My neighbor stole my Tina Turner wall clock

Kill him.

Make sure you have a plan in place to get rid of the body before you do.

I can not stress the importance of this.

Otherwise you'll just have to move and I really liked living in Boulder, all things considered.

You poor dear. Your trailer must feel so colorless without it.

10/10, OP.

Finally!!!

Better be good to me or I’ll use my steel claw!

I'll send over my private dancer to make you feel better.

How can you get someone to return a Tina Turner?

OP, you are so lucky to have such a thoughtful and considerate neighbour.

I feel your pain OP, I'd be devestated if someone stole mine

That’s ok OP. Replace it with this one. You should be able to find one in a burned out dumpster near you.

I had a hemmorhoid removed last Friday and Barb used my hidden key to gain entry to my domicile then snatched my Tina Turner wall clock I had bought myself last Christmas as a special treat-to-me. I just called Barb and confronted her wall clock stealing ass, point blank. She denies it but my neighbor across the street has her on video going into my domicile. She lies and is gonna get her ass kicked.

Then go on over and revenge-swipe his Diana Ross wall clock, bitch?!!

Is your neighbor a private dancer?

Does anything beautiful remain?

Calm down, proud MARY!

This sounds like a case for Judge Judy, OP. Better hurry before she retires.

Looks like people on the river are happy to give AND take.

I can relate, someone stole my Reba ashtray!

OP, was your outpatient procedure a lobotomy, by any chance?

Barb is such a bitch.

OP'ette clearly stated it was a hemmorhoid procedure, Mary R18 !

What you get is what you see.

You must understand though the look of your clock made her sticky fingers react. That it's only the thrill of seeing your girl Tina, it's physical, only logical. You must try to ignore that it means more than that.

Why do Datalounge guys experience the weirdest shit lmao.

THIS is why I thought up sharia law!

Someone pilfered my Princess Diana memorial plates

At midnight, the clock chimes out: “You better be good to me”!

WHUN AH WAZ A LITTLE GIRL, AH HAD A WALL CLOCK ...

I'm glad you came through your surgery and are still One Of The Living......

Why would anyone want a Reba ashtray that doesn't even look like Reba?

I knew this thread would be awesome just from the title

OP's Tina wall clock is simply the best cuz there are a lot of mierda Tina clocks on Ebay

You should force her to eat the cake.

At least you know that clock is still ticking somewhere. Someone once stole my "Here comes Santa Claus" chocolate Santa that I got at Dollar Tree, and I am certain he was eaten.

[quote]Why would anyone want a Reba ashtray that doesn't even look like Reba?

... or an ashtray that doesn’t even have a groove in it that you could rest your ciggie in?

Has nothing on my Anastacia clock!

I think my neighbor stole my Donna Summer phone off the wall.

This is the best thread I’ve ever seen. Legit laughed out loud when I scrolled onto it.

Someone stole my bell! 🔔

This reminds me of the time someone stole my 'Beaches' watch...I'm sure it was one of you cunts!

OP, why didn’t your neighbor “Show Some Respect” for your possessions?

My Elvis earrings....gone as well

Are you quite sure it was Barb, OP?

If you go near my Mariah Carey pins, you're dead meat!

You think THAT's bad? They paved my paradise and put up a parking lot!

I legit want those, r43!

OMG!!!!

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

R25, my Diana collectables also got stolen. Must be a thriving blackmarket in that stuff.

Thank God it wasn't your Patti LuPone snuff box. That is irreplaceable.

OP, sounds like there is another underlying issue with you & Barb. You need to ask yourself “What's a Wall Clock Got to Do with It“?

Barb sounds like a Typical Female.

If I were you, I'd kick my neighbor's ass all the way to Nutbush city limits.

When you lay your head on it, the pillow says "It's OK, Karen, have another cookie."

I'll cut the bitch who tries to take my Justin Bieber hair mist!

R45, R43 seems to have disappeared. What was it?

