of times and I couldn't believe my eyes. It finally made sense when I learned that in college she had gotten pregnant (by, GASP! a black man) and her parents shipped her off to a home for unwed mothers and made her give up the baby. I have a feeling that's when the hoarding began.

The last time I saw her, for the most part, was when she had bought this nice new house with the money her parents had left her. She had inherited a lot of their really nice antiques as well. It looked really nice when I went over to see it. I remember telling her she should keep it this way...and then I opened the door to the garage and she was all, "No, don't!" It was filled to the brim with JUNK.

I eventually had to step away from that relationship. She kept getting nuttier. I bet the new, big house is full of crap now, too.

I'm fascinated by hoarding, hoarders, and the mental gymnastics they go through. My spouse isn't a hoarder exactly but he just buys things because he likes it -- there is never a thought as to how he will use it, or if he needs it. It's all based on "I like it, I want it, I have the money." It doesn't help that he has great taste in clothes and expensive stuff looks really good on him (he's tall and slim). But it's more than that really; anything that strikes his fancy he buys (candy that goes uneaten, note cards that go unsent, soaps that get stockpiled). His sister is more extreme and I think she buys things to fill an emotional need (she is single and has a lot of money): there is a UPS truck at the house 5-7 days a week. And my God! The worst taste imaginable, totally Frau junk like snowy village centerpieces, anything holiday-related (I keep quiet when I visit her house and see it decorated for St. Valentine's Day). "Stuff" has value and that value never lessens and it never expires. It's interesting to see the two of them on a spectrum.

Me? I grew up as one of the younger ones in a large family whose parents watched their spending. I understand hand-me-downs, the "wear it up, wear it out" thinking. I may love a sweater that I see and it's on sale, but I have eight sweaters -- I know when I don't need anymore. I have kept five articles of clothing that I can no longer wear but I will never throw out. They're just there in my closet reminding me of happier times. Those items, five or six photo albums, and a shoe box of mementos are the only things that really mean anything to me.

My housemate is a not a hoarder but I think what they call a “churner” to some degree and compulsive with unfinished projects/clutter. I’ve cleaned up areas of junk and created space, and he will bring a plant home and leave it on the verge of being repotted in the middle of the floor for days. He’ll go through these short cleanup spurts and give you hope, and then clutter starts piling up again—or a project is started and left unfinished—tools out, mess everywhere—just abandoned. I cleaned the garage and made room (it was filled with random clutter) and he decided to buy and resell things during COVID and filled the area back up —guess where it all still is a year later? What space remains is no filled with landscaping materials—this year’s grand project—which happened for a few weeks then stopped, so garage is full again.

These folks don’t see clean areas as a resolution, they see them as an opportunity to fill up with crap or more space for messes. Interestingly, attempts to help clean up or make things look nice (not redecorating—just putting things that have been sitting in a pile where they belong—are usually resented, and it’s weird the things they overlook or are fussy about. So it’s ok to leave it on the floor for months, but if I put it in the wrong cabinet, that’s a problem? I finally gave up and have been slowly retreating from all areas of the house by removing my things and ignoring old/new messes/clutter. He works from home now and no plans to go back so the situation has ramped up and I realize the only solution is to get out.

*now

I also don’t understand how they won’t throw away empty boxes, unneeded packaging, etc. Nope—get something from Amazon, leave box/packing material in the middle of floor. Bizarre.

Yeah, I don't understand trash hoarders. This lady, Sherry, I hated. She sat on a chair in her living room, throwing needles onto the floor. Soda cans everywhere. Kids were serving her meals. She had a shitty personality.

This lady is a prime example of victim mentality. The problem is not the mess, it’s the fact that even if they clean it up, she feels justified in making it again.

My dad and his mother were both hoarders, not like you see on the show but bad enough. Dad was very good about organizing his stuff into boxes and storing it nicely, so you didn't really realize he was hoarding. As I get older I struggle with getting rid of stuff I know I don't need and sometimes spend a few days worrying about (or missing) some junky old thing I threw out. A decade ago I wouldn't have acted this way. It's worrisome.

I have some shared common areas with my neighbors. They're not hoarders, but they don't ever seem to get rid of anything. I do sometimes need to pick stuff off the ground so that nobody trips, etc. It is sometimes an eyesore, looking at stuff piled up and stored in every possible space. For the most part, though, I like my neighbors and I just deal with it.

Hoarding is clinical psychiatric condition associated with OCD. These people are mentally ill.

I would say yes, they are as bad as what's depicted on the show. I bought the house right across the street from the one I live in 5 years ago. From the outside, it was in perfect condition, great detailed paint job, nice lawn, with wood fencing all around and an electric gate in the back at the driveway. But the people who had lived there for the last 10 years (renters) , who were totally nice and seemingly normal, were hoarders. When they moved out and I went inside for the first time, I couldn't even see the floors for the mounds of stuff they had left. The basement had a room that I couldn't even enter because it was filled four feet high with stuff. It has a huge yard, and there was a single path that went from the front gate, to the basement door, to the back door, to the driveway gate...the entire yard was filled, at least four feet high, with stuff. None of it was trash or garbage, it was just a collection of stuff, in fact, there were many things that I kept myself because they were new or unusual or useful. I made the Sellers remove it all prior to closing, and it took 27 trips to the dump with large trash trucks to clear it out.

I haven't watched Hoarders in a while...but, I could never eat anything while watching it. It could be so totally gross... especially bathrooms and kitchens.

A resident in my condo (where I'm on the condo board) is a hoarder and she has been for 20+ years. She's insufferable. A retired teacher, she had to come out of retirement to feed her shopping addiction. Intermittently the condo corp has to intervene because her hoarding creates both pest control issues for adjacent suites and poses a fire hazard (she's a recovering alcoholic who smokes in amongst all that garbage, I think she just replaced her alcoholism for this).

Every time help is offered and given, such as allowing her to repay the condo corporation back in installments for clean up efforts that normally are required every 1-2 years, she finds something to complain about. She has repeatedly accused workers (who specialize in this sort of cleanup) of stealing shit she didn't even know she had, despite the fact that she is made to supervise the entire cleanup to avoid this very thing. She's a horrible asshole, and I know this is a mental illness intellectually, but I still find her contemptible.

The last time we cleaned her shit up, we even arranged to have her place painted and flooring installed (she was living on BARE CONCRETE because she couldn't see the floor anyway, her logic) she fucked up her place all over again in one year's time. Despite all this and sure as shit, she is always shopping based on the daily stream of packages we receive for her.

It's an extremely difficult illness to treat apparently, with a very low recovery rate. She knows what's wrong with her, knows she needs consistent medication and treatment with a psychiatrist, but she continues to resist it. I don't think she can he helped.

If you knew the high I got off clearing out my dad's basement and garage and barns....filling contractor bags, loading up the jeep, driving to older Walgreen's (dumpster in the alley) flinging bags(great shoulder&tris exercise) and then driving off...so transgressive.

I may be a sadist.

^^ Ah, so you're trans then ^^

My partner is a hoarder. When he “cleans” he just moves things to another room and fills it up. I’m depressed everyday. I can’t keep up with his clutter anymore.

My mother was the ANTI-HOARDER, she wanted everything thrown out. She was one of those mothers who would "clean" your room, give away toys without asking and throw away stuff like baseball cards that would be worth thousands today. My brother is exactly like that, but his wife won't let him in the daughters' rooms.

Collectibles are only worth thousands because mothers had common sense.

The American lifestyle seems suited for hoarding. (I'm American.) All this consumer crap, Amazon ordering, etc. I wonder, in countries that are more austere, if hoarding is an issue.

I saw a U.K. show about hoarding, so, I realize it's a problem there as well.

I feel so good when I throw things out--I pray I never become a hoarder.

I know a hoarder with real money. She orders stuff from TV shopping channels and piles the packages without even opening them. Floor to ceiling.

R33 That candy would never go uneaten in my home.

[quote] My partner is a hoarder. When he “cleans” he just moves things to another room and fills it up. I’m depressed everyday. I can’t keep up with his clutter anymore.

I'd break up or, at least, move out. I'd go nuts living with a hoarder.

Me too R51. I take too much pride in my home.

Last summer, I did a clean-out of all of my stuff. I opened every single drawer & cabinet and looked at what was inside. Threw out things I wasn't using.

The people who hoard animals in cages should be taken out and shot.

R48, I'm also an anti-hoarder, as was my mother. While I didn't like that most of my stuff got purged on the regular, and occasionally 'miss' some childhood items, I am grateful that I have the foresight to stay organized and on top of my belongings.

My partner is a slight hoarder. He knows he has a problem sorting and organizing all the papers he retains, but his 'cleaning spurts' aren't long enough to sustain the rate of collections. Any piece of mail, weekly free newspapers, receipts, shopping bags, any/all paper or plastic bags - he thinks he'll need at some point. When I get on a cleaning binge, I organize some of it, put it into piles, and recycle/throw out lots of items that he never misses or realizes. But occasionally he will notice and get mad that I threw something out. When we moved in together, I demanded that he throw away 75% of his possessions, and he did. It's now 5 years later, and he has probably accumulated/netted about 10% of the paper hoard back.

At least it's not food or animals or anything...

r18 you see a lot of that on Hoarders. Many of the hoarders were very neat when they were younger but as they aged they started hoarding, much to the bafflement and horror of their family members.

These ladies are funny —they make fun of thr nastiness they find so some might be triggered

*the

When I was very young there was an old woman who lived on my street who was what we would now call a hoarder but back then they were called "packrats." Every window of her house was piled up with junk, you couldn't see inside. After she died, there were dumptrucks in the front yard to haul away all the crap that was inside the house, it was unbelievable, everybody in the neighborhood was standing out in the street watching it. Back then the hoarding disorder wasn't as commonly known as it is now and I remember the neighbors who were standing in the street saying things like "what IS this? What the hell was wrong with her?"

The house was so damaged it was unsalvageable, it was torn down a short time later and another house was built on the property.

