Let’s be “DataLounge: The Musical!”

I’m Ann Miller, making a big production out of things!

I'm the past thread aka Springtime for Hitler.

I'm 1000 year old Steve Sondheim, busy planning a musical about the Trumpster looking for a tantric goddess

I'm Stritch's pants aversion.

I'm the Darfur Orphan. I've been told I'm being paid in crackers, which excites me.

I'm Chrissy Metz, and I choreographed this entire shitshow. It's mostly just shuffling and wheezing, but I'm really proud of my work, and now I'm taking another ice cream break. Someone hand me my snack purse.

I’m leggy Tommy Tune.

I'm Meghan Markle, and I'm the star! Me, me, me!!!

I’m prime time. I usually kick in around intermission.

I'm Follies -The show everyone wishes they were in.

God forbid we have just one thread for every topic / let’s be!

I'm gay as a daisy!

I'm Ben Vereen. I'll be playing David Ehrenstein.

I'm Bonnie Franklin.

Where's my dressing room?

I'm Patti LuPone -Quake with terror, castmates!

I’ll be the writer that appropriates hip-hop and crafts a number with a nod towards to the successful Hamilton.

I'm Lorna Luft's plaintive ballad, "I'm not Liza, Joey let go of the cat!."

OP did you think you were gonna get away with when R2 was two steps in ahead of you?

I am the dream ballet sequence that puts Agnes deMille to shame. Swirling caftans everywhere, as everyone presents hole to the leading man an he rates them for desirability. Suddenly, his boyfriend enters, saying, "Let's be... a pron film!" The caftans fall to the floor, revealing the dancers clad in sequined jock straps and the boyfriend does a bolero simulating sex with the entire cast -except the leading man. He clutches his pearls, drops his dialing pencil, and yells for Vivian Vance to save him. The stage is filled with swirls of colored smoke. It suddenly clears revealing our man and his boyfriend in bed asleep. Our hero wakes from the dream and begins beating his boyfriend with his pillow, doing his best Lucy impression.

I smell a Tony!

The caftans fall to the floor, revealing the fat elderdancers clad in sequined jock straps and the audience stampedes out, hissssssssssing.

Too obvious r19. Perhaps a few foul mouthed puppets would help take it down a bit.

We’re gonna need a wine bar and a snack bar. And this production can only afford boxed vino and microwaved popcorn. Dependent on the length of the intermission, there is a Angelo’s Pizza across the street.

No, no, no! We're saving he foul-mouthed puppets for the finale!

What if we replace the dream ballet with a group of Instagrammers doing a striptease?

When do we bring on the chorus line of crabbing walking lesbians?

I'm the pasta tongs offered as a prize to the first audience member to find the one minor typo in the Playbill.

All I know is there won't be a dry eye in the house when leading man's boyfriend dies horribly in a grease fire!

I'm Deb Messing, star of "Smash," and let me tell you about ME — in song!

I'll be the orchestra conductor - the orchestra will be playing the best songs from the GAP playlist.

Oh hiiiiiii gurl Data!!!!! Moi just came back on the lounge d cause moi hasn't had a comput in years and has been having times hard! ): Moi had to live on the street for 6 months!!! Then I met a mens that is taking care of moi like I shoudl! Moi just has to service hims and he pays my bills life is marvy! Well Moi would just like to say It would be so fabu if moi could be in the show!!! You gurls on the lounge data are all prettt in your own ride and wont t be womens like me but we know hoo looks the best in a blonde wig, purrp skirt with knee highboots. I look so wundy! REmeber all you girls on the lounge we no you all want to be womens and it is ok to be fem and wundy! Love and toodles to all gurls d! Put moi in the data show!

I’m the spirit of Michifest symbolised by a set of worn out discarded bongos. Hear me roar penised-persons!

Despite the ongoing pandemic, In honor of the pandemic deniers, the Once Around the Garden salad bar will be open during intermission.

Special shoe covers will be needed to use the restroom toilets.

Will Patti LuPone play Poo Shoes?

[quote]Will Patti LuPone play Poo Shoes?

No, but she'll literally stop the show with "Excuse Me, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?"

I'm the confetti and glitter that we emptied all stores of, within a 10-mile radius--and we need still MORE!!

r29 Wundy g! So happy to hear from you. You know, Broadway is much more competitive than the Rob and San B. Do you have what it takes to perform 8 shows a week?

I am “I am Sixty Ho’ing on Seventeen”

I see me and I know you see me!

Cute, R38. Real cute.

I’m the late Patsy Ramsey, who despite losing relevance from most circles seems to rear to my head every so often to give well intentioned words of motherly wisdom.

I'm the cak and graxy for sale in the lobby along with souvenir earrings and caftans.

I wasn't invited WHY?

Because your wig would probably clog the toilet, not to mention other things you leave behind.

I wish I were still alive so I could be in this and kick someone in the CUNT bone.

[quote] I’ll be the writer that appropriates hip-hop and crafts a number with a nod towards to the successful Hamilton.

I'm the first rehearsal where you will be fired in front of everybody.

I'm the endless reprises of "Anything you can do" still going on long after the curtain has gone down and the audience has gone home.

I'm the screams of old acquaintances in the chorus and audience who recall when they first met, on the train to New Jersey in 1998 when on our way to see "Follies" at the Paper Mill Playhouse. We spend time arguing over who sang "I'm still here" best.

I'm Le Senatrice, Nathan Lane's understudy as Joel's neighbor. My rendition of "My Neighbor Joel" has a falsetto in it that Nathan Lane couldn't reach with a crane. I'm just waiting for the night when he gets Covid, I mean, a cold and I knock him right out of the part.

I'll do the Act I closer.

SOLO!

Just me under the lights and glitter in my nightgown!

I'm hired to create a signature number for a "difficult" voice and all I can come up with is "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" with lyrics from "Dawson's 50 Load Weekend."

Can I get away with the repeating the whole melody to knock out the other 49 references needed in the lyrics.

I'm Helen Lawson's kaleidoscopic tree.

I’m the closing after the 3rd performance.

I'm Nelson O'Hara, upset that I didn't get to sing "You're Gonna Hear From Me" and "The Circus is a Wacky World" in that new big musical epic. They gave it to someone named Davis Clover. I hear those that they are auditioning for the new Hellman Lawson musical down the street. He was great in "Piddling on the Roof". I hear he's very nice to aspiring juveniles.

I'm Nathan Lane singing my interpolated specialty number "Do-Mi-Do Duds" from The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T. I camp it up outrageously and bring down the house.

I'm the original cast recording which is only playable on Edison Phonograph records since that's what eldergays consider cutting-edge technology.

I'm a very dejected Gary Coleman, told in no uncertain terms that I was just too fat to play the part of 🚶 Darfur O.

I'm the 35-foot tall fiberglass recreation of the Damon Butt. An offstage chorus describes me in detail before I'm rolled out on stage.

[quote] I'm a very dejected Gary Coleman, told in no uncertain terms that I was just too fat to play the part of 🚶 Darfur O.

What method of communication did you use, an Ouija board?

I'm Bernadette Peters in the role I was born to play as Mrs. Patsy Ramsey, formerly of Boulder, CO. I open the second act with a melancholy ballad about ransom letter composition.

I'm the homage to The Producers, "OP is Worse Than Hitler."

The only hit that comes out of a Datalounge show is Muriel. And that’s ME, baby!

Now get the hell out of my dressing room, I’ve got a man waiting for me.

If you ain't Red M you ain't M u r i e l