Jack Grealish and his freakish calves

I'd prefer his big hairy dick!

Look at the size on them thangs. A pair of juicy slab of meat.

Always wear those short shorts, Jack.

Giving us what we want.

The thighs aren't bad, either. Can he lose that mushroom hair/headband, though?

your a bunch a fickle cunts

Love this himbo

Why didn’t he play in the final against Italy?

R8 he came on at about the 100' but he wasn't in the penalty kick rotation.

r8 He did at some point. Or did I just imagine it? lol

Commentators always say his name as if something exciting is about to happen. It never does. He seemed pretty ineffectual in that tournament.

Dayum!

Wasn't he recently pictured in bed with a Lizzo type?

Has he ever shown cock or ass?

[quote] Commentators always say his name as if something exciting is about to happen. It never does.

‘Jack Grealish’ is shorthand for ‘we need good vibes’ in football parlance.

Both Manchester clubs are sniffing round Jack as a potential transfer acquisition again. The rumour is that City have considered dropping £100m to lure him away from Villa. Insane, considering he barely contributed to these Euros, and in the season prior Villa did not exceed expectation under his captaincy (though they didn’t fail, either).

John Barnes has issued an open letter to Jack warning him that City already have three competent #10 players and a glut of world-class attackers, so he won’t be valuable to the club. Reading between the lines, it also sounds like Barnesy is implying that Jack is attractive to clubs for the fan interest he brings rather than his football.

R5 the camera loves my curtains, OP bab.

Delicious sporty body and nice face

Sasha Atwood should stand up for herself. Grealish constantly and openly sleeps around on her (usually with barely-legal nobodies from social media, but sometimes with celebrities or married people...) while claiming to be single, yet he expects Sasha to behave like his steady exclusive WAG by staying faithful and being at his beck and call, and gets shirty if she doesn’t comply.

And it’s not even the cheating itself that’s the issue, more the blatancy thereof and how one-sided it all is. Most footballers at least have the basic sense and decency to keep their inevitable dicking around on the downlow to spare their WAGs too much embarrassment, that’s the unspoken agreement; Jack is simplty too selfish and stupid and short-sighted to bother with this courtesy.

She’s letting the behaviour continue on indefinitely and likely worsen by sticking around, grinning and bearing it for the sake of a bit of clout and a cushy lifestyle. Money and access to celebrity culture is all well and good, but it comes at a high cost when you’re being humiliated on the reg—indeed, she seems a shell of a person in comparison to when they first started dating. While he is initially to blame with setting the unfair expectations around cheating, she’s as much to blame given that she’s enabling Jack to use her like a doormat and a tagalong idiot fangirl for the price of Gucci slides and a mini McMansion.

They’re old enough and have been seeing each other long enough to be engaged, and frankly time waits no-one, not even cute footballers and their IG girls. And even if they don’t want or like that level of commitment, though, then they could easily and quietly disclose their dating status together—but of course, that would cut into Jack’s slut time, and he can’t have the teen groupies on TikTok feeling left out and let down..

Well, if Sash wanted fame, she finally got it. Now everyone can see she is giving her precious time to a manwhore who thinks she’s a mug and lets the world know it.

You can't want better for people than they want for themselves.

Being a fan of Jack is so embarrassing and problematic, but for some reason we do it anyway.

She looks like she could be his sister.

IFHH

If Jack, Kyle Walker & Mason Mount were on Jeopardy:

If Jack keeps up the salty bitchy runback re. Southgate’s decisions, he might not be getting a World Cup 2022 call-up. Watch your step, hairboy...

Hate him or love him, there’s no questioning Jack’s strange magic and feral competitive spirit on the ball.

He is largely responsible for keeping Villa in the League of late. Last season, Villa were looking a good bet for honours, before Grealish got injured; without him leading them, all the decent players they had somehow fell apart and quickly slid to mid-table mediocrity.

There’s something intangible special about Grealish that swells enthusiasm, builds confidence and draws success. Southgate is proving a competent England manager, but he'll never be a great one unless he recognises and accepts the blindingly-obvious saving throw he has in Jack.

England need to build the team for Qatar around Grealish, making him the first name on the teamsheet rather than last. There’s no other manager on Earth who would reasonably choose to start Grealish behind Foden & Mount & Saka & Sterling.

Yes his calves are glorious.

OP Jack’s other speciality (besides football) is love affairs on the freaky side, so I think you’d get along famously.

R27 Oh stop it!!!! You're making me blush.

Bet he was raging that he still hasn’t got his grubby paws on the #10 shirt for England this year. DGMW, I believe Jack really likes Raz as a fellow England teammate, but I also think that deep down he’d still consider pushing him in front of a bus to get the Lions’ #10.

IMO Jack also quite fancies the armband, and given the sycophantic praise he’s heaping on Kane atm he probably wants to schmooze his way into Captaincy in future. It would make John Terry proud.

why do footballers get all that silly money when they always dress like this in public??

if chilly had skipped the hat and let the hair free then a conversation could’ve been had. otherwise what was he thinking

not even going to talk about jack cuz that outfit is just a hate crime😭

R8 one theory is that Southgate has a grudge against Aston Villa. Seeing as Jack is the lauded Captain of the current Villa side...