My issue is that I have stuff and yet buy more of the same, because I can't find my stuff at home when I need it. I once tried to get more organized and found like 20 scissors, of the same type, and half of them were still in their package in mint condition. I was so embarrassed by that discovery (wasting all that money), that I had to stop with my organizing attempt.

A pair of brothers who were among the first famous hoarders

[quote]My boss has the kind of hoarding we see on TV that is so bad that when I don't hear from him in two days I assume his hoard fell on him.

A few years ago there was a story on the news about a woman who lived in my area who died exactly that way. Her hoard fell on her and she wasn't discovered for several weeks.

[quote]Do they ever encounter people who say "thank God you're here; I want to keep this and this and this -- everything else can GO!"

Are you serious? The show would be over before the first commercial. No, that doesn't happen.

R12. Of course, but before I have to get rid off all the other useless books I am hoarding on my bookshelf, so I can find it in the third row.

On a more serious way. Just start looking in your closet. Try everything which is in there. Two options: still your size or not. The hill with not your size anymore, pick max a fourth or better less. Would you buy it again in a store? If not... Gone. The other part, put it on. Comfortable, looking good on you, worn in the last two years. Keep it.

R63 that is why so many people end up hoarders. There is so much emotional energy tied up in their mess (including shame) that it’s easier to just put it out of their mind and think it will happen someday. Best to say “I get to donate these to a person who needs them” and commit to cleaning a box/area/drawer a day. I’ve been doing this and when you start seeing progress it feels good and inspires you to do more. I also take “stress breaks” where I will say to myself, “At 5 you are going to do—“ and commit to it for an hour or so. Then I take a break for 30 min to an hour and repeat. That way you don’t burn yourself out. It’s like when people go to the gym and do way too much the first day and end up super sore and never go back, when they could have done a half an hour of light exercise and increased over time and made real progress.

I do like shows where they do want to make the changes. The lady whose husband died and she kept his pants and it started a hoarding habit and the gay guy that was collecting puppets and toys were great shows.

I like how the show always follows a predictable trajectory:

1. Person is sad/embarrassed and wants to change 2. Day of cleanup—hoarder there but looking anxious 3. Hoarder begrudgingly starts to help with clean but won’t throw anything away (keep pile) 4. Has meltdown over some minor thing/starts fight with relative/ finds reason to leave 5. Hoarder starts crying and says the inevitable, “You’re throwing everything away, you might as well just throw me in the dumpster too!”

I think they call in Matt P when the hoarder is a frau bitch wheels. He doesn’t play around and tells them what’s up!

*frau bitch on wheels

[41] is right. Hoarding is just the visible manifestation of other pathologies. These people are often the victims of earlier mental or sexual abuse.

It was only after therapy that I realized my "hoarding tendencies" or as I like to call it "acquisition fetish" is the result of two withholding parents who used to moderate/control my behavior by allowing me access to, or denying me access to, the things I loved. Great books, records, so forth. I would ask permission to buy something and would get "well, let's see how you behave for the next XX and we'll talk about it then." After that, of course, every time I did something that didn't meet with their approval (almost daily for a young gayling like myself) it would be..."Well, looks like somebody isn't getting that trip to the library they wanted so bad." By about age 13 or 14 I realized what their stratagem was, and when I would get the party line, I would say .I'll take that as a no," and walk away. Later in life, when I had my freedom and my own resources, I would acquire the things I had been denied as a child. Bags of books from bookstores, only 20% of which I ever got around to reading. It's never too late to reparent yourself, but it's a fucking struggle.

A lot of hoarders are forced into an intervention because of legal consequences. E.g., the outside of their house is hoarded-up and the neighbors are complaining. Fines and even jail time can be involved.

Or CPS or APS (adult protective services) finds out that there is an ingress / egress problem. EMS / fire department wouldn't be able to get into the house if someone needed help.

I can't watch Hoarders, it hits too close to home. My father has obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, and my mother has borderline traits, if not the full-blown disorder. His hoarding and procrastination around home maintenance issues were a constant source of conflict. They should have divorced. But I'm kind of glad they didn't. As shitty as our house looked at times, my dad was still the sane, emotionally-stable parent, at least in comparison to my mother. Living with her alone...no thank you.

My dad's hoarding has worsened with age, and my mother decided to move into a retirement home because she finally can't take it anymore. My brother and I moved her in a couple weeks ago. I won't go into the details, but it was rough. Suffice it to say, I am thoroughly over my parents' shit, whether it's their physical belongings or their emotional issues. And while I know some of their belongings are worth money, when the time comes, my brother and I will be donating most of it, because we've already expended way too much energy coping with their co-dependent insanity. You can't put a price on freedom.

I just can’t believe some of the extremes. Like the lady who would tie herself to a chair in the kitchen to sleep at night and had to call paramedics because she slipped down and was trapped hanging there. I think that was the lady whose bathroom floor was rotted away due to piles of dirty Depends. Depressing.

I remember that episode, R76. That was depressing.

Anti-hoarders are almost as sick as hoarders. I knew one who saw the musical version of Grey Gardens and claimed she went into convulsions and had to leave the theater. I'm not kidding!

The hoarding on the Hoarders TV show is so extreme though. Most of the people featured aren't even really hoarding stuff anymore - its trash. They can't even bother to throw away old newspaper, plastic bags or empty Pepsi bottles. Part of it is mental illness but part of it is also laziness.

Very few people ever have neat hoards.

Dr. Robin Zasio looks like David Bowie in Labyrinth.

Have to realize they have distressing thoughts, obsessions, compulsions/rituals around their hoard.

R79, trash hoarding is HOARDING. The most common for the very mentally ill ones.

I don't even like going in a house with lots of clutter. I feel contaminated by the miasma.

r76 I also remember that one. That lady had piles of used Depends covered in shit, all over the house. They were kind enough to pixellate the piles so the viewers didn't throw up.

Dr Robin Zasio needs an intervention with her makeup artist regarding her foundation and the person who does the lighting for those interviews. Not flattering.

Oh god R76 ,that episode broke my heart. That old lady was so sweet,but in absolutely horrendous physical (and mental) condition. I hated the way her daughter lied to her that she was going to move her in to her house then at the end shoved her in some medicare home.

I am somewhat OCD and those shows do make me anxious. And if I need to clean, those episodes get you moving.

I think it’s easy to condemn family members, but old people can be very stubborn, manipulative and combative. By the time they do the shows, the family has gone through hell, and the person is often so deteriorated both mentally and physically the family doesn’t have a lot of options. I’m dealing with this right now with an elderly and very ill grandma who owns property so everyone is jumping through hoops to let her be at home and Is denying hospice care, which keeps her holding court/power over family members. It’s been going on for twenty years and it’s exhausting. Jo one will lay down the law and get some kind of conservatorship, so people just play along.

No one

[quote] I think it’s easy to condemn family members, but old people can be very stubborn, manipulative and combative.

I don't watch these shows and blame the family members. I actually feel sorry for the family members. The only time I feel judgmental is when kids (under 18) are living with a hoarder & the other parent won't step in to help. That was Sherry's situation (at R37 ), IIRC. Her husband had moved out of the hoarded house, but left the two children there. What the fuck?

My brother always had hoarding tendencies and it was a mild cold war between him and our mother. He would get all enthused about something (lego, airfix planes, Tin-Tin etc) and had to get everything he could related to his latest obsession. But he could never let go once his interest had waned and he'd moved on to the next thing. So he would have dusty boxes of broken toys and dog eared magazines piled under his bed. Our mum had to set very clear boundaries or he would have slowly taken over the house. If it could fit under his bed or the bottom of his wardrobe he could store it, if it was one of his current treasures on display in his room, it had to be dusted weekly. My brother is a lovely guy and our mum was a dedicated parent. She could see he was headed for trouble. I really think if she hadn't forced those habits on him in childhood my brother would have been a full-blown hoarder by now. He STILL gets enthused and collects and finds it hard to let go. He carves off chunks of his family home to house his collections, which then lay untouched for a decade or two BUT the treasures are organised into a specific space and occasionally turned over if he can't find a new space to carve off for the latest hobby.

It's no joke. My MIL is a hoarder. We tried to help her clean out her basement, she panicked because I threw away McCalls magazines that were soaked from when the basement flooded - 20 years ago. She yelled at me telling me you cannot get those magazines anymore and she was saving the recipes (she does not cook). When her husband died. she forced us to shred every piece of mail they had saved - 20 years of unopened mail - that she said we had to open every piece of mail and shred and if you opened something when she was not in the room, god help you.

IMO, if you want to keep your "stuff" at a reasonable level, there is *always* a chance that you will regret throwing out something. This applies to maybe 2% of the items you cull from your belongings. That's just part of life. The tradeoff is that you know what you have and what you don't have. You're not buying a 19th pair of scissors because you can't find the other 18 pairs (they're somewhere around here, just can't find them right now).

I think there's a correlation between homelessness and hoarding. There's a shit ton of homeless encampments in my neighborhood and it's dismaying how much SHIT they have. The city will flush them out and it always involves a couple of dump trucks, a bobcat or two and reluctant city workers to clear them out. Next time you see an encampment watch them and think of this: they're ALWAYS fucking around with their hoards, moving this pile of shit to that suitcase or digging around in the fourth trash bag and scoping out the neighborhood dumpsters for more shit to add to the piles. My neighborhood's NextDoor page is full of accounts of theft and piles of human shit in alleyways and driveways.

Cut me and I bleed blue but I'm fucking SICK of their bullshit.

I do wonder if this compulsion increases with age? I wonder if it’s an illusion of security or a coping with their own mortality?

R15, I think it’s more of a “there but for grace of god, go I” psychology.

My MIL blames it on her "generation" and how they didn't have anything so they save everything. She is overly sentimental. She attaches meaning to everything. She has a 30-year-old lime green polyester suit coat for a 10-year-old in the front closet. I wanted to throw it out and she started crying. She was saving it for her nephew who is 17. I told her no one would even want to wear it, it was hideous. She switched from crying to anger. She lashed out and told me who was i to judge style? Guess where the coat is now? In her hall closet.

