Ocean Swimming is DANGEROUS!!

GOOD DAMN THAT CUNTS LAUGH IS ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!!

i cutta bitch

What is that R2?

A blue-ringed octopus, R3. They're venomous.

I will FUCK YOU UP, mate

Hammerhead sharks circling a kayak!! Make sure you read the comments to this video if you want to laugh your ass off!

Stonefish. They say if you step on one you might as well not swim back to the surface.

c'mon it, it's fine!

The blue-ringed octopus and the stonefish are both mostly in Australia. Australia also has a very deadly jellyfish which is very tiny and hard to see with the naked eye but can kill you. Japan has the blue-ringed octopus. Around the pacific coast you mostly only sometimes encounter sharks. Australia is home to several venomous animals and insects.

[quote]Australia also has a very deadly jellyfish which is very tiny and hard to see with the naked eye but can kill you.

Irukandji

Nature is not a safe space.

I'm triggered.

It’s amazing how something so deadly can be so beautiful. I’m glad this sea life you’re showing us are around Australia and Japan and not here off the Atlantic seaboard. Of course here we have sharks biting off peoples limbs.

Holy SH!T!!!

Just this is enough to keep me out of the ocean, thanks very much.

R15 what is that?

It’s seaweed, R16. It’s no more likely to attack you than is a bunch of spinach.

I’m an ocean swimmer and I live in Australia - I’m much more threatened by the American lady screeching “omigod” on repeat at the shock of finding a large fish in the ocean.

It’s their territory, now ours.

Meet the Blue Dragon, hermaphrodite cousin of DL's beloved Red Dragon.

They float on the surface blue side up, grey side down as a form of camouflage when seen from either above or below. They eat bluebottle and jellyfish tentacles and store the nematocysts in the ends of their cerata (the dark tips of their little jazz hands below). These stockpiles give them the ability to inflict almost as much pain as a bluebottle.

They occasionally wash up with whomever they've been eating and then unsuspecting people pick them up for Instagram likes. Then they scream.

Live beachside. Swim at sunrise and sunset. Rip currents and lumpen fraus are far more of a danger than aquatic life.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

The Shallows (2016)

I do not like swimming in the ocean because blobfish piss me off.

Stupid goddamn blobfish.

R17 Seaweed like that doesn't have to attack you. It's horrifying and looks like you could get tangled up in it and drown.

I was with my five-year-old nephew on the shore of Siesta Key. We were told the jellyfish were plentiful that time of year and their stings were painful. So, I was watching carefully. I saw a jellyfish in a wave near him. I swung him out of the water so fast I scared him. No long term effects, and now he's a doctor. He'd be looking out for me, now.

R23 I guess that I’ll have to defer to your greater experience with “horrifying” seaweed.

Best that you stay on dry land.

You won’t have to worry about it much longer, R23. As ocean temperatures keep increasing sea urchins will continue to flourish and, because their numbers are too great to subsist any longer on algae and the detritus that drops to the seabed around the kelp, they’ll eat through the kelp itself until it’s gone. Their natural predators are already overfished and while translocating large crayfish from elsewhere is a nice gesture, they can’t keep up with the reproduction rate of sea urchins.

Once the kelp is gone, stressed by starvation, the urchins’ jaw structure and teeth grow larger and harder, giving them them the ability to grind through anything in their path, even paua shells. And with that, the ecosystem of the kelp forest is completely destroyed. Tasmania's are 95% gone and conditions are similar in large swaths of California and the Aleutian Islands.

The resulting urchin barrens are virtual dead zones and are irreversible.

R14 well at least they're not stupid.

But I thought sharks love to have their head rubbed!

Fish fuck in it.

Precious (not so) little citizens at r28! Sending love.

Most venomous sea creature.

R28 that is amazing. I thought Tiger sharks were the most aggressive?? Or maybe I'm thinking of Bull sharks 🤔

r32 the Karen Shark is the most aggressive,