R2 foam-rolling must be agony for him.

For a straight man, he certainly does enjoy flirting with other men and courting their attention.

Even when homely middle-aged fans and journos crack onto him, he starts playing up to it and batting his lashes and acting coy. Tease.

He comes across as straight for pay.

R34 idk that seems a bit extreme. Jack has got with some very fit gorgeous female models who would have their pick of stupid chav footballers and so wouldn’t need to beard or fauxmance.

He seems more like a heteroflexible or at a push downlow bi. Still it would be proper funny if he was actually gay, because it would send all those straight men who lust him into a glitching breakdown.

the bi energy that radiates off of this man tho. always got to be touching all over guys in some way

like he may apparently be fucking a new channel tunnel through the <30 year old most attractive percentile of the female population of England and thats fine

but at the same his aura screams “fuck I wish Hendo would pin me down and choke me and call me a stupid slut and make me call him ‘skipper’ and ‘daddy’”

R36 What's a skipper?

R36 in British football terminology, ‘Skipper’ or ‘Skip’ refers to a team/club Captain. It comes from seafaring lingo, in which Captains of ships were (and sometimes still are) known and referred to as a Skipper.

Technically-speaking, both Henderson & Grealish are currently the Skippers of their respective Premier League clubs, Liverpool & Aston Villa. However, Henderson has more seniority of the two, because he is the older and more decorated player of the two. Some believe that Jordan is the de facto Skipper for the England national team—though technically Harry Kane has the armband—because of his longevity with the national team (he’s been playing with England for a decade) and the respect he commands from all the other players.

the struggles of giving your life for what would just be a simple man you’d find punching the fruit machines down spoons if they hadn’t got 3 small lions on their chest 😔

R39 My goodness, that make-up is horrendous.

R40 all the social media girls cake it on like that now. But HD is very unforgiving, so you can hardly blame them.

c.2018 my younger sister went on holiday to a resort in Tenerife and pulled a Brummie bloke there after she started chatting to him at the bar about Jack lol

R36 Jack seems to like being near Hendo and touching him. I would pay to see them in action.

R43 same!

Jack absolutely craves Hendo cock and no-one can tell me different. Even if Jack isn’t bi or into men generally, there’s this sdxual chemistry he has with Jordan that just hits different.

R44 But footballers always do this kind of gay stuffs, don't they? Like kissing, biting neck, grabbing asses or slapping or pinching them. There is one gif I've seen where a guy comes from behind and dips his fingers between the cheeks of another guy who just scored a goal and strums it in excitement.

R45 there is a lot of guy-on-guy intimacy in football, yeah. Sort of tradition at this point. So it isn’t weird or remarkable in general.

And Jack is an affectionate clingy man who seems to like any almost any attention tbh, whether from men or women. He kisses and hugs fans, wrestles and plays Granada with the lads on his team all the time etc.

Idk tho, something about the way he is with Hendo is a little extra and heavier—like he takes it more seriously, and seeks out the physical contact more often like it’s a need not just playful banter? and it’s more of a big deal to Jack? Just a vibe, but it’s def there.

Compare how Jack is with younger England players like Phil Foden for example. Phil gives Jack affection, and Jack is fine with it but isn’t really feeling it either.

Though he’s a Captain, knowing his personality and behaviour you get the feeling Jack doesn’t really like having to be responsible or in control or the big man. He moreso likes being around people like that I.e. Hendo.

^^^’grabass, not ‘Granada’ ugh

Even as this year’s transfer window closes, Man City haven’t given up their courtship of Jack, despite Villa’s insistence than he’ll stay and his contract is watertight.

Inside reports suggest that the juggernaut club seem badly to want Grealish as well as Harry Kane, perhaps to fill vacancies left by rumoured imminent departures in star attractions Sterling, Silva & Laporte (whose transfer fees they can use to buy new players). There are also several youth & B-team players up for loans or expensive transfers, that are expected to fund generous and even outrageous bids for Grealish & Kane.

There’s no question that Jack & Harry play well together, and they’d be major gets for any club. But in the Etihad? There’s a lot of unfriendly competition for the positions they typically play (which could mean a lot of time on the bench), a more restrictive style of play and fewer opportunities to self-advocate, as well as a lack of good faith in the stands and the boardroom (the club are in the doghouse for their grubby handling of the Super League plans). The only guaranteed plus for both players at City—besides the massive boost in publicity and pay—is that they’ll get to play weekly with their England teammates Phil Foden, John Stones & Kyle Walker.

He’ll be alright, as long as he doesn’t go a lesser club or league at any point.

Spectators hate Jack in the bottom-table clubs. HATE him. His prettyboy party-prince spiceboy reputation irks the macho Sunday league shitkicker fans no end, as does his tendency to fall over at the slightest touch. Wolves fans have even cruelly nicknamed him ‘Girlish’, and call him gay slurs all the time. A club like that would make Jack’s currently-charmed life hellish, so it’s lucky for him that he’s flying high at the moment.

