If You Could Resurrect Any Dead Celebrity,

[quote] Her talent was enormous in comparison to her resume. Would love to have seen decades more of her.

She didn't want to be seen. She said she only worked enough to keep her insurance.

OP, dial it back a little. Your disingenuous is on full blast.

Jeff Buckley, he was gone far too young.

R3 = Olivia de Havilland.

Joan Rivers, Fox News needs some more comic relief!

Gilda Radner or Madeline Kahn.

John Candy

Anton Yelchin

Remember to add why you’d want them back

Madonna

Wallis Warfield Simpson Windsor. Just to hear her take on the Sussexes

[quote] Remember to add why you’d want them back

[quote] Madonna

Why would you want her back?

Divine

Divine!!

YES!!!

No explanation needed.

Ann Ramsey so they could make Throw Mama From the Train Again

And Cuddles/The Egg Lady, she was one in a million. Edith...

I still miss Joan Rivers. Even though she was a fan of Trump pre-2016, I don't think she would have boarded the "Trump Train."

JFK jr, To watch the Qanons and everyone else shit a brick.

[quote]And Cuddles/The Egg Lady, she was one in a million. Edith...

Edith was so rah-sha-sha.

R16 Get a clue Scooby Doo. Joan never said a bad word about Trump evah.

Liberace, Rock Hudson or Divine.

Maybe Paul Lynde would also do the trick.

R19 True, but he wasn't running for President when she was alive.

Massey! It’s Edith Massey. And here I kept thinking Piaf.

Heath Ledger, because he was a great actor.

I'd love to hear Edith Massey and Edith Piaf sing a duet, R22.

Madeline Khan, because she was hilarious.

Mitch Hedburg. Loved his humor, his delivery, his shyness.

Joan Crawford, because my maid needs a serious kick in the ass.

The Jan Hooks Troll is an insult to Jan Hooks.

Elizabeth! The Abbey misses you my Queen!

Walter Cronkite would kick ass and take names.

Mae West, because why not?

Patsy Cline, to show Carrie Underwear and Miranda Lambert what an actual singer sounds like.

Dorothy Dandridge so she'd get the career she deserved.

"Maybe Paul Lynde would also do the trick."

He threw one over the balcony.

Princess Margaret....she would rip Markle a new one

Phil Hartman deserves a second act

Prince Philip.

Aretha Franklin.

For the Twitter showdown with Aunty Dionne.

You know Aretha would have ditched the Fax machine to drag Dionne on Twitter.

Roberto Clemente would probably done some more wonderful things.

Carole Lombard

Bette Davis. Because she's fucking Bette Davis bitches.

John Lennon

Bea Arthur -- because Betty White needs a contemporary in her final years.

R34 LOL! (I knew someone would take the bait).

R21 She supported Forbes son when he ran for the Oval Office (& he came out with some ant-gay positions). So why do you think Trump would've been any different?

She even called Barack gay & his wife a "tranny". Her true Trump colors were showing in the final years of her miserable life. She loved $$$ like Trump (they both had $ issues at various points of their life & bonded over having ugly daughters who wanted to ride their coattails). Face it Joan would've been on Fox News (next to her pals Geraldo & Rudy) for the past 4 years kissing Trump's orange ass.

Tom Petty.

[quote] John Lennon

Jesus Christ, no. He can stay dead. He was a piece of shit.

The ONLY reason he should come back to life is to re-write his will and give Julian his fair share.

Dorothy Stratten, Dominique Dunne and Rebecca Schaeffer all deserve a chance again.

Well, R44, she would have been a much better opening act than Diamond & Silk.

Betty Bacall, cause she's a cunt, but a staunch democrat

R47 Buffy from Family Affair would fit that bill too.

R46 “piece of shit?” He was a genius and a complicated, troubled man. He wasn’t perfect but his work brought many people joy and still does. What more can we expect from our celebrities?

Shari Lewis and LambChop so they still have their chance at porn

r51 He wasn't perfect? He beat his first wife, cheated on his second, left his first son, who he basically abandoned, virtually nothing in his will.

Yeah, I would say he was a piece of shit.

Lucille Ball for Mame 2.

Art world Eva Hesse, Diane Arbus, and why not Van Gogh as well.

R53 I read his first wife’s book; according to her, he hit her once when they were in college (I realize that that is enough to cancel him).

As a young father during the height of Beatles dame, he was callous towards Julian, yes. In the years before he was murdered, they had began to be close.

