Friends with a lot more money

3/10

jealousy is ugly and a true friend is sensitive to another's financial position

Maybe just park your envy for a change and only do things you can afford to do with them?

One of my best friends was extremely poor -but then earned millions from her creative work (I won't say more, as she could be identified). One of the nicest and most down-to-earth people you'd ever hope to meet. She upgraded her standard of living and travel opportunities, but has maintained her old friendships. She has always been generous, remains cautious about spending, and is quick to support someone in actual need. She remains the person she always was. No airs and graces. It would be easy to be jealous of her, but she worked hard for everything she has. She earned it. I think she has successfully navigated the income disparity problem by keeping her head on straight, knowing what her friends can afford to do, and being willing to pick up the tab from time to time when they could not otherwise join in with her.

Swim in their pool, fuck their houseboy, then slap them viciously.

^ and drink their booze

I wonder if we have the same friend, R3.

I have been in the same boat. Everything will be fine until they introduce their rich friends to you, thinking everybody is going to become best friends. What happens is that these rich friends will despise you and want you out of the picture. You are not one of them. Your old buddies will start inviting you over less and less until the friendship totally fizzles out.

This is what happened to me, hopefully it won't happen to you. But be mentally prepared in case it does.

OP, there's nothing you can do, and if you like them as friends, give it a try to get over your jealousy. If you can't, distance yourself. These economic divisions are often permanent and they are not easy to navigate although it can be done. There's no reason you can't be closer if they will be in your city, just set your budget for joint activities. That could be an opportunity to communicate the economic difference, if necessary. "We'd love to go out to dinner but that restaurant isn't in our budget, how about this one....." And when you visit them, you bring 10 buck wine, not Bordeaux. If they aren't gracious, dump them. If they offer to invite you to expensive restaurants, it's tricky. But it's good to be frank about money and budget. Again, if they don't deal with class, then you know what to do.

Can you provide any examples of their behavior or are you worrying about scenarios ahead of time that never happened?

They're moving into the city. You'll see them and hang out. They'll get busy with other things. You'll see each other probably 2-3x as much as now, but not as often as you think since you're both married and have jobs.

I really don't get the problem here.

R7 that's exactly what happened to us.

You will feel the pain of being regarded as "not good enough." We've spent years trying to be equal and keep up our share of entertaining etc. but all for nothing. They love their billionaire friends so much though we are the people they "relax" with (so they say).

But now we are the ones who are grateful we aren't in their lives, ever since the DOJ have indicted them as part of a money-laundering scheme and shut down their nice little earner.

I went to Harvard and became a college professor and make a fine middle-class salary, but some of my old friends went into business or entertainment and now make a fortune. My friendships with them are pretty circumscribed now--it's too hard to do things with them because they want to spend so much more money than i do. We're still friends, but it's not as easy to spend time together in the ame ways it used to be.

OP, I can foresee something similar to what R7 describes. You will be their best buds initially - until they develop a new, equally wealthy circle of friends in the city. If you know that going in, you won't be hurt when you inevitably see less of them.

I hope you don't end up like this, OP.

I certainly have a bit of trouble listening to how some friends choose to spend (waste) money, especially as it concerns their children, but it isn't necessarily that they have more. Often the case, they have less, or nearly the same; just radically different values and behaviour.

One friend who had earlier complained how her daughter's friends were thrown extravagant birthday parties, went on to commit the same insanity, and spend about 2K for this pack of toddlers. Each guest received a gift as well, so no one felt "left out".

Another friend, takes his daughter to get her "nails done" in a ridiculously NJ fashion. He also complains about what he spends on hair and make-up for the ten year-old. The girl just "had to have" Ombré hair... several hundred later, and the blonded portion turned green from the swimming pool. Back to the Jersey Girls salon to sort out the problem. (Yes, they do live in NJ, and happen to be Italian) BTW, his WASP wife is horrified by all of it. She's gracious enough to excuse it as their "father-daughter" time, but agrees it's over the top, and a waste of money.

I'm glad I never had children, I think many rich Americans are unbelievable tacky when it comes to indulging their spoilt children. These children also whinge like you can't imagine.

Both friends have bought the latest iPhones for these children too, which I find absolutely ridiculous.

The one good Jennifer Aniston film, "Friends with Money" is all about this

Nouveau riche eat each other alive. It's not a world you want to be in. It's exhausting and false. Just take any run-off luxury you can get, and laugh at their follies and enjoy their insane stories.

Seriously, it's an idiot race up idiot mountain. And they'll still never be accepted by those they aspire to be. If you are satisfied in this life, you've won.