If Barbra Streisand were president

She has a better chance of being elected Pope.

It does not matter, OP. She isn't running for office or entering politics.

You need to set higher goals in your life, OP.

It's just a thought-experiment, r2. We have these all the time on Datalounge.

Your own life's goal should be unclenching.

[quote] It's just a thought-experiment,

Call it what you want, OP. I call it stupid and the reveal of your pointless existence.

We'd still be waiting for her acceptance speech because she would be fiddling with the lights endlessly and she'd be driving Kamala crazy over what shade of white she would wear.

I think someone didn't get an extra slice of pumpkin pie tonight!

OP You funny, girl.

TBH when I see threads like this, I ask myself, why am I even here in the DL?

Then, I quickly click on 'Presenting Cakes' and recover my enthusiasm.

Underground private mall under the Oval Office.

Press room microphones painted white and the podium angled to the RIGHT.

Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper preemptorily unconsidered for any invitation to a state dinner.

I'll tell you one thing, those stimulus package negotiations would have went "as soft as an eeeeeeeasy chair."

It's over, R5. This clunker of a thread can't be salvaged.

R6, is that your thought-experiment? OP was trying to sound prolific and failed. You are as dumb as he is.

She's repaint the White House a tasteful new hue so it would be the Beige House.

Kamala would be replaced by a very blonde waspy white man who would have to constantly reassure Barbra of her beauty.

She’d demand the West Wing be moved to the East of the White House.

To get her “good” side.

She’d demand every building in DC be painted off-white.

When her secretary of state reported talks breaking down, the president would wail, "So put up your dukes and FIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!"

Oops, sorry OP. I forgot this was going to be one of your scripted anti-semitic threads.

You straight people and your hate. Your toxic nature will shorten your life.

I think someone wrote and had published a book called "What Would Barbra Do" imagining how Barbra would react to practically anything. You might want to purchase it to satisfy your Barbra cravings.

Her tweets make her sound like not the most politically educated person out there.

They are basically just Democrats are good and republicans are bad.

Most intelligent and less rooted in bitterness than Bette Midler’s though.

[quote] Her tweets make her sound like not the most politically educated person out there.

Just like your threads.

Yes Midler sounds really bitter. I wonder what she'll complain about now that Trump is done.

[quote] Most intelligent and less rooted in bitterness than Bette Midler’s though.

And the anti-semitic begins...

What if Barbra Streisand were and astronaut? Would she want to go to Mars? Would they let her bring her dog?

Oh no you again r20? Still demanding footnotes and source material for every DL thought expressed? You are going to have a long wait for that..

The national budget would be blown on Diptyque candles, Tiffany lamps, and chenille throws.

I'd like to hear Barbra rank her lovers and describe their naked bodies, frankly. She had some really hot affairs and boyfriends and husbands.

Vladimir, wait!

If Barbra Streisand were a brain surgeon, would you let her operate on you if you had a traumatic brain injury? What about an aneurysm?

Only if she trimmed her nails.

[quote] If Barbra Streisand were a brain surgeon, would you let her operate on you if you had a traumatic brain injury? What about an aneurysm?

No way. Can you imagine her trying to handle a scalpel with those five inch long nails.

Shounds great!

Can I be Shpeaker of the Houshe? Or would I better in the Shenate?

Constitutional amendment telling her she was beautiful would be key policy goal.

She'd make People the national anthem and all sports events would have to begin with it. Which would be far preferable to the tedious Star Spangled Banner and I'd know all the words.

She would have Kamala Harris cloned in case the first one died.

"Yentl" would be the Saturday Night Movie of the week after Shabbos every week of the year.

"And you all know my new Secretary of Schmatta, the fabulous Donna Karan!"

US flag redesigned by Donna Karen in shades of pebble, tan, and sandstone.

The Resolute Desk would have a mirror on it along with a button she could push that would say "Hello, Gorgeous!" to her on demand.

Kreplachs made in the shape of her nose would be added to the State dinner menu.

The nation's motto on all its currency would be changed from "E Pluribus Unum" to "You Go, Girl!"

She would make smart choices and pick smart people.

Happy Thanksgiving, OP/Jason Gould!

She'd remake "On a Clear Day" and have Daisy Gamble come back in her previous lives as playing Fanny Brice and Dolly Levi as well as Liesl in "The Sound of Music" (a role she auditioned as a replacement in the original Broadway production and lost).

A special Naval SEALS unit would be assembled to take out Lainie Kazan.

