What Would You Want Us to Know About You Before You Died?

That I tried my best to be kind and to help others.

I hated it every one of your rancid cunts.

That I had a wretched childhood, worse than most can imagine, but still tried to not let that impact the rest of my life. I remained kind, helpful, and forward looking.

That I loved and cared for my parents, my pets and my husband.

That I’m not really anonymous.

I can suck the paint off a Chevy.

That I liked all three seasons of The Leftovers.

That I generate a full 20% of DataLounge traffic. You’ll miss me when I’m gone.

I felt special.

I have had sugar daddies all my life.

That I gave legendary Christmas parties and painted.

I fought for gay rights for 20 years and was part of a generation that achieved a treatment for AIDS, gay acceptance and ultimately gay marriage by living out and proud - and angry - when we were treated like criminals and expected to die as if we deserved it,

Fuck it. I loved her. I really did.

As much as I detest Gloria Estefan's music, the rhythm got me again and again and again.

Always.

I'm a good tipper!

That Luis Miguel is my soulmate.

I started 48 threads and received 2148 replies. I've received 8104 WWs and have posted 4148 replies.

Nothing, that is why I am Anonymous. Honestly I don't even want an obituary and no funeral I just want to disappear no one miss me and no one notice I am gone.

That’s sad, R18. : (

I'm a small town farm boy who moved to the big city after high school. Worked my way through college while eliminating my country twang along the way. I've been told I now sound like a gay Canadian and I'm okay with that. I've had one fairly long-term relationship of 11 years, a couple of shorter ones and many one-night stands. And now DL knows I'm probably a bit of a chatterbox. Isn't it obvious?

I lived too long with a sense of entitlement, that the world was going to provide it all to me and I didn't really need to work very hard. This attitude has not worked out for me.

[QUOTE] Nothing, that is why I am Anonymous. Honestly I don't even want an obituary and no funeral I just want to disappear no one miss me and no one notice I am gone.

Well R18 you have made the unfortunate mistake of joining the Datalounge brotherhood for now when you pass you will certainly be missed by us here. You are Anonymous in name only. You are a human being, you are valuable and you are loved.

R22 Aww I love the small bits of humanity we see in DL once in a while!

R3, you got a book deal and a movie that is revered here on DL. So you had to Ajax the bathroom once in the middle of the night.

that i never did anything out of nastiness, but i am one of the world's most socially inept people.

Yes, you can have my stuff.

I thought the world owed me something for suffering a traumatic and confusing childhood. But it doesn’t.

I now take gratitude in the small things and revel in the beauty of nature and miracle of living .

The fact that I can’t really come up with a definitive answer is rather sad (!)

My two favorite albums remain the first two albums I ever owned (age twelve and thirteen):

Judy at Carnegie Hall

and

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John

I still enjoy them both forty+ years later!

My students loved me and were grateful that I knocked myself out giving them needed skills. I loved them too and learned practically everything I know from them. Spending your life with young people (shut up!) is a real privilege. No money, but I made the right choice.

That I spent my career during work to improve the lives of others. And it was a joy.

My ipod broke years ago and I never replaced it.

That I was once a great beauty.

I tried.

If a hot guy is with a woman I will not check him out or pay any attention to him. This can sometimes be a monumental sacrifice.

I fought the mob, and the mob won.

Part of my life is full of amazing and interesting things that I need a Boswell for. But part of my life is sleazy and slutty and dubious that is so DL.

How do I build a legacy without people snooping into my dark scandalous side?

[quote] That I gave legendary Christmas parties and painted.

R11, what's so good about your Christmas parties? (What makes it so good?)

Also, what kinds of things do you paint? Oil paintings?

I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I seduce both men and women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I can cook Thirty-Minute Rice in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets. I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my backyard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge. I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My floral arrangements have earned me fame in international circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day, and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room set that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week. When I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends to let off steam I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four-course meals using only a Mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prize-winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet. I have performed open-heart surgery.

When I first came out, I never thought I would find my soulmate or live past my 30s, but I did and it was wonderful.

I was 64, but I could have passed AT 41.

I can keep a secret if you ask me to.

