Your Crabs Story

Patti Lupone recently told Andy Cohen she had crabs twice

Early 20's which was eons ago. Went to the STD clinic and the doctor shone a bright light on my pubes and I could see the little fuckers scurrying around. Total freakout and i vowed to stop being a slut--which lasted less than a month

First bf in college gave me a case, claimed it was from a cheap hotel we stayed when we were desperate to fuck but both our roommates were around. I should have dumped him then, it was one of the first indications he was a serial liar and unstable.

But God, he was cute and a good fuck.

It was a dark and stormy night...all of Bikini Bottom was stricken with fear...

I had a reasonable amount of sex in my twenties, but not nearly what many of my friends were having, yet I managed to get crabs four or five times before turning thirty! So gross.

I was mortified to ask the druggist for A-200 (which a friend and I used to jokingly call A-2000) because it was kept behind the counter. He seemed cool though and told me to follow the instructions exactly!

R2 Fuck.

You a nasty ho.

I wish my story was hot but it's just sad lol and semi-funny. I was semi-prudish as a 90s, in my early 20s gay. I had a friend who had a slutty roommate in LA. I used to hang out there and I did hang out with them before going to see friends in Phoenix. When I got there my crotch was on FIRE! I was like WTF. At first I thought it was the heat but when I discovered a seafood buffet munching on my junk I was mortified. I shaved EVERYTHING and took the appropriate drugstore stuff to my body.

When I got back to LA I told my friend and he said, all, well got them - Jenny (slutty roommate) has them and they jumped around from the couch up our shorts.

My friends in AZ got them - it was a married couple - they assumed one was fucking around and got into a huge fight and almost broke up. When I explained what happened we all had a laugh but it was pretty embarrassing.

Why do people not seem to get crabs anymore? I am 30, have had and do have tons of sex and have had a few STDs but never crabs. They just seem so 1970s to me.

Much like Covid ... In the 70's early 80's there were far more of us having casual sex/ hook ups so the chance of spreading these fuckers went up exponentially

I was about to tell you guys about how my dad would boil them in this special mixture of Old Bay, Beer, a hint of Bourbon and some special spices... but clearly this is not that thread. Sorry.

The guy who gave them to me (but who affected to believe I gave them to him) gave me a bottle of RID, which I used to no avail. Finally I experimented by leaving one of the lice on the windowsill (they can't get away) covered with a generous drop of RID. When I came back from work it was still wriggling, alive, so I could see the RID was useless and just shaved my crotch (which was not customary in those bygone times). Fortunately they never itched.

Crabs are so awful and embarrassing there's no one you would tell

I discovered I had crabs on a Friday morning, and was due to fly to France (from London) that evening for a long weekend away with my boyfriend for his birthday. I swear I don’t know how I got crabs.

We were flying with hand luggage only, so no liquids over 100ml. So I had to deal with the crabs that day, before our flight, otherwise I’d have those fuckers on me all weekend. I went to work, and at lunchtime I got the bottle of anti-crab lotion. I had to go into the disabled toilet at the office, strip naked, and slather on the strong smelling lotion from head to toe. Then I went back to my desk in the open plan, stuffy office. Of course, the whole office could smell it. Everyone was too polite to say anything, but then the IT guy came to fix something at a desk near me, and he didn’t hold back. “Jesus, what’s that smell? Who’s wearing that perfume?” Etc. It was a long afternoon.

R6 If you see this: You have forced my hand into stalking your ass all over DL since you have very conveniently forgotten I exist and are now ignoring me. And all these fine people here can bear witness to the fact that it's entirely your fault that I am mental, now! Stop ignoring the love of your life and go reply to me in "our" thread, if you know what's good for you, bub! Much love, as always. [Note to all: I am totally joking. Mostly. ;-)]

I only eat Maryland blue crabs.

Crab doo happen even to the clean Lady like my Self.

I only had the imitation version. Great in California rolls!

R14 is one of the crabs.

R18: You're a big meanie-head. Do you want to be my new boyfriend since R6 unceremoniously dumped me a week before Christmas?

It sucks when you're hairy and they start making it down your legs and up your chest.

I got them when I hired Colt model Rick Wolfmier. Yes he was HAF but nobody wants to pay $100 to GET crabs. When I called him and told him he denied it and said that I must have got them from somebody else but I knew that I hadn't been with anyone else.