You're reaching, r46, and that gif does not help your argument.

R50 we’re just having a dirty stupid laugh. It’s all just fantasy. Unclench.

R49 OMG! I just realized that some of these guys are in their 20s. Grealish is 25?? They look like they're about to leave their 30's already. Is it the excessive cardio and running that's speeding them up the hill?

^^Oh shit. I posted my comment in the wrong footballers thread. But my question still stands.

R52 it’s the ageing effects of blow, venereal disease, hubris, and of too much time in powerful sun for skin that isn’t used to it.

The other thing they will get R48 is trophies - Kane certainly is tired of being the best English player not to have any sort of winners' cup and medal, and it's becoming less and less likely if he stays at Spurs, given its current condition (they were also a Super League wannabe). The same thing will probably apply to Grealish, if less fervently maybe.

My first bf had calves like that. Ah, memories!

R55 very true, I didn’t think of that.

Pep generally gets what he wants, and he’s been given more money than the Pope to get it done, so this transfer looks to be happening despite murmurs of reservation.

Shame. City fans are absolute scum, and Jack looked so pretty in pinkish-red.

Also Kane especially and Grealish might actually like not to be driven into the ground by being constantly played. It would make their careers last longer.

Are they fucking?

R59 height difference kink lol

It’s just hit me that Jack has a slightly-feminine figure and face. That must be what the allure is for so many people.

He’s curvy, petite, with narrow shoulders, pixie ears, wide bow lips and heavy-lidded sultry eyes like Monroe. The long locks and the come-hither trampiness are just the icing. It gets straight men all discombobulated.

This face isn't remotely feminine.

He “doesn’t mind being called a diver”. Classy.

It really is just a fat pay packet to him, isn’t it?

R63 What's a diver, now?

R64 ‘to dive’ means to fall off the ball and down to the grass when another player so much as lightly touches you or moves in to tackle, and then faking as if you’ve been tripped or fouled or injured. It’s a dirty method of trying to stop play or to win free kicks & penalties. As a practise it’s frowned upon, but there’s usually at least one midfield or striking player in every team who does it.

The stronger connotation is that one is a cheater and a diva, who can’t play with any strength or decency or sportsmanship.

R65 I see what you mean. I've seen that happen before. Didn't know it had a term though.

Football is basically a war between the divers and the foulers. I tend to have more sympathy for divers overall, as they are less likely to inflict physical damage and are generally just less unpleasant human beings.(exhibit 1 Roy Keane).

R67 good points.

Keane is responsible for the tragic endings of several promising careers, and for knowingly and recklessly endangering (in a few cases, ruining) the health of his coworkers. In any other line of work, he’d have been chased out and sued long ago. Utter piece of work.

It’s telling that media outlets such as BBC and Sky will hire him, but refuse to take on or even guest people who have got into trouble for saying offensive things (John Terry springs to mind). It’s a weird double-standard.

Luke Shaw’s beard has flown out to Mykonos to meet the lads. Wonder if Sash will be joining?

R62 those are some very full and lifted lashes for a man but ok🧐💁‍♀️

Keane is an ITV pundit, not the BBC.

R13 well I’ve never come across a nude, though I’m sure they exist on the camera roll of some thot’s phone.

Here’s what I could find—a little candid clip (from the Villa Park dressing room) of his arse in briefs. Cheeky exhibitionistic fucker turns bum-first to the cam, obviously.

Just realised where I’ve seen Jack’s haircut before🤯

R73 exactly. I don’t see why the big fuss over his silly dated haircut. He also gives rubbish interviews like most professional athletes. He and Ryan lochte seem cut from the same cloth.

The sad thing is that he’s not even the least intelligent in the England squad.

He’s still very low down and headed for relegation in the intellect table, obviously, but not quite last.

R75 god knows what they’d be doing if they weren’t footballers.

R19 yeah but, becoming a a proper official permanent WAG is a bit like getting a knighthood innit? It’s you giving years of graft and public support and free publicity for people who don’t appreciate it, just so’s you can get a bit of respect and some friends in high places at the end of it.

R76 Jack has said a few times in interviews that he always fancied himself as a club promoter and a tourguide for drunk Brit tourists in Ibiza etc.. Sounds about right.

Chilly hasn’t got much more brain than Jack but he lacks the same charisma or prettiness or confidence, so it’s hard to even imagine him doing something as basic as that. He’d probably be a tradesman at best, or perhaps a cleaner or a bin-man. I can also picturing him as a farm labourer, for some reason.

I don’t find Jack pretty at all. And he just looks so challenged. It’s like he doesn’t understand the question being asked half the time.

I think his voice and overall stupidity ruin any looks he may have.

His legs are amazing though!

[quote] It’s like he doesn’t understand the question being asked half the time.

He doesn’t.