Bourbon...cocaine...

[quote]I spent my career during work

Seems like the right place for it.

Usually, if you smelt it, I dealt it

Absolutely nothing. Happy to be entirely forgotten. In the grand scheme of things I'm irrelevant and I've never understood that level of ego that suggests that any one person really matters. Maybe a touch nihilistic or something but honestly, when I'm dust I'm dust.

I don't understand anything about this life. How we got here. Where we're going. None of it. The only things that I am confident about is that we are all here on the same plan, that we are all powerless to change it, and that we make this life way too complicated.

How it happened for one of us is how it happened for all of us. Preachers and their exhortations are irrelevant. If you're enjoying anything about your life, then it has not all been for nothing that you're here. I just try to trust that it will sort itself out. Nothing means much of anything, kids. It's all much, much, bigger than we can control or even influence.

That I use a whole stick of butter when I make Marcella's Tomato Sauce III.

Don't you DLers know enough about me already???

You marketing folks never give up, do you?

The best sex I ever had was with a black bodybuilder in 2002.

That I was betrayed and treated badly by the person I thought was my life and shield partner but that I rose from the ashes to become a strong person who created a wonderful new life for themselves.

r34-

We all try. You succeed.

This is my post secret: I believe I have Antisocial Personality Disorder. I hope not at a Chris Watts level (since Iam able to see it within me) Some of my behaviors in previous relationships were admittedly scary and rage builds up. Its a shock to a partner when it happens because I am usuall6 go with the flow type. Not outgoing (socially awkward) , tend to be attracted to ambitious types that can be bossy and judgmental. Like Watts, I have a cold distant judgmental mother. Although she wouldnt applaud me if I ever killed my partner, nwvermind children. For all of myself I see in Watts, I don't think I could kill kids. Even though I do not like children in general.

R51 Did we date?

I regret marrying. Stuck in a lifeless and exitless existence. Now I'm a dependent due to illnesses. Resentment now where there was happiness. When it will become too helpless I will seek some rope I suppose.

That Erna was a good lady!

I've never been happy. I don't even understand what it's like to be happy. I thought success would make me happy, and now I think people and relationships should have been a priority as I don't feel a connection to anyone in this world. I feel like I'm waiting to die, instead of living life.

R57, maybe the problem isn't that you were too ambitious. Instead, it sounds to me as if you could have social anxiety. Talk to a therapist. It's never too late to connect to other people.

That I had many chances to make a great deal of money but turned them all down because taking them would have compromised my ethics. I don't have much money but I still have my integrity.

At 3 in the morning, I often regret doing the right thing.

Oh, r39, just this morning I was complaining that none of you bitches were around during ye olde Usenet days. I was wrong.

That even though I'm pretty, yet I am no slut like most people would like to assume.

[quote]Instead, it sounds to me as if you could have social anxiety.

Okay, R58. So the guy got that wrong, too?

You're not very helpful.

R62, I'm not helpful. But a therapist could be helpful if R57 does indeed have social anxiety.

I was pretty much honest without being hurtful.

R57, someone said animals are either bored or scared most of the time. I guess that is true for humans, too. All my life I was too afraid of failure to be bored. Lately, I can live without either. Be good to yourself.

Only dumb people are happy on a regular basis.

Actually, I have a cousin who is not dumb, he's pretty smart, and is happy most of the time. The downside to this cousin is that he's kind of ruthless when he wants something. He's also shallow.

That I tried to be kind to people and animals as it was important to be in my life’s work. That I am happy to be on the other side and hope my remaining family and friends think good thoughts when I cross their mind.

I put my job and career on the line when I refused my bosses’ order to fire the only Black woman, Rose, in the workplace. This was after she had already fired the only Black man in the workplace.

I wish I was more forceful, but I did tell her boss, HR, and Rose. My boss made my life miserable for quite a while before I transferred to another department, where I thrived.

I am no social justice warrior, but this order seemed completely unfair. My boss left the company after about a month after I transferred.

Small acts of courage are never small.

Great comments here. So many different ways to view life. Interesting that NO ONE mentioned “I had a lot of money” - even though that is what most of us Americans are taught to believe is the ultimate goal of life. Good to see.

