Are John Mulaney and Jake Gyllenhaal Fucking?

A cruel world, that something this hot could be occurring and we'll never get to see it for ourselves.

No gay man says "sucking off a rocking twink".

isn't Mulaney in rehab?

R2 who said that?

John Mulaney, R4.

We're going to need proof, OP,or at least some credible hearsay. Otherwise I can only assume you're just fantasizing.

I don’t think John Mulaney has any sort of sex. He looks too delicate.

CirCUMstantial evidence

Jake is not sexy. He’s hairred with waxes, flat assa and Asperger eyes. His sister’s better at acting than he is, too.

Is Mulaney still in rehab? How could they be fucking?

Mulaney is out of rehab as of three weeks ago.

True or not, it's certainly hot to think about.

Gyllenhaal appeared (for no particular reason) when Mulaney hosted SNL on 2/29/20.

Check out the body language between those two.

Which one goes up inside the other?

[quote]His sister’s better at acting than he is, too.

No one has ever had anything bad to say about her acting.

I always thought she was great but she was stellar in The Honourable Woman a few years ago.

Jake wishes he could do what she does when it comes to acting.

Didn't Jake have McBongo when he was still hot? This seems like a downgrade. But possibly an upgrade from Spidertwink.

You seem troubled, Jake. Let me comfort you.

[quote]Gyllenhaal appeared (for no particular reason) when Mulaney hosted SNL on 2/29/20.

Because he was on the Sack Lunch Bunch with Mulaney, that's why.

The Sack Lunch Bunch was released three months earlier. They weren’t promoting it.

He had been on Fallon the night before SNL promoting the "Sack Lunch Bunch" r18.

You should know that because YOU linked to the video of Mulaney on Feb 28th, and you clearly know they appeared on SNL together on Feb 29th.

It was promoted as "sort of" a SLB reunion.

Cut it the fuck out.

Do they rub dongles together? Which one is bigger?

"Do they rub dongles together? Which one is bigger?"

Obviously Jake, since Mulaney is Irish.

[quote] flat assa and Asperger eyes.

R9 hahahahaha what? I have ASD (and a pancake ass), and I have never heard that expression. What do Aspie eyes even look like?

[quote]isn't Mulaney in rehab?

A more important question is, Isn't Mulaney married to a woman?

If this is true, then Jake must come on strong with his co-workers.

He has been linked to Austin Nichols (from Day After Tomorrow), Henry Cavill, Tom Holland, and now Mulaney.

I can't imagine Jake being this player-stud who seduces other guys, but hey... who knows?

Mulaney, Tom Holland, Amy Schumer's husband, Tom Sturridge, just to name a few......

Jake is hot. Mulaney is gross. I sincerely hope those two are not fucking one another.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

I remember Jake showed a screenshot of a text from Tom Holland on Instagram. I noticed rather than Tom, he was in Jake’s phone as T. Bae.

Okay, so this story might be questionable, but the one thing that seems to be confirmed is that Jake Gyllenhaal is DEFINITELY gay. Right?

He's 41 years old, and still hasn't been credibly linked with any female.

For a Hollywood A/B-lister, that's very unusual.

But the stories of Jake being with guys, is totally off the charts.

Plus, wasn't there this hilarious video of Jake being a total showtune queen when he was younger? He was flaming it up!

Is Mullini jealous?

R29 at this point in the timeline, I can’t tell anymore if Jake’s in a glass closet, or if insisting that he’s gay is just a DL Bit that’s become codified.

I can picture it, and I like it.

Reply 17 alleged HenryxJake info

Of course they are. Toothy is nailing John into his headboard next door as I type.

Who is better at sucking ?

John had been working on Pete Davidson for a couple years but Pete is obviously straight. Maybe Pete's rejection pushed John into the alcoholic/cocaine free fall that sent him into rehab.

[quote]Who is better at sucking ?

John. He's been wanting it longer.

Obligatory “Jack Nasty!”, since no-one else has said it yet.

Remember, every Jake thread requires one.

