Let's be an episode of Columbo!

I’m Ruth Gordon using a walk-in safe as a murder weapon.

I'm the insanely cluttered interior design in every episode.

I'm the only place you'll see justice being served to rich people.

I'm Columbo's dog.

I'm Columbo's never-seen wife

R1 That's who I wanted to be! I'll settle for being Edmund instead, using his belt buckle to scratch an arrow on the backs of the deposit boxes.

I'm Dick Van Dyke"s vandyke.

I'm Jack Cassidy, the epitome of a "Columbo" suave and evil villain.

I’m Barbara Colby as Lily La Sanka. Who suffered a needless death by the above Cassidy, but who was also needlessly murdered a few years later in real life.

Lilly*

I'm Bob Conrad playing a gym owner who wears the tightest pants imaginable

(Turning around) Uhh, just one more thing….”

I'm the gray raincoat.

Was Roddy a top or bottom?

I am the now outdated or commonplace things that are marvelled at in each episode, like "health cookies" and VCRs.

Were health cookies like Ayds?

Oh, my grandmother has the DVDs. Sometimes to spend time together we watch an episode. They aren't that good but sometime by force of personility they are better than anything you've ever seen! The Ruth Gordon one for sure. She should have got away with that except for the sand in the ashtray!! Damn Dicky Van Dyke in the totally dumb plot as the photographer. He was sexy. Who knew? Not young either. Suzanne Pleshette! All these dead people I learned about on Datalounge.

I am the last turn around at the front door....with the squint and a fresh question.

r9 I'm Mary Tyler Moore and I actually killed Barbara Colby for making me wear this dress.

I'm the ubiquitous cigar

I'm a young Kim Cattrall, clutching a teddy bear

I'm Mrs. Columbo, previously known as Mary Ryan Fenelli.

I'm that amazing bathtub and creepy basement in the episode where Martin Landau played twins. It's weird that there's not a lot of modern LA architecture or interiors. Just very dark wood.

I’m Miss Faye Dunaway who wins a fucking EMMY for giving Columbo a hard on by wearing this dress.

She actually was very good in this episode and her face was still beautiful

I'm me. I don't get it.

Faye "the face" Dunaway did a Columbo episode? Wow. Of course she was still beautiful. The most beautiful of them all.

R25 Yes, I did. I was a very special guest star- brought in to sweep the May ratings and give the show some taste and elegance. I do a lot of charity work like this, but it never gets press coverage- just like my film with Brando and Depp or anything else besides Mommy fucking Dearest

La La Land!

Young Columbo. Would you do him? Well, would you?

Abso fuckin' lutley.

I'm the groovy 70s clothes

I'm Vicki Frederick. I fucked Fosse and Craig Baumgarten, whom I married and he got me a movie with Peter, .....All The Marbles.

I'm the home viewer trying to figure out which of his eyes is real.

I'm Leslie Nielsen, playing it straight and helping expose my murderous fiance..

R20 she’s gorgeous

I'm Mrs Chadwick, and you killed my son!

I'm the wardrobe mistress struggling to hide Roddy's giant member in his tight pants.

I'm that last episode of Columbo that you've never seen and are saving for a shitty day as a pick me up. You do know Leslie Nielson isn't in it, so maybe there are two episodes that you haven't seen.

I'm the subtle ruse that Columbo uses to trip up the villain, who will confess and spare me the indignity of getting thrown out of court when a judge finally gets a look at me.

I'm the knowledge dynamic. At some point, the suspect knows that Columbo knows, and Columbo knows the suspect knows he knows, but all conversations between Columbo and the suspect are based on the premise that no one knows anything.

I'm the inability to fool Columbo. Sometimes you wish I didn't exist because the "guest murderer" can be so charming.

I'm Faye Dunaway looking fantastic, flirting madly, and walking away with an Emmy.

I'm Edie's ombre chiffon!

I'm the Peugeot 403.

I'm Susan's kicky wardrobe!

I'm the clue to the solution, lurking innocently in the background during the murder.

I'm the plot holes you could drive a truck through but you don't mind me because you love the show's formula and seeing aging stars overacting among fancy surroundings.

was this during Ronnie Reagan's fabulous California years?

I'm the music in the Trish Van Devere episode (Make Me a Perfect Murder). I am hauntingly beautiful and foreboding, and I am possibly the best score ever in a single episode of a TV drama.

I'm Eddie Albert and I think Peter Falk is a real asshole!

[quote] I am hauntingly beautiful and foreboding, and I am possibly the best score ever in a single episode of a TV drama.

Hey, I'm popping in from the Hitchcock TV thread and I think my score for the Alfred Hitchcock Hour episode "Change of Address" is more hauntingly beautiful and foreboding.

I am Ian Buchanan’s shot eating grin knowing I’ve pulled one over on on the old lieutenant.

Shit*

Did Ian Buchanan ever officially come out?

I'm Goop, in my earliest screen appearance in the "Etude in Black" episode.

I’m the rarity of security cameras. In today’s world with even the poorest of people having security cameras, 75% of the plots would have to be rewritten because they would easily have been caught by a security camera in at least one of the locations that they carry out their plan.

I’m one more thing...

[quote] my murderous fiance..

Oh, dear!

I’m the raincoat pockets. I’m filled with a lot of stuff, including a hard boiled egg.

R37, Leslie was in two episodes, so maybe there are three you haven’t seen!

Dabney Coleman is another actor who was in two different episodes. Any others that were in more than one episode?

Oh, sure.

Jack Cassidy

Patrick McGoohan 4(!)

Robert Culp (4)

There was an episode where his wife Shera Danese appeared in a skintight pink leotard, and she looked naked as a jaybird.

Too bad Joan Crawford didn’t do an episode.

I'm the blowjob given to gorgeous Edmund instead of suffocating him in a safe! What a waste!