My Jessica Rabbit doll and all 6 of my Ms. Pac-Man t-shirts have also gone missing.

R51, Why is your Mary Tyler Moore pillow yammering on about Karen having another cookie?

If any of you bitches touch my Dionne Warwick crack pipe, I will fuck you up.

[quote]Why is your Mary Tyler Moore pillow yammering on about Karen having another cookie?

That's not Mary Tyler Moore. It's Barbi Benton.

If that clock wasn't stolen, I might have been Queen

R56 I got your number, hussy.

^^ Besitos, Miss Warwick

You need to go over to her house and steal her Cilla Black salt & pepper shakers! That'll show her who's boss.

As long as the thieves don't tread on my Dusty Springfield roses, we're OK.

[quote]You need to go over to her house and steal her Cilla Black salt & pepper shakers!

..or her Delta Goodrem coasters

How would one tell it's Cilla?

Are they lopsided and offkey?

I'd rather have a cuppa tea.

Whoop his a$$!!!

OP, you won the Datalounge challenge just by bringing a "Tina Turner wall clock" into existence. Bravo!

I’m sorry, OP, but that’s a cheap P.O.S. clock. Who designs a Tina clock without making her legs be the hands? Barb is obviously low-class with absolutely no taste.

Nobody better steal my Janet Jackson Control Top panties.

You should thank him. Tacky as fuck.

Hands off my Streisand cutout, bitches!

I see Gary Busey is still at it. He started out pilfering small kitchen items, now moving on to wall clocks.

If someone stole my KISS clock...

I'd cut their ass

I'm still sad that someone stole Russell Crowe's leather jockstrap from me.

[quote]My neighbor stole my Tina Turner wall clock

Shallow, that's what she is. She's shallow.

[quote][R45], [R43] seems to have disappeared. What was it?

It would appear that you've blocked R43, maybe by accident. You might want to do some unblocking. What the posting was was a picture of a bunch of a kitschy "Mariah Carey inspired pin set." It's actually worth a look.

Don't get arrested for breaking in and stealing it back, OP.

'Cause as you know.....

WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO!

WE DON'T NEED THAT CLOCK TO FIND ITS WAY HOME!

This is why we can't have nice things. Neighbors just come and steal them.

Even though you loved that clock OP, what does love have to with it.

My neighbor stole my virginity.

Damn, OP, grow some fucking balls, channel your inner Ike and go beat the shit out of your neighbor.

Or park around the corner, and when they come out run them over with your Hudson Terraplane.

[quote]My neighbor stole my virginity.

So, petty theft?

I don't care what they say, OP. I think you're pretty cool for having a Tina Turner clock. She's one of the few women in the business that I have actually respected. She had a really hard life. She's a survivor. If I knew you personally I go out and buy you another one. And let the karma hit the thief next door in the ass.

MOTHERFUCKER!

Spin the wheel, raggedy man!

I heard it was in retaliation for letting OP’s dog eat her Golden Girls chia pets.

Barb is a perpetual liar going back to the 1980s.

Tragic.

Someone stole my punching bag.

Console yourself with this—

You need Kramer on the case. He recouped the statue that Ravas boyfriend stole from Jerry’s apt while cleaning

(Proud) MARY!

Somebody should forward this thread to Tina!

Holy shit.

OP, the clock had a certain... naive chom. But no MUSCLE!

Just accept it, OP.

NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO

meanwhile in zurich

OP picked the wrong singer. Now I bet he really wishes he could turn back time.

As my pious father would say, maybe your neighbor needed that wall clock more than you.

You'll never see it again. Your neighbor be on the Freeway.

consolation gif

Bitch was walking in front of my house today (on the sidewalk) and I started snorting like a pig so she could know I’m onto her.

Old by bass bitch

Bump. I need an update.

Can I make my “Gone with the Wind“ plates into clocks?

I have 12.

I think this one for the bedroom —

Church house, gin house, school house, outhouse - OP is on Barb's trail.

