The kids in the Shriners' Hospital ads

I'll tell you what's wrong. That little shit Caleb is trying to take over and oust me from my rightful place as Official Shriners Spokesperson!

Ennui.

They are ugly and annoying.

They suffer from hangnails, Rose.

Caweb

Usually with the disabling congenital conditions that most of the kids in the Shriner’s commercial have, its more than one system that’s affected. A lot of the time they’ll have outward features related to the systems being affected. That’s why if you talk to many pediatric/ neonatal nurses there’s a term they use colloquially, FLK (funny looking kid). Often it’s these nurses that look at newborns/ neonates and see something is off so they’ll ask for order to test for genetic conditions. Most of the time the physicians and nurses are in agreement but the proper way to approach the parents is another thing. Also more often than not the genetic testing confirms initial FLK diagnosis.

I worked at the intensive care nursery briefly and those nurses are almost never wrong about potential FLKs. Although funny story, we had a baby whom they were sure about having genetic anomaly because well, FLK. Turned out when the dad showed up it was evident the baby looked exactly like dad and dad had no documented health/ genetic problems.

They can keep their "Adorable" blanket. Use my donation to help kids.

Adowable

Alex, you’re a freshman at Northwestern—time to drop the kiddy act.

They haven’t accepted Jesus as their savior yet.

I feel so sad for those kids. Heaven has a place reserved for them.

Thank you R6.

That adowable bwaket is ugly as fuck. I'm sure it was made in China foe 5 cents

That god awful country singer who moans “I’ll Be Home For Christmas” at the beginning of the commercial makes me so fuckin’ mad!

The kid has a voice exactly like Elmo. I don’t know which is more offensive—the bow tie or the blanket.

[quote]The kid has a voice exactly like Elmo. I don’t know which is more offensive—the bow tie or the blanket.

I LOVE both those kids.

I mean like I REALLY love them...

[quote] The kid has a voice exactly like Elmo. I don’t know which is more offensive—the bow tie or the blanket.

What’s most offensive is the fact they’re allowed to live.

These kids have osteogenesis imperfecta, or brittle bone disease - it's congenital.

"osteogenesis imperfecta acauses frequent bone fractures that are present at birth and result from little or no trauma. Additional features of these types can include blue sclerae of the eyes, short stature, curvature of the spine (scoliosis), joint deformities (contractures), hearing loss, respiratory problems, and a disorder of tooth development called dentinogenesis imperfecta."

They get fractures easily and hence, need a lot of surgery.

[quote]What exactly is wrong with them?

They're alive.

I saw plenty of FLKs (funny looking kids) while doing pediatric residency rotations at a major quaternary care center - all the strangest cases were sent there.

I had one baby that looked half-Klingon. Another had "bird man syndrome" with this pointy little head and giant beak.

All the rare FLKs were the products of cousin cousin marriage (either Indian or Arab).

R20, did you ever see any Benedict Cumberbatch alien-looking kids?

This is actually what happened.

Pinheads, the lot of them.

The Shriners' Hospital kid troll is one of the weirdest DL trolls.

I have worked in SPED for almost eleven years. The kids in these commercials are far better off than some.

I don't wanna be a pinhead no more I just met a nurse that I could go for I don't wanna be a pinhead no more I just met a nurse that I could go for I don't wanna be a pinhead no more I just met a nurse that I could go for I don't wanna be a pinhead no more I just met a nurse that I could go for D-U-M-B Everyone's accusing me

[quote] The Shriners' Hospital kid troll is one of the weirdest DL trolls

I started an adowable blanket thread last week, and I’m not the OP of this thread. I don’t know whether the other Shriners’ kids threads have been started by one person.

Y'all going to hell in a handbasket with these comments...

The one in the wheelchair is adorable.

Adowable.

I'm a cunt but I draw the line at making fun of children who were born with congenital defects.

I prefer to use my cuntery on those who have shown, the course of life, they deserve it.

[quote] I prefer to use my cuntery on those who have shown, the course of life, they deserve it.

Well the two cuntwipes with their annoying voices and cloying manner have certainly show through the courses of their lives on those commercials that they deserve it. One can only change the channel so quickly and certainly not before hearing their mewing, manipulative moppet voices. Nails on a chalkboard.

They're not kids, I recognize a few of them from Scorsese movies.

[quote] I recognize a few of them from Scorsese movies.

