Things you enjoy less as you get older

Any kind of crowd. Used to enjoy the people-watching aspect of it. Now, it's just stressful.

Same here with the music. I rarely listen to it in the car anymore, and my home is like a monastery.

I no longer watch tv series, only the occasional movie or documentary. I still like listening to music in small doses, but I don’t have the time for an album that’s an hour long.

getting older

Going to the gym. It's starting to feel pointless.

Drinking.

Sex

horror movies of any kind. I can't stand them now.

Another vote for sex. And dealing with people. I have far less patience for bullshit.

Ejaculating. I’m a masculine, dominant top and it’s starting to take longer to recover my sense of virility after I nut. I hardly ever masturbate these days. I still have sex but the fuck buddy or partner doesn’t get the juice most times. My boys don’t like leaving the house anymore.

Idiocy.

Eating. Watching food commercials meant to whet your appetite never does that.

R5 Same here . Ironic because I probably need the intense workouts more than I did a decade ago but I find it increasingly hard to motivate myself .

Garlic

Going anywhere at night when I have to drive, especially if it's raining.

Jokes at the expense of old people.

I still listen current music but less than i used to do. And i like literary fiction even more than in the past.

But i like drive less and less with the years.

I still try not to judge youngsters because i always hated unable to feel empathy with people who are young but some of the things they do are totally absurd to me. Anyway, to be fair, a lot of adults do the same stupid things young people do. Social media made the population regress in terms of behaviour, so now it's easier to find 55 years old teenagers

[quote] I rarely listen to music anymore because I don't derive any pleasure from it. I also don't enjoy fiction for the most part.

Me too. Now I just listen to talk radio and read news articles and social media. I used to drive a lot to visit gloryholes in various other cities, but I don’t do that now either.

Life.

Traveling. The most exciting part about it was meeting guys at the bars, but I don't go out anymore.

I don't read nearly as much as I used to, because I'm so tired most of the time that the spare time which I would formerly have devoted to reading, is now given over to sleeping. I do listen to lots of audiobooks in the car, although I find it more and more of a struggle to get into new authors.

Being expected to care. Nothing's in it for me. Everyone can go fuck themselves to death for all I care.

Traveling, specifically flying. The whole process of going through security checks, having them take away a bottle of some fluid because it was an ounce over the maximum limit despite having flown around the world with it for the last two years. Getting the dreaded "SSSS" (or quad) on my ticket which means I was selected for additional security screening. Having someone poach my seat because they wanted family members sit together.

Celebrating birthdays.

Movies in theaters. Even before the plague, going out to the movies had become a chore, not to mention too damn expensive! Plus, the added insult of commercials, followed by trailers, each identical to the rest, with car chases, gun battles, leggy females. Who cares!

(Funny, the last movie I saw was the new Star Wars picture, on March 9. First morning showing on a weekday. Me and five other people. The movie was a bloated, senseless mess. No more of that.)

^ in truth, the movie-going experience lost its magic long ago.

Catching up with younger, so-called friends who, instead of spending the time together sharing pleasant conversation, good food and drink, seem focused on trying to detect age-related changes to my neck and hands.

"I'm up here, bitches, and so glad I never told you my age."

My friend Ron.

Sex has become a bore - I still do it to please my partner but I'd rather have a glass of wine and watch a movie.

violence in movies... those who have limited vocabulary so every other word is profanity.... patience which left years ago....no one knows how to drive.. no one or least most who are customer service don't know what they are doing and don't care...fiction reading, if my interest isn't peaked in the first 20 pages, i'm done...

just seems that everything is a damn science project of hassle...

peaked = piqued, I'm sure.

Looters and destructive rioters.

Doing jumping jacks in front of a mirror.

Spanking

R31 i stand corrected...

Politics. I used to enjoy following it, but now I can't even watch the news.

I too have lost my taste for fiction....and, even more surprisingly, for coffee.

As for ejaculations, they are a thing of the past.

Drinking booze, for sure. As a younger man, I was a binge drinker and was convinced that I was an alcoholic since alcoholism runs in my family. I was a regular at Happy Hour and then I'd move on to getting wasted at the gay bar. Then one day I just got bored with it all. The next thing I knew, I hadn't had a drop of booze in months. That was a few years ago. These days I'll enjoy a glass of wine or a few beers at the holidays with family but that's about it.

Also traveling. As a younger man, I loved staying in hostels and spending my days exploring and my nights (getting wasted) at the pubs. Then the thought of flying started to depress me and the thought of spending $$$ on expensive hotels (now that I've aged out of hostels) depress me. Who needs to see that stuff in person when I can see it online?

Being in a relationship.

Being single.

I used to enjoy having a couple of cocktails. Now, just having one makes me want to take a nap.

Travel, definitely. It’s certainly a lot less expensive to stay closer to home.

Travel, but specifically flying. Airports are such an ordeal now.

Getting all dressed up for the clubs! Mmm gurl, ain’t nobody got time 4 dat no more!

We were at the Prado in December, and as we approached, somewhere near dark, I spied a long line of seemingly-young people waiting. As we headed toward the ticket officials, increasingly concerned that our timing was a disaster of demand, we discovered that the line was for people hoping to enter for free approximately an hour later. We were given the choice of spending the 15 euros each to enter, or going to wait (in the back of) that line.

I didn't even hesitate and paid the 15 euros. When I was in my 20s, I would have been heading to a cafe to while the time, and then headed to the line, proud of my frugalness, but in my middle ages, my time is valuable, and getting to roam that magnificent museum with it relatively uncrowded (since many people were heading to the free line) was a bonus of incalculable measure.

Television. I rarely turn it on. I cut the cord with cable years ago. When I remember I'll watch a half hour of local news and the PBS News Hour. Occasionally Amanpour & Company. I rarely watch it for entertainment.

I agree with eating, nothing sounds good or tastes good and I never listen to music anymore. I have no idea who any of the singers are today.

Reading fiction.

I’m surprised by the posters who have mentioned reading fiction—why is that? My interest in reading fiction hasn’t decreased at all as I’ve aged.

The internet.

r49, I think fiction is about diminishing returns for me. I've read classics and most archetypal stories, so rarely is any fiction doing any pathmaking work for me. If I am motivated to read, nonfiction is guaranteed to have results for me, because I will learn something, or have some truth challenged.

I used to think that was just me as I aged, but most people I know of a certain age are more and more into nonfiction.

R49 I can't speak for the other posters but I find it difficult to get lost in imaginary worlds, even if the book is well written. And frankly, I have trouble empathizing enough with the characters to care very much what happens to them . I suppose I've become a bit hardened in the last few years. Oddly, I have less trouble getting into films than I do books.

Oh R44 how I MISS those days ! Primping,plucking,doing your hair and donning your most fabulous glad rags . It made going out an event . Ah that sense of anticipation as your walking up to the door,knowing you look good ,then opening the door and hearing that blast of music and laughter and sailing in and greeting your 20 best friends with shrieks and kisses ! Oh it was wonderful . Sigh .

Straight women

Empathy

Drinking alcohol

Excuses

Forgiveness

R11 I assume you're talking about R10 yes?

Thought so.

R1 I never loved crowds but now I even find grocery stores unbearable.

Many of the things already listed, and I'll add: urban living. I've grown increasingly tired of traffic, noise, and people everywhere in the past couple of years, but the pandemic really drove it home. In the first few weeks of lockdown, the quiet was so blissful! I used to love the location of my house because, even though I'm on a busy street, I'm close to so many good restaurants and shops -- a fact that doesn't carry weight any longer. After spending Saturday unable to sit out on my own damned patio due to the cacophony of yard/power tools echoing all around, I was dreaming of owning acreage someplace.

Even Beegie OP? Even BEEGIE?????

# 1: Traveling. I spent 30+ years traveling for work, and now I find that I couldn't care less about getting on an airplane, no matter where I would be going.

#2: Entertaining. I also had to do a lot of business entertaining in my home during my working life. Gatherings of up to 40 at times. Never again.

#3: Talking on the phone. I'd rather have my fingernails pulled out than sit and talk on a phone. I'm almost 67 years old and I simply don't have the motivation or the mental energy for long conversations any longer.

Meat.

I never thought I'd be here. But, I'm becoming repulsed by it. I acknowledge the cruelty and suffering on animals by the meat industry. I respect the personal, political and environmental reasons why there is a movement to persuade humans to stop eating meat.

I'm not a vegetarian yet, but I find as I get older, my appetite for meat is waning fast.

Travel

Unlike some here, though, as I get older, I enjoy going back to the theatre. I still get a thrill being in a dark movie theatre, seeing nonsense on a big screen. And I don't mind doing that alone. In fact, I prefer to.

Going to Disneyland. Years ago, I used to love going there. I went last October and it was packed to the rims. After standing in line for 90 minutes for space mountain it broke down. A woman ran over me with a stroller. And I stopped counting how many kids ran into me, not watching where they were going. I spent all this money and was absolutely miserable. I'm done.

