Tasteful Friends, what do we think of Taylor Lautner's new home?

suicidally depressing landscape

How does she have any money?

If you’re going to do the LA thing, then do it.

Don’t half-ass it out in some bleak, hillbilly exurb.

I think it's on a weird plot of land and that the dirt perimeter isn't doing it any favors. Not sure why it's "weird" - plenty of people want a big lot with no close neighbors. But, the complete absence of trees and professional landscaping is maybe what's off about it. We're used to seeing that.

[quote] maybe what's off about it. We're used to seeing that.

If we're used to seeing that, why do you find it "off"?

A guest or pet is gonna get killed by a mountain lion

[quote] A guest or pet is gonna get killed by a mountain lion

Or an alpaca.

It looks like Caitlyn's Malibu joint married with Kathy G's Life on the D-list pad. Private, but really ugly.

He had $3.8 million to work with and that's what he chose? I know LA's pricey and maybe he'd have to go smaller, but couldn't he do better?

Yeah, Caitlyn lives like this.

Hideous desert.

Will he be godfather to Billie Lourd's new baby?

Ohhh, I'll have to go stalk him. My aunt/uncle live in Thousand Oaks. I'll have to make a trip soon.

When did he last work?

"If we're used to seeing that, why do you find it "off"? "

I meant we're used to seeing landscaping and trees, so the absence of both is "off."

I would feel absolutely terrified of staying there. Like living in the bleakest terrarium ever seen.

Never mind the mountain lion, Miss Lautner better watch out for crazies running around stabbing people. I would hate for all that white around the house to stain. Is she that desperate to stay near Los Angeles that he settled for Agoura Hills? He has neighbors living above him so his plot really isn’t that prime of a location. I wonder if he’ll be helping Rob with his Batman lines while secretly hating him for still being more popular. I wonder how many boxes of white Zinfandel he went through for his housewarming party.

She does try so very hard, you have to give her that.

"Bleak" is a good word.

On a positive note, it looks like a classy, glam meth lab.

It's fagulous! He'll flip it in 4 years for twice what he paid.

Is this area in the fire zone? Maybe that's why there's not a lot of vegetation around it.

It looks like a place Ellen would quarantine her maids when they sneezed.

It looks like it's in the middle of nowhere. And I'd be really scared to stay there at night. Someone could easily come out of the hills and murder you, and you wouldn't be found for weeks.

It's probably where he is going to stash the parents.

Miss Lindsay at R12.

The modern design is nice, but Agoura Hills is 25 miles from LA and it does seem like it is the arse end of nowhere.

Pet peeve of mine, shit celebrity-worshipping media calling every house owned by someone with a SAG/AFTRA card a fucking 'mansion'.

What’s that green stuff?

A landing strip?

Seems like a lot of money for Agoura Hills

and it'll probably take another $1 million for window treatments alone

I don't know anything about him, but I like this house. It would be a challenge to keep it that minimal on a day-to-day basis, but still.

I hate it

It has absolutely no personality.

Like Tay Tay ^

Haven't seen him in anything for years. Is he fat and ugly by now?

Taylor Laurier should answer the door naked.

Taylor Laurier should answer the door naked.

My room.

This gay boy has big house. How many penes doo he lick to get such big house? I ask the Question for friend.

The bleak exterior surroundings simply don't matter to some people.

As awful of an actor as he is, he does have quite a bit of money from Twilight, no?

Yes. R37. If anyone in life hit the jackpot - it's hot ass giggles jiggling Taylor. Talentless and unable to do anything but squint. Otherwise he'd be a gogo boy. Have you seen his face - It's like they put a good looking guy put through a trash compactor. Lautner made over a hundred million dollars for the Twilight films. Not from his ASS. Tho his ASS is his best feature. He's smart enough to lay low. Or lie low? Lay, lie. I still confuse the two. I would fuck him. But he'd probably sue me.

Isn’t he a big star in England?

I think his girlfriend lives there.

An overseas girlfriend? Who'd have thunk it!

He thought he was buying in Fagoura Hills.

Isn’t Agoura Hills in Ventu- tucky county?

Nothing but white trash.

I always confuse him with Jesse Metcalfe.

I'm hotter

LOVE IT! Love the house and especially love he seclusion of the property. I could be quite happy out there.

It's not that secluded. There's another house 150 yards away.

Don't be ridiculous R47. In Toronto, Paris, New York or San Francisco you will pay 3 million dollars for a narrow house with neighbors 6 feet away from your window. 150 yards is very F A R and comfortable. You sound silly. A football field is 100 yards long.

