WTF were Sea Monkeys?

Weren't they just baby shrimp?

They were delicious.

They were/are brine shrimp from the Great Salt Lake. Nothing at all as advertised.

There was a whole TV series about them. Like, live action, if I remember correctly.

Stupid little microscopic shrimp. I was so disappointed when I ordered my sea monkeys as a kid and they didn't have little crowns and scepters.

People who fell for this shit grew up to be Trump voters.

R3, were they edible? Did they scream during the de-veining?

[quote] Nothing at all as advertised.

You need to alert your state's A-G, R3.

I'm surprised at how far afoul of the truth-in-advertising this ad was. There's "puffing" and then there are "sea monkeys" (brine shrimp) that can be trained. IIRC, there were also ads in the comics for X-ray glasses.

Were they shipped in a state of suspended animation? Did they swim around when you put them in water or just sink to the bottom of the tank?

R9 This was back in the days before there was such a thing as "Truth in Advertising."

I learned my lesson with the X-ray glasses. They were advertised as enabling you to see through peoples' clothes. When I got mine, there will little bones painted on the inside lenses.

R10 As I recall, you mixed some kind of powder in water to "bring them to life." Yes, they swam around. They looked like really tiny tadpoles.

It sounds cruel.

I love the Fifth Ave address! Was this part of Saks?

[quote] I love the Fifth Ave address! Was this part of Saks?

Yes. Just past the Housewares department on the left.

That's right, I remember now R15!

I used to see these advertisements in American comics which were sold here in Ireland when I was a kid. You could get anything in America it seemed. I wanted them so badly but I couldn’t figure out how how I was going to get the dollars and cents.

You had a lucky escape R17.

"No C.O.D.'s Please"

Oh dear

How did COD work? I always imagined you’d give the postman cash when he brought your item and somehow the money would get sent to the vendor.

R20 Yes, that's how it worked.

[quote] How did COD work?

It is all explained in the Macy's scene in Auntie Mame with the skates and Beauregard Pickett Burnside III.

I tried them twice as a kid in the early 80s. I think we bought them at a department store (such as Kmart). It was a complete rip off. You poured the eggs into the water, and the resulting creatures were tiny specks that moved in the water. They were so tiny you couldn't see any features. I didn't expect crowns and scepters, but I thought they might at least have arms and legs because of the picture on the package.

This is the kind of country Trump wants to return us to.

Trump loves NO "Truth in Advertising."

Here's a fun practical joke to play on gentleman callers of the Datalounge persuasion who end up in your boudoir:

Glue a bunch of dead brine shrimp to a pieces of white paper and fabric beforehand and use them to wallpaper and decorate Blanche's bedroom in your Golden Girls replica dollhouse.

When the Datalounger notices and flies into a shrieking rage, act confused and insist that Blanche's bedroom was never green; it's always been done in shrimp tones. Always. Don't back down.

Semen + Sea People = Seaciety.

Magic tricks and whoopie cushions from Johnson's(?).

^^GentlemEn callers

We all know that those of you who are #blessed with Golden Girls dollhouses are scraping up dozens of DLers in the cereal aisle at Aldi.

For God's sake, not every fucking thing in the world has to be linked to Trump. Thanks for shitting on another otherwise interesting thread. Children fell for the ad because they were CHILDREN. It was a rite of passage. Just like Beaver Cleaver sending away for an alligator or Ralphie sending away for the decoder ring in A Christmas Story.

It was cruel to the shrimps.

[quote]I didn't expect crowns and scepters, but I thought they might at least have arms and legs because of the picture on the package.

Well, weren't you a stupid, little child.

I was fascinated by them. My father used to bring them home on the train sometimes from NYC. We got the race tracks, mating powder to make them mate and more. They did live for a bit and breed and I always fed them properly but eventually the poor little things ended up dying and it broke my heart. The 80’s.

Them's pretty pink "monkeys"....if you catch my drift.