Why do you think we stick him in front of the media all the time? Tabloids can’t accuse a man of dodging and finessing the question when he’s evidently not the full ticket. It’s like picking on a disabled.

R82 my god, just no!!! He’s even stupider than joey from “friends”hopefully he doesn’t spawn kids the sake of humanity!

For* the sake of humanity

R83 think it’s a bit late for that. He hos intecontinentally without protection.

However, the whorishness of the man is so overwhelming that the fuckboy energy gets almost completely drowned out (but he’s got plenty of that). He’s probably discovered a hundred disgusting other ways to get off.

not nearly enough talk or pics about his legs on this thread

R86 it’s because his breedable arse is to distracting.

So how’s this to correct our course—he probably discovered intercrural early in life, and if he hasn’t yet it’s a damn oversight.

R87 I want to lick every inch of him

Here's some Grealish leg footage for a promo spot with Jordan Pickford and DCL. Like the way Jack often rolls up one of short leg sleeves to show more leg.

R89 nice find!

[quote] Jack often rolls up one of short leg sleeves to show more leg.

He really is such a massive tart.

when he showed up at St. George’s Park for training this year the new set of stewards & security guards had no idea who he was lmao

that man has divine gams and booty

R93 I read that as ‘diving gams’😂😂

not related to Grealish, but apparently Luke Shaw's brother Ben is on Grindr

R95 so both Shaw brothers could be gay?

Surely the world isn’t that good.

"She's a runner... she's a trackstar"

Thiccums

furry too, which is double-divine

Floppy

Scotland National Team player Stephen O'Donnell, on man-marking, flirting with and then tackling Jack:

[quote] John McGinn (a fellow Scotland national player, and teammate of Grealish at Aston Villa) had been giving me some tips. He said, “if Jack comes on, you need to get nibbling in his ear—but don't be critical, be complimentary”. So the full time he was on, I was telling him how goodlooking he was, and I loved his calves, and asking him how he got his hair to look like that.

R91 The hairy legs are sending me but seriously, that is a rough looking 25 years old.

R102 hmmm, I wouldn’t say Jack looks completely beat. Maybe less sun and stress would slow down ageing, but other that does he look so awful? Is this an American beauty standard you’re applying, or am I just blind?🧐😂

That said, he reportedly uses about five different products and takes an hour to style his hair every day but nothing so elaborate for his face, so idk why his skin doesn’t get the same attention.

Actually I’d love to know what skincare products would work well on skin like his, as I’ve got the same type— rosy/dirty blond complexion, with visible pores, dryness/oiliness alternating, and a tendency to pit and freckle. Though like Jack my diet is clean and I drink a lot of water, still I cannot get hydration going on my face no matter what I use or don’t use. Retinols turn me into a peeling agonised tomato.

R103 In the pic from R96, the forehead lines and the crow's feet made him look much older than his age. I don't mean he looks awful though. I find him very charming actually. I guess I'm coming from the expectation of a 25 years old to look boyish than matured.

^^ Sorry. I meant the pic from R92.

R1 according to the analytical bods over at LSPG his package is massive, but the likelihood is that it’s mostly all ball.

Furthermore, the way he wears his shorts—choosing a small size, pulling them up so high, and rolling the waistband down—is a visual trick to make his assets look bigger.

R104 sadly Jack has got white Irish blood so from now he’ll age like milk.

“There’s so much, like, tactical stuff going on....”

Those briefs lines. Hot hot hot.

To expand on the saga at R101, Jack & John ‘Ginny’ McGinn have a close relationship that interests me.

In this interview, poor Jack doesn’t know when to put his eyes or his body when trapped sitting between his sexy Scottish teammate Ginny on one side, and the, erm, lovely and forthright host Emma Jones on the other.

When Jack is asked by Emma about Ginny’s relationship to him, for a few long seconds he is caught off-guard and stutters, “he’s my—uh—you know what I mean—one of my better—uhm”, then recovers and adds, “well, he thinks that we’re best mates, but we’re not. (laughs) I’m messing, I’m messing.”

His only redeeming feature are his legs. What a time to be alive!

His future namesake replacement in the England squad will be Jack Clarke, the 20-year old currently playing with Spurs as well as the Young Lions.

^ purdy

Funny that there is a sudden glut of Prem players named Jack. Nine of them, at last count including Grealish.

As an English male given name it was out of vogue for quite a long time, considered to be an old man’s name, until for some reason it had a brief spell of renewed popularity in the 1990s and early 2000s.

At the moment, James, John, Ben, Phil, Michael, Tom, Harry, Christian, Aaron, Ryan & Jordan are the other most commonly seen English first names in the PL.

Some conspiracists a la David Icke genuinely believe that the real original Grealish who we have known for a decade is actually recently deceased, either from COVID or a car accident, and that due to his lucrative popularity he has been replaced by a reptilian clone during a convenient lockdown period.