Years back, I took a trip to Japan, and immediately prior to leaving I must have picked some up. I used to get around a lot, (actually I still do). The itching started while I was in Tokyo, had a look down there in the hotel room, yep, little fuckers be crawling. I had to venture out on to the Ginza that evening and find something to kill em all. The Ginza is Tokyo's premium high end shopping district, considered to be one of the most expensive, elegant, and luxurious streets in the world. But fuck me I couldnt find a pharmacy for the life of me, until I tried a Takashimaya department store, they had a pharmacy a couple floors up.

But now.... I had a language barrier to overcome. Girls at the pharmacy counter didnt understand what I was asking for, so I had to resort to mime. First tried scratching myself, that didnt get the message across. Finally I actually got down and did a wild crab impersonation scuttling sideways back and forth on all fours in front of the counter.

By this time all the girls had come over from cosmetics plus some others and some customers had come to watch the crazy gaijin put on a show. It was this plus miming frenzied scratching of my crotch that suddenly produced results - understanding - and gales of laughter from all present, the penny must have dropped simultaneously across the crowd that had by now gathered. I didnt care, I got the medication I needed. And got the fuck outta Dodge

I like your story R22 but I bet you could have asked a concierge for help and it would have been less arduous.

Don't wait for the shrimp boats, Mom, your son's coming home with the crabs.

R23 dont think the hotel I was in had a concierge, it was a budget joint. Not the worst I ever stayed in by a long shot neither

I met a cute, young guy when I was about 30...he claimed he lived at home with his parents, didn't drive, and worked at Walmart while in college. I picked him up, we did the deed, and while I was driving him home he admitted he actually worked the front desk at a sex club. Of course I knew right then I'd made a mistake, and I found the crabs a few days later and syphilis a bit afterwards. Never saw him or communicated with him again...to have caught both from him was humiliating. I think I was celibate about six months.

I was celibate for a long time after too. I was so humiliated as well.

I’ve had them four times, and I’m only 29 and not especially slutty. One of those times I’m pretty sure I got it just from my towel hanging up next to my sex addicted housemate’s towel. The first time was the worst because it took forever for me to realise I had them, by which time I had a pretty bad infestation. I was young and living with my parents at the time, I still worry that I probably gave it to them and they just didn’t say anything. I got them from a long-distance lover who knew he had them but didn’t have time to buy the lotion before I arrived to stay with him for a week... he decided to just let me get them and not say anything about it. He was twice my age and definitely should’ve known better. He didn’t even admit to it the first time I asked him about it.

I’d definitely take crabs over scabies any day.

Best protection against these little fuckers is to remove their habitat. Thats why I shave myself down there, and thats why a lot of guys do. I mow my pubes every week religiously, it works too

Sorry R29 but no one wants to fuck people with shaved pubes anymore

I was a college student backpacking across Europe in the 70's. Hooked up with a hot construction worker in Italy. Few days later discovered I had crabs. I didn't speak Italian and couldn't find what I needed at the drugstore. So I bought a nail brush and scrubbed scrubbed scrubbed for the next two weeks until I finally got rid of them.

R29 has never seen Scary Movie.

A hairless body is as much of a boner killer as crabs

Scratching what you think is an unknown scab prompting it to move and walk away only to find many more instantly casts you as the star of your own private nightmare horror movie.

I eat all the bread and pasta and potato chips I want. No story, just a fact.

Crabs? Nah, I'll pass.

The amount of shaving and manscaping that goes on today has massively cut down on crabs. Twenty years ago, less than 10% of men were cutting down their pubes. Today, it's over 75%. And that's including straight guys.

Crabs burrow into your skin as much as hang onto body hair

R30 hasnt been a problem for me at all, in fact I did better once I started shaving down there. A lot of guys have them shaved here now. Makes your cock look a bit bigger, quite apart from being a good protective measure against crabs

R36 exactly. I dont hear of it any near as much as I used to

R37 removing the body hair means they got nothing to hang onto to start with, cant burrow into something they cant get a grip onto

They don't burrow into your skin; they hold onto the hairs. Once you shave (or even trim down to stubble) they can't hang on and you're rid them them. Then the hair grows back.

R39 crabs burrow into your skin and lay eggs in your body hair. Just because you shave your body like a woman doesn't mean there isn't any hair.

R38 inaccurate

There's also the nit glue to worry about. I heard apple cider vinegar and tea tree oil are good for getting that off your body.

R39 your info is from 1960

Crabs get all over your clothes, sheets, towels and rugs not just hairy bodies

[quote]Makes your cock look a bit bigger

It really doesn't. Just makes it look like it belongs on a 12yo.

Stop rooting pedos v8fairy