I checked my Lulu Happy Shoes collection. They remain undisturbed.

I know Barb and she told me she also rubbed her twat all over your bed pillows.

I thought Joan was my friend, but she sent Christina over to cut down my Judy Garland roses.

Is r105/106 Lindsey Graham?

What's your mailing address, OP? I'm going to send you this Coors illuminated waterfall picture. Keep it safely *inside* the house, though, not out by the pool.

Has this been resolved?

By any chance, is your neighbor named Ike?

Was it a second-hand Swiss motion?

It’s been two months and the first 50 or so replies still make me howl with laughter.

My neighbor stole my MAGA hat. I spent all my meth money on it.

R51 you got runned over. Maybe "There's a Kind of Hush (When I Don't Chew)"?

Barb is manipulative. My bday is this Saturday and I know the bitch will buy me some Dollar Tree gift and tell me that she bought it at Nordstroms.

[Quote]I started snorting like a pig so she could know I’m onto her.

How'd this work out for you, OP?

She heard me but she wouldn’t look my way. She is a perpetual bitch.

typical male!

FYI...

She begged my neighbors on the south side of me to allow her to tag along with with them on a 6hr road trip to Branson MO last year. They dropped her off at a hotel and eventually returned home without her! 😆. She was super pissed off at them and started a social media campaign against them. If anyone is interested in knowing how she got home, just let me know...

She rode home on the mail train?

I am interested in your story of Branson, OP.

Ok. The dumb twat spent all of her $ on crapola CDs at the merch table of some local cuntry band. She won’t use credit cards or debit cards because she says they’re “unsafe”. She had no $, no transportation to return to Illinois and knew no one in Branson. She told her sob story to a middle aged Karen who was working the night shift at the hotel front desk. The lady took pity on her and at the end of her shift, drove 6 hrs so her ass could be out of Branson MO. Supposedly, she offered the lady $20 for gasoline once she returned home but the Karen said “No! You need it worse than I do!” then drove straight back to Branson so she could work her shift at the cuntry hotel. Stupid Bitch has six figures in the bank and acts like she’s dirt poor.

Did you ever find your clock?

Fuck, no. Barb has it! I ought to break into her ugly house and get it. It makes me so fucking mad to know she has that damned thing!

I just discovered the other day that I had an old wedding ring stolen. I kept it in a box on my dresser. It's not something I am in the habit of checking but I felt like wearing it for a few days and that's when I saw that it was gone. It's probably been a couple of years since I checked it.

I'm a complete hermit and NOBODY ever comes into my apartment except for the occasional maintenance thing. . There were some guys in for a repair a few weeks ago. My landlords usually use the same crews and it never occurred to me not to trust them so I went out for an errand and left them alone and I guess one of them went shopping.

There was some value to the ring but it was more of a sentimental attachment than anything else. It represented a very happy time in my life. It just seems like a shitty (and completely unprofessional) thing to do. ) I'm sure they were paid well for the work they did.

Sorry to steal your thread OP. I was going to post this anyway. I hope you don't mind.

Is it possible you misplaced the ring?

Fuck Barb. What does she have to gain? Where could she possibly hang the clock and not give herself away?!? Do you have a new clock yet?

you never, ever leave your apt when workers are in your apt. You watch them like a hawk. You take pic and videos in case they damage your property while doing repairs.

Anybody want to buy a wedding ring.....like new.....

Gross r109.

R10 Barb is a stupid whore and we all hate her, but I can’t say I blame her for swiping that clock. It is fabulous and I want it.

Has Barb ever been to Michfest?

Carl is fucking Barb......I bet.

Barb is female

Steal the clock back, OP. Doesn't Barb have her Bowling League tomorrow night?

Where are we at on this? Comeuppance?

You’ve all been robbed by tricks

Hi, I'm the neighbor's mom. He gave this to me as a birthday present, I didn't know it was stolen! How dare he!