R61 go back when it opens, I’m sure it will be like the good old days but you need to go just when it opens because in time it will deteriorate again. I have fond memories of going there in late Nov (best time) and just running back onto rides, no queues!

Reality tv especially Ru Paul’s drag race. After 10 seasons I was done.

R59 whatever your job was, it didn’t pay you enough! That sounds like hell traveling and entertaining!

R61 I wish Disneyland or Disney World had one or two days (or more) a year for persons aged 45 and older. No kids! Yesssssssss!

R63: Yes! I finally gave up Drag Race and all their toxic crap.

What I used to enjoy, but now not so much anymore: Music, going to concerts and clubs/pubs, having people over for a party, eating at fast food restaurants, going to the gym, watching movies and tv shows. I used to be up to date on pop culture.

What I enjoy now: Cycling, trekking and spending time alone at home or out in nature. Also, believe it or not I actually like going to work. I am a 42 year old scientist.

I wish everyone would state their age. I’m only 50 but feel a lot of the same sentiments as many people here.

58 , R68.

~ R23

Existing, yet not thriving.

Nature. It has never been our friend.

(R68) I'm 49.

I was never a huge movie buff to begin with, but I've completely lost interest over the past decade. I can't even remember the last film I watched. I find the current generation of stars so utterly boring and lacking in charisma, and I have zero interest in superheroes or any of the other crap coming from Hollywood. I do enjoy documentaries, though. My TV consumption has also gone way down, apart from a few guilty pleasures.

Eating out...since the stay at home orders started, I've become a much better home cook, and am learning to recreate all my favorite cuisines. It's far cheaper and I know exactly what I'm eating, and no worrying about picking up the virus.

I still love music, though. Life without music would be miserable for me.

R57 I had acreage a few years back, 19 acres with a pond and fruit trees. I also thought I’d be free of noise but guess what country folks love to do for fun? Shoot guns and tear around through fields on ATVs. Acreage does not buy freedom from noise (didn’t for me anyway.)

I'm so thankful that I traveled all over the world, several times, when I was in my 20s and 30s, because I no longer have the same desire to do it now. I like to travel occasionally, but it can be such a big hassle. I remember when you could show up to the airport an hour before your international flight and casually stroll to the gate with a wave and a smile. Traveling was SO easy and relaxed back then.

I totally understand why rich people like to cruise on private yachts now. You get to see the world without having to deal with the rude masses. I'm at the stage now where I want luxury without all the hassle.

There’s this thing called Adhedonia:

For the record, I'm a Late Boomer who "won't ask and won't tell" when it comes to exact age.

and he done ya' a favor @ R76

I'm genuinely curious about the people who enjoy music less as they get older. What specifically about it you don't like anymore? Is it the new music you mean? I still love listening to my old albums and discovering artists from way back when who I missed out on or overlooked. I love music and could never imagine not having it as part of my daily routine. I lost my iPod recently and was devastated, not so much the material item, but because I couldn't listen to my music during my walks, etc. Still love my soundtracks - Barry, Goldsmith, Morricone, etc.

I love going for long walks and listening to jazz or pop or country or R&B.

I do agree about urban living/city life. I loved the quarantine because everything was so quiet and you didn't have to deal with obnoxious people everywhere. Now that things are reopening, my stress is back to the level pre-quarantine. People are being as obnoxious and cunty as they were before the pandemic. Nobody learned a damn thing. But I hope to incorporate the things I enjoyed during the quarantine into my everyday life. One day I hope to live by the water, away from all the hustle and bustle.

Friday nights are now meaningless

63 and retired

When people say they love nature and animals and how wonderful and spiritual it all is I always want a volcano to explode under them or a cougar to attack them while they're hiking. Not really, but you know what I mean. I just find them stupid and naïve. Nature is not your friend as posted above. It is fucking dangerous.

I can't sit through movies anymore which I used to love. Don't have the patience for them and even got rid of TCM. It's too bad because there are a number of classics I've never seen and now probably won't. Haven't even gone to a movie theater in years. My favorite entertainment now is interviews and documentaries on TV.

Reading fiction - haven’t done it in at least 10 years. Creative writing is unbearable and embarrassing to me now.

Listening to music makes me sad now. I don’t want to examine the possible reasons why, so I just don’t listen to it, aside from classical occasionally.

Watching any kind of fucking video segment.

Just give me the transcript and shaddup.

...making new friends as I feel as though I have become quite uninteresting.

R80 I actually look forward to Friday and Saturday nights because I go to bed early and the next morning I get up at four or 5 AM and I know the city will finally be quiet! I take an extra long walk with the dog and just enjoy the silence. I can sit on my front porch and read the paper and it will be totally silent until about 730. I think I need to move away from the big city. I’m 50.

The civilized world is about to be run over by unwashed hordes.

What’s the point of traveling or seeing anything beautiful? You’ll only develop an emotional attachment to it and be that much more devastated when it’s ruined.

R85 I'm with you (see R57) I'm 47.

49 y.o. - also finding the Fiction section less appealing. I'm also not going to as many new movies as I used to. I got spoiled in the 90s, I think.

Still love traveling, even though I'm no longer in hostels. But back in my 20s I was sometimes staying in cheap hotels, too, which are still an option and just fine. Plus now we have Airbnb, which sometimes works out well. As for the wait times at the airport, I'm finding those much easier to withstand now that I have a mobile device - podcasts, audiobooks, movies, music - endless entertainment.

I won't wait in the long lines for free museum night, anymore, though. Happy to support those places with $, and spend that wait time on something more intentional.

I don't listen to the radio like I used to, but when I was commuting, listening to the alternative station, it seemed like the songs were Gen-X-targeted-for-drive-time, which annoys me. I'm listening to the alternative station to hear something new, not oldies. Over the past few years Pandora has helped me find bands I'd not heard before, for instance, when I create a station based on a band I'd never heard of play CBS Saturday Morning. Then I'll check and see if the library has their CDs if I want a longer listen. They may not be "new" but they're new to me. There's so much good stuff out there, it's exhausting.

I'm also enjoying less those friends who included me in their lives mostly just when their children were growing up. Now, when I would have thought they'd finally have time to go do things, we see one another even less often. It's sad.

The only things that I have lost taste for I always had reservations about: driving and contemporary fiction.

Driving was always a necessary evil; I never enjoyed a drive of more than 90 minutes or two hours. Not having driven at all in more than a year, I don't miss it in the least.

I was always picky about contemporary fiction and now deeply so. If it seems planted too much in the present or driven too hard by modern perspectives it's not for me; and the first page or page and a half of a novel tell me what I need to know.

Still love travel, cities, reading, films and TV, food, music (though I never listened as much as many people do), being around people.

'The world without music would be a mistake.' -- Nietzsche

I find that more true the older I get.

R88 From observation, it appears straight people are at their most socially active during their child rearing years. So many activities and events revolve around kids' school and extracurriculars, that parents are exhausted when the kids are finally graduated. They just want to Netflix and chill.

TV. Maybe it's my growing sense of my own mortality that makes it seem like a huge waste of my increasingly limited time. Or maybe it's just that as I can now tell a lot of TV is garbage.

This explains so much.

Look, bitch r93 - I’m 39 and Gen X, so fuck you, too!

Most of you, age is not your problem. Depression is your problem.

true R95

R95 It's not depression because most of these people have stated actual reasons for how they feel.

Sitcoms with the exception of an occasional Frasier and even that is getting less frequent.

Entertaining mostly because of everyone's food allergies/intolerances/sensitivities/new found diet or life style.

R95, yes true.

My older relatives get stuck in ruts where they only do things they already know they enjoy and that list becomes narrower and narrower until they're 75 and now they're difficult old coots because they fuss if every single thing isn't to their exact preferences and liking 24/7/365. It has impressed upon me the importance of consistently trying things out of your comfort zone as you get older and making conscious efforts to switch things up for yourself so you don't get too set in your ways.

So I make it a point to read fiction in genres I don't naturally gravitate to, try new foods, exercise in different ways than my usual routine, watch movies that aren't my usual fare and listen to New Music Fridays on Spotify. It's brought me a lot of fun and I don't seem to feel as out of the loop as other people my age seem to.

Having a purpose. I don't care anymore. About anyone or anything. I don't know what to do with my time anymore.

As I've gotten older I've listened to more music than ever before, and undertaken education in every musical form I skipped in the past.

But one thing I enjoy less is surprises. I've had too many, and have learned there really is no such thing as a good one.

maintaining friendships. I was married to my work and now realize that I have no friends.

Well damn R100 if that isn't the definition of depression.

I still like the gym , thank god, but much else has fallen by the wayside. This COVID thing has been very disruptive and a little depression perhaps as I am 63 and I have heard people say it will be 10-15 years before things return to normal socially and economically and I say " I could be dead by then, so now what?"

People -- I pretty much started social distancing before it was needed or fashionable and I find I really don't miss people. They are mostly just huge irritants and I find my life is happier the less I am around people. There hasn't been anyone in my house except me for the last two years.