[quote]My father used to bring them home on the train sometimes from NYC.

Did he call your mother beforehand and tell her to set another two plates at the dinner table just to freak her out?

I loved my Sea Monkeys, they didn't smile & wave, though. My Sea Monkeys lived for a couple of months, we didn't have central heating, the cold weather may have gotten them. I still have the little blue feeding spoon included with them (big end for the adults, little end for the infants).

Yes, I am insane.

[quote] Just like Beaver Cleaver sending away for an alligator

That was a historic episode! Beaver had been told he couldn't buy the baby alligator but he did anyway. So when it arrived, he had to hide it. He hid it in the commode tank. It was the first time in the history of network television that a commode was seen onscreen and there was a lot of controversy about it.

Brine shrimp are Artemia, fascinating very primitive crustaceans. They’re very easily to colonize in a home which is why they were sold in comic books to kids in the 60s and 70s.

They live in extreme environments — in inland seas and lakes with extremely high salinity. They developed this in order to avoid predators, most of which can’t survive that level of salinity. They don’t live in oceans because the salinity level is too low.

Like many creatures that live in lakes, they lay eggs that can survive the drying up of the lake, often for years, until they are flooded with salty water. Then they hatch.

Brine shrimp are popular food for freshwater fish but they soon die in the tank if not eaten quickly because they need lots of salt in their water.

These little guys are survivors, sort of extremophiles. They’ve been around since the dawn of the age of dinosaurs, minding their own business, so don’t blame them if they’ve been misrepresented in ad copy.

Sad they had to suffer.

Are they related to Crab People ?

They're NAKED ! ! !

I got sea monkeys and I don’t know what you bitches are talking about because they were literally exactly like the ad. I got mine from the back of a boys poetry magazine though so they were homosexual sea monkeys, extremely sensitive but could be extremely bitchy when they drank. They kept an ultra neat and exquisitely tasteful bowl, but quarreled incessantly. Some were extremely well hung and all the other sea monkeys were always hanging around them.

I got a lot of sea-monkeys swimming down my throat when I sucked my friend when I was a kid. He said they were sea-monkeys and I thought that was cute; I am so happy.

I would like to see PETA take them on and shut them down!

Agreed R46. But I like them on pita bread, if that's still ok.

Seeing R40's actual pic, the ads weren't as far off as I thought. The face is similar and their antenna almost looks like a crown.

Did you eat them in the end R48?

Triops are cooler.

If I send $1.30 to Fifth Ave, will they send me some food?

The whole thing was such a sham, just like the little green soldiers you could also order from the back of comic book covers. Those soldiers were so thin and cheap

At r26, the dark-and-slimy blobs the females have near their tails are brood sacs. It’s one of many things I have in common with them.

Why were grits advertised in those comics?

Did you hear about the kid who drank Coke and ate some Pop Rocks? His head exploded, and then he died.

That was you then R55. Welcome back.

No, it was that Mikey kid from the commercial, R56.

Anyone who owns a Golden Girls dollhouse would end up ripping a hole in time and space!

That house was a physical impossibility.

r54 Grit was some sort of magazine/newspaper type thing. I grew up in that era but never actually saw one or knew anyone who read it.

[quote]If I send $1.30 to Fifth Ave, will they send me some food?

Oh, Darfur Orphan -- like you'd ever have $1.30.

R50 Triops are cooler.

Here are some set to the late Ennio Morricone

It was easier to scam kids before the Interweb.

And now it's easier to scam voters.

the how of it all

Triops are really only cooler because they’re bigger and more complex. That said, I do love animals of vernal pools.

These pools only exist from spring until summer or maybe into fall. There are animals that live out their whole lives in that short burst of water. Triops only live about 40 days. They breed and lay eggs, then the pool dries and the eggs survive in the dirt until the next spring, when they repeat the process. Fascinating.

I had a friend who would raise them in a ten gallon tank and feed them bologna and carrots. They ate basically anything. They were not picky.