Wish I was making that up. The comments in this video are full of people saying that this current Jack we’re seeing is some sort of deepfake or a doppelgänger/stand-in (even if not an alien clone), because his face shape and features look a bit different and his vibe is off. It’s the Avril Lavigne conspiracy all over again.

jack with a french plait is my girlfriend and jack with a side part & curtains is my boyfriend

just dont rate it slicked back u know. i don't vibe w it

I bet he shoots big loads

that's gotta me some prime mussy

R177 and never into my mouth or hole. Sad.

He has great calves, not freakish calves.

Jack is a very sexy and charismatic lad, and his overall body is beautiful, but honestly I do find his leg size a bit gross and freaky. That part isolated gives me tumourous Wolverine, or that kid in AKIRA who went crazy and physically mutated. Horses for courses, I suppose.

Just me probably, but I far and away prefer log willowy thin legs on a football player. Like elegant dancer or runner’s legs. John Stones’ pins are a nice example. Then again, for whatever reason I think tall lanky men are more aesthetically-pleasing.

Jack is known to slide into DMs of women who look like this, teeth and tan and flat tummies (but not much tit to speak of...).

Wonder if his taste in men is similar?

If anyone cute ever meets Jack and is introduced, you can probably get a cuddle and a cheek kiss off him if you ask nicely. In half the pics I’ve seen of him with fans & acquaintances, he’s giving some PDA.

Luke Shaw(berto) & Jack should start a thicc bois crew.

If I had to bet, I’d say Jack likes it rough. And lives for attention.

[quote] I get a few kicks, but I don't mind getting kicked. I like it. I go on like I don't [during the game], but I do. It shows the opposition are keeping an eye on me.

As a teen he was more self-aware about his exhibitionism than he is now ten years later. Slag.

[quote]I'd prefer his big hairy dick!

I'd guess it's a thick veiny upcurving uncut 7ins, which he'd prefer to be bigger.

R127 the last thing a man with his ego problems needs is a bigger cock

In fact, I think emasculation would do him a lot of good, and stop him being such a brat and such a fuckboy.

Jamie Redknapp would love to get on Jack. Absolutely salivates over him on Sky Sports.

Jack is taking Sasha away somewhere secret this weekend. Guess that’s him apologising for all those pap shots of him from last Saturday holding hands and snuggling with Molly Pick....

Nah don’t even mess. Swear he got his new tacky dagger-heart pendant off a girl he met in Greece. Sasha would never put him in that and he’d never get it for himself. That’s a gothic thot territory marking chain if ever I have seen one.

Why do people keep linking images from the site imgbb when they almost never work?

I have a moving company I've used several times where the dad owner has calves like those. They almost as wide as my waist! Nice and professional guy, but I think he could use those muscular calves as chopsticks to pick up, sauce-dip, and eat sautéed brontosaurus drumsticks. :o

R133 My god. How tiny is your waist?

R132 imgbb pics show up in the thread for me, though I can’t save them (not that I’d need or want to). Which browser and device are you using? That’s probably your issue. Switch to Safari if you can, and see what happens then.

Or just, you know, contribute pics of your own from a source that you know works for your tech.

Jack drops over £7k on drinks during a single Mykonos weekend, and hangs out with cast members of LOVE ISLAND.

He’s looking bloated and exhausted. No way is he fit to train for the season start in three weeks.

The new season of TED LASSO has basically remodelled the character Jamie Tartt on Jack, and it’s really fucked me off for some reason.

just saw a fancam of Sasha Attwood and someone commented “don’t be too jealous of her she has IBS” 😭😭😭

Fuck being a wag tbh

Here's a clip showing plenty of Grealish leg.

R139 This is why I created this thread. Thank you, R139. I could kiss you for this. 3:40 was the best part and he looks so much hotter with the slicked back hair.

Ok, I’ve analysed the tapes, and have concluded that Jack doesn’t actually speak English as a first language.

without a shirt i don't find him that attractive, but when he is wearing a shirt and the attention is on those spectacular legs... then i fall in love

R142 something about Jack with sleeves pulled over his wrists or his hands wrapped is so much.

The way he looks like the prettiest demure malewife with it....

I'm glad he lowers his sock to show off his calves.

Quads definition

Some good close up shots of Jack as he's being interviewed.

a man’s role in society is to look pretty and have cracking legs.

Jack is such a comely wench.

Wish he’d put down the Coca-cola, though. That swill is going to rot the single braincell he’s got.

[quote]comely wench

lol

and a pulchritudinous trollop

[quote]comely wench

[quote]and a pulchritudinous trollop

And a shameless hussy

thinking about her (jack’s freckles)

He says PRETTY WOMEN is one of his favourite movies. DL might be in with a chance.

Tart flashing photogs some leg....

Yesterday Sasha posted an insta-story to tell her followers that she’s on a very important photo shoot atm, so she possibly can’t be meeting Jack and his accumulated harem of mega-fit Love Island-calibre girls (who mostly coincidentally work for the same U.K.-based residency company in Dubai, js...) & lads in Ibiza, but that their relationship is fine and thanks for asking. Ok sis get your bag I guess, it has been 8 years and counting with no ring😕Hopefully they’ve at least got housekeepers at home, so Sash doesn’t have to wash loads of dirty holiday clothes next week....