R105 =

Skiing, shopping, and eating dairy.

I'm 56 and I have no interest in going out to clubs, events or parties other than family or something work related that I have to attend.

I used to love to drive and now I can't imagine why.

I still love music and probably listen to it more than I ever have. I don't understand people who don't like music. I think they have serious mental issues that they need to address.

Earnest question: Are these antipathies related to personal preference (fatique, loss of interest) or society’s decline (more rudeness, bigger crowds, trashier people, terrible music, etc)?

Trying to please other people who don't deserve my respect. It's so liberating once you stop doing this. You don't have to be civil to your racist family member just to "keep the peace." Family is what you make it and not everyone you share blood with is going to be someone you want to spend time with. There's nothing to feel guilty about.

Also, movies without a point or a message. I'm not saying I want to see a movie where someone stands on a soapbox for 90 minutes and shrieks the message to us, but I also don't want to watch 2 hrs of some boring art film with a housewife cooking dinner, going grocery shopping, and crying that's masquerading as being some profound character study or a mindless series of murder scenes where you couldn't care less about the underdeveloped characters and whether they live or die.

R109 for me, a little of both. The " Gay nineties" were so much fun out and about on the town and then after 9/11 things changed and have gotten worse and then add in social media, which is hard to keep up with and not the way many of us were accustomed to interacting , it's no surprise many elder gays have e certain degree of depression and lack of vigor.

Social media is degenerate and turns people into monsters.

unplug that shit

Bottoming. The prep work is just too much trouble.

[quote] R88 From observation, it appears straight people are at their most socially active during their child rearing years. So many activities and events revolve around kids' school and extracurriculars, that parents are exhausted when the kids are finally graduated. They just want to Netflix and chill.

People with children will then have a 2nd burst of energy when they become ... grandparents. I have a woman friend whose life is mainly babysitting her grandchildren (daughter's children). She bitches about it and I think I'm done listening. She has a choice.

I have another woman friend whose mother-in-law (husband's mother) refuses to babysit. Friend bitches (minorly) about MIL. I don't say anything b/c I can understand why MIL doesn't want to babysit.

I still enjoy music and I still enjoy driving. Driving (alone) w/loud music is still pleasurable to me. Windows up, AC on, no traffic, and I am happy.

Rainy nights too, r116?

If you don't enjoy driving you need a better ride.

R117, not so much on rainy nights. 😬 I have a dark-colored car on top of all that.

TV, hooking up with men (they often disappoint even if they are cool as friends), sex...since COVID-19, I also sleep all Sunday (work from home) and that is all I do.

Driving had become boring and annoying so I am glad I left LA and the US.

I hate the whole airport / airplane experience. On top of that, everything's so expensive in the terminals (food, water, etc.). Just to get myself through it, I allow myself to eat / drink whatever I want in the terminal and on the plane, whatever the cost. I do pack stuff to eat as well, though, for my convenience.

Food all tastes the same. I don’t care what I eat as long as it has lots of salt so I can at least taste something.

Theaters. I haven’t seen a film, play or concert in a theater for at least five years. Most movies are crap anyway. And it’s no longer 1980 with a 19” standard definition tv. I can watch in the comfort of my home with a 75 “ Uhd screen. So why go to the bother and put up with driving, parking, overpriced beverages, talking patrons. Ugh. I can pause the film to go to the bathroom.

People. It’s been said before, but the more I know people, the more I like animals. I just hope people become extinct before we cause the extinction of all the wonderful animals on this planet.

An awful lot of sad sacks on this thread.

There’s wisdom in the elders life of quiet contemplation as the fourth and final stage.

This thread is an eye-opener. It's refreshing to read there are others who, like me, basically... despise people.

I was so happy for the animals and wildlife as they could take over the streets.

I'm depressed now that things are returning back to normal. So many people out and about, acting like assholes and acting entitled.

Poor animals. Poor us.

Rich food. I still have the taste for it (though the taste has lessened), but it's so hard to digest sometimes it's not worth it.

Music, absolutely.

A friend relives his college DJ days by sending me tracks from “our years”. I never listen to them. I don’t listen to music any more. But I don’t have the heart to tell him.

Biting my tongue. I would have never rolled my eyes at someone, or pointed out a person’s fuckery a few years ago. Anymore I’m direct and to the point. If your cart is blocking the aisle at the grocery, I’ll just crash into it intentionally.

R128, I hate sentimentality for music from "the old days."

It reminds me of old men who keep their haircut just as it was when they were 17 and who pine for their high school days.

Shitting. I rarely shit anymore.

Venn diagram of you cunts and the "I HATE to talk on the phone" cunts = total eclipse of the cunts.

Dear god, R130.

I think we can all put aside our petty differences and rally around one thing: no adult male should have that haircut. Not ever.

[quote]Windows up, AC on, no traffic

Where is this paradise with no traffic?

New cars. They all look pretty much alike to me. Sedans looks like all other sedans. Trucks look alike as to SUVs.

There's no particular car to which I aspire to own, unlike when I was younger.

All I know is that when my hybrid dies, I will take the plunge and go all-electric.

I was a teen and the 90s and I loved downloading music and ripping CDs I borrowed from the library and creating playlist. I also had a huge collection of VHS and DVDs

Now I don't really care. I gave away most of my DVD and movie collections. I stream movies and that's even if I watch movies. I stream music on Pandora.

now I just like to watch video clips on YouTube of various things nothing more than 30 minutes

I too, don't have the attention span to sit and watch a movie. It actually makes me anxious to think about. I have been to one movie in the past 5 years, and with technological advancements I didn't know what was going on when we checked in. My niece bought the tix through an app and then checked us in through the app. When we got to the snackbar, I was relieved when they had actual human beings serving analog popcorn. (Though, I think the artificial butter was digital!)

I still enjoy travel, but I find that, once at the destination, I want just to see a few sights and spend the rest of the time simply walking around, having a coffee, popping into a market, and other mundane daily "chores." This is especially true if I have been there before. Does one really need to see the Roman forum and Collosseum again? It looked that way the last five times, and nothing has changed. More often than not, I return from the UK with some spices or food item I found in the market than anything else.

Nightlife is a long distance memory for me. Does anybody over 25 go clubbing any more? I did well into my 30's but now shudder at the idea.

As for reading, I was an inveterate reader in my youth and into my 40's. Mostly fiction, but especially historical fiction and war novels. Now I read mostly classical literature and nonfiction. I still enjoy films, but the kind of films I enjoy is very different from even ten years ago. From my late 20's to mid-40's, I saw at least one movie a week in the cinema. "Art house" and limited runs were my sweet spot, but I liked blockbusters, too. The nearest art house theater now is an hour away, and mainstream released are just so predictable, which makes them boring to me.

Alas, I still love music, attending concerts (as long as there is assigned seating), shows. And my trips to Las Vegas are holy to me. I used to say that my three favorite things happened at a blackjack table -- drinking, smoking, and gambling -- and that if I could have sex at a table, I would never leave. I quit smoking five years ago, rarely drink alcohol, but I still love gambling. Mercifully I can afford to lose enough to make it interesting and when I win, I am ecstatic.

I also have taken up swimming again, after a thirty year hiatus. Not sprints or fancy strokes, but just spending a couple hours here and there in the pool. It is relaxing. And I still enjoy cooking and baking. I just wish my husband still liked to eat whatever I make, but as he has aged, he has cut way back on extras. So now I bake my stuff and take it to work, where others eat them.

Thank t you guys for making me feel so normal!

I relate to 95% of the posts above!

Reading the obituary pages.

Some of this is a function of aging, of course, but some of these things are large cultural shifts that everyone is experiencing, not just gays of a certain age.

People don't collect things in the digital age the way they used to: CDs/records, books, movies. Why bother stockpiling recordings of things when you can stream them for free or for a small fee? Why own a movie or TV show you probably won't watch more than 2 or 3 times? Why collect things that only clutter up your bookshelves or your hard drive? Popular culture has become more ephemeral than ever.

I was a movie fanatic growing up and remained one until about a decade ago. I think we're seeing the end of the 1.5-2.0 hour narrative feature film--the classic Hollywood movie--as a dominant cultural form. People will go on telling (and watching) stories, but limited episode series and short-form video across TV/streaming platforms feel much more timely and relevant right now. Forget about movies in theatres: the whole notion of movies feels out-of-touch to me.

Culture changes. A few people might mourn the death of popular operetta or big band music, but that doesn't mean it's coming back anytime soon.

57 here. I read every post and this made me feel better than I've felt in a YEAR! I thought I was either disassociating (not sure what that is exactly and didn't Google it yet), my frontal lobes are shrinking from past Adderall abuse, or the Alzheimers has set in for realzz this time. I too have lost my zest for everything I love, and I used to love everything; there weren't enough hours in the day! (I'm crying now) xxx

y'all bitches need me STAT

I agree that my collecting days are over. My partner and I would go out junking and to antique malls (see the thread on that!) and the month I turned 60, I was over it and it’s all on eBay. I used to feel a sort of passion for it but now I want less things in my life.

