I Want To Be Underwhelmed, Winter 2020-21 ( Part 2)

I watered my ficus tree about 10 minutes ago.

I went to make rice for my lunch, and my bag of rice was nowhere to be found. I searched the back of the cupboards, and nada. Maybe I threw it out by mistake.

The long-term weather forecast for Philadelphia calls for days and days of near-normal temperatures with only a chance of scattered rain or snow showers.

R1- Ficus trees are HIGH maintenance.

Take a read of all the low-information, illiterate trolls running amok through this forum today.

R3- I'm in the NYC area tomorrow will be one month since we've had any snow.

I woke up this morning & there was a dirty plate in my room with traces of egg yolk, a fork & a crumpled napkin. Sometime last night after I took my lunesta I guess I poached an egg & toasted a piece of bread. I have a vague members of talking. 1 piece of bacon out of the fridge, but nothing else.

My dog’s nails need clipping. I might do that tomorrow.

I was too lazy to put the fitted sheet on my mattress yesterday so I need to put it on now. The whole weekend was spent napping.

R1 and R4 This is why bought a fake Ficus at Pier 1.

Turned fucking, fucking, fucking cold overnight with high winds. Woke up this morning, opened ny front door & there was a little ruby crowned kinglet flitting around looking for bugs, poor little thing. I’ve only ever seem one in a wildlife refuge. And it was summer. I thought they migrated in winter. That must be one hungry little bird. I put some dried worms in the corner on my porch but it didn’t come back. I’m sure the other little birds ate then later. If not, a possum or raccoon will eat them tonight.

It jus5 had a tint streak on its head. At first I thought it was hurt but then I recognized what kind of bird it was. Looked like this

“tiny streak”

My neighbour is a lesbian, Karen, bitch.

I detangled the mane of my lionhead rabbit.

I just made brownies after shoveling my car out after this big snowstorm in NJ.

My organic brown eggs whose yolks are usually very vibrant have been suspiciously pale lately. I haven't shit in 3, maybe 4 days. Maybe too many eggs?

I got stoned and watched Angels&Demons. Every time Tom Hanks the symbologist opened his mouth, I laughed.

I’m going to eat ham now.

I waited in a long line-up to get into a big grocery story because of the pandemic and the Superbowl tomorrow. I'm having a lot of anxiety during the pandemic and this situation really triggered me. But I got through it. I wish this free-floating anxiety and fear that I developed out of the blue during the pandemic would fucking go away. It's making my life semi-miserable.

Scottish bats

My cat some how locked himself in the closet for the better part of the afternoon.

I heard him scratching on the door and meowing.

I opened the door, and he came out of the closet.

Now he's whistling show tunes and tap dancing.

I plucked the gray hair from my poosie. But what's left makes it almost smooth.

Im trying to get out of my culinary rut. So I'm experimenting for the first time in my life with bacon!

It's horrible. Greasy fat. Tiny shards of edible meat surrounded by white grease.

I can't be bothered using scalpel to remove the fat. So I cut it roughly in the frying pan and pray some of the fat will evaporate.

It doesn't so now I've thrown in 3 handfuls of chopped kale to hopefully absorb the grease.

It's 11:17 am I have not eaten in almost 21 hours. I do this twice a week ( skip dinner).

I started a Keto diet for Lint. I had no keto brownies last night. I have no willpower

I sometimes scroll through the Unusual Pie Flavor thread, and just think about pie. However, the thought of making any of them is very whelming.

I moved my car because there are huge icicles hanging from my neighbor’s eave, right above where it was parked, and they’re melting and I was worried about getting brained by one of them.

Sorry, forgot to link to the thread above, for those who find the search function to be whelming.

My iPhone 6S died. It was warm when I checked it this morning so I took it off the charger. The charge went from 100% to 1% in a couple of hours. Now it won't charge or turn back on.

March will come in like a lamb here in Wisconsin.

Mid-40s starting Tuesday

This year is moving too quickly.

And I hate this El Nino business.

I'm getting my car inspected this week. I hope they don't find anything bad.

r32, I had to replace my entire transmission with a new one. It cost me in the thousands.

Hopefully, I took all the bad luck for you and your car is fine.

What r31 said too. I'm overwhelmed at how time is flying.

My kitten eats too fast and gets the hiccups. He also burps. 🐈

R23, I am whelmed by the idea that you reached adulthood without having eaten bacon. You poor child!

As you've probably discovered by now, the kale will not absorb the grease. It will just get limp and greasy. Those of us who are not bacon virgins - who might even be called bacon sluts - know to pour off the grease into a glass or metal jar (NEVER down the sink) and then drain the bacon on paper towels while blotting it with another paper towel. Also, the crisper you cook the bacon, the more fat will render out of the bacon strips. Also part 2: Cook bacon slow and low (or in the oven) to render out maximum fat without burning it.

I hope this advice was sufficiently underwhelming and unwelcome. I myself have made bangers and mash (using what Wegmans sells as "Irish bangers", so who know what the hell they are) for dinner.

Someone called Danginobwebwe Tenabo sent me an email today.

It was via Facebook suggesting that Danginobwebwe Tenabo should be my friend. I Immediately trashed the email before opening it.

My dog is happy. That makes me happy.

I'm having a Mountain Dew Zero. It has none of that whelming caffeine in it. It's blah.

Every soft drink claims to be zero.

I remember when Men claimed to have 10 inches.

I am a lurker/stalker.

I am following an Instagrammer in my city. I am checking on this big party weekend. He lives away from the city so I was checking 'Instagram stories' for his Friday evening party and now I'm trying to figure out where he slept on Friday night/Saturday morning.

Qtips cancels wooden sticks.

I can't wait until 6 PM today when I can take an edible.