One of them played a short, fat mobster's wife in a wheelchair. The cripple's size was not much smaller than that of the actor playing the mobster. It looked believable until the cripple opened his mouth and said "I'm tired of wocking the baby's cwadle!" The mobster then mercilessly beats the cripple with a bath towel.

Most annoying commercial ever....they could use a speech therapist

They’re ‘tards!

those squeaky voices..... (vomit)

they give me migraines

now I don't feel bad any more, thought I was the only one getting annoyed by this desperate ad lol

Some of them have childhood cancer. St. Jude also does a lot of cancer research for kids.

Caleb is so freaking cute, every time I see one of those commercials, I want to reach for my credit card! That blanket is not adorable though.

They had to auto tune the fuck out of all of them singing in the Xmas one.

[quote] Caleb is so freaking cut

He’s also 28 freaking years old.

I like these ads because of the grown-up Shriner guy who looks kind of Samoan - he's so hot!

[R43] seriouly?????? :O

NYC tv personality Baruch Shemtov is now trying to get some cripple cred.

R43 Caleb is cut?

[quote] Caleb is cut?

Perhaps he is cut up in multi places?

One more day of work and then we close for the holidays!

Sorry, wrong thread!^

God, I love these Shriners' kids threads. They always crack me up. More, more!!!

I feel sorry for Alec. Caleb is ‘Eve p’ To Alec’s ‘Margo Channing.’ He’s being phased out now that his voice is changing and is getting creepy looking.

I much more prefer The Kids in The Hall instead, that Scott’s Buddy is so funny!

[quote] is getting creepy looking.

He’s always been creepy looking.

In the other SH threads, though, there is some genuine affection for these kids along with the snarky and crude humor. I can’t mock them...life is hard enough for the healthy. And I’ve donated to this hospital in the past.

But I do think of you all when I see the commercials and smile.

[quote] And I’ve donated to this hospital in the past.

Why not St. Jude’s? It has a better paint job.

When Jerry Lewis died, they didn't know what to do with his kids, so they move some of them to the Kids for Kars commercial, and put the rest in the Shriner's Hospital ads.

The one who paints with his feet should host The Joy of Painting. Bob Ross would approve.

Alec looks 35 to me but apparently he’s only 16

[quote] r57 Kids for Kars

Is that the one where you donate your unwanted kids to support needy cars?

[quote] r57 Kids for Kars

Is that the one where you donate your unwanted kids to support needy cars?

Adowabo

Usually it means too few rocks or the bag wasn't tied tightly enough.

OUR kids are 'way cuter. And I'm not just saying that because I'm the cuntiest cunt who ever cunted.

All I know is that this gig isn't big enough for the two of us. Caleb better watch his back and his wheels . I'm not fucking around, fellas.

They're both too short for that gesture.

[quote] OUR kids are 'way cuter.

But yours are bald, Marlo. Cuteness cannot make up for baldness.

Those stricken kids live better than I do.

Alex is probably banging the Shriners Hospitals CEO's wife.

^Alec

[quote] Alex is probably banging the Shriners Hospitals CEO's wife.

Is she a dwarf too?

They are Republicans.

Feel like I’m going to hell for laughing this hard over crippled children. 😂 The auto tuned Christmas song is enough to give anybody cancer over the TV. Why are they airing commercials if they need money so badly? Cut the advertising budget and use it to save lives.

[quote] The auto tuned Christmas song is enough to give anybody cancer over the TV.

Well they’re welcome at St. Jude’s!

Ooh, I got a cap of my Samoan Shriner from R44. So hot! Now I have to find him. I wonder if the Shriner's have a directory by race?

They agreed to do the commercial without compensation. THAT’S what’s wrong with them.

Why not donate your stimulus amount (will it be $600 or $2,000 or nothing) and receive that beautiful blanket.

R77, The blanket destructs after one washing.

The "I'll Be Home for Christmas" commercial is two years old. So they're not spending a lot of money on new production cost; they're paying for the airtime. (Maybe they get a special rate from the networks since they're a charity organization.)

This thread is some of the funniest and most fucked up shit I have seen on DL in months. God bless us. Each and every one.

This thread is some of the funniest and most fucked up shit I have seen on DL in months. God bless us. Each and every one.