@annieelia on IG has candids of Jack and his crew on holiday. She’s said to be a ‘girlfriend’ of one of his non-footballer mates out there (still) partying with him.

He has a burgeoning substance problem, seriously. It’s regular use of nangs, rufis, white, whippits....

His enthusiasm for the pills & powder has been known to Villa fans for years. Without intervention, this sadly will collapse his house of cards at some point.

Every female in England now basically;

He's got Popeye legs.

R157 some Tattle Frau said that his legs are shaped like twiglets, and now I laugh every time I see him in shorts.

Chatting to my sister and her galpals about Jack, I’m hearing laughable comparisons to Becks.

No. Nooooope. Beckham was generally a style icon, and a metrosexual ‘good boy’ pinup. While there were a few borderline dodgy fits and haircuts, generally he made it an aim to look more cleanly groomed and behave in a less laddy way than your average baller. The sarong and the purple wedding suit were unusual aberrations, and the cheating scandal a weird blip. In terms of contemporary cognates, Becks is comparable to DCL more than Grealish, imo.

Everything Jack wears is an overlogoed, gaudy hypebeast child’s nightmare, and everything he does is a greasy shabby blitzed-out hot mess. He doesn't go out of his way to scrub up or be cool a la Becks. He’s a Good Time Charlie who has none of the hyper-moisturised chill and grace and polished turdiness which the likes of David and DCL so carefully protect. What Jack has got over Goldenballs is a cheeky sexy grin and glint in his eye, and a naughty sense of humour and personality, so it’s easy to overlook all the sleaze dripping of him.

Maybe all the power of these popular players really is all in the curtain hair we liked back in the day. Redknapp, Becks, Grealish...the pattern is clear.

[quote]the cheating scandal a weird blip

Becks's sexting was hot though. It would be fun to read similar attempts by Jack.

R160 hahah I forgot all about that. Can’t believe it’s been almost 18 years since. I still remember how brutally LSA skewered David and ate him alive over it. And they were such lame, cheesy, slimy messages he was sending, too—not sexy or appealing or even cute, more like dialogue out a really shit porno made by really old clueless people (‘do you want me to rub your p*ssy and make you c*me over and over?’ etc🤮)

Jack meanwhile doesn’t even know enough elementary English words to string something basic as that together. Can’t imagine how he’d even manage a comprehensible string of sexts.

Anyone here on Raya? I want to see what silly bollocks he’s written in his profile so I can laugh cruelly.

He skips arm day

He may have a trashy quality but I bet he knows how to fuck good.

Not until he showers.

R165 he must permanently reek of booze, sweaty socks, stale hairspray and fanny powder.

Lucky he’s so pretty and so cute.

The closer we get to Transfer Day, the less I believe he’ll go to City.

Pep’s already got five quality attackers with a more malleable and compliant mentality competing for the #10—he doesn’t need or deeply want Jack cluttering up the squad, he just doesn’t want to play against him if he moves to another Big Six club.

And Jack for his part jeopardises his place in the England squad if he moves club anywhere else, because he won’t be a Captain anymore and he probably won’t be a starting #7 or #10 for years either.

Aw, apparently a few years back he helped pay for the funeral of a local young Villa teen fangirl who died in a car accident. That’s decent of him.

Doesn’t really mitigate the drunk-driving or the cheating or the tax-evading, mind, but at least it’s something.

^^ on second thought, reality context says he was probably fucking her or wanted to fuck her, so it isn’t that cute or that nice really.

Popstar Anne-Marie left Jack’s DMs on read, because she doesn’t like the fact that he has multiple DUIs. Good for you girl!

On his personal YouTube channel, former England & Manchester United player and current BT Sport pundit Rio Ferdinand is urging the other Big Six clubs besides Manchester City to bid and poach Grealish, whatever it costs. Fighting talk.

[quote] There aren't many breathtaking footballers around anymore, who produce breathtaking moments, and make you go, “wow that was crazy!”. Jack does that, he’s just a phenomenal player. Does he improve every team in the Premier League? Yes he does, end of argument. He improves every team. If I’m Liverpool, I’m going to get him. If I’m Man City. Because he improves them. He improves Chelsea, 100 per cent. Whoever’s got the money to pay for him, do it.

Oddly, though, despite his general enthusiasm for Jack as a player, Rio does not think he is a necessary or likely acquisition for his old club Manchester United, and says he wouldn’t be excited by Jack moving there. In fact, Rio seems specifically keen for Grealish to go to former rival club Liverpool, over Manchester City—a controversial move that would certainly put a spanner in the works for both Manc teams.

[quote] I would love him to join Man United, obviously, but I just feel that the position that he plays is already stacked—Fernandes in a ten, Rashford’s on the left, Martial is there, Pogba is there. It kind of rules United out unless they say, “we're going to shift a player or two to get him.” (But) if Liverpool bought him it would be a bolt out the blue...

