Twink Shark Attack Victim Keane Hayes: "I vow to swim 301 days this year!!"

He looks like Frankenstein's monster.

Keane here with former twink Tony Hawk...

The shark didn't do enough.

One can still the unfortunate "original visage" under the more-pleasant scars.

Poor tyke. Fearless Victim. Who can't keep his shirt on and whose father made sure there were plenty of $$ photos taken when the "attack" occurred.

It's going to be a brief 15 minutes.

He's a weird looking kid.

His strange features are only going to get stranger, the older he gets.

Imagine a shark trying to eat a fat chick.

You can tell how many posts this idiot creates because he's the "gurl" poster.

Just stop it, freak.

I eat old peoples' excrement!

How tall is this kid?

He must be a giant!