Ditto the posters on air travel. Besides the hassle of flying these days, my leg cramps up if I’m on a long flight.

But the advent of THC gummies has made me totally enjoy going to concerts again. They chill me out about the crowd and I really get into the music.

Music seems to be repeated many times in this thread. Some of you may just be tired of "your" music and don't care for new music. I've come to enjoy the 1940s channel on satellite. For me, its' great "background" music while relaxing on the deck playing online hearts. I was exposed to this music by my grandfather when I was a child in the 1970s (during which time there was nostalgia for 1940s and 50s music).

The music thing is the opposite for me. I feel out of the loop with it and almost forget that I have a Spotify or Prime account. Then on occasion when I play an old song or even a new one I just discovered I get overwhelmed with emotion of various kinds. It's almost like a drug now. Before playing a song I have to ask myself do I really want to go through a flood of emotional swings today?

Talking on the phone "to catch up." I will use the phone to convey information, make an appointment, transact business. But I hate having social conversations of any length on the phone. After a certain point in life, nobody has anything interesting to say and these "catch up" calls always become a litany of medical/health/aches and pains issues. Depressing as hell to listen to. If you want to call me and say let's go somewhere or go do something, I'm all in favor of that. I'll even pay for you to go. But if you want to call me and talk about your health problems -- I'd rather drive a railroad spike through my forehead.

[quote] But if you want to call me and talk about your health problems -- I'd rather drive a railroad spike through my forehead.

Except that is all old people want to talk about.

Listen to OLD FAGGOTS BITCH.

People here say that music and culture isn't good anymore. When I was a teenager in the 1980's I LOATHED contemporary music and culture. I enjoyed music from the mid 1960's to early 1970's and that's it.

[quote]I enjoyed music from the mid 1960's to early 1970's and that's it.

Popular music ended for me around 1979-80. I hated disco, though. There were a few exceptions: some of the Police, Talking Heads, Springsteen through Tunnel of Love.

I used to have my clock radio set to the local "oldies" station KRTH in LA. I got so sick of their morning team that I switched over to Ryan Seacrest at KIIS and was shocked when I started listening and loving the music. I also thought I wasn't enjoying music as much but when I got myself out of a rut, I realized I did still enjoy it.

Definitely travel. Do not expect to take any more trips to faraway places. I've been to just about everywhere I was interested in, before the hordes of tourists ruined them.

I still like music, but only jazz and smooth jazz.

Also don't read fiction much but only history, politics, biographies, memoirs, etc.

As far as people are concerned: My friendship circle now consists of only a few trusted individuals. No longer the social butterfly I once was, thank goodness, as I don't much like most people much. I like animals much more than people and we have two dogs and a cat.

Flash. I far prefer a small group in a quiet, relaxed setting.

I agree with all above except for phone calls. And not just about health problems.

Large parties, fundraisers, concerts - anything with a cacophony of voices/music/noise. It's exhausting for me, when it used to be energizing.

Also, work travel. I used to be able to tolerate it and have a good attitude about it. Not so much anymore. Leisure travel is fantastic, but when it's work, it doesn't matter it I'm going to Europe or Oklahoma City.

Unkindness. Bitchiness and all that used to amuse me. Now I just think life's too short to be a raging asshole or even just a petty one, especially on purpose.

Television. Old people were right: everything is just a rehash of old plots that were on 20 years ago.

I'm trying to hang on to my travel passion even tho the airplane etc are so dismal. Love streaming TV and music and have the remnants of a much loved business that I still dabble in at home. So all in all still engaged, but yeah, a lot of the zest is gone, which I suspect has 99% to do with sex.

Travel, which I got tired of in my early 40s. Then in my mid 40s I was injured and it can be tough to walk, which sealed the deal as far as travel goes. I'm 48 and don't miss it.

I really don't care for music anymore, either, not just modern music but the music I used to listen to. My preference is to turn on a smooth jazz instrumental channel and not pay any attention.

My partner is 50 and he's recently gotten into pop music again. He was pestering me to watch a Jonas Bros video the other day! Girl, you can remember what you were doing on the days they were born, cut it out.

R99 = Tony Blair after his daily culture briefing

Cooking and entertaining. I was the type of host who had twice as much food prepared as well as every possible configuration of cocktails on hand for parties and dinners. I would cook and clean for days sometimes to prepare. Now I couldn't generate that kind of enthusiasm for anyone. BTW, I'm 59.

Decorating the Christmas tree.

Mirrors.

R163 - I used to love decorating my parents house for Christmas - from when I was 12 and would rearrange the ornaments that had been hung “wrong” by everybody else - through my 20s when I made things more elaborate and the last 20 years while my sisters kids were growing up. I did a small tree in my apartment, but always focused on their place where we’d all spend the holiday. About 5 years ago, when I turned 50 , I just stopped caring, and frankly now would prefer to just skip the whole Halloween to New Years gauntlet. I may change back a bit once my nieces & nephews start to have kids - I’ve realized holidays are really only fun For me when there are kids around who still believe in Santa.

^^ Ugh! Family shit.

I'm 58 and agree with comments about travel. I used to travel a lot for work and loved it! A new city every couple of days. My house was cleaner because I was never home to mess it up. Now, I couldn't be bothered.

Local travel is just as bad. I'm not far from NYC. Before COVID-19, as I got older, once I got off the bus at the Port Authority, I was already planning what bus I'd take back home. When I was younger, the thing was to make sure I caught the last bus or train to get home.

I still like music but now, it seems, I put it into 2 categories; music I like because I like it and music that has a good tempo for working out/walking.

I too remember going out in the 90s. Now, I can't IMAGINE getting dressed at 9:30 pm to going out at 11 pm. Now, I'm yawning by 9:30 pm and asleep by 11!

Clothes shopping. I still like to and do look presentable but I used to enjoy dressing up to go to work. Even before COVID-19, I was happy if my clothes went together. Now, I don't care WHAT I look like unless I have a video call.

I swore I'd never become one of those "kids today listen to terrible music" people in my middle age and Spotify and Pandora and services like that have really helped me avoid that so far. Those of you who used to like music but don't like anything contemporary, I encourage you to check those out or at least give a listen to the current Billboard Top 40. You may be surprised and there's bound to be something there you like that was released this century.

Dating and sex for me. I'm 52 and don't want to ever go on another date or be intimate with someone. I still masturbate, but no desire for actual sex. The thought of dating and sex makes me exhausted and borderline angry (at the imaginary partner for even asking.) I guess I've had sufficient.

R169-I'm 54 and I still like having sex. Though I haven't had any since early March. I like watching dating shows like First Dates on HBOMax perhaps because I've rarely gone on any dates over the years. Dating does sound hard to me. I would be afraid of rejection.

You can still listen to new music as an oldster, especially since sometimes it is very similar. Many of the songs on GaGa’s Chromatica could be from a 90s dance club.

Christmas decorations: I don't understand why people put pressure on themselves to do this. Unless you have children under 18, why bother unless you enjoy it.

Ailments: I have a friend that I finally just gave up on. Tired of hearing about the current ailment that's on the front burner.

Horror movies, movie theaters

I'm 49. When I was younger, I used to love to watch the award shows. Oscars, Grammys, Golden Globes. Maybe because we didn't have social media in our twenties. It was a bit of mystery with actors and performers. When I see the Oscars now all I see is a bunch of alcoholic, drug addict narcissists. Going to get free goodie bags, designer clothes, booze and pat on the backs. It's lost all its charm for me. And the Grammys half the people I don't even know. Yes, I am old.

Going out in the evening in general. I went out all the time well into my late 30's (I'm 46 now) and I just don't do it anymore. I like going to movies and going out to eat occasionally but I always go to the 1st showing of the day and then lunch. I just don't like driving at night. Worried about DUI's, etc.

I almost never watch television anymore which surprises me. I used to watch a lot of it.

Sex. Bored with it. I still get asked out but can't be bothered. The last time I jerked off was 3 weeks ago. I'm 48. No I haven't been molested or raped.

Same here R176. I did find a guy with a low sex drive so it’s minimal. I also get asked out and hit up for sex, and I’m 48. I think it’s great many people are banging away into their old age but honestly I don’t miss it.

I had a cute younger guy from work hit me up out of nowhere to hook up, but the thought of it drove me to almost have a panic attack. I just couldn't do it. (I will admit it made me feel good he thinks I'm still fuckable.)

Double Penetration without proper lubrication

Travel, crowds and anal.

Unlike my retiree friends I'm more active in a new phase of my freelance career. I have little patience with nostalgic chatting about gay life back then. I go along with some mmm and uh huh but that world seems more and distant and irrelevant now.