That's maddening r97. You see that on Hoarders all the time, people who have sentimental attachments to worthless junk. It amazes me that the family and even the therapists and cleaning guys don't throttle these people.

I’d fuck cleaning pro Cory Chalmers for sure. He’s kind of studly. Yee-Haw.

And probably chunky little Matt Paxton, too.

I binged this show last year and watched all the episodes. Sherry was probably my absolute least favorite. She was infuriating. Roaches everywhere, insulin needles, depends. She was an absolute pig. I felt so bad for her daughter.

And there was another one where a 50 something year old man was a hoarder, and his son and daughter in law would drop off their 4 kids everyday for grandpa to babysit, and they claimed they had no idea his house was a death trap. The son got in his father’s face yelling “you endangered my kids!” I was like, bitch, please, you want free child care and don’t care that your kids could die in the mess. Stfu.

I’d like to see some more updates on the hoarders.

Yeah, Cory makes me hot too.

A fair number of the hoarders profiled on this show are older and have health problems and look like they have maybe three years left if they're lucky. In those cases I think "why even bother?"

I can’t with Corey he’s always got a major “cold sore” on his lip and it kills the hotness. 😵‍💫

Hoarding runs down my father’s side of the family. My brother had it, my grandfather has it. I have to be careful. After having to deal with both my grandfather and brother’s out of control homes, my anxiety level starts climbing if someone even mentions the word.

The research is fascinating. Depression is a huge factor. Some think it’s in the genes and not strictly a learned behavior.

I've never seen a cold sore

[quote] The research is fascinating. Depression is a huge factor. Some think it’s in the genes and not strictly a learned behavior.

Yes, it does seem like all the hoarders were depressed. I do think hoarding does have a genetic factor (not just a learned behavior).

In my year of full time drinking, a fb asked me to help clean somebody's house - garbage can next to the recliner, soda bottles as ashtrays, kitchen filled with half empty frozen dinner trays, pizza boxes and clothes thrown everywhere, stacks of magazines and a bathroom with balled up sanitary napkins next to the toilet.

The fb said it had been a week since his last visit; the first cleaning took 40 hours with the father standing guard over the trash bins.

The father owned the building and paid for cleaning and laundry. The daughter had a few degrees and taught adjunct.

With the father standing guard over the trash bins.

Why?

I see many of these hoarders getting into a snowballing situation where they get so overwhelmed they don't know how to get out of it. Same thing with overweight people, they gain 20, 30, 40 pounds and they don't know where to begin to lose it. I'm talking about otherwise mentally normal types, not the 600 pounders or the ones where their house it condemned.

My favorite hoarder is Denise of Chicago. A series of events plus depression has put her in a hole. She knows she's a hoarder and wants help. Not only is her house a pigsty, her house is in foreclosure and the tenant's apt is overrun with mice. I wonder what happened to Denise:

R8 I remember that one and her sister freaking out when she visited.

The freaked out neighbor or family seeing the hoard for the first time is my favorite scene in every episode. This is Denise's neighbor Barbara conveniently sitting on the stoop of her building so she can be invited up. Excellent performance, Barbara!

I love it when Dr. Melva Green changes wigs mid-show.

OP here; this has all been very illuminating. I had a zoom thing last night (not for work) and hid the video; most everyone, including me, was muted; while it was going on, I picked up a year's worth of magazines that I buy only for one column in it.

I tore out the column of like 52 issues and this morning an entire bag of magazines (minus the one column from each issue) went out.

It's not much but it's a start.

This weekend, I'm setting time aside to hit the closets and clothes that don't fit and are never going to are going out.

My friends dad was a major hoarder. However, if this makes any sense, his place wasn't dirty/filthy. Everything was meticulously organized, you just barely had any room to walk around in his house. In particular, he would save flyers and junk mail for some strange reason. He would stack them neatly on top of each other, they were all the way to the ceiling. The areas of his house you could walk into, like the kitchen or the bathroom, were spotless.

My mom would go into hysterics whenever I went through her mail when I visited. She’d go back into the trash and tape together junk mail. I’d find it the next time I went through it- neatly sorted and back where it was before.

She always had tons of stuff she’d carry with her, flashlights, sugar packets, deeds to property, decades-old rent receipts- tons of stuff- even if going to the corner store she insisted on taking her pocketbook and had a beach bag-sized one that kept growing and eventually was so heavy, one day she fell over at the bank trying to carry it over her shoulder!

When we got home I promptly grabbed the bag and dumped everything out on the floor and confiscated all other bags in the house but a tiny one. I had to trot a good mile away from her home and dump them in a different dumpster than the one she uses in her complex- or she would’ve gone back to get them.

The same thing with her shoes, they were split and worn, a chunk of the sole held on with laces- and I had to yank them off her feet and run out the door with them- as she had two brand new pair sitting in their boxes for MONTHS, same exact size and model and she still insisted on wearing the old ones until I got fed up with her behavior and threw them out.

R114 here again - when we finally put my junk mail aficionado mom in a nursing home just before shutdown, I got to visit her a year and a half later a few weeks ago and opened her dresser drawer- only to find she had kept every single daily food paper menu that she received since admission- hundreds of them stacked inside a FedEx envelope.

Old habits never die!

r44, I understand completely. My partner isn't a hoarder but he does have some mental illness issues (though has avoided getting diagnoses beyond GAD) and he's been to see seven therapists and with every single one, after several visits, suddenly he doesn't like them anymore and he won't continue to go. He once accidentally revealed he'd been lying to a therapist the whole time he went.

He knows he's got a problem that needs professional treatment but avoids treatment as much as possible. Logically I know it's part of the illness but it's incredibly difficult to not blame him for deliberately making bad choices.

The missing dead kittens episode was classic. Comedy gold.

The only thing I hoard is cloths because I have the delusion that some day I will fit in those again. Yeah, mental illness.

If you think about it, the instinct for hoarding is not a bad trait for one person to have in a group of hunter gatherers moving from campsite to campsite. They're prepared to carry the extra weight of broken flints, worn out baskets and a spare elk shoulder blade "just in case" while everyone else travels light. You can imagine there are plenty of situations where their hoarding might save lives. But in this modern world of over abundance that old instinct has become a terrible burden for those who can't control it.

Back on the savanna your hoard was as much as a single adult could carry, today.....

Slightly off-topic. Have you every noticed that people with messy desks have very organized minds, and people with organized desks have very messy minds?

Were they sackcloths, R118?

[quote] Slightly off-topic. Have you every noticed that people with messy desks have very organized minds, and people with organized desks have very messy minds?

No, I haven't noticed that.

R97, I would add to that - the older generations didn't have the ability to quickly purchase things online - so when you found that unique bric a brac shelf you kept it forever in the garage. Nowadays, when you're serious about buying, you can go to an antique shop that has an internet page.

What the hell is a "messy mind" and how would one diagnose that??

Such stupid shit gets posted here.

Talk to a lawyer, R124. But first look at the desk.

When we cleaned out my MIL basement we put all the stuff getting thrown out on the curb. The neighbor came over and asked if my MIL was moving out. I told her no, this was just what we were throwing out of hte basement. She goes "how much does she have in that house??"

r118 By the time you can fit into those clothes again, they'll be horribly out of style and may not fit you well either. If youre curious about getting back into a specific size or what they'll look like when you lose the weight, keep one pair of pants, one shirt....Clear out the rest. It's probably worthless unless its designer brand stuff you can put on poshmark for some extra cash

[quote]Have you every noticed that people with messy desks have very organized minds, and people with organized desks have very messy minds?

There is a lot of truth to that. People with messy desks tend to be more creative types. People with perfectly organized desks tend to tend to have a lot of physiological issues like OCD, Bipolar, Narcissism, Addiction, Borderline etc. They say things like "I cant think if my desk is out of place".

The people that kill me are the ones who complain about ness while you are doing something.

*mess

Thr question

I think a lot of elder gays of yesteryear are horaders. The ones the grew up with Boys in the Band as their mantra. Now in their 60's 70's and 80's they tend to have houses filled to the brim with antiques no one wants. That fad and look died out decades ago but not for them. I will probably get flamed just for saying that.

When I was a social worker at a hospital, we had this diabetic guy come in who had a prosthetic leg. He gave me permission to go to his home to go get his leg because he needed it for physio. I was warned I’d likely need to wear protective gear. They weren’t kidding. I’d never seen a real life hoarder. There were little trails to walk through the house, and dog and cat poop everywhere. The basement stairs were loaded with trash bags full of stuff. I have no idea how he moved around that house on a prosthetic leg.

R120 , yes.

R127, OP here; you've made a great point; I've spent the weekend going through my closets and all my clothes. I have two trash bags filled to go to goodwill/thrift store; first, I'm going to go through them one last time and pick out the designer stuff and see if I can get a couple of bucks for them at a resale place, but you've inspired me to go through the closets one more time...even if I fit into the stuff again, it won't be the same.

I remember years ago when I had lost 40 lbs. People called me skinny and I felt great and looked so much better but the old stuff never really fit the way it did the first time.

I'll treat myself to new clothes once I take the weight off (again!)

I am on the fence about renting a small storage unit solely for my comic book collection. 3 x 5 feet. I want to get about 30 short boxes in storage -- at least long enough to get the rest of the place cleared out and organized.

I know for now I want to keep the comic books but if I can get them out of here for a while I'll be able to get to the other crap that definitely needs to go.

I have a really hard time getting rid of things that were gifts. Even if they're completely useless.

Can't stand Matt Paxton, what a dick. I generally like the other specialists.

R135 have a set plan about a storage unit. They can be a trap for not dealing with clutter—out of sight, out of mind…

r135 I do that twice a year. Go through my closet and get rid of anything I haven't warn or doesn't fit or I just think why did I buy that? Donate it all to the veterans. Now when I shop I am ultra-conservative on clothes thinking "will I just give it to a vet in six months?"

