Omg I was on zoom. Watching the recording, my turkey neck cannot be missed! Horrors!

Plastic surgery is your only hope - no remedies or creams will fix that.

Get one of those whiplash neck cuffs.

Get a light and airy scarf.

Cheer up, Dr Birx. No one pays attention to you any more anyway.

Tell people you've decided one can't be too safe and you will be wearing a face mask in your own house. Get one that covers a good portion of your neck.

I noticed on Zoom that I have gynecomastia on my left side. I don’t know when it developed. It was likely caused by an antihistamine I have been taking for an allergic disorder but it could be fucking breast cancer.

(I avoid looking at my body in the mirror because I have major body image issues due to health-related skin problems.)

hide behind a fan like Angelyne

A luchador mask can be subtle and effective

raise the computer camera.

Do what I do, Darling! Invest in statement necklaces. Lots...and lots...of statement necklaces..

Nectifirm.

OP, have you tried a high-starched collar, high-topped shoes and your hair piled high upon your head?

R9 is correct - professionally shot images of people always place the camera at eye level or slightly above for a “neutral” or normal look - it is most flattering, and closest to the angle we see other people in life.

Computer laptop cameras are too low A so they shoot up on your face from below and you look creepy / terrible. Raise your computer on a few books so the camera is at the right height. Also sit up straight and position yourself 3/4 facing a window for good lighting - make sure the background is also lit, but not more brightly than your face. - that’s why the sun or a big light fixture behind you looks terrible.

Also, if possible position yourself so there is receding space behind you - not just a close flat wall - sitting in the corner of a room, facing a window with the space of the room visible over your shoulder behind you makes for the most pleasing kind of do-it-yourself video image

There are ways to fix that turkey neck

Closet full of turtlenecks.

Gold Bond Ultimate Firming Neck & Chest Cream. It really works.

R9 r13 thank you. I also have a habit of d Cocking my head up when I talk. I saw enormous closeups of my Dionne-esque nostrils too. Raising the camera will indeed help with that. Not that there's anything wrong with Miss Warwick's magnificent orifices.

R13 you seem knowledgeable. I was also told my talk volume was low because I was too close to the laptop which made its auto volume kick in and reduce the level of the sound recording. Truth to that?

Wear turtlenecks make it your signature style.

Cool sculpting

Several years ago I had my turkey neck removed by a qualified plastic surgeon just after I turned 60. It was the best decision I ever made and cost around 8k but worth every dollar. Now at 66 there is still no sign of any sagging.

Didn't Katharine Hepburn always wear high collars to hide her neck?

I would try this route, OP

Be subtle dahling.... a little goes a long way.....

R17 - place the computer far away enough so you are framed in a medium close up - bottom of the frame is slightly above your nipples, your shoulders aren’t cut off on the sides and there is some room above your head - then talk normally. Assuming you have left all the mic setting on auto this should work fine. Also - you should be turned slightly so your face is not dead flat on the screen, but modeled with a slight angle to it - You will look better and this will also keep your voice from shooting directly into the microphone and that will help with the modulation as well

Brilliant r26. Thank you.

Face lifting tape and bronzer to darken and make the area less noticeable are two quick temporary fixes.

Face lifting tape. Hold on. I'm sure I have some lying around somewhere.

Clothes pegs and kleig lighting.

Also - how did R25 know R26 was going to be brilliant?

Ah I forgot to mention my zoom meeting was our weekly coven. Bit

Point the camera at an old photo of yourself on a stick and talk unseen in the background. It will definitely get you remembered.

Wear darker colors. The reflection of the dark color on your skin will add some shading. Don’t wear red on camera — it bleeds. As others have mentioned, find the best angle and most flattering light. You can do a personal meeting to see how you look on screen. If all else fails, upload a flattering photo of yourself and do without video.

How about white. I look good in white. And pink.

Is it a dark white?

dark white is the best.

Maybe a ring light would help, OP. I bought one and it’s a flattering light that evens out the skin tones on my face. It might help w/your neck. My ring light also came with a phone stand so that I can raise my camera and look straight into it. The stand did improve the look of my chin area.

One of my first jobs was film developer and printer for a Las Vegas casino photography concession. We took quick shots of tourists before the show, printed photos, and sold them at the end of the show. Nobody buys an unflattering photo, so our camera girls instructed everyone with extra chins or a turkey neck to pose with their chin resting on their fist or their interlaced fingers. It worked like a charm. This was back in the stone age, so we also touched up photos with a little water paint, enhancing lips and cleavage and shading out bulges with my little brush.

You just need to find your signature pose. (Just kidding, camera angle and lighting are everything.)

[quote]Didn't Katharine Hepburn always wear high collars to hide her neck?

What kind of a vain celebrity would use specially styled clothes to hide a physical deformity?

i won't zoom because of all this

OP don't forget your smoke and. mirrors these can work wonders.

R36 I'd be caught dead before I pose with my face resting on my interlaced fingers like that! 😡 it's so, so, so ... unmanly!

Thanks for nuthin'.