I find myself turning off movies more and more often if they haven't done anything interesting for the first 30 minutes. I always thought young people had bad attention spans, but mine has gotten worse as I've grown older. I simply don't have the time to waste anymore. If nothing of note has happened in the first half hour of your movie, I doubt anything of note will happen for the rest of it.

R130 what about the horrible Mark Davis haircut?

Jesus God, what is that?

I'm less impressed by physical beauty in people as I grow older. Even very attractive faces don't spark much interest for me.

Same here R185. Pretty people need to prove their somewhat interesting, funny, or intelligent before I even give a shit these days. I blame all the vapid Insta sluts out there.

"Going out" --- it all seems so pointless now, especially since everyone is staring at their phones.

"Eating out" --- a dinner for two here in SF will easily set you back at least $60 for bare minimum meals, $100 for anything involving cocktails, $300 for truly "fine dining." That doesn't mean the food and/or service warrant the costs - rarely do they, except for the higher end experiences.

"Shopping" --- clothes are more expensive yet are of lesser quality and unattractive. Very small middle ground between ultraslim teens and 20s wear and grandpa clothes these days. It's hard to get excited by much.

Basically, the SATC-inspired activities that defined me around 1995-2005 are long gone.

R187- You sound like an OLD GROUCH.

I wish I could find something to enjoy.

Dining out -- hard to get enthused about this and sharing common space with people after COVID-19. But even before -- waiting for a table, having to listen to other people's conversations, waiters/waitresses that are bad or rush you out, sub par food - I'd rather spend the money on good ingredients and cook at home. Also used to be a huge dive bar fan but now I'm not so sure. I can get a big bottle of something for the price of 3 shitty drinks. And I don't have to put up with being around weirdos and randos. Of course some people are cool which is why I would go in the first place. Haven't been a fan of movie theatres or concerts for quite a few years now. Only a few occasional exceptions.

I rarely watch tv anymore. There used to be tv series that I really enjoyed but there isn't anything I'm interested in anymore. I still listen to music, but nothing contemporary. Shopping is practically nonexistent; the places I used to go to show are disappearing at a great rate. I used to enjoy movies a lot more than I do now now. It just seems like everything has gone down in quality.

Drinking Cosmos in our Belgian loafers!

Fabulousness.

This thread actually makes me feel a little more normal. I was afraid I'm becoming an old fuddy-duddy. You guys make me feel full of vitality, vim and vigor.

Those of you who seem to hate so many common ways to pass the time—what do you do all day?

I'm sensing a lot of hours lurking on Chaturbate and similar sites while the favored cast recording of FOLLIES plays, endlessly, R194.

51. Clothes shopping ( Fuck that bullshit. ) Travel ( I hope I never board another plane. ) Family ( I didn't choose them, I like many of them, and I'm not sure I'd be sad if I never saw any of them again. )

Metamucil

The Data Lounge: Serving up misery from those with 1 and 3/4 feet in the grave for a quarter-century.

So many places I loved to shop and eat at have disappeared over the past 10 or 15 years, so I find myself not really wanting to do much of anything.

I went to the mall I used to frequent as a kid recently and, besides the major flagship department stores, just about everything was different. That was pretty depressing.

The arch cutting repartee that passes for wit.

Weekend visitors....

Ha! So many things: In my early fifties now and haven't followed new music trends for years. Movies and TV shows usually don't surprise me anymore. To me it feels like every story has been told already. What I watch now feels like the old stories in different formats. Cruelty in movies, shows or real life aggravates me. In fiction it's usually not done right (who smashes through a window, gets up and parties on?), and in real life I find it pointless as a way of problem solving.

That's a good thing about me getting older: I am a lot less cynical, and try to be good role model for effective problem solving behavior. I doubt I am perfect at it, but it's still better to try and be more constructive than just being snarky and just communicating to the world that I am annoyed.

The table. I’m eating smarter these days. I hate feeling stuffed after a meal.

Network television...there’s no there, there anymore. Even cable is boring me now. Thank heavens for Roku.

Republicans

I'm grateful for a college pal I only see 4-5 times a year who is also, despite only being middle-aged, sort of sick of acting like we are kids. We go to a low-key restaurant (emphasis on good portions and a good cocktail list), and then sit in a hotel bar after, despite the price and lack of "scene," so we can just relax, here each other speak, and enjoy the alcohol.

As recently as five years ago, we would meet for Happy Hour, but found ourselves screaming over straight women cackles or gay vocal fry (depending on the place), and not finishing the cheap booze they serve at such prices. We both are willing to spend more money if it means we can have the quiet encounters we both cherish at this point.

Alcohol. Two glasses of wine and I wake up at 3am feeling like I've swallowed a bale of hay.

Datalounge.

Where did all the fun kids go? This place used to be energized with such laugh-out-loud wit! Ah, the golden era of the DL.

(R208) we've been lockdown for 3 months. If you want coked-up millennials you're on the wrong site.

R209 No one comes to this site wanting to read anything written by millennials.

Same problem here, R199. Had a dream last night (probably because of this thread) about going out like I used to several years ago and it was all local places that closed. Even the farmer's market closed last year. I worry that the few places left in town won't survive the pandemic and we'll have literally nothing to do, instead of just a couple of things to do.

Other people. Their opinions.

Viruses.

I agree with so much from posters here. I left NYC for the Hudson Valley about 5 years ago. I was done with the noise, subways, and people.

Now, I love to take my kayak on one of the beautiful rivers here and just glide along - with the sounds of nature instead of the screeching of people.

[quote]No one comes to this site wanting to read anything written by millennials.

They've come to the right place, then.

Same, OP. I'm 32 and I rarely listen to music anymore.

Flying. I just can't handle the herds of the great unwashed. First class has become stupidly expensive.

R215 there are a lot of femme millennials lurking around with nothing relevant to add like you

63 here.

Department stores. I used to love to spend the day poking around the large downtown stores, which included lunch. Now, most of them are gone, and the ones that remain are awful. They're so bright you could perform brain surgery, Everything is painted white, the music is ear-splitting, and the staff is too busy staring at their phones to acknowledge your presence (I'm talking about you, Neiman-Marcus, Copley Place). The irony is that for the first time I have enough money to indulge myself, yet nothing appeals to me. I still like to go to Neiman-Marcus because they have interesting art, but nothing on the shelves makes me want to buy.

This seems to be an American problem. Department stores in other countries are still quite wonderful.

I still love to travel, even with all the hassles, Can't wait for the pandemic to end so I can explore the world again. Getting fucked in a plushy hotel bed in an exotic locale is one of life's great joys.

Over the past 20 years I've developed an appreciation for classical music. That and 40s music is all I listen to now.

We need a new thread of things we enjoy more as we get older. Spruce this place up a titch.

Old people

This clip pretty much sums it up.

Other people.

People saying that it was better before.

Winter.

Presenting hole.

When I was young just a finger brushing against my hole almost took me to orgasim. I'm afraid with time my hole is nowhere near as sensitive so I really don't feel much there anymore.

R226- It's time for you to become a TOP.

[quote]Department stores. I used to love to spend the day poking around the large downtown stores, which included lunch. Now, most of them are gone, and the ones that remain are awful.

R219: At age 63, I'm guessing that at least some part of that must be that you have the things you need. Most people stop exchanging gifts as they get older, or they make a small gift of food or drink or a nice lunch out. Few people in their sixties want someone to buy them a sweater or give them a gift card or buy them some luxury, at least not the way they might have appreciated it 30 or 40 years earlier. People in their sixties lucky enough to have the things they need don't want more of it they way they used to do. If you need a new shirt you buy a new shirt, the kind you like; if you need a new set of kitchen knives you buy them when you need them, as you would a new pair of batteries for the remote control. For people in the sixties, shopping is often as much about replacing things as finning a house or a wardrobe or a table top. Maybe you still enjoy the experience of shopping, but the desire to shop has waned as you want/need fewer things.

I feel like the odd man out here, I find that with the internet there is more and more things I want to do, or develop the skill but don't have enough time to do them all of them before I die. Never had those choices when I was young. I never fit into that corporate drone who works in an office working his way up the ladder only to retire at 65 and kick the bucket a year later. I am more like that commercial with that old woman who is 195 learning how to hang glide.

R68 well, I’m 27 and agree with 80% of the comments posted so far. But then I was a depressed, antisocial and bullied kid growing up, so I never actually ever had a fulfilling social/sex life & career & friendship group in which to lose interest. When you’ve been a loner and flying under the radar as long as I have, it’s easy to forget that most other people don’t live that way (or don’t want to).

All these DLrs here talking about how they once lived for their luxury European sex tourism, and their fine dining & hosting, and their clubgoing, and their Neiman Marcus, and their jetsetting and their sports cars....can’t relate and never will. I was lucky enough to go to a handful of countries as a little kid in the ‘90s thanks to a benevolent aunt, and I have accepted that it is likely I will never afford or manage any more than that thanks to the state of the world now.y family is low-income and estranged so there’s nothing much to fulfil me at home in the future, either.