I can't even leave a dirty dish or glass in the sink I'm so OCD. I watch Hoarders in morbid fascination because I am astounded at how people can live like that.

My pick for the most disgusting person from [italic]Hoarders[/italic] is Augustine from New Orleans.

R137, I will, thanks. I am tackling the bedroom first; last night I disassembled a stacking unit in there (effective but unattractive and not dealing with the situation): I've been able to move some furniture that was blocking other furniture in that place; I need to keep tossing to create more room.

I think if I get the comics out of here for two months I can really get to the other stuff and create more space; hopefully enough to get the comics back in (and then sell half to 75% of them); I can use the money to get digital copies. I've talked about doing this for years and now I'm taking steps.

Fingers crossed I keep going.

Augustine was what in the South they call "touched."

I like that lady’s accent at r140

How many roooostuhs does she hay-av?

Laura's sons are smoking hot.

R137 here good luck, r141. It’s tough to stay motivated. I have health issues so I tend to take breaks. I also make a list of goals for certain days. That way there is some tangible structure. I’m a horrible procrastinator so it has helped since I’m generally too tired by the end of the day. Easy to make excuses.

OMG r144 that family is SO New York, I love it!

R145, R141/OP here.

I get tired too; I've recently started taking magnesium -- not sure if it's a placebo effect or not but I feel I have a smidge more energy.

for years, I've been paralyzed; don't get the storage unit; deal with the stuff; wait, maybe get the unit; put the stuff you know you want to keep there so you can get to the trash...

I realize now the important thing is to just try to do something every day, even if it's small.

I also have a cleaning lady coming to help me; I find I tend to throw out stuff more if somewhere is here literally holding the bag.

Don't get a storage unit OP, you will never get rid of the junk in it. I had a friend that did that for what he thought would only be 6 months. Then 6 turned into 1 year and 1 year turned into 10. When he finally deiced to clean it out he realized he paid thousand and thousands of dollars for what was basically yard sale crap. He saved one thing out of that whole ordeal. Unless you have thinks worth thousand of dollars that can be sold at auction in one big sale or some very precious family heirloom not worth it. I know you said you have comic books, but are you really going to sit there selling them one by one?

I would also vote against a storage unit. You will probably never stop renting it. You’ll have more room in your house for more stuff, including comics. Then, if you stop paying rent on the storage unit, poof, your comics are gone.

I "temporarily" stored an old car I was going to have restored and the next thing I knew, it had been eight years and the restoration folks I was going to use had moved to a bigger city several hours away. Decided to sell the car and didn't quite recoup the cost of the storage.

Do NOT put anything in storage. Out of site, out of mind.

Delta Burke used to have 12 storage unites during her days on Designing Women. She had a shopping addiction. Ordered things she never even opened. That should tell you everything you need to know about storage units.

I think the general issue is, why drag these mentally sick people, and their home's condition, in front of a camera? On one hand, it can scare viewers straight with their own early stages of clutter and hoarding and maybe even show compassion towards people going through that. On the other hand, they are exploited as freak entertainment.

It's show business R152 not show therapy.

Both of those things could be true at the same time.

[quote] I think the general issue is, why drag these mentally sick people, and their home's condition, in front of a camera?

I think the Hoarders shows made people realize that hoarding is a disorder or a sickness. It's not just being a "pack rat" or a "junk collector." The shows were probably more helpful to the families of hoarders rather than the hoarders themselves. (Feeling validated helps a lot.)

The families of the hoarders featured on "Hoarders" were at the end of their ropes dealing with the hoarder family member. The tradeoff was that the hoarder got a therapist, a professional home organizer, and all those "Got Junk" trucks to haul shit away. (It's actually expensive to rent a Dumpster.)

all good advice on the storage unit.

I've been putting it off for the very reasons you've all listed; I'll have it forever; I'll never deal with the stuff once it's out of sight.

Here's the plan: get the storage unit; $115 a month. put all the comics in there; then clear out the junk in my apartment and then bring the comics back in when I have more room.

I'll post an update in 2 or 3 months and hopefully, the unit will be gone.

the comics are all mostly Bronze Age; I can get some bucks for them once I start selling.

[quote]I'll post an update in 2 or 3 months and hopefully, the unit will be gone.

So 2 to 3 years then.

[quote] I've been putting it off for the very reasons you've all listed; I'll have it forever; I'll never deal with the stuff once it's out of sight.

[quote] Here's the plan: get the storage unit; $115 a month. put all the comics in there; then clear out the junk in my apartment and then bring the comics back in when I have more room.

[quote] I'll post an update in 2 or 3 months and hopefully, the unit will be gone.

You acknowledge all the pitfalls and "hope" that the unit will be "gone" in 2-3 months. I don't understand why you can't clear out junk without putting these comics in storage. Start with a large piece of unused furniture. Boom. There's now space for your comics.

[quote]the comics are all mostly Bronze Age; I can get some bucks for them once I start selling.

But how are you going to start selling if they're in a storage cubicle?

all good advice, everyone; I'll skip the unit and continue to work around the stuff I do want to keep and toss the stuff I don't.

thanks!

The new season of hoarders on netflix features one subject and usually large properties that require many tons of junk removal....

Yes, some of the subjects welcome the help. They all fall back into warped thinking though. It's a disease of the mind. They are not being exploited because they are given help and for the first time, we hear a price being attached to the junk pickup and removal costs--over $100k for one of the properties just to get shit removed so the county doesnt take the house.

just for variety I'd like to see a smaller scale operation; someone who has clutter and is overwhelmed.

not someone deeply disturbed.

The UK has a show called "Call the Cleaners" that covers a lot of different situations.

[quote]just for variety I'd like to see a smaller scale operation; someone who has clutter and is overwhelmed.

It's been done.

R162 see R108

Corey Chalmers is a closet MAGA idiot.

Watching hoarders now - they need to drug these fools while the cleanup is going on and just throw everything away (I know this doesn’t work, but enough is enough with these people)

A lot of these people are so old, they wouldn’t be able to collect all this shit again

I always feel sorry for the neighbors of these filthy pigs. Of course there's the eyesore factor, but so many of these hoarder homes are infested with vermin, and it spreads. Can you imagine being a clean person who keeps your house tidy but you get infestations of roaches and mice etc. from your hoarder neighbor? I would be absolutely insane.

[quote]A lot of these people are so old, they wouldn’t be able to collect all this shit again

Yes, many of them are ancient and already look like they don't have even five years left. At that point it's like "why bother? Let them live in their filth because they're not long for this world anyway. It's way too late."

Here is a plan, get a storage unit move all your stuff to it, live in it. Fake your own death, burn down your house and move to Bogata. Change your name to Lipo Consuelo.

I'm the anti hoarder. I'm currently gutting my closets and kitchen cabinets. I do that every couple of years. I hate accumulating stuff. It gives me anxiety.

A lot of people seem to watch this show that have extreme anti-hoarder issues. Same with My 600 Pound Life. There is very little sympathy for these unfortunate people, and a lot of disproportionate anger and hatred.

[quote] I'm currently gutting my closets and kitchen cabinets.

What does “gutting” mean, R171?

I watched one of the new episodes and it gave me anxiety. The guy mourning his dead wife and crying every fifteen minutes was very sad, but you slowly tired of going between crying jags and being him huffy about the cleanup. Ultimately it’s like having the patient awake during a badly needed surgery.

Dr. Zasio, or whatever her name is, needs to have her license revoked. She causes more harm than good.

I have been doing major cleanup and donated or sold a lot of stuff. When you learn what a hassle it is to get someone to pay you for something—and drive over to pick it up—you get more on board with donating.

My goal is to live a very minimal life. It’s not easy, and I have a storage unit to tackle next. I can say that it gets much easier to let go of things, and you see what an albatross it is to hold on to too much stuff. I’ve become a lot more realistic about my future, and seeing these old people freaking out over throwing out used clothing—or being too old to move things—has been a reality check.

I wasn't able to get anyone to come pick up my stuff to donate so I started giving it away on a local Buy Nothing group, but last week it rained every day and this week it was poor air quality from wildfire smoke, and no one wants to come out to get anything. Starting to get very frustrated. Much prefer selling small items online so I can just ship them.

If she was alive, my aunt would have to be forced to watch shows like Hoarders and 1,000 Sisters. She was such a neat freak size 8 perfectionist those shows would give her heart failure or produced a years long anxiety attack.

Most the problem isn’t hoarding, it’s online shopping and wasting time online—or buying more crap at second hand stores instead of doing menial tasks like laundry, the dishes, cleaning, etc A lot of people are compulsively drawn to do things that consume their time (video games, bingeing TV shows) and they don’t make time to do daily life maintenance. That’s why things are so complicated later because it perpetuates a messy and dirty home that gets the best of them.

R179 A very astute and insightful observation and conclusion. From simply messy, cluttered homes to full on hoarding…this fits for many.

OP here.

I feel like I'm at a halfway point. Or maybe I"m at the beginning of the beginning.

I went ahead and rented a 3 x 5 storage unit; it's nearly filled with a library I want to keep; books; videos, etc. $1 for the first full month.

This has allowed me to get to the stuff I need to toss and feel less overwhelmed.

I've made about 4 trips to the local goodwill; trash bags filled with clothes, DVD towers, a Keurig coffee machine I never used; bags and bags and bags of trash have gone out.. This weekend the plan is to do more trips to Goodwill and more and more bags of trash to go out.

I'm finding it's easier to let go of things the more I let go of things.

Once I've gone through this place a few times, I'll see what kind of room that opens up; and then see if there's room to bring the library back in.

Wish me luck!

Beware of excess moisture and potential mildew of books and videos in a storage unit, R181.

Great to hear r191. The challenges is not resorting to what they call churning, where you just reorganize stuff in a different place or different way.