He also admitted his failings towards his first wife and Julian and said so publicly. By all accounts he was a devoted father to Sean. Most people NEVER change, never admit their mistakes. He did and I find that admirable.

I think both of his sons wish he were still here and that’s enough for me.

Rod Serling from the Twilight Zone, just to bring me good teleplays.

Humphrey Bogart - the greatest actor of all time.

Fame not dame.

Speaking of dames, though, I will say I think Yolo Ono was a terrible influence on him and worked very hard to keep him from Julian.

Gore Vidal would have loved to tear down Trump

Milton Berle 💯🍆💯

I don’t know if she counts as a celeb, but I really wish Jane Austen had lived and written for another 30 years.

I can think of one little cretin I NEVER want to see again

I can’t believe no one has said DL icon, Jeffrey Spaide.

Bambi’s mother, because I cannot take that loss even one more time.

Brittany Murphy. I think she never really got the appreciation she deserved. I just know that in this streaming era she would have gotten some huge role that would have finally lavished her with the adulation she should have gotten as the best actress of her generation. And I wanted to see her get well and dump her loser husband.

Ugh, I hate the Ono bashing. She was on track to be one of the greatest conceptual artists of the twentieth century and that relationship sacrificed her career.

Walt Disney. No matter what you think of his empire now, the man was an imaginative genius. He wanted to bring the world joy and we desperately need someone like him today.

George Michael

R67 Nothing has stopped her; she has continued to create up til fairly recently. In fact, Lennon’s fame and wealth gave her a much larger audience than she would’ve had otherwise.

Phil Fartman.

HARTMAN. PHIL HARTMAN.

Mike Wallace of 60 Minutes is sorely missed, I’d bring him back in an instant.

[quote] Shari Lewis and LambChop so they still have their chance at porn

Their entire run was porn - the sex where the wo-man go up into the lamb.

Joey Stefano and Tyler Sky.

[quote] Heath Ledger, because he was a great actor.

I did not like Heath Ledger in his role as "Joker".

R76 you made my night! Thank you!!

Sue Simmons from New York’s Live at Five.

Yes, she’s alive, not even close to being dead. I post this as a chilling reminder of what can be lost.

We miss you, Sue. Bring her back.

I don’t care who it is, but would one of the dead celebrities come back and slap this cancel culture, pink hair, 73 genders bullshit right in the face!!!!!

Ike Turner, so when he threatened our Tina again I’d kick him square in the nuts.

Prince

He disappeared from the music scene for years and never made that triumphant comeback the world was waiting for.

River Phoenix. So much potential, gone too soon.

Freddie Mercury. To hear him sing and admire his beauty and top him. But he probably would hate what Queen is doing to his songs, how much fake talent there is, how Mary let herself go due to severe depression, how his partner succumbed to cancer, and he would probably punch me for bringing to back at a time that a new plague has hit so I'll let him RIP.

Bump

I’d bring back Nicole Simpson and Jon Benet, just to get the truth from them, once and for all.

I’d bring back Mr Rogers, who would pat my head and tell me the pandemic is almost over.

Ann Ramsey from The Goonies and Throw Mama From The Train.

I’d choose Lee Harvey Oswald, who could put this matter to rest a la r85.

Bert Convey, so I could run my fingers through his perm.

Charlotte, from Charlotte’s web. I’m still scarred, what a sick ending.

Gene Rayburn so he can host Jeopardy!

R91 Why not bring back Trebeck, or do the have to be dead for a certain amount of time before resurrection?

Richard Dawson would be a perfectly skeevy host for Jeopardy.

Jesus Fucking Christ on Sunday, just to see everyone shit their collective pants.

Ted Bundy

Marie Antoinette, for science. I want to see if her head comes back attached, place your bets here.

[quote] I want to see if her head comes back attached, place your bets here.

Semi-detached

Dorothy Zbornak

Walter Cronkite, finally some dignity.

Jessica Savitch, minus the mouth barnacles

Young Stalin! For obvious reasons.

[quote] Young Stalin! For obvious reasons.

Cock hard as steel.

Ben Franklin. I'd like to see his reaction to the world we live in now. If there is anyone every person in Washington would listen to, it's him.

Alan Rickman and Robin Williams

Carl Sagan. I liked his soliloquies about the origins of the universe. Maybe once resurrected he’d have stories about the other side of death.

George Michael. It just seems odd to me that he’s gone. He should have had more time on earth.

My deceased mom loved Frank Sinatra. If he was alive, she would be too.

Teri Schivo

Michael Jackson

Walt Disney is a good one. Just before he became severely ill he told his son in law he just needed another 15 years because he wanted to build EPCOT.