In the last few years and especially the last six months, however, I’ve come to see what I thought was a curse of loneliness and crushing breadline underachievement as a kind of blessing in disguise. Maybe it’s delusion or just settling, but I feel a little superior that I never “bought in” and don’t have to feel an immense sting of loss. I recognise that my lifestyle is still unhealthy for a human being, but as I’ve never known anything else my wint brain doesn’t perceive any problem to fix.

R90 is so true for me, though. I don’t trust people who don’t stream music in their houses or offices or cars - in my experience they tend to be cruel thoughtless Type As with no imagination. I love this point:

[quote] I still love music and probably listen to it more than I ever have. I don't understand people who don't like music. I think they have serious mental issues that they need to address.

On that note too, I will add that I miss playing instruments. I used to hire cheap orchestra instruments at school and play in all the bands, and that was one of my main outlets along with writing angsty poetry, going to wrestling shows and crying over Emo music by myself (weird kid, as I said). Now, I was a terrible musician and a consistent sixth or seventh chair, but it was something I really took joy and pride in. After a breakdown in College I put down the music and didn’t play again, and after a recent tentative session at the local Rec Center I find my technique is gone on most instruments and that I’ve almost forgotten how to read music altogether. I’m not sure I’ll ever get the feeling or the skill back. That makes me really fucking sad.

[quote]my wint brain

dril, is that you?

I think you have to find things to still enjoy. I look at my mother who's reaching her 70's and she's so bored. She goes to lunch with a few friends every now and then, but that's it. She never had any real hobbies or dreams of her own and finds herself so lost now that her husband's dead and her children are gone. I feel like this is a warning sign to me to always stay interested and have hobbies. While there's so much to despise about this world, there's also so much to love.

That said, I do find myself growing more impatient as I age. Not at things I can't control like a line at a restaurant or a store, but at things I feel like I can control. As others have said, if a movie or TV show doesn't grab me by 30 minutes, it probably won't grab me at all, so why bother powering through it? I used to get through anything when I was younger and try to discover little hidden treasures that few others had seen, because there was always the chance that there would be something worth saving about it. These days, I just stop and realize that maybe this one isn't the hidden gem I was looking for and maybe it's obscure for a reason.

[quote] Most people stop exchanging gifts as they get older, or they make a small gift of food or drink or a nice lunch out.

Totally agree. I really dislike exchanging gifts. My preference is to pick up the check for lunch, dinner, whatever. I have a friend who is older than I am and she constantly shops & gives me bags full of gifts. I've tried to tell her that I don't need anything. I really hate it.

R230, I also look askance at people who "eat to live." I rarely drink alcohol now, so I really enjoy food, still. I still enjoy music. I also love comedic things, things that make me laugh (like DL).

Drinking. I loved to drink when I was younger, but now it holds no appeal. I don't miss it at all.

Agreed, R232. You have to keep finding things to love and look forward to or you are just waiting around to die.

More than that r232 make your hobby pay. You get a vocation for the rest of your life

Reading, sex, exercising, "going out"

No, you need hobbies that specifically don't pay, too. Just things you do because they bring you joy, not because you have to for the paycheck.

Music for me too. I don't listen to music ever anymore. I had such a huge record collection when I was young, just about, the cast albums to just about every B'way show up until my mid 40s when my love of any kind of music, rock, folk, from shows, just everything faded away. Most TV shows bore me. I can't believe the crap I liked as a kid like Gilligan's Island and shit like that. Horror movies like Friday the 13th type hold no interest to me. Fuck, really nothing is all that interesting to me anymore. The highlight of my day is the latest Covid numbers that Cuomo announces.

My taste for foods has changed too. I only crave good quality, nutritious food now. Man, did I like shit when I was young. Then again the junk foods were made with real food then, today it's all like eating plastic.

I used to enjoy going to bed because I slept well. Now I toss and turn from pain all night and if I'm lucky I get about 3 hours sleep on a good night and not even a straight 3 hours, but in maybe 10 minute increments.

Also sex. I just don't even think about it anymore. Actually, that is kind of a relief. I'm as afraid of going near someone now as I was when AIDS first came around. Thank goodness I've always had a lot of self control and just never did what I knew could hurt me. I also have been a loner all my life. I've never needed the company of other human beings. I'm content with my own company. When I had many friends I was always begging out of doing things with them and instead did them on my own like eating out, movies, plays, shopping, everything.

I still love to drink but now I make sure it’s in moderation. The hangovers aren’t worth it anymore if I overdo it.

Only Datalounge can make retirement seem like an endless, angst-filled hell.

R242 you gotta get a gimmick.

I'm trying to keep things in balance.

I know that I can't bear most current movies. And I know that I no longer force myself to finish a boring fiction book but I tell myself that the first half of my life was to learn about the world of art, to force myself to read half of Shakespeare and see most of the great theatre and opera.

And I tell myself that it's now OK to abandon boring fiction books and only see 2 or 3 movies per year and listen to great music and opera free on the radio.

Maybe try audio books, guys. I borrow them from the library. If boring or if narrator's voice is irritating, I return it right away. (Don't ever borrow a book narrated by Reese Witherspoon.)

Even though I've read it before, I borrowed (audio) "The Great Gatsby" and enjoyed it. It's kind of the lazy person's way to "read" books.

I've never tried audiobooks.

Do you ever stop and re-listen to a good section?

Do you listen while doing the hoovering or washing the dishes?

[quote]All these DLrs here talking about how they once lived for their luxury European sex tourism, and their fine dining & hosting, and their clubgoing, and their Neiman Marcus, and their jetsetting and their sports cars....can’t relate and never will.

Oh Puh-lease. 98% of us do not have that life either. Most of those old, old old queens are reliving their sad pathetic life on this anonymous board. They're humble bragging which says how miserable they are in real life.

R246, yes, you can multi-task while listening. I rarely "rewind." The two apps you need to download are:

1. OverDrive (to connect you to your local library)

2. Libby (which manages the audio books you borrow from the library). This is the app you listen from.

...your library may also offer Hoopla, which includes audiobooks, movies, and music.

I don’t have the stomach for violent movies. That shot sticks in my psyche for too long now. I don’t need such things in my soul.

Still love music and sex though.

I’m still here in D Flat

[quote]People saying that it was better before.

And you liked that when you were younger?

Lots of things. I am 42, about to turn 43 in less than a month. Kept waiting for life to happen to me. It never did. Worked my ass off in every job but did not get far. I've spent the last 10 years, mostly working from home. I now wonder whether I will ever be able to work in an office again. I used to go out alone on weekends but now I am tired of it and prefer sitting in front of the telly with beer or wine. Tried dating but it seems like too much work. Besides I am tired of trying to get along with people. Sex has also been pretty much non-existent during this time; my imagination has dried up, so I force myself to watch porn and jerk off on weekends. Running is one activity that I still enjoy, though.

As a kid in school I was bullied and humiliated by my 'peers' and my parents hated me for being gay because an elementary school counselor told them I was. He didn't know but he knew.

I've been waiting to die since I was 11. So I was always old. I truly have no idea what it was like to have been young.

Oh, R254, I'm so sorry. If I could give you a hug, I would (and I'm not even a "hugger"). Please get professional help, if you're open to that.

Thank you R255 but it's too late for that. I live with it. It's hard but I have no choice. I think about children who were treated even worse than me. People whose parents physically abused them (I was not) and even killed them and I am overwhelmed by the horror of life. I have been unloved and lonely but I am aware that I still know nothing of the sadness and pain of what these children have gone through. Yes I don't think the world is a good place.

Cabbage. The indigestion isn't worth it.

Men suck.

Swallowing

Jesus Christ I'm all of you!

R256, it's not a contest of who has had the worst life. Your experience is your experience.

[quote] You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

[quote]You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

"You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here, and whether you can hear it or not, the universe is laughing behind your back."

Getting older.

R240, have you tried a quality CBD sublingual, or a pot edible? I introduced a friend who has MS to CBD and she said it helped tremendously. She now lives in a cannabis-friendly state and moved up to the more potent stuff as she got more impaired, and it still helps. Me, I have access to both, but I like the CBS better for my pain/sleeping issues. As I said, make sure you get a good-quality CBD, it does make a difference.

Sugar. Mousse, candy bars, cakes, pies, chocolate croissants, etc etc. I used to have a huge sweet tooth and "need" at least a piece or two of chocolate per day, if not an entire dessert experience *on the daily.* Otherwise, I would feel empty and restless inside. Now, since I've been in my 40s, dessert or a "treat" rarely ever crosses my mind. But if it does, I am not moved nor tempted by the memories of dessert. I honestly just don't care about sweet tastes anymore.

Surprise anal. I was always down or bent over for someone knocking on my backdoor unexpectedly. These days, if someone shows up unannounced, they are likely to get a big ole chocolate milkshake splattered all over them. Sometimes it’s a almond chocolate shake.

Sadly, I’m only 19, but a really big whore in my youth.

Fruit juices, especially orange juice.

R252

Neither.