Gotta resolve this shit, soon. Beat a bitch on Christmas!

If you take my Tina Yothers autographed photo I WILL cut you

Thanks for the laugh.

Much love.

I forgot to lock my door the other night and I was scared someone would take my Ivanka Trump perfume....strangely, they didn't

OP should try to trick her into a confession and then go to the authorities.

Maybe OP ask her if her heart is really in some activity. If her reply is “WHO NEEDS A HEART WHEN A HEART CAN BE BROKEN?”, she stole the clock.

Best thread of 2020. Who needs a clock, when a clock can be broken?

Get the neighbours together and force Barb to spin the wheel:

Break a deal, spin the wheel... Gulag!

Op have you maybe thought of getting a new Tina Turner clock?

WhaT’s love goTTa To do, goTTa do wiTh iT? Who needs a hearT when a hearT can be broken? 💔

Where's the GoFundMe for Miss OP?

We need to help her to reclaim her time AND a new Tina wall cock!

It was a one of a kind clock I ordered from a website. It’s no longer available. That is what pisses me off so much.

Come to think of it, I haven’t seen my pet rock in decades.

Hung Tina’s clock on my wall Tickin’ every second of night and day And I never lost one minute of sleepin' Worryin' 'bout how Tina’s timing’ might have been

Big clock keep on tickin’ Tina’s going keep on turnin' Tickin', tickin', tickin' on the wall

Because of this thread, I snort like a pig when I want to let motherfuckers know I am onto their shit.

On To Their shiT 🤡

Considering the recent developments... bump

zilch

No, Mary, it was confiscated by the Good Taste Police. It was burned and the ashes were ejected into space so absolutely no trace of its existence remains.

r159, i hope you're being funny. i fucking loved that clock.

Bump

Bump

Was the clock ever Tina Returnered?

No! The bitch can rot in the city sewer for all I care.

Thank God your Golden Girls Christmas ornaments were in storage. Barb was probably eyeing them at the last Christmas cookie exchange.

She’s no good

I feel for you, OP. Someone stole my Liza Minelli salad tongs; they were a limited edition and a new set is impossible to find.

I think I found something on eBay that may fill the void.

R168 can you post a link to the item not just a pic?????

R169, the link was too long (DL wouldn't allow the URL). So, just go into ebay and type "tina turner clock" into the search bar. Scroll down about 20 hits and voila. It's brand new, ~ $10, however the shipping is from UK and cost about $40.

Can someone please design the clock correctly with TT’s fabulous legs being the hour and minute hands? All of the designs I’ve seen so far are pathetic. Except for the Thunderdome version.

I doubt that Tina would appreciate a clock that 2x a day at 11:05 would show her ankles above her ears

^LOL

How about this one? We learn a little something surprising about Miss Tina around 10 O’Clock.

At 6:30 Tina rocks the long dangling BBC

Yes - her privates are dancing.

Was the clock ever recovered?

The Decline Of Western Civilization

[quote] My neighbor stole my Tina Turner wall clock

Awwwwwwww... NUTBUSH!

March over there and get it back, OP!

Did you ever get it back?

R.I.P. Tina Turner. Are you doing OK, OP?

It just increased enormously in value. Sorry OP.

You bitches are awful!

Already missing you, Tina!

Her time was up.

I’m devastated. I’m crying and listening to Private Dancer. I remember telling my Boy Scout leader I wanted to be a private dancer when I was a little boy. I have to be strong.

Law and Order: Tina Clock Theft Unit

Maybe she just needs new batteries?

Sad.

Her clock is silent now. Rest well, beautiful wall clock.

Wall clock keep on turnin’

Miss Tina keep on burnin’

Tolling, tolling, tolling Turner wall clock

Kick he or she squarely and extremely forcefully in the cunt bone or go for his nuts. That’s unacceptable behavior to steal your clock.

The clock will turn up on eBay at a premium soon 😢