Let's be Kevin Spacey unexpectedly crashing a Thanksgiving feast

I'm his second bottle of rum.

I’m cousin Jesse, flattered by the attention of a star.

I'm your teenage nephew, who is now being stalked by Kevin

I'm his roaming hands while everyone else is saying grace.

I'm his pointed disappointment that no chicken is being served.

I'm the liquor cabinet, which Kevin is currently raiding

I'm the lawyer he has on speed dial, waiting for the inevitable call. I specialize in sweeping things under the table.

I'm Mr. Spacey saddling up next to Junior on the sofa and patting him on the back.

"So son, I hear you're a great ball player."

I'm Kevin drunkenly serenading everyone on the piano.

I'm Aunt Ida, glad she's hard of hearing so she doesn't have to listen to his version of Beyond the Sea

I’m the sexual assault allegations that were eventually dropped, which Mr. Spacey is certainly thankful for this year.

I'm Diane. And, no, he's still never laid a finger on me.

I'm Spacey prelubing with the gravy.

I'm the footsies he's playing with the college nephew across from him.

I'm Joel, and Mr. Spacey keeps following me around, even waiting outside of the bathroom for me.

I'm Kevin's "manager" who he dragged along

I'm the boozy clueless aunt who doesn't see a wedding band on his finger and is throwing herself at him.

I'm Dianne. Kevin loves me.

I love you, Dianne....but I love booze and boys more.

Sorry, bitch!

I'm all of the eggnog he's drank after realizing where his career is now.

I'm Christopher Plummer. I'll replace Mr. Spacey after he inevitably gropes one of the young nephews during the afternoon game of touch football.

I'm the bondage gear hidden in my leather manpurse that everyone assumes is full of scripts.

I’m using cranberry sauce as undertable lubricant.

I'm Joel jumping from his seat as Kevin declares at the table that he's thankful for these nice warm buns.

I'm the offer to wash and dry with Ida's humpable young nephew Troy, freshman track star of Ole Miss. I'm not planning on getting any dishes done tho!

I'm the tingle of aftershave on Mme Spacey's balls after freshening up before dinner.

I'm the third dead body 9 years from now. I will be mostly missing for a few years and then parts of me will be found by a railroad track.

Didn't he post something like this same time last year, except maybe three years ago? Isn't he retired now?

He looks more and more like an old lesbian.

This sounds more fun than my Thanksgiving this year

Uncle Kevin, why is your hand down my pants?

I'm Kevin's legal team, trying to a avoid another lawsuit

I didn't know Spacey was such a drinker.

I'm the guest bedroom he doesn't need because he's going to be bunking with Joel

R29, 'Ol Kevin does look a bit like the head of a Women's Studies Department at OP.

I'm the dog who will be forced to take a post-midnight walk and beard for Kev's cruising.

I'm the trick who will be "mugging" him to "steal his phone" tonight in the park

I'm Joel and I'm frantically locking the door to my bedroom. I won't get much sleep tonight.

R20 [quote] I'm all of the eggnog he's drank

Oh dear.

I'm everyone rolling their eyes when he does his Johnny Carson imitation

“Why doesn’t everyone just stay the night”

I'm Kevin playing Santa and inviting the young boys to sit on his lap

I'm the opportunistic young guy with an average sized dick but annoyingly small dick head which makes the entire package unattractive. I will be penetrated by Mr. Spacey's tears later on tonight as he cry-rapes me. I will grow up to be a bobblehead.

I’m the token lesbian who just came for food and booze, falling asleep on the couch as Kevin is talking about his big come back role.

I'm the pre-dinner joint Spacey shares out in his car at dusk, with the teenage nephew at R3. As I'm consumed, Spacey asks R3 about his favorite movies & other interests. Spacey also asked him not to tell anyone about the smoke sesh, because there isn't enough of me to go around.

I’m not there.

I'm all the males who are under 40 and reasonably attractive. We'll make sure to sit as far away from Kevin as possible

I'm Anthony Rapp crying into his turkey and mashed potatoes!

I'm the onesie Spacey is wearing with the open flap for his bare butt.

I'm the handsome and ambitious aspiring-actor nephew, who's home from LA for the holidays.

I'm hiding in the bathroom, texting everyone I know and begging them to call me with a fake emergency, because if a rumor ever gets out that I screwed Kevin Spacey in 2020 my reputation in the field is ruined! One photo with the old perv on social media and I'm through!

I'm the free acting lessons Spacey offers to give the wannabe actor nephew in his bedroom.

And the "acting lessons" mostly involve some groping and a funny-tasting drink

I'm the fact that he wasn't much of an actor to begin with. "Amateur theatrics" is a polite phrase for it.

I'm the fresh-from-the-oven pumpkin pie, hoping to God I get eaten before Kevin has a chance to fuck me.

I'm that awful holiday sweater.

I'm the attire Mr Spacey's legal team insist he wear when they heard the hosts water polo playing twin nephews were home from college

I'm your 16 year-old-son's underwear. Kevin fished me out of a hamper while pretending to use the bathroom, and now he's wearing me like a face mask.

Hi Kev!

LOL R57

I'm College Son waking up to find Kevin's face passed out on his asscheeks

I am the porcelain swastika gravy boat Kevin brings as a gift for Aunt Ida, the old krautfrau. He stole me from the set of American Beauty.

Aren’t we do for another video about now by the fireplace with the ugly sweater?

r62, don't remind him!

r62 I hope so. Kevin Spacey's mildly threatening Christmas message has quickly become one of my favorite parts of the season.

It’s like that scary uncle that shows up that you only see once a year. It’s kind of cool but creepy at the same time.

Kevin Spacey by the fireplace in an ugly Christmas sweater is now part of the holiday tradition!

Why does he talk his character in House of Cards? Not understanding this. A part that he was fired from. Shouldn’t he be sitting at a cardboard standing of the White House? Instead of the fireplace.

I enjoyed Spacey serenading the Spanish twinks on the streets of Seville much more. Such a romantic!

Keyboard cat on Jimmy Fallon.

What is that, R69?

I'm the plaintive needy text from Ghislaine Maxwell in prison Kevin ignores, because now around Real People, in a festive sweater, he feels he can move on from all that.