But now, I have no patience with nonsense and I dare to be vocal about it.

I answer back. After years of therapy I am able to disagree.

I am happy about that.

R260!

[quote]So I was always old. I truly have no idea what it was like to have been young.

It was overrated. You didn't miss much. Life is much better when you have a job and your own money and free will on how to spend it. Not to mention who you want to be friends with, who you want to love and where you want to live.

OP, I am the same with music and fiction. Too much reality to learn about (can't begin to keep up with books on Trump, even!).

[quote]When people say they love nature and animals and how wonderful and spiritual it all is I always want a volcano to explode under them or a cougar to attack them while they're hiking. Not really, but you know what I mean. I just find them stupid and naïve.

[quote]I have been unloved and lonely

With respect, there's a little bit of cause and effect here. No judgement, I don't really care for people either, but I also am not generally wishing death on them when they say something innocuous like "I love nature."

I'm failing miserably on Grindr @ 63 and POZ in rural Ameria. Bye , bye online hookups!

R273- I would suggest a batthouse but you are living in the middle of nowhere.

R274 thanks, its just for the summer thank god,

Your 63 and on Grinder? Dude? Really? LMFAO

^^You're^

R276 it was a last gasp attempt encouraged by my silly lesbian niece. Point taken!

Dont take gay sex advice from lesbians R278. Probably the last people on earth I would ask.

And vice versa, R279.

63 and poz in the era of Viagra and Biktarvy is not dead.

That is, if you're a top.

Soon, Aunt Jemima pancakes.

Drawing breath.

Material things in general. I used to buy lots of clothes, books, CDs, DVDs, all of it. Now I just don't want the clutter and would rather part with my money in other ways. Oddly though I just got into film photography which is more material than digital photography.

Still like movies but I am a VERY cynical viewer now. I can never watch superhero nonsense either, but all of those upthread who said their movies need to grab them or have a point or a message or something... I am so tired of these didactic Hollywood 'message movies' (and even Netflix / cable shows) with characters giving big speeches about how they feel with swelling music and dramatic closeups. Subtlety seems to have died. Give me an austere European movie or some quiet but beautifully shot ("coffee table cinema?") indie drama where not much happens any day, lol.

Also playing music. I played a lot of instruments growing up at a high level and still think of myself as something of a songwriter / pianist although if i'm honest I almost never touch the thing these days. I see people on Instagram or Youtube, great musicians and think 'I can do that too!' but I pretty much never put it into practice, and I find that my ability has diminished so much now from where I used to be that it's even more frustrating when I DO sit down and tickle the ivories.

I still love to travel but the airport experience has become really horrible. For everyone in general, i'm sure - but I am half middle-eastern, and it just seems to take me twice as long to get onto the fucking flight. It has become humiliating when travelling with friends and I am forcibly split up from them and placed in a different line (full of people who look like me) to get my shoes tested for bomb powder, or fondled by a guard behind a blue felt screen. We often have to board a later flight because I got delayed being taken into an interrogation room so security can go through my cell phone pics / messages, or indicate that my [[Australian]] passport has been flagged for some reason they can never articulate and they need to quiz me about my purposes of travelling, what me and my family members do for a living... In the end it just makes me feel ugly and embarrassed and like i'm holding up all the people i'm travelling with.

The message movies and TV shows are growing a bit tired to me. Yes, every story should have some sort of message, but it doesn't need to be spelled out with a monologue. This is a problem with a lot of those Ryan Murphy shows. They've give a character a monologue about the theme of the week that no human being would ever give in real life.

In all fairness, I used to have this same problem with a show like Designing Women. Those Julia speeches really could grate the nerves after awhile. I always thought The Golden Girls handled those hot topics with a little more humor and heart instead of preachiness.

No more clutter. I got rid of and lost a lot of junk. I'm at peace and want more material simplicity.

Extended drinking sessions. I'm more of cocktail hour drinker now. Also: long-ass guitar solos.

Trinkets, nick nacks, collections they are all just clutter. I enjoyed them but I don't want to be cleaning them anymore, going as minimal lifestyle as I can. It actually irks me when someone buys me a gift and its some shitty trinket for the house.

Restaurants. In fact, I sweat if I have to go into one. I was in the industry in Los Angeles for many years and I have nightmares of endless business dinners and deals. Some restaurants are a complete turn off to me.

Sad, because I once enjoyed the action, but not anymore.

That's odd R289, I love going out to eat. And when I was young, I worked in a 5 start hotel were some really old people who lived there full time partly and we would see them almost every day in the restaurant. It was like their highlight of the day.

Fellow retirees. Because I have moved into another plane of fulfilling activity.

R290 I used to love to go on a night on the town to the best restaurants. I used to make sure my calendar was full every day for a business lunch or dinner - Spago, Polo Lounge, Marino’s, The Grill, but I have flashbacks of business and dealmaking and it’s not an enjoyable experience any more. I feel trapped.

Well R292 stop going to power lunch restaurants. I have been to all of those you listed except for Marino's. Those restaurant are full of pretension. There are thousands of restaurants in that area, maybe try some that are actually know for their food instead of who dines there.

Concerts, dancing

Anyone postponing travel or any form of enjoyment for their Golden Years is advised to read this thread.

What misery.

R291, where do you live now? Or how have you changed your life to be more fulfilling?

"Department stores. I used to love to spend the day poking around the large downtown stores, which included lunch. Now, most of them are gone, and the ones that remain are awful. They're so bright you could perform brain surgery, Everything is painted white, the music is ear-splitting, and the staff is too busy staring at their phones to acknowledge your presence (I'm talking about you, Neiman-Marcus, Copley Place). The irony is that for the first time I have enough money to indulge myself, yet nothing appeals to me. I still like to go to Neiman-Marcus because they have interesting art, but nothing on the shelves makes me want to buy."

I always enjoyed the department store experience, too. It was so relaxing, a nice way to spend some time. It was especially a fun experience at Christmas. But indeed most department stores are gone now and the ones left are cold and unwelcoming. It is a damn shame.

Masturbation. Now it's a chore, simply to keep the pipes flushed.

[quote] I still love to travel but the airport experience has become really horrible. For everyone in general, i'm sure - but I am half middle-eastern, and it just seems to take me twice as long to get onto the fucking flight. It has become humiliating when travelling with friends and I am forcibly split up from them and placed in a different line (full of people who look like me) to get my shoes tested for bomb powder, or fondled by a guard behind a blue felt screen.

R284, sorry to hear about your experiences. I used to get singled out a lot for additional screening. I live in the US & there is something called TSA Pre-Check & TSA Global Entry. I got the Pre-Check. The airline that you fly has to participate in the program (they don't have to participate), but it's on your boarding pass that you are pre-checked. You also have to inform the airline that you have Pre-Check. Not sure if there is an equivalent in Australia.

I no longer like meeting men in college bars or on rentboy.com. Now I highly recommend "adopting" young Latinos. Worked for me!

I still love department stores and malls at Christmas. I do most of my Christmas shopping online, but I still love to visit them during the holidays. It cheers me up for some reason. I love the music and the decorations. It's silly, but since so many other things change about our holidays (deaths of parents and loved ones, moving celebrations to other locations, etc.), it's nice to have some stuff that stays the same.

They cheer me up too R301. I like seeing people's decorations and Christmas lights when I drive home at night, too.

R295 is right.

My parents were old school and said they'd start enjoying once they were retired.

They tried that last year and went out all these senior tours and invariably half the group always got sick. Then they went on a cruise with family, planned a year in advance, then one of them died shortly before.

Then my mother got cancer.

Then COVID-19.

Neither leave the house these days.

Round-the-world trips. I went everywhere once, now I don't want to leave the neighborhood. Hook-ups must come to me and they're a chore, I do it only to remind myself that I'm not dead not because I'm horny.

Neighbors

The mall experience has changed alot since I was younger. I used to love walking into Gourmet stores for odd spices and things to cook with. A lot of them seem to have closed now. If the stores aren't geared to the younger generations (who have little, if any, disposable income), there are too many that are boarded up now. Strolling around the mall, buying a few things (needed or not), and then having lunch was a delightful experience.

The Willowbrook Mall in Wayne, NJ now has a Costco. WTF??!! What kind of mall store is Costco?

R306 - GTFO - Costco is the ULTIMATE mall.

They sell everything cheap and supersized. You can even stuff your face while you're there - before this silly Kung Flu you could do it with free samples.

-Millenial Mom to Catelynne, Madysynne, Ashlynne, Marilynne, Connor, Brock, and Christ-loving wife of the Hubs

R306 I remember those days, too. I'd prefer the quiet, pretty dining room with a simple chicken salad croissant sandwich and a New York Seltzer, at one of my old finer department store's restaurant, over any loud, fast casual restaurant today. And the location I'm thinking of in particular was the anchor at the lesser mall. Going to the nicer mall Downtown, with more stores along the High street, was an outing that I looked forward to. Maybe the rarity and anticipation was part of the enjoyment.