[quote] I went ahead and rented a 3 x 5 storage unit; it's nearly filled with a library I want to keep; books; videos, etc. $1 for the first full month.... I'll see what kind of room that opens up; and then see if there's room to bring the library back in.

OP, please make it a goal to bring those comic books back into your living space. What good is is to have your precious comics in a storage unit. I don't care if it was $1 for the first full month. Storage units are, generally, a waste of money.

Anyway, glad you really are getting rid of stuff. Please beware of churning, like R183 mentioned.

Good luck.

yeah, I'm being conscious of 'am I just moving stuff around?' but so much is going out out out...

I've realized that even if I slim down clothes never really fit the same way as things shift around....

this weekend the goal is to bring a bag of designer stuff to a resale store and hopefully make some bucks.

And I agree the comics need to come back in for a variety of reasons.

am looking into some therapy to deal with WHY I let all this stuff pile up; I wonder if it's genetic? I had an aunt who couldn't let go of stuff. I need my act 3 to be less cluttered.

Thanks for the support everyone.

[quote] am looking into some therapy to deal with WHY I let all this stuff pile up; I wonder if it's genetic? I had an aunt who couldn't let go of stuff. I need my act 3 to be less cluttered.

Try it, OP. Why not. If you feel a certain therapist doesn't understand your situation, find another therapist. There are some therapists out there who will understand hoarding tendencies.

My concern is that you are clearing out space only to bring in more stuff. So, it's good to seek the root of the behavior in the first place.

You're doing so good, OP, really taking action.

Agree r175. All the therapists on the show suck. All the people on the show are way beyond talk therapy. They need strong strong meds, and in patient care. I think there is a reason we don’t see follow-up shows on any of these people. They either die, become homeless, or go right back to hoarding

I know it doesn’t make for good TV though.

Hoarders is like watching porn for me. I am grateful I'm not one of those 'oh, we found a dead cat under the bed' people. I don't have any rotting food in the fridge.

I'm actually also the 'I bought a new fridge' poster -- It's a bottom freezer / counter depth fridge and I can see all the food when I open the door; once a week I go through it and say okay, this is bad or going bad; out it goes.

I figure this is a three step process; 1) throw out and give away as much as humanly possible 2) get organized and 3) get therapy

r187 Hoarders has done a number of follow-up shows.

My sister is like this with clothes. She still has clothes from the 80's she won't get rid of like freaking Z. Cavaricci pants she'll never fit into for the rest of her life - she's 49 and like 300 lbs now.

I dropped $600 on a purple Z. Cavaricci suit R190 . Purple ! That was 1980s dollars too ! It went out of fashion before I could wear it the first time. It hung in my closet for years as a reminder to never be that stupid again !

Dropped off 4 suitcases today at Good Will; three were in storage in my carport double wrapped in plastic bags. One was in the apt. (Some of the cases were filled with clothes and blankets).

I said to the kid at Good Will handling the donations; I only hung onto these till I knew I wasn't going (moving) home anymore.

Not sure if I mentioned but both parents are gone. I'm in LA.

There's still so much more today, but I have all day Sunday tomorrow to tackle even more.

I said to the kid at Good Will handling the donations; I only hung onto these till I knew I wasn't going (moving) home anymore.

You don’t travel at all?

R193, not anymore. Surviving parent died last year; I'll travel for a memorial someday - we're being cautious with COIVD b/c this is NOT over.

I do have one small suitcase I kept for trips. I just didn't need the ones I gave away;

more is going out today and I'm thrilled.

I hope I can keep this going.

[quote]I've known four hoarders. One of them on Sunday drives would pick up junk at overpasses

R26 Can you explain this? Trying to figure it out. Why is there junk at overpasses, particularly?

NOTE TO HOARDERS: Big Brothers Big Sisters no longer takes records or books!

Years ago, an old lady lived with her adult son. Unknown to him, she continued to pay rent on an apartment down the hall from me, which she used for hoarding purposes. By the time it came to light while I lived there (I don't recall that she had actually died), the son was forced to contract for a full-sized dumpster/skip, which I believe had to be emptied more than once, as well as a full-time crew who took a few days to clear out a simple one-bedroom place.

Hmm, R197. I was thinking of renting a small apt a few floors down from mine for the same purpose.

After that, they started a mandatory annual walk-through (with notice). The manager mentioned that they found a bathroom ceiling on the verge of caving-in where the tenant should have notified them far earlier as an obvious problem.

I don't get R198's "joke" (dig?).

Not a joke, doofus.

I actually work at a place with a custodian who is a hoarder. Before he was hired, the previous custodian kept his area and the various rooms neat, but this one first filled up his office with junk (not completely full, but a real mess of stuff), then started filling up the hallways. He has many cans of air freshener lined up, for ex., each probably with a few sprays left in it, empty boxed to the ceiling...we can't throw things out that are broken because he will take them out of the trash and keep them. People take stuff home sometimes because they don't want what they throw out to just show up in the hoard. He even keeps empty bottles and cans that he picks out of the recycle bin, old paperback books, pens that no longer work, etc.

Op, here; fortunately, I'm finding so far I don't miss for a single second anything I'm tossing or giving away; I've heard of people going through the trash to get stuff back their families have tossed; that urge isn't hitting me.

I should have taken photos at the beginning of this but ....I just can't wait till I have more room here.

Denise (above) made them go through the bags of trash from her apt to retrieve her purse and cell phone!

The Hoarders tend to treat the cleaning crew like shit, which is horrible.

I live in an area that is mostly new sub divisions .Around the corner from me was a modest 1940s era home behind some huge bushes .You could see that there was lots of stuff in the yard ,but you couldnt see the house or most of the property very well. I guess whoever lived there died,because someone cut all the bushes down and my god but that yard was packed ! Over the space of a week or two,I watched dumpster after dumpster being loaded up with crap from the yard and house. Whomever lived there would have been perfect for Hoarders . It made me kind of sad because whoever lived there had made all kinds of funky yard art and some of it was really cool.

All of their precious stuff goes right into the dumpster when they're gone.

[quote] Hmm, [R197]. I was thinking of renting a small apt a few floors down from mine for the same purpose.

R198, I hope you don't do that (rent a neighboring apartment for hoarding purposes).

My mother would keep old batteries, dried out pens, and one time I opened the cabinet above the stove and found dozens of styrofoam containers neatly stacked. She had cleaned every Chinese takeout containers and saved them over the years.

When she moved out of her house my brother needed two full sized industrial dumpsters, There’s a genetic trait for hoarding so I’m careful since my husband noticed years ago how hard it is for me to part with certain things. I’ve learned that I overdue shopping because as a boy growing up poor, we went without things like enough clothing and food, so I overdid it for many years, especially with affordable shopping like Trader Joe’s or H&M, and when we moved from NYC to Tampa- Walmart.

I LOVE Walmart, but take deliberate steps to only shop once a week and carefully review my purchases, if I really need them, and what is the life cycle of the purchase, if it’s needed immediately or if I could delay or do without.I also stopped buying meat and anything non organic as it was loaded with chemicals.

I remove about about half of them. I’ve found that companies have made it so easy to buy, and you actually have to consciously push back.

I think the tendency to become a harder is partially genetic, and not always the result of depression or full blown mental illness, but the people on the show are so extreme that they are usually mentally ill. My paternal grandparents were light to moderate hoarders: they were social people, always at the neighborhood senior center and always personally well groomed. Their apartment was cluttered and not overly clean, but things were generally organized, and even in my dad's old bedroom which was pretty much piled floor to ceiling with "stuff" by the time they died wasn't filthy or impassible.

But they definitely hoarded - grandpa had shirt boxed full of hundreds of ties, there were unused towel sets in the drawers and in the spare bedroom I found everything from a box full of burnt out light bulbs to all the cards from my dad's first birthday. My dad has the "saver" gene but my mom always keeps things in check; of his own volition he has spent most of Covid going through all his books and papers and file cabinets, getting rid of seventy percent of his stuff. I know I have the tendency too -- I've always been a saver and a collector and I have a few hundred books. Since I'm single and sloppy by nature I can let the apartment get out of hand, not dirty, but disorganized with piles and half finished projects all over.

I watch episodes of Hoarders from time to as aversion therapy; and over the last year I have been going through, reassessing and trying to get rid of unnecessary things, but books and personal ephemera are a tough for me. My goal is to have everything I keep have a place, and keep the apartment neat enough so I'd always be comfortable for a friend drop over -- which has often not been the case. I do worry about things getting really out of hand once I'm older, so I'm doing preemptive work now.

Ever see a car where the owner has filled the whole thing with junk, so there's only a small space for the driver to crawl in and drive, or see out the windshield? There was a car/driver like that around my home town for years.

Also there was an old house in another town, where a hoarder lived. The inside and outside were piled with trash. The owner tore down the big old house, built a ranch house, painted it white, and it looked great until that too started to be filled and surrounded by trash.

I also overdo it on the grocery shopping, r208. I have a real issue with food, we ate terribly when I was a kid, the same few cheap meals over and over as mom saved money for tuition to go to nursing school. Even when we started doing better financially we always had cheap, nasty food, and I'd be told I couldn't get things like fresh tomatoes or peaches and should just go eat some old oyster crackers with margarine if I wanted a snack. Now, I find myself buying too much food, or saving little bits of food that no one is ever going to eat but I feel like I can't waste it because it's a fresh vegetable or a few pieces of shrimp.

R211, when I was single and started making good money, I always had a full pantry and could whip up a dish and had lots of canned and bagged food. My husband insists on everything fresh now and we only buy for two days out. I also save small amounts of food and get upset when I have to toss food.

I don’t thunk I have an illness but definitely had to apply awareness that some of my habits could be problematic and one large piece was that I spent years improving my credit to buy my home and refuse to go back into debt. I’m also 52, and have pretty much everything I need.

I’ve noticed lately if I park an online shopping item and don’t buy it, they will haunt you endlessly until you do, repositioning the offer or offering discounts- also showing ads related to the shopping, it really is something that would be an issue if I wasn’t aware I had a problem.