As of now, reports say Manchester City FC have opened formal transfer talks with Aston Villa, and are themselves in 'direct' contact with Grealish himself as well. City opened these talks several days ago, and currently contact has remained open and at something of a standstill (usual, for a transfer period). Villa for their part remain adamant that they do not want to sell Grealish to anyone for less than £100m (or for any price, really), and have already offered Jack a new contract extension with them that runs for years in the hope that he signs it very soon. The general transfer window closes in 30 days time, so a decision will have to be reached and a contract signed by the end of the month.

I'm a Villa supporter, so I have no choice but to stan.

R172 I’m so sorry (I kid, I kid).

Seriously though, as a supporter, what do you make of Jack’s transfer opportunities? Where do you think he’ll go, if he does go? Will your club cope if he leaves? He’s basically responsible for your current success, so...

What’s so hilarious about this current transfer hype over Jack, particularly in regards to Liverpool, is that until very recently he was up for trade on the cheap and there were no takers.

In the summer of 2018 Villa’s former technical director Steve Round approached every club with an offer to trade Grealish, and no-one showed a flicker of interest, besides Liverpool in passing. Once at the table, Round desperately offered to trade Jack to LFC for a relatively-paltry £25million—the motivation being that Villa Park had run into severe financial difficulties after failing to gain promotion to the Premier League that season. The club needed funds, and at that time Jack’s nightlife was dragging down his performance enough to justify flogging him off.

LFC turned down the embarrassing offer with a dismissive sneer, and were similarly disinterested when in the next season Villa once again offered the then newly-Captained and semi-sober 23-year old Grealish for transfer at the same meagre price. The rumour explaining these easy rejections is that current Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp has no love and no time for freewheeling egocentric party-boys and messily aggressive noisy icons like Jack, preferring more stoical and more disciplined straight-edge all-rounder types on his pitch and in his elegant vision for the club culture (though we have no actual confirmation of that). Also, the fact remains that LFC’a system require solid no-nonsense midfielders, not #10 showponys.

It is only in the last 18 months that Jack has become a hot or even warm prospect on the market, after a strangely-beguiling run with England and an unusually-great season with Villa that has kept them in the Prem. Now, Jack may be an excellent chance creator, ball-carrier, passer and dribbler of rare physicality, but even so for his going rate to quadruple in less than two years when playing outside of a Top 4 or Top 6 club is madness. His profile is an inflating bubble.

R163 *I* don’t skip arms.

The stupid laughter the voice actor on 442oons does for Jack is amazing😂

England NT’s player package for Jack implies they’re pretty high on him over at SGP, no matter what Southgate thinks or wants. His enthusiasm and charm is very good for publicity and team morale.

It’s early days in Jack’s England career, but I could see Gareth leaving next year and Jack taking the #7.

He flirts with the lads in the squad constantly. Right in the IG comments where everyone can read it, obviously.

Like the other day he tagged a DCL pic and then left a comment about how big Dom’s feet are.

Jack posting photos of him & Ed Sheeran amidst the chaos on social media tonight is so very Jack.

R179 what chaos?

R180 the fan panic over transfer signings. Everyone just wants to know who’s going where but we’re all still in the dark and will be for a few weeks yet :/ meanwhile Jack is just chilling with popstars and getting his tits out on socials, long hair don’t care...

Someone needs to just slip an LFC contract sans letterhead & logo in front of Jack, and tell him it’s a City one so he can just sign it without reading it. He can’t understand long complicated text, so won’t know the difference.

R136 if jack grealish were on love island like he secretly wishes he was we'd all hate him and call him a fuckboy and boo him off

he’d be knocking off with all the girls and all the boys too

he's HAF @ R181

R183 yep, prettiest little slut in England🌹

R183😘

He just showed up at Villa Park to train in the new kit, without actually telling anyone whether he’s still going to be playing for Villa ever again.

Confirmation that he’s a cocktease and a cheeky bastard.

New kit..

^^^^

Do we think....bottom energy...🤔??

I'd hit that seven ways to Sunday

This is why I won’t get a pelaton. I’m scared I’ll get huge calves.

fuck I'd jack off in the mirror all day long if I had legs like that

Meanwhile in Italy they just fist you after you score a goal

luv those Italians, so passionate!

R191 The first time I'm hearing someone being afraid to get huge calves. What are you?

R193 well, the English are no less naughty...

While Jack has legs made for sin, I can't get past his fugly, sunken-cheeked mug nor fathom why this thread has inspired 196 replies. I mean, even by British standards, he's a 4 at best.

^ Sorry for that. Just feeling extra salty this morning.

Salty R197, you are entitled to your opinion. No need to justify a personal taste.

That being said, out of interest—on your scale of attractiveness (set to British), which sportsman would be a 5? Or a 6, or 7?

I don’t know how much exposure you have to British sport, but atm Jack usually ranks as one of the prettier boys. We’re not the best-looking nation, granted, but if thousands across Europe think he’s fit, there’s got to be something to it? Maybe he’s just got so much sex appeal that it blinds everyone to his actual looks.