Had he not been a smoker we would have gotten to see it and it might well have been the full flowering of his genius.

Joan seemed to have the beginnings of dementia at the end of her life and she became difficult to watch. She wanted Trump as president but if she had seen the reality who knows how she would have reacted.

Reinhard Heydrich - such a hunk, so much work he had left to do.

Will Rogers - it would be interesting to hear what he had to say about today's politics.

Not Lucille Ball

Joan Rivers 🙌🏼❤️✅

[R85] you are joking, correct ?

It's factual knowledge OJ is guilty. Have u been under a rock?!

Or delusional

Dan Fogelberg. Died much too young, with so much more music left to give. My mother mourned for what seemed like days when Dan died.

Joan Crawford

Sharon Tate

Kurt Cobain. I know there's a 90% chance he would have faded away had he sobered up and lived. But a few more Nirvana records - especially the acoustic one he talked about - would have made teenage me very happy.

Jon-Erik Hexum

[quote] or do the have to be dead for a certain amount of time before resurrection?

Only over 2 nights--parts of 3 days

David Bowie

Cass Elliot

Shakespeare. Not least because he used his plague time rather well, writing three great tragedies.

But also - just how did you do all the rest of it Bill? Was there any subcontracting at all? If so, your brand has had a damned good run anyway.

for purely physical reasons: clint walker, steve reeves, jon erik hexum, etc...(all in their primes of course)..

to have her sing to me: karen carpenter (32 is just too young)....

for their maturing beauty: sharon tate and for her maturing beauty, manner and wit (marilyn)...

to make me laugh: gilda radner

Judy Garland. (47 y.o.)

I'd give her some hot coffee, get her off the pills and booze, call Halston, get a vocal coach to bring her pipes back to speed, and schedule her for another stint at Carnegie Hall with an updated set list interspersed with old chestnuts.

And get that Gypsy movie back on track--she'd be a great Mama Rose at 50.

Anthony Bourdain. I found him arrogant, caustic, very intelligent, extremely deep and philosophically minded, and in some weird way very sexy (not his looks, but....something).

There was definitely a "good guy" under that exterior. He is the ONLY celebrity death that actually made me sad. He'd be my "if you could have lunch with anyone dead or alive" choice.

For selfish reasons because I miss them so much; Bowie, Rickman, Carrie Fisher.

Since I can only choose one I’ll be unselfish and say Chadwick Bozeman because it was so cruel to give young black kids a superhero of their own just to take him away so abruptly and cruelly (and by all accounts he was a good person in real life.)

Farrah Fawcett. My lawn needs fertilizing.

R129 You have a good heart. His loss was too young, too harsh.

[quote] Judy Garland. (47 y.o.)

Judy was one of the most talented singers ever. She also had a lot of pain and struggle throughout her life. Despite that, she had a good heart, which is hard to encounter in Hollywood. At a time when gay people were oppressed beyond belief, they identified with her struggles and she theirs.

[quote] Cass Elliot

I want to resurrect the pig who died to make the ham sandwich. Poor piggy poo.

Karen Carpenter

Chris Farley, for making me howl with laughter. A sad clown, gone way too soon.

Prince. No explanation needed.

Karen Carpenter, so I could make up for the shit her family put her through.

Teddy Roosevelt, so he could whip some Republican asses, starting with the Trump family.

Farrah Fawcett, so I could live my dream of a Charlie's Angels Golden Girls reboot. It would have been magnificent, dammit!

R91, For $400: "Dumb Dora was so dumb (how dumb WAS she?), she thought 'Potent Potables' meant...."

Remember to answer in the form of a question!

This is a bit of a weird one maybe - I disagreed with him half the time, and he could be obnoxious, but...

I have regularly wondered what Christopher Hitchens would make of everything that's happened since his death, and I do sometimes feel bummed I can't read what he says about now. There aren't many people left who write in that way, I find a lot of shallowness in articles these days.

Little Edie Beale, because she's fabulous.

Anissa Jones because Buffy.

Tori Spelling.

Laura Branigan. She deserved more than dying in her sleep in relative obscurity. It’s nice that she’s being written about a bit more the last couple of years.

La Merm!!

Donna Summer

Another vote for George Michael so I could see him live in concert.

I’d bring back Prince Philip, just to see the looks on the BRF faces when he walks in midway through the funeral.

Do I have to resurrect her or can I just dig her up?

TIA.

Do we have to choose a whole one or can we take various parts from many and build our own new prototype?