[quote] when I was single and started making good money, I always had a full pantry and could whip up a dish and had lots of canned and bagged food. My husband insists on everything fresh now and we only buy for two days out.

IMO, husband's method is not great. I'm no hoarder, but if Covid taught us anything, it's to be prepared for supermarket food shortages. I'm not saying to be a doomsday prepper, but having some dried pasta, oats, and other kinds of everyday pantry items is a good idea.

This is why I like being single. I can make my own decisions about stuff like this.

A few years ago, a neighbor died when his condominium caught fire. The newspaper report said that he was a hoarder, and the clutter had prevented him from escaping the fire. Maybe the front door was too hot, but the backdoor (to the balcony) was blocked.

When a hoarder finds something they like, they feel like they've struck gold. Their brain releases dopamine, and it gives them a little high. My dad has that trait. After he retired from his government office job, he landed his dream job of working at the local landfill. He would proudly bring presents home for me and other family members. Fortunately, though, he does get rid of stuff when he has too much. He offers rusty, barely working tools and other things to neighbors and friends; he doesn't understand that some people would prefer to receive things that are in new or like-new condition.

Ann Miller was kind of bad

With older people, don't discount what the Depression and WW2 did to their minds. My wealthy Upper East Side mother was terrified of "wasting" batteries, and she was very upset that I didn't save uneaten rice from Chinese take out. In her case, saving things, being afraid of not having other things - all a factor from living through the Depression, imho. Btw, she was not a hoarder, never hoarded anything.

My un-wealthy parents and grandparents lived through the Depression and WWII and weren't ever big on saving stuff.

Then there are the people who hoard trash. Not because they want to keep it, but because they're too lazy to put it in a trash can and carry it out a couple times a week. A couple of times, I went into someone's home and was shocked to see how they lived. Piles of clothes on the floor...in the living room. Toys and trash strewn about. One family had a pet parrot, and under his stand was a foot-tall pile of droppings. There were patches of carpet missing from the hallway. It was disgusting. I don't know why I was surprised. The outside of their house looked pretty trashy too.

I don't understand people hoarding aluminum soda cans. The kind you can redeem for cash. I'd be gathering my soda cans in a Hefty bag and going down to the recycling center ASAP.

If you know any EMTs they all have stories about hoarders.

R217, what are you doing here?

I used to love going to garage sales and fairs and bringing home boxes of LPs and books. The internet has changed all that. Now I know when I want something, even a rare item, I can find it easily online. OTOH, the fun of the discovery has gone.

Still can't get rid of most of the stuff I hoarded in my younger years, or my parents' stuff, but I'm not bringing in anything anymore.

I'm the opposite of a hoarder, I can't stand clutter. Can't stand it. Hate Knicknacks on surfaces, too. Everything has to be clean and orderly at all times and I throw a lot of stuff away.

I guess it's the German in me.

People seem so focused on knick-knacks and decorative stuff. If you look at Apartment Therapy or YouTube house tours, the camera lingers on decorative stuff and house plants. In reality, people really need help with the bones of their houses, not house plants and little sculptures.

I always wonder how do these people hide this shit from work. None of them are an example of good hygiene so I am sure they smell literally like shit when they go into the office. I cant imaging their space being highly organized or car not being as littered with old food containers.

When I was in high school this girl who liked me who I hung around with sometimes asked me over to her house, when were had been out somewhere. It was the messiest house I've ever been in. From the outside it looked fine, it was sort of a big, newish-looking, expensive house. From the first step in the house, the floors were covered with clothes, toys, all the counters were covered with stuff, every bedroom was a mess. It's not like me to comment on someone's house in a negative way but I just went "Holy fuck, what a shithole, what's wrong with you people??" But she just shrugged it off.

There's no such thing as a clean hoarder's house. Mice and rats get into those huge piles and make nice homes, reproduce, pee, shit, etc....

Most hoarders also refuse to let people in their homes due to embarrassment so they get run down in a ton of other ways also. no upkeep. things just break one by one until the house is fully unusable. First its a washer/dryer. Then dishwasher. Then toilet/shower.

Many houses on Hoarders have plumbing that doesn't work because the homeowner is too embarrassed to let a plumber in. That's when the shitting in the backyard happens.

It really should be called houses of the mentally ill. That's what it actually is. Calling them "hoarders" when everyone knows the root cause is some form of mental illness is involved, even to the point the show always has some kind of mental counseling on the team kind of says it all.

It's kind of like they want it both ways. Don't call them mentally ill, come up with a softer term like Hoarders, like someone just happens to have a goofy quirk. But make fun of Hoarders and you will be schooled how they are mentally ill. Catch 22.

[quote]Mice and rats get into those huge piles and make nice homes, reproduce, pee, shit, etc....

CHEW, mice chew through everything - floor boards, house frames, anything their obnoxious teeth can cut through.

A guy from my town was on the show a few years ago. He lived in a trailer that was crammed full of stuff. He didn't want to let go of any of his ten sauce pots because somebody might not treat them nicely. It was really crazy. The show cleaned up the trailer and all around the outside, and it's now back to just how it was when they left.

He's a very sweet man, but they didn't "fix" the problem at all. I'm not sure at this point anything could.

I believe they will one day find out there's a genetic component. I already read, their mind has an abnormal ability to make piles of junk look invisible , they don't register seeing it. As I've suspected, because I have these tendencies, they can feel commitment toward ridding themselves of stuff. However, once they actually begin throwing things away they get bogged down by details about the item. It's like an inability to see a forest of sh.t, and a hyper-awareness about each piddly little thing.

Yes, it is that bad. I worked on a TV pilot on a hoarding situation. It was so bad that the policeman who responded to the call vomited and cried. There were blind cats from malnutrition. They took cat upon car from the home, most probably euthanized. There were flat cats. The stench was so bad even though I was posted several yards from the house I noticed the next day my clothing REEKED, had to be thrown away. The woman lived a life having been traumatized by an abusive ex, had probably been conditioned from abusive parents to not know any better, and it was suspected she was being financially abused by her adult son. Tragic. Authorities were involved.

R225, there are two hoarders at my job. One has papers and books piled six feet high with a narrow path to their desk, the atmosphere is more cluttered than dirty. The other is just filled with junk - personal effects (A LOT of Beanie Babies and dolls), old food wrappers, napkins, and bottles, and a mess of old papers. It stinks to high heaven if you get past the doorway.

Management does nothing because we belong to a great union and a lot of strange behavior gets ignored in academia.

I've worked (office job) with hoarders as well. In an office of approx. 70 people, there were several obvious hoarders. My office was right next to one of the hoarders. She tried to place something in my doorway (partially blocking) and I told her to remove the item as it was a safety issue, impeding my ingress and egress.

There was one specific guy that was the most obvious hoarder. He made regular shopping trips to Ross and bought all kinds of knick-knacks. His immediate supervisor attempted to crack down on the hoarding (both non-union) and, believe it or not, there were a couple of people who actually sympathized with the hoarder.

That hoarder had other issues and actually found another job (a pretty good job, actually), where he was eventually asked to either resign or get fired. He resigned, I heard.

[quote]a lot of strange behavior gets ignored in academia.

Yeah, what's up with that? Students notice right away to the point where people are a known joke on campus yet they never get called out on it. It's like that in both public and private schools, union and non-union. You can even see this with some of the TV experts or professors from various institutes of education.

The only theory I have to go on is that the average burn out rate for teaching is 3 to 5 years. People who don't get out either have amazing conviction or a screw loose.

One freaky-ass colleague hoarded mini-bagels. Bags and bags of mini-bagels in her cubicle. She was a hot mess.

R155 How did you go with sorting your items? Have you made sure not to just move it to storage and leave it, but sort through it? Down here in Australia we have a lot of charity stores not really taking a lot of donations as being in lockdown for months on end people just cleaned. I understand charities saying "don't give us your crap, your ripped clothes or soiled bedding". I ended up cleaning a lot and it was wonderful to go through things, I found it therapeutic, but also it felt therapeutic when I threw junk away or was able to find charities I could take it to and donate. A few charities are cracking down on books etc as well as dvds and cd's as with online streaming they seem to be what people are getting rid of. You see it at the markets where people want a lot of money for second hand books but no one buys them as they are not worth more than a dollar or two. I enjoy going to the markets, the charity stores and looking for rare items but I make sure I ask myself is this something that will clutter or add substance? Is it a good buy or just an instant gratification item that will become clutter after the sheen has worn off? I find as I get older the better I am with this.

My mom was a hoarder and every child of a hoard I've ever met is either an extreme minimalist or something of a hoarder themselves. Sadly, I'm in the latter category. Growing up, I was forbidden from throwing most things out, which I think contributed to my tendencies,

My sister, who became a minimalist, told me that she used to throw out things in secret.

Anyone remember Kay from Buried Alive, the Texas frau with a punch bowl full of roaches? Then her daughter found a dead snake in her bedroom. If I remember correctly, the camera crew caught a deadly virus from visiting her house. That was a fucking awesome episode.

I knew a woman who was a partial-hoarder. She’d buy clothes and shoes non-stop and yet she would wear the same shabby outfit day after day. Her house was filled with dusty shoes and clothes with the labels still attached.

Anyone watching the new episode airing right now with eldergay Paul, who lost his dead partner's ashes in his hoard?

[Quote] What does “gutting” mean, [R171]?

Emptying completely, then putting back / keeping / reorganizing what you're retaining. Be it a closet, cabinets, etc.

It’s not easy, especially if you take care of your things. But once you see how little people will pay for your crap, you start seeing what a waste and burden it all is. I’m in the process of going through things and getting rid of a lot. I’ve also committed to no more projects, no more pets, no more plants besides the few I have. I’m done with anything that requires care or cleanup.

[quote] But once you see how little people will pay for your crap, you start seeing what a waste and burden it all is.

R244, glad you're going through your things, etc.