Even straight Irishmen are swooning and gushing over Jack. That’s how much of a hold he has on public imagination.

R196 the attraction between Jack and Hende is so strong and visible, not even trying to hide it (and why should they)

R201 ikr, it’s so blatant, especially on Jack’s end. Obviously, it’s a connection that feels really good to both men, suprising as it is.

And they look really good together, too, from an outside perspective.

sex tape, pls

R201 bonus is Hendo sporting the Rainbow Laces while he slaps Jack’s luscious arse.

Truly we were blessed with gay England content this year. Now next season we have to top that, by having an out gay/bi player..

Hendealish...😏

Hendo: “Be good!”

Jack: “alright...”😳😳😳

Hendo likes putting his hands on Jack too...

Hendo, watching Jack show off in training with volleys: “look at these legs, here!....😏”

Jack: *unnecessarily struts over to stand next to Hendo and flirt with him instead of training, legs open, head tilted and mouth wide open*

Sterling: 🙄🙄*thinking* “Fucksake, this again. Right in front of my salad...”

coin slot or rosebud?

R210 do you wanna check for me babes? I’m really slow so I uhhm...forget things a quite a bit....📉💭🦗🏖🎡🐣🥅🕳...

You can cum on it after for your trouble if you want🤗🎀🌹🍑🏓🎠🍰🍩💫🥛

Another Villa supporter here (there are two of us?) and I’m fucking crushed. I watched all the tribute videos tonight and cried. I know, Mary!

He’s already had a haircut and put on a suit, Pep works fast,

R212 most of the nation mourns with you, love. He did so much and so well for your club, you must be disembowelled much less gutted. We’re all MARY! on this bleak day. Anywhere but City....

The agony and distress I feel looking at that cursed image. It’s only been ten minutes and already he’s been dolled up and oiled almost beyond recognition. Jack’s a happy hot hyper-colourful mess, that’s who he is—taking away his personality takes away his power and charm.

Plus the hangdog look on his face and his defeated stance gives me serious chills; against expectation and report, he doesn’t really look entirely fine, or decided, or as if there’s much to celebrate...(ugly evil thought: did City get him as bisexual Pep’s new [redacted] rather than to actually play?)

His hair was about to be awarded legendary icon status, as well. He suited the floppy boyband curtains. But is it actually cut now, or just slicked back?...I cleave to vain hope....

Ok lads, out the goodness of my heart, I grit my teeth and watched ‘Inside City’ ep. 382 (through my fingers while cringing and fighting back tears) so you don’t have to.

The cameras clearly knew what the people wanted to see. A few minutes in, Jack strips down to boxers and socks to get a medical (first one of his pro career apparently—wtf Villa?), and two elder Doctors and a middle-age nurse ECG him while he gets sweaty on a treadmill. Hilights—Doc: “it’s the incline [on the treadmill] that gets you” Jack: (lost) “the wha-? The ‘incline’...?”, and; cameraman: (sarcastically indicating the ECG stickers) “you’re looking fashionable, there...” Jack: “it’s Birmingham swag, this!”

Then he gets an MRI (why? Someone with no medical training could tell there’s no brain in that skull), and is driven to HQ to sign his contract and do his photoshoots (apparently Jack has nicknamed Foden ‘Little Phil’, which his taxi driver thought was hilarious). There he meets Pep, who gives him a very charged up-and-down look if approval while also lightly reprimanding him for not wearing a suit to a meeting with the Gaffer (it’s Jack bloody Grealish, what did he expect?) Jack looks a bit put out after this convo, but obediently follows his schedule anyway (enjoy it while it lasts, Pep)...

He signs his contract holding his pen like a chimp, or the wag little kids do, and I almost closed the app at this point. The photogs then set Jack up with a 10 shirt, which instantly cheers him up and has him wagging his tail ready to go again. He even gives a little tutorial about his signature sock style.

It’s...all very Jack🥅

[quote]Doc: “it’s the incline [on the treadmill] that gets you” Jack: (lost) “the wha-?"

Jesus, Jack, it's a two-syllable word!

R215 it’s hard to know how he even gets dressed by himself. He makes dim bulbs like Jamie Redknapp seem articulate and pensive. I am struggling to think of a more stupid British celebrity...maybe Lee Ryan?

In a way, Jack’s stupidity safeguards him against quite a lot of cruelty and hardship. People don’t like picking on someone that thick, and it’s more of a pleasure to make him happy—in the way it feels good to amuse and delight a little kid or a puppy (there’s a great little clip somewhere online of 23-year old Jack dopily chasing blown bubbles around a pitch while his teammates look on smiling). His sweet oblivious charm is a weapon in its own right.

Given Jack’s apparent brainpower, it is still so difficult to believe he outsmarted a legally-binding contract when Harry Kane couldn’t. Either he’s got a team of decent and switched-on people around him, or he’s more than just a pretty thighs after all.

Jack showing off his lovely tits for the Cityzens.

Jack holding his pen incorrectly to sign his contract (does that make it void? Please say it does....)

I came at R17

erm R217