Orgasms

waking up

Awww R310 ,been there. Big hug for you honey ,it does pass. Hang in there.

R301 Where do you live that department stores have stayed the same, at Christmas or any other time of year?

r307, Karens may shop at Costco but true Deplorables shop at Sams Club.

R82. Exactly. If I start to listen to music I am forced to deal with whatever was going on when I first heard it. The new stuff, I haven't a clue.

Definitely sex. Not nearly as intense or enjoyable. Almost an effort now to ensure I clean the pipes and excise any pent up anxiety. I now envy eunuchs who didn’t waste so much of their life chasing sex. It was really meaningless in retrospect.

I used to not be able to sleep without the TV on medium loud. Now I need the sound off. If I hear even a little bit of sound, I can't sleep. I guess age turned on me because I was sleeping with TV sound on since I was a kid up until about 2 years ago (I'm 45 now).

That's a good sign, R316. People that can mindlessly listen to TV (and radio) with the fucking commercials, canned laughter, etc., have got to be either imbeciles and/or have lost all sensitivity in life.

That's a little harsh, isn't it, R317?

Personally I never understood people who sleep to noise. I’m not sure I consider them imbeciles - just an odd ability to not care about what they are hearing.

I'm not one of them, but I do know that some background noise actually helps some people fall asleep, and they prefer it to silence. Different strokes for different folks, as people used to say. It hardly makes them imbeciles. But then, this is an exceptionally cranky thread.

Though it's been said over and over again. I don't find joy in music any more. Or hanging out in crowds. If there is something for everyone to get excited about, it doesn't excite me. Celebrity gossip is a big yawn. I guess there is an expiration date for popular culture.

I don't like noise when I sleep (the noise of my CPAP machine is enough, thank you!) but I do leave the TV on during the daytime when I'm doing other things and not watching it.

"Awww [R310] ,been there. Big hug for you honey ,it does pass. Hang in there."

It does. When you croak.

R308, you just reminded me of the restaurant at Fortunoff's in Wayne (not there anymore). I worked part-time at the store in the Silver section. This was in the 90's while my then-husband was working nights. I can't remember the name of the restaurant but it served the most amazing stuffed flounder with sauteed spinach.

Louis B's was the restaurant in Macy's (former Bamberger's location). They had an amazing Chicken Caesar salad. The dressing was made with anchovies and served on the side. That salad and a perfect martini were just the ticket after shopping.

My 1st true love liked to have the tv on when he went to sleep wich of course I hated . He learned to adapt .

Sex. Bored with it. In my 30s I was a slut and would fuck non-stop. Now, the thought of foreplay exhausts me.

Datalounge since muriel turned it over to Trump trolls and Russians

Dicks

Being alive.

Sourpuss threads like this one.

R330 yet here you are three hundred thirty replies deep

Complaining he doesn't like to read about complaining R330

People.

Ron Jeremy's dick

If I sleep in silence I"ll have nightmares and will be woken up by the first city noises at 5am outside anyway. It's a lose-lose situation. I need to have "white noise" on. Typically I'll put some Howard Stern Saga on because there are so many hours of it that it always sounds fresh.

Data Lounge

Ellen

Unlimited hoe’s holes to completely annihilate. Now just a solid group of 4 or 5 to recycle through is sufficient.

It's not that I enjoy things less, it's that I see them more and more accurately, which is enjoyable in its own right. Getting into my 40s is like seeing the world without the rose tinted glasses of youth, and I'm finding it interesting rather than depressing. It's a new-old world. The veil of fantasy and cultural conditioning is falling away, or being replaced with a new one.

The wife.

Living.

Food.

Rich food. Meat. Spices.

Strained peas. Melba wafers.

Dancing used to love it, now I am completely indifferent Hanging out at bars or clubs. I haven't been to a bar since 2014 Small Talk Driving

People's voices and phones. I hate taking streetcars nowadays. It used to be such a pleasure, beautiful views of the city and I support above-ground transportation.

But now everybody is on their dam phone caterwauling with foghorn voices. Who the fuck wants to listen to your conversation? And, if you're really lucky, you'll get that special asshole who will shout into the phone and then have the volume at peak level so you can hear the screechy end of the conversation.

They really need to make the optimum noise-cancelling headphone for that kind of shit.

I thought people didn't talk on the phones anymore.

Rollercoasters. Why hasn't anyone mentioned carnival rides?

R347 - I’ve noticed people in stores, on the sidewalk or parking lots, on speaker phone. Haven’t we agreed as a society to use earbuds, etc., if we want to avoid brain tumors caused by holding cellular phones to our skulls?

Shallow narcissists who have nothing offer but looks. They get so much worse as they grow older when they really have nothing to offer since their looks are gone. In some ways, I feel bad for them.

Not that I ever "enjoyed" it, but I'm becoming so much less tolerant of any bigotry or racism. I'll actually call people out on it, whereas, in my youth, I'd just roll my eyes and talk about how big of a bigot this person was to my other friends behind their backs. I feel like I have so much left to lose and I feel guilty for not doing it sooner. It's not as if most of these people were people I'd voluntarily hang out with most of the time anyway, so I cringe at my enabling behavior.

Less fucking more cuddling.

I'm less into M and more into S as I get older.

I used to like getting tied up and tortured, burned and cut.

But, when I got to middle school, I started enjoying doing those things to other people.

Luckily, this fall I matriculate at Liberty U, where I hear there are clubs for people like me!

Talking on the phone. I'd rather text. I'm over 45.

Shopping. For anything.

Going to the movies. People act like they're watching it at home and talk, and text.

Going to hang out at a bar. Fucking depressing. I used to think everyone was having fun because I was having fun but most are just depressed, sociopaths.

I enjoy M and G less now. Tedious, elderly has-beens. *yawn*

Yard work. I don't mind mowing and blowing and edging (please insert jokes here, really). But pruning and mulching and weeding are the devil.

"I'm less into M and more into S as I get older.

I used to like getting tied up and tortured, burned and cut.

But, when I got to middle school, I started enjoying doing those things to other people."

R352 = Jack the Ripper comes of age.

Lube

Sharing a bed with somebody. I spend a lot of nights with my boyfriend but I love just coming home and having the bed to myself sometime.

R359! i so hear you! i long for (secretly) the time when i wake up and no one is around and i come home at night and no one is around! as i age, i see my place as a refuge, a serenity, sanctuary from the world and crave peace and quiet...only when I want company do i want company in my place in my space...

The taste of my own jizz

Enjoyment

R362, I, for one, hear you, and I'm sure lots of others do.

It's not like wanting to die. It's just wanting to have a reason to go on living.

Why don't you r363 find some reason to go on living? No one can do that for you.

Tip: help others.

Food in general

This site. The first ten threads were all troll bait -

What is virtue signaling? Black woman set on Fire What does joe Biden offer? Royals thread du jour Meagan markle for Pres Karen example du jour

This place is a cesspool. Muriel doesn’t give a shit.

Cumming. Where did all the precum go, does anybody know?

On the phone thing. I am in the south and right now there is a trend for some reason for people to be talking on their phones in almost all situations. I notice it more at the grocery, and I get that you might need to call home and see if X is what I should get. But these are meandering, useless conversations whose only purpose seems to be making the person on the phone feel less insecure. And the guys with the mic boom headsets? They are the worst. I mean, I detach sometimes by listening to music. But I don't sing along at Wegmans.

I have to sleep with my television on because I have a YouTube channel with subliminal sleep messages on it. It helps.

Sass

Other people.

Celebrity culture. I used to think they were shiny pieces of gold. But up close they all seem to be disgusting stinky pieces of shit. 🤮

A lot of modern movies don't do it for me. They're either cynical cash grabs about superheroes that cost 600 million or overly serious art house movies that feel like first draft student films starring actors who either brood or mumble. Whatever happened to a nice, mid-budget story about two 50-somethings falling in love again or the supernatural horror films starring an underrated, but non-flashy actress in a rare leading role?

Seemed like the 70's-90's had a little more diversity in stories being told.

I rarely enjoy protesting anymore, ever since the secret police started rounding people up.

Today in Portland.

Other people.

I'm down to zero friends. All without breaking up with my former friends who've all deliberately been downgraded to rarely seen acquaintances.

Me too r376. Around six years ago I had a nasty spat with my bff. We stopped speaking to one another and I realized that I no longer had the emotional stamina to maintain a relationship, platonic or otherwise. One by one my acquaintances and friends fell off of my radar. The ex friend even reached out to me last year after the death of a mutual friend. I told him that the nicest thing that he could do for me was to no longer contact me as I wasn’t interested in being buddies with him. I just can’t anymore. I don’t want to.

Being on the receiving end of anal sex.

PEOPLE!... maybe i'm crotchety but the vast majority seem to be either a) assholes b) stupid and ignorant c) selfish self absorbed weirdos.....

more and more i find being alone, time with nature and time with animals way more satisfying..

Everything, except sleeping.