My cat's Bar Mitzvah

He sounds delicious!

I know Meow Mix does halal, but I’m not sure about Kosher.

p.s. wear the green Naugahyde caftan.

[quote]He sounds delicious!

And Kosher too. Enjoy.

Flapjack the Hug.

[quote] Hi I’m Flapjack! I’m a hug (half mini husky, half pug) and I love to lick peoples’ noses!

My cat wouldn't go on Instagram for 300 followers. Are you kidding me?

Meowzal tav!

Hahaha - Op, your photo is amazing. It's totally the laugh I needed.

Veto on the Hug. Huskies should never be bred with inferior breeds.

Oh! My bubula, Mr. Flapjacks, is growing up so fast! Come let me squish your face and whiskers!!

Flapjack the pug/husky mix is GORGEOUS. What a cool dog.

OP, the answer is Matzoh with chopped liver.

[quote] Huskies should never be bred with inferior breeds.

It's the canine equivalent of breeding Ian Somerhalder with Jeremy Renner.

Ok, now I am thinking a simple spread of chicken pate, lox, a variety of cream cheeses (no olive!), and bagels and matzoh.

The problem is that Mr Flapjacks prefers the pic at Russ & Daughters but there's a Dagostinos two blocks away. It's not like I'm going to Key Food.

Can I be the meowhel?

OP, Flappy shouldn't be forced to fast on Yom Kippur as he cannot understand the meaning of the holiday. Therefore he doesn't have the mental capacity to go through the process of a Bar Mitzvah either.

However I am sure he is very smart for a feline.

You should serve some lox, some gefilte fish, pickled herring, smoked white fish, and of course smoked sturgeon.

Attention hog

Omg!! 😻 I am plotzing with these kippa kitty pics!!

R14 believe me, he's got sins to atone for! He can handle a measly 25 hours.

This is his best friend from Hebrew school Jeffrey Catsenberg, at his Bar Mitzvah last month. His father's an entertainment lawyer, they do very well.

Did you have a Muslim circumcision ceremony for your cat when he turned 8? Will you have a Going Home ceremony as celebrated in the Black community for him when he dies?

Or are you offensive, bigoted trash only when it comes to Jews?

Is he practicing the candle lighting? Careful, don’t want singed whiskers.

For food, definitely go for assorted fish plate, like smoked trout, salmon loaf, teriyaki cod on skewers.

Is he a fat?

R20 I do have a Highland Terrier named Marshmallow that was baptized when he was a puppy but now considers himself a lapsed Catholic.

My Rabbi told me that since cats don’t age in human terms, it is wrong to make them wait until they are 13-years old. More like 18 months. Sorry to be Debbie Downer.

Word to the wise: No chocolate fountain at a feline bar mitzvah party.

Also, skip the magician. It freaks out the little buggers.

Is it a rescue cat?

R20, it's a JOKE and it's not a slur on Jewish people in any way. Stop it.

My God, how do you even get through the day without a sense of humor, especially these days?

Now piss off, before I break out my light saber.

OP just ignore or FF those humorless twats. This thread is adorable and so fun!

Meanwhile on the eastside...

I'm here! Where's the rest of the band?

What? You want I should make some knish?

Every bar mitzvah needs a good DJ - what's on the playlist?

Don't you mean Cat Mitzvah?

King of the Dogs by Iggy Pop

OP, DON'T DO IT!!! CANCEL YOU PLANS!!! Mr. Flapjacks will turn into a nerdy teenager with pimples who jacks off constantly! NOOOOOO..........

Love Cats!!

What else can we play? Atomic Kitten!

Stray Cat Strut

What's New Pussycat?

Call Omar the Tentmaker. Tell him to him to make you an extra special caftan.

Cats in the Cradle

I may look fey, but I've got chutzpaw!

^^^ Shih Jew

>>CANCEL YOU PLANS!!!

Oh, deer!

Who performed your cat's bris?

[quote]Cats in the Cradle

Cat with a Dreidel.

My cat, whose middle name was Meowstein, asked for an omelette chef at her Cat Mitzvah, with Salmon or Chicken 9-Lives for the filling.

Bar mitzvah boys are too young for bifocals, OP

A 13-year-old cat is like a 68-year-old human.

Silly OP. Cats care even less about religion than us humans. All they care for are the presents ... oh, wait.

My cat wanted 9 bar mitzvahs. Fuck that.

OP here - I forgot to mention that one of the biggest fights Flappers and I have had was agreeing on a theme! I want to go with Hooray for Old Hollywood with everyone in tuxedos and glamorous gowns drinking champagne but he wants a South Beach club theme, like he's ever been to a nightclub in Miami!! Anyway, since I just found out that Russ & Daughters delivers so I CAN get the good lox and I'm paying for everything so we should do my idea. But when I say that he pouts. You can't win, even when you're trying to do something nice.

This thread reminded me it's my cats' designated birthday today. They turn 12, proper senior cats. They a little slower nowadays but otherwise, same as they ever were.

Is Fancy Feast kosher?

I'm assuming Katz's Delicatessen will be doing the catering?

OP I love this thread! And the pictures are great!

Hooray for Old Hollywood?

Thanks OP you’re giving me ideas for Mishka.

It probably goes without saying, but DO NOT try to save money by combining your cat’s bar mitzvah with your dog’s bar mitzvah. Oy.

Where is The Fabulous Miss Lucy? She must have some experience in coordinating parties for her kitties.

OP that cat looks meshuggeneh. Give it a bris instead.

Don't let Aunt Fluffy bring any of her fakakta friends!

I want an invite.

Please please post video of your cat and his cat friends doing the hora, preferably when they’re hopped up on catnip sprinkled on fish hors d'oeuvres.

Too bad you can't invite Lauren Bacall. She probably could have gotten the Fancy Feast at wholesale.

I would never serve supermarket cat food at a fete. Feh!

Would kitty prefer a donation be made to a local cat rescue organization or would he prefer actual presents? If the latter then where is he registered?

Registered? Have you ever been to a Bar Mitzvah? Cash baby, cash.

Or catnip. Catnip always welcome.

R67 How could you! That's a gateway drug

I was thinking about giving him a savings bond...but then..you know...he's probably not going to be around long enough to cash it. Ucch

Like caffeine is a gateway drug for humans. I can live with myself.

Flap needs his own credit card for airline travel to make getting insurance easier. I dated a man whose dog had a credit card so it is possible for your feline as well.

Remember there was a cat who got absentee voter ballots long after he was deceased.

WHERE IS THE VIDEO, OP??!!!

Will it be held at a resort in the Catskills?

We had the Catholic ceremony for my cat when he was six months old.

It's popularly referred to as a "Neutering." There was no party afterwards, but the vet sent him home with a three day supply of pain meds.

I spent two years holed up in an attic for this?

Here is a very low-key (and low lit) celebration for a cat named Waffles. Dr. Flapperstein and I will have a much better cinematographer.

What do you mean I’m not invited?

Sorry R77 my brother in law is Orthodox and if he knew you'd be there he wouldn't come.

For starters, I’m absolutely in love with OP.

Secondly, OP, you can’t go wrong serving pastrami. Always a crowd pleaser.