I too had the childhood from hell. As much as I fuck up, I have a ton of compassion. I'm probably considered overly sensitive.

The game of love I played with arrogance and pride And every flame I lit too quickly, quickly died The friends I made all seemed somehow to drift away And only I am left on stage to end the play

I got too DARPA projects approved. That means some ideas I had were approved for funding by the Navy. DARPA was previously called the ARPANET, which is what funded the initial internet development. I didn’t work on my projects, because I gave notice earlier that very same day that I was informed that the projects were approved. I did get two other projects approved that netted me $11,000 each, and I used them to pay for grad school.

You know how.the British pound is a little slippery? Some other countries, too. That was my idea. I spoke with DuPont about it as a college project, and voila. .

I miss being ambitious, a little.

[quote] R10: have had sugar daddies all my life.

I knew a guy in West Hollywood with a flawless body and he was a nice person. He was promised the house in West Hollywood in which he lived, IIRC, His patron never changed his will accordingly, so after the geezer died, my acquaintance got the boot. Poor guy.

I had a lot of love to share but the world didn't see fit to give me a chance at happiness. My pending suicide should not be a shock.

I would like to talk about... Madeline... Ashton...

I know who R11 is -And I attended some of his parties. Why were they so special? Because they were full of people who liked and respected each other -a self-created family. 11 always went out of his way to make everyone feel welcome.

Oh, and I have one of 11's (oil) paintings on the wall in my home. :)

I've only ever loved one person in my life, and he betrayed me horribly. That was over thirty years ago, and I've never been able to love anyone else since. I've been very lonely, but my feelings just didn't survive the trauma. It seems now that I will die alone, as I have lived most of my life. I wish it could be different, but I don't feel as sorry for myself as all this might sound. I truly loved someone, and for a time I was truly loved back. However brief the experience, at least I had it. Some people never do.

^^^ Miss Havisham

I wish I was born a woman. I reject the idea of going Trans and all that, but girls have more fun. I don't say this out loud as a masculine gay man but shopping, hair, shoes, dresses, breasts, straight men all sound more or equally as fun. I'd certainly be married living my best life.

Lol r80, it’s never too late!

I was part of a large team that created a financial company’s initial website.

We had a major upgrade of it over a three day holiday. On the next Tuesday, we got slammed with excess web usage because the market crashed that day. We had a large meeting of the 200 or so people who upgraded the site. In that meeting, the big boss decided to “back out” the upgrade, to revert to the old site, before the change. To revert to the old design.

I raised my hand from the back of the room, and said “we’ve been working on this upgrade for months. If we work a few hours to back out the change, what happens if we need to back out, the back out? The big boss shook his head like a cartoon character. Then said we’ll leave it be. It turns out, all our competitor’s websites also crashed that day, because the problem was excess user volume, not because of the upgrade. I deserve a medal for that.

I had another computer upgrade over Washington’s birthday weekend. I The developer used the “bar” symbol (“|”) to separate data fields. I warned against it, but they were determined. It looked like this:

John|Smith|33 Main St|Boston|MA|...and so forth.

The developers ran all the data through the change on Friday on a test computer, and there was no problem. On Saturday, the upgrade failed rather quickly. I told the team to hold on, I might know what happened. I recall saying I had to take my headset off so I could concentrate. It happens that, within the immediate 24 hours, a customer entered their first name as “John|Mary”. This made the computer think that “Mary” belonged in the next field, because of the | symbol. That pushed all the data into the following, incorrect data field, and screwed everything up.

I changed the field to “John/Mary”and we restarted the upgrade, which then went flawlessly. It was a one in a million possibility, but I’m really proud that I was skilled enough to anticipate the possibility and fix it within 20 minutes or so.

I was good at my job.

No thanks r81. I don't believe in destroying a perfectly healthy male body to pretend to be a woman. It would never work and aging female beauties are few and far between. I accept my biological fate but feel that the grass is greener on the female side. No amount of surgeries or accessories will make me anymore of a woman than it would a dog if I had a tail attached to my body.