But r64, sea monkeys were not shipped dessicated. Their eggs were shipped.

You can buy them for your tropical fish. It’s super easy to raise the brine shrimp them you just drop them in the tank (after rinding the salt water off them). Fish love them. It’s like salted popcorn.

We've mentioned that tropical fish enthusiasts often raise brine shrimp, mainly to feed newly hatched/born fish. But there are actually tropical fish that themselves have a life cycle which involves reproducing from eggs which become dormant when their water source dries up. They require very knowledgeable aquarists to maintain a colony over several years: I've never had the balls to attempt raising them.

[quote]. It was the first time in the history of network television that a commode was seen onscreen

That Leave It to Beaver episode was not only the first time a commode was seen (even if only the top of the tank), it was the first time the inside of a bathroom was seen on network TV. It was considered so outrageous that although it was the first episode shot, it was the fourth episode broadcast while the producers and the CBS censors argued whether it was too vulgar to be shown.

[quote]No C.O.D.'s Please

Also, no stamps! Postage stamps were legal tender until vendors stopped accepting them in the late 1950s, early 60s. You could use stamps like cash...

I always thought the ads made them out to be some kind of nudist family cult. Their smiles are creepy and disturbing.

...the parents are also apparently swingers.

Six tiny titties. What the Hell?

If I remember correctly, it was Beaver and Wally who bought the baby alligator together and it was Wally who removed the top of the commode tank. Open to correction. Anyway, remember that at the time Ricky and Lucy were still sleeping in separate twin beds. The 1950s were "innocent" to the point of ridiculous. Leave It to Beaver was low key but honest and a breath of fresh air at the time.

A breath of fresh air from the top of an open commode tank.

Wasn't there a brief scene of Ricky brushing his teeth with the tub and shower curtain behind him in ILL?

They were magically delicious!

[quote]The whole thing was such a sham, just like the little green soldiers you could also order from the back of comic book covers. Those soldiers were so thin and cheap

OMG, I had forgotten them. Didn't they come filled with baking soda and if you added a drop or two of water or something they would start jerking around, ie, marching?

I got a microscope set with a bunch of slides in about 1980 or so, and they came with a small container of dried brine shrimp that you could reanimate by putting in water. I remember asking mom about the sea monkeys in some old comics we had and she told me I already had them, they were just brine shrimp. I was very disappointed. I didn't expect to see sceptres necessarily but at least thought they would have the arms to hold them with!

R77 I don't know about adding baking soda to the toy soldiers but there was a 'submarine' that they offered. You added baking soda then it surfaced in your sink or tub. Pretty much a one-shot deal.

[quote]Brine shrimp are popular food for freshwater fish but they soon die in the tank if not eaten quickly

In which case: Also dead.

This is the only thing I ever sent away for. It did work, and was pretty cool.

[quote] OMG, I had forgotten them. Didn't they come filled with baking soda and if you added a drop or two of water or something they would start jerking around,

Oooh tell me more!

[quote] That Leave It to Beaver episode was not only the first time a commode was seen (even if only the top of the tank), it was the first time the inside of a bathroom was seen on network TV.

Not even close to being true, R68.

I sent away for this battle set — it said the tanks would explode in a fiery ball when hit! Terrifically excited, I sent my money and waited ... MONTHS.

When it finally came, the tanks looked nothing like the ad. This taught me a lesson I’ve not unlearned.

[quote] I used to see these advertisements in American comics which were sold here in Ireland when I was a kid. You could get anything in America it seemed.

You seriously could! Not the sea variety but this was a real ad!

All the dolls and army men toys on the comic book ads were FLAT, barely 3d enough to stand on their own. Anyone remember the ad for the 7 foot long polaris nuclear submarine? Here is the actual:

From the Spencer’s Gift thread and this history of the store, I learned that they started out as mail order, but targeting adults instead of kids. One of their big hits were miniature Mexican burros.

The hovercraft.