The problem is that people are delusional about how much their stuff is actually worth. They don't take into consideration the demand (market), condition (new, used), etc.

I agree people over estimate the worth of items, especially resale of items. I also never got some of the cult collecting like beanie babies etc. I would guess those items are not worth anything now days. And what we value something is normally inflated with sentimental emotions now the value of what someone will give you in cash.

I used to buy records - LPs - over and over when I was in my twenties. I'd have four copies of my favorite albums. Then I realized that the thrill was the buying, not the playing. I was seeking the "thrill" of getting a particular album, the copy I already had would last until eternity, I didn't need another. After that, I started selling off, donating, throwing out my old unneeded LPs. Of course I'm not crazy like many of these TV hoarders. There's no reasoning with them.

It's very hard to make any money selling your "stuff" -- acquire things because you want them, or better yet need to use them, not because they "will be worth money someday."

I have a few pieces of art that are now "worth" a good deal more than what I paid for them -- but those valuations, like the prices I originally paid, are gallery "retail" prices; unless I found another collector who wanted exactly what I have I'd never get anywhere near that valuation selling back to a gallery or through an auction house. I'm not expecting any return on investment other than my years of enjoyment, my nieces and nephews will have a nice reminder of me or get whatever they can for them -- won't be my problem.

I read that the "it might be worth money someday" and "I can sell it on eBay" mentalities contributed to the current hoarding epidemic.

Yes most of those people are shopaholics and spend time online instead of doing daily chores. Unnecessary purchases and filth get out of control. People are also trained to believe that the solution to improve your life is acquiring things. And most of these people are trying to outrun the reality they’ve wasted all their money on worthless crap.

"People are also trained to believe that the solution to improve your life is acquiring things"

Our entire economic system is based on this.

I lean in the hoarding direction but am not at all a shopper or an acquirer of objects. Still, I have to be constantly vigilant or things pile up. One issue is dealing with things that have sentimental value, even things that shouldn't, especially gifts that either didn't fit or are never used.

Another issue is that I want to dispose of things properly. I'm not going to set a broken tv or microwave out for bulk trash day, but will instead take it to the electronics recycling center, or more stupidly, try to repair it (it's sometimes worth it). Same with other old electronics and cords. Old batteries, rechargeable batteries--those can't just go in the trash.

Clothing and fabric have accumulated over the years. Some have stains, some have holes, some have wonderful buttons that make me not want to throw them away. They get "churned"--half-organized and re-piled to deal with later. Most should probably go to a textile recycling facility.

Since I seldom buy non-necessities, things aren't out of control. When my mom dies, however, I fear I'm going to end up with a bunch of sentimental stuff that will bog me down. I'd like to build a little pyramid and just stuff it all in there like a low-rent pharaoh when I die.

R252 Start with the clothes. The items that you can't repair or clean, throw away. The items that have nice buttons, just remove the buttons and throw the clothes away.

A nice lady on Reddit has been helping me declutter. She told me to "gamify" decluttering, which is basically setting small goals. She told me to start by throwing away 5 of a specific item. I chose clothes. I ended up throwing away 8 things that day, which while, not a lot, was a big first step for me.

The little person hoarder from a couple of weeks ago seemed thrilled to get her shit cleaned out. She’d already been through therapy for her hoarding and was grateful for the help and didn’t have the usual meltdowns. Luckily for the producers who love to show drama, her sister had a lot of emotional outbursts, as much of the hoard originated with their deceased parents.

[quote]One issue is dealing with things that have sentimental value, even things that shouldn't

This is me, absolutely. Things that should hold no emotional value do, for some reason. I'll still eventually throw things out but then think about them for sometimes years afterwards.

Also, I throw things away that I shouldn't. Not often but sometimes, and it always drives me absolutely batty and makes me reluctant to do any purging because I might lose something I will need later on.

I get attached to t-shirts with quirky / cool graphics -- I have dozens and dozens going back to the 90's. They still fit, but are too outdated for me to wear without looking like someone hopelessly stuck in the past. I have started to go through them and take a picture of the designs. Theres a vintage t-shit place in Hells Kitchen that just opened up -- I'm going to take the one's that are still in good shape and just give them to to them.

[quote] One issue is dealing with things that have sentimental value, even things that shouldn't, especially gifts that either didn't fit or are never used.

How about taking a photo of these things? Create a file folder so that you know where to look.

[quote] Another issue is that I want to dispose of things properly. I'm not going to set a broken tv or microwave out for bulk trash day, but will instead take it to the electronics recycling center, or more stupidly, try to repair it (it's sometimes worth it).

Some things just do have no other place to go than into the trash. You also have to realistically look at how much time you have to devote to *trying* to repair an electronic item. Are you a technician? Are these cathode ray TVs?

R256 Where is this shop you speak of? I live on 9th and need to go there today! Sounds like you, me and my husband all have the same affliction. My favorite is an ancient black tee with a Six Million Dollar Man graphic that my mom and I ironed onto the shirt together. Sadly that one hasn’t fit on over 40 years.

I've got my apartment maybe halfway cleaned out?

I'm not sure; it's hard to tell.

I definitely get that high of being attached to something; I have a small box and inside are my parents' college rings, a bracelet that belonged to my favorite grandmother and a few other sentimental pieces. I know I want to keep that till I die. but the four years of a magazine I really liked scattered about? probably not.

I just need more time.

I'll have it at the holidays tho. Parents are gone; siblings are distant and I'm not traveling for the holidays even if there were no COVID.

R259 - it’s an offshoot of Fine & Dandy - irregular hours.

Thanks R261. I know the original store. Maybe I’ll see you there!

Man, that sister was dogging on Paul every chance she got.

R241 Your comment made me feel seen and I spent the weekend gathering up the nice clothing that I never wear. I was going to send it in to ThredUp, but learned that they don't take men's clothing. Anyone know a similar company that does?

The folks on HOARDERS are mentally ill.

Under pressure, they all become infantile.

I really want to slap them all.

^ Andy Griffith

I think there are mental health issues regarding it, and different for everyone. Some from how they grew up, some just because. I think there is a major difference between going to the garage sale or flea markets on the weekend to just buying something and never using it because it is a good deal. Everyone loves a good deal, but this is just chaos for the peoples home and mind. I dont know how the cleaners on these shows do it without throwing up. I am still interested in how the person up thread did with cleaning out. I have finished all mine, and I was a tornado with it all. Wont lie, found some items the ex had given me and in true lesbian fashion burnt it. But mentally it was all good for me, so I think thats ok. But, I went through and decided if I havent worn it in over 2 years off to the charity store. If it is ripped or broken into the bin. Once the sentimental attachment is removed and I looked at it logically it was quite easy. Same with the cds/dvs etc I can watch the same movies on streaming or listening on streaming, why keep the cds. I did keep my rare and first edition books, I kept my albums but went through and got rid of some I dont listen to anymore. I think the biggest thing was that the house was not cluttered, was not messy, as I hate that, but I had these items in storage bins, neatly packed in the garage. I think, mentally, because we see that as organised we dont think there is an issue. It was nice to go through everything but Ive also decided to digitize the photos and give copies to the family as the negatives are getting old etc. I like the idea of digital photo frames.

One thing I’ve learn from Antiques Roadshow is you gotta strike while the iron is hot. Sometimes holding on to stuff pays off and other times it does not (see Beanie Babies)

I have hoarding tendencies and have focused to raising seedlings and plants. The composting feeds my desire use “stuff” and I get more “stuff” by growing them. Seed saving is fun. I get all My herbs and vegetables from the garden and ferment my own pickles. I sell the excess plants and give them away to whomever wants them.

Hoarding is a disorder listed in the DSM. It was initially considered a subset of OCD, but in the 90s or so, the DSM gave hoarding its own space in the book.

As irritating as those hoarders on TV are (and yes, I'd like to slap a couple of them), they're not acting. They really are having anxiety parting with something that seems useless and worthless.

I have been tackling my apartment for a few months now.

One thing I didn't want to part with was this small blue Samsonite suitcase perfect for weekend trips.

Which I never take.

Even before COVID.

But i had other more practical bags for those occasional trips. So, I gave it away.

I kept the luggage tag but gave the suitcase away. And now, I don't even miss it.

I'd love to take two weeks off and really go after the rest of this junk and keep tossing.

I have a job that never seems to end; I work remotely, nights, weekends; there are breaks but usually when I get one I rest, eat, relax.

Hopefully, Thanksgiving will bring a respite and I can get some stuff done.

OP asks if the hoarders are ever like "thank god you're here, I needed this help!" Many of them are. Their brains are trapped in a cycle that always leads back to "maybe I'll hang on to this". No matter how grateful they are for the help and no matter how desperate their circumstances, they tend to revert to their old thinking. They also tend to believe their belongings are valuable when they're junk.

I am only minimally attached to stuff. I like to have physical CDs (or vinyl if it exists) of the CDs of my favourite artist. I have all others on HDD now and gave the CDs away. I gave a wall of sheet music away which I sorely regretted - then IMSLP came along, and I'm finally at peace with my decision. My partner and my kid though are like happy dogs who proudly bring home new sticks all the time. It's not much but it takes some serious discussion every time I try to get rid of stuff - mostly theirs because of course, I won't throw anything which belongs to them away without their agreement.

I get infuriated when I watch that program. I'm neurotic about clutter and unfinished projects.

On the other hand, it most certainly does make one get up and clean the fuck out of the house and garage. Even though you had originally vowed to stay in your Oscar the Grounch pajama pants on the couch all of Saturday.

That's the problem I'm having as well, r271. Too much work and when I'm off, the last thing I want to do is go through junk and clean it out. But tonight my partner and I set ourselves a goal to get the extra storage room cleared out enough we can finally buy the second small freezer we've been meaning to buy for years.

I've gotten rid of about 5 large 50-gallon bags of junk but I have a whole lot left to go.

I think one issue is that once it has gotten away from us we look at the overall picture and not break it down into doable chunks. I got over whelmed when thinking of the entire scheme but when I broke it down, room by room, it became manageable and easier to reach goals.

