I Hate My Housemate With The Fire of a Thousand Suns

Is he hot OP? You two should put your differences to bed already.

Yes. Poorly.

No he isn’t hot. AT ALL.

^^ Maybe that's at the root of your hatred.😏

OP, you'll be happier living by yourself. And I know exactly how you feel. The last time I had a house mate I was crossing off the days until he left on my desk calendar at work.

SLAP HIS FACE, SLAP HIS FACE VICIOUSLY!

I hate people who use cliches they picked in old movies like "The Devil Wears Prada" and think they are being witty.

Maybe it’s Florida you hate Mom.

No honestly if he were just a decent person I’d be fine. But the last year has felt like a prison. The worst part is always second guessing yourself and trying to believe all people are good as heart, etc. NO. Some people are just assholes. Sometimes people without friends have none for a reason.

Just be glad you're getting away from him, OP. Make sure you do all you can so he can't contact you after you're no longer living together. Some people are emotionally retarded losers and just won't leave you the fuck alone.

good luck op!

Sometimes compatibility means everything when living with someone or else your life will be miserable. I hope you make it out soon for your sake.

I’ve had to tolerate a lot of gaslighting via passive aggressive behavior. Just like the movie, you start doubting your perception of things. Is someone really that big of piece of shit? YES. And the more you try to ignore, the more they up their game.

How soon do you move out, OP? Do you have everything squared away for your escape from him? Give him as little notice as possible. Don't tell him where you're moving to.

Care to tell us some of the awful things he does?

Dip his toothbrush in the toilet as an act of secret revenge!

Maybe when you’re are big boy OP you can get your own place!

You are a**

"Now that COVID is less of an issue, I am moving..."

I've changed the locks. You're not coming back here.

OP, you have my sympathy. I know a couple of people who have been in your shoes. They were really miserable before finally leaving.

I guess Ive just been lucky in life. Ive only had one roommate I ended up truly hating,the rest were fine. Then again I havent had to live with someone else very often . Thank God. When I encounter people in life who I despise but have to deal with,I handle them all the same way,frigidly polite . Theres no doubt in their minds I hate them,but they cant really say Im rude or whatnot. I did work with this guy once for about 8 months that I loathed so much I simply didnt speak to him. At all. One day my boss asked me "is it just me,or do you never speak to Steve?" and was astonished when I told him I hadnt spoken to him in months, He was all how can you do that ??? Easy,they just dont exist to me.

I had a really difficult co-worker who would take credit for my work among other manipulative and disgusting things. I took a couple of workshops about dealing with assholes but some great advice I always remember was given to my by a psychiatric nurse when I asked her how to cope. She said, "always speak to their adult and avoid them as much as possible." I found that very useful. Of course, it's harder when you live with someone but generally it works for me.

One very difficult person was part of a small social group that saw plays together. After I while I noticed him baiting me and making digs, dismissing my opinions and such. I responded by being an adult and not letting my buttons get pushed but I finally left the group. I don't need friends like that. He was totally self-absorbed, everything was about him. Good riddance.

^ I met the nurse through a volunteer job, I wasn't a patient.

I've mainly had nice and accommodating roommates. The problem is if you're naturally accommodating, a selfish person can come easily and take advantage

What’s wrong with your roommate?

OP - I think if my roommate wasn't cool, I would've killed myself in the last year. Luckily I knew her for a long time before we became roommates and even travelled together once. That is I guess why things turned out well. I think maybe I have been the shitty one this last year with depression, drinking more and smoking a lot. However, you have my sympathy. She did say how she had a roommate in college (also a guy) who smelled like cold cuts, was dirty, never did his share of the housework and would gaslight her. He was "straight", but obsessed with old time bluegrass stars. He would be cool, have a beer, put on a nice movie and then make passive-aggressive comments, call her "princess" (found out her parents were well off), talk about how he loved her clothes but he preferred a casual style on women, said he thought it was great that despite being from LA she didn't get breast reduction but he personally loved flat chests. She said he would keep his bedroom and computer and phone closed though she and the other guy in the house didn't. Strange smells came from his room...he was fat and kept calling the other guy the "skinny, little Italian". When she took a 2 week vacation to see her grandfather for the last time in Romania he said "wow...that is a nice, leisurely life you can afford". When she went to the market, she brought back the receipts and the other guy gave her his share for his stuff and this asshole threw his share at her and said "you are always covered in money...kidding!!!" Said she left because she literally had thoughts of just busting a chiar upside his head. She suspected he was gay and self-loathing.

If OP hasn't told us after 25 replies, R25, I don't think he plans to do so now.

I got to the point in my life in my mid 20s when I realized I could no longer live with housemates and that whatever I did I would have to live alone or with a romantic partner for the rest of my life, and that anything was worth it--even changing cities if I had to (which i did not have to do, thankfully).

OP, it sounds like you are past that point. It's now time to move or shut up.

Living alone sometimes is the best thing in the world.

I love living alone. And recent got rid of the spare bed. To be soon replaced with an ottoman bed. If guests don't like it they can stay @ a hotel!

I know financially you sometimes have no choice but to deal with roommates, but living alone is the best. I was so happy when I could afford my own place.

Even though I liked some roommates I had, there is is peace of mind that comes from knowing this is your place you have all to yourself.

I'm glad that you're moving away from a negative situation and into a more healthy environment for you.

[quote]No honestly if he were just a decent person I’d be fine. But the last year has felt like a prison.

I'd just say, as a person who is usually nice, remember that. You weren't the only one that had a rough year, I'm sure your roommate did as well. I think this past year tested a lot of relationships. If you two got along before COVID, then when you look back on this, (while of course blame the person for being a problem during it) remember that both of you were caught in an unusual circumstance and who knows, if not for that, you two may still get along.

This happened to a lot of my friends this past year and even broke up a few long term couples. They were great until they were essentially stuck together.

OP is aging Southern belle Blanche Devereaux.