I hope so......it's makes a nice mind picture.....

R37, so John is a closet case?

If he was hitting up Pete, it was probably because of the rumored big dick.

John sounds like a size queen whore!

Admittedly, Mulaney is very handsome. He and Jake would make a cute couple.

What does John Mulaney's wife - Annamarie Tendler - think about all this drama?

R42 “I am so sick of wearing the strap on!”

So was along as John kept sober he was able to keep the Gay at bay, but once he tooted the nose candy and drank the JD all he wants was the big D?

What John wants, r44, is to drink all of JG's big D.

Is John fat now?

Replacing nose candy and booze with actual food, plus being put on psych drugs, can cause newly sober people to balloon.

R46 speak for yourself, sweetie.

[quote] Are John Mulaney and Jake Gyllenhaal Fucking?

God, I hope so.

[quote]The Sack Lunch Bunch was released three months earlier. They weren’t promoting it.

Sack Lunch Bunch was the only thing he had done in a while and since Netflix is on a streaming platform that can always attract new viewers, it's not uncommon for someone to continually promote a series from there.

Hell, he was having cast readthroughs and sharing art on instagram long after the show was out during the pandemic.

It's his baby.

Jake is older and scruffier than John, so John can feel like the higher value mate for once, instead of pining for the younger straight Pete Davidson.

R9 hairy with wax?

I don't care how big his cock is, I find Pete Davidson totally undesirable. He looks like he smells of weed and 6 day old sweat. Madonna would ave him, just because of his dick size, but what man could stomach it?

Has John announced his divorce yet?

I am interested to hear what he has to say about the rehab. Must have been a crisis to go days before Christmas.

Maybe he needs new material for his standup? Most of his material seems to be about his childhood, which is very Millennial and deeply creepy. Millennials seem to have incredibly arrested development.

I have posted this before but an old friend of mine worked for and was friends with Kristin Dunst. She told him that their relationship was fake and that Jake was gay.

Jake seems real gay.

Mulaney is an odd duck. He’s fixated on his childhood, yet he has the mannerisms and speech patterns of an old man. I’m betting there’s a story there.

I’m hoping they hook up and become one of those gay blogging couples, we lost so many of them this past year we really need some new ones. But not like that Taylor and Jeff, they’re turgid, more sweet like Blue and Matt or Zach and Alister.

I hope so!

Any Mulaney news?

Surely one of you NY bitches has seen him out and about?

How can people this young, this independently wealthy and have the ability to live wherever they want STILL be closeted? Is is just cowardice? I don’t get Jake.

Not only that, R49, as I linked earlier in the thread, there were articles about that very appearance that show it was absolutely without question about promoting the "Sack Lunch Bunch."

OP just made shit up to start a thread and then bailed when he started to lie to keep the thread going.

Which one has the little birdie, OP?

John Mulaney's body is a turn-off. He gives good face but then it all falls apart once the clothes are off. I don't think he has ever lifted anything besides a cup of coffee in his life.

You're a turn-off, r64.

I also think that he should work out a little but he is far from a turn-off

Idk how Jake feels but John seems to have a crush.

Jake seems drunk in clip at r67.

Sorry, meant John.

Maybe I’m drunk.

Jake is closeted because could you imagine if he came out? It would be big like Ellen. He’ll come out when he stops getting the A list or blockbuster roles. Reese sure ran for the hills. Kirsten didn’t want it either... I haven’t heard of him having a beard in so many years...

R68, he probably was drunk. Looks kinda puffy. I think he's been off the wagon for a while. In that video at 13:03 his friend kinda rats him out with that chugging pedialyte business. I've never known adults to do that unless they were really hungover.

Can you imagine how incredibly tight John’s hole must be?

He told us, R72.

[quote]Can you imagine how incredibly tight John’s hole must be?

Those were the days!

Can their celeb couple name be "Mulanal?

Celeb name is “Joke”

Is this article about Mulaney?

John had a funny joke: "When I got a prostate exam my doctor kept both of his hands on my shoulders to comfort me. He's a great doctor."