It's probably true that the only 2 words to scare Barbra Stresand were "Lainie Kazan"

She would have special CGI technology used to have a younger version of herself deliver the State of the Union, preferably in the Cecil Beaton fringed turban from "On a Clear Day."

Morgan Fairchild has a huge Twitter presence. Very political, and such beauty. A great dame.

[quote] Morgan Fairchild has a huge Twitter presence. Very political, and such beauty. A great dame.

R46 is trying to distract the anti-semitism with Morgan Fairchild. The anti-semitism will return in a few posts. They are not permitted to stray from the agenda.

She'd pardon her performance in Nuts.

R47 oh sorry I didn't read the posts. Please go back to your anti semitism. Bye!

I see Matt Anscher is posting up a storm on this thread.

Who let him out of the nuthouse?

She'd move into the White House and paint it yellow.

Can we also talk about what sort of president Richie’s dad from “Happy Days” would be if he were a real person, and elected president?

No.

[quote] She'd pardon her performance in Nuts.

She should be impeached for that.

I've got nothing to be guilty of, bitches 🎶

Always Perrier, not Pellegrino water at the WH

Profiteroles for dessert at all state dinners and if former President Trump were to attend he'd get two otherwise he'd dump the prime rib and mashed potatoes entree on his head and start crying.

Taxes would be raised to cover the cost of her lighting gels for interviews.

Issue an Executive Order ensuring all mirrors in the WH have two faces.

Welcome the Dalai Lama with a Hello, Dalai! production number in the Rose Garden.

The new M

Love Barbra

If she were president, the Oval Office would be filled with candles and throw pillows.

I love that this thread get so many responses.

crazy r2 must be so mad

Barbra Streisand ONLY got into politics big time after Bill Clinton was elected, like he was going to ask her advice after. Like because he was her age group, he and Hill would welcome her opinions. NOT

The colors of the American flag would be slightly changed to dusky rose, cream, and steel blue.

Babs would put her picture on all the currency. And flirt endlessly with Douglas Emhoff.

Immediate plans to renovate the White House basement to accommodate a mall, I mean extra storage.

I dunno, R26. They were usually out the door before the lights came on...and after the contract was signed.

They would have to enlarge the White House to accommodate her nose.

President Streisand addressing Vladimir Putin:

She’d issue a coffee table book titled “My Passion for Statecraft.”

The national anthem would be changed from the Star-Spangled Banner to 'Papa, Can You Hear Me?', Senate sessions would start with everyone singing 'Don't Rain On My Parade' and judges would be forced to sing 'Guilty' whenever giving an unfavorable verdict.

James Brolin would have a career once again.

It would become compulsory to watch all of her cinematic masterpieces at least once a week, especially What's Up, Doc? and The Mirror Has Two Faces, which were underappreciated by misogynistic critics.

Mount Rushmore would have to be re-carved, because Madam President doesn't share the spotlight with some random nobodies. It would also be renamed 'The Babz Immortal Goddess Memorial'.

By presidential decree, Thanksgiving dinner would be permanently changed from turkey, to chicken soup and buttah.

Jason Gould would be declared Greatest Singing Prince of the Universe, and goats would be declared the National Symbol, in honour of his face.

Washington DC would be renamed Babzington DS (Diva Supreme), and the White House would be repainted in the RIGHT monochromatic white shade, as a perfect background to highlight the truth of every moment.

By Presidential Decree, Barbra would be declared to be 28-years-old, but everyone would be forced to tell her that she looks 18, and her nose is beautiful.

She would jail anyone staring at her nose.

Her OCD would overcome her and she'd insist the White House be called the Off-White House.

(I once went to a show of hers and when it was done she said if we wanted to we could stay and watch her do some pickup shots for the HBO Version. She had to go back and change into an exact duplicate of the outfit she had on because it was a different shade of white and she needed that for some shots. I don't know how she ever built that mall without going mad.)

On a good day (which is rare) you could call her President Babs, otherwise it would be YOUR HIGHNESS!

Her Oscar would be displayed in the Oval Office and everyone would have to genuflect before it.

Evergreen would become the new National Anthem.

You just know the White House wouldn't be white enough and she'd have it fuckin' painted!

You know she only has Oscar halves. She never got her own %100 Oscar. I mean you could put them together but it's cheating.

100%

She'd order mandatory circumcision.

She would launch into the heavy Yiddish accent from [italic]Funny Girl[/italic] for serious occasions like the SOTU ...

"Well, ah ya gonna be obstructionist, or ah ya gonna be reasonable LIKE A PUYSUN?"

She’d issue an executive order demanding Jason act like a man.

She'd still be singing at her own inaugural.

R82 Is he effeminate?