My foam mattress made me shit the bed

Amen

Is this another Erna thread?

Take responsibility for your weak gaping ass op.

My foam mattress made me drink too much and raid the refrigerator.

Fucking evil, those things, I tell you.

scat troll

I believe OP has stated her boundaries!

...and consistently so!

I hope you can make a shopping reservation at Mattress World soon enough, in these COVID times dear.

2/10

I thought I was the only one who had trouble turning over on a memory foam mattress. Sure, it's more comfortable to lay on, but it's absolute hell on my back when I turn over. I've learned just to do it very slowly so I won't pay for it later.

Maybe lay off the giant dildo for awhile until you tighten up.

OP, what other household items have you used as excuses for your little "lapses"?

I’m on a foam mattress right now and I have no trouble moving.

You chose . . . poorly.

My foam mattress compelled me to kill my last few tricks. It’s possessed.

hershey

squirts

I noticed this myself but thought I was just old and weak. Maybe the mattress is a factor.

Get away from the foam mattress!! Don’t sleep on it again!

And certainly don't shit on it again!

My foam mattress made me enforce my They/Them pronouns...and I am a CIS male!

10/10

I have the same kind of mattress and don't have this problem. Maybe it's time for some of these, OP.

Didn’t you try it out..mail it back if it’s try at home free offer

Was it a latex allergy cause I’m just not following?

R19 That guy is kind of hot in a husky kind of way........

It's Paul Sorvino in a diaper.

Get a SleepNumber. I did.

This thread is hilarious! But if it's any consolation, OP, I rejected memory foam last time I bought a mattress because I noticed at the store that the effort it took to turn over meant I would have to wake up every time I wanted to do so. I imagine you'd dream a lot about being in quicksand.

How do people have sex on those things?

[quote] Get a SleepNumber

He did, R24; it was a surprise number 2.

Does it sleep hot too?

I returned two mattresses before I bought one that works for me.

Stop making me laugh. I have to go to sleep.

Is it a tempurpedic?

When Muriel's away, the Scat Troll shall play!

[quote] I squirted in my underwear a little because I was stuck and needed to rock myself up into a sitting position.

You mean a Phipps mattress rocks you to sleep!

Good lord, I've had foam mattresses forever and never shit on any of them. Y'all gotcha a doo doo issue.

OP starred in her own episode of My 600 Pound Life.

You have to lose 50 pounds in 3 weeks, or NO SURGERY FOR YOU!

If I could draw, I'd sketch a little foam mattress holding a gun to OP's head and demanding -- demanding, I tell you! -- he shit the bed OR ELSE.

Cut to the chase, OP. We know what you’re trying to tell us:

You’re a FAT WHORE!!!

OP types FAT!

FOLLIES!

My foam mattress made me ... oh forget it ...

Lesson: Older out of shape types should not buy foam mattresses

I have a memory foam gel hybrid with a 4 inch memory foam pad on top of that. I am 56 I have absolutely no trouble turning over without waking up and I haven’t shit the bed in over 50 years.

It sounds like you need to cut out dairy or vodka or 50 load weekends.

Scat troll. I’m starting to recognize it.

You are too fat for your foam mattress OP.

Stop blaming it on the matress, Mr. Trump.

Maybe you should sleep naked in the bathtub.

Admit it, it wasn’t shit, but santorum after you got laid getting a new mattress.

I have a latex foam mattress and I love it. Absolutely NO back problems. They went away the first night the inner spring mattress was gone and the latex foam was in its place.

But they have a dead quality. And they are weird to fuck on. Not as weird as a water bed, though.

And they have NO shit-making characteristics whatsoever.

Hahahahaha

OP shit the bed.

My foam mattress made me vote for Trump.

The mattress is coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE!!!!!!!!

Fatty fat fat!

I feel bad for your dog.

Top tier trolling right here. Lol..

I hope the foam mattress doesn't make your dog shot the bed.

Or shit the bed.

Boppity bop!

My sofa made me eat a dozen donuts in one sitting.

Riiiiiiight. It was the mattresses fault. Darling, you're a whore. Plain and simple. The parade of men who've pounded that gaping mess has finally caught up to you. Time to do your Kegels! And order some Depends!

Sue the mattress manufacturers, OP, they betrayed you and your right to super-charged mobility

If the foam is that accommodating you could probably get away with a bedpan or a bucket wedged under your ass while you sleep.

R19 his mother must be so proud! She probably tells her friends, “look my son is a model!” She then tosses them a package of Depends!

R61 Lmao Thanks for the tread OP

Agree with R18. Score: 10/10.

I was staying a few days at a relatives cabin. They raved about the latex mattress in the guestroom and how comfortable it was. It was very comfortable! The problem was I could barely turn over or get out of bed!

You could use this video as a behavior modification tool, OP. Just substitute "poo poo" for "pee pee" and I bet you'll see results soon.

Is this you, OP?

[bold]EDITOR!!![/bold]

The "shit the bed" troll is loose again.

Things to consider when choosing your next mattress.

Hawt