I pray I can get some stuff done tomorrow. I had to buy some stuff this weekend; boxes everywhere.

My landlord must have new guys handling the trash cans because they're SITLL out on there in the street.

I just need to set aside a few hours to get some stuff OUT OF HERE

R277 Make a plan/schedule with times on it and what you want to accomplish. It makes it more attainable when the plan is structured.

R37 & R38 That bitch IS THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING WORST in the entirety of the show. She refused to work (I don't buy that she was actually disabled to the point of not being able to work, regardless of her government status), and insisted on keeping her kids in the house because she was drawing benefits for each of them (in addition to the fact that they did absolutely EVERYTHING around the house).

She very well may have been depressed, but the only other condition she suffered from was inveterate laziness. No. Actually, she's a fucking HOG. In every sense of the word. She probably reverted back to that disgusting behavior ten minutes after the cameras were unplugged. She's worse than the chicken hoarder. A delusional, grade-A CUNT, who should've gone to jail.

I tried to watch an episode of hoaders last night, but the second I saw a dog outside on a chain, I turned the channel.

R278, thanks; I had to work a lot of this weekend but the boxes are all tossed out; all the packing stuff and crap; all gone.

more tomorrow.

R277 That is great. Its a good start and I am sure you can already see a difference.

I don’t think Matt Paxton is returning to hoarders, which is a bummer. The best ones are the ones that change, embrace the help and are part of the process of cleaning up. The ones who have grief issues seem to be able to let things go and take steps to change. I love Dorothy and one of my favorite moments was when the clean up crew was removing a bed that this mans late wife had to use when she was sick. Dorothy had the guy look at the bed, process his feelings about it and you could see the grief had still had but also the relief he had that the bed was going as it was symbolic for him that was going to be ok and could move on with his life.

They just had a few eps of the show on. I have decided I am not ok with the dead animals they keep finding.

I have filled up two whole trashbags with crap in my apartment; my paper shredder is on the fritz so I can't shred some financial stuff.

If I can toss two bags every few days or ever four or five days, I should get out from all my shit in a month or two.

I live in LA and we have homeless shifting through our trash in the back so I wait till trash day and run it out in the morning.

R285 That is a good effort. I can understand not wanting people going through it. Always shred the financials.

The paper shredder truck came through my neighborhood this summer and I tossed four bags of paper crap into it. Their massive machine shreds it in one lump.

I just wanted to give my encouragement to everybody who is cleaning out their stuff and culling the load. It can't be easy.

I have a shredder. I use it for work, but also use it for junk mail, etc. It's a good thing to have.

I’ve been watching some of the recent episodes. The one with (still handsome) eldergay Paul made me tear up. He was a hot piece in his younger days, from what they showed. I do think he probably reverted to his hoarding, sadly.

R282, thanks. I am making slow but steady progress.

I'm working this weekend and have to go to a memorial service too but am hoping to find a few hours to continue to toss and also take a look at the shredder and see if I can get it working again.

I found it relaxing to shred papers and watch a show on tv at the same time. I did not feel I was taking time away from anything important to do it, especially as there was a massive amount.

I am interested to know how the person upthread has been doing with their hoarding?

When I'm channel surfing and I come across this show, it makes me incredibly anxious. My mother was a hoarder and died 2 years ago. My father died about 20 years prior, and that's what sent her into a hoarding frenzy. Never any dead animals or things in jars, but every single room was packed, and she had a large house. She ended up sleeping on a sofa in the living room, with barely enough room to navigate to the kitchen and bathroom. She had lots of friends, but they all faded away, just too uncomfortable...she in reality pushed them away. When we would try and help her with things, she would always blame the problem on us kids...She became sick and had to live in assisted living which lasted for around 5 months, and she actually did really well, she looked better and more healthy, but she took a turn and died. I've never shed a tear, just kind of numb, sad that her life had been so miserable at the end, yet grateful that she had a few months where she had some energy back. I'm house proud, not a neat freak, but I strive to have an orderly life. My sister took over the house and it has just now become livable...another year or two and it probably would have been condemned.

I often wonder how one gets to the point where the house is unlivable, where there is so much in there that they cant move. How gradual must the process be where you dont notice this movement or pay attention to spending habits. We did a big clean out during lockdown of my mothers, and I was lucky that she enjoyed going through the memories but went, enough is enough I am done with that and out it went. It was never the way a hoarders house was but it was good i think mentally for her to do it and remove everything she didnt see a reason to have. I think that mental and emotional clean out helped the process. R293, sorry about your mum.

It’s more common than you think. Yeah, EMTs and home health aides get to see it all the time. I do blame the families, the grown kids, who look the other way until it gets so awful they hire somebody else to fix it. They should have nipped it in the bud. I found a Nembutal suppository in a refrigerator once prescribed in 1964. That is just bullshit.

I can see that enabling would be a reason why it can get out of hand. But, I also believe in personal responsibility. But I dont get how you physically get to a place where its shit over the floors and dead animals. And how do these people afford to buy all this shit?

My partner's mom had a longtime friend who was the rare neat, clean hoarder. Had assorted crap stacked to the ceiling, with narrow paths carved through it all. Her big thing was fabrics and sewing supplies.

r295 "they should have nipped it in the bud". You are talking about severe mental illness that is probably both chemical and behavioral and often these hoarders have severe trauma as well. Most of the time, the family members have escaped.

I watched an episode with a lady named Martha and her house was her parents and she was hoarding whilst they were living their last days there and Marthas daughter went right off, which was good to see that some people wont take this shit.

It is amazing how many of these episodes have the cleaners finding dead animals.

Hoarding is a mental illness. Going off on a hoarder doesn't help at all. These people need therapy.

Hoarders ruined thrift store shopping for me. I keep imagining all the stuff I see is possibly from a hoarders house with pancake rats and filth.

302, people buying things from thrift shops and selling them at flea markets and on ebay ruined thrift stores for me.

I have to agree hoarders have ruined flee markets and thrift stores but i would also add into that people buying cheap and reselling on ebay or facebook market place.

You guys have been inspiring me today. I am not a hoarder like the people on tv, I don't generally buy things and have no trouble throwing things away. But I tend to let things go and I am sick with COPD (20% lung capacity). It is really hard to clean because I have to stop every 5 min to take a break because I am wheezing so bad. And I have ADHD and am old. My building is a chip housing building and I have to have an inspection every year plus I have housing and they inspect every year. One inspection in April and one in October so I keep it clean around the time of inspections and it never got so out of hand. For the last two years, no one inspected due to covid and my apt got really bad. One of my biggest problems is big boxes that come with medical supplies (diapers) and I get overwhelmed with the boxes. But this year my house was so filthy that I decided to hire a crew to deep clean it. Cost me $400.00 it took them 4 hours to clean it. It is starting to get out of hand again so after reading the hoarder thread I have managed to clean up half of it and take it to the trash. I am determined to finish it today but it is slow because of my breathing problems.

[quote] My fave was the folks that had a burst septic tank that resulted in a literal river of shit through their house.

'River of Shit' ~ wasn't that a Billy Joel song?

I watch every episode - I think only about 1% of the hoarders featured want to change and mostly it's the family who can no longer afford to keep cleaning out the houses. It's very expensive to hire all those dumpsters and a horrible job in general. I don't blame the families for becoming desperate.

r307 They all WANT to change on some level. But there's some serious brain disorders that prevent them from doing so. You can see it in the way their attidtudes fluctuate from helpful to aggressive or withdrawn when they get challenged. their brains are like a bad flow chart where any object ends up at "valuable" or "extremely sentimental".

I think hoarding, regardless of the category of mental illness that drives it, is a control tactic by the hoarder. Whether arrived at opportunistically by chance or planned for reasons we can’t fathom the hoarders destroy the environment of their families.

When family members that are unable to move simply want human rights to live their lives. Why would grown children be unable to get through to hoarders if the hoarders weren’t applying some type of hardball pressure to their families . It is a form of domestic violence by omission of normal hygiene.

I once knew a hoarder who was a very popular veterinarian in a small rural town. He terrorized his physically disabled wife, destroyed the house by making holes in the walls, breaking windows, making windows and doors unable to lock, picking things out of the trash and filling all rooms of the house, hoarding junk and more. Because he was a man, she was always blamed.

When he filled up an outbuilding with junk, not allowing the wife to have anything but one room(she owned the property), moved the washer and dryer to the outbuilding 3 acres away, took all his wife’s clothes each day when he would go to work so she couldn’t ask for help. He was injecting her with Benadryl to keep her from leaving. Attempted to run over her with a truck, etc. when he found out she contacted an attorney/doctor/dentist/dv agency he took all of her internet capable devices and nearly strangled her to death . When she paid thousands to clean an outbuilding, her mother witnessed him going into a rage when he came home and was completely shocked that a person would be angry if someone threw trash away. Keep in mind it was a fire hazard and he refused to clean it for several years.

Domestic abuse agencies blamed the wife after finding out she was disabled they rescinded all services. Only accommodations needed was to use email and texts. Police threatened to arrest her twice, wouldn’t believe she owned the property despite records existing. She developed a lung issue and lost her hearing due to ear infections. There is not “more to the story “ she didn’t ‘provoke “ it by being disabled and needy, she was a biological scientist working from home during COVID and that is when the hoarder did that to her (she was my aunt).I think protecting/catering to the hoarder allows the professionals to get the most money possible while they pretend to do something useful.

Has anyone noticed how everyone is walking on eggshells with the hoarders? When the family members attempting every avenue possible while the hoarder blames them. Then the counselor chastising the people the hoarder is harming while the hoarder just feels dupers delight.and does the ass kissing toward the hoarder do any good? Nope! The moment the cleaning crew leaves the hoarder HAS to junk it up again and will use physical, emotional and relational violence to keep themselves surrounded by junk.

Here comes the victim blaming, oh well I mentioned it and that is what happens