R148 = the not-yet-resurrected Jeffrey Dahmer.

John Lennon, George Harrison, David Bowie

A lot of people have mentioned Prince, Bowie, Rickman, Carrie Fisher, etc., so I'll go for someone more obscure: Kim Walker, whose one famous role was as Heather Chandler in Heathers. Died of brain cancer while still in her 20s. No idea what sort of person she was or how she would have developed as an actress. I have the feeling she would have been someone to watch.

Not really a celebrity, but the murder of Innis Cosby really struck me as a tragedy on so many levels. It's like no amount of wealth or security can protect young black men.

"Ennis" Cosby, of course...

[quote]Walt Disney is a good one. Just before he became severely ill he told his son in law he just needed another 15 years because he wanted to build EPCOT. Had he not been a smoker we would have gotten to see it and it might well have been the full flowering of his genius.

I think his poor diet was as much as if not more to blame than smoking. Ever since people stopped smoking tobacco, people have gotten even fatter.

All the time he spent trying to appease that nasty woman from Australia could have been spent on EPCOT.

OP, great choice. Jan Hooks was richly talented and a really great person, too. I would love to have her back with us.

OP, do you mean resurrect them as vampires, or resurrect them as zombies?

R153 Many people don’t know that Disney, too young to volunteer in the army during World War I, instead volunteered to drive an ambulance since you could be younger. During his deployment he caught Spanish Flu and barely survived. His health was compromised then for the rest of his life.

If I resurrected them, would they have to obey my evil bidding?

I would order a bottle of absinthe and prepare to be engaged for a bit.

I wouldn’t mind a dose of calm, cool, collected Walter Cronkite these days. The man rocked a mustache, too.

Christopher Hitchens, for his intellect, wit, and ability to call out fools and foolishness.

I miss him terribly.

Rod Serling, for his quiet social commentary.

Julius Caesar

I'd like to see what he makes of the world today. How so much has changed, but also how little has also.

R160, I’d love to have heard what Hitch’s take was on the hypocritical televangelists who were up Trump’s ass. I may not have agreed with some stuff he said, but he pulled no punches and called the religious nuts on their bs.

[quote] All the time he spent trying to appease that nasty woman from Australia could have been spent on EPCOT.

Explain please.

Some dead celebrity directors I miss are Hitchcock, Cukor, and Capra. Any or all of their resurrections would benefit the world today.

I loathed Christopher Hitchens. He was part of that dreadful conglomerate of English middle-middle-middle-class media assholes whose likes include that twat Martin Amis and the appalling Jonathan Meades.

He wrote a long essay about how outlawing smoking in bars and such was a vote against the culture of irony.

Then he died of esophageal cancer.

Which seems pretty ironic to me.

If we have to have a writer back let's have Janet Flanner.

Jon Erik Hexum and I could keep him in my basement to myself ! :D

George Gershwin, dead at 38. To be able to hear all the unheard melodies that died with him.

I have this weird fear Hitchens would fall into the Greenwald Taibbi camp on Trump, hating the Clintons so much that he'd have to be sympathetic to Trump. It would actually suck to see that.

R162 Caesar is a good choice for insight. Emperor Elagabalus rocked some,pretty good parties/orgies.

R167, just make sure all the guns are locked up.

I would vote for Gore Vidal. One long now that you're dead Tell Us What You Really Think About Everybody, television special of course since he loved being on TV. Also, he has to be drunk, or at least tipsy.

I miss Hitchens, too.

I was going to say Linda Ellerbee of “Overnight,” but she’s very alive, just... missing. How could they let that happen, she’s a genius.

R164 I’m not the original poster, but Disney’s feud with P.L. Travers is well known to the point that a cutesy movie was made out of it.

F164

Robin Williams, hands down. His death gutted me, and I miss him. Also, John Belushi because every time I see Jim I'd rather see John.

Overnight with Linda Ellerbee was prime viewing back in the seventies, excellent choice.

Saint Peter. Spill the T bitch, and don't give me this Son of God bs. What were you bitches up to?

Justine Bateman, that bitch deserves a chance to look a little bit better.

Gianni Versace, I miss your designs.

I’d resurrect Andrew Cunanan just to punch him in the face.

Tim Russert. I enjoyed Meet the Press when he hosted it.

Thanks, R174.

[quote] One long now that you're dead Tell Us What You Really Think About Everybody

But he wouldn't be dead! See OP.

I’d bring back the Christmas Moose, and Pierre. I really miss him.

Mother Andrew Caldwell

Aka Bathhouse Betty