Anyone who thinks I am willing to work for free can go fuck themselves. Having to live with my condition, such as it is, requires MONEY if I want to get my freak on with a couple of whores and an 8-ball. That is why this little fucker Caleb needs to find a large hill with a busy intersection at the bottom and get the fuck out of my spotlight. I'm warning you, you little shit!

I’d rather have adowable Shriner’s kids action figures instead of a blanket. They should put them in Happy Meals.

The Shriner's Hospital threads are... "the best part of my day!"

Uhh huh.

That fucking country bastard is still moaning I’ll Be Home For Xmas. Makes me so fucking mad!

Those kids have to be pushing 40 by now

I think the Shriner's Hospitals do great work, but I am seriously off put by the way they whore those kids out in their ads. I have little doubt they haven't had Caleb and Alex professionally trained by acting coaches. They are far too polished and adult like. Having kids, especially kids suffering serious health issues, act in such an adult manner is simply strange. And I also suspect that once they've gotten all they can out of those two they'll cast them aside like they were yesterday's news and find some other kid in their midst who is trainable for the camera.

And you just know both Caleb and Alex both think they are real stars.

R85, calm down. She's not a bad singer.

R87, I think these kids are mature for their age because they've spent so much time in hospitals and medical offices, bonding with adults instead of kids their own age.

When they hired Caleb, they didn't toss Alec aside. They know that viewers are familiar with Alec and expect to see him in the commercials.

I’m the real 🌟

Trust me, Alec's day is coming. His voice has changed and he sounds and looks like a 45 year old midget. He's no longer cute and "adoiyable". And it's only going to get worse. I can picture him sitting in his makeup trailer between takes, smoking and cussing up a storm, demanding his makeup artist make him look more attractive. LOL

R90, I think he's 18 or so. A TV station did a feature on him last year. The interview featured his parents, with whom he's very close. Last year, his parents gave him a car with pedal extensions.

[quote] they didn't toss Alec aside.

That because no one tosses a dwarf!

I applaud Shriner's for showing what most children look like. Mass media commercials would make you think they are all cute and smiley. They are horrid, little demons.

[quote] I think he's 18 or so

Goodbye, commercials -- hello, OnlyFans!

I'm pretty sure they all have terminal fibromyalgia.

I would watch 10 of these ads rather than one ad about animal abuse. I CANNOT TAKE the animal abuse commercials & immediately grab the remote & banish them as soon as I hear slow, warbly singing.

Other than their shrill voices, you mean?

R96 Sarah McLaughlan ruined her whole singing jaunt with those commercials. Depressing, not they're destroying Willie Nelson with them.

The "kid" Alec is no kid. He runs a junk stall at the Richmond Hill Flea market in Queens. He's there every Sunday chewing on a cigar, never lights it, I don't think they allow smoking.

Saw Kaleb and his puny boney ass on my TV again tonight. I’m watching Hazel, stop doing this to me!

These kids look ok to me. Maybe they'll get their own sitcoms. "Call Me Caleb"?

[quote]When they hired Caleb, they didn't toss Alec aside. They know that viewers are familiar with Alec and expect to see him in the commercials.

Just as Hollywood had Jayne Mansfield, Mamie Van Doren and Sheree North lined up as a message to Marilyn Monroe.

"We made you, Alec -- and we can BREAK YOU too!"

Alec supposedly just turned 18. In what, Blanche, dog years?

"Kaleb? Marlo Thomas here. You ever considered coming to work over here at St. Jude's? No sharing the spotlight with the Hobbit Ted Cruz AND I won't make you pimp out adowable bwankets made by five-year-olds in Bangladesh. I can guarantee you six figures a month, a clothing allowance, and we can talk car service and bonuses based on how much money you bring in. Tell your agent to call me and for your own safety, don't let Alec know about this."

Marlo Thomas isn’t gracing us with onscreen presence.

A lot of those so called kids have COPD from smoking.

The commercials seemed to have gotten far less frequent—thank God.

This afternoon I saw the latest Shriners ad with their newest offering, Sebastian! He’s not creepy like the other kids: the piano-playing Mongoloid, weird Irish-jigging Asian, or perma-tardfaced Kaleb. Sebastian is genuinely cute and I know he’ll be growing up to be a dashing, fully functioning sex God soon. They showed him getting up out of his wheelchair on his own, unlike that treasonous cripple Madison Cawthorn. He will be worth the few years of keeping Momma’s mussy moist until he’s at least a bit closer to legal age.