I imagine if the exterior photos were taken from farther away we'd see that there are plenty of other houses nearby in the direction the camera is not picking up. I see some tall buildings off in the distance behind the hills.

5 years from now the area will be a clusterfuck of McMansions.

You idiots. This is what LA looked like before all of the development and landscape work (you think all the palm trees are indigenous? No) I say he’ll make a great roi when the neighborhood gets all the trees and walls etc. that are coming.

Meh, if you like ultra modern I guess you’d like it.

Like r1 said, the landscape around it is bleak.

He’s gonna have a few boys at that pool 🍆 💦 🍑

[quote]How many penes doo he lick to get such big house?

I can assure you, he lick many, many penises...

Agoura Hills is in the Calabasas/Malibu/Woodland Hills neighborhood. I live in this area and there are a LOT of rich people around. Lautner chose this because it's probably in a gated community and he'll have tons of privacy. Hopefully he'll do some landscaping...it looks unfinished.

If he can spend $3 Mil. on that place, why can't he pay to get that big toe removed from between his eyes?

The outside of the house was so hideous I couldn't bring myself to look at any interior photos. I am sure it too is hideous.

The other people of notoriety living in that town are all trump supporters.

Did Patrick Schwarzenegger cosign the mortgage?

I like the pool. Is he still fat?

Was Brian Singer his realtor? It looks like some next-level Sean Cody bullshit.

Both the house and the garden look parched and malnourished. Kinda like a house from a Brett Easton Ellis book where C list kids would party on quaaludes.

Poor thing probably watches press of himself back when they were trying to make him happen and just cries and fumbles for the big jar of M&Ms.

Sterile and instantly dated interior (like the waterfall countertop). Is that a tan/brown caftan in his closet?

AGOURA HILLS??? Lol. His career is really in the toilet, isn’t it?

I like it... these are the showing photos... he hasn't moved in yet. He can warm it up/landscape. I like the infinity edge pool. It's not in Ventura... it's LA County, up in the far Valley, past Calabassas.

I did not know who he was, so I googled him. He looks like a goat.

Yeah Agoura Hills is Khardashian territory. A lot of celebs have moved out to those areas - I think you get more house for your money.

For all those harping on Lautner being gay, I follow him on IG and--though he claims to have a GF who he takes some pics with--there's also tons of pics with him and his sister, whom he calls his BFF (code for gay). There's also a definite weird connection between him, Patrick Schwarzenegger, Rob Lowe's (ugly) sons, Chris Pratt, and Nick Swardson (Terry from 'Reno 911'). Dissecting that whole gay who's who is exhausting, especially considering Swardson could be all those boys' daddy.

[quote]Taylor Laurier should answer the door naked.

Isn't the exhibitionist bathroom enough?

R68, Taylor comforted Billie Lourd after Debbie and Carrie died.

[quote]Sterile and instantly dated interior (like the waterfall countertop).

What's wrong with waterfall countertops?

OMG, no landscaping! it's so bleak... where's my fainting couch?!?!

For a group so elderly we are pretty dumb. There's little to no landscaping because it's a new build The compacted dirt surrounding the house is because of access for work people and construction vehicles. All that bleak area is planted with new foliage, perhaps of the new owners choosing. So get your smelling salts, it'll be okay.

Here's a picture of a similar house in the area with some landscaping growth starting.

So ugly.

r68 Lautner is fucking Patrick S - They have been on and off for a while.

R72, bad landscape design is bad landscape design grown in or not.

The landscape design is horrific.

The house itself is a Sketchup design by a sophomore in Architecture at ASU. Hideous.

Did "Cuckoo" really pay him that much money?

[quote] There's little to no landscaping because it's a new build

I suppose Taylor can afford to truck in a truckload of water a day and improve his own lot but the surrounding countryside is still a soul-breaking hot beige landscape.

It's the kind of lanscape that makes it easy to hate southern California and I'd imagine that the dust is a problem---getting into everything.

LA is so overpriced. 20+ miles out - and $3.8MM for a nice but not stunning house. Crazy.

It’s an Everybottom Home.

Not exactly the kind of down-sizing I would expect after not working for 4 years. But apparently he cashed in pretty well on the Twilight series with a % of sales. I wouldn't expect they would give him that type of contract, but the internet says it is true. :)

[quote] I'd imagine that the dust is a problem---getting into everything.

I don't like sand. It's coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.

1.5 mill in Pittsburgh. 8 acres with 2 acre lake included. Charters creek just found back.

Other than that Adam Sandler Western-Comedy, I don't think Lautner has ever been fat. Even when people made fun of him around the time he "dated" Billie Lourde, you could still see his abs, they just weren't as prominent.