I bought a new pot.it’s too big.

Underwhelming First-World, Solvable Problem I'll Get Used-To Because I'm Too Lazy to Learn How To Use the Controls to Adjust It:

I, for the first time ever, bought a TV.

Before, I've always received, gratefully, a used hand-me-down from a family member that was good enough for me. I've replaced one that was inherited with this new one.

I splurged. I bought a fancy, new, 65 inch screen latest model "Smart" Samsung with all the latest Apps and streaming.

I have a negative aesthetic reaction- everything, even film from old-timey movies and series, looks video-taped.

And the Darfur Orphan thinks he/she has problems?

R46 just wait! HD is hard to get used to at first Everything is hyper realistic. I thought Bette Davis was going to jump right into my LR one night.

R46, heed R47. The sharpness, clarity and dense color is striking and hard to get used to at first. But you will.

Once you do get used to it, watching anything that's not HD will be painful. Oddly - or maybe not oddly, IDK - I find SD much harder to take in color than in BW. On the other hand, remastered HD BW TV is spectacular. Perry Mason looks much better streaming or on DVD than the show ever did in broadcast.

Your encouragement is appreciated, r47 and r48.

I'm starting to get used to it and enjoying it a bit more each time I watch it.

[quote] I thought Bette Davis was going to jump right into my LR one night.

lol

I got my first knee cortisone injection this week. I think it helps a bit, but not a lot.

Saturday was the FIRST day of Spring.

BIG DEAL

We have split the underwhelming in two.

My foreskin no longer retracts. They gave me a steroid but it isn't working. I'm going to have to be circumcised at 60 to prevent infection. Mazel Tov!

Until tonight, I had no idea Bobby Caldwell is white!

Someone swept out the condo garbage shed.

Dead from hantavirus R56

I'm almost done doing my laundry. After I fold my clothes and put everything away, I'm going to go for a walk. It's sunny and 61˚ outside and I need the exercise.

A bad thunderstorm just came through, but it wasn't as severe as the NWS had predicted it might be.

So I just stumbled on a chubby chaser DeviantArt account that posts sexualised drawings of obese female cartoon characters, ranging from Marge Simpson to Disney princesses, feeding each other. And the saddest part is that it wouldn't even crack the top fifty most disturbing things I've unwillingly seen on the Internet.

Roose Bolton has the best voice.

I was always into Petyr Baelish's come fuck me voice, myself...

Last night I dreamt I went to Montauk and got Botox injected into my hands to make wrinkles disappear. It cost $450 and the drs who injected it seemed to not really be drs. I didnt pay the bill because I lost my credit cards and didn’t have a checkbook on me. I explained to the staff what a checkbook was. I hung around the office chatting to the staff for a bit, promising to come back and pay my Bill, but i noticed they were making fun of me, so I left. I wanted to leave the whole hotel/clinic but when I went outside I saw the sea was very rough with extremely high waves crashing on the shore. In order to get home I’d have to walk perpendicular on the highest point of the dunes.

So I got my car - it was a dingy old 4 cylinder thing with peeling paint. I drove it between a car and a van & it was a very tight squeeze. There were some old ladies unloading stuff from their car & they had to jump into the van to avoid being run over by me. Once I got past the van I stopped the car & yelled “Sorry ladies, I didn’t realize it was such a tight squeeze. Sorry” and drove off. But then I realized they might call police on me so I parked behind the hotel/clinic and got in the front door by mixing with an incoming crowd.

I went down a corridor and found an empty room. I figured I’d stay overnight until the surf calmed down. I pushed a shower curtain back and saw there were some leftover suds in the bathtub. I thought “not very good maid service here.” I laid on the bed and tried to sleep but I felt a nagging sensation. So I got up and that’s when I noticed a pair of sneakers at the bottom of the bed. Oops! I’d better get out right away, before the occupant of the room came back! I slipped out the door and saw a man in a bathrobe coming down the hall& he yelled “Stop! You, stop! You just came out of my room, you thief.” I shrugged my shoulders & ran because I felt he would beat me up before I could explain it was just a mixup in room numbers.,

I kept doing really antisocial, illegal and plain rude stuff thought the dream, like a silent movie star leaving a wake of destruction behind. But I knew that everyone in my dream knew my name and would come after me. I felt if I got home I would be safe from them, but everyone would be talking about what an asshole I was.

I bought a few things at CVS. The cashier applied my $2.00 ExtraBucks to the bill and then charged me for a second bag of chips at $1.85 when I only purchased one.

R63 your dream is fascinating!! What in your waking life are you afraid of being found out by people? We don't need to know, but think about it.

R64 You have the same coupon karma as me. It sucks!

You are wonderful [R11]. I hope I didn’t accidentally FF you. I was trying to hit WW and I may have overshot.

I’ve got a full loaf of bread left in the kitchen, and I am wondering whether to throw it in the bin to start my new keto diet tomorrow morning, or eat the bread and start my diet at the weekend.

R68 true dilemma! Is it really good bread or just normal bread?

R69, it’s normal bread. Not wholemeal or sour dough. I really felt like buttered, white toast today.

R70 chuck it! Or have the toast. Whatever whelms you less.

Seth Meyers talks too fast during his A Closer Look segment, he needs to slow it down just a tad.

I think I’ll have toast with scrambled eggs for breakfast.

I bet Seth Meyers doesn't talk as fast as Ben Shapiro. He's like the seconds hand on a clock face.

I have blisters on my fingers from digging up dandelions. And there are more I have to do tomorrow!

Dandelions are one of the first foods producing nectar for bees in early spring,

Ben Shapiro is a squirrel on meth.

In my head, I always pronounce "WTF" as "wuh-tuh-fuh" rather